


Old Friends and New Territories

by Cupcake525



Category: Criminal Minds, Criminal Minds (US TV), Matthew Gray Gubler - Fandom, mgg - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:07:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 214,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25709431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cupcake525/pseuds/Cupcake525
Summary: 14 year old Matthew befriends the strange new girl that just moves to town after she stands up to some jocks who are bullying him. Their friendship develops into crushes and as soon as they admit it the reader’s family suddenly moves away.  Several years later Matthew is starting his first day of shooting on CM and when he walks into the prop department guess who works there… the reader! They rekindle their friendship. It only gets complicated after Reader offers to help Matthew practice for his very first kissing scene.
Relationships: Matthew x reader
Comments: 14
Kudos: 38





	1. Part 1

Reader

Hearing glass smashing in the other room, Y/n flinched as she quickly ushered her crying little brother down the hall to her bedroom. Her step-dad was at it again. They haven’t even been here two weeks and he already broke his promise to their mom. Every time they moved, he would promise it would be different. That he would get help. That he would stop drinking. Every time it was a lie. 

“Shh, it’s okay Benny. Let’s just go watch a movie. Mom will be home soon,” Y/n said, trying to reassure her little brother. Once they were in her room, she shut the door and wedged her vanity chair under the knob. Just to be sure. She then took Benny’s hand and gently guided him to the tie-dye bean bag, sitting in front of her TV. Popping in his favorite movie, she plugged in some noise canceling headphones and plopped them on his head to drown out the yelling. Y/n then sat next to him on the floor and held his hand until he got lost in the movie’s story and his tears had stopped. 

Sighing, Y/n got up off the floor and walked over to one of the many moving boxes and dug out a new sketch pad. They had been in Las Vegas, Nevada long enough for her to have been unpacked, but she refused. It was only a matter of time before Larry lost his job again, and they would have to throw everything back in the boxes to move to god only knows where. In the last four years, since her mother married Larry, they have moved six times. Six new towns, six new schools, and so many friends lost. At this point Y/n had given up making connections. She kept to herself and just waited for the next uproot.

Grabbing her sketching pens and ear buds from her backpack, Y/n climbed onto her bed and pulled out her phone, and sent her mother a text:

Please come home! He is drunk and destroying the kitchen! Benny accidentally spilled a cup of milk. We are hiding in my room!

While waiting for her mom to respond, she selected her favorite play list and put in her buds and began to draw. Her mom, brother, music, and drawing were the only good things she had in her life anymore. Larry had destroyed everything else.

When her phone buzzed, she put down her sketch paid and checked her message:

Mom: OMW! Don’t let him in!

Yeah, like she ever would. Y/n rolled her eyes and continued drawing without responding to her mother’s text. Let her worry. Serves her right. She loved her mom, but sometimes Y/n couldn’t help but resent her. This was her fault. She married him and chooses to stay with him. Even after everything that has happened. 

Ever since Larry came into their lives, it felt like everything fell apart. He was nice at first, but once he and her mom got married and they all moved in together it became clear he wasn’t what he originally seemed to be. He drank too much and had a violent temper. Y/n couldn’t count how many times she or her mother have been caught in the crossfire of his outbursts of anger. There had been too many black eyes, bruises, and busted lips to count. For the most part, they had been able to spare Benny from the brunt of it. Y/n spent most of her days on high alert, making sure he was safe and out of the way. She pretty much considered herself his protector. Y/n would do anything to make sure nothing ever hurt him.

The one thing coming up that Y/n was looking forward to was starting school Monday. It wasn’t because she was excited to make new friends, but because it was the only time she could relax and didn’t have to constantly keep an eye on Benny. He was safe at school and away from Larry. Y/n wasn’t looking forward to being the new kid again, however. The other kids always think she is weird or stuck up because she never makes attempts to get to know them. It also didn’t help that she tries her best to blend into the background with her dark baggy clothes. 

Y/n had started using her wardrobe as a shield about a year ago. Not only did it keep the other kids away and save her from the inevitable heartbreak of losing another friend, but it also hides her body from prying eyes. In the last two years, Y/n’s body has started to change and develop. Although Larry has never said anything perverse to her or tried to touch her, she would sometimes catch him looking at her in a way that made her feel very uncomfortable. So, Y/n took to hiding her new curves beneath sweatshirts and oversized t-shirts. Lastly, it made hiding bruises easy.

As Y/n continued to draw and get lost in thought, she didn’t notice Benny get up and walk over to her bed and was startled when he tugged on her hoodie sleeve. Setting her art aside, Y/n removed her ear buds and asked, “What’s up BenBen?”

“It's really quiet out there, can we go out and get a drink? I’m really thirsty.”

“Hmmm, I don’t know, buddy, Mom said to stay put. She is on her way home,” she said, getting up to look at the window. Larry’s car was still out front and their mother had not made it back yet. “Tell you what, I think I have a water bottle in my bookbag. Will that work for now?” she asked, digging through her bag, pulling out the bottle.

Benny pouted, but nodded his head before disappointedly saying, “I guess so.”

“I promise I'll get you something better once Mom gets home, ok?” 

“Yeah, okay. Can you come sit with me and watch the movie?” Benny asked with great big puppy eyes.

Rolling her eyes and smiling, Y/n closed her book and slipped off her bed, “Sure thing, but you’re gonna have to remind me what the red car’s name is again,” she said as she settled down on the beanbag with Benny on her lap.

****** Monday******

Thankfully, the morning went by smoothly. Y/n was able to help get Benny ready and out the door for their first day of school without any trouble. It definitely helped that Larry didn’t come home last night after going to the bar, which wasn’t out of the norm. If you ask Y/n it was a blessing. She hoped he never came home to be honest. Not that they would get that lucky.

Being that their schools were so close to their home, Benny and Y/n opted to walk. It gave them a chance to scope out their neighborhood. Luckily, the elementary school was right next to Y/n’s new middle school so she will be able to see Benny off before heading to her own school. They were about half way there when a boy who looked about Y/n’s age crossed the street and started to walk alongside them. 

He was short and a little chubby. With short brown hair, he had braces and wore the dorkiest round glasses. He was wearing a horribly printed Hawaiian button up with khaki shorts. And if that wasn’t weird enough, he had on crazy novelty socks that were nowhere near matching. 

“Hi! I’m Matthew! Are you the family that moved in down the road?” asked the boy, seeming a little too excited. 

“Hi! Yeah, I’m Benny and this is Y/n,” answered her little brother, happily. She was really going to have to talk to him about talking to strangers. Especially ones that would probably try to make friends with her. 

“That’s cool! Where did you move here from?” the boy asked. He clearly planned on walking all the way to school with them. 

Grabbing Benny’s hand Y/n, dropped her protective antisocial shield and hunched her shoulders and dipped her head letting her long y/h/c hair curtain around her face. “We can find our way on our own, thanks,” she barked, pulling her brother along as she picked up her speed, leaving the boy behind, looking hurt.

Matthew stood and watched as the siblings practically ran from him. He wasn’t sure what just happened. The little boy seemed nice enough, but he was more his brother’s age. What had he said that upset the girl so much? He was a little disappointed because when he had heard some new kids had moved in down the street, he had hoped he could try to make some friends. Something he didn’t have much of. Most kids at his school thought that he was weird and he was often picked on or even beaten up.

Sighing, Matthew turned around and walked back to his house to ask his mom for a ride to school. As he walked dejectedly back in the house his mom popped her head out from the kitchen. 

“Matthew? Is that you? I thought you were going to walk to school with the new neighbor kids,” she said, walking into the room looking concerned.

“Yeah, the girl wanted to walk her brother to school alone. But it’s okay. Maybe she is nervous or shy. I can try again tomorrow,” he said, trying to stay positive so his mom wouldn’t worry. She was always stressing out about him not having many friends and him being bullied, but if he stayed upbeat, maybe she wouldn’t pick up on how lonely he was. 

Smiling sadly, his mom padded him on his shoulder and said, “Let me grab my keys. I’ll give you a ride to school.”

“Thanks Mom! I love you,” Matthew called out as she walked out the room.

******Later that day******

Y/n’s first day at Hyde Park Middle was going as good as she expected. After dropping off Benny, she had made her way across the street and climbed the stairs to the entrance of the school. First, she went to the office to get her schedule and the location of her locker. Once there, the office lady walked her to her home room and introduced her to her teacher. As she left the room, Y/n’s least favorite part of being a new kid on the first day commenced, as Mrs. Mack, her teacher, had her stand in front of the class and introduce herself. She also asked her to tell the class a little about herself. 

Crossing her arms around her chest and lowering her head, staring at the floor, Y/n sighed before mumbling, “My name is Y/f/n Y/l/n. I guess I like to draw and listen to music.”

After an awkward moment of silence, Mrs. Mack realized that was all she was going to share and gave Y/n a worried glance, before putting on a cheery smile and turning to the class. “Let’s all give Y/n a warm welcome,” she said as she guided Y/n to an empty seat in the middle of the room, “You can have a seat here. Your textbook is in the basket under your seat.” After placing a hand on Y/n’s shoulder, she walked to the front of the room.

As Y/n grabbed her textbook and a notebook from her backpack, Mrs. Mack called out, “Matthew, it looks like your schedule is similar to Y/n’s. How about you help her find her way around today.” 

“Sure, Mrs. Mack. I can do that,” Matthew happily replied.

Upon hearing his voice, Y/n’s head shot up and she locked eyes with him. When he beamed a huge, braces filled smile at her and waved excitedly, she grimaced and rolled her eyes before turning away from him. But not before catching his hurt look at her reaction, causing her to feel a slight twinge of guilt. 

Class went by fairly quickly after that, and when the bell rang, Y/n placed her book back where she got it and packed her backpack. As she was zipping up her bag a pair of scuffed up converse came into her view. Sighing, Y/n stood up and slid the strap of her bag on her shoulder and waited for him to lead the way. Honestly, they could have just given her a map. 

“So, you never told me where you moved from,” Matthew said, falling in step with her.

“I know,” is all she replied, keeping her eyes to the ground as they walked.

Matthew’s shoulder’s dropped with his smile. Okay, maybe there is another way to get her to talk to him, he thought scrunching up his face. Drawing! Smiling again he said, “So you like to draw! That’s really cool. I do too, but it’s….” Matthew was cut off when Levi, one of the more popular jocks in the school, passed him and shoved him into Y/n.

“Hey! Watch it,” she said when Matthew stumbled into her, causing her to almost lose her balance. Looking up she saw the look of embarrassment on Matthew’s face and looked past them as a group of boys yelled “Dweeb” before breaking out in laughter. Looking back at Matthew who was smiling again and trying to laugh it off, she asked, “What’s with those assholes?”

Laughing nervously, he waved his hand like he was trying to blow it off. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just a silly little thing we do. Anyway, are you okay? I bumped into you a little hard there. Sorry about that,” he apologized, trying to play the whole thing off. 

Y/n looked at him a moment, with her brows furrowed. Shaking her head she turned and started to walk. “I’m fine, but we should get going before we are late for class.”

Quickly catching up to her, he quietly led her to their next class.

******Lunch******

Matthew had pretty much given up trying to engage Y/n in conversation by the time lunch rolled around. When he walked her from Math to English all he got were eye rolls and an occasional grunt. And when it was time for Science, she actually put in her earbuds before meeting him at the door. She had made it pretty clear she had no interest in wanting to be his friend.

Y/n was finding it harder and harder to blow Matthew off. He was trying so hard to get her to engage with him and she was starting to really feel guilty that she wouldn’t budge. Especially, about the earbud thing. She had stolen a glance at him as they walked and he looked pretty hurt. She just knew if she let her guard down, she would probably get sucked in by his friendly, cheerful attitude. Her interest was somewhat peaked when he said he drew, too. But, she knew it would always end in her moving away and dealing with the pain of losing another friend.

They walked to the lunch room in silence, Matthew only speaking once they got there. 

“Lunch is an hour long. Just go through those doors and go through the line. There are usually several choices. Then just sit anywhere. We are allowed to go outside when we are done. If you brought a lunch, you can eat out there if you clean up afterwards. Anyway, we have gym after so I’ll meet you by the cafeteria door when the bell rings,” he quickly explained, pulling a brown bag from his book bag and walking to the doors leading outside.

Y/n stood and watched him walk away. She was a little annoyed with herself when she felt momentarily hurt that he didn’t try and eat with her. But that was the point right? Push everyone away to avoid pain in the future. Sighing, Y/n turned towards the cafeteria, before deciding to skip lunch and just eat the bag of chips she had in her bag. Heading in the same direction Matthew just did, Y/n walked through the doors to found a shaded area under a tree near the entrance to the baseball field. Sitting down, she pulled out her sketchbook and pencil. Along with her chips and her earbuds, the last of which she popped in her ears. She was about to select her music when she heard muffled screaming and what she was sure to be crying. Pulling out her left bud, Y/n turned and looked around her. Hearing a familiar voice, behind her, begging for someone to stop, she put her things down and stood up, scanning the field behind her. She could see a group of boys behind the bleachers, circling around someone, shoving and yelling at them. When she heard the boy call out again she was certain it was Matthew, and she started to quickly make her way over. As she got closer she realized it was the same boys from in the hall earlier.

“HEY! ASSHOLES! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” she yelled as she approached the group and shoved her way through the boys to help Matthew off the ground.

“No, no it’s fine don’t worry about it. Just go back to lunch,” Matthew pleaded, even though his face was red and wet with tears and his lip was split and bleeding.

“Yeah, not happening,” she said, turning back to the bullies. “What are they going to do, hit me? Trust me, I’ve had a bigger man try.”

At that statement, Matthew gave her a concerned look, but when Levi stepped closer to her, he tried to pull her back by her arm. 

“It’s so cute how you got the new girl standing up for you, Matty,” Levi said mockingly as his friends laughed. “Maybe you will get someone to touch your tiny dick, yet.” His taunt followed by yet, another stream of laughter from his hyena friends.

Seeing the mortified blush spread across Matthew’s face, Y/n decided she didn’t really care what people thought about her. It was only a matter of time before she left again. So, with knowledge of what would inevitably happen to her reputation, Y/n didn’t hold back. “Huh, that’s funny because from what I saw of it, tiny isn’t really the word for it,” she said with a giant grin on her face, causing Matthew’s eyes to widen as his head whipped around to look at her. “In fact, I’m really surprised he has room in his pants for it, but you on the other hand. I can tell from here that there isn’t much going on down there,” she said, pointing at Levi’s crotch and laughing as her eyes lingered on his groin.

“Oh, damn!” one of Levi’s friends said, laughing. 

“SHUT UP,” he yelled, shoving the other boy, before getting in Y/n’s face. “Look here you little bitch, you know nothing about me and you better take that back,” he threatened.

Stepping closer to Levi, to show him she wasn’t scared of him, Y/n looked up at him and said, “Or what?”

Levi then roughly shoved against her chest, causing her to stumble backwards and fall on her butt. All of his friends got quite, shocked that he pushed a girl. Matthew quickly tried to help Y/n off the ground, but she pulled her arm from his grasp and launched herself at Levi and tackled him to the ground. When she pulled her fist back to punch Levi, Matthew grabbed her wrist and yelled, “Y/n, stop!” 

Breathing hard, Y/n leaned forward and got right in Levi’s face and gave him a warning, “If you touch me or Matthew again, I WILL rearrange your face.” Standing up, Y/n huffed in frustration, before turning and grabbing Matthew by the arm and heading back to her spot beneath the tree. 

Plopping back on the ground, Y/n looked up at Matthew, who was just standing there, staring at her, trying to process everything that just happened. “Why did you say that?”

Shrugging her shoulders and reaching for her bag of chips, putting a hand full in her mouth, before asking around the chips, “What? The thing about your dick?”

Blushing again and looking away, Matthew continued, “Yeah, that. You know he is going to tell everyone and they are gonna get the wrong idea about you.”

Shrugging again, Y/n padded the ground next to her, “ Oh well, now sit down. Hey, at least people will have a better idea of you though. That’s how these things work.”

“Not, ‘oh well,’ plus he is going to be gunning for you.”

Laughing and holding out her bag of chips, offering some to Matthew, Y/n reassured him, “Seriously, don’t worry about it. I probably won’t be here long enough for it to even matter. Also, I doubt he will say anything because I definitely hit a sore spot back there. He’ll be too worried that I’ll tell everyone one that I actually saw his penis and it was tiny.” Y/n laughed to herself again, pulling the chips back when he didn’t take any. “So are you going to sit down or….” she trails off, staring up at him.

Sighing, Matthew sat down next to Y/n and gingerly touched his lip. “What did you mean when you said you wouldn’t be here long enough for it to matter?”

“My family moves a lot,” Y/n said, picking up her sketchpad again. 

Leaning over, Matthew peered at what she was drawing and smiled when he saw it was a creepy looking fairy, but when he smiled it pulled on his lip and he hissed.

“How’s the lip?” Y/n asked, not looking up from her sketch. 

“Fine, just sore. My mom is going to freak out though.”

Finally looking up, Y/n hummed and pulled out a travel pack of tissue. Pulling one out, she leaned over and padded his lip with it. He hissed again when she dabbed at the cut and when they locked eyes she cleared her throat, “It started bleeding again,” she said, handing him the tissue and leaned back.

“Thank you by the way, for stopping them… and the tissue,” he said. “I really like your drawing too. I draw, but not that good.”

“Art doesn’t need to be perfect to be good. Maybe it’s just your style,”Y/n said.

Giving her a small smile, as not to hurt his lip, Matthew realized this could be his opening for friendship, “Hey, so, maybe I could show you my drawings sometime?” he asked, hopefully.

Just as she was about to reply, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. She quickly repacked her bag and stood-up and wiped her butt off. When she looked over at Matthew, he looked a little disappointed and she realized that she never answered him. Sighing, she already knew the jig was up when she rushed in to help him. She guessed she made a friend. Kicking his foot gently as they walked back to the school, Y/n waited until he looked at her. When he did, she smiled at him and said, “ I would love to see your drawings… hey… would you like to walk home with Benny and me after school?”

Not thinking, Matthew beamed at her, causing him hiss again, laughing it off, he said, “Yeah, I would really like that!”

“Cool,” Y/n said smiling back. For a first day, it didn’t turn out too bad.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 14 year old Matthew befriends the strange new girl that just moves to town after she stands up to some jocks who are bullying him. Their friendship develops into crushes and as soon as they admit it the reader’s family suddenly moves away. Several years later Matthew is starting his first day of shooting on CM and when he walks into the prop department guess who works there… the reader! They rekindle their friendship. It only gets complicated after Reader offers to help Matthew practice for his very first kissing scene.

When Matthew walked into his house after school, he was the happiest he had been in a long time. He had a friend and she was so cool. She was brave and kinda tough. She was also really pretty. 

“Hey, Mom! Are you home?” he called out excitedly, as he dropped his book bag by the door.

“In the office, honey,” his mom called back.

Matthew hurried down the hall and started to loudly ramble about Y/n, “Omg, Mom! You would not believe how cool the new girl is! Her name is Y/n and she is the most amazing draw…” he was cut off as he entered his mother’s office and she saw his split lip and slightly bruised face.

“Matthew! My god, what happened to you? It was Levi again, wasn’t it? I’m calling the school tomorrow,” she said as she rushed over and looked at him. 

Trying to pull away from his mother’s prodding hands, Matthew reassured her, “Mom… Mom, stop! I’m fine. Yes, Levi and some guys were picking on me, but Y/n stopped them. I think they will leave me alone now.”

“Y/n is the new girl from down the road? The one that blew you off this morning? She stepped in and helped you?” his mom asked, as she stopped taking inventory of her son’s injuries.

“Yes, and she didn’t blow me off… she… she had to warm up to me. I think she normally likes to keep to herself, but she is actually really nice. You should see her drawings! They are so awesome! So much better as mine, but she said that she liked mine and that they were just as good. That I just had a different style,” Matthew excitedly rambled, as his mother went back to her desk smiling at him.

When he had finished and took a deep breath, his mother asked, “So, how did one small girl take on a group of boys?”

Blushing, Matthew looked away from his mom and pretended that something on her bookshelf was really interesting. “She was very brave. I… I can’t really repeat what she said, because you would probably ground me, but it definitely worked. I don’t think they will be bothering me anymore,” Matthew cautiously told his mother. When he dared to quickly peek at her from the corner of his eye, she was squinting at him with her lips pursed, so he quickly looked away and continued to study the bookshelf.

“Well, I guess I should do something to thank her then. Do you think she would like some cookies? I can make some chocolate chip ones,” his mom said, as she walked out the room.

“Mom, you can’t make her cookies! It's gonna make it weird,” he said, quickly following her out the room.

****** Later That Evening******

Lying in bed, Y/n thought about her day, and a smile came to her face. After the incident at lunch, her and Matthew had pretty much become inseparable. At P.E., they hung out together, and then in art class, he drew her some of his creatures and she loved them! On their walk home, she learned that he had gone to magic camp and he did some magic tricks for Benny. Which he really enjoyed… and so did she. It was kinda neat.

Y/n knew that getting close to Matthew was a bad idea. It would only end one way, but it had been so long since she hung out with someone her age. She could also tell he was just as lonely as she was. So, even if they would both get hurt in the end, maybe it would be worth it. Maybe she should give him a warning and let him decide for himself. 

Even with the depressing thought of having to explain to Matthew, that her family was known for frequent and sudden moves, Y/n couldn’t help but be really excited for tomorrow. She didn’t think anything could dampen her spirits, but, of course, she was wrong. As she was reaching over to turn off her bedside lamp, the sound of Larry’s pickup pulling into the driveway made her blood run cold. 

Quickly, she jumped out of bed and padded over to her bedroom door and locked it, as well as placed her chair under the knob. She then went into the shared bathroom that connected Benny and her rooms, and locked that door, before quietly sneaking into Benny’s room and doing the same. She then moved back to her room and switched off the light before hopping into bed, pulling the blankets over her head. 

As she laid quietly listening, she could feel her heart in her chest. Larry had been gone since the night before and he was more than likely drunk, high, or both. The longer he stayed away, the worse he was when he came home. She jumped when she heard the front door slam shut down stairs, and started breathing heavy when she heard him curse as he loudly stomped up the stairs. She hoped that he would go straight to his room and pass out. That was the best-case scenario. Worst case scenario, he starts a fight with their mom or tries to start a fight with her. She just hoped he hadn’t noticed her light.

As he got closer to the landing, Y/n held her breath, but when he walked past her room, she slowly released it. But, it was too soon. She heard him stop and at first, she was worried he had stopped at Benny’s room. Usually he left her little brother alone, she thinks it’s because he is a boy and he just had more respect for them than girls, but every once and a while he would focus on him and Y/n would put herself in the path of danger and take the beating instead. 

Y/n was about to get out of bed and make her way to her brother’s room when she heard Larry’s boots thumping back in the direction of her room and stop in front of her door. Y/n froze with one foot on the floor and the other leg in her bed. She swallowed hard, trying to push down the fear that seemed to be rising in her throat or was it vomit? When the knob of her door started to wobble her heart began to slam against her ribcage. She wasn’t stupid. She knew that the lock and chair would not stop him if he really wanted to get in. 

“I know you're awake in there, Y/n. Why don’t you come unlock this door? You can tell me about your first day at school,” Larry said through the door, in a whispered slur. Y/n squeezed her eyes shut, and tried to calm herself, but when she didn’t answer, he banged on her door with his fist, causing her to yelp and run to her closet. There she curled up and hid behind the wardrobe boxes she had yet to unpack. When he banged again and started to yell, tears streamed down her face and she cowered further back in her closet.

She then heard her mother’s voice and they started to argue, but as the voices moved down the hall, Y/n stayed where she was. He had never actually tried to come into her room at night and the idea as to why he would want to, terrified her. 

Even after the house quieted down, Y/n stayed hidden in her closet. Eventually falling asleep. All happy thoughts from earlier, now forgotten.

******Tuesday******

Matthew sat patiently on his doorstep, waiting for Y/n and Benny to pass. When he saw them coming around the corner he hopped up and quickly crossed the street to meet them. As he got closer though, he noticed that Y/n looked really out of it as she walked, staring ahead, like a zombie. The dark circles around her eyes were giving his natural ones a run for their money. 

“Hey,” Y/n said dully, as she walked past Matthew.

“Hey, are you… okay?” he asked, falling in step with them and giving Benny a questioning look, who just shrugged.

“Yeah, just tired. I didn’t sleep well,” she said, finally looking at him and giving him a weak smile. 

“Oh, ok… so, I know it’s kinda weird, but my mom made you some chocolate chip cookies,” Matthew said, pulling out a big Ziplock bag full of cookies.

Y/n smile brightened a little and more life came into her eyes as she laughed and said, “You’re right that is weird. Why did she make me cookies?” she asked, reaching over to take the bag and opening it. She took out three cookies and put the rest into her backpack. She, then, handed one to Benny and another to Matthew, before eating half of hers in one bite.

“As a thank you for helping me out yesterday,” Matthew said before taking a much smaller bite than Y/n.

“Gotcha, it really was nothing though. Just being a decent person,” she said, chewing the second half of her cookie. Matthew smiled at her and shook his head. She clearly was never taught to not talk with her mouth full, but he found it kinda funny.

“Well, you’re more decent then most people at our school then, because everyone knows that they beat me up and no one have ever stood up to them like that,” Matthew said, sincerely.

Looking over at him, Y/n gave him the sweetest smile. “Well, tell your mom I said thank you. It was really nice of her.”

“Hey, Matthew! Can you show me another magic trick?” Benny asked excitedly.

“I don’t know, it’s not really something you can do just out of the blue…. wait, hold on,” Matthew said with a smile reaching behind Benny’s ear and pretended to pull out a quarter. “Did you lose this? What a weird place to keep your money,” Matthew said smiling, as Benny’s face lit up with excitement. Putting the quarter in the other boy’s hand, Matthew winked at Y/n.

“That’s so cool! How did you do that? Can you teach me?” Benny asked, inspecting the coin. 

“Yeah, I can teach you a couple of tricks. You can be my apprentice,” Matthew said, laughing. 

“You’re really good at that,” Y/n said, as they approached Benny’s school.

“Nah, I’m mediocre. It’s really just about sleight of hand. Takes a lot of practice. I’m still learning,” Matthew said, humbly.

“Well, I think it’s really awesome. Wait here, I’m going to walk Benny to the door. I’ll be right back,” Y/n said as she took her brother’s hand and walked him to the front of the building.

Matthew watched as Y/n hugged her brother goodbye and waved him off as he entered his school. As she started to head back, he beamed at her, as the light hit her just right, illuminating her face and making her y/c/h glow like a halo. He swallowed; she was really pretty. Probably the prettiest girl he had ever seen, the thought making him blush. 

As she walked up to Matthew, she noticed how red he was, and gave him a weird look and asked, “You okay? You’re all red.”

“What?” he said, as his eyes widened and he quickly turned away from her, and started walking towards their school.

“Wait, what?” y/n asked, confused by his response. She hurried to catch up to him, “So… you’re being weird, but I’m going to assume that’s just a normal thing for you and just roll with.”

Laughing, he glanced at, “And yet, you do seem so normal yourself.”

“I’m not,” she said smiling at him, causing him to smile back.

“Good, we will be not-normal together,” he said as they walked in their school. 

As they made their way to their home room, they passed Levi and his friends and as Y/n predicted, he passed them quickly, refusing to make eye contact. He didn’t even try to trip him, Matthew realized. Laughing, he nudged Y/n with his elbow and she started laughing as well. 

******Lunch*******

The first half of the day went quick and Y/n couldn’t wait for the time they spent talking between classes. Something about Matthew’s bubbly personality was refreshing, and the fear from the night before was quickly washed away. He really made her feel happy. He was actually really funny too. Even if he didn’t realize it.

As they walked into the lunch room, Matthew said, “I can wait for you if you want to get something from the cafeteria.”

“No, I’m good. I got something to eat. Let’s just go outside,” she said, as she started to head towards the doors. Once they were outside, they headed to the same spot Y/n had sat the day before and settled down. 

Pulling out a brown bag from his backpack, Matthew watched as Y/n pulled out her sketchpad and the Ziplock bag of cookies. Laughing he asked, “Seriously? That’s going to be your lunch?”

“Why not,” she said around a cookie while opening her book. 

Shaking his head, Matthew then pulled out the notebook he used for his own drawings. He frowned, however, when he noticed Y/n pulled out her earbuds from the pocket of her oversized army jacket.

Y/n popped open the case and without looking up, and held out the left earbud for Matthew. When he didn’t take it, she looked up and saw he was looking down at his own book, but he looked incredibly sad. “Psst,” she said trying to get his attention and when he looked up, she said, “Catch,” and tossed it at him, underhand.

Matthew fumbled and caught what she had tossed him. When he opened his hand and saw her other earbud the sadness on his face from moments before disappeared and was replaced with intense joy. He popped it into his ear and asked, “So what are we listening to?”

“It’s my favorite playlist. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. Mostly The Gorillaz, Weezer, Cake… oh, and some Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, and Red Hot Chili Peppers. Maybe some Queen’” she said, before putting in her own earbud and hitting play. 

“I’ve only heard of one or two of those bands. My parents mostly listen to oldies like Elvis, Marvin Gay, The Beatles and The Beach Boys,” Matthew said, as he listened to the beginning of a cool drum beat, followed by someone making monkey noises. “What song is this?” he asked, smiling, really enjoying the sound.

“Clint Eastwood, by the Gorillaz. Do you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s really good,” he said, smiling at Y/n. 

She smiled back at him and said, “Maybe someday you can make a playlist on my phone, and we can listen to some of your stuff.”

He got a really excited look on his face, “Yeah! That’s a great idea!” 

After that, they both sat quietly. Enjoying the music and each other’s company as they ate and drew in their books. Every once in a while, he would ask who was playing and what the name of the song was. Y/n would quietly reply without looking up and Matthew would jot it down in the margins of his book, to look up later. 

When the bell rang, Matthew handed Y/n her earbud back, and packed up his bag and stood up. He then put his hand out to help Y/n up. When she raised up her arm to take his hand, her jacket sleeve slid down her arm and he thought he saw a healing greenish- yellow bruise, that resembled a hand print, around her wrist. The glance was so fast he wasn’t sure if that was what he saw, so he decided to let it go. Maybe he would be able to get a better look when they were in P. E.

Once they enter the gym, they momentarily separate to head to the boy’s and girl’s locker rooms to change into their gym clothes.

Matthew took his clothes and headed into a stall. He never changed out in the open of the locker room, because the one time he did, Levi shoved him in a locker and took all his clothes, leaving him stranded. It wasn’t until half way through his next period did anyone notice he was missing.

While he was in the stall changing, someone tapped on the outside of the door. 

“Hey Gubler, is it true? Did you really let the new girl see your dick?” Andrew Ripley asked, through the door.

Swinging the door open, Matthew tried to pass Andrew without answering him but he blocked his path. Sighing, Matthew shook his head and said, “No, so don’t go spreading it around.”

“I mean, it might be too late for that, but I’m kinda disappointed to hear it’s not true. She sounded like she could be fun to hang out with.”

Matthew just glared at him before he was able to slip past him and lock his things in his locker before heading out to the gymnasium. When he stepped out of the locker room, he saw Y/n standing awkwardly in a sweatshirt and athletic track pants. Sighing, he realized he wouldn’t be able to get a better look at her arm. He walked across the room and stopped in front of Y/n, who to be honest, looked really mad about something.

“You okay? You look ready to rip someone’s head off,” said Matthew.

“Oh no, I’m fine. But, if I was going to start ripping off heads, I would probably start with… oh, I don’t know… that blond girl over there,” Y/n said nodding her head in the direction of Amber Hoyt.

“Ah, yes. She is the female equivalent of Levi… so I hear. I’m not even a blip on her radar,” explained Matthew.

“Well, you might be now. Clearly, yesterday’s conflict has made its way to the people. While Levi may have been too chickenshit to say anything, his friends were not. Just so you know, my new nickname in the locker room is ‘the new slut’,” Y/n said rolling her eyes. “Not even original. You know I miss old timey words like harlot or trollop.”

Matthew started laughing, “You trollop, you.” Causing Y/n to laugh as well. 

The rest of P.E. went smoothly. The best part was when they played dodgeball. Matthew clearly was not the best dodger, as he was out in two seconds. Y/n, however, was able to pelt both Levi and Amber pretty hard, before being outed herself. 

“Those were some nice shots,” Matthew said when she came to sit next to him on the floor. 

“Thanks! You need to work on your dodge, man,” Y/n said bumping him with her shoulder.

“How did you get so good at dodging?”

The smile fell from her face and she looked away and watched the game before swallowing and saying, “I’ve had a lot of practice.”

Matthew gave her a worried look. He could just feel that something was off. There was something she was hiding. He guessed it’s also why she tried to push him away in the beginning. He wasn’t sure if he should just come out and ask her or just play it out. He had only known her for two days, and while they have been getting along great, they weren’t exactly close. 

Deciding to sleep on it or maybe talk to his sister and see what she thought, Matthew sighed. He knew if he went to his mom, she would want to look into it and if he was wrong, he could lose his newfound friend. He wasn’t ready to risk that.

During art, they painted. Y/n painted a really cool ghostly figure and Matthew used watercolors to paint a town full of his monsters.

“Hey, so did you want to maybe come over today after school? We can do that history assessment and then I can show some more of my drawings and introduce you to some more music. You can even make that playlist,” suggested Y/n. She normally wouldn’t invite him over, but Larry was supposed to be working tonight and after last night she really didn’t want to be in her room, alone.

Matthew excitedly agreed, “I just have to stop at my house first and let my mom know.” 

“Okay, sounds good,” Y/n said. “Hey, have you ever thought about naming your monsters?”

Laughing, Matthew shook his head, “No, people already think I’m strange enough.”

“Well, I think it’s part of your charm. Don’t ever change Goob,” Y/n said, sincerely. Causing Matthew to blush and duck his head. 

After school, they picked up Benny, and began their walk towards their street. After a quick stop at Matthew’s, he quickly slipped inside and when he came back out a couple minutes later, his mother followed him outside and waved to her and Benny, before shutting the door.

“Okay, I just have to be back by dinner,” Matthew said as he re-approached them and they began to walk again. He and Y/n were talking about their favorite songs when they turned the corner and Benny grabbed Y/n’s hand and quietly said her name.

Confused as to why Benny was suddenly so upset, Y/n bent down and quietly asked, “What wrong, BenBen?” He did say anything, but he silently pointed ahead of them. Creasing her brow, Y/n stood up and looked down the road and saw Larry’s truck parked in their driveway. 

Matthew noticed the siblings’ obvious apprehension and fear. He knew without a doubt that something was definitely up. When they both started to back up and quickly backtrack around the corner, he took one more glance in the direction they were originally headed, trying to figure out what had spooked them, before following them in their retreat. When he turned the corner Y/n was squatting in front of Benny and they were talking quietly again.

“So… I’m not sure what’s going on, but if you want to, we can just go to my house,” suggested Matthew. 

When Y/n looked up at him he saw relief wash over her face, “Your mom won’t mind?” she asked. 

“Nah, she won’t care. Hey Benny, you can meet my brother Gray. You guys seem close in age and I think you two would get along great,” said Matthew.

The walk back to Matthew’s was quiet and a little awkward. Y/n knew she was going to have to explain to him why she and Benny panicked. She was hoping he would just let it go, but judging from the glances he kept sending her way, she knew the chances were low. Y/n was worried that if he knew how messed up her family was, he would change his mind about being her friend. 

When they entered his house, Matthew called out to his mom, “Hey Mom, we are going to hang out here instead. They got locked out.” Y/n was honestly surprised he had so easily covered for them. 

When his mom walked into the entryway, she greeted both the children and they introduced themselves. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Gubler, for the cookies. They are delicious,” Y/n said, sweetly. 

“No. I believe I should be thanking you. I don’t know how you did it, seeing as how my son won’t tell me,” she said giving them both a pointed look, “but I am grateful nonetheless.”

“Wait, what did you do? What happened? I thought the cookies were just to welcome us,” asked Benny, looking really confused.

“Don’t worry about it BenBen,” Y/n said, “Hey, Matthew we should introduce Benny and Gray now!”

“He is in his room, Matthew, you all go on up,” his mother informed them.

They waved goodbye before heading up the stairs. They were half way up, when his mother called, “And Matthew… leave your door open.” 

Throwing back his head Matthew groaned and rolled his eyes, “Moooom… you’re so embarrassing,” he whined as he turned beat red. 

Y/n started laughing, as his mom called back, “Watch it Matthew, trust me when I say I can be even more embarrassing!”

Huffing, Matthew clomped the rest of the way up the stairs and led Benny to a closed door. He knocked and when it opened it revealed a boy around Benny’s age. “Hey, you’re that new boy at my school! Do you want to come play superheroes with me?” Gray asked, excitedly.

“Yeah, I’m Benny. Can I be Superman?” Benny asked, disappearing into the room.

“Wow, that was easy,” Y/n said, shocked at how casually Benny took to the other boy. 

She was even more shocked when Matthew grabbed her hand and dragged her further down the hall and into what she assumed to be his room. His room had posters of old horror movies and magicians. He had stuffed animals and toys all over his room, as well as a table covered in art supplies. 

“You can take your jacket and shoes off if you want,” Matthew said as he kicked off his shoes to reveal a pair of mismatched socks, again. 

“Ok… I have to ask, what is with the socks?” she asked, with a goofy smile, kicking off her own shoes. 

“My grandmother told me it was good luck, so I always wear mismatched socks. That’s it really,” he explained, noticing that she left her jacket on. 

“So, about earlier,” he asked cautiously.

“Wow, we are gonna get straight to the point aren’t we,” Y/n said, a little snippy, crossing her arms in front of her.

Swallowing and looking down, Matthew was nervous about pushing on, because she was clearly starting to get upset. 

Sighing, Y/n walked over to his bed and plopped down on it. “Look, my family life is a little messed up. My step-dad… well, he… he sometimes loses his temper and he has a tendency to drink too much. We move a lot because he is always losing his job. But, I think it’s also because he gets in trouble with someone, whether it be drugs, or gambling, I don’t really know. I just know since he and my mother have been married, we haven’t stayed put for very long,” she explained.

Matthew was quiet for a moment, with a thoughtful look on his face. “So, how long do you think you’ll be here?” he asked, looking over at her.

Y/n just gave him a sad look and shrugged her shoulders. “That’s why I go out of my way, NOT to make friends. I got tired of the heartbreak of losing them.”

Nodding his head, “And the 'a bigger man had tried’ statement and the bruise on your wrist?” he asked, noticing how she tugged her sleeve down a little at the mention of her bruise.

“You saw that, huh? That’s from about a week and a half ago,” she quietly said.

“But, he did it?”

Drawing in a shaky breath, Y/n looked away trying to blink back tears, “Yeah, he was hurting my mom, so I stepped in. Sometimes it’s not so bad for her if I can distract him. Sometimes, I even have to get in the way when it looks like he is going to go after Benny. I don’t usually let Benny out of my sight for long. I couldn’t live with myself if something were to happen to him. Larry was supposed to be at work tonight, but his truck was in the driveway. That’s why we didn’t want to go home.”

Matthew got up and walked across the room and sat next to Y/n and awkwardly put his arm around her shoulder. She leaned into his shoulder and they just sat there like that quietly.

“I’m always here if you need to talk. No matter what, I’ll always be your friend,” Matthew reassured Y/n, “even if you move away. If you think I won’t call or FaceTime you every day; you don’t know me well enough, yet.”

Leaning back, Y/n looked at Matthew and smiled, “I would really like that, thank you,” she said wiping the tears from her face. 

“So, show me some more of your music. I really like what I’ve heard so far,” Matthew said trying to switch to a lighter topic.   
Y/n simply smiled and pulled out her earbuds before taking off her jacket.


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 14 year old Matthew befriends the strange new girl that just moves to town after she stands up to some jocks who are bullying him. Their friendship develops into crushes and as soon as they admit it the reader’s family suddenly moves away. Several years later Matthew is starting his first day of shooting on CM and when he walks into the prop department guess who works there… the reader! They rekindle their friendship. It only gets complicated after Reader offers to help Matthew practice for his very first kissing scene

It had been three weeks since Y/n told Matthew about her home life. While he was supportive at the time, Y/n had feared that he would eventually get tired of the drama. But to her surprise, their friendship had only gotten stronger. He would often ask her how everything was going and if she was ok. If he saw a new bruise he would ask if she wanted to talk about it or if he could help somehow. He had even asked if she wanted him to ask his mom for help. She had told him no, that she didn’t want to get any other adults involved. Part of Y/n was worried that people would look down on her mother or that her and Benny would be taken away and separated. When she shared her fears with him, he had promised everything would stay between them. 

Matthew had become the brightest part of her day. If she had a bad evening, the thought of seeing Matthew in the morning kept her positive and pushed away the depression and fear. She looked forward to every moment they got to spend together. He was truly her best friend, but to her, he was much more. Y/n had, had crushes before, but they were always from a far. It was different with Matthew. She spent so much time with him and he already knew so much about her. The problem was that he had never given her any indication that he liked her more than a friend. She often wondered if it was because she dressed like a boy in loose baggy clothing. Maybe it was time to reevaluate her wardrobe and see what happened.

Which is why, when Matthew told her he had to go to the orthodontist after school, Y/n talked her mom into getting her a couple new items of clothing. Maybe she could find something a little more form fitting, but not too girly. She would never be into frills and pink, but it wouldn’t hurt to actually have some feminine articles of clothing. Maybe then he would notice her and see her as a girl and not just his friend. 

When they walked into the department store, Y/n’s mom headed straight for the boy’s section, while Y/n lingered near the teen girl’s section at the front of the store. When her mom realized she wasn’t following, she gave Y/n an annoyed face and said, “Come on we don’t have all day.”

“I know, I was just thinking that maybe we could look over here,” she said, indicating to the girl’s section. 

Her mom turned and looked at her with confusion and asked, “You do realize those are the girl’s clothes, right?”

Looking nervously between the clothing section and her mother, Y/n nodded her head and answered her with a question, “Umm… yeah?”

Then an idea visibly went off in her mother’s head and she pinned Y/n with a knowing smile. 

“Is this little shopping trip because of your new friend down the road?” her mother asked teasingly.

Blushing, Y/n rolled her eyes, and walked into the clothing section as she whined, “Nooo. He is just my friend. Gross.”

Her mother, just quietly chuckled and asked, “So what kinds of things are you looking for? I’m guessing nothing too girly, right?”

“Right,” Y/n said looking through the different racks, “Maybe some t-shirts that don’t hang off of me. A pair of girls pants and maybe some shorts.”

“That sounds do-able. How about this?” her mom asked, holding up a baby doll t-shirt that said Nirvana on its front.

“Yes! I love it! This is cool,” she said holding up a cute black and white checkered short sleeve button up.

“What about this?” Benny asked, smiling while holding up a pink shirt with a unicorn on the front. 

“Ewww, gag. No way BenBen. Put that back,” Y/n said, scrunching her face up in disgust.

By time they made their way out of the dressing room, she had picked out six tops, two pairs of pants, two shorts, and even a denim skirt.

On the drive home, Y/n sat up front with her mother, while Benny was in the back seat with headphones and his iPad. Her mom had been pretty quiet since they had left the mall. Y/n could sense her mother wanted to talk to her about something by the way she kept giving her sideway glances and looking back to make sure Benny was preoccupied. She just hoped it wasn’t going to be the sex talk because she was good. She was taught all the important basics in school last year.

“So how has everything been going at school?” her mom asked, not taking her eyes off the road. “I haven’t been seeing a lot of you two, lately. I know my new work schedule is not very convenient and it tends to leave you guys home alone with Larry more than I like, but I’m working on putting some money aside. So, how are things going?”

“School is good and we are fine. We actually almost never see Larry because we go to Matthew’s right after school and when we get back, you are usually home and he is usually at work by then, so all is good.”

“Okay, that’s good. That makes me feel a little better. Matthew’s parents don’t mind you being over there so much?”

“Nope. His mom is really cool. Matthew didn’t really have any friends before me so I think she is just grateful. She even made me cookies to thank me for stopping some bullies from beating him up on our first day of school!” 

Her mother turned and smiled proudly at her, pushing her hair out of her face and behind her ear. “You are always such a caring and brave girl.”

Y/n ducked her head and blushed at her mother’s complement. They sat quietly for a moment and Y/n turned to look out the window thinking the conversation was done.

“So…umm… the other night I found Larry outside your bedroom door and I’ve been noticing how he sometimes watches you,” her mother paused and swallowed then turned to look at Y/n, giving her a chance to say something. When she refused to look at her mother, she continued, “You would tell me if he was touching you, right? Touching you in a… fuck… he isn’t touching you sexually, right?

“No. He hasn’t done anything like that, I promise.”

“You would tell me, even if he said he would hurt me or your brother, you would still tell me?”

“Yes, Mom. I would tell you,” Y/n said reaching over to squeeze her mom’s hand.

Releasing a deep breath, her mom nodded her head and said, “Okay, good. Just so you know. Our lives won’t always be like this… I am working on something. I’m trying to make sure you’re both safe. I’m sorry for everything, honey. I know how hard it is for you. I love you both.”

“I know Mom, we love you too,” Y/n said before leaning over to kiss her mom on the cheek. “Thank you for the clothes. Maybe next time we can pick up some makeup…” 

Her mother laughed and saw a drug store coming up, “How about we just stop at this Walgreens,” she said, turning into the store’s parking lot. 

Y/n smiled and clapped her hands, excitedly!

“Just a friend, huh? Maybe I need to meet this mysterious Matthew,” her mom said teasing her.

Y/n rolled her eyes and groaned as she got out of the car. 

Benny started to teasingly sIng as they walked into the store, “Y/n and Matthew, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” 

Giggling at her brother’s teasing, she gave him a gentle shove and said, “Oh my god, stop!”

*******

Every morning, Matthew woke up early and got himself ready for the day as quickly as possible. He had gotten in the habit of making two sandwiches for lunch, but mostly because Y/n was horrible at doing it herself. She would just bring junk food or something small or nothing at all and she never wanted anything from the lunch line. By the end of P.E. he’d laugh at her because she’d groan about how badly she was starving. So, he started to pack her a PB&J. Once he was ready and their lunch was packed, he would say goodbye to his mom and then go and sit on his doorstep, which was where he was now. This was his favorite part of the morning. He would just sit and stare at the corner he knew she would eventually come around. 

Lately, he had noticed a slight change in her appearance, which made his wait a little more exciting. The first time she came around the corner dressed in a tight band t-shirt, a denim skirt, a red flannel tied around her waist and a pair of combat boots, he nearly died. If he thought she was beautiful before with her baggy boy clothes, now she was simply stunning. He had never seen so much of her skin and it literally caused his brain to short circuit. When he had pulled himself together and walked across the street, he had noticed she even painted her nails, dark blue, and put on some makeup.

She was his best friend, without a doubt, but Matthew knew that, for him, it was turning into something else. He didn’t think he had ever seen a more beautiful girl in his life, no matter how she dressed. He even started having dreams about her. Dreams he definitely couldn’t share with her. He tried his best to hide his growing feelings for her, because he knew she would never see him like that. Part of him was even worried that she might even like someone else and that was why she started to dress differently. He was honestly too scared to ask because it would kill him if he was right.

At least now, that she wasn’t hiding behind her clothes, it would be easier for him to watch out for signs that Larry had gotten out of control. Matthew never liked to say he hated someone, not even Levi, but Larry, he hated. Every time he saw a new bruise or she was clearly scared or upset he would get this intense anger in the pit of his stomach, but he would push it down because she needed support not anger. He really wished she would let him tell another adult, because her mother was not doing what she should to protect her kids. Matthew knew Y/n loved her mother, but sometimes he just didn’t understand how she could stand up for her. His mother would never let his step dad hit him. Y/n tried to explain it to him, that her mom was doing her best. He would never tell her, but to him, it sounded like an excuse. 

******

Y/n thought lunch was the best part of their school day. As soon as they walked into the building, she spent the first half of her day counting the minutes until it was lunch time. Matthew would pack her something to eat for lunch and they would sit under their tree. They took turns listening to each other’s music while they ate and drew. Y/n had to admit, she really liked listening to his music. Sometimes, they would even switch books and add something of theirs to the other’s drawing. When they were together like this, she was at her happiest.

What she looked forward to the most in a day, however, was after school, when they would pick up her brother, and they would all go to Matthew’s house. Benny would play with Gray, while she and Matthew went to his room and did their homework together, then hang out until it was time for Benny and her to go home. Sometimes, they would watch old horror movies or cartoons. But she loved it when he would turn on his music and they would draw together. 

That’s what they were doing now. When Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock & Roll,” one of her favorite songs from his playlist, started to play, Y/n dropped her sketch pad on the floor next to her and ran over to the stereo and turned up the volume. Laughing, she started to dance and held her hand out to Matthew. 

“Come dance!”

Shaking his head, while he looked at Y/n, smiling he said, “Yeah, no. I can’t dance.”

“Of course, you can. Everyone can dance,” Y/n said as she wiggled hips and swayed to the song.

“Okay, let me rephrase. I can’t dance well,” he said, laughing.

Rolling her eyes, Y/n bent down and grabbed his notebook from his lap and tossed to the side, before grabbing his wrists and trying to pull him off the floor. 

“Pleeeeaase,” she playfully whined, as she tugged on his arms. 

Sighing, he climbed to his feet and stood in front of Y/n and watched as a bright smile spread across her face, as she began to dance again. He had never seen her this happy or carefree before and it was amazing. She was gorgeous as she smiled and gleefully shimmied around his room. She was almost like the sun itself. He would do anything for her… even dance. 

“Promise not to laugh?” he asked.

“You know I can’t make that promise,” she said, as she did a little spin, really getting into the song.

“Of course, you can’t,” he mumbled, smiling to himself, before taking a deep breath and beginning to dance. Or what was supposed to be dancing. His body started making a series of uncoordinated jerks as he kicked his legs.

Y/n stopped dancing and stood, slack jawed, before busting into a fit of laughter. It was almost painful to watch. It reminded her of those odd mating dances she saw those birds do on the Discovery Channel. When her laughing caused him to stop dancing, Y/n instantly felt bad.

“Yeah, okay, I’m done,” he said, stopping and moving to sit back down.

“No! No, I’m sorry,” she said, giggling as she grabbed his hands and continued to dance. “Please don’t stop! I love it. It’s so you. It’s just us here. I was just surprised, that’s all. Look, would it help if I danced really bad too?” she asked.

Matthew nodded his head and said, “Yes. Yes, it would!” He watched as Y/n tried to mimic his movements while she laughed. He literally fell to the floor with laughter. He couldn’t help it. The sight of her interpretation of his dancing was killing him. The funniest part to him though, was that even her attempt at bad dancing was still more fluid and coordinated then his actual attempts.

Y/n dropped to the floor next to Matthew and laid on her back, copying his position. They both giggled as the song came to an end. After a while, they both calmed down and laid there, grinning, and staring at the ceiling, where they had placed glowing stars the week before.

“I’m just too coordinated to be that uncoordinated,” she said, turning her head and taking in Matthew’s profile. He really was attractive. One day, all those girls that make fun of him will regret it once he hits a growth spurt and drops his baby fat. Y/n could see under it all. He would be breathtaking as a man. But to her, he was breathtaking, now. 

Smiling, he turned his head and looked back at her. They just laid there, smiling at each other. Then she saw his eyes drop to her lips and when he quickly licked his own, Y/n held her breath. Right as he started to lean in her direction her cell phone started to ring and she shot up off the floor. She quickly crawled over to the bed and grabbed her phone, thankful for the interruption. She had never kissed anyone before and she was a little nervous about the idea. What if he kissed her and she was horrible and he never wanted to kiss her again?

Looking down at her phone, she saw her mom’s name and she hit talk.

“Hey! What’s up?” she asked, as she covered her other ear to hear over the music.

Matthew got up and turned down the music so Y/n could talk on the phone. He secretly disliked whomever it was. Talk about horrible timing. She was so pretty laying next to him with red cheeks and out of breath from laughing. He wondered if he should try again when she hung up, but he knew the moment had passed. Watching her talk, he figured it was her mother, noticing her usual tension slide back into her posture. He also noticed the slight crease of her brow, which signaled to him that she was worried about something. 

“Yeah, it's okay. I understand. Okay, love you, too. See you tonight. Bye,” Y/n hung up her phone and slipped it into her back pocket and then released a big sigh.

“Is everything okay?” Matthew asked, even though he could clearly see that it wasn’t.

“Umm… yeah, no. Everything’s good. My mom was just letting me know that she had to work a double tonight. She won’t be home until late.”

Already knowing what the problem was, Matthew felt knots form in his stomach. 

“Larry if off tonight, right?”

Y/n shifted and twisted her finger’s nervously. 

“Yeah, but it will be fine. I’ll just cook me and Benny something in the microwave, and then we can just stay out of the way, in my room, until my mom gets home. It should be fine. Honestly, I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t take this opportunity to go to the bar. We probably won't even see him,” Y/n said, trying to convince both Matthew, and herself, that everything would go smoothly tonight.

“I’d ask if you could stay and hang tonight, but my mom has this work party thing and I know she would never go for it. At least, not without knowing the reason why.”  
Humming in disappointment, Y/n sat down on Matthews bed, and looked at the time on her phone.

“We probably have time to watch a movie before we have to go,” Y/n suggested, trying to change the subject.

Matthew just stood by the stereo and watched Y/n for a moment. As she started to fidget under his gaze, Matthew turned the music off all together and picked their books up off the floor and placed them on his desk. 

“What did you want to watch?” he asked, walking over to the shelf where he kept all his DVDs.

Y/n was glad Matthew had let her change the subject, even though he clearly still wanted to talk about it. She knew he still wanted to go to his mom for help. But every time he brought it up, she would, just like now, change the subject. She knew he just wanted to help and that he was worried, but she had to trust that her mom was working on it and that she wouldn’t let anything too bad happen to her. 

“Hmmm, how about the Mummy?” she suggested.

“Classic or New?”

“New.”

Grabbing her selection from the shelf, Matthew walked over to his DVD player and popped in the movie before settling on the bed with his back against the headboard. Y/n then crawled up the bed, momentarily distracting Matthew from starting the movie. As she mirrored his position next to him, she bumped him with her shoulder and quietly nodded her head in the direction of the TV. Finally pulling his gaze from her, he swallowed hard and turned to the TV and hit play.

Matthew couldn’t help but be hyper focused on the feel of her shoulder and thigh being pushed up against his. His body started to react to her closeness, forcing him to have to sit criss cross applesauce and grab a pillow from his floor and place it in his lap and lean forward with his arms over the pillow. 

Y/n noticed that Matthew suddenly seemed really tense and worried he might be mad at her for refusing to talk. Gently placing her hand on his back, she quietly said his name, “Matthew…?”

At the feel of Y/n’s touch on his back, Matthew suddenly shot up off the bed and quickly excused himself, “I have to go to the bathroom,” he said, then ran away from the room. 

Y/n could feel tears forming in her eyes. She feared that he had finally gotten tired of her problems and he would decide that being her friend wasn’t worth it. Wiping her eyes, she stood from the bed and turned off the movie and slipped on her shoes. Quickly gathering her things, she dumped them into her bag and then slipped out of Matthew’s room. She made her way down the hall and knocked onto Gray’s door and said sniffling, “Benny, it’s time to go.”

After a moment, Benny opened the door with his back and saw the Y/n was crying, “What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.

Grabbing her brother’s hand and pulling him down the stairs, Y/n snapped, “Don’t worry about it. Let’s just go.” She slammed the door as they left Matthew’s house and quickly made their way down the street.

******

As Matthew exited the bathroom, he heard the front door of the house slam. Walking to his room, he peered in and saw that Y/n and all her things were gone. He suddenly felt ashamed. She must have noticed why he ran from the room and was disgusted with him. He had clearly tried to kiss her and now he had gotten hard sitting next to her on the bed. She was never going to talk to him again. She probably thought he was a pervert. Matthew went into his room and shut the door behind him. Sitting on his bed he started to cry. He didn’t know what to do. Should he call her and apologize and try to explain or should he just give her space?

Feeling very overwhelmed, Matthew laid down and faced the spot Y/n had been sitting just moments before. Wiping his face and drawing in a shaky breath, he thought about how he wished he wouldn’t have pushed the subject about telling his mom and how he wished he hadn’t tried to kiss her. He also hoped she made it home okay and that she was able to stay safe tonight.

******

Y/n had pulled herself together by time they had made it home. To her relief, the lights were off in the house and Larry’s car wasn’t in the driveway. Releasing an anxious breath, Y/n led her brother inside and headed to the kitchen.

“Why were you crying?” Benny asked, again.

Sighing, once again, Y/n ignored her brother’s question and dug through the freezer to see what she could make them.

“Y/n?”

Whipping her head out of the freezer, Y/n gave her brother an annoyed look before saying, “I don’t think Matthew wants to be my friend anymore, okay? Can you please stop asking? I don’t want to talk about it. Now, do you want a chicken nugget TV dinner or a pepperoni Hot Pocket and chips for dinner?”

“Hot Pocket…. Did he say he didn’t want to be friends?”

Closing her eyes, Y/n took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.

“No Benny, he didn’t, but I just have a feeling. He keeps wanting to go to his mom about Larry and I won’t let him,” Y/n explained, popping Benny’s dinner in the microwave.

“You told him about Larry?”

“Yes, Benny. He is… or was my best friend. Anyways, he kinda figured it out the second day.”

“Oh… So, where is Mom?”

Sighing again, Y/n turned and removed Benny’s Hot Pocket as the microwave started to beep. 

“She has to work a double. She won’t be home until after ten.” Y/n watched as her little brother suddenly became very nervous and she walked over to him and ran her finger through his soothingly.

“Don’t worry. He isn’t here. We will take our food upstairs and lock ourselves in my room and watch TV or a movie until Mom comes home. It will be okay. I promise.” She then pecked his forehead and walked to the pantry and grabbed a bag of chips. Handing him the bag and the plate with his dinner, she said,” Head on upstairs and get something started. Do you want a root beer or ginger ale? I'll bring it up when I’m done cooking mine.”

Walking out of the kitchen, Benny called out, “Ginger ale,” before being heard stomping up the stairs.

Popping her dinner in the microwave, Y/n went to the fridge and dug out a couple of cans of soda for them each and placed them in her backpack. She then went back to the pantry and pulled out a bag of popcorn, that she would pop and bring upstairs. As she stepped out of the pantry she jumped when she heard the front door slam. 

Shit.

Tossing the popcorn back in the pantry, Y/n quickly walked over to the microwave willing it to hurry so she could slip upstairs before having to interact with Larry. Unfortunately, she was not that lucky. Her back tensed as she heard him drop his case of beer down the island counter.

“Well, look who has decided to grace us with her presents,” Larry said, coming up behind Y/n. 

Y/n didn’t respond and tried her best to ignore him. Then he gave her shoulder a shove.

“I’m talking to you girlie! You turn around and acknowledge me,” he said, starting to raise his voice.

Silencing the microwave as it started to beep, Y/n swallowed down the rising fear before slowly turning to face Larry. When she had completely turned around and was face to face with him, she realized how close he was standing to her, causing her heart rate to amp up even more. All she could smell was sweat and the alcohol on his breath, and the smell was starting to make her stomach turn.

“I got to say, I like the new look. Too bad you’re wasting it on that fat little fuck you being hanging around,” he said, dragging his eyes down her body and back up, making Y/n’s skin crawl.

Other than the intense disgust she was feeling, anger was her prominent feeling right now. Matthew may not want to be her friend, but she still cared about him. Who was Larry to talk about him like that and without even thinking, she popped off, “HE ISN’T FAT! NOT LIKE YOU, ANYWAY!” She then tried to push passed him so she could put some distance between them, but he was quick and he grasped her face and squeezed tightly, causing her lips to pucker.

She started to panic when he leaned in closer, but he quickly snapped her head to the side and whispered darkly in her ear, “Those are some big words for a little slut like you. What would your mother say if I told her what my boy Jerry told me at work? From the way I heard it, you had a bit of an altercation with his son and it turns out that you were telling him and all his friends how much you loved the little piggy’s dick. Do you think your mom would really let you continue going to his house every day after school, if she really knew what you were doing?” He then buried his nose in her hair and drew in a deep breath. “You are so much prettier than your mother,” he said, letting go of her face and taking a step back.

Y/n cheeks stung where his fingers had dug into her skin. “It isn’t true, and she wouldn’t believe you,” she said quietly, staring daggers at him.

“Oh, but I think it is. Which is a shame. A beautiful girl like you, shouldn’t waste her time on a boy like that,” he said, trying to caress her cheek.

Y/n pulled back with disgust and snapped, “Who should I waste it on? A nasty old man like you?”

She didn’t even see it coming, he was so fast. One minute she was facing him and in the next, her head had snapped to the side with the force of the blow. All she could see for a moment was white and all she could feel was the stinging pain of his hand print on the side of her face and a tight grasp around her throat. After he had slapped her, he had pinned her against the oven and microwave by her neck.

Neither she nor Larry saw Benny come running down the stairs. He was just coming to check on his sister, because she was taking so long, when he heard a loud slap and his sister call out in pain. When he rounded the corner into the kitchen, he saw that Larry had his sister by her throat and she was trying to pull his hands from her neck. Looking around, Benny saw Y/n’s bookbag and hurriedly checked the front pocket for her phone. When it wasn’t there, he slipped the bag on his shoulders, as he spotted a broom between the fridge and the counter. Grabbing it, he quickly and quietly moved behind Larry and swung. 

Larry yelled in surprise and let go of Y/n, who was gasping for air. When Larry turned to face Benny, his lips were pulled back in a snarl. Before he could take a step in Benny’s direction. Y/n kicked Larry between his legs from behind, successfully dropping him to his knees. Quickly running past him, Y/n grabbed Benny’s hand and ran for the front door. 

The only place she could think of going was back to Matthew’s. Hopefully, he wouldn’t mind. She could just keep to herself until her mom got home. As they reached his door, she looked back as she banged on it. She was worried that Larry would be so mad, that he would actually follow them. When she didn’t see him, she turned back to the door, just as it swung open. 

Matthew nearly choked when he saw Y/n. She had a dark oval bruise on her cheeks, her lip was spit and bleeding and there was a clear outline of a hand on the side of her face. 

“Oh my god! What happened? You haven’t even been gone an hour,” he said, reaching for her arm and pulling her into his house. Looking over at Benny, he asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, locking the door behind them.

“Go play with Gray, Benny,” Y/n said in a raspy voice. She didn’t want him to hear the details of what was said in the kitchen.

“No, I want to stay with you. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

Swallowing around her tender throat, Y/n softly smiled at Benny and pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Thank you for saving me BenBen. I love you! But, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry. Now go play.”

Sighing, her little brother squeezed her a little tighter, before letting go and running up the stairs to his friends’ room.

Once she knew he was out of earshot, she turned to Matthew, who had concern written all over his face.

“Sorry we came back, I didn’t know where else to go. I can just hang out on the couch until my mom can pick us up. You can just go back to whatever you were doing. You won't even know I’m here,” she said, passing Matthew to sit on the couch. He gently grasped her arm and stopped her. 

“You’re bleeding,” he said as he led her to the down stairs bathroom. He put down the toilet seat lid for Y/n to sit on, then pulled out a wash rag from underneath the sink. Turning on the water and waiting for it to get warm, Matthew glanced over at Y/n. In this light he could now see that she had finger shaped bruises starting to form around her neck. 

That was it, he could no longer hide the anger he felt every time Larry hurt her. This had been the worst, yet, and Matthew hadn’t even heard what happened.

Seeing the intense anger on his face, Y/n shrunk inside herself. Maybe coming back was a mistake. “We can go back home if you want, I’m sorry,” she rasped, as she moved to get up.

“What? Have you lost your mind? Why would I ever want you to go back there?” he said, sounding annoyed. After seeing her flinch, he closed his eyes feeling like an ass. Taking a deep breath Matthew, wet the wash cloth and kneeled in front of Y/n. “I’m sorry, I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at HIM. Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asked as he started to dab at the blood around her lip.

Y/n hissed and jerked when the warm rag touched her lip. He mumbled ‘sorry’ again, and gave her an apologetic smile.

“You’re not mad at me? And you still want to be friends?” she asked, trying to blink back tears. 

He looked up at her confused. “Of course I still want to be friends. Why wouldn’t I? I thought you didn’t want to be my friend anymore because I tried to kiss you and then had to run to the bathroom because I got hard.”

For a moment, Y/n looked confused, before her eyes grew comically large, “Oh…”

It was then that Matthew realized that Y/n was completely unaware of his situation and he had just let the cat out of the bag. Blushing horribly, he whined painfully before covering his face with his hands.

“Hey, it’s okay, it happens…. Or so I’ve heard? Wait, why did you think that would make me not want to be your friend?” 

His voice was muffled beneath his hands, so Y/n leaned forward and pulled his hands from his face.

“I couldn’t understand you,” she said quietly. 

With his face still red, Matthew nervously looked Y/n in the eye. “You were so fast to get away when I tried to kiss you and then you were gone when I came back, I just thought for sure you saw and thought I was the biggest perv.”

“I left because I thought you were mad at me for changing the subject again. Thought maybe you were tired of all my drama and for me not letting you help. I would never have thought you were a perv. Trust me when I say I’ve had to deal with a perv today… you’re not him,”Y/n said, reassuringly.

Matthew’s face darkened, “What?!”

Sighing, Y/n said, “Nothing happened, it was more of an insinuation or, like, he was jealous.”

“Jealous of who? I don’t get it. What exactly happened tonight?”

Y/n ran her hand down her face as she took a deep breath and released it. 

“He wasn’t there when we got home. So I was making Benny and me something to eat. I had sent Benny upstairs to get the movie started and I stayed downstairs. Larry got home when I was getting everything together. He was drunk and at first, he just cornered me. He kept calling you names and I got mad and kinda popped off at him. That’s when he grabbed my face. Apparently, he works with Levi’s dad and knew about what I said when I stopped them from beating you up.”

Matthew’s eyes got big and he said, “Oh…” 

“Yeah, and he threatened to tell my mom so she wouldn’t let us hang out anymore. He then told me how pretty I was,” Y/n relayed, the last part causing her to shiver. “I thought he was going to try and kiss me.” Tears started rolling down her face, as she remembered how scared she was in that moment.

Matthew’s fist tightened around the washcloth when he saw Y/n’s tears. “He didn’t though, right?” he asked, in a tight voice.

Looking up, Y/n saw Matthew clenching his jaw while tears started to form in his eyes.

“No. He let go of me and then said that a beautiful girl like me shouldn’t waste my time with boys like you,” Y/n said, seeing Matthew flinch. “I got mad and ran my mouth again, because I never know when to shut up. I asked him if I should waste it with nasty old men like him… that’s when he hit me and grabbed my throat. I was so scared, Matthew. He has never done that before. He was so angry.” Y/n tears started to fall faster.

Seeing her cry killed him and he started to cry, too. He didn’t know what to do or how to help her, so Matthew grabbed her in such a tight hug, that she actually grunted. 

They stayed like that for a long moment, until both of their tears had stopped. 

Pulling back, Matthew continued to gently clean Y/n’s face. All the while her eyes never left his face. When he was done, he stood up and tossed the rag in the laundry basket and then turned back to Y/n. 

Standing up, Y/n reached for Matthew’s hand and looked him in the eye and quietly said, “Thank you… for everything.”

She then leaned in and gently pressed her lips against his and held them there for a moment. Matthew reached up and softly cupped her bruised face and pressed his lips back against hers.

When they pulled away, they were both blushing and struggling to look at the other.

Y/n smiled shyly and giggled before hesitantly saying, “Matthew… you were right earlier when you said I didn’t want to be your friend anymore...” Matthew gasped and looked hurt for a moment, causing Y/n to hurriedly finish, “I would really much rather be your girlfriend…”

At her words, the biggest smile she had ever seen spread across Matthew’s face and he quickly leaned in and pressed his lips once again against his. In his excitement,their second kiss was less gentle and a little more clumsy, causing Y/n to hiss.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, pulling back, remembering about her lip.

Giggling, Y/n waved him off and squeezed the hand she was still holding. 

“Don’t worry about it, it was worth it…. I’m just really glad that you were my first kiss.”

Beaming at her again, Matthew said, “You were my first kiss, too!”

Walking past him, she bumped her shoulder into his, before leaving the bathroom. 

“I know… do you have any ice packs?” she asked, disappearing from his view. 

Turning to look at himself in the mirror, Matthew smiled and did a stupid little shimmy of excitement, before heading out after his girlfriend. 

Y/n waited for him to catch up, stopping just under the stairs. When Matthew caught up Y/n leaned forward and gave him another peck. She was never going to get tired of the way his face would blush and the smile it would put on his face. 

From above them Benny and Gray started to laugh and sing, “Matthew and Y/n sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…” Causing both teens to blush and run to the kitchen.

Laughing, Benny turned to his friend and said, “I told you they liked each other.”


	4. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 14 year old Matthew befriends the strange new girl that just moves to town after she stands up to some jocks who are bullying him. Their friendship develops into crushes and as soon as they admit it the reader’s family suddenly moves away. Several years later Matthew is starting his first day of shooting on CM and when he walks into the prop department guess who works there… the reader! They rekindle their friendship. It only gets complicated after Reader offers to help Matthew practice for his very first kissing scene

After everything that happened in the last two weeks, Y/n’s life has been really good. That night with Larry had been the turning point. After calling her mom to let her know what had happened and that they were at Matthew’s, her mother had called the police and had Larry removed from their home. He had been arrested and Y/n and Benny no longer had to live in fear. 

Y/n took a week off of school while her bruises faded, but they allowed her to do most of her work from home so she would not get too far behind. Matthew was a big help, because he offered to bring everything to her and let her even use his notes from class. The only problem was that, when he came over, there was a lot less supervision at her house than his, and they often spent more time sitting across from each other on her bed, kissing, than doing actual work. 

Even though they have only been dating for two weeks, Y/n felt like they would be together forever. She was pretty certain that she loved Matthew. She really hated having to stay home while he went to school. All she wanted to do was walk to classes with him and sit beneath their tree together. Every day that week at three-thirty, she would quickly fix herself up and then sit on the front step and wait for Matthew to walk Benny home. The moment Benny would walk inside and close the door Y/n would launch herself at Matthew and kiss him. She loved kissing him. Even if they were simply closed mouth kisses, which was all either of them were brave enough to do. For the most part their relationship was much of the same it had always been, just with more frequent kissing.

When Y/n’s bruises had faded enough to be hidden beneath makeup, she returned to school. Now when they walked from class to class, they held hands and at lunch they sat closer together beneath their tree. 

Y/n wasn’t sure whose idea it was, certainly not her’s; they went behind the bleachers, where they made out for the last ten minutes of lunch. It was very exciting, that was, until someone ratted them out and they had to go to the principal’s office. Luckily for them, Matthew’s reputation with the school staff was pretty great due to his willingness to always help, and his overwhelming politeness. They were given a warning and were told that the teachers would be watching them.

******

Matthew thought he was going to die! He was so scared they would call his mom. While he was sure she wouldn’t be too mad at him, he knew she would be disappointed. She was also likely to not let him go to Y/n’s after school or let Y/n and him be alone in his room anymore. There was already a new “no bed” rule. A rule that he hated. He really liked it when they would watch a movie at Y/n’s house, and she would put her head in his lap while laying down, allowing him to run his fingers through her hair. She even fell asleep once, and he completely forgot about the movie and just watched her gently snore.

Having Y/n as a girlfriend was better than he could ever imagine. He loved her, without a doubt. He loved her before they had started dating. In fact, he was pretty sure he loved her the moment she saved him from Levi. She had been so happy since Larry was arrested. He never caught her lost in worried thoughts anymore. Her laughter came easier and was lighter. Even her drawings had become brighter and more upbeat. Gone was the familiar tension she used to carry on her shoulders. Also, a lot of the stress of having to protect Benny was gone. 

It was quickly approaching Fall; Matthew’s favorite time of year, and he couldn’t wait to share it with Y/n. It wasn’t even September and he already had some really great couples Halloween costume ideas. Originally, he had planned to suggest they go as Wednesday and Pugsley Addams, but now that they were dating, he felt like Gomez and Morticia would be a bit more fitting. Also, he would love to see her dressed up as Morticia. Just thinking about it made his jean shorts less comfortable to be in. 

Which was something that was becoming a much more frequent problem for him, these days. He couldn’t help it. It would just happen. She didn’t even need to be near him. The other day in math class, he was doing book work when they both happened to look up at the other and all she did was smile and wink at him, and he was hard. He had to close his eyes, and think of things that would will away his erection. He used to never have these problems, and now it was happening 2 to 3 times a day. The worst part was that Y/n always seemed to know. She would give him a smug, knowing smile; completely proud of herself. He sometimes wondered if she did it to him on purpose.

*****

Y/n had gotten the perfect swimsuit. When Matthew suggested last week that she should come over to swim before the weather got too cold, she had asked her mom if they could get a bathing suit being the one she had, she had grown out of. When finding a suit, she had planned on getting a one-piece but a two-piece caught her eye. It looked like it was a suit from the 50’s. The bottoms were navy blue with white polka dots. They were full coverage and high waisted with ruching along the hips. The top was a bright yellow halter top that came up and tied around the back of her neck. It reminded her of something a pin up model might wear and she loved it. She knew Matthew wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off her. 

She had to admit, Matthew’s reactions to her, lately, were very flattering to say the least. She wondered how he would feel if he knew she relatively had the same problem. Especially when they were making out. She would go home and lay down at night, completely restless. She had never considered touching herself until she started dating Matthew. Now she did it almost every night. Sometimes, even when he slipped out to the bathroom to calm himself down, Y/n would shimmy her hand down the front of her pants and try to take the edge off. 

Pulling a pair of shorts and a T-shirt over her swimsuit, Y/n collected her sunscreen and a towel, placing them in a beach bag. She then slipped on her flip flops and waited for Matthew to drop off Gray to play with Benny. They would then walk back to his house and spend the day in the pool. When she heard a knock on the door, she quickly ran to answer it, to find Matthew on the other side, wearing the same Hawaiian button down he was wearing the first day they met and a pair of shark swim trunks.

Giggling, Y/n launched herself at him and hugged him while giving him a hard kiss. Pulling back, she saw a blush spread across his face and knowing why, she bit her bottom lip and winked. 

Clearing his throat, Matthew turned to Gray and said, “I’ll be back around 5. Have fun. If you need anything call, and Mom will let me know.”

His brother waved goodbye and went inside to find his friend and Matthew turned to Y/n, blushing again.

“Oh my god! Seriously,” Y/n said, giggling and shaking her head.

“What?” he asked, acting like he had no idea what she was referring to.

“Oh, you know,” she called him out, closing the door and grabbing his hand. “So, I like the sharks,” she said, teasingly.

“I know, they are awesome,” he said, smiling, choosing to ignore her teasing tone. “I knew you would like them.”

As they walked hand in hand to his house, they chatted about things at school and Matthew’s upcoming plains for Fall.

“So, I was thinking about Halloween costumes. Did you have any idea what you wanted to dress up as this year?” he asked her, excitedly.

Y/n wrinkled up her face and shook her head, “It’s been like two years since I’ve dressed up. I usually just bring Benny. Why? Did you know what you wanted to be?”

Looking equally shocked and saddened by what she just said, Matthew was momentarily speechless. He could never imagine not dressing up for Halloween. It was literally the best holiday ever!

“Wow, that’s so sad. I plan to dress up for Halloween every year until I’m old and dead and even then, I may have them bury me in a costume so I am forever prepared. Imagine if a zombie apocalypse hits, I’ll be the rotten clown chasing people down the deserted road,” he explains, laughing. 

“God, your humor is twisted,” she said, laughing.

“Yeah, but you like it… anyway, I brought it up because I was wondering if you were opposed to a couples costume? I was thinking maybe Gomez and Morticia Addams… that is, if you want to.” Matthew nervously shuffled his feet as they stood on the sidewalk in front of his house, waiting for Y/n’s answer.

She could tell that it meant a lot to him. Who knows, it could really be fun for once? Smiling, Y/n squeezed Matthew’s hand and said, “I would really love too. It sounds really fun.”

Smiling brightly, Matthew grabbed Y/n’s arm and did a scary good impression of Gomez Addams, as he spouted some French and kissed up her arm, causing Y/n to giggle uncontrollably. When he got up to her shoulder, then her neck, she gasped and as he wrapped an arm around her waist and dipped her back, she squealed in surprise. 

“Okay! Okay, I’m gonna fall,” she said, laughing, as Matthew stood her back up and beamed at her.

“Let’s go swimming,” she said, smiling at him adoringly. Taking his hand, they ran through his house and to the backyard where Y/n pulled out her towel and sunscreen. 

“Oh wait! I put a cooler together with drinks. I’ll be right back,” Matthew said running back into the house. 

Smiling to herself, Y/n stripped off her shirt and shorts and put them into her beach bag. Grabbing her sunscreen, she slipped off one of her flip flops and propped her foot on one of the lounge chairs and started to rub the sunblock into her skin. As she worked up her thigh, she heard the sliding glass door open and she bit her lip when she heard Matthew gasp from within the doorway. He stood there, slack jawed and wide eyed.

“You better shut the door before your mom gets on you for letting the cool air out,” she said, pulling him from his stupor. 

Quickly, Matthew shuffled outside and placed the cooler down and slid the door shut. He then turned and took in the sight of his girlfriend applying her sunscreen. He knows he should look away and not blatantly stare, but he had never seen her so beautiful before. With her hair piled on top of her head, save for a couple of strands here and there, and with her curve-hugging bathing suit, she was literally a dream come true.

As she continued rubbing the cream across her stomach, and then her neck, chest, and arms, she stood there, without a word and just watched him watch her. She knew what kind of condition he was in, and it just egged her on. Picking up her bottle of sunblock once more, she walked up to Matthew and held it out to him. When he dazedly took the bottle, Y/n turned and then looked over her shoulder, smiling, “Help me with my back?”

Matthew swallowed hard, and nodded his head, “Yeah, okay…sure,” he said as his shaky hands popped open the cream and squirted some in his palm. Tossing the bottle on the table next to him, he then rubbed his hands together before hesitantly applying it to her back and shoulders.  
He was zoned out in his task when she startled him with a question.

“Do you like my new swimsuit?”

Matthew tried to answer, but his voice cracked so he cleared his throat and tried again, “Yes… yes it’s very nice. It looks really good on you.”

Pulling away and turning around, Y/n grabbed the bottle again and said, “Awww, thank you, Gube. Now, your turn. Take your shirt off and turn around for me.”

His eyes grew comically in size as he stepped back, “WHAT! Oh, no I’m good. I was just going to leave the shirt on anyway.”

Pouting, Y/n said, “You sure, I mean when else are you going to get me to rub you down?” she asked, innocently, smiling up at him.

“Jesus, Y/n! I… I’m getting in the pool,” Matthew said, almost panicking to get his sandals off and running to the pool, where he quickly dived in. 

Shrugging her shoulders, Y/n tossed the sunblock back on the table and slowly walked to the edge of the pool and sat down. As she came closer, Matthew moved further away, and she knew why. Smiling, she slipped into the water and swam towards her boyfriend, who was trying to swim even further away from her. But soon, she was able to trap him in the corner.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she looked up at him and asked, “Why are you running away from me?”

Swallowing, he said, “Not running… swimming.”

“Ok… then why are you swimming away from me? Is it because of this?” she asked, quickly wrapping her legs around his waist, bringing her body up against his erection.

Matthew gasped and closed his eyes while his hands found Y/n’s bare waist. Taking a deep, shaky breath, Matthew opened his eyes again to see a look of complete adoration on Y/n’s face.

“Are you trying to torture me?” he asked, his arms tightening around her waist, pulling her core more firmly against him, causing her to gasp. Matthew’s eyebrow lifted at that. Never had she shown any signs, other than blushing, that he could have the same effect on her as she did on him. He liked it.

Leaning in, Y/n connected her mouth to his, slightly opening her mouth more than she usually does. As she tried to coax Matthew’s mouth open as well, they had somehow spun around, and she was now between Matthew and the wall of the pool. The feeling of him against her was now intense, and she slightly wiggled her hips as she whined against his mouth, causing him to gasp. Taking the opportunity, Y/n tested the waters by passing her tongue along his bottom lip.

Matthew quickly jerked back at the feel of her tongue. He didn’t dislike it; he was just shocked by her bold move. She was staring at him, breathing hard when she reached for one of his hands and placed it on one of her breasts. Drawing in a shaky breath, his eyes left hers as he looked down at his hand. Her breast was soft under his hand and when he gently squeezed it, Y/n moaned, and his eyes traveled back up to her face. Her eyes were half open and she was biting her bottom lip. Swallowing, he switched to her other breast and repeated the same action, before calling out her name and quietly asking, “Y/n… are you sure this is okay?”

She nodded her head and just as she was about to lean in to kiss him again, they heard Matthew’s sister call down from her window.

“Hey, Dweeb! If Mom saw this, she would send your little girlfriend home, and never let her come back. Maybe you two should cool it!”

Matthew quickly pulled himself from Y/n’s legs and pushed her underwater, before quickly swimming away. When she came back up sputtering and glaring at him, he nervously laughed. “Sorry, I panicked,” he explained, as he heard his sister laughing above them before shutting her window.

Rolling her eyes, Y/n wiped the water from her face and said, “Well that killed the mood.”

“Yeah... probably for the best though. It was getting kinda out of hand.”

“Really? I didn’t mind the hand to be honest.”

Swallowing, Matthew licked his lips and looked away from her, nervously. 

“Yeah, I noticed… I know, that you know, that I sometimes have difficulty controlling the way my body reacts to yours, but do you….do you ever have, like, a girl equivalent?”

Looking at him for a moment, she blushed, before saying, “When we make out or when I know you’re excited… sometimes, I feel this throbbing ache and it can get really slippery.”

“Slippery?”

“Yeah, like wet… anyway, sometimes at night or when you go to the bathroom to cool down…. I… well, I sometimes touch myself to try and make it go away. It doesn’t really work very well. I’m still trying to figure it out. Do you ever…?”

Blushing even brighter than before, Matthew giggled, nervously, before nodding his head, “Um… yeah. A lot more than I used to. That’s for sure.”

Smiling at him, Y/m started to swim in his direction, causing him to raise his hands and back up.

Furrowing her brow, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… it’s just...can we keep it PG? I don’t know if I’m ready for anything else. I always assumed I would wait until I got married, but I’m starting to think that was an uneducated decision…”

“Matthew,” she said gently, as she swam closer to him. When she was right in front of him, she reached for his hand and held it, “We can go as slow as you want. I just want you to make me a promise and it will be a promise I make to you, as well…”

“Yes, anything... what is it?”

“When we do decide to do it… we do it with each other. I really want my first time to be with you. I… I love you,” Y/n said, looking up at him with a vulnerable look in her eyes.

Matthew just cupped her face with both his hands and gently kissed her. Pulling away he said, “It’s a promise. I love you, too.”

Her smile was instantaneous and contagious. The rest of their day went by smoothly, with only gentle kisses stolen here and there. 

*****

As September came, so did cooler weather, and Matthew’s slightly unnatural obsession with Fall. He told her that he started celebrating Halloween around the 15th of September, because one day was not enough. He kept having his mom drag them to pumpkin patches and harvest festivals. The only movies they watched were spooky or Halloween-themed ones. Y/n thought it was really weird at first, but his unwavering enthusiasm started to rub off on her, and before she knew it, she was just as excited and involved in all his fall time festivities.

They had done extensive planning for their costumes for the Halloween dance at school. Y/n had worked out with her mom that she would bring Benny trick or treating this year, so Y/n could attend her first middle school dance. She was so excited for Matthew to see her in her wig and costume. Her mom was going to do her makeup and give her fake red nails so she will be perfect! She also couldn’t wait to see him as Gomez.

It turned out he had already gotten his costume right after they had discussed it at the very beginning of August. So, when he had an unexpected growth spurt, his mother had to let out the hems of his pants and coat sleeves. The waist had to be taken in a bit, as well.

As Matthew got taller, he seemed to be slimming down a bit. And just as Y/n knew it would happen, more girls started to take notice of how handsome he was. They would talk to him more or try to pass him notes in class, but no matter how hard they tried, he politely declined their advances, and would always be sure to make a show of holding Y/n’s hand, or giving her a quick kiss. Y/n knew that Matthew would never be tempted, even by the girls who were prettier than her, which he claimed there were none. 

******

Matthew had no doubt that Y/n was the one. No one had ever made him as happy as she did and every other girl dimmed in comparison. All he saw was her. She was his girl and most of all, his best friend. She was literally his everything. Because of this, he felt like Gomez and Morticia were perfect for them. He often wanted to pepper Y/n with sweet words and passionate kisses, much like Gomez did his wife.

He had found that, since that time in the pool and the promise they made, keeping things PG, like he asked, was proving to be far more difficult. The way they kissed had changed a lot, too. Even though they still didn’t use tongue when they kissed, they were still experimenting. Y/n did this thing where she would capture his bottom lip between hers and suck. It really drove him crazy. He didn’t have anything to compare it to, but something told him she was an amazing kisser and he was totally fine with the idea of her being the only girl he ever kissed.

Keeping his hands to himself when they were alone in her room had become a momentous feat in itself. Last week, while making out, they were laying a respectable distance from each other on her bed, when, without thinking about it, he pulled her closer to him. It wasn’t until she moaned against his mouth that he realized he was practically laying on top of her with one of his knees between her legs. She definitely didn’t mind, but he was a little embarrassed that he got so caught up in what they were doing, that he was essentially dry humping her leg. 

Even worse was when his mom caught them making out in his room. She was sitting on his desk and he was standing between her legs. At first it was just sweet slow kisses and then, it started to pick up. He had noticed earlier that day during science lab, that Y/n had chosen to skip a bra that day and he hadn’t been able to get it off his mind since. So, the moment he decided to make the brave move to slide his hand up her shirt, was the same moment his mom decided to pop her head in his room. To say she was upset would be an understatement. He was no longer allowed to go to her house after school, unless she had proof her mom was home and they were no longer allowed to hang out in his room. He was pretty sure his mom had even called Y/n’s mom, judging by the way she looked at him the next time he saw her. Matthew had never been so embarrassed. He knows it was only a matter of time before his mom pulls him aside to talk to him about sex…which was painful to even think about.

******

Y/n was actually really surprised that her mother was going to let her wear this dress to a school function. Even if it was a Halloween dance. Especially, after the talk they had to have after Matthew’s mom caught them and ratted them out. Now, her mom decided it was time for her to start the pill and watch a video on proper condom application. Something told her that her mom was taking a much more liberal approach to the whole situation and she doubted that’s what his mom was hoping for when she contacted her mother.

Y/n sighed as she spun around in front of the mirror. She had never looked so grown up. Her dress was made of a dark black velvet and lace, and it was very tight with a deep v-neckline. It actually exposed quite a bit of cleavage. The sleeves were form fitting all the way down to her wrists, but had a lace trim that tapered down into tails that flowed down to her knees. The velvet fabric clung to the shape of her waist and hips, and flared just below the knee into a round train of lace and velvet that reached and dragged on the ground.

On top of her head, Y/n wore a pretty decent long black wig. It reached all the way down to her waist line. Just as promised, her mother applied fake nails that she then painted a deep blood red color that was the same as her lipstick. Her mother helped her color in her brows and applied perfect Morticia-esque makeup.

She couldn’t wait until Matthew and his mom picked her up, but she was also very nervous about the dance. It would be the first one she had been to and she didn’t know what to expect. As her nerves over the night started to settle in, Y/n unconsciously began to fidget with the nail on her index finger, when suddenly it popped off. She stared down at her finger in horror.

“MOM!!” she cried out. Matthew should be here at any moment and now she had ruined her whole look! She ran straight into the kitchen where her mom was applying a skeleton face to Benny.

Shoving her hand in front of her mother’s face, Y/n pleaded with her, “Please fix it! He will be here any minute and I have to be perfect!”

Tisking, her mother grabbed her hand, then gave a pointed look, “Okay, come on. We don’t have much time.” Standing, she led Y/n back into the living-room where their nail supply kit was left. Sitting on the couch, her mother quickly went to work, applying a new nail, trimming and filing it. Just as she swiped the first coat of red polish on the newly applied nail, the doorbell rang.

Quickly turning to face the door, Y/n made a panicky face, “Oh god, he’s here and it’s still wet. We are going to be late!”

“Come in!,” Y/n’s mom hollered at Matthew. “Now, turn around and calm down,” she said to her daughter. “You still need another coat and you’re going to smear it all over you if you don’t sit still.”

Turning back to her mom, Y/n took a deep breath as she heard the front door open.

“Hey, sorry I’m running late. I was ready, but one of my nails fell off, and my mom is fixing it really quick. I just need like, 10 more minutes for it to dry,” she explained without turning around to face him. When he didn’t respond, and as her mom put the last coat of paint on her nail, Y/n stood up and turned to face Matthew, who was standing in shock at the entryway to the living room.

She, herself, was left in a smile spread across her face as her boyfriend stood dumbly, slightly slack jawed. Biting her lip, she was just as shocked by his appearance. His hair was sprayed black and slicked back. She had expected to see it like that, because he had told her that’s how it would be, but she was not prepared for how good it would look. He had a silly little pencil mustache drawn on his face with what appeared to be sharpie, causing her to giggle. Matthew was wearing a black and white, pin-striped suit with a dress shirt and tie. He also had a cane and fake cigar to top off his look. Y/n could not believe how handsome he looked.

“Do you like my dress?” asked, slowly doing a spin for him, before walking closer to him.

Matthew blinked a couple times, before swallowing and nodded quietly, saying, “Whenever I think you can’t get any prettier, you go and surprise me.”

Blushing, Y/n smiled shyly, and ducked her head and said, “You’re looking very handsome yourself.” 

“You definitely are the better looking one between the two of us, though,” he said, holding his hand out to her, “Ready to go?”

Taking his hand, she nodded her head and they started for the door, when Y/n’s mom stopped them.

“Hold on, you two! I need you to stand in front of the fireplace. We need to commemorate your first dance with a photo,” she said. When she saw how far they were standing from each other, she rolled her eyes and said, “Come on get in close and smile. Now give me your best Addams pose!” her mom took several photos, while giving silly directions.

“Oh my god, Mom! That’s enough. We are going to be late,” Y/n whined, as they headed for the door. Right before walking out, she turned to Matthew and said, “it’s like she thinks we are models or something.”

Laughing, Matthew replied, “Yeah, us...models… that’ll never happen!” 

As they walked to his mom’s car, Matthew glanced over to Y/n and said, “You really are beautiful tonight. I have a surprise for you. At some point we are going to have to sneak out of the dance so I can show you.”

Raising a questioning eyebrow at him, she slowly smiled, “A surprise? What kind of surprise?”

“Well, I’m not going to tell, because then it wouldn’t be a surprise,” he said, chuckling, as he opened the car door for her. 

Y/n rolled her eyes at him before lowering herself into the car with some difficulty, due to how tight the dress was around her legs.

Looking back at her son’s girlfriend, Marilyn was shocked to see the costume she was being allowed to leave the house in. While she thought Y/n looked very beautiful, she sometimes wondered about some of the parental decisions being made by the girl’s mother. When she had called, concerned about the speed at which their children were moving romantically, Y/n’s mother didn’t seem all that concerned. She had reacted like she had just told her there was a sale on produce at the grocery store. Simply saying that she would talk to Y/n and make sure she understood the possible consequences of an adult relationship. It was then that his mom decided to put an end to him going to Y/n’s house after school and stopped allowing them to be alone in his room. Clearly, the “no bed” rule didn’t mean much, seeing as they just found the next available surface. 

It's not that she didn’t like Y/n. In fact, she liked her a lot. She could see how much her son liked her, and that’s what worried her. She would not be surprised if they dated through high school and college. She could honestly see them together for a very long time. She just didn’t want them to make a mistake that could ruin both their lives. It was time to have a talk with Matthew.

******

Matthew’s nerves were getting to him by the time they pulled up to the school. As he opened his door, he could hear the music already playing in the gym. Walking around the car, he opened Y/n’s door and helped her get her legs out first, and then pulled her up to a standing position. She was giggling and mumbling something about knowing what a mermaid felt like, when he popped his head back in the car to tell his mom goodbye. 

“Thanks for the ride! I love you, Mom. The dance will be done at 8,” he said quickly, before slipping out of the car, only to stop when his mother called his name.

“Be smart honey, don’t do anything you might regret later. After the dance, we are going to have to talk. It's nothing to worry about. Have fun… but not too much fun. I love you and I’ll see you at 8.”

Making a confused face, Matthew said, “Umm… okay, bye.” Shutting the door, he stepped back onto the curb and gave his mom a closed-mouth smile and an awkward wave goodbye. When she pulled away, he dropped his hand and let his head fall back as he groaned.

Giggling at her boyfriend’s dramatic display, Y/n placed her hand on his arm and started to drag him towards the school’s entrance.

“She said ‘we need to talk.’ I think it was your dress. I mean, I knew it was coming after the whole bedroom thing, but still…” Matthew whined, before groaning again.

“If it makes you feel any better, my mom had a talk with me, too,” she told him as they handed their tickets to some of their peers at a table just inside the doors.

“Really? Was it horrible?” he asked, as they headed down the hall.

“No, she just told me that she made me an appointment to get on the pill and wants me to watch a video on how to put on a condom. She said she would like us to wait as long as possible, but if something does happen, to be safe and smart,” Y/n said, shrugging her shoulders. She stopped and turned when she realized she had passed Matthew, who had stopped walking and was staring at her with shock. Rolling her eyes, she walked back over to him grabbing his arm and pulled him down the hall towards the music. 

“You’re telling me your mom isn’t freaking out? She is all ‘whatever happens, happens?’” he asked, still shocked.

“Pretty much. She just wants us to be careful. I also think she knows that if she tells me ‘no,’ I’ll then definitely go out and do it,” she explained, shrugging her shoulders.

“Well, I can tell you now my mom isn’t going to be that chill,” he said, holding the gym door open for her. 

Smiling at him, she slipped into the darkened room and held her hand out to him as he entered behind her.

Standing hand in hand, they looked around the room with amazement. The gym was now decorated in Halloween décor. At the far end of the gym, there was a table with refreshments and snacks. In the other corner, there was a DJ table, which was currently playing “Monster Mash.” The dance floor was mostly empty and the boys and girls were on separate sides of the room. 

Squeezing her hand, Matthew started to drag her towards the refreshments table, “Let’s get a drink first,” he hollered over the music.

While standing at the table, waiting for Matthew to hand her her drink, she looked around again, and noticed that there were a lot of eyes on them… on her. Maybe her dress was a little too much for a middle school dance, she thought, worrying her lip.

Turning to see Y/n’s expression, Matthew furrowed his brows, “What’s wrong?” he asked, handing her a cup.

“A lot of people are staring at us. I think I probably shouldn’t have worn this dress,” she said, anxiously, only to be shocked by Matthew’s laughter.

“Trust me here, they’d still be staring, even if you hadn’t. I know I would be,” he said, wagging his eyebrows at her. “They’re looking because you’re beautiful and they are just jealous,” he said, before sipping his drink.

Blushing at his sweet words, she smiled at him and took a sip of her own drink. They stood there silently drinking their drinks and swaying to the music. Looking over at Matthew, Y/n asked, “Do you want to dance?”

Matthew’s eyes grew large and fearful, causing Y/n to giggle, “Who cares what they think! I love the way you dance. That’s all that matters. You should just be yourself and not worry about all of them. If they don’t like it then that’s their loss because you’re wonderful,” she said, sliding her arms around her boyfriend’s neck.

Smiling down at Y/n, he realized she was right. Who cares what they all thought of him? They were never interested in being his friend. Her opinion was the only one that mattered. And if she liked how he danced and wanted him to dance with her, he was not about to let her down. Looking around quickly, to make sure no teachers were looking, Matthew quickly bent to give Y/n a kiss, before pulling her out onto the floor. 

It was the beginning of a wonderful night of dancing and laughter. Halfway through the dance, the teachers announced that there would be a contest for best costume and that everyone had thirty minutes to write down their vote and place it in the box on the refreshments table. 

Matthew and Y/n decided to vote for themselves and wrote down their names and placed their votes in the box, before returning to the dance floor. They had gotten several compliments on their costumes, especially Y/n. Many of the other boys were coming up to her and asking if she would dance with them, or just rudely inserting themselves between Matthew and herself. Every time, Y/n would politely decline, and for the ruder boys, she would simply move away from them and grab Matthew’s hand and move to another area of the dance floor. 

It was getting closer to the end of the dance, and Matthew had realized they had yet to dance to a slow song. He really wanted to be able to dance up close to Y/n, but every time one started she would say it was a perfect time to take a break and get a drink, or something to eat. He also realized they had yet to sneak out, so he could show her his surprise. So, when one of his favorite songs, “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls, started to play, he grabbed Y/n’s hand and pulled her to the middle of the dance floor and quickly wrapped his arms around her waist.

Y/n was so nervous, she had never slow danced before and wasn’t sure if she would know how. She had done a pretty good job of avoiding it all night, but she could tell that every time she made excuses, Matthew would look disappointed. Apparently, he had, surprisingly, decided to take matters into his own hands. 

As he pulled her body close to his, she wrapped her arms around his neck and looked up at him. The song he chose for them to dance to was oddly fitting. It’s pretty much how Y/n had felt about him since moving to Las Vegas. She smiled softly at him when he reached up to brush some of the rebel strands of wig hair out of her face. 

“I love you,” he said simply, smiling back at her. It was the first time either of them had said it since the pool. 

Y/n swallowed as she blushed and said, “ I love you, too.” His smile grew bigger and he blushed as well. Y/n then laid her head on his shoulder, as she twisted the hair at the back of his neck around her fingers. They had stayed happy like that through “Iris” and into the next slow song, when a teacher came up to them and tapped them on the shoulders.

“Excuse me kids, I’m gonna need to see a three book distance between your bodies. This isn’t MTV Grind!”

Rolling their eyes, Matthew and Y/n put some space between their bodies, and waited for the teacher to move out of sight, before returning to their previous position. 

“Did you want to try and sneak out now? I still haven’t shown you my surprise,” Matthew mumbled into her hair, as he rested his chin on the top of her head. 

“Sure, what’s the plan? I’m pretty sure once we leave, we won’t be able to get back in,” she said, pulling back to look up at him.

“That’s fine. The dance is almost over anyway and I would really like to spend some time with you, away from everyone else, before my mom picks us up. We haven’t had a lot of time lately.”

“Well, whose fault is that, Mr. Cop-A-Feel? Maybe, next time, you think about putting your hand up a girl’s shirt, you’ll remember this,” she teased giggling. 

“Shut up, it isn’t funny! I’m going to have to have years of therapy to get over that. Also, yours is the only shirt my hand will ever be going up,” he promised.

Still laughing, Y/n suggested, “I think we should leave the gym one at a time, like we are going to the restroom. Then just walk out the front door. I didn’t see any teachers there when we came in.”

Giving her a quick peck, he gave her a gentle shove and said, “You go first, I’ll wait five minutes and then I’ll be right behind you.”

Y/n quickly scurried out the gym, pausing at the door to wave at him before slipping out into the hall. Matthew nervously made his why to the wall near the door and waited for what felt like forever. Once he thought that 5 minutes had passed, he shot out of the gym and into the hall. Once he was out there, he stopped and looked around, trying to locate Y/n. She then popped her head out from around a corner and waved him over to her. Moving quickly to her, she pulled him down another hall and toward the cafeteria. 

“I thought we were going to go out the front door?”

“Plans changed, Mrs. Mac and Mr. Blake replaced the kids from earlier, but there is no one watching the door that leads out from the cafeteria,” she explained.

“Boy, aren’t you a good little girl scout,” he said, chuckling, “this actually works out for the best anyway because your surprise is at our tree.”

Y/n paused and looked at him curiously, before continuing on into the cafeteria and to the door that led outside. Pushing the door open together, they ran out into the night’s cool air. 

As they approached their tree, Matthew stood in front of Y/n, blocking her view of the tree. Grabbing both of her hands and walking backwards he said, “Close your eyes.” When she complied, he led her the rest of the way and moved her around to the back of the tree. 

“So, last night after dinner, my mom had to go to the office to get something and I decided to take the opportunity to ride my bike up here, so I could surprise you tonight. Open your eyes…”

Y/n did as he asked, and what she saw brought tears to her eyes. Nestled within a heart, Matthew had carved their initials. It was the corniest and sweetest thing anyone had done for her. Turning towards him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down into one of their most passionate kisses, yet. Pulling away, she went to sit down, causing Matthew to laugh.

“Once you’re down there, you will never be able to get back up. Plus, you will ruin your dress.”

“I don’t care, it’s not like it’s something I’m going to be able to wear after tonight,” she said, trying to squat before just letting herself drop down onto the grown. As hot as it may make her, this dress was really starting to get on her nerves. “Stop laughing and get down here,” she demanded grumpily.

Hearing her sass him, only made him laugh harder, as he sat next to her. “Please, do tell, my lady, how can I turn that frown upside down?”

Y/n laid down on the grass and said, “Well, for starters, you can come down here and kiss me some more.”

Smiling, Matthew leaned back onto his elbow and hovered his body over hers and said, “Gladly,” before leaning down and covering her lips with his own. The night turned out to be one of the best of his life. He even finally got his hand down the bodice of her dress without his mother walking in on them.

Little did they know, as they made out, beneath their tree, Y/n was chosen for best costume. But, since she was nowhere to be found, the prize went to another girl, dressed as Sailor Moon.

******

In the weeks following the Halloween dance, finding time to be alone was getting more difficult. Especially after Y/n got into his mother’s car with grass in her wig and dirt clinging to the velvet material of the back of her dress, the night of the dance. Not to mention the excruciating sex talk Matthew shared with his mom when they got home. She literally watched them like a hawk. 

To say the least, they were both getting very frustrated with the situation. To the point where Matthew had started to consider sneaking out to see Y/n alone. He had even joked about it with her to test the waters. They had even started sneaking in small makeout sessions at school. Even after getting caught that one time. At this point, Matthew had decided it was worth the risk. 

As Thanksgiving break was fast approaching, Y/n was feeling the stress of not being able to spend the day with Matthew. She would miss their lunch time routine and the stolen kisses throughout the day. Matthew had joked about sneaking out one night and crawling through her window just so they could be together. She wasn’t sure what he meant by together, but she had a feeling he didn’t mean making out. Ever since Halloween, they had transitioned from a PG relationship to something a little more PG-13. Sometimes, it even sat on the fence of R. It was almost as if the limits placed on them by this mother only pushed him further. 

All Y/n knew was that she was pretty much down for whatever he wanted to do. She knew that they were probably too young to be considering what she knew they were both considering, but she felt like they were at that point in their relationship where it was only natural to let it happen. Maybe they were being stupid to rush into things, but she was just tired of waiting. She loved Matthew and didn’t see that changing anytime soon. 

*******

Fall break was just as torturous as they had both feared. At the last minute, after receiving a mysterious phone call, her mother decided that they would go to their aunt’s house in Colorado, for Thanksgiving. While it was nice to see her family, she missed Matthew terribly. 

They did get to speak on the phone, but it wasn’t quite the same. The only plus side was he could talk in his room so they could talk about things they normally couldn’t under the watchful eye of his mother. In fact, to Y/n’s surprise, Matthew had suggested that on their first day back to school, they should play hooky after dropping off Benny, and find somewhere to hang out and finally be alone. Matthew was never this daring, or rebellious against his mother. It definitely made Y/n wonder if she was turning out to be a bad influence on her boyfriend, and maybe his mother’s concern was justified. It was only a fleeting thought though, and she quickly agreed to his plan.

The anticipation to get home was almost too much for Y/n to bear. But even with all her excitement, she had noticed that something seemed to be bothering her mother. She and her Aunt kept having hushed conversations behind closed doors and her mother seemed to be agitated and jumpy. The closer it got to going home, the more anxious her mother seemed to become.

The day before they were going to be home, Y/n was sitting at the kitchen table, drawing a picture of Matthew from memory, when her mother came into the room to make Benny some lunch. Looking up, she noticed that her mom’s face and eyes were puffy and red as though she had been crying.

“Mom? Is… is something going on? You’ve seemed really upset about something and the random family vacation definitely was sudden and weird. You and Aunt Linda are always whispering and it's kinda creepy.”

Sighing, her mother stopped what she was doing and leaned on the kitchen counter. Y/n saw her mother’s shoulders sag, before rubbing her face with her hands.

“Mom,” Y/n asked again. Her mother’s silence was starting to worry her.

“I was hoping to not have to tell you this, because I didn’t want you to worry. Both you and your brother have been so happy the last three months.”

“What didn’t you want to tell me?” she asked, nervously. She had a feeling she knew what her mother was about to say and she was honestly terrified. 

Sighing once again, her mother said what she feared most, “Larry has been released from jail. He called me the other day, saying he wanted to come home. That he hasn’t been able to drink and that he didn’t plan to start.”

Y/n closed her eyes as she got a sinking feeling in her stomach, “What did you tell him?” she asked, holding her breath for her mother’s response. 

“I told him no, of course,” her mother said, walking quickly across the room to comfort her clearly scared daughter. “I will never let him near either of you again. Especially you, Y/n. We came here just to put a little distance between him and us for a little while.”

Releasing the breath, she was holding, she hugged her mother harder. She did feel a little relieved, hearing her mother say that, but part of her felt like there might be more she isn’t telling her. For now though, she would let it go. 

******

Matthew was so excited to see Y/n as he bounced on his front door step. When they came around the corner he couldn’t get to her quick enough. Grabbing her by the waist, he spun her around, then plopped her back down on her feet and kissed her soundly. Benny, next to them, was making gagging noises, causing Y/n to pull away and give him a playful shove before lacing her fingers with Matthew’s and continuing their walk to school.

Little did they know there was someone watching from afar.

As they got to Benny’s school, Matthew squeezed Y/n’s hand and winked at her, before she walked Benny up the school steps and said goodbye. He was excited to spend the day with her. They haven’t really been alone, unsupervised, since the dance and he couldn’t wait. He was also very nervous that they would get caught. He had talked his sister into pretending to be their moms, and putting on voices to call them both in sick today. It seemed to work or at least, he hoped it did because he had to give her twenty dollars of the money he had been saving. 

When Y/n had rejoined him, he smiled at her and asked, “Are you ready? I thought we would walk to the mall, and maybe see a movie. I definitely want to get in the photo booth. I think that would be fun. Then maybe we could walk to the park...” he rambled on, excitedly. 

Y/n smiled at him. He was so cute when he got excited like this. 

“Those all sound like awesome plans. We just have to remember to be back in time to pick up Benny.”

“We will, I promise,” Matthew said, as they started to walk towards the mall. 

They had been walking for about ten to fifteen minutes, when Matthew noticed how quiet Y/n was being. She also kept looking over her shoulder like she expected to see someone behind them. The last time he had seen her this tense was before Larry had gone to jail. Something then clicked in his head. 

“When did he get out? He isn’t back at the house, is he?”

“What?”

“When was Larry released?”

Sighing, Y/n ran her hand through her hair and said, “I’m sorry, I was really trying to not let it ruin our day! He got out at the beginning of break, which is why my mom rushed us off to Colorado for a week and a half. Apparently, he called and asked to come back, but got upset when she said no. I don’t know, she really won’t tell me much. I just feel like someone is watching me all the time now. I’m sure it's just nerves.”

“You haven’t seen him around have you?”

“No. I’m just a little paranoid. That’s all. Let’s not let it get in the way of the day. I’ve really been looking forward to it! I promise. I’ll push it all to the back of my mind,” she said smiling at him.

He returned the smile and threw his arm over her shoulder, kissing Y/n on the cheek as they continued their walk to the mall. When they got there, they decided to go see The Faculty, but they didn’t really get to see much of it, as they spent most of the movie in the back row, making out. When the movie was over, they stopped for some ice cream and then found the photo booth. They did two rounds, so they both could have a strip of goofy pictures. They kissed, laughed, and made goofy faces for the camera. It was a great idea. Afterwards, they just walked through the mall hand and hand. They popped into a store here and there just to browse. It was turning out to be a wonderful day. 

Neither of them noticed that they had an audience most of the day. Larry has followed behind them in the mall, only getting angrier as the hours passed by.

Around 1:30, Matthew and Y/n decided that it would be a good time to head to the park. Once there, they sat in the shade and listened to music while they drew. Eventually, however, they started to make out. Y/n had crawled into Matthew’s lap, with a leg on either side of his. As she started to kiss down the side of his neck, Matthew tightened his grip on her hips before cupping the back of her head with one of his hands. As she pulled back and went to kiss his mouth again, Matthew saw over her shoulder, a truck that looked kind of familiar. He was so deep in a haze from Y/n’s touch, that it took him a minute to realize where he knew the truck from. 

It was Larry’s.

Pulling back abruptly, Matthew said, “We should go. It’s almost time to pick up Benny.”

Looking at her watch confused, she said, “We still have an hour. It will only take 15 minutes to get there.” She then tried to lean back into the kiss, only to be stopped by Matthew.

“No, we really need to go.” He didn’t want to alarm her by drawing her attention to the truck, because he didn’t want her to be scared. But, she was now looking at him in a way that told him he would have to come up with something, and quick.

“Why are you acting weird?”

“I’m not…”

“Yes you are.”

“It’s just that…. That this is getting really intense and we are in the middle of the park in broad daylight,” he explained. It was really the truth. He honestly did mind what they’d been doing, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

Pouting, she said, “Oh… ok. Well, if you want to go… I guess we can. It’s just--it’s gonna be awhile before we get a moment alone like this again.”

Matthew signed, knowing that she was right, but he had to get her way from here. “I just think it would be best if we don’t wait until the last minute to leave.”

Y/n stared at Matthew a moment. She was sure there was something else that was bothering him, but she shrugged her shoulders and said, “Ok, let's pack up,” and she slipped off his lap and collected her things.

Matthew let out a sigh of relief and just hoped Y/n didn’t notice the truck before they got out of there. He wanted to tell her mom about this, but he didn’t know how without giving away that they played hooky. Maybe he could say he saw Larry following them on the way home. He was also nervous about them going home alone after school. Maybe he should suggest that they come to his house this evening. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice that Y/n was staring at him and was startled when she spoke.

“You’re being really quiet… did I do something wrong?”

“What?” he asked, looking up, surprised.

“Did I do something to upset you? You’re being really quiet.”

“Y/n, no. You never do anything wrong,” he joked, chuckling, trying to make her feel better . “I just have something on my mind, beautiful. Nothing for you to worry about,” he said smiling lovingly at her. 

Feeling a little better, Y/n smiled back and then stood up and put her hand out to help Matthew up. When he was standing, he helped her slip on her backpack and then put on his own. Taking his hand. they started walking through the field and toward Benny’s school. 

As they walked, the joke Matthew had made about sneaking out to see her popped into her head. 

“Did you mean it?” she asked, forgetting that he couldn’t read her mind.

“Did I mean what?”

“That you want to sneak out to see me sometime… or was it really a joke?”

Matthew laughed nervously, “Well, I may have been trying to see how you would respond to the idea… why? Do you want me to?”

Y/n hummed, not sure how to say what she wanted to. So she decided to ask him what he wanted.

“Let’s say I did, what would you want to do?”

She could see him starting to get nervous next to her. Then he stopped and stood in front of her.

“I know what I want to do, but I’m not sure if it's what you want…”

Blushing, Y/n smiled. 

“Well, if we are talking about what I think we are talking about, then yes, I want that too… I think we’ve reached that point,” she said, looking down as she shuffled her foot in the dirt.

“Are you sure? It’s kinda a big deal…”

Looking up, Y/n locked her eyes with Matthew’s and said, “One hundred percent!”

Matthew stares at her, looking for any sign of hesitation and when he doesn't see any, a goofy smile slides across his face.

“So when are we gonna you know…. Do it?”

Giggling at him, Y/n started to walk again. When he had caught up with her she said, “The night after tomorrow… my mom works a graveyard shift. It’s just going to be me and Benny at the house. Do you think you will be able to get out of your house without your mom hearing?”

“I can’t believe we are really going to do this… I think so. My mom is a really hard sleeper.”

As they approached the Elementary school, Y/n playfully bumped her shoulder into Matthew’s and smiled up at him. She was so excited about their plan. It was the next step in their relationship and she couldn’t wait to share it with him.

“Hey, you and Benny should come to my house after we pick him up. I know your mom is at work and I just think it would be safe, what with Larry being out and everything.”

Y/n smiled at her sweet and thoughtful boyfriend, and agreed.

******

After showering, Y/n got dressed and crawled into bed. As she pulled her covers over her body, she thought about the day. It was probably one of the best of her life. Pulling out the strip of photos they had taken at the mall, she smiled to herself. She can’t believe that she had ever thought she could push him away. She was so happy she had let Matthew into her life. Y/n never planned to let him go. Kissing his photo she tucked it back under her pillow and closed her eyes and thought about their plan. She just wished it could happen sooner.

As she dozed off, she was unaware of the other plans of the man outside her home.

******

Y/n’s mom was asleep in her room when she was awoken by a thudding noise. Groggily, she looked over at her bedside clock, and saw it was 2:37 am. Hearing the sound again, she shot up in her bed, now fully awake. Reaching into her bedside table, she pulled out her new handgun she had gotten while she was in Colorado. She never planned to use it. Her sister had suggested she got it just for some well-being. She wasn't even very comfortable with the idea, but now, she was glad she had it. She just had a gut feeling the sound was not coming from her children.

Quietly, she slipped out of bed and through her bedroom door. As she made her way down the hall, she peered into Benny’s open door and found him sound asleep. Letting out a shaky breath, she tried to calm her heart beat as she moved further down the hall. When she saw that Y/n’s door was ajar, her heart stopped. Her daughter never left her door open at night.

Taking a steadying breath, she removed the safety from her gun and pushed Y/n’s door further open. When she saw Larry standing over her daughter with her covers pulled down to the foot of the bed, she had to fight the urge to pull the trigger. 

“What are you doing in my home? In my daughter’s room? You have two seconds to get out before I shoot you and call the cops,” she said, lowly, in an angry tight voice. She did not want to wake Y/n, because she did not want her to have to live with the memory of this man leaning over her while she slept.

Spinning around startled, Larry stared at the gun in shock. Slowly with his hands up, he walked towards his wife, causing her to slowly circle him to place herself between him and her child. 

“Get out,” she said firmly.

Laughing, he leaned in a little and said, “Why are you even protecting the little whore, Helen? Do you even know what she was doing today? She wasn’t at school, that’s for sure. She was dry humping that boy in the middle of the park, like a little bitch in heat.” 

Helen’s hand started to shake as she fought the urge to shoot the disgusting man in front of her. 

“I’ve already called the cops, Larry. Do you really want to stick around until they get here?”

Sneering, he spun and ran down the stairs and out the front door. She didn’t lower the gun until she heard his truck start and drive away. 

Shaking, she replaced the safety and placed it on Y/n’s night stand, before gently pulling her blankets back over her sleeping form. As she was about to turn and leave, she saw something peeking out from under Y/n’s pillow. Pulling it out, a sad smile formed on her face. She knew that come tomorrow, her daughter was going to never forgive her. Gently, she laid the happy smiling photos of her daughter and her boyfriend on the pillow next to her head. 

Picking the gun back up, she made her why to Y/n’ s bedroom door and looked back at her before silently closing the door and heading downstairs to guard the front door in case he returned.

******

The next morning, as Y/n was eating her breakfast, she noticed that her mother seemed really stressed and looked like she hadn’t slept the night before. She also wasn’t ready for work which was weird. 

“Mom, are you feeling ok?”

Her mother turned to her with what looked like tears in her eyes, and she smiled sadly at Y/n.

“Everything is okay, honey, hurry up and eat. I’m driving you and your brother to school this morning.”

Staring at her mom in confusion, Y/n wondered if her mom had found out about her playing hooky the day before and was trying to make sure she actually made it to school.

“But, Matthew is probably already waiting for us.”

Sighing, Helen said, “We will stop and pick him up, too. Just hurry, please. BENNY! YOU NEED TO GET DOWNSTAIRS NOW, YOUNG MAN!”

Feeling better that she would still get to see Matthew before school, Y/n let it go. She didn’t know what was going on, but her mom was clearly in some kind of mood.

*****

Once they were ready and all in the car, they headed down the road and, like she promised, her mom stopped to get Matthew. He was a little confused by the change in routine, but happy that they had stopped to get him. The ride to school was quiet and somewhat tense. Matthew was very aware of the looks her mother kept giving them in the rearview mirror. They almost appeared to be guilty and heartbroken. Which caused an unsettling feeling to form in the pit of his stomach.

******

The school day had gone by pretty normally. They had lunch next period, which was Y/n’s favorite. They had about 20 minutes left of class when the teacher's phone rang. Pausing the lecture, Mr. Perce answered, and looked up at her. Her heart started to race. That couldn’t be good. Turning in her seat she looked at Matthew, who clearly noticed as well, and had a worried look on his face.

As Mr. Perce hung up the phone, he called her name and she spun back around.

“Y/n, pack up your things. Your mother is here to pick you up.”

“Did she say why?”

He made an odd face and said, “Something about a family emergency.”

Y/n was now scared. Quickly, she packed her things and turned to look at Matthew again. He looked like he was going to cry. As she got up and walked to the door, she turned and looked at him one last time and held his gaze. She then turned and left the classroom.

******

Matthew didn’t know why, but he knew that that was going to be the last time he saw his girlfriend.

******

When Y/n got to her mother’s car, she saw Benny in the backseat and he was crying. Quickly, she slipped into the front seat.

“What’s going on? Why is Benny crying and why did you pull us from school?”

Her mother didn’t say anything. She just started the car and quickly pulled out of the school parking lot and started to drive towards their home. 

“When we get inside, I need you both to go upstairs and grab anything that you need or anything that is very important to you. The rest we will get sent to us when we figure out where we are going.”

“WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN WE FIGURE OUT WHERE WE ARE GOING?!” Y/n was now panicking.

“Don’t do this Y/n, I’m doing what I need to do to keep you safe. Please, just do as I tell you and don’t make this harder than it is. I’m so sorry, honey. I know you’re happy here and that you will miss Matthew, but there will be other boys. I promise.”

“NO THERE WILL NOT! I DON’T WANT OTHER BOYS!”

“Y/N THAT IS ENOUGH!”

Y/n turned in her seat and started to cry. She hated her mother. She would never forgive her for this.

As they pulled into the driveway, Helen tried to reach over and put her hand on Y/n’s. 

“I’m sorry I yelled and I’m sorry we have to leave.”

Y/n yanked her hand away from her mother’s and bolted out of the car. Once inside the house, she ran upstairs and stood in her room. Looking around, she broke out in tears again and quickly started to gather clothes and anything that reminded her of Matthew. She packed the pictures from the day before along with one of the ugly Hawaiian button ups that he gave her. She grabbed her sketchbooks that he had doodled in and a framed picture from the night of the Halloween dance. She had planned to give it to him for Christmas. Now she realized that she would not be able to do that. 

Walking over to where she had dropped her backpack, she pulled out her sketchbook and flipped to the drawing she made of him in Colorado and ripped it out. Quickly she wrote him a note:

I’m sorry. I’ll always love you! We will see each other again someday. Please don’t forget me! I’ll never forget you! You are my world and this is going to kill me. I love you! 

Y/n then signed it and folded it up, tucking it into the edge of the frame.

Standing, Y/n quickly looked over her room once more to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything and then walked out of her room for the last time. When she made it back downstairs, she dropped her bag on the ground and looked over at Benny who was sitting quietly on the couch staring into space. Her mom then rushed into the room.

“Did you get everything you needed?”

“Yes,” Y/n clipped back. “Before we leave, can we stop at Matthew’s, so I can leave something on his doorstep for him?”

Her mother was quiet for a moment and then nodded her head yes.

“Come kids, let's get in the car. We have a long drive.”

They all collected their things and headed out the door and loaded the car before driving off down the road.

As promised, her mother stopped at Matthew’s and Y/n got out and walked up to his front door. She stood there for a moment, and then gently placed that framed photo and her drawing on his doorstep.

When she returned to the car, she chose to climb into the backseat with her brother instead of the front. She didn’t want to be near her mother. As they pulled away, silent tears rolled down her cheeks as she felt her little brother reach over and wrap his warm hand gently around hers.


	5. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 14 year old Matthew befriends the strange new girl that just moves to town after she stands up to some jocks who are bullying him. Their friendship develops into crushes and as soon as they admit it the reader’s family suddenly moves away. Several years later Matthew is starting his first day of shooting on CM and when he walks into the prop department guess who works there… the reader! They rekindle their friendship. It only gets complicated after Reader offers to help Matthew practice for his very first kissing scene.

Matthew was so excited and a little bit nervous. Acting wasn’t exactly what he came to LA to do, but he was down to do it if it eventually led to directing. All in all, he was actually pretty lucky. He hadn’t been in town very long before getting the part of Spencer Reid. Which he wasn’t even sure he was going to get. They had called him back several times just to tell him he wasn’t right for the part.

After receiving the news that they wanted him for the new CBS crime drama, everything moved along rather quickly. He signed a contract and before he knew it, they were filming the pilot. All his cast members turned out to be pretty awesome. When the network decided to pick up the show, he was through the roof with excitement.

Today was the first real day of filming. Having arrived at the set at around 5:30 a.m., Matthew had already been shown his trailer, and been to both the wardrobe department and makeup. He was a little disappointed that they made him cut his nails and covered the dark circles under his eyes. He thought that the tired, disheveled look would suit the genius well. 

After leaving makeup, he was instructed to head over to the props department to get his gun, holster, badge and bag. The set was so big, he had gotten turned around at first, but once he found it, he slipped into the room. The room was large and consisted of wall to wall shelving containing miscellaneous items of all kinds. It was almost like a library of stuff.

Walking further into the room, Matthew couldn’t seem to find anyone. Calling out, he got no response, but he did hear some shuffling coming from the back of the room. Right as he was about to head in the direction of the sound, Shemar came up behind him and slapped him on the back. 

“A.J. said that the assistant props girl likes to listen to her ear buds. It’s hard to get her attention… I heard she’s cute though,” Shemar said, chuckling and wiggling his eyebrows.

Matthew shook his head as he laughed at his costar’s antics, and followed him further back into the props room.

As they got closer, Matthew could hear her singing lowly and he stopped in his tracks… it had been a long time, but he knew that voice. No, it couldn’t be, what we’re the chances. Shaking off the odd feeling, Matthew caught up to Shemar, only to be floored when she came into sight.

It was her. He couldn’t see her face because she had her back to him as she swayed to her music; but, he knew it was her. He knew that green army jacket anywhere. His hands started to shake and his heart was banging against his rib cage. He was sweating and it felt like he couldn’t breathe. He could not move or speak.

What if she didn’t remember him? What if she didn’t recognize him? He had so many different feelings running through him. Excitement, joy, anger… love. What if she didn’t love him anymore?

Shemar, completely unaware of Matthew’s internal conflict and building panic, walked up to the assistant and tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to slightly jump. 

“Hey sweetheart,” he said, as the cute girl removed her earbuds, smiling sexily at her. “Matthew and I need to pick up some of our props. You think…..” he trailed off when she clearly wasn’t hearing him anymore. As soon as he said ‘Matthew,’ she had turned around and all the color drained from her face. Her lip started to wobble and she whispered his costar’s name.

Confused, Shemar looked over at Matthew and raised an eyebrow when he was acting just as odd as her. He was clearly missing something. Taking a step back, he looked back and forth between them and waited for something to happen. She was the first one to move. Mindlessly dropping her earbuds, she quickly started to walk towards Matthew, and stopped right in front of him. She held her hand out like she was going to touch him but never made contact. 

Y/n wanted to touch him. She could read what he was thinking, so many emotions were passing behind his hazel eyes. God, she missed his eyes. She needed him to do something. Say something. She felt like she was going to be sick. She had accepted a long time ago that she would never see him again. She had changed so much. Made too many bad decisions. Too many wrong turns. She had a hard time believing she would be someone he would even want anymore. Gone, was the fun-loving innocent girl from her past. 

Matthew couldn’t take it anymore. He had to feel her against him. Lighting fast, he reached out and pulled her to him and when he felt her arms slid around his now thinner frame, he realized the breath he had been holding in, and tears started to roll down his cheeks as he buried his face in the hair at top of her head.

Realizing that what was playing out in front of him was much more personal than he originally thought, Shemar quietly went back to the room's entrance and gave Matthew and the girl some privacy.

******

They stood together for almost ten minutes, both silent, but neither wanting to let go. They had stopped crying and were now just sniffling.

Matthew released an airy laugh, which warmed Y/n to the depths of her heart. It’s been so long since she heard that sound. 

“I’m going to have to go back to makeup,” he said, jokingly. Reluctantly, he pulled away, looked down at Y/n and smiled to himself. While her body was that of a grown woman now, she really hadn’t grown much taller while he had gained almost a foot in height.

Noticing the amused way he was looking at her, Y/n started to feel a little self-conscious.

“What?’” she asked, smacking him on his chest, causing him to slightly stumble backwards while he chuckled.

“You’re so short,” he said with a lopsided smirk. 

“Maybe I’m not short…. Maybe you’re too tall,” she said with indignation, causing him to laugh again.

His laugh was contagious and she joined in. As they both quieted down, they just stood smiling at each other quietly. Getting lost in the other’s presence.

Y/n was the first to snap back to reality and asked, “So, are you playing an UnSub or something?” 

Matthew scrunched up his face and playful glared at Y/n, causing her eyes to widen and an eyebrow to raise.

“Nope. I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Looking surprised she said, “Oh, okay. So, have you been acting long?” she asked, walking over to a cabinet that looked to be holding props for the main cast. 

“Not really. This is actually my first big part. I actually went to college for directing and also did a bit of modeling,” he said, nonchalantly.

The last part caused Y/n to pause and look over her shoulder with a look of surprise.

“You were a model? Matthew Gubler?”

Laughing, he smiled and nodded his head and said, “Yeah… yeah I was. Weird, right? Oh, and I actually use my middle name now.”

Looking confused she asked, “Matthew Gray?”

Chuckling he shook his head and corrected, “Matthew Gray Gubler.”

“Oh…,” she said, turning back around and pulling out his props. Grabbing a clipboard, she handed it to him, “You have to sign out the gun even though it only shoots blanks.” As he finished signing, she took the clipboard and returned it to the counter. 

Matthew walked up behind Y/n and put his hand on her lower back, causing her to take a deep shaky breath. As she turned, his hand ran along her body and rested on the side of her waist near her hip, once she was facing him. Looking up at him, her lip started to tremble. Matthew lifted his hand up to cup her face as he started to lean in, only for Y/n to pull back her head and gently grab both his hands. At first, he was confused. He thought he had read the moment right. But when she swallowed and refused to look him in the face, he understood. Quickly pulling his hands from her, he stepped back.

“You have a boyfriend.” It wasn’t a question. He didn’t need to ask. He felt like it was a slap in the face. He knew it was silly though. It had been twelve years. Of course, she didn’t keep her promise… even if he did. Matthew was trying to fight tears. He had to get out of there. He knew how ridiculous he was being, but he couldn’t stop it.

Seeing him trying not to crumble in front of her was ripping her heart out. She didn’t know what to do. Surely, he had broken the promise, too. It had been so long. He was gorgeous and had been a fucking model. There was no way. But she had a sinking feeling that he had.

Reaching out for him, she called his name, “Matthew?” When he pulled back from her, he closed his eyes and held them shut. Not knowing what to do, she tried to explain, “it’s been 12 years… I- I never thought we would see each other again.” 

“Yeah… yeah, I know. It’s just…. You know what, I better be getting back to makeup. I'm sorry about trying to kiss you. I’ll see you around,” he said quickly, grabbing his props and making his way out, passing Shemar.

As he walked away from her, she started to shake. Walking over to her purse, Y/n pulled out a flask. Unscrewing the lid, she threw it back and let the burn of the liquid settle her shaken nerves. As she was about to take another swing, she was startled by Shemar.

“Wow, that must've been some kind of conversation. It’s not even 8am,” he said with a nervous chuckle.

Quickly, Y/n recapped her flask and threw it back in her purse. Ignoring his comment, she walked over to the cabinet and without looking at him, asked matter-of-factly, “Who are you playing?”

Raising his eyebrows, Shemar answered her question and signed his name on the clipboard she shoved in his direction. After he was done, she laid his props on the counter and walked away without another word. 

“Okay….,” he said, collecting his things and heading out of the props department. He needed to find Matthew and see what that was all about.

******

Matthew was trying his best to push it all to the back of his mind. He was a little embarrassed about how he reacted, and that he let it cloud the fact that Y/n could be a part of his life again. Even if it wasn’t how it was in the past. She had been his best friend long before she had been his girlfriend and enough years had passed that he should be able to go back to just that. 

Having made up his mind, Matthew decided that he would have to talk to Y/n again. The only problem was that she seemed to be avoiding him. That or they were too busy working. When he wasn’t filming, she was setting the stages for the next scene. When he was filming, she was either headed back to the props department or talking to the props lead and taking notes. Every once in a while, he would feel her eyes on him, but once he got a chance to turn and look, she was either gone or busying herself with the props on her cart. 

It wasn’t until Shemar brought up the morning's interaction that he decided that enough was enough. He decided to approach his costar while he was alone at the food cart getting himself some lunch and asked him if he was okay.

“You seem really distracted. Is it because of this morning with the prop girl?” Shemar asked.

Scrunching his face and giving him an awkward smile, Matthew said, “Her name is Y/n, and yeah, I guess so. That obvious, huh?”

“I mean, I barely know you, man, but yeah. What was that all about anyways? I take it there’s a history there. That was some intense shit.”

Chuckling nervously, Matthew nodded his head and said, “We used to date when we were younger. She was kinda my best friend too. It’s been awhile though. Like 12 years. Her family life was… a little crazy, and one day in the middle of class, her mom pulled her out and that was the last time I saw her. Never heard from her again, until today.”

“Shit, so yeah, I can see how that would have been a little intense then. So… what happened after I left? You both seemed pretty happy when I stepped out, but you ran out of there like your ass was on fire.”

“Yeah, that. I don’t really want to talk about that. No offense. It’s kinda personal, but yeah it got a little awkward.”

“No man, that’s cool, sorry I asked. It’s just, she seemed a little shaken up too. I mean she was… you know what? Nevermind man, it’s not my place to put her on blast, but maybe you should try talking to her again. She has literally been watching you all day.”

Looking at Shemar with confusion, Matthew asked, “What was she doing?”

“Look, I just think, maybe you should talk to her,” Shemar said, grabbing a burrito and then patting him on the back, “good luck man.” His costar then walked away, leaving Matthew to contemplate what Y/n was doing that was so bad that Shemar didn’t want to say.

Forgoing his lunch, Matthew decided he needed to find Y/n. He had to make it right and find out what Shemar had been talking about. He first checked the stages to see if she was setting up, but when he didn’t see her, he headed to the props department. He found her in the back, sitting at a desk sketching and loudly eating a sandwich. He couldn’t help but laugh. Even after all these years, the girl had not learned to chew with her mouth closed. He knew he should find it gross, but to him, it was so endearingly her.

Hearing someone laugh, Y/n quickly looked up to see the overly amused face of Matthew. She couldn’t help but shyly smile back at him before taking another bite of her sandwich.

“What’s so funny?” she asked as she chewed, only making him laugh harder.

“Oh, nothing. I just see that you still eat like a heathen,” he said, teasingly.

Squinting her eyes at him, she opened her mouth showing him her food, and then said, “See food.” She swallowed her food and smiled brightly at him, causing him to chuckle and shake his head.

Walking towards her, he said, “And to think in twelve years, one would mature a little.”

Shrugging her shoulders, she took a sip from her refillable water bottle and slightly flinched before saying, “I’m stunted. So, sue me.” 

Matthew just stared at her with endearing eyes and gave her a gentle smile.

Taking another sip and flinching again, she said, “So… did you come here to criticize my table manners or….”

Clearing his throat and swallowing, Matthew said, “I just wanted to apologize about earlier. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. It was wrong of me to expect you to have waited, or thinking we would just fall back into the relationship we had. A lot of time has passed and honestly, I’m just happy to have you as my best friend again.”

Y/n watched Matthew for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip. 

“What are you doing after work?”

She had thrown him off with her out of the blue question, causing Matthew to stammer before answering her, “I- I guess… go home? Why?”

Popping a piece of gum in her mouth, Y/n stood up and slightly swayed like she was going to lose her balance. Matthew quickly reached across the desk and grabbed her by the elbow to help her steady herself. 

Y/n giggled as she stopped wobbling and said, “Guess I stood up too fast. I’m good now.”

Matthew let go of her elbow and leaned back, giving her a goofy smile.

“Anyway, I was going to suggest we start over. We should go out for drinks tonight. I know this really cute bar. It's small, quiet, and it has karaoke,” Y/n said in an overly cheery voice.

Matthew raised his eyebrows and smiled at Y/n’s super bubbly attitude. It was different, but he kinda liked it. Also, he wouldn’t mind a redo from this morning. Nodding his head, he agreed, “Sure, that sounds really fun.” Matthew then thought of something and realized as much as he would be pained to see it, maybe he should ask if she wanted to invite her boyfriend. At least to show Y/n that he was really okay and wouldn’t be weird about it. 

“So, Y/n… umm, did you want to maybe invite your boyfriend,” he asked, giving Y/n a closed mouth smile while looking at her expectantly with his big brown eyes.

Y/n made a face like she smelled something bad and then shook her head. “No… I don’t think so, but I should probably call him and let him know I won’t be home till really late,” she said, but looked a little nervous near the end.

Picking up on her sudden mood change, Matthew was wondering if she wanted to change her mind.

“If it’s something he wouldn’t be cool with, that’s fine. We don’t have to go if you’ve changed your mind. I would totally understand.”

Y/n rolled her eyes and blew a raspberry with her lips and flapped her hand dismissively in his direction.

“Pbbt… No, we are so going! He will just have to get over it. Anyways, I really want to catch up. It's hard to do at work because there is so much work,” she said, back to her bubbly attitude.

Chuckling, Matthew gave Y/n a funny look. Her mood was all over the place this afternoon. Chalking it off to excitement, Matthew moved around to her side of the desk and asked before he moved closer, “Is it okay if I give you a hug?”

Y/n looked at him like he was stupid and opened her arms to him. He gave her a big smile and encased her in the tightest bear hug. She started to giggle uncontrollably when he lifted her off the ground as she swung her legs back and forth.

“I really can’t wait until tonight,” he said, placing his smiling friend back on her feet. 

“Me too. I’m glad you came to see me. I wanted to talk to you, but I was worried you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Yeah, I was kinda a shit earlier,” he said cringing, “but for future reference… there will never, ever be a time I’ll not want to talk to you!” 

“Noted, and same,” Y/n said, smiling up at Matthew.

“Well, I probably should run. I have to start shooting soon, but I’ll see you later.”

“Most definitely.”

Matthew turned and walked to the door, only to turn and give her a toothy grin and an awkward little wave, causing Y/n to laugh. As he walked out the door, all she could think was how much he just reminded her of his 14-year-old self, and how much it made her heart ache. Picking up her bottle, Y/n took another sip of her vodka and flinched as it burned its way down her throat.

******

The day went by, agonizingly slow. He and Y/n never really got another chance to talk, but they did wave and smile at each other from afar. Sometimes, Y/n would use props to do something stupid and make Matthew burst into full body laughter. 

It also seemed like she tried her hardest to make him laugh while he was filming. She would stand just on the edge of his sight and make funny faces at him. It wasn’t until the second time he lost his cool, that the director realized what was happening and sent her back to the props department. As she slinked out of the studio, she turned and clenched her teeth together, jokingly, and pulled her lips back in a grimace, her face wide with fake fear. Matthew shook his head and laughed again as she disappeared from view. 

“I take it you talked to her?” Shemar asked.

Chuckling, Matthew smiled and nodded his head, “Yeah we’re starting over. We are going out for drinks after work. It should be fun to catch up.”

Shemar gave him a funny look and then asked, “Was drinks your suggestion or her’s?”  
Eyebrows furrowed and with a frown, Matthew ask, “Her’s. Why?” 

Shaking his head, Shemar said, “Nothing, man. Just wondering.”

Matthew was going to press the matter, but the director called places and the scene. Switching into character, he was forced to let it go.

*****

After stopping at his trailer to change out of his filming wardrobe, Matthew quickly jumped into the shower to unstick his hair from all the product they put in it and to wash off all the makeup they put on him to hide his dark circles. Once he was finished, he stopped off at the costume department and dropped off his Spencer uniform, and then headed to the props department to sign his stuff back in and to meet up with Y/n. 

As soon as he walked into the room, he could hear a hushed argument, or at least one side of it. Slowly, he followed Y/n’s agitated voice and found her standing between two shelves toward the back of the room. She had her back to him and was talking on the phone. He hated to eavesdrop, but couldn’t help it. While he couldn’t understand what the person on the other line was saying, he could hear them yelling at Y/n and it kinda pissed him off.

“Look, don't be like that! It’s just one night….. No……I told you he’s an old friend…. Ian, don’t be like this…. I haven’t seen him in twelve years,” she then pulled the phone away from her head and cursed to herself before lifting it back to her ear, “Ian, stop… no… no…. Ian, I’m not planning on fucking him. It's just drinks and catching up…. Wait? What’s that supposed to mean? You know what, I was just calling to give you a heads up, not ask for your permission,” she disconnected the call and turned to leave, but jumped when she saw Matthew standing there, looking concerned.

Trying to brush it off, she walked right by him and headed to the props cabinet. 

Following close behind her, Matthew asks, “Who was that?”

Sighing, she said, “Ian.”

“Yeah, I got that, but who is Ian? Cause he sounds like an asshole.”

Sliding the clipboard across the counter, she held out her hand for his props, and said, “ He is my boyfriend and yes, he can be an asshole.”

As if on cue, her phone started to ring. Putting Matthew’s props away, she pulled out her phone and rolled her eyes and hit the reject button, causing Matthew to quark and eyebrow.

“We don’t have to go out if it’s going to cause problems,” Matthew said, as her phone started to ring again. 

Hitting reject again, she turned her phone off and said, “Nope, no problems. He will get over it. I want to go out. I want to spend the evening together and have some fun. So… you ready?”

Matthew hesitated a moment, and then nodded his head and said, “Yeah, ready when you are.”

Smiling, Y/n grabbed her bag and started walking to the door. As Matthew followed her, she asked, “Can I ride with you? I don’t have a car. I’ll call for a lift later tonight.” 

Nodding his head, they headed out for their evening of drinks and catching up.

******

“Normally I hang out at the bar, but I think a booth would be best for us tonight. It will give us some privacy,” Y/n said, looking over her shoulder at Matthew, as they entered the dimly lit bar.

“Do you come here often?” he asked, sliding into a booth a little ways away from the door. 

“Depends on your definition of often,” Y/n said jokingly, as she waved to the guy behind the bar.

“Well, judging by the wave to the friendly neighborhood bartender, I’m gonna guess that you are at least a regular.”

“No… I mean, yeah… I am. It’s just, I’m friends with Rick. I come here whenever me and Ian need space. He lets me crash on his couch, until Ian let’s me come back,” Y/n casually explained.

Matthew’s pulled together in confusion, and was about to ask Y/n a question, when she suddenly, loudly interrupted him to greet her friend Rick. He had brought over two glasses and a bottle of Jack Daniels, giving him a strange look. He had a feeling Rick didn’t like him.

“Speaking of the devil!” Y/n kneeled on the booth seat, wrapping her arms around Rick, who then put the bottle and the glasses down on the table. 

“Ian being a jerk again?”

Y/n then slid back down into her seat and said, “What? Oh no, I mean, yeah… when is he not? But tonight I’m here to celebrate!” Y/n nudged his leg with her foot underneath the table.

“Rick, this is Matthew. He is one of my oldest friends. He is very near and dear to my heart. This is the first time we have seen each other in twelve years! You can’t believe how excited I am!” 

Rick smiled brightly at her, and then skeptically at him and said, “Jack okay for you or do you need something lighter?”

Matthew’s eyebrow raised as he smirked and chuffed. Rick was clearly trying to imply that because he was skinny, he couldn’t hold his liquor. Well, he was right, but Matthew wasn’t going to let him in on that.

“No, the Jack is perfect. Thank you.”

Turning to Y/n, Rick placed his hands on her shoulder and said, “if you need me for something, you know where to find me.”

With that, he winked at Y/n and she waved goodbye to him and started to busy herself with opening and pouring them drinks. Rick turned to him however, with slightly narrowed eyes and nodded his head in his direction. Matthew just gave him a tight lipped, awkward smile.

“I don’t think your friend likes me.”

Rolling her eyes, she said, “ He will get over it. He can be weary about new people, sometimes. Don’t let it bother you.”

“Oh, okay… So, do you crash on Rick’s couch often? I mean, how often does Ian need space?”

Sliding a glass of whiskey to Matthew, Y/n sighed.. “I mean we have our ups and downs like any couple, but to be honest, I’m kinda a handful. Most of the time, he has good reason to kick me out. I don’t usually listen very well,” she said, with an uncomfortable chuckle, looking down into her drink, feeling uncomfortable talking about it.

Matthew scowled as he thought. What she said just didn’t sit well with him. Especially from what he had already seen and heard about her boyfriend. Humming to himself, he decided to drop it for now though. She clearly didn’t want to talk about it. So he asked her the question he has been wanting the answer to for the last twelve years:

“So…. What happened that day?” he asked, but then clarified when she looked up, confused, “The day you disappeared….”

Their eyes stayed glued to each other for a long moment. They were both thinking about the pain that day had brought them both. 

Breaking eye contact, she threw back the rest of the whiskey in her cup, and quickly refilled it, before saying, “I don’t know all the details. I know it has something to do with me and Larry, though. At first, my mom said I was too young and didn’t want to scare me, but as I got older, I just wasn’t interested anymore. Either way, the damage is done. I don’t talk to her anymore. I do talk to Ben, however. He said I should hear her out… that it would help me understand and forgive her for ruining my life.”

Matthew was shocked at the bitterness he heard in Y/n’s voice when she talked about her mother. 

“So, you don’t talk to her anymore?”

“Not really…I mean, I call when it’s important , like birthdays and holidays, but we don’t go out of our way to talk. Me and Ben talk at least three times a week though… it’s kinda weird. After leaving Vegas, it’s like our roles switched. Instead of me taking care of, and protecting him, he was the one doing it for me. I guess you can say I got really out of control after leaving.”

Matthew sipped his drink. He was finding a lot of what she was telling him to be worrying, and he had a feeling he really wasn’t going to like the answer to his next question.

“Out of control, how?”

She chuckled wearily and looked away from him, finding the rest of the room more interesting. She then smiled at him, but it didn’t reach her eyes and he had a feeling she was stalling while she decided how much she wanted to tell him.

“Umm… you know. The usual teenage rebellion: sneaking out, staying out too late, bad grades, drinking and drugs…. boys,” she said, looking away again at the end. The person slaughtering Bon Jovi’s song, “Living on a Prayer,” was suddenly enthralling to her.

Boys…plural. Okay, that definitely stung a little bit. For some reason, his brain automatically assumed Ian had been it, but he now realizes how foolish of a thought that was. And judging on her refusal to make eye contact, he is guessing that it was quite a few boys. He couldn’t help but wonder how long it took her to break her promise, but honestly, he didn’t really want to know. The more he thought about it, the more foolish he felt. All the opportunities he had to break his... from high school to now, flashed through his mind. Every single time, she popped into his head and he declined. He never once doubted he would see her again… but, he guessed she did. 

As he sat there, staring into his glass as he processed what she just told him, Y/n started talking to him again, pulling him from his thoughts.

“What?” he asked, not hearing her the first time.

Y/n licked her lips, trying to decide if she should repeat her apology. When she had finally looked at him, he was staring down into his drink, looking pained. He hadn’t commented on her ‘boys’ statement, but she was pretty sure it had something to do with his sudden melancholy. She decided it would be best to skirt past it. It would probably also be best if the topic wasn’t on her.

“So, what about you? What have you been up to since I was ripped from you and Vegas?”

Matthew knew that wasn't what she originally said, but again, he let it go. 

“Well, at first I was really nervous. I kept going to your house, hoping you would be there. After about a week, I accepted that you were gone. A week after that, your aunt showed up to deal with the people packing and moving all your things. I talked to her, but she really wouldn’t tell me anything. I just kept waiting for you to call me or text me. To tell me you were okay and where you were… but you never did,” he said a little bitterly, causing Y/n to swallow hard. She emptied her glass and filled her third. Realizing how fast she was going through her drinks, he frowned and was about to comment on it, but she spoke first.

“Well, my mom took our phones. She made us get new ones and got rid of the old ones. I didn’t have your number any more. She didn’t want me contacting you or anyone else, because she thought it would make it easier for Larry to find us.”

Distracted from his previous thought, he nodded his head and said, “I guess that makes sense if he was trying to find you. I never saw him again after the park.”

“The park?” Y/n asked, confused.

“Oh… yeah, I never told you. I didn’t want you to freak out. Do… Do you remember the day before you left? The day we played hooky?”

Blushing, she smiled and looked down, peeking up from below her brow, and said, “How could I forget? It was one of the last happy days of my life. I often think about it when I’m having a bad day. It helps me turn my mood around… at least, at first. Then I get upset because I remember that that was the last time you would ever hold me,” she said with a tight voice before slamming back her third glass. As she reached for the bottle, Matthew wrapped his long fingers around the bottle's neck and snatched it back out of her reach.

Y/n sat there and stared at him in shock. 

“What? Save some for the rest of the class. I’m still on my first glass. Screwing the top off, he poured about three fingers into her glass and added two more into his and placed the bottle in the booth next to him. 

“Anyways… that day in the park. Do you remember me wanting to leave suddenly?”

“Yeah, you mean when you suddenly started acting like a weird little prude?”

Matthew gave a “what the fuck” look before chuckling and shaking his head as he continued, “I wasn’t being a prude! Trust me, I was completely okay with where that was going. When you straddled my lap, I nearly died right there on spot. It’s just that… we had an audience. I saw Larry’s truck behind us and I wanted to get you out of there before he approached us or before you saw him. You were already really freaked out about him.”

Y/n just stared at him a moment and then leaned across the table and kissed Matthew on the cheek.

“Thank you…. For trying to look out for me. You’re probably the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Matthew blushed and looked down, before saying, “You’re definitely one of the best parts of mine. After you left, Levi and his friends started to really lay into me again. It only took three days. It got so bad, my mom actually got me into that art high school. That’s where I studied acting. Things got a little better after that. I then moved to New York and attended Tisch School of Arts and studied directing, which is what I really want to do, someday. Then there is the modeling. So, where did you go to school?”

Y/n burst out laughing and said, “oh, no. Honey, I didn’t go to college. I barely got through high school. Remember how I mentioned the bad grades? I got the job I have now because I’m friends with the head of the props department. Don’t get me wrong though, I had plains for art school at one point, but I really couldn’t afford it.” 

“Oh… well, that’s not really a big deal and maybe someday you will get to go to art school. I mean, people go to college at all ages. I'm glad to know you still draw though. I still do too!”

Smiling at Matthew, Y/n pulled out a sketch book and suggested, “Want to switch, like in the old days?”

Smiling, Matthew pulled his out of his backpack and slid it across the table and took Y/n’s. They sat quietly for several minutes, flipping through each other’s work, occasionally making comments on a piece here or there. 

Matthew was studying a really cool charcoal drawing when he heard Y/n gasp. Looking up, he saw her holding the tattered and faded photo booth strip from their last day together. As she stared at it, tears started to collect in her eyes. Looking up at him, she held it to her chest and gave him a watery smile.

“You carry it with you?”

Giving her a small, shy smile, he said, “Always…”

Placing the photo strip gently back in his journal, Y/n reached into her bag and pulled out her clutch wallet. From inside the billfold, she pulled out her own faded and worn photo strip. She looked at it with an endearing smile and then placed it on the table and slid it towards him. Picking it up, his eyes wandered over the pictures as a slow smile spread across his face. That really was a great day. They were so young and so happy… so in love. 

Swallowing down the lump that was forming in his throat, he looked up at Y/n, who was watching him closely. Smiling sadly at her, he handed back her sketchbook and photo strip. Taking them back, she handed him his journal. As he grabbed it, their fingers touched and they both froze and looked at the place of contact. 

She wanted him. She couldn’t help it. Even after all these years. She thought that her feelings for him had watered down over the years, but as she sits here with him, it has all started to come back. The need to be near him, the desire to touch him. At this moment, she just wanted to feel his lips against hers and feel his hands on her body. But she was with Ian and she didn’t deserve Matthew. What would he think of her if he knew it had only taken six months away from him before she broke the promise she herself constructed? One that he very clearly honored. She had degraded herself to the point she was no longer worthy of him. He deserves someone who would love him enough not to betray him. 

She was so beautiful. The moment their skin touched, it was like an electric current had shot through his body. He would give his right arm to be pressed against her body, and to taste her lips. He couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to bring her to his bed. He had fantasized about it for so long. It was his main masturbation material. His body was starting to react to his train of thought, causing him to quickly snatch his hand back and look away from her gaze. 

Y/n watched as Matthew started to suddenly blush and busied himself with packing his journal back inside his backpack. Realizing why he was being so suddenly awkward, she rolled her lips around her teeth and pressed them together, trying to keep a straight face. He was still very much the same as they were when they were teens. She was so tempted to just drag him to the bathroom and let him have his way, but that isn’t the kind of man he is, and he deserves to have a better first time than she did. 

As they sat there in an awkward silence, Matthew finished his glass and poured himself another, before topping off Y/n. Looking behind him at the now empty stage, he smiled. He knows how to break the tension between them. Throwing back his drink, because he was going to need it, Matthew stood up and said, “I’ll be right back.”

Y/n watched as Matthew walked over to the karaoke selection book. As he was distracted, she finished her drink and reached across the table and into his side of the booth. Grabbing the bottle, she refilled her glass and put the bottle back.

“I saw that, you know,” Matthew said, as he slid back into his side of the booth.

Shrugging her shoulders, she asked, “So, what are you singing?”

“You’ll see,” he said, laughing, as a huge smile spread across his face.

Gently kicking him under the table, she said, “Please tell me your singing has at least improved.”

Smiling even wider, he said, “I’ve been gifted with many talents, but singing, unfortunately, is not one of them. Sorry.”

Smiling ,Y/n shook her head and mumbled, “Fantastic!”

Right when Matthew was about to say something in response to her sarcasm, his name was called over the speaker. Matthew beamed at her as he wagged his eyebrows. He then slid out of the booth and ran up to the stage, taking the mic off the stand and waited for the song to start.

Y/n slid out of the booth behind him and stood a little ways away from the stage. As the first notes of the song started to play she watched Matthew bounce on the balls of his feet. It took her a moment to recognize the song, but when she did, she nearly lost it.

“Look at this stuff! Isn't it neat? Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete? Wouldn’t you think that I’m the girl- the girl who has everything?” 

Matthew walked dramatically around the room, horribly serenading the unimpressed bar patrons. Y/n however, was very impressed and currently bent over with laughter as a steady stream of tears fell from her eyes. He then ran to her, dropping to his knees and slid along the floor to stop in front of her. 

“I’ve got gadgets and gizmos aplenty! I’ve got whozits and whatzits galore! Want thingamabobs? I got twenty! But who cares? No big deal! I want more!”

As he got up, she shook her head at him while laughing and said, “You’re crazy!”

He smiled at her as he spun and ran back up to the stage to continue his murder of “Part of Your World.” 

As his song was coming upon the last verse, the door of the bar swung open and a large and visibly angry older man entered the bar. As he scanned the room, his eyes stopped on Y/n’s smiling and laughing form. Her happiness seemed to anger him more and as he started walking over to Y/n, Matthew trailed off and watched. 

When Matthew had stopped singing and was looking past her with a concerned look, she turned just in time for Ian to painfully grab her arm and try and yank her towards the exit. Just as Rick stepped out from behind the bar, Matthew called out:

“Hey! Let go of her!”

He then dropped the mic on the ground, causing a horrible noise through the speakers, and rushed over to Y/n. He wasn’t stupid. He was pretty sure this guy was her boyfriend, but there was no need for him to bust in here and start yanking her around like a rag doll. 

“Y/n, you okay?” he asked, as Rick stopped in front of the three of them.

“Look Ian, calm down, don’t make me call the cops like last time. She is just having a drink with an old friend, that’s all.”

Matthew raised his eyebrow at Rick’s comment about the ‘last time’ and the cops. Does this kind of thing happen often? Reaching out, he gently grasped Y/n’s other arm and said her name again, as she had not answered him the first time.

Y/n was about to answer, when Ian noticed Matthew’s hand on Y/n and reached across her and shoved him in the middle of his chest, causing him to stumble and fall on his ass. Almost bringing Y/n down with him.

Keeping her balance, Y/n shoved at Ian’s chest and yelled, “IAN, STOP IT!”

Not worried by the crowd they were starting to collect, Ian leaned down and got right in her face and threateningly said, “You better watch who you are shoving around, little girl.” 

Y/n yanked her arm from her boyfriend’s grasp, she rushed over to Matthew and held her hand out to help him up. 

“Are you okay?”

Matthew nodded his head and took her hand. With the help of a chair and her hand, he pulled himself up and onto his feet. Once standing, Y/n started brushing off his shirt and straightening it. 

Turning to lan, she said, “That wasn’t necessary. He is just a friend.”

“Do you think I’m stupid? I know exactly who he is! You talk in your sleep, bitch,” Ian snapped, reaching for Y/n again.

Matthew looked at Y/n with curiosity as she slightly flinched and closed her eyes at Ian’s words. 

“It’s time to go, Y/n,” Ian said, before grabbing her arm again and yanking her towards the door.

“Hey man, maybe you should all just sit down and have a drink? Everyone should just calm down before you leave,” Rick suggested, trying to block the door. 

“Move Rick, I already told you what would happen if you kept sniffing around my girl,” Ian said, pointing his finger in the bartender’s face. 

“Y/n, you don’t have to leave with him,” Matthew said, starting to get nervous about her leaving. 

Holding her hands up in an attempt to calm everyone down, she said, “Guy’s everything is fine.” Y/n then turned and looked up at Ian and said, “Just let me grab my purse. Then we will go.”

Letting go of her arm, Ian snapped, “Hurry up.”

Y/n quickly scurried to the table and grabbed her purse and sketch book. As she walked by Matthew, she quickly glanced at him and then averted her eyes and mouthed “I’m sorry,” before going to stand by Ian. 

Matthew watched as Rick stood in front of the exit a moment, then reluctantly moved out of the way when Y/n said his name, pleadingly.

As she walked out of the bar with her boyfriend, Y/n looked back at Matthew, and gave him a small, apologetic smile.

As he and Rick watched the couple get in their car and drive off, Rick sighed and said, “Trust me when I say, it’s not going to be okay.” He then turned and walked back in the bar, leaving Matthew outside with a sickening feeling in his stomach.

He knew he wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight. He was going to be worrying about Y/n all night.


	6. Part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 14 year old Matthew befriends the strange new girl that just moves to town after she stands up to some jocks who are bullying him. Their friendship develops into crushes and as soon as they admit it the reader’s family suddenly moves away. Several years later Matthew is starting his first day of shooting on CM and when he walks into the prop department guess who works there… the reader! They rekindle their friendship. It only gets complicated after Reader offers to help Matthew practice for his very first kissing scene

Just as he had expected, Matthew barely slept that night. He had laid in his bed, beating himself up for letting her leave with Ian and for not exchanging numbers with her. What if she needed help? She could have called him. Around 3 am he gave up and padded into his kitchen to make his morning coffee.

Turning on the tv for some background noise, he sat down with his drawing journal and coffee, until he had to get ready for work. Not much time had passed when he decided that he would not be able to concentrate on his doodles, so he would take a quick bath and leave early. Maybe he could stop by the props department before he went to makeup and costumes. 

*****

He actually got to the studio before most of his costars and the crew. Matthew had planned to first stop at his trailer to drop his things off, and then was going to the props department and see if Y/n was there yet. If not, he planned on waiting for her until she got there.

However, when he entered his trailer, he nearly tripped on a pair of boots and a duffel bag. Looking up, confused, he saw someone sleeping under a blanket on his trailer couch.   
For a moment he looked back and forth between the sleeping form and the boots before it clicked. Those were Y/n’s boots. They were actually the same ones from middle school. 

Slowly turning back to his sleeping friend, he quietly put his bag down on the table and walked over to the couch, and kneeled down beside it. Pulling back the blanket, he uncovered Y/n’s head and smiled when she released a snort-like snore. Her hair was a bird’s nest and completely covering her face. Matthew reached up and brushed what he could from her face, causing her to mumble something and roll closer to the backrest of the couch. Laughing and shaking his head, he reached out and gently shook her shoulder.

“Y/n, honey, wake up,” he said softly, trying not to startle her. Even though he did, anyway.

Y/n shot up and off the couch so quick, all he saw was a blur. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I know I shouldn’t have picked the lock, but the bar was already closed and I thought I could sneak out before you got here. I’m so so sorry! I’m so embarrass-” she rambled, but was cut off by Matthew’s angry voice.

“What the fuck happened to your face!”

His loud tone caused her to cover her face with her hand and take a step back, nearly tripping on her bag, just as he had earlier. 

Seeing that he had scared her, he took a deep breath and apologized, “I’m sorry I yelled, Y/n. You know I would never hurt you, please come here so I can take a look.”

Swallowing nervously, Y/n looked away for a moment. She had been so embarrassed by him finding her, she had forgotten the huge shiner Ian had given her when they had gotten home. The fight was epic and it ended with him back handing her so hard, she literally spun. She had locked herself in the bathroom after that and waited for him to fall asleep before quietly packing a bag and sneaking out. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. In a couple of days, Ian would call her crying about how sorry he was and how much he needed her, and like the idiot she is, she will slink back because she has nowhere else to go. 

Looking back at Matthew, whose face was filled with genuine concern, she was reminded of the time she had told him about Larry. The parallels of those two moments sent a chill through her. 

“Y/n… please?”

She gave her head a slight nod and slowly made her way over. As she looked up at him, she saw the sadness and anger in his eyes and it caused her heart to clench in self- loathing. Once again, she had dragged him into her shitty ass drama, and this time, it was her fault. She couldn’t control the thing with Larry, but Ian… she made that choice.

Matthew gently brushed the hair from Y/n's face. Then, lightly grasping her chin, he turned her head and tilted it back a little to get a good look. The right side of her face and eye were slightly swollen and very bruised. Even the whites of her right eye were red. He must have hit her hard. Closing his eyes and counting to 10, he blew out a calming breath, and leaned forward to gently kiss the injured side of her face. When he pulled back, her eyes fluttered back open and just stared at him.

“Is this the only place he hurt you?”

Again, she just looked away and just barely nodded her head. He then pulled her into a tight hug and she released a content sign. He always had that effect on her. 

Pulling away, he said, “There might be some ice in my mini fridge. Let me check,” and he hurried over to the kitchenette area of his trailer. 

Y/n walked over to the couch and sat down. She then grabbed her bag and dug in it until she found her makeup pouch and her flask. Putting her pouch on the table in front of her, she unscrewed her flask and had it at her mouth when she saw the way Matthew had stopped in his tracks, and was just staring at her in shock.

“What? Don’t look at me like that! I’ve had a rough night. I’m homeless, me and my boyfriend had a huge fight, and I got my face smashed in. I think that’s deserving of a drink,” Y/n said, defensively.

“But at 5 in the morning?”

Rolling her eyes, she recapped her flask and tossed it back in her purse.

“Happy now?”

“I think I’d be happier without the knowledge that you carry a flask with you,” he said, giving her a concerned look.

“Oh my god, Matthew, I don’t always carry it. It was mine and I didn’t want him to have it, so I just threw it in there while I was sneaking out.”

“Oh… Sorry,” he said, giving her an embarrassed smile as he came to sit by her and hand her an ice pack. 

Which only made Y/n feel shitter for lying to him. Reason #310 why she was no longer good enough for him. He trusted her and easily believed anything she said. Most people who know her, know she would lie about anything to save face… like just now. So, she gave him a tight smile before placing the ice pack gingerly on her face.

After sitting quietly for a few moments, Matthew asked, “Do you want to come stay at my place? It’s tiny, possibly haunted, and not in the best part of town, but I got a spare room. It would be better than sleeping in here.”

Y/n thought for a minute and then nodded her head and said, “Yeah, okay. That sounds good. At least until Ian calls and says I can come back.”

“WHAT!?!” Matthew shouted, as he shot up off the couch. When he saw her flinch, it took everything he had in him to lower his voice. 

“You’re joking, right? Please tell me you’re joking. You can NOT go back to that guy! Look what he did to you! What are you thinking?”

“Hey, don’t yell at me! Mine and Ian’s relationship is complicated, but we’ve been together for awhile and I – I love him. Not to mention all my stuff is there.” 

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to yell, but it's frustrating to hear that you plan on going back. How can you love someone that would do something like this to you?” he asked, gesturing to her face. As he paced back and forth, he waited for her response, but she remained silent and just stared at the floor. Huffing in frustration, and pushing her makeup pack out of the way, he sat across from her on the coffee table. 

“Look at me,” he demanded, lifting her head up by her chin. His heart ached at the sight of her watery eyes and he swallowed down the lump forming in his throat. “I’m not trying to be an asshole. I just thought my days of seeing you bruised and beaten ended over 12 years ago. Yet here we are, but this time you have the choice not to let it happen, again.”

“It won’t…” she whispered.

“Really? So, you’re telling me this is the first time he has done this to you?”

Y/n just looked away without answering his question.

“Exactly,” he said quietly, hating that he was right. “If he’s done it before, and he did it this time, he will do it again. You of all people should know that. No matter what he promises.”

They sat there in silence for what felt like forever. Matthew reached out and took her smaller hands in his, causing her to look up at him. 

“Please, come stay with me. Don’t go back to him. I can’t see you like this again. It kills me. Please promise me. You’re too good for him away. Not to mention he is sooo old…ewww.”

His last statement causes her to chuckle, and then shake her head.

“Y/n, can you promise me?”

Looking him in the eyes, she swallowed and nodded her head and quietly said, “Sure…. Yeah, I promise.” She already felt guilty because she knew that, just like her other promise, she was likely to break this one too. He was wrong. She really wasn’t too good for Ian.

He smiled brightly at her before standing up and bending to kiss her on the top of her head. When she tilted her head back to look up at him, he had to quickly move away, because the urge to then kiss her on the lips was far too great. He just wanted to show her how much he still loved her. But last time, it had gone horribly and with everything going on with Ian, she more than likely wouldn’t be happy if he tried. 

“It’s getting late. I’m gonna head to costumes and make up and I’ll see you at props. After work, we can go back to my place. We will figure out how to get the rest of your stuff later. See you in a little bit?”

Nodding her head, she grabbed her makeup clutch and stood. “Yea I’m just gonna clean up really quick and try to cover this up. I’ll be in props in about 45 minutes,” she said, smiling at him. As he was about to leave, she called out to him and he stopped. 

“Thank you… for you know… for the place to stay and… trying to look out for me.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I’ll always have your back, no matter what. Forever and always,” he said, sincerely, before giving her a small smile and slipping out of the trailer.

Once she was alone, Y/n drew in a deep breath and blew it out loudly. Walking to her bag, she pulled out a pair of tight torn up jeans and her favorite Ramones t-shirt. She was halfway to the bathroom when she walked back to her purse and grabbed her flask, then headed off to get ready for the day.

******

Matthew was sitting in his folding chair with his journal open, when Shemar came and sat next to him. He silently waved a hand at him to say hi, without even looking up from his journal.

“So last night, must’ve been some night…,” Shemar said, causing Matthew to pause his doodling. 

“Why would you say that?”

“I mean…? What happened to your friend's face?”

“Oh… um, that’s kinda personal. She might not want me to talk about it.”

“But… you didn’t do it, right?”

Matthew head whipped around and gave his costar an offended look, “No! Of course not! Let’s just say she doesn’t have a boyfriend anymore and I have a new roommate. Shit, you really thought I could do something like that?”

“I mean not really, but sometimes you never know. We did just meet after all.”

“Well, I didn’t do it. I would never hurt anyone like that, especially her.”

“So how is that gonna work? The whole living with the woman you love, and just being platonic buddies?”

Looking back down at his journal and continuing to doodle, he said, “I never said I was in love with her.”

Laughing and shaking his head in disbelief, Shemar said, “Sure kid, whatever you say, but I hope you’re prepared for the first time she brings a guy home or you bring a girl home. It’s gonna get hella awkward, hella fast.”

Matthew’s eyebrows furrowed as he thought, and then said, “I don’t think she is ready to date and I don’t for that matter, so it should be fine.”

Matthew could feel his coworkers eyes on him. Sighing, he put down his pencil and looked up and said, “What?”

“Did you just say that you don’t date? Like...ever? Other than Y/n, have you had a girlfriend?”

Closing his journal and getting up from his seat, Matthew said, “Okay, I’m gonna go get something to eat.”

Shemar followed closely behind him, “Seriously, man? I’m not judging you, I'm just shocked. I’m---yeah you’re a little weird, and definitely awkward, but you seriously haven’t dated anyone but her?”

“Oh my god! Okay! Yes, she has been my only girlfriend, the only girl I’ve ever kissed and yes, I’m a virgin. Are you happy? We made a promise to each other…. And I’m the only one who kept it. It’s not a big deal, though. I think she still has feelings for me… she just needs time.”

“Time for what?” Y/n asked, as she came up behind Matthew, smiling up at him.

Shemar just laughed and slapped his new friend on the shoulder and said, “I’m gonna get a water. I’ll see you later, kid.”

Giving Shemar a confused look as he walked away, Y/n said, “I don’t think he likes me.”

“He just doesn’t know you. You got time to eat with me?”

Shrugging her shoulders, she said, “I have a couple minutes.”

“Cool, have you tried any of the food yet? The burritos are killer!”

“No, can’t say that I have. I guess I’ll take your word for it and try the burrito.” 

They collected their lunch and headed to his trailer to eat. 

*****

“Has he tried calling you?” Matthew asked, as he sat down on his couch.

“Yeah, but I haven’t answered. It’s usually best not to, for the first couple days, because he is still angry. I like to give him a cooling off period,” Y/n said, before biting into her burrito. Nodding her head as she chewed, she pointed at her food and she said, “Mmm… this is fucking amazing!”

Matthew laughed and shook his head as Y/n took another bite of her burrito. 

“Anyway, I just turned my phone off. I should probably give Rick a heads up. It’s gonna be the first place he goes.”

“Do you think he will come to the studio?”

Shrugging she said, “Maybe, but Kathryn took one look at my face and called the front gate and told them not to let him in.”

Looking at her with confusion, he asked, “Who is Kathryn?”

“She is the head of the props department.”

“The friend that got you the job?”

“Yeah, we met through a mutual friend. She thought that if I was able to get some money in my pockets that I would get the courage to leave Ian.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

Laughing, she said, “I mean, you just did so why not another?”

Rolling his eyes, he bumped his shoulder into her’s, causing her to giggle and drop some of her food on his trailer floor.

“Oh man, look what you made me do,” she said, giggling as she bent down to scoop up the food off the floor.

“Sorry,” he said, smiling at her. When she looked back up at him, his smile faded and he looked back at his food, before asking, “Do you really love him?”

“Matthew…”

“Do you love him more than you love me?”

“Matthew…. I… I love him, yes, but in a different way that I loved you.”

“Loved…”

Sighing, she pushed the hair out of her face and looked over at him. He was trying to blink back tears. Here she was again, lying to him. If she told him the truth, that she still loved him, it would give him false hope. She isn’t stupid. She knows Matthew is optimistic to the core. He probably was hoping that if she was away from Ian, and living in his apartment, that they would fall easily back into their old relationship. But that wasn’t going to happen. She would end up hurting him more by being with him than by making him think she didn’t want him. Even though every fiber of her did.

“It’s been a really long time Matthew, and we were kids. A lot has happened since then. I’m not the same person. There is a lot you don’t know about me.”

He quietly nodded his head, even though she wasn’t sure if he was hearing her. It was killing her to see how her words were tearing him apart. 

Standing, Matthew mumbled, “I’ll be right back,” before heading to the bathroom. 

Looking down at her hands, her chin started to quiver. She was not going to cry. Standing up, she started to fan her face with her hand. She was not going to fucking cry. She took a deep, calming breath. Maybe staying at his place was a bad idea. She should just go see Rick after work.

Just as she was about to leave Matthew’s trailer, he came out of the bathroom, and looked like he had pulled himself together. 

“Wait, are you leaving?”

“Umm… yeah? I just thought you would want me too. I feel like I’m being a bitch, but- “

“No,” he interrupted her, “no you’re not. You’re just being honest. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that. I hope I didn’t make you feel too uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”

Y/n flinched, because she was being anything but honest. He shouldn’t be apologizing. She should. 

“Maybe it’s not a good idea for me to stay with you. I can always crash on Rick’s couch until I find a place.”

Not liking the idea of her staying with Rick, Matthew insisted, “No, please don’t! It will be okay. I promise. It will be really fun. Please?” 

Sighing, Y/n nodded her head in agreement, even though she knew it was against her better judgment.

“Okay, fine… sure. We will give it a try for a week. If it doesn’t work, I’ll stay at Rick’s or I should have enough by then to at least find a hotel room. Deal?” Y/n held her hand out, waiting for him to shake on it.

He still didn’t like the possibility of her ending up at Rick’s. The guy just got under his skin. He didn’t like the way he looked at Y/n. He was probably just jealous, though. Which was weird because he never thought of himself as the jealous type. Sighing, he walked across the room and shook Y/n's hand.

“Deal.”

******

The day had gone by pretty slow, but they were finally in Matthew’s car and on the way to his apartment. The ride there was oddly silent. Since their discussion at lunch, they both had had time to think about the situation.

Matthew was convinced that, given time, Y/n may actually reconsider. He was much better looking than when he was 14. Not that he thought that really mattered to her, but it definitely couldn’t hurt.

He also hoped that maybe, with some time, she would open up with him. He wished she knew that she could still tell him anything. He felt like maybe she was keeping something from him.

Matthew was getting the impression that she had turned into a bit of a party girl. The other night, she had drank a lot and it barely fazed her, while he himself had a pretty good buzzy. Then, there was the flask. He believes her when she said she had just tossed in her bag, what was scratching at the back of his head was, why even have a flask, unless you planned on walking around with alcohol. He was hoping that if he could distract her, maybe she wouldn’t mind just slowing down and hanging out at home with him.

Y/n was worried that Matthew was still hoping she would change her mind. She was also worried that Ian would find out where he lived and show up, insisting she come home. She knew turning her phone off would likely only aggravate her boyfriend more, and eventually, she would have to turn it back on. 

Signing, she turned to look out the window. She could feel the moment Matthew turned his head, his eyes looking directly at her. 

“You okay?”

Without looking at him, she just shrugged, “Yeah I guess so. I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”

Chuckling warily, Matthew swiped his hand down his face.

“I hear that,” he agreed. “We are pretty close. We can go straight to bed when we get there.

The rest of the drive remained silent until they pulled into the parking garage.

“We are here. I- well, I guess we live on the second floor. Room 204. This place was built in the 1920's by Paramount to house the movie stars. It was like a hotel. Now it is mostly older, eccentric people… and me. The landlady is really nice, and showed me this really cool scrapbook about the place. I’m pretty sure it’s haunted.”

“Matthew? Are you nervous about something? You’re rambling.”

“Umm... yeah, maybe a little,” he confesses, laughing nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Why, though? It’s not like I’m going to bite you, or stab you in your sleep.”

“Why would you say something like that? Now I’m going to have to hide the knives. But, just so we are clear… you biting me would probably backfire, as I don’t think it would result in the response you think it would.”

“Don’t tempt me,” she teased. Her words stopped him in his tracks as he blushed, and his eyes grew wide. Smiling, she turned and walked backwards toward the elevator and said, “Don’t say something you can’t back up,” and then turned and hit the button to the elevator. Over her shoulder she called, “You coming? I don’t know where to go.”

Matthew shook his head, hoping to chase any images that sprung to life at her words. He was never going to survive this. Quickly, he caught up with her, and they rode up the elevator to the second level. When they got to their apartment, Matthew unlocked the door.

“I’ll have to dig out the spare key for you.”

“Okay, no hurry.”

Once they were inside the apartment, Y/n looked around with a smile spreading across her face. It was quite small, like he promised, but she would not have expected it to be decorated any different than the way he had it. 

All his furniture looked like antiques and there were Halloween and fall decorations everywhere. Even though fall was several months away. 

Laughing, she walked over to a life-sized skeleton sitting cross legged in a chair and started to open and close his jaw bone. 

“Why am I so delightfully unsurprised by your décor choices?”

“Because despite all that time apart, you still know me better than anyone, but, maybe my mom.”

“You haven’t changed much, have you?”

Drawing his brows together, he jutted his lower jaw out as he thought. 

“No, I’ve changed. Quite a bit actually.”

“I mean, other than physically.”

“Me too.” 

“Hmm, well you’re hiding it well.”

Rolling his eyes, he pointed to a closed door and said, “That’s your room and that one is mine. The bathroom is there and the kitchen is over there.”

“That should be easy enough. At least I won’t get lost.”

“I’m gonna go change… were you going to go to bed?”

“Nah, now that we are here, I’m not that tired. Do you want to maybe watch some tv?” 

Smiling, he nodded his head.

“I’ll be right back.”

Y/n took this time to check what she guessed was now her room. Opening the door, she could tell by the lack of spooky things, that this room was more than likely intended for his mom, if she visited. Placing her duffle bag and purse on the bed, she sat down to unlace her boots and kick them off. Opening her duffle, she pulled out a tank top and some yoga pants and quickly changed.

She then walked over to the mirror and with makeup wipes, cleaned her face, exposing her bruised face. Quickly, looking away from her reflection, she loosened her hair from its messy bun and draped it the best she could, over her face. Feeling a bit down about herself, she grabbed her refillable “water” bottle and downed two mouthfuls of vodka. It would help steady her nerves. 

Being so close to Matthew made her hands shake and her heart race. She hoped that with time, that would all pass and they could just be friends again. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of her room and Matthew looked over the back of the couch and gave her a goofy smile. 

Coming around the couch, she noticed he was sitting criss-cross applesauce on the couch, with a bowl of cashews in his lap.

“I found the old black and white reruns of The Addams Family.”

Smiling at the memories that bubbled up, Y/n sat next to him, mirroring his position and reached over and into the bowl in his lap for a handful of nuts. 

Matthew, clearing his throat, replaced the bowl with a pillow and then moved the nuts to a spot on the couch between them. 

Y/n couldn’t help the smirk that slid across her face. “You okay? You seem tense.” 

“Yeah, I’m good,” he squeaked, his voice cracking an octave higher.

Y/n then chuckled. “If you say so.”

They then sat quietly in the dark, watching and laughing at the black and white images flickering across the scene.

******

As the last 4 months passed, Matthew and Y/n fell into a comfortable routine. Their friendship grew stronger, and while they both still held strong feelings for each other, it became easier everyday to look past it and pretend that they weren’t in love. 

That was, until the night Matthew and his cast members went to a network party where he met a girl and exchanged numbers. At the time, he didn’t seriously think he would ever call or talk to her again, and mostly made the exchange due to his friends egging him on.

Y/n had actually kept her promise about Ian. She wasn’t even tempted to return to him this time around. She did, however, have to change her number, as he would not stop calling and leaving threatening messages in her voicemail. 

She had decided that she would take a break with dating, and maybe try and work on herself. It was a struggle, but she had cut down on her drinking and was actually doing a lot better. She no longer brought a flask to work, and her water bottle was actually filled with water. She only drank now, when she went out and in the evenings after work. 

There was a small, quiet part of her brain that was hopeful. Hopeful, that if she made enough changes in herself, that maybe she would be worthy enough for Matthew.

But then, she started to notice that between takes he would be on his phone rather than studying his script or drawing. At home, he was always checking his phone and texting someone. She couldn’t count on her two hands, alone, how many times she caught him stupidly smiling at his phone. Smiling, the way he has only ever smiled at her. 

She would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little jealous. Even on the Saturday movie night, he spent more time looking at his phone, than the movie. Y/n hasn’t asked about her or if they were dating. She didn’t think it was her place… that or she was scared of the answer.

Matthew had resisted other women for so long. He and Y/n had been living together for over four months now, and he assumed that if something was going to happen, then it would have. So, when Vivian texted him, he figured he would see what happened. They weren’t dating, not even close, but he could definitely see it going in that direction.

Part of him, though, really mourned the idea of him and Y/n. If you would have asked him four months ago, he would have sworn that the fact that their lives had crossed again was proof that they were meant for each other. 

Since starting to talk to Vivian, however, he had noticed that Y/n had started acting….off. She would get mad at him for no reason. Last movie night, she suddenly turned off the movie, went to her room and changed, then stormed out the door and didn’t stumble back in until 3 am. She had barely been able to make it to her room, she was so drunk. It had been a while since he had seen her drink that much and when he tried to ask her about it the next day, she blew him off and changed the subject.

She had been really distant since then. She no longer ate lunch in his trailer with him, and the car rides to and from work were silent. Much like when they first met as teens, she would shut him out by putting in her ear buds. When they were home, she spent most of her time locked in her room. He didn’t understand why she was acting this way. 

He had talked to Shemar and A.J. Shemar wasn’t very helpful; his contribution was: “That time of the month?” Which granted him a slap on the arm from A.J. She asked when Y/n started acting differently and when he said right around the time he started texting Vivian, she just laughed at him and told him to maybe spend less time with his nose to his phone. That Y/n was probably jealous.

He didn’t think that was it. You can’t be jealous over someone you don’t want.  
But nonetheless, he tried not to spend as much time on his phone when she was around. He had worked too hard to make their friendship work, that he didn’t want to mess it up now.

Y/n couldn’t help it. She knew she had no right to be jealous, and she knew that there really wasn’t anything to be jealous of, at the moment, but nonetheless it was there. She didn’t mean to start pulling away from Matthew, but she did. She was trying to protect herself and, in the process, she fell back into bad habits. Her drinking increased and she had started smoking weed, again. She spent a lot of her time in her own little word, in her room painting and sketching. 

One day, she was actually out sitting out in the living room eating a bowl of cereal and watching Saturday morning cartoons, when there was a knock on the door. Assuming it was for Matthew, she didn’t budge from her spot and continued to eat. 

When there was another knock on the door, Matthew flew out of his room and called out, “Hold on, be right there!” He then turned to her, right before opening the door, and said, “Seriously? You couldn’t get it?”

Y/n nodded her head towards the tv and shrugged.

Rolling his eyes, he turned to the curriers standing on the other side with his script for the following week. Signing, and thanking the man, Matthew closed the door and came over to the couch, pushing Y/n legs off so he could sit.

“Hey! I almost spilled my milk!” she said, as she swiveled and put her feet on the coffee table in front of her.

Ignoring her complaint, Matthew ripped open the yellow envelope containing his script. While quickly flipping threw it, he froze when one scene, in particular, caught his eye. 

“What? Oh, fuck!”

Noticing Matthew pause and curse, she looked over at him with curiosity. He looked terrified. Sitting up and putting her now empty bowl down in front of her, she turned to him and plucked the scripted from his shaking hands.

“What’s the problem? Did they kill off Reid?” she asked, skimming over the page that seemed to be bothering him.

“Is this it? You kiss some chick in a pool? That’s what has you all worked up?” she questioned, as she giggled.

Scowling at Y/n, he snatched the script from her hands and snapped, “It's not funny.”

“It’s just kissing, Matthew. You know how to kiss. You’ve kissed girls before. I just don’t understand why you're freaking out. I’m sorry.”

“Because I haven’t kissed girls. I’ve kissed a girl. One, and it was almost 13 years ago! So yeah, I’m a little nervous. Not to mention, I didn’t know they were going to make me make out with her, when I recommended her for the part. Now, it looks like I planned it or something!” Halfway through his rant, he had got up and started to pace around the small living room.

Y/n, however, had stopped listening after the part where he confessed that she was the only girl he had ever kissed. She knew she was his first kiss and she knew he kept his promise not to sleep with anyone else, but she had still assumed he had at least made out with someone, or at least messed around. But no… he had only kissed her! She felt like the room was spinning and the guilt she already felt was suddenly much heavier. He had missed out on so much, and she had broken the deal within two months of leaving Vegas. 

Getting up on shaky legs, Y/n walked into the kitchen and grabbed two glasses and an unopened bottle of whiskey. Coming back to the living room, she popped open the bottle and poured three fingers in each glass. She then held up one to Matthew, who took it and pulled a long sip. Y/n threw hers back like a shot, and then patted the seat next to her as she refilled her glass.

Matthew sat down, heavily, next to Y/n, causing the antique couch to squeak beneath him. He then finished the rest of his drink and slid it toward her on the coffee table. 

Picking up the bottle, she filled it to the point she had previously, and slid it back.

“More,” he said, sliding it back again. Y/n raised an eyebrow at him and poured two more fingers. Picking it up, she held it in front of him and he took it.

Y/n tossed back her second glass and then plopped it on the table. She then turned on the couch, so her body was now facing Matthew’s. Staring at him a moment, she sighed. 

“I’ll help you.”

“What?” he asked, confused.

“I’ll help you practice. So, if you're rusty, you can get it all worked out, and won’t embarrass yourself in front of a room full of people, a pretty girl, and all on film.”

“You know that’s not helping, right?”

She smiled slightly, and apologized, “I know, I’m sorry. But do think about what I said, before the embarrassment part?”

Matthew sat quietly, fidgeting with the glass in his hand. He swallowed and looked over at Y/n and stared at her a long time.

Y/n started to squirm under his gaze. Turning away from him, she filled her glass and stood, taking both the glass and bottle. She was about to walk back to her room, assuming his lack of answer was his answer, when one of his large hands wrapped around her wrist. Looking down at him, she could see concern, fear, and desire flashing behind his eyes. He then finally spoke.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?” It was the closest either of them had come to admitting that they wanted the other in the last four months. 

Y/n knew that if they were going to do this, she would have to lay down some ground rules. Be completely open and honest with him. This was a one-time thing. It was something she was doing, mostly to relieve some of the guilt weighing down on her heart. 

“It should be fine, but it’s a one-time deal. This doesn’t mean we will date. It’s purely kissing to help make you more comfortable.”

Looking up at her, he quietly asked, “But, why?”

Sighing, she looked away from his eyes. Eyes that were searching hers for a deeper meaning. She was worried he would find it.

“Look, I’m offering because I asked you to make a deal with me a long time ago, and it didn’t take me very long to break it.” She saw him flinch at her words from the corner of her eye, and he let go of her wrist. Taking another deep breath, Y/n continued, “I feel like I at least owe you this. You missed out on so much and I feel responsible.”

“So, you suggested it out of pity, then? Because I don’t want your pity,” he snapped.

Scowling, she looked at him again and snapped back, “You know what? It’s not out of pity, but guilt. I feel guilty. You wouldn’t be in this predicament if it wasn’t for me. But, by all means, call your little friend you’re always talking to. I’m sure she would love to help you out!” Y/n was practically yelling by time she finished saying what she needed to say, but when she turned to leave, she was quickly spun back around and Matthew’s lips were on her’s.

Matthew had her head grasped in his hands and he was just pressing his lips against hers. After a moment, he reached down and took the bottle and the glass from her hands and placed them on the table. He then sat down and patted the seat next to him, much like she had earlier.

Snapping out of the shock from Matthew’s bold move, she slowly sat back down next to him. She wasn’t really sure how to begin. Did she lean in and kiss him, or does she wait on him to kiss her again? 

Y/n licked her lips, drawing his gaze down to them. God, how he missed those lips. Leaning forward, he stopped halfway, not sure what she wanted him to do. 

As his lips stopped just out of reach, Y/n leaned in the rest of the way and as their lips connected, Matthew let out the smallest of moans. Y/n did her best to ignore it, and started to move her mouth along his. 

Matthew opened his mouth, slightly, and cupped the side of her head with one of his hands and gently grasped her upper arm, pulling her closer to him.

Letting him guide her nearer to him, she scooted closer on the couch, and turned her body towards him. 

As they kissed, her fingers played with the hair curling at the back of his neck, while her other hand rested on his shoulder. When she felt his tongue just barely sweep across her bottom lip, she lost all sense. Without realizing it, she lifted to her knees and straddled his lap.

Matthew moaned again, but this time it was long and deep. The feel of her weight on top of his lap was intoxicating. The hand that was once on her arm found its new home, wrapped around her narrow waist as he pulled her even closer.

As their tongues, lips, and teeth battled desperately, Y/n reached up and thread her fingers through his hair as she started to rotate her hips. It wasn’t until he grasped both her hips in his hands and thrusted his hips upward that he was grinding his covered erection against her pussy. This time, she released a moan that was just as loud as his, and just as desperate. 

Pulling away from her lips, Matthew presses his forehead against her’s, breathing heavily.

“We need to stop… I think I’ve remembered how…. mmmm……Y/n…,” Matthew said, in between kisses.

“Okay… we’ll stop… stopping…” Y/n pulled away, and quickly realized that, at some point, she had crawled in his lap. Embarrassed, she tried to quickly scramble off his lap, but Matthew had yet to let go of her hips. Smacking at his hands, she tried to loosen his grip, all the while, wiggling on top of him. 

Matthew groaned at the friction that Y/n was unintentionally causing, and let go of her with one of his hands, and grabbed the back of her head, pulling Y/n back to his lips. As she melted back into him, he thrusted his hips up, increasing the sensations she was creating.

Y/a whimpered in response, pushing down into his hips. Things were getting out of control, and she knew they had to stop before it was too late, but no part of her was willing to comply. 

Matthew gasped her name, as they ground into each other. He had forgotten how intoxicating it was to touch her, and he was going to cum if they didn’t stop. 

Y/n pulled away again, trying to put some space between them. They were both breathing hard and slowly rolling their hips. 

“Okay, new deal… if you're down for it… what if I help you with one more thing? I mean you’ve waited this long… What if, just this one time, we do what we planned to do 12 years ago? I mean, I know I broke my side of the deal, but it doesn’t mean I can’t help you with yours…”

Matthew had stopped moving and held his breath, as he thought about what Y/n was saying.

“Are you asking me if I want to have sex?”

“Umm… well, if you want to. If not, we can stop right here. I’ll get up and go to my room and we can pretend that I never said anything,” Y/n said, feeling a little less confident than before.

“I really want to,” Matthew said, but was interrupted by Y/n’s big smile and her leaning in for another kiss. Stopping her, he continued, “But I don’t think we should. It took me four months to be okay just being your friend… and if we do this, I’m worried what it would do to us… I can’t imagine not having you in my life. I don’t want to jeopardize that.”

Once he was done explaining why they shouldn’t sleep together, Y/n’s face slid on a mask of indifference and she got off his lap. Shrugging her shoulders, she simply said, “Okay,” and grabbed her glass and the bottle of whiskey, then walked to her room and shut the door. Moments later, he heard her door lock and music started playing loudly from her stereo.

Matthew sat on the couch, frustrated and confused. He figured she would have more to say then “Okay.” She had seemed really into what they were doing, it felt like when they were kids again. In that moment, he couldn’t have been happier. He was actually surprised to hear himself tell her no. Because he had never wanted someone or something more than he had 10 minutes ago. 

When the smile dropped from her face and she slipped off his lap, all he felt was panic, bubbling up from deep down within him. But it was too late. Her retreat was silent and swift, and it wasn’t until he heard the click of her door shutting did he realize he may have made a mistake. 

Once Y/n locked her door and turned on her music, she let the feeling of rejection wash over her. It had taken everything she had to keep her eyes dry and her chin steady, when she realized he didn’t want her. Why did she have to go and suggest it? She just wanted to scream and throw shit around her room, but she didn’t want Matthew to know how much he had just hurt her. 

Walking over to her bed, she threw herself onto the mattress and buried her face into a pillow and screamed. He probably was saving his first time for that Vivian chick he was always talking to.

By the time she had rolled over onto her back, her eyes had started to leak. No, she was not going to let him get to her like this. His loss. Wiping angrily at them, she got off her bed and pulled her weed box off of her bookshelf. Grabbing the whiskey bottle and her cup, she sat at her drawing table in the corner of her room. She filled her cup almost to the top and started to break down some buds to roll up. 

Once she was done, she stripped her clothes off and put on her dark green silk robe and turned off her stereo. Grabbing a lighter, her joint, and the bottle of whiskey, she walked over to her door and slowly opened it. Peeking out, she didn’t see Matthew, so she slid out her room and scurried to the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

Matthew stepped out of the kitchen when he heard the bathroom door slam shut. Looking at her ajar door and back to the bathroom, he heard the water starting to run and figured that she must have decided to take a bath. Walking to just outside the bathroom, he rested his forehead against the cool wood of the door. Then he heard it: a barely audible, low sensual moan.

Y/n’s favorite way to let off some steam was to take a bubble bath. But it was the pre-bath activity that made it her favorite, not the bubbles. Laying with her legs dangling over the edge of the tub and the running faucet between her legs. Sliding down and situating her hips so that the stream out water was hitting her clit at just the right angle. Rolling her hips slightly, she tipped her head back and moaned. She couldn’t help but play images of Matthew with his head between her legs. 

Quickly, she felt the familiar tightening in her belly. Her toes started to curl as she bit her lips to speed up the rotation of her hips. And then the pressure finally snapped, causing her to throw back her head and arch her back.

“Fuck… Matthew…. mmm, yes baby…. awwww, mmmm.”

As she came down from her high, she scooted back and laid lengthwise in the tub, and turned off the water. Grabbing the soap dish, she stole from the sink, her joint and her lighter, she lit her weed and sank under down in the water until she was neck deep.

Matthew knew he should walk away from the door. He was invading her privacy, but just as he was going to pull away, he hears his name slip from her mouth. Closing his eyes, his hand hovered over the door knob. Taking a deep breath, he pushed off the door and walked quickly to his room. Grabbing his sneakers and keys he left the apartment before he did something stupid that he would probably regret. It wouldn’t hurt him to talk a walk around the block.

*****

After her bath, Y/n wrapped herself in a towel and, once again peeked out through the door. Still no sign of Matthew. Quickly, she dashed to her bedroom and shut the door. Padding over to her dresser, she pulled out a pair of loose-fitting red flannel sleep pants and her old worn and faded baby-doll Nirvana t-shirt. Slipping them on, she left her bedroom. Walking over to Matthew’s room, the door was open so she peered inside and saw he wasn’t there. That’s when she noticed the chain on the door was not up. Maybe he went to go see Vivian, she thought bitterly. Heading to the bathroom, she cleaned up her mess and grabbed the bottle of whiskey and carried it to the kitchen with her. 

Deciding she was in the mood for some mac and cheese, she grabbed a pan and filled it with water and set it one the stove. As she was waiting for it to boil, she leaned against the counter and flipped through one of her art magazines she was subscribed to. When the water was ready, she added her noodles, set a timer, and returned to her magazine. She was so transfixed on an article about pointillism, that she didn’t hear the front door open and close.

Matthew headed straight to his room to put up his shoes after he returned from his walk. He had used the time to think things over. While he was worried that turning her down had harmed their relationship just as it would have if they had slept together, he still thinks he made the most logical choice. He didn’t want it to be something she would regret. Whereas for him, it would mean so much more. He didn’t think she loved him the way he loved her and if someone was going to get hurt in this arrangement it would probably be him. He still felt they really needed to discuss it though, and clear the air, so things would not be as awkward between them. 

He was about to walk to her room to see if she was there, when he heard a buzzer go off in the kitchen, and the banging of pans. Walking in the direction of Y/n cursing, he stood in the entrance way of the kitchen. Her back was to him and every rational thought he had, slipped through his mind when he saw her. Her pajama pants rode so low on her hips that he could see the dimples of her lower back right above where her ass began. He knew that if she were to turn, he would be able to see much more. She was also wearing a shirt he was very familiar with, but now it was barely street legal with how high it rode up her stomach and with how many holes it contained.

He was so distracted by the hint of under boob, that he almost missed that she was stretching out, trying to reach the strainer to drain whatever she had been cooking. Quietly walking up behind her, he placed his hand on her lower back and reached past her and grabbed the strainer. When he turned to give it to her, their eyes met, and for a long moment, they held each other’s gaze. Y/n’s tongue swept across her bottom lip, drawing Matthew’s eyes to her mouth. Taking a shaky breath, he reached up and cupped her face. 

Swallowing hard before he spoke, Matthew quietly asked, “Does your offer still stand?”

Y/n looked up at him with large eyes and nodded twice and said, “yes. One- time deal.”

“Okay, one-time…”

Needing nothing else, he crashed his mouth against hers, and lifted her up, placing her on the counter. His hands were all over her body, he couldn’t get enough. Finally, they settled in her hair, not letting her escape him. When she wrapped her legs around his waist and started to frantically tear at his belt, he suddenly became nervous and grabbed her hands, earning him a sound of frustration from Y/n.

“Wait… wait, can we slow down... maybe go to my bedroom?” he asked, laughing nervously.

Biting her lip, Y/n nodded her head, and said, “Yes, we can go as slow as you want… that’s fine.”

Smiling at her, he lifted her off the counter again and let her feet touch the floor. Y/n then grabbed his hand and led him to his bedroom. When he entered the room behind her, she reached over and turned on the light and then turned to face him. Smiling at him, she lifted her shirt above her head and pushed her pants down her legs. Stepping out of the pooled fabric, she kicked it to the side and then stood, naked in front of him. 

Slowly, he let his eyes move across the body he had dreamt of for well over a decade. She was more beautiful than he ever imagined. She was made of soft curves and smooth skin. With a shaky hand, he reached out and brushed her hair behind her shoulder, causing her to shiver. 

“You can touch me,” she whispered.

“I’m scared that if I do, you’ll fade away like a mirage,” looking up into her eyes, he whispered, “You’re so beautiful.”

His words made her slightly uncomfortable, but good at the same time. While she may not agree with him, she was happy he felt that way. Reaching out to take his hand, she placed it on her breast and rose up on her toes, pulling his head down to kiss him, softly. Stepping close to her, he gently massaged her breast, pulling a moan from her lips. The noise gave him a little more confidence, as her pinched and rolled her hardened nipple between his long fingers. The pleasure he was causing through her breasts was shooting down to her pussy, making her extremely wet with need. Taking his other hand, she placed it so he was cupping her sex, and pulling away, she begged, “Touch me.”

With a tremor in his voice, he asked, “How? What if I do it wrong?”

Smiling sweetly at him, she took the hand that was still on her breast and walked him over to his bed. Her hands found the hem of his shirt and said, “Arms up,” as she pulled it over his head. Her hands once again started to unbuckle his belt and pants, pushing them down with his boxers. She then let her eyes roam his body. When she saw his cock, she lifted an eyebrow and licked her lips, giving him a smirk.

“Slap my ass and call me Miss Cleo, because I must be psychic. I really called it the first day we met.” Reaching forward, she wrapped her hand around his cock and slowly gave it a couple pumps, causing him to close his eyes and moan, before quickly grabbing her wrist. 

“If you don’t stop, I’m going to cum.”

Falling to her knees, she looked up and said, “Trust me, that won’t be a bad thing. Let's just get that first one out of the way. It will help you later, I promise.” 

Nodding nervously, he let go of her wrist and watched as Y/n gave the tip of his cock a gentle lick, causing him to gasp. His hips jerked on their own accord as she wrapped her lips around his head and sucked. His breathing became loud and labored as she bobbed her head up and down his length. He had imagined her doing this so many times, but it was no comparison to the real thing. As his moans became louder and his legs started to shake, he started to tap on Y/n’s shoulder. He was about to cum and she just took him deeper into her mouth. She had barely been down there two minutes, and he came harder than he ever had before. Calling her name, and bucking his hips, she just held on to his ass and swallowed everything he gave her. As she pulled away and stood up, Matthew collapsed onto his bed.

Wiping her mouth, Y/n crawled onto his bed and ran her fingers through his hair, while he caught his breath. She smiled to herself as she realized how long his hair was getting. She could do this for the rest of her life… but then, she remembered. This is a one- time deal. Sighing, she pulled her hands from his hair and flopped down onto her back. 

Sensing a change in her mood, Matthew turned his head to look at her, and discovered his face was level with her tits. Licking his lips, he slowly turned so he was on his stomach and took a nipple in his mouth. Y/n gasped, not expecting Matthew to do that, but she wasn’t complaining, either. His mouth was surprisingly talented and for a second time that day, she imagined what it would be like to have his face between her legs. 

She was pulled from her thoughts when he stopped what he was doing, and asked her a question, but her head was still too foggy to process it.

Taking in her confused expression, he chuckled and asked again, “Is what I’m doing okay?”

She must’ve understood him this time, because she bit her lip and nodded, before requesting, “More.”

Smiling at her, he cupped her other tit while he continued to suck on her nipple.

“Switch, baby,” she instructed, and he did as told, looking up at her. 

Slowly, he moved his hand lower and brushed his fingers along the outside of her pussy lips. He watched her face closely, and when he finally dipped between her moist folds, her hips bucked and her nails dug into his back. Releasing her nipple with a pop, he sat up on his knees and situated himself so he could get a better look at her pussy. Tilting his head as he spread her lips, he flicked his eyes up to her face to make sure what he was doing was okay. When she smiled and nodded her head, he continued in between her legs, and located first, her clit causing her to gasp and her hips lift as he applied a circling pressure. His fingers then fell from her bud and found her entrance and looked back up at her. 

“Please don’t stop. I’ll let you know if you’re doing something I don’t like. Just please, don’t stop touching me.”

He first added one finger, then Y/n requested more, so he added another. Slowly, he started to pump his fingers in and out, while, with his other hand, he used this thumb to rub her clit.

“Crook your fingers, Matthew, and go a little faster. What you're doing to my clit is perfect… that is endless, you want to try and use your mouth.”

Matthew looked at her with a mischievous glint in his eyes, before he pulled out his fingers. He licked one of his fingers, sampling her taste. Closing his eyes, he moaned and sucked both his fingers clean.

“You taste so fucking good.”

He then hurriedly laid himself on his stomach, and started to kiss the insides of her thighs, working his way to her sex.

Y/n was starting to squirm, it was taking him so long to get to where she needed him. When his tongue started to tease the entrance of her pussy, her fingers dug into the bed sheets as she released a long moan.

Licking tentatively at first, Matthew probed her entrance with his tongue, trying to get more of her taste. He then flattened his tongue before dragging it up along her slit and began to experiment with different ways to stimulate her clit. 

He knew when he had found her favorite moves, because she would stiffen and grab his head while her legs would start to shake. As praises and curse words started to slip past her lips, he inserted his fingers and did as she instructed, earlier, crooking his long fingers, he quickly thrusted them in and out of her slit. She literally lost it. The sounds and her movements had him instantly hard again, as he pumped his fingers within her pussy, he couldn’t help but dry hump the bed beneath him.

He was so fucking good at this, she literally felt like she was about to explode. He was hitting a spot within her walls she didn’t know existed, and it was exquisite. As he sucked on her clit and mercilessly fingered her, she rolled her hips and tried her best not to grind herself into his face. She was getting so close and when she reopened her eyes, she found him staring up at her from between her legs, his pupils blown with lust. Raising up on her elbow she reached down and thread her fingers through his hair.

“You’re so good at this, baby. Oh, fuck… don’t stop…please. Oh… yes, just like that. Shit… Matthew. You’re gonna make me cum baby! Oh.. oh…. Shiiiit!” Her head flew back and her legs quaked, as she came in a way she had never before. She felt a tidal wave of fluid shoot from her, bathing Matthew. She heard him squeak in surprise, and pulled back suddenly. That had never happened to her before and she was a little embarrassed at first, but when she looked up at Matthew to apologize, he stared at her with wonder and excitement. 

“Did you just squirt?” he asked, with a growing smile.

“Umm… it does appear that way, why… I’m sor-“  
“That was amazing, why didn’t you tell me you could do that?”

“I- I didn’t know I could. It’s never happened before.”

She laughed at his boyish excitement. He was sitting on his heels, smiling with pride. God, he was deliciously hot. Even if he didn’t know it half the time. 

Flopping back down on her back and letting her body go limp, she blew out a large breath of contentment. Y/n smiled, sliding her hands over her face and giggled. She then felt Matthew’s tongue on her pussy again, and she snapped her legs shut and tried to squirm away.

“Oh.. oh, too much,” she said frantically, causing him to chuckle and apologize.

“Sorry, I just wanted to taste you again,” he said crawling up the bed to lay next to her.

He watched as she still tried to even out her breathing. Y/n was like a fucking goddess. She was painfully beautiful and he had to touch her. So he ran his hand along her body, starting at her thigh, moving up to her hips and flat tummy. His hand then slid along her ribs, pulling a giggle from her lips. She turned to look at him, and he smiled softly as he gently cupped and massaged her breast. Swallowing, he leaned forward and slowly kissed her mouth as his hand slid over her clavicle, along her neck and to the back of her head. As their kiss intensified, his grasp tightened on her hair and he moaned into her mouth. 

Pulling away, he quietly asked, “Can I get on top of you?”

Smiling softly, she nodded, and he carefully crawled over her body. They then continued to kiss and Matthew gently rocked his hips. As his cock rubbed along the inside of her thigh, she spread her legs wider, trying to give him a silent invitation. 

Shifting his hips a little, the tip of his cock started to slide along the outside lips of her pussy and when she scooted down a little he breached her folds, causing him to press his forehead against hers and moan.

“Matthew, you ready?”

He just nodded his head. He watched as she reached down between them, and guided his cock along her folds to collect her moisture and then positioned him at her entrance. Looking back up at her, he leaned down to gentle kiss her as he slowly sank into her warm depths. He pulled in a ragged breath once he was completely buried within Y/n.

Swallowing, he rasped in a shaky voice, “You’re so tight… warm… fuck, that feel good. Is this okay?”

Licking then biting her lip, she tried her best not to move her hips and let him get used to how she felt.

“Yes Matthew, it’s perfect. You move when you’re ready,” she said, reaching up to push the hair out of his face.

He closed his eyes and leaned into her hand before ducking down to capture her lips in a slow kiss. Slowly, he pulled his hips back, leaving just the head of his cock within her and then, just as slowly, pushed all the way back in and moaned.

“Fuck..” 

He started to increase his pace and his breathing became labored. With each thrust she would rock her hips to meet his. She was moaning and arching into him and he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Y/n, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m gonna last long,” he said, starting to shake.

“Shhh… it’s okay baby. Just slow down or stop moving. Just take a take a minute.”

Nodding his head, he buried himself deep inside of her and stopped moving, but reached down to rub her clit. 

Y/n gasped and her walls fluttered around him, causing him to grunt. He once again captured her lips with his and tried to show her how much he loved her.

In this moment, he hoped she would change her mind. But just in case she didn’t, and this was the only chance he would ever get to make love to her, he was going to make the most of it. 

Feeling like he had come off the edge, he kissed her one more time before sitting up on his heels and began to watch as his cock moved in and out of her pussy.

“God, this is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Getting up on her elbows, Y/n looked down at where they were connected and smiled. She reached down and started to rub her clit and roll her hips as he sped up his thrusts. Her head was thrown back and her mouth hung open as she squeezed her eyes shut. 

He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He kept looking back and forth between them and her face. He was getting close again, but he could feel her getting tighter around him so he did what he had seen in movies. He hooked her legs over his shoulders and pushed them to her chest as he leaned over her and quickened his pace so he was now slamming into her. He smiled when he saw how shocked she was by his move. She definitely liked it, though.

She reached down around her hips and grabbed his ass as he started to fuck her harder. With the new angle, he bottomed out with each thrust and he continually hit her sweet spot. She could feel the pressure building and started to rub her clit again.

Breathing heavy, she began to beg, “Please… Matthew, baby… please I need to feel you… oh god. I’m so fucking close!”

Squeezing her eyes shut, her whole body began to shake and her mouth hung open in a silent scream as her walls clamped down on his cock.

Matthew moaned as he felt her spasm around him, pushing him over the edge. His thrusts became shallow and uneven as he emptied within her. When his orgasm had run its course, he lowered her legs and buried his face in the crook of her neck and listened as her breathing steadied. She reached up and rubbed her hand down his back and kissed his temple. 

“You okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, just trying to regain movement of my limbs,” he said, with a breathy chuckle.

Y/n smiled at him, “That was actually pretty amazing. Are you sure you were a virgin?”

Matthew chuffed and rolled off of Y/n, causing them both to moan as he slipped from her. “Yeah, I’m pretty fucking sure. I’ve watched a lot of porn and I had a great instructor,” he said, turning his head to smile at her. 

Returning his smile, she asked, “So, how does it feel to officially not be the oldest virgin alive?”

Playfully glaring at her, he pushed her shoulder and said, “Shut up…. And also, awesome.”

She giggled and he pulled her in for a kiss. It wasn’t long before the kiss became heated, and once again, Matthew grew hard. 

Pulling away from her lips, he whispered, “I wanna see you on top of me.”

Y/n smiled sadly and whispered, “One-time…”

Pulling her so she was on top of him he said, “We haven’t left the bed yet, so technically this is still the one-time.”

As she straddles his hips and slowly lowered herself onto him, she rolled her eyes and shook her head, chuckling at Matthew’s logic. She then started to rock as she leaned forward and kissed him deeply. 

******

They didn’t leave his bed for almost four hours, thus turning one-time into three. 

Matthew had hoped that this time together had changed her mind and showed her how good it could be if they were together again. She had even fallen asleep, cuddled against his side and kissed him goodnight.

But when he woke in the middle of the night, the bed next to him was cold and Y/n was gone. Grabbing his boxers he slipped them on and walked out into the living room. He looked over to her door and it was shut. Slowly walking over, he put his hand on the knob to turn it but it was locked.

He felt his heart shatter. There was no clearer meaning then that she was serious. It truly was a one-time thing. He had done everything he could to show how much he loved her and how great it would be if she just let it happen, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to budge. 

As he walked back to his room, tears started to run down his face. He just made a horrible mistake. One he wasn’t sure he would be able to survive.


	7. Part 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 14 year old Matthew befriends the strange new girl that just moves to town after she stands up to some jocks who are bullying him. Their friendship develops into crushes and as soon as they admit it the reader’s family suddenly moves away. Several years later Matthew is starting his first day of shooting on CM and when he walks into the prop department guess who works there… the reader! They rekindle their friendship. It only gets complicated after Reader offers to help Matthew practice for his very first kissing scene

When Y/n first woke, the first thing she saw when she slowly opened her eyes was Matthew’s sleeping face. Their noses were almost touching and his hair was all over the place. He looked so young when he was sleeping. He also had his arm draped over her waist. 

She laid there for a long time, just memorizing his face. With her eyes, she traced the sharp line of his jaw, the curve of his bottom lip, and slope of his ridiculously adorable button nose. He had grown into the most breathtaking example of a man. She could completely understand how he would have been scouted by a modeling agent. As she silently gazed upon his face, a small smile played across her lips. 

But it didn’t last long, because she knew she would never do this again. She was so tempted to wake him with a kiss, and once again invite him into her body. But she knew that it would be less painful if she just left now. It was a one-time deal. They were now friends and nothing more. She just took solace in the belief that she had given him a better first time then her own. 

Biting her lip and fighting back her tears, she gently brushed the hair from his forehead and placed the gentlest of kisses in the middle. Carefully, she slipped out from underneath his arm and collected her clothes. Just before slipping through his door, she turned and took one last look at his sleeping form.

Once she was back in her room, she closed the door and locked it. Turning, she put her back to the door, and as she started to crumble, she slid down along the smooth wood to the floor. Y/n then curled in on herself and her body shook as she sobbed. 

At first, she had tried to pretend in her mind that it was her first time too. The way it would have been when they were younger, but it didn’t work. She was far too experienced to fool her mind.

What she wouldn’t give to go back in time. To start all over. She would have never trusted West. Never would have snuck out to go to that party. She would have never taken that drink from him or let him lead her to that room. Or let him do to her what he did behind that closed door. She was stupid, and the choices she made took the one thing she wanted the most and flushed it down the toilet. 

Once her tears had subsided, she crawled across her room and pulled out the cardboard box hidden beneath her bed. Opening it, Y/n pulled out an unopened bottle of vodka. Standing, she kicked the box back under bed, causing various bottles to clank together, and then climbed under the covers. Scooting back against the headboard, she opened the bottle and brought it to her lips and tipped it back. 

Looking at her clock, she saw that it was almost 3:00 am and sighed. She was about to lift the bottle to her mouth again, when she heard movement outside her bedroom door. She froze and waited to hear if he would call out her name. When the knob started to wobble once, then twice, she wasn’t sure what to do. 

Silently, she slipped off her bed and tiptoed to the door. She gently placed her hand on the cool wood and leaned her ear against the grain. It was dead quiet on the other side and she thought for sure he had left, then she heard the wavering intake of breath. It was a sound he only made when he was crying. Pulling her head away from the door, she stood there a moment weighing her options, but just as she was about to unlock her door, she heard his shut. Slowly, she pulled her hand back and let it hang at her side. Slumping her shoulders with the weight of her guilt, Y/n brought the bottle back up to her lips and turned back to her bed.

******

When Matthew woke with swollen eyes the next morning, the apartment was silent and still. Noting the time, he realized he had slept well into the afternoon. Collecting some clothes, he exited his room and headed toward the bathroom. On his way through the living room, he grabbed his script, and when he stood, he couldn’t help but look back at her room. Sighing, he turned and entered the bathroom.

Shutting the door behind him, Matthew relieved himself, and then plugged the tub and started to run the water. As he waited for the tub to fill, his mind wandered back to Y/n. Maybe he had overreacted last night about her going back to her room. It really wasn’t fair of him to get upset about her still just wanting to be friends, even if he desperately wanted more. It was an unspoken stipulation of the deal. One- time only. Her leaving the room would otherwise be expected. It just hurt, because no matter how hard he tried to ignore it or push it down, he loved her. He wanted to be with her. He would bet every penny he had that she did too, but for some reason, something was holding her back. Making her resist it. He could see how unhappy she was, even when she smiled. It never truly reached her eyes. 

Shutting off the water, Matthew removed his boxers and slipped beneath the warm water. Sighing, he tried to let it relax him. Tipping his head back in the tub ledge, Y/n was still heavy on his mind. He just wished she would open up to him like she used to. That she would tell him what it was that haunted her. He knew she felt guilt over breaking the promise, but deep down he knew it was more than that. He just wanted to hold her and help heal what was eating at her. He wanted to make her happy, again.

Leaning over the tub, he grabbed his script and opened it up. Maybe, studying his lines would get her off his mind.

******

Y/n had heard Matthew exit his room and enter the bathroom. She was nervous that he was going to come to her room and want to talk, but she just wasn’t really ready for all that. She had not found sleep since returning to her room, and if she were to be honest, she was slightly past tipsy at this point. She wasn’t sure she would be able to stay strong if she saw him. She was also feeling a lot of anxiety, because their evening together had dredged up a lot of old painful memories.

She just couldn’t get the events that lead to the loss of her own virginity out of her mind. Or the consequences that had followed.

She had never intended to sleep with West, nor did she want to in the moment. She was so set in rebelling against her mother from ripping her away from Matthew, that she was doing everything she could to misbehave. So when West, a boy who she thought had become a pretty good friend, invited her to a high school party, she agreed that she would sneak out and meet him there. What she didn’t know at that time was that West didn’t want to just be her friend; he wanted much more from her. Something he knew he wouldn’t get freely after she had opened up to him about her promise to Matthew. 

At first, the party was really fun. She didn’t think twice to take the beers he had given her. He was her friend and she had trusted him. But then, he started to get really handsy and she started to feel really off. She had told him that she didn’t feel right and maybe she should go home. He had insisted that she just needed to lay down and it would all be okay. So he had lead her upstairs and… well, she became a stupid teenage girl stereotype. A fucking after school special. If she had never gone to that party… last night would have been her first time, too. She knew without a doubt. But things just got worse from there. Not only did he steal the one thing that mattered most to her, he also left her a little parting gift that she had discovered four weeks later. That was something else she had hoped to only share with Matthew, someday. Just another trauma to add to the shit pile that was her life. 

Of course, her mother was disappointed in her, because she never told her what had happened with West. She had just bottled it up and lived with the mistake she had made. Her mother ended up bringing her to a clinic and they never spoke of it again. The only person she had told about West was eventually her brother when they were much older. 

She may have been young, but there was one thing in her life she was sure about, and that was that she and Matthew belonged together. She had made a plan the day they drove away for Vegas. The farther they got, the deeper her pain, and the greater the anger she felt for her mother. From that point on, she wasn’t going to make it easy for her mother, and the day she turned 18 she was going to leave and return to Nevada and the boy who had her heart, and they would start their life together like they were always meant to. But in one night of spiteful stupidity, she had destroyed it all. 

After everything, she was filled with so much shame and guilt, that it had taken over her life. She started to secretly drink and experiment with drugs. The damage was done and her mother had promptly put her on birth control, so Y/n didn’t give much thought to messing around with boys or girls, for that matter. By time she turned 18, she had hoped that she never saw Matthew again. She had betrayed him with her stupidity and he deserved someone who wouldn’t get themselves into the situation she had. Someone who hasn’t done the things she has done. 

When their paths had crossed again, she had so many mixed feelings. She couldn’t help but be happy to have him in her life again, but at the same time, she felt like she had disappointed him because she wasn’t the same girl she was when she was forced from Vegas.

And once again, she felt like she had hurt him with her selfish stupidity. Which is what it was, selfish. She knew how he felt about her, and what last night would mean for him. She also knew that when it was all said and done, she would inevitably pull away and close him off as a way to “protect” him from her. She just wanted to be with him and she didn’t want Vivian to take what she felt was hers. Even if she, herself, was the least deserving of it. If she was a bigger person, she would be happy that he found someone who wasn’t broken and damaged. Someone who didn’t run to the bottle every time things got difficult.

Like now, here she sat, locked in her room with a box full of booze and a half empty bottle of vodka, hiding from her best friend, the man she loved, because she didn’t want to see the pain in his eyes when she squashed the hope she knew she created the night before.

Which is why she was now scrolling through her phone contacts, trying to find an escape route. She had to get out of the apartment and if she worked fast, she could be gone before he got out of the tub. Matthew was known for his epically long baths.

Y/n paused on Kathryn. She hadn’t told Matthew everything about their relationship, or how they meet. While she was the head of the props department, she was also her friend, as well as her AA sponsor. They had met about a year and a half ago at a meeting. She had gotten her third DUI and instead of jail time, she got mandatory AA meetings, community service, lost her license, and had six months probation. 

She had stayed sober for about seven months, but then things with Ian started to get bad after she had decided to move in with him. So she started to drink again. She didn’t find a reason to stop until she moved in with Matthew. She had something to motivate her to do better, but then Vivian happened and the tail spin began, again. 

She had thought she’d been hiding it pretty well from Kathryn, but the last couple of weeks, she has been watching Y/n pretty close and constantly asking her to come back to meetings with her. She didn’t really want to have to admit to Kathryn that she had fallen off the wagon. She put a lot of faith in her giving her the props job and was worried she would be in danger of losing it. So she kept scrolling until she landed on Rick. 

Rick would pick her up and let her hang out until she could work up the courage for the inevitable discussion she and Matthew would have. Quickly, she sent Rick a text message, asking if he could pick her up, that she needed to get out of the apartment for a little while. Clear her head. It didn’t take long for him to message her back. He was off work that day and wanted to know if she wanted to hang at the bar. While she knew she probably shouldn’t, being she’d had already cleared half a bottle on her own, she agreed. A little liquid courage never hurt anyone. She sent her address and told him to give her twenty minutes before he headed her way. 

Hoping off her bed, she grabbed her favorite pair of jeans off the floor and went to the closet to grab a purple flowy spaghetti strap top. After getting dressed, she put on some light makeup and pulled her hair up in a loose bun. She didn’t normally wear perfume, but since she wasn’t going to get a chance to shower, she applied a little. She just needed to brush her teeth and put on deodorant, but they were in the bathroom…where Matthew still was.

Sighing, she left her room and stood outside the bathroom door. Her plan was to pop in, grab what she needed and pop back out. It was simple. Taking a deep breath she raised her hand and knocked.

******

Matthew had been studying his script when his phone buzzed. Putting his script on the floor next to the tub, he grabbed his phone. It was Vivian. She was asking if he wanted to go out for dinner sometime this week. Was she asking him on a date? He was about to ask, but then stopped. He actually felt a little weird texting with Vivian, now that he and Y/n slept together. 

Even though Y/n made it very clear it was a one time thing and that they would remain just friends, part of him felt that going out with Vivian so soon could possibly hurt her feelings. A.J. did say that Y/n’s odd behavior before, could be jealousy. Which, to be honest, made him wonder if the only reason Y/n had offered to sleep with him was because part of her didn’t want Vivian to be the one he lost his virginity to. Either way, he decided to wait and respond to Vivian’s request at a later time.

Just as he was putting down his phone and reaching for his script , there was a light tap on the door and it slightly cracked open.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt your bath, but can I quickly sneak in and grab my toothbrush and deodorant?”

“Yeah, go head.”

Y/n quickly entered the bathroom, shielding her eyes from the bathtub with her hand as she grabbed what she needed from the sink.

Matthew started to laugh, thinking it was funny that she was covering her view of him, considering how they spent the previous night. She literally had his dick in her mouth no less than three times, and now she was acting like she hadn’t even seen him naked before. 

His laughter quickly died down though, when he realized that she was dressed up and she had makeup on and her hair done up.

“Where are you going?” he asked her as she was about to slip out the door.

Pausing, and without turning around, she said, “Out with a friend,” and then she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Scowling, Matthew stood up and quickly threw on his kimono and hurried after her. Stepping out into the living room, he heard her running water in the kitchen. Standing in the entryway, he watched as she brushed her teeth at the sink.

“Which friend?”

Y/n screeched as she jumped, not knowing he was behind her. With her hand on her chest, she spit out her tooth paste and said, “Shit, Gube! Give me a fucking heart attack, why don’t you! Why are you out of the tub and why is your face all pinched like that?” she asked, waving her toothbrush at him, before turning back to finish. She knew why though, and she was trying really hard to play it off like it was nothing. It really wasn’t anything, but she knew that he wouldn’t feel that way.

“Don’t try and distract from my question. Who are you going out with? Because from here, it looks more like you’re going on a date,” Matthew snapped. 

“Well, it’s not. And even if it was, you wouldn’t have a say in it,” Y/n snapped back, getting annoyed with his tone.

Matthew stood there silent. He was pissed and she still hadn’t answered his question. She was right, he didn’t have a say, but she clearly didn’t want to tell him who she was going out with. 

She spit into the sink again and rinsed her mouth, before turning around to face him. Sharing the look on his face, she couldn’t help but get a little defensive.

“What?”

His nose flared, and he said through clenched teeth, “You could have at least let my sheets cool down before you crawled into the next warm bed.”

Staring at him in shock, Y/n was speechless. Did he just imply she was a slut? Shaking her head, she laughed in disbelief.

“You know what? I may be a lot of things, but a slut isn’t one of them!”

“Coming from the girl who was quick to break our promise. Tell me, after the first time, how many more were there after that?” he asked. He knew he was out of line the moment it left his mouth, and saw the way her demeanor changed. Gone was her anger, and in its place was pain.

Sadly, she looked down, her eyes filling with tears. 

“So the truth comes out. That’s really what you think of me? You don’t know everything about me. About the things that have happened, things I could have avoided, sure, but for you to say that to m-“

He cut her off with an apology, “Y/n, I’m sorry! That’s not what I think ab-“

“NO! Stop! You don’t get to back peddle now! Fuck you, Matthew! You know what? It really wasn’t a date, but now, maybe it is. And just so you know, I’m going out with Rick, because he is my friend and I can talk to him about things that I don’t feel comfortable talking to you about.”

Matthew’s shame for what he said was quickly replaced with anger again, when he heard her say Rick’s name.

“You know why he listens to you? it’s because he wants to fuck you. That’s it. That’s all. That’s why you drink for free, too. He’s just waiting for you to let him in your pants!”

Shaking her head, smiling spitefully, she said, “Trust me, he has had many opportunities to get in my pants. I have been passed out drunk on his couch more times than I can count, and if there is one thing I learned at 15, it’s that if a guy really wants in your pants, that’s the perfect time to do it!” Tears were now leaking down her cheeks, ruining her makeup. 

Matthew’s eyes grew large as the fight drained out of him. Did she just? He started breathing hard as an overwhelming amount of guilt and shame slammed into him. He quickly walked toward Y/n to hug her, and beg her to forgive him. To tell her how sorry he was, but the second his hand made contact with her arm, his head snapped to the side with a resounding slap.

“Don’t you dare touch me!” She stepped back and walked around him and toward the living room, leaving him standing there, shocked.

Turning to face him once more, she said, “Just so you know, last night brought up a lot of painful shit for me, and I just needed to get out. I was feeling like the walls were closing in on me. I just needed to get out for a couple hours. But, I couldn’t explain that to you without telling you what those painful things were. I just wasn’t ready, so, thanks for that.”

He turned to look at her when she started talking again. The longer she talked, the more of an asshole he realized he was. He let his insecurities and jealousy take over, and he turned it into anger, which he flung at her, thoughtlessly. 

As there was a knock on the door, and as she turned to leave, a horrible thought formed in his mind and it shot out of his mouth without thinking.

“Was it your first time?”

She paused and looked over her shoulder, but said nothing. She didn’t need to. He already knew, and as his heart shattered, she walked out the door with Rick.

*****

The ride to the bar so far was silent. Rick could feel the tension and anger rolling off of Y/n. 

“So… is everything okay?”

She turned her head and gave him a pointed look, before crossing her arms over her chest, and turning her head to continue looking out the passenger side window. 

“Okay… so, no. This isn’t going to be a very fun night if you don’t talk about it…”

Huffing, she said, “ I’m not really looking for fun at this point, I just don’t want to be in that apartment with him right now.”

“Oh shit! What did good old Matty do?”

Scowling at Rick, she snapped, “Don’t call him that! And I don’t want to talk about it. He’s just being an asshole.”

Lifting his hand up in surrender, he said, “Okay, sorry. But, I gotta say, my interest is even more peaked now, cause I know he is an asshole. Question is, why do you now think that? Because, Matthew seems like one of those annoyingly, overly nice people. Like, he would say sorry to you, even if you punched him in his stupid perfect face.”

When Y/n didn’t say anything, he glanced over at her and said that she was staring at him like he had an extra head.

“What?” he asked, turning his attention back to the road.

“Nothing, that was just oddly specific. Like you’ve actually imagined how punching his ‘stupid perfect face’ would go down.”

“Okay, I’ve imagined punching him. He annoys me.”

“Well, trust me when I say you are low on his list of favorite people as well.”

“What? Why?”

“Fuck if I know… jealousy is what I’m guessing. He sees you as competition.”

“Competition for what?”

“Me… he think you want to fuck me… do you?”

Laughing nervously, Rick avoided answering her question by asking his own.

“I thought you two were only friends... Best chums and all that. Why does he care if someone would want to hook up with you?”

Rolling her eyes at his avoidance, she sighed and explained, “We are way more complicated than that. When we were younger, we used to date and even fell in love. We made a promise to each other, and then my mom made us move and I didn’t see him again until that day Ian practically dragged me from the bar by my hair, like a caveman.”

“So, are you still in love? And if so, then why didn’t you start dating again? I don’t get it. I mean, I can’t stand him. He acts like a giant 10 year old, but he is a hell of a lot better than most of the guys you’ve dated.”

Sighing again, Y/n squirmed in her seat. The question being one she didn’t want to get into. 

“We just aren’t. Things are complicated. He deserves better than me. Trust me.”

“But do you still love him?”

Y/n was silent for a really long time. As she stared out the window she quietly said, “I never stopped, but it's not enough.”

“Okay, so how is he an asshole again?”

“Because he was jealous and angry, and said some really mean shit and I feel like I now know how he sees me and it hurts…. Even if it is how I see myself. Maybe he’s right?”

“But what set this all off? You’ve gone out without him before, and he was fine. Also, isn’t he talking to some chick?”

“Yeah, Vivian… I think today was more about the timing and I probably should have been more up front with him. But, I was worried about hurting his feelings.”

“Why would it hurt his feelings? You’re leaving something out and I feel like it's the key to understanding everything that is going on here.”

Closing her eyes, she quietly confessed, “We slept together last night. That promise we made as kids was that we would be each other’s first. He kept his side of the promise.”

Rick was quiet while he processed what she said, “Wait… you mean he… he was a virgin? Until last night?”

With tears in her eyes, she nodded her head.

“Shit…”

“Yeah, so I just need to get drunk, because I told him it was a one-time deal. And it also brought back a lot of painful memories from when I was younger, and he just made it so much worse. So please, let’s just get to the bar.”

*****

Matthew didn’t know what to do. It felt like the floor had fallen out from beneath him. He wouldn’t be surprised if she never walked back through that door. What he had said to her was unforgivable as far as he was concerned. He had never been like that to anyone. He doesn’t understand how he let himself get so angry. 

Walking back to the bathroom. He unplugged his tub, changed into his clothes and collected his phone and script. Walking back into the living room, he tossed his script and phone on the table, plopped onto the couch and covered his face with his hands. He has so royally fucked up. 

All these images of what could have happened to her keep flying through his mind. Each one made him a little more nauseous. If there was one downfall to working on Criminal Minds, it was the knowledge that most of the stories they filmed were based off of real events and the images he had seen, though, not real, kept flashing through his mind. 

He had thought this whole time she had chosen to break their promise, but now he knew the option was taken from her. And he had implied she was a slut. He wanted to cry, but he didn’t have the right. He had to find a way to make it up to her.. He just didn’t know how.

While trying to rack his brain for a way to fix this, his phone dinged. Hoping that it was Y/n, he shot forward and grabbed his phone off the table in front of him. He sighed when he saw it was only Vivian. Opening her text, it just said: “Hello?” Fuck, he had to figure out a way to stall. He needed to fix this thing with Y/n before he went on a date. Maybe if he made it for the end of the week, and if needed he could just call her and change it. Sighing, he typed in his replay and hit send. He had told her Saturday would be best due to a busy filming week.

Shit, he really needed to study his lines. He had barely passed the first page, and by now, he was usually near the end. He was going to have to push the whole thing out of his mind for now and buckle down. He will figure it out. Now just wasn’t the time. Picking up his script, he leaned back on the couch and started to study.

******

Matthew was awoken on the couch by a loud commotion outside his apartment door. Looking at the clock on his phone, he realized it was 2:00 am. Standing up to go answer it, his script fell to the floor. 

“Shit,” he said, bending to pick it up and then tossing it onto the table. 

Walking to the door, he could hear Y/n laughing and the clearly annoyed voice of Rick. Unlocking the door and swinging it open, he was greeted with the sight of an extremely drunk Y/n laying on the floor of the apartment hall, laughing, while Rick tried to dig through her bag to find what he assumed to be her keys. Looking up at Matthew, he mumbled, “Oh, thank god,” and tossed her bag through the door just past Matthew. He then leaned down to pull Y/n to a standing position.

Gently shoving her at Matthew, Rick said, “Okay, your turn. Good luck!” He then patted Matthew on the arm and took off. 

Still trying to process everything that just happened, Matthew shut the front door and locked it. Looking down at Y/n, who had her arms wrapped around the back of his neck and was incoherently mumbling something, he signed.

“I can’t understand what you're saying,” he said, gently pushing the hair from her face.

She giggled at the feel of his fingers brushing her face and he gave her a small smile. 

With a heavy slur, Y/n repeated what she said louder, “Sorry I slapped you.” She then started to drunkenly pet his face. “So pretty,” she said giggling.

“Okay.. don’t worry about it. I deserved it. Let’s get you to bed,” he reassured, trying to move her toward her room.

“No… wait! Wait!..... I need to pee,” she then was hit with another fit of giggles.

Chuffing a laugh, he shook his head and started to guide her towards the bathroom. Once in there, he tried to steady her on her feet and leave so she could do what she needed to do, but as soon as he let go of her arms she slid to the floor. 

“Whoops… Oh the floor is so nice and cool,” she said, flattening herself on the tile. She then started to giggle and make a slurred hissing noise before rolling onto her back and asking, “Did I just sound like a snake?”

He couldn’t help it; he burst out laughing. Shaking his head, he helped her back up to her feet and said, “Yes, you make the best snake sounds I’ve ever heard, but I thought you had to pee?”

She looked confused for a minute and then, as if it just dawned on her, she said, “You know, I think I have to pee. Oh! Look! We’re in the bathroom! Perfect…,” she then started trying to undo the fastenings of her jeans, but was too uncoordinated. Dropping her arms to her side and sagging her shoulders, she pouted at him.

He smiled adoringly at her. She was being kind of cute. God, he couldn’t love this woman anymore than he did in this moment. Reaching for her button and fly, he quickly undid them and helped her walk to the toilet. Placing her hands on his shoulders, he said, “Hold on to me,” and then, being respectful, he kept his eyes locked on hers, as he pushed her jeans and panties down low enough for her to then be lowered to the seat.

As she peed, her eyes rolled back and she smiled as she moaned. This left Matthew feeling a little guilty, then the sound she made reminded him of the ones she made the night before, and his body responded. Shifting uncomfortably, he was wondering how much pee one tiny girl could hold, but then, the trickling sound had stopped and she started to claw at the toilet paper roll on the wall.

Removing her hand, he unrolled some of the paper and handed it to her, and said, “I draw the line at wiping your butt, cute as it is, so I hope you can figure it out.”

She started to giggle again as she took the toilet paper and wiped herself. She then raised her arms in front of her and wiggled her fingers.

Shaking his head with a smile, he stepped in front of her and placed her hands back on his shoulders like before, and supported her as she stood. Reaching down without looking, he pulled up her panties and jeans. 

“Such a gentleman,” she slurred, smiling up at him as she looped her arms around his neck. She kept staring at his lips and twirling the hair at the back of his neck between her fingers. 

“Do you really think I’m a slut?” she asked, sullenly and suddenly.

He made a pained look and shook his head, quickly stating with as much sincerity he had, “No, never. I was being an ass. I was feeling insecure and jealous and I lashed out. I’m really sorry.”

Raising on her tiptoes, she gently kissed his lips. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of her soft warm lips, but when she tried to deepen the kiss, he gently pulled back and shook his head no.

“You’re very drunk and I’m pretty certain that if you weren’t, you wouldn’t agree to that.”

Pouting, she whined, “Sober me is such a drag.” 

Laughing, he said, “Yeah, she can be, but I love her and respect her. Now, let’s go get you in bed, so you can sleep this off and drag sober you returns.”

Leading her from the bathroom and to her bedroom, he helped her sit down onto her bed. When she flopped on her back and held up her foot for him. wiggling it, he laughed.

“Is that your way of asking me to take your boot off?” he asked, as he started undoing the laces.

“Yuuup,” she said, popping her P.

After removing both her boots, he pulled her to a sitting position again, pushing her jacket off her shoulders and tossing it aside. He then walked to her dresser and pulled out a baggy t-shirt she often sleeps in, and returned as she haphazardly shimmied from her jeans. Catching the cuff at the bottom of her jeans, he yanked them down her legs, leaving her in her panties and her camisole. He then handed the t-shirt to her and turned his back as she changed. 

“All done,” she yawned.

“Okay, lay down,” he said, as he started to pull the blankets over her. “Good night. I’ll see you in the morning,” he said , before turning to leave.

“Matthew, please don’t leave! Stay with me. After tonight I just want you near me,” she said, pulling back the covers and patting the bed.

He watched her for a moment, trying to decide what to do. She seemed pretty together and lucid. And when she said please, one more time, he broke and slid into the bed next to her. She turned so they were face to face. He wrapped his arm around her middle and stared into her eyes. 

“I’m so so very sorry about what I said. I just hope that you will be able to forgive me,” he said quietly, with tears forming in his eyes.

She reached up and pushed his hair from his face and said, “I’ve already forgiven you. You would have never had said that if you had known. You had no way of knowing because I never told you. I know you love me.”

Smiling gently at her, he leaned forward and kissed her once more, and then pulled away. She smiled at him and then turned in his arms so that he was spooning her.

“When you’re ready, you can tell me. You can tell me anything… just like when we were kids.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” she said, before yawning again. “Good night, Matthew.”

“Good night, Y/n.” He then closed his eyes and pulled her tighter to him.

*****

The next morning, Matthew once again woke up alone, but he could hear the shower running in the bathroom, so he didn’t particularly mind. As he buried his face into her pillow, he decided that he definitely didn’t mind waking up surrounded by her scent. It smelled like her cherry blossom shampoo and perfume. 

Smiling, he rolled over onto his back and looked around her room. He really didn’t come in here often. She was a bit messier than he was. She was always a bit chaotic though, so he wasn’t surprised to find that her living space was as well. She had clothes strewn all over the place. Along with magazines and art supplies. He also realized that there were a lot of empty liquor bottles, too. 

Sitting up, he took count. Seven… well six empty bottles and one half- full bottle of vodka. Confused as to when she had drank all of these, being the only bottle he recognized was the whiskey bottle from yesterday. He is actually surprised that it was empty.

They both had two glasses and then she filled another, taking the bottle to her room, but there was no way she finished the rest and was still standing, much less sober enough to do what they did. Or was she drunk and he didn’t realize? That thought made him really uneasy. He would have never slept with her if he knew she was drunk and he wasn’t. Then again, if she was drunk the night before last and he couldn’t tell, then how much did she drink last night? 

Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed to get up, his heel hit something sticking out from under her bed. When he heard the recognizable sound of glass clinking together, his already worried feeling increased. Sliding off the bed , he squatted by it and pulled out a cardboard box. As he was about to open it and peer inside, Y/n entered her room wrapped in a towel. 

“What are you doing?” she yelled, rushing over to him and pushing the box back under her bed, before he got to see inside.

Standing, Matthew felt embarrassed. He felt like he just got caught snooping through her room. Which he really wasn’t trying to do. He was just a little concerned by all the bottles in her room. 

“I’m sorry, I kicked the box on accident when I was getting up. I heard glass hitting glass and I was worried I might have broken something,” he explained, even though he knew it was a lie. 

He watched as her defensive stance softened a little, before saying, “Well the stuff in that box is personal. You should have just told me and I would have checked later.”

“I didn’t see anything, I’m sorry. I really wasn’t trying to snoop,” he said, deciding to let it go when she smiled at him. It was then his brain registered that she was only in a towel and he quickly looked away and blushed. 

Smiling, Y/n saw the moment he realized she was essentially naked and how bashful he became. He was really adorable sometimes. Walking over to her closet, she selected her clothes for the day and laid them on the bed. Looking over her shoulder she realized that Matthew had been watching her every move. 

“So are you going to tell the director you were late for work because you were busy watching me get ready, or are you going to get ready yourself?” she asked with a sugary sweet smile.

Matthew’s eyes grew and he quickly shot out of the room to get himself ready for the day.

Once he was gone, Y/n pushed the box further under her bed with her foot and then got ready for the day, herself. 

****** 

The drive to work was silent. Matthew still felt they had a lot to discuss. Their night together, the fight and what she revealed; and last but not least, the box under bed that he was pretty sure was more liquor.   
She didn’t seem too interested in talking, though. 

As they pulled into his parking spot of the studio, Y/n grabbed her things and went to get out of the car, but Matthew grabbed her hand. When she turned to look at him, he seemed just as surprised at what he did. But then his eyes fell to her lips and she knew that he wanted to kiss her. Squeezing his hand gently, she said, “ I’ll see you later. I got to go,” before pulling her hand from his and leaving the car.   
Friends don’t kiss goodbye… even if they want to.

Matthew watched as Y/n walked away and disappeared into the building and sighed. He doesn’t even know why he grabbed her hand, all he knows is that once he did, the only reason was he had an intense urge to kiss her goodbye.

He is almost glad that she pulled her hand from his and left. She is clearly much stronger than him, because all that was running through his head was the two gentle kisses from last night, and the more passionate one from the night before last. If she had sat there looking at him for just a moment longer, he would have kissed her.

Closing his eyes, he laid his forehead against his steering wheel and groaned. He was almost certain she didn’t even remember the night before entirely. He thought she knew that they made up, but he’s not entirely sure she knows they kissed.

Which brought him back to the thought of all the bottles in her room. He didn’t know how to breach that topic without upsetting her. They might not be yelling at each other like yesterday, but there was definitely some tension still there. 

Matthew was lost in thought when someone banged on his driver side window, causing him to jump. On the other side of the glass was Shemar, laughing hysterically. Smiling, Matthew shook his head and exited his car.

“Ha ha, very funny.”

“Man, you jumped so high! What were you doing anyway?”

“Oh…nothing. Just thinking about some things. So, how was your weekend?”

“Good, man. How about you? Were you just thinking about that pool scene in the script?” Shemar asked, pushing Matthew’s shoulder and laughing as they walked into the building. 

“No, trust me. While I am scared shitless to film that, I have bigger things on my mind,” Matthew said as he saw Y/n across the room talking to Kathryn.

Shemar noticed where his new friend's attention was directed, and saw that Matthew seemed really tense. He pulled his eyebrows together in thought as he looked between the two. Matthew had yet to take his eyes off her and he had a look of worry, maybe pain.

“So, what’s going on there?” he asked Matthew.

Finally looking away, Matthew asked, “What?”

“Clearly something happened between you too. So what’s up?”

Matthew slightly cringed and shook his head no as he said, “Yeah, I don’t think I really want to get into it. Things have just gotten really complicated.”

Shemar looked at him with a confused look, before his eyes widened and he grabbed Matthew’s arm and dragged him to a quiet and somewhat secluded area of the room. 

“You two had sex,” he said. It wasn’t even a question, it was a statement.

Matthew stared at him in shock, his mouth opening and shutting before he could get the words out to answer.

“Yeah, but it was a one time situation. We are still just friends. She was um… helping me prepare for the pool scene, but I guess old feeling got dredged up, and it got a um.. a little out of hand.”

“But you're still just friends. What? Was it really awkward or something? You know that’s normal, right?” Shemar said, then looked around and quietly said, “You know, for your first time.”

Matthew nervously chucked and looked down, blushing. “Um… actually, I got the impression I didn’t actually do too bad. I mean, maybe at first I was a little unsure, but with her…um well, it just felt kinda natural. She was also very… instructive, so it went pretty well….until after.”

“Until after? What happened after? What, did the condom break?” Shemar asked, jokingly.

Matthew’s eyebrows shot up as he blurted out, “Condom?”

Shemar’s eyes grew comically large. “Tell me you used a condom. Does Las Vegas art schools not have Sex Ed?”

Matthew rubbed the back of his neck and nervously smiled. “I guess we didn’t think of it, but I know she’s on the pill.” 

“Babies aren’t the only thing you need to worry about, man.”

Matthew gave a ‘whatever’ look and changed the subject.

“Anyway, we got in this big argument the next day. I found some things, but not until after being the world's biggest asshole. She left, and then came back really wasted. Like, ‘she could walk and I had to help her pee’ wasted. We kinda made up and she asked me to sleep in her bed with her. But I don’t think she remembers most of it. And then, this morning, I noticed that she had empty liquor bottles everywhere in her room, and she had this box under her bed that I kicked on accident. She walked back in her room as I pulled it out, and she kinda freaked out for a moment. I’m pretty sure it was more alcohol.”

“And you’re surprised by that, why? You have been living together for how long? Four, five months? You can’t tell me you don’t know. That you’ve never noticed….”

Matthew was about to respond when they were approached by a production assistant.

“Hey guys they need you both in hair and makeup.”

Smiling, Shemar said, “Sure thing sweetheart, we are on our way.”

As they started to head there, Matthew said, “I’m not sure what you’re talking about. What should I have noticed?”

They were right in front of hair and makeup when Shemar stopped Matthew and stood in front of him. 

“Dude, she is a drunk.”

“Hey! No she’s not,” Matthew said, defensively.

Raising his hands up, Shemar said, “Hey don’t shoot the messenger. And she totally is. You’re like the only person here who doesn’t seem to know. The first day of shooting, after you ran out of there, I was getting my props and I caught her chugging out of a damn flask. I’m also pretty sure that’s not water she’s always carrying around, either. Think about it, man. How often does she go out to the bar? How often does she drink at home? And now, there are bottles all over her room and a possible box of booze under her bed? Come on, man. Wake up. I know you love her but don’t be stupid.” He then turned and entered through the door, leaving Matthew behind to think.

Matthew had a sick feeling in his stomach. What if Shemar was right? Quickly, waking through the door, he sat in the seat next to his costar and waited until they started his makeup.

“So, what does this weekend mean for you and Vivian?” Shemar asked, changing the subject. 

“I’m not really sure. It kind feels weird talking to her after everything that’s happened in the last two days. I mean, she texted me yesterday, asking me out to dinner sometime this week. I told her this Saturday, but I might cancel.”

“Whatever you do, don't cancel, man. You said it yourself, you and Y/n are still just friends.”

“Yeah, but after everything, part of me wants to wait on it and see if she changes her mind.”

“How long are you gonna wait on this girl, man? It’s been what? Twelve, thirteen years? I say you go on that date and try to move on. You never know… maybe you can build just as strong a connection with Vivian, but without all the baggage.”

Matthew sat silently with his eyebrows drawn together as he thought. Maybe Shemar was right. Maybe he should even move up the date. He should talk to Y/n first, though.

“Okay, I’m just going to talk to Y/n first. So she knows and there are no surprises.”

One of the stylist techs came over after finishing with Kristen, and started to prep Matthew. As Kristen was leaving, she said bye to both the guys, and headed over to props. She may love Shemar, but he was giving Matthew stupid advice. Matthew should forget about Vivian and fight for Y/n. Help her get better. Dating Vivian would only cause more strain in his and Y/n’s friendship, how could he not see that? She had to talk to Y/n.

*****

As she was walking into the props department, Y/n’s phone beeped. Pulling it out of her back pocket, she saw the name BenBen flash across her screen and smiled. Just the person she needed to talk to. Opening his text she read: “How are things going? Haven’t heard from you in two weeks!”

Hitting Benny’s contact number, she hit the speaker button and listened to it ring as she started her morning duties. 

“Hey, big sis! How are things going?”

“Ok, I guess…”

“Well, that was really reassuring,” Ben said, sarcastically.

Y/n sighed as she walked through the aisles of props, grabbing items that were on the list for upcoming scenes.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just, things have gotten kind of weird between me and Matthew.”

“Just got weird? I thought it’s been weird since you moved in?”

“I mean, yeah, but now it’s different. Before, it was just trying to get to know each other again, but in a platonic way. Now… now it’s just lots of tension. He started talking to this actress and then I found out that, not only had he not slept with anyone, he hadn’t even kissed other girls. Like...I’m it. The extent of all his experiences. But…,” Y/n paused, and let out another big sigh. “He got his script for this week and he freaked out because there's a kissing scene in a pool, and he hadn’t kissed anyone since me. So I suggested that we…”

“Wait, stop. Please tell me you didn’t suggest you two make out. After all the work and struggle you two have put into ‘just be friends?’” Benny waited for her response, but guessing from the long silence that is exactly what she did.

“Okay, so you guys made out and now there is all this tension, right?”

“Well… we might have done more than make out… it’s just, there are feelings and memories, and we got caught up and… I may have told him it was a one time deal. That when it was all said and done, we would still just be friends.”

“Seriously? Y/n, why do you do this? You had to have known that that would not have ended well. So what? Now things are super weird?”

“Umm… yeah. We got in a big fight. He said some really mean shit that he didn’t mean. I kinda half-ass told him about West, but not completely. He then felt like an ass. I may or may not have slapped him for it, then I left and went out with a friend. We kinda made up, when I got home, I guess I asked him to sleep in my bed... I just know I woke up and he was there, but we were both dressed so I don’t think anything happened.”

“Y/n, how do you not know if something happened or whether or not you invited him into your bed? When you went out, do you mean to a bar?”

“Ben Ben, stop. It’s not a big deal. It’s not gotten out of hand, I promise. It was just the one night. I really needed it. Okay!”

Benny hummed in disapproval. 

“That’s what you said last time, too. Before it ‘got out of hand.’”

Huffing, Y/n said, “Let it go, Benjamin.”

“So, what about this girl he’s been talking to? The actress?”

“What about her? I guess they are still talking.”

“And how are you feeling about that?”

“Like I really don’t have a place to have an opinion. You and I both know that I’m completely and utterly in love with Matthew, but he deserves someone who doesn’t do the things I do. I’m a fucking wreck. Hell, even I know it. Anyways, his career is just starting. What if he becomes famous? He is not going to want me tagging along and causing scenes, and fucking up and it ending up all over the media and internet. He is better off with her. Even if it feels like it is going to fucking kill me.”

“I should come see you. I have the week off. I can be there by tomorrow night. I can be like a bumper until the tension dies down.” 

Smiling at the thought of seeing her little brother, Y/n said, “Yes, I would love to see you! I’m so excited! Oh I can show you the prop room!”

Laughing at his sister’s excitement, Benny said, “I can’t wait. Well, I better let you get back to work. We will talk more tomorrow. Try not to do anything else stupid, please!”

Smiling, Y/n said, “I can’t make any promises. It’s clear I suck at them. Bye, Ben Ben.”

“Bye Y/n.”

As Y/n hung up her call and rounded the corner, Kirsten bumped into her and started to ramble excitedly at her.

“Oh my god! You have to tell Matthew you’re in love with him! I just heard him and Shemar talking, and he is supposed to go on a date with that Vivian girl. You two belong together, or else you would not have crossed paths again!”

It took Y/n a minute to process everything the excited blonde had said, and while it hurt to know Matthew had a date … she had to accept it was for the best.

Sighing, she shook her head and moved past Kirsten to take a sip of her “water.” 

“Good, he should go on that date. It’s for the best.”

Kristen looked at her, like she was dumb, and then she scowled and walked over to her desk and snatched up Y/n’s bottle. 

“Shemar is trying to convince Matthew to move on from you. This isn’t helping,” she said shaking the bottle. 

Y/n reached over and quickly snatched the bottle from Kirsten.

“I don’t know what you're talking about, this is water.”

“We both know that’s not water.”

Walking up behind both women, Matthew asked, “What’s not water?” He was staring at Y/n and her water bottle when he said it.

Just as Y/n was about to respond, Matthew grabbed the water bottle from her hand and as he started to unscrew it, both women stared at him with big eyes. 

“Matthew…,” Y/n said, pleadingly. 

He looked at her and sniffed the liquid in the bottle, quickly pulling back from the strong scent. Shaking his head, he screwed the cap back on and placed it on the desk, carefully.

When he looked at Kirsten, she got the hint.

“I’m just gonna grab my stuff and sign this and be out of your hair!”

Matthew, then drew his eyes to Y/n, who was looking down at the ground and wouldn’t make eye contact with him. 

As Kirsten scurried out of the props department, Matthew said, “So I guess that explains all the empty vodka bottles in your bedroom. Shemar was right. Apparently everyone knows about it, but me.”

“Matthew, it’s really not what it looks like. Trust me.”

“Why are you lying? You're caught! It’s out in the open. Is this why you won’t be with me? Also, the night we were together? Were you drunk then, too?”

“Oh my god, no, Matthew, I wasn’t drunk. Maybe a little tipsy. If anything, I was more high but not drunk. I'm not drunk now, either. I was last night though, clearly.”

“Tell me, do you even remember last night?”

“I mean, the important parts… I know we talked and made up. I mean, we must have because we were in bed together. I also, for some reason, remember something about snakes,” she said with a slightly confused face, but gave him a small smile to lighten the mood.

He wasn’t taking the bait, though. 

“The box under your bed, the ‘personal stuff,’ that’s just more bottles of booze, right?”

“I thought you didn’t see anything,” she said, as he let out a short disbelieving laugh and shook his head. 

“I didn’t, but I heard the bottles clank together.” Y/n looked away from him.

“Do you want me to move out?” she asked, quietly.

He looked at her like she was crazy. 

“No! Did I say that?”

“No!”

“So, stop saying stupid shit then…,” he sighed, and then continued, “ Look, I actually came to talk to you about something else.”

“I know, Vivian. I saw you listening to Shemar. Go on your date. Move on. It’s for the best, really.”

Looking confused, he asked, “How did you..?”

“Kirsten, she doesn’t agree with Shemar. She thinks that I should sober up and you should fight harder. I think she should mind her own business.”

“Hey, she is really sweet. She just wants us both to be happy. She isn’t wrong about the sobering up, though.”

Y/n huffed and rolled her eyes, “ Look, I’m doing better. I was way worse off before I moved in with you. I’ve really cut down. At least I had…”

“So what changed? Vivian? You started acting differently after I met her.”

“No… I don’t know, maybe?”

“So if I do go on this date, what does that mean in terms of this?” he asked, picking up the water bottle. 

Looking away, she lied, “Nothing. It will be fine. I can cut down again.”

“Can you?”

Looking him in the eye, she said, “Yes.”

He held her gaze for a long moment before signing. 

“Um, I kinda need to talk to you about something, too… Benny is coming up to see me. He will be here tomorrow night so I probably won’t be around much this week. I’m going to stay with him at his hotel.”

“Oh… okay, I’d like to see him, too. Maybe we can all get together…”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Is this because of what we did? Is it why you’re disappearing for a while?” 

“No. I just want to spend some time with him. I haven’t seen him since moving to L.A.” 

“You’ll be around tonight though, right? We can have movie night. No phones, just you, me, and a good horror movie, maybe some popcorn. We can even order in some Chinese…,” he suggested, smiling hopefully at Y/n.

She gave him a small smile. It sounded really nice, but she just didn’t think that she could. Being around him was hard already, and knowing that he knew about her drinking, she just felt really exposed and embarrassed. 

He already guessed by her silence, that she was going to turn him down. 

“Are we even still friends?”

“Yes, of course,” she reached out and grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

“So…what are you doing tonight?”

“I’m probably going to go out. I’ll be back but, probably not until late.”

He let go of her hand and shook his head.

“You’re going to the bar, again? God, it’s so blindingly clear. How did I even miss it? I feel like a fucking fool.”

Matthew walked around her to get his props and signed the clipboard, and headed toward the exit.

“Matthew…”

“No it's good. Have a great time with Rick and your bottle. Just be safe,” then, he left.

Y/n stood and stared at the door he disappeared through. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and pulled out her phone and sent a text.

*****

It had been a long day of filming, and Matthew wished that Y/n would hurry up and come out so they could head home. They hadn’t really talked again, and they didn’t eat lunch together. He knew she was going out after they got home, but he still figured he was going to give her a ride, regardless. He was leaning against his driver side door when he saw a car pull up, and he squinted, trying to see who was behind the wheel. 

Just as it dawned on him who it was, Y/n burst out of the studio door and started to walk towards the car when she noticed him standing by his car, waiting for her. They stared at each other for a moment and then Y/n turned and got into Rick's car while Matthew watched them drive off.

******

Matthew had waited up for her until 2:00 am. His pool scene was today, and he knew he was going to have to get up in four hours to get ready for work.

He had also moved his date to that night. He was angry when he did it. He had fumed all the way home from the studio, and when he got home, he had called Vivian and asked her if she would be free the next night.

As he was crawling into bed, though, he was starting to regret it, cause she sounded so excited to take the next step. She knew nothing about him and Y/n, except that they were long time friends and roommates. Was it even fair to drag her into this mess? As he dozed off, his mind had drifted back to Y/n and hoping she was out there, okay.

******

It was almost 4:00am when Matthew was awoken by someone crawling into his bed and wrapping their tiny arm around his waist. Turning, he looked down into Y/n’s sleepy eyes. Once again, she was drunk, and he could smell the scent of vodka and weed clinging to her hair and clothes.

She reached up and brushed his hair out of his face and then leaned up, connecting their lips. He kissed her back for a moment, but then pulled away. 

“Stop… you’re drunk.”

“Barely,” she said, pulling his lips back down to hers, causing him to moan. As she tried to pull him on top of her, Matthew pulled away again and sat up. Y/n crawled behind him, and got on her knees while she kissed the back of his neck and shoulders. Her arm reached down his front and she dragged her nails up his chest.

“Please… I need to be with you one more time before I give you away,” she begged, lightly biting his shoulder.

Matthew hissed and reached behind him to cup the back of her head. She licked and kissed her bite mark before crawling around in front of him and straddling his lap. 

“Please, Matthew… I need to feel you inside of me.”

Matthew was only so strong, and with the way she was grinding against his erection and her hands burning trails across his body, he couldn’t resist her any longer. Even if he knew in the depths of his brain that they were only making matters worse.

Without another thought, he ripped her shirt up over her head and flipped her so she laid beneath him. She had already removed her jeans when she had crawled into bed with him, so he pulled her panties from her body and pushed down his sleep pants. Rubbing his fingers through her folds, he collected her moisture and used it to lube his cock before settling between her legs. He then lined himself up, and roughly pushed into her waiting warmth, causing her to arch off the bed and moan his name.

The pace he set was fast and unforgiving, causing the headboard to bang against the wall and Y/n to grunt with each intrusion. He didn’t know what had come over him as he slammed mercifully into her body. It was almost as if he was using the tension, anger, and stress for the last two days to fuel his movements. 

Y/n was shocked at first, with the roughness in which Matthew was fucking her. And he was definitely fucking her. There was nothing resembling the love and tenderness of their first time. He was using her body to release all the frustrations she had caused him. She didn’t mind, though. She would take whatever he gave her. As long as he was inside her… touching her. She deserved it all. 

Y/n could feel her release coming quick, and as he locked his eyes on hers, he started to slow down his pace but the force with which drove his cock into her stayed the same. Leaning down over her, he captured her mouth in a hard, brutal kiss. It was all teeth and tongues. Like he was trying to devour her. He reached up and pinned her wrist to the bed with one hand, using his other to reach down and pinch her clit, causing her to squeal into his mouth, and her hips buck up off the bed. 

When he pulled his mouth away from her, she could see tears on his face and when she tried to free one of her hands to wipe it, he tightened his grip and pushed down harder. Until he saw a panicked look flicker across her face.

Slightly fighting against his hold, she whispered, pleadingly, “Matthew… let go, please.” He let go so fast, you would have thought her skin burned him. He stopped all his movements. Breathing hard, he watched her face for traces of any fear. 

She smiled at him, and reassured him, “I’m sorry, it’s okay. Don’t stop. I’m so close, baby.” She wiped the wetness from his face and pulled him down for another kiss. This time, it was gentler but just as desperate.

As he started to move within her again, she noticed that he wasn’t being as rough, as though he was scared he may have gone too far. 

As if on cue, he kissed along her jaw and to her ear and apologized, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, baby. I’m so sorry.” 

“No, you didn't, you're fine, Matthew, please, I need to feel you like before. Harder, baby, please.”

Groaning at her words, he pulled out and said “Turn around on your knees with your hands on the headboard.”

Smiling, Y/n quickly complied and got in the position he requested. Once situated, Matthew got behind her and pulled her hips back. Running his hand from the back of her neck, down her spin, over the curve of her waist and hips, he groaned behind her, “You’re so fucking sexy. You always have been. Every fucking curve of your body drives me mad.” 

Y/n looked over her shoulder at him, impatiently wiggled her hips, but he was just sitting back on his heels, stroking himself as he ran his hand along her skin.

“Matthew…,” she whined, desperately.

He suddenly inserted three fingers into her dripping pussy, and started to quickly pump them in and out of her, causing Y/n to moan loudly. 

Just as quickly as he started, he removed his fingers and sucked them clean.

“Scoot up a little bit, baby,” he said.

Once again, she did as he instructed. He then gripped the top of the headboard too, and his other hand roughly grabbed her hip, pulling it out again. He was suddenly inside her again., filling her completely. He was back to his hard and fast pace from before, it was just what she needed. She had to turn her head to the side as he drove both her face and chest against the headboard, which he was now using for leverage as he fucked her hard. 

Y/n was practically screaming in ecstasy by this point. The new position was allowing him to go deeper and he was hitting parts of her she didn’t even know she had. When he reached down with one of his hands, he started to circle her clit. “I’m so fucking close baby, I need to feel you come around me. Please, Y/n!” His breathing became hitched and his thrusts, erratic. 

“Yes…. Fuck Matthew… fuck, fuck, fuck…. Yes, right there don’t stop, don’t stop… fill me up Matthew. I need it.”

That’s all he had to hear as he emptied himself deep within her, causing her walls to spasm and clench around him as she screamed his name, her body shaking from her orgasm.

He leaned against her as he caught his breath, and when he pulled out of her, she gasped and then whined. He then flopped onto the bed and waited for her to join him. What he wasn’t expecting was for her to crawl on top of him and rest her head on his chest. 

Laughing quietly, he asked, “What are you doing?”

“Cuddling,” she looked up and asked, nervously, “That’s okay, right?”

He smiled at her, and nodded his head and said, “ Of course.”

Smiling, she nuzzled back into his chest.

He laid there with his eyes closed, just enjoying the weight of her body on him, lazily rubbing her back. Then he remembered the momentary fear that has flashed across her face.

“Hey Y/n…. why did that scare you?” he quietly asked, not sure if he really wanted the answer.

He felt Y/n tense above him and was about to tell her not to worry about it, when she answered in a low, far away voice.

“It just brought back a memory. It happens sometimes. I’m sorry I freaked you out. It’s stupid. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Hey, look at me. You don’t have to apologize for that. You didn’t do anything wrong either,” he said, reassuring her.

“I know this was like our last hurrah, but can you be next to me when we wake up? Just once? Please?”

She looked up at him, and he nodded his head, smiling. She then slid off of him and sat up to grab his blankets from the foot of his bed. Pulling it up around them, she kissed him good night and curled into his side. It wasn’t long before she found sleep.

The same could not be said for Matthew. He didn’t want to go back to sleep. Even though she said she would be there, he didn’t want her to slip away again. He also didn’t want to sleep through what he believed to be their last moment like this together. Sighing, he kissed the top of her sleeping head, fighting his own sleep as best he could.


	8. Part 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 14 year old Matthew befriends the strange new girl that just moves to town after she stands up to some jocks who are bullying him. Their friendship develops into crushes and as soon as they admit it the reader’s family suddenly moves away. Several years later Matthew is starting his first day of shooting on CM and when he walks into the prop department guess who works there… the reader! They rekindle their friendship. It only gets complicated after Reader offers to help Matthew practice for his very first kissing scene

Despite his attempts to stay awake, sleep had found him, but as Matthew awoke slowly, it was with a small smile. She was still there. He had yet to open his eyes, but he could hear her gentle snoring and the heat of her body pressed to him. He was spooning her and his morning erection was nuzzled against her ass. It was so tempting to try and start something, but he knew that they needed to stop. This couldn’t happen again. 

So, as he quietly laid there, holding her, enjoying the moment while he could. It was then that Shemar’s comment about condoms popped in his head. He knew she was on the pill and maybe he was naïve to think she was clean and wouldn’t sleep with him unprotected, knowing she had something. At this point, he was wondering if she had remembered to take her pill with everything going on the last couple of days. As his thoughts drifted to certain possibilities, his hand drifted to her lower abdomen. Neither of them were in a place in their lives or relationship, where a baby would be a good idea, but, he couldn’t help wondering what they would do if it did happen. Would she keep it? He hoped that she would. The thought of anything else made his chest hurt. Would she give in and let them try? Try to be a family? Would she get help with her drinking? Would she stop? He liked to think she would. His mind started to wander to more dangerous territory, like what their child would look like and whether it would be a boy or girl. 

As Matthew’s mind wandered, he didn’t realize his hand was lightly rubbing and cupping her abdomen. He also didn’t notice that his movements were pulling Y/n from her sleep. As she woke, she became aware of two things: 1) he was very hard and pressed against her ass, making her instantly wet and throb, and 2) he was very gently holding her lower abdomen. Glancing down at his hand, she furrowed her brow, wondering what he was doing. 

“Matthew,” she asked, quietly in a sleepy, gravelly voice, causing him to slightly startle and quickly move his hand to just below her breast along her ribs.

Clearing his throat, he pulled her closer to him and said, “Good morning.”

“Good morning… what were you just thinking about?” As she spoke, she couldn’t resist rolling her hips slightly.

Her sudden action caused his hand to shoot to her hip in an attempt to still her movements as his eyes closed and he moaned. The severity of his grip on her hip would likely leave bruises. 

“Umm… I was… I was wondering if you remembered to take your pill. I realized… uh… we haven’t used any protection,” he said, between moans, trying to focus.

She was moaning now too, as her hand slid down between her legs, dipping two fingers into her pussy. 

“I didn’t forget… you have nothing to worry about… I wouldn’t do that to you,” she promised as she gasped.

His hand left her hip and joined hers between her legs, as he started to circle her clit while she slowly pumped her fingers within her folds.

Matthew had given up his restraint and was now grinding and thrusting his dick against her backside, as he kissed and sucked along her shoulder. He couldn’t take it any longer. He needed more.

“Y/n…” he whispered pleadingly, before nibbling on her neck, causing her to gasp. 

Pulling her hand from her wetness, she reached behind her and started to pump his cock, before shifting her position and easing herself onto him. She groaned his name and started to move slowly. She was actually kinda sore from the night before and his brutal pace. When he tried to pick up speed, she hissed and reached back to put her hand on his hip to slow him.

“Little tender….”

Matthew hummed in understanding and mumbled an apology as he slowed down. Reaching around, he grabbed her breasts and massaged them while pulling and rolling her nipples. Y/n arched her back into the new sensation and started to roll her hips.

“Fuck…Y/n…. you feel good.”

Reaching behind her, Y/n cupped the back of Matthew’s head as she turned and craned her head towards him and captured his mouth in a kiss. His hand left her breast and cupped her face as he deepened the kiss. Pulling away from her mouth, he slipped from her body and gently rolled her so she was on her back. She opened her legs for him and helped him slide back in as he settled between her legs. Y/n’s mouth fell open and her eyes flicker closed. 

“Does it feel good?” he asked, hovering his body over her. She nodded her head quickly, gasping his name. When she opened her eyes, she looked up at his face. He was so beautiful. His hair had fallen around his face, and his pupils were blown. He was flushed and breathing heavy as he moved within her. She raised her hips to meet his thrusts and she threaded her fingers through his hair, guiding his lips back to hers. 

As he kissed her, he felt her wrap her legs around his waist, urging him faster by pushing against his ass with her heels. Chuckling against her mouth, he reached down and held onto her thigh, quickening his pace. 

“God… Matthew… you always make me feel so full. Always so deep.”

With a smirk, he started to roll his hips every time he bottomed out, grinding the tip of his cock against her cervix, causing her to whine and tighten her legs’ grasp on his waist.

“Do you like it when I’m deep? When I give you everything?”

Panting, she nodded and started to push up when he grounded down, causing them both gasp each time. 

She wanted every possible inch of him. She wanted to still feel him when they were done.

“Harder Matthew, please,” she begged against his mouth.

Releasing what Y/n could only describe as a growl, Matthew fisted her hair in his hands and devoured her lips. Ripping away from her mouth, he gave her a dirty grin that excited her and said, “I can go deeper from behind.” Quickly, he withdrew from her once more, picking her up and flipping her onto her stomach, causing her to squeal in surprise, then giggle. He chuckled as she smiled at him over her shoulder. This was kinda fun. 

He then pulled her onto her knees and pushed the upper half of her body flat against the mattress. 

“I wanna try something,” he said, smiling at her. 

She raised an eyebrow, warning him, “If you try and stick that giant thing in my ass, I’ll knock your scrawny one out cold.”

Matthew threw his head back in laughter and said, “Duly noted, but no, that’s not what I want to try.” He rubbed his cock along her moist folds before thumping the tip up against her clit twice, causing her to gasp as well as buck against him. He then grabbed her hips, lined himself up and slammed in, grounding down deep into her depths. 

“Oh shit!”

He chuckled at her, but it quickly turned to moaning as she tightened her walls around him. She looked back, giving him a smug little smirk that was short lived when he pulled back, slamming deeper into her pussy. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes as he fucked her. Every time he pulled back, she would clench around him, causing the most delicious sensation. Fuck, she felt amazing. Leaning forward, he pulled her arms straight back, wrapping his hands around her forearms, holding her upper body up off the bed. She gasped in surprise, then started to grunt as Matthew used the leverage of her arms to pull her body back into his powerful thrusts.

He was so deep and it felt so good, Y/n could barely keep her wits about her. She was so close and it was going to be a big one. She started rambling nonsensically as Matthew picked up his speed. He could feel her walls starting to flutter around him and he knew she was about to come. 

“That’s it, cum for me baby. Shit Y/n, so good… fuuuuck!”

A long, guttural moan ripped its way from Y/n as her body shook, and her walls clamped down like a vice on Matthew’s dick, triggering his own release. Once again, he emptied deep inside, painting her cervix with his seed. She came with such intensity, her own release gushed from her body, drenching the front of Matthew and the bed beneath them.

“Oh shit, Y/n, that is so fucking hot,” Matthew said, breathlessly.

Losing all his strength, he dropped her arms and she hit the bed with a ‘oomph,’ giggling because her brain was practically mush at this point. When she fell forward, he slipped from her and flopped down next to her, exhausted. She drunkenly giggled again, even though she was sober. Turning her head to face him, she smiled at him and he returned it as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Now, I know I didn’t teach you that. What the fuck? Not that I’m complaining or anything, but damn. Give a girl a warning before you suspend her in the air and fuck her brains to pancake batter,” she said, breathlessly.

He gave her an airy giggle before using what little strength he had regained, to roll on his side and kiss her. 

“Seriously, though. Where did you learn that?” she asked when he pulled away. 

“Y/n, I was a 26 year old virgin. The amount of porn I’ve consumed is almost criminal.”

Y/n burst into full body laughter, that turned into uncontrollable giggles as Matthew started to tickle her, mercilessly. By time he had ceased his torture, he was straddling her hips and she was was beaming up at him all flushed and panting. Planting his hands on either side of her head, he leaned down and kissed her, slow and soft and then rested his forehead on hers. 

“See how much fun we could have,” he said, quietly.

“Matthew…” she said, slow and with warning in her voice.

Signing, he said, “I know, save your breath. My fucking bed is like a damn slip and slid. Next time, remind me to lay down a fucking tarp,” he joked, laughing. 

“That’s mighty bold of you to assume that we’ll even do this again.”

“The one-time deal has clearly been thrown out the window, so who knows..”

“I know,” she said incredulously, pouting at him.

He chuffed and said, “Yeah, okay, better get up and get ready. We are crazy late,” before bending down to give her a peck and walking out his room. 

Y/n hopped off the bed, grabbing Matthew’s old Casper shirt from his hamper, following him to the bathroom while slipping it on over her head. He gave her a weird look when she sat up on the bathroom counter while he peed. 

“Okay, so are we past the bathroom privacy portion of our relationship?”

“We don’t have a relationship. We have a friendship. Plus, you’ve seen me pee. Now, we are even.”

“Are you going to watch me shower too… or do you want to join me?”

“Mmm… I feel like if I follow you in, that’ll just make us even more late. Everyone is going to think you chickened out. I’ll just watch.”

“You waiting for me to get done will take just as long. We can be good… maybe,” he smirked, getting the shower running. He walked up to her and nestled his hips between her legs, running his hands on top of her thighs, pushing his shirt further up so he could see her pussy. He then started to kiss her neck, causing her to giggle. He slid his hands around her backside, pulling her to the edge so he could grind his hardening cock again her sex.

“If you can’t even behave now, what makes you think you’re going to behave in the shower?” she asked, pushing away from him a little bit with her hands still on his chest. “Anyways, I can shower after you leave. I took the day off to prepare for Ben. I also didn’t want to be around for the kissing scene… I think it would be awkward.” 

He furrowed his brow for a moment, and then asked, “If you don’t think you can watch me kiss someone for work, how are you going to be able to watch me date someone else?”

“With all the dignity and grace I can muster.”

Matthew looked away from her for a moment. Should he tell her he moved up the date? Should he cancel the date? This morning felt so… different. Like it was the beginning of something. Something he really wanted.

“Are you sure you still want me to go on the date with Vivian? I don’t have to. This could be us…”

Smiling sadly, she shook her head, “No, go on your date. This is not how it’ll always be. More times than not, I’ll fuck things up, and cause you nothing but trouble.”

He pinched her thigh with his fingers. “Stop that! Why do you talk about yourself like that? You don’t fuck everything up!” 

She sighed and looked away from him. Pushing him back, she said, “Your water is getting cold and you’re late. So hurry up. I’ll make you some coffee.” With that, she slipped out of the bathroom and was out of his sight.

Sighing, he walked over to the shower and turned up the heat. She was right, it was getting cold. He slipped in and started to get himself ready for work.

By the time he exited the bathroom and headed to his room to get dressed, Y/n was already dressed and drinking her coffee as she flipped through the channels on the tv.

“Shemar called your phone. I lack boundaries so I answered. He was wondering if you were planning to come to work. I told him that you got side tracked, and would be heading out in thirty. That was fifteen minutes ago. So hurry. You have a coffee in your favorite mug and a toasted bagel on the counter,” she relayed, without looking away from the tv.

He stood there a moment, with a towel around his waist, and just stared at her. For some reason, this all felt really domestic. He found it really fucking sexy. 

“Y/n…,” he said breathlessly, starting to walk toward her.

“Stop,” she said, hearing the need in his voice. She put up her hand, pointing towards his room and said, “Fifteen minutes.”

He lingered there for a moment, groaning as he headed to his room to get dressed. After shutting his bedroom door, he noticed his sheets and pillow cases had been stripped from the bed. Popping his head back out the door, he shot Y/n a confused look.

“Did you-“

She cut him off and said, “They are in the wash with mine. It was time, anyway. I’ll put them back on before I leave today. Now get ready!” She smiled to herself as she heard his bedroom door shut. 

By the time he had come back out, she had brought his coffee and bagel into the living room, located his keys, wallet and phone, now all on the coffee table. She then settled on one of those “Flip This House,” shows, and tore her bagel into small bite size pieces as she watched.

Matthew walked out and saw everything he needed, gathered together in one spot. Usually it takes him a good ten minutes to collect everything. He was about to leave, when he turned back around and tipped Y/n’s head back, giving her a hard and fast goodbye kiss. 

“When will I see you again?” he asked, knowing she wouldn’t be home much the next couple of days. 

“I’ll be at work tomorrow. I’m probably going to bring Ben with me, so you’ll get to see us both!”

He smiled and then asked, “That’s great, but… um… when will I get to see YOU again… alone?”

Laughing, she shook her head and said, “Wow, I already told you that was a bold assumption!”

“Yeah, maybe, but something tells me I’m not wrong,” he said, smiling before giving her another quick peck and then heading out the door.

*****

Matthew pulled into his parking spot at the studio and rushed into the building without stopping at his trailer. He quickly changed into his wardrobe and headed to makeup. He went to props, and then ran to the stage set he was directed to. Apparently, he didn’t realize that they were not going to be able to shoot the pool scene until sundown. So, they were doing several of the other scenes, and then they had to travel off location to a mansion in the hills. They were about to film the scene where Spencer tries to talk to Lila and she takes his drink. 

Matthew stood on the sidelines looking over his script one last time, when he felt someone come stand right next to him. Looking up he saw the smug look on Shemar’s face.

“What?”

“So… what could have sidetracked you so much that you were almost two hours late for work?” he asked, smiling at Matthew.

Giving him a sideway glance, Matthew said, “Um… nothing really.” But then he smiled, thinking about the amazing morning he had. “But, it was definitely worth it.”

“So much for that one-time deal,” Shemar chuckled, patting him on the back.

He raised his eyebrows up at his friend and smiled smugly. “That’s what I said.”

“So has she reconsidered?”

“Umm… no, not really...but it felt different this time. It’s like I could see glimpses of who she used it be. She might think she’s gone, but I think she is just buried under all the pain. Maybe, with time, I can help pull her out. Like this morning.”

“Okay, so what about your date?”

“Yeah, well, last night after work, I was kinda mad at Y/n, so I actually moved it to tonight. At the time, I didn’t realize we were filming late, but I’m going to text Vivian and see how late is too late to get a drink.” 

“So… you’re still going on the date?” Shemar asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, Y/n said she wanted me too.”

“Even after this morning?”

“Yeah… but hey, Vivian and I are not even exclusive right now, you know? We are still at the ‘talking’ and ‘going on dates’ stage. Don’t get me wrong, I really like her, but she isn’t my girlfriend. So… you know there’s still time for Y/n to change her mind.”

“Oh, wow! Okay man, didn’t realize you were so savage.”

Wrinkling his brows, confused about what Shemar said, Matthew asked, “How am I savage?”

“You pretty much said you were going to string Vivian along until Y/n changed her mind.”

“That is not what I said. If and when me and Vivian do become serious, I’ll tell Y/n that whatever this thing is we are doing… will be over.”

“So you’re going to keep sleeping with Y/n until Vivian decides she wants to be more serious? What exactly have you told Vivian about Y/n?”

“Umm… maybe… probably. I mean, she’s amazing and it's hard to say no to her, but I don’t have anything else to compare it to. I will stop though, if things move to the next level with Vivian. And, as far as what I’ve told her about Y/n…. hmm, I told her that me and Y/n are just old friends and roommates. I feel like if I tell her any more, it will just make things weird.”

“Because everything is so normal now? You’re playing a dangerous game, man,” Shemar warned, patting Matthew on the back before walking away, leaving him to think about what he said.

Matthew bit his lip, nervously. Was he really doing the wrong thing? He didn’t know if he could turn down Y/n, assuming the opportunity comes up again. Especially after this morning. He didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as the director called places.

*****  
After Matthew left for work, Y/n spent her morning productively. She used the time to clean her room and clear out all the empty bottles, as well as wash both hers and Matthew’s laundry. She was in a strangely optimistic and cheerful mood, and as she scurried about the apartment cleaning, she started to wonder if maybe Matthew was right. Maybe she should reconsider their relationship. Maybe she should tell him that she was willing to try on a trial basis. But he still had that date this weekend. Did she even have the right to ask him to cancel it?

Just as promised, she remade his bed. Once she pulled the comforter into place she sat on the edge and looked around his room. As her eyes met his dresser, she gasped. Standing up, she walked over and plucked the framed picture of them dressed as Gomez and Mortica Addams from its spot. Looking down at the smiling images of their younger selves, her heart swelled with nostalgia, and a little sadness. It was the very same framed photo she had left on his doorstep just before being forced out of his life. Also, on top of his dresser, was the sketch and note she had left with the photo, but it too, was now framed. How had she never noticed these before?

Biting her lip, Y/n wiped at the tears forming in her eyes. The thought that he kept them both in a place that he would see every morning as he got ready for his day, hit her with an intense desire to try to make it work. She wanted what they had this morning to happen every morning. Smiling to herself, she gently placed the photo back on his dresser, and left his room.

Heading back to her room, she made her bed next. While tucking in the sheet, her eyes drifted to the box beneath her bed. Slowly, she pulled the box out from under her bed and stared at the bottles inside.  
She realized, in that moment, that she had gone all morning without a drink. She hadn’t even thought about it until now. A small smile played on her face. She had quit before, and she could do it again. She could do it for her and Matthew. She would even go back to meetings with Kathryn if it meant she could have more mornings with Matthew, like today’s.

Picking up the box, Y/n carried it to her closet and placed it back down. She knew that she should just get rid of it, or pour it down the drain, but there was a small voice in the back of her head that told her to keep it. That it was wasteful to pour out, and that if she just locked it away, it would be fine. Opening the trunk she had at the bottom of her closet, she emptied it of her winter clothes, and placed the box of alcohol inside. Shutting the lid of the trunk, Y/n stepped back and stared at it. No, it wasn’t enough. Turning, she walked over to her drawing desk, opened up her junk draw and dug around until she found it. Quickly, before she changed her mind, she popped the pad lock onto the trunk and locked it. She then took the key and opened her bedroom window, closed her eyes and chucked it out into the world.

After closing and locking her window, she turned to her closet, closed it, and walked out her room and into her new sober life!

******

Matthew was sitting outside by the pool, waiting to start shooting, when he texted Vivian. He told her that he would be filming late, but if she was still interested, that he would still want to go out.

While he waited for her response, he picked up his journal and started to doodle. Ten or fifteen minutes had passed when his phone dinged. Shutting his journal, he pulled out his phone and checked his messages. A huge grin spread across his face when he saw that it was from Y/n. Opening it, he read her message: 

Hey! Look who I found!

Underneath her text was a smiling picture of her and a much older Benny. He was about to respond when another image popped up of them making goofy faces. Laughing out loud, Matthew sent a text back welcoming Benny and told him he couldn’t wait to see him. He then sent another text to Y/n, asking how her day had been and how he hadn’t even filmed the kissing scene yet. 

Her response was quick:

It hasn’t been bad. Cleaned the apartment and remade your bed. I saw the photos on your dresser… I never noticed them before!❤️❤️❤️

Anyway, Benny said he can’t wait to see you and he also told you to pucker up!😂😂😂

We are checked in and are about to go swimming! After we’re gonna get some grub! I’ll text you before we go so if you’re done you can join us!

Also… I would really like to talk to you about something important! 😘😘😘

Matthew smiled, as he read her texts. He could tell, even without seeing her face, that she was happy and excited. It made him happy. He knew that this was the perfect time to tell her that his date was moved to tonight, but he also knew it would take that happiness away from her, even if she was the one who’d been pushing him to go on said date. But he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. So, he replied to her text, telling her that filming would probably go too late for him to join them, and that they could go out to eat again the next night. What she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, right?

As he was about to put his phone back in his pocket, it pinged again. He was expecting to see a reply from Y/n, but this time it was Vivian, saying that she understood and that she would still like to get together that night, regardless of the time. Smiling, he told her he would let her know when he was done. Though he was hoping for more time with Y/n, he couldn’t help but be excited for his date with Vivian. He liked her. She was sweet and they had been hitting it off, as they have a lot in common. If things didn’t work out with Y/n, Matthew could easily see himself falling for Vivian. 

Putting his phone away once more, Matthew went back to his doodles while he waited for the director to call places.

*****  
Earlier that day

After cleaning the kitchen and vacuuming, Y/n packed her bag for the week and got in the shower. She had texted Benny, sending him their address that morning, after Matthew had left. Last she had heard from her brother, he said that he was a little over an hour away. 

Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, Y/n settled on the couch and turned on the tv for background noise. Closing her eyes, she tipped her head back and breathed slowly. Her decision to quit drinking may have been done too hastily. Since getting out of the shower, she had felt shaky, clammy, and had a headache. She was having withdrawals. Sighing, she got back up and went to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, and took some Advil for her head. Staring back at herself in the mirror, she gave herself a pep talk. She would not let this ruin her week with Benny and she would stay strong so she could show Matthew how serious she was. Splashing her face with cold water, Y/n then dried her face and switched off the light as she left the bathroom. 

Heading to her room, she collected her weed box, because… well, because baby steps. She slipped it into her bag, knowing that Benny won’t frown upon her bringing it. Hell, he would probably even join her. Even Matthew smoked with her every once in a while, on movie nights, so he had no room to judge either.

Carrying her bag into the living room, she sat on the couch this time, switching the channels before settling on Adventure Time while she waited.

Near the end of the show, Y/n pulled her phone out and was about to text Matthew. She hadn’t talked to him since that morning, and she was wondering how he was holding up during his kissing scene. Just as she was about to start typing, there was a knock on the door. 

Smiling, Y/n got up and quickly made her way to the door, swinging it open excitedly. Seeing Benny on the other side, she squealed in excitement and launched herself at her now taller brother. He laughed and stumbled back at the force of her hug. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he lifted his smaller sister,and swung her back and forth playfully.

Y/n giggled as he placed her back on her feet. Stepping aside, she ushered him inside and shut the door behind them.

Looking around the clearly vintage apartment, Benny asked, “Is Matthew back?”

“No, not yet, I haven’t talked to him since this morning. Filming may be running late today. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy and not give a lot of thought to the fact that he is technically spending his day getting wet, and making out with some beautiful blond actress,” Y/n said, laughing, awkwardly.

“So, things are still a little weird between you two?”

“Um… actually, I think we may be doing better. We may have… um well, let’s just say that one-time thing didn’t stick, and this morning was… it felt… it felt right. Like how it should be between us,” she explained, looking down, blushing as she smiled to herself.

“Here, come sit down. We still have an hour before we can even check into our hotel room,” she said, leading her brother to the couch.

As he sat down, he asked, “So does that mean you two are together now?”

“Um… well, no,” Y/n said, looking away and shifting uncomfortably. “I still have to talk to him. When he left this morning, I was still pushing for him to go on the date with Vivian. But… I don’t know… after he was gone, and I had some quiet time with my thoughts, I realized that it wouldn’t hurt to at least try, right?”

“Right… and does he seem like he wants to, still?”

“Oh yeah, all morning, he kept trying to tell me that, this is how it would be… and if it is, it would be nice. More than nice,” she said, smiling to herself. “I felt a little bit like my old self, and it was the first time I was happy… like really happy in a long while.”

“I’m really glad to hear that,” Ben said, but then scowled as he watched Y/n’s shaky hand reach out for her bottle of water and bring it to her lips.

“Is that water?”

Rolling her eyes, she nodded her head, while she swiped some sweat off her brow.

Taking notice of her pale sweaty skin, he disappointedly said, “So...your drinking hasn’t gotten out of hand.” It was more of a sarcastic statement than a question. He had seen her in the midst of withdrawal before. Last time, she ended up in the hospital with full on DT’s.

“Hey! Don’t do that. Today is my first day! It just hit me after my shower. I got rid of all my alcohol today. I want to show to Matthew that I’m serious about giving us a try. I’m going to talk to Kathryn tomorrow about going back to meetings.”

A smile slowly grew on his face. He was proud of his sister’s decision, “Okay I’m sorry. I’m really proud of you, Y/n,” he told her, leaning forward to give her a hug.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let it get in the way of your visit. I just took something for this headache I’m having, and I’m drinking plenty of water. Also, I thought once we got settled into our room, we could maybe smoke a little something…?”

Laughing, Benny shook his head, and asked, “Isn’t that just replacing one thing with another?”

“No! I don't have a debilitating issue with weed. Plus, it will help settle the withdrawal symptoms. Think of it as a medical marijuana situation. C’mon, you can’t tell me you don’t smoke anymore, because I know you do! So, don’t be a stick in the mud, and smoke with your big sister,” she said teasingly, while simultaneously giving Benny puppy dog eyes.

Chuckling, Benny agreed, “Okay! Ok, but only because it will make you feel a little better. So, are we going to even see Matthew tonight?”

“Hmmm, I don’t know. If not, we will see him tomorrow when I bring you to work with me,” she said, smiling and giving his broad shoulders a little shove.

“Nice, I get a glimpse at the good old props department. Very exciting! So, it's just like shelves upon shelves of stuff, right?”

Giggling and nodding her head, Y/n agreed, “Yeah, pretty much. I know it's not very exciting, but wait until you try the food truck burritos. Seriously, if it wasn’t for Matthew and the burritos, this job wouldn’t be worth it.”

Benny laughed at his sister and then started to stand up. Pointing to the open door in front of them, he asked, “That the bathroom? I’ve been driving awhile and I really need to pee!”

Smiling, Y/n nodded her head, “Go ahead. When you’re done we can head out.”

“Sounds like a plan. I won’t be long. Back in a minute.”

As the bathroom door closed, Y/n went over her mental checklist of everything she needed. She had that feeling she had forgotten something. Shrugging her shoulders, she figured they can always come back and get whatever it was. 

When she heard the toilet flush and the sink turn on, Y/n turned off the tv and all the lights, grabbing her bag to wait for Benny, by the door. 

“Ready to go,”he said, as he exited the bathroom. “Want to stop and get a smoothie on the way? You could use a detox one with some good nutrition. It will help from keeping you from going into DT’s.”

Reaching up and patting her brother’s cheek, she said, “You’re so sweet! Always taking care of your big sis.”

He hung his arm over her shoulder, as they walked down the hall to the elevator, and said, “We take care of each other. We always have.” 

Y/n’s eyes started to water as she smiled up at Benny. As they stood in the elevator, she wrapped her arms around his waist, giving him a quick tight hug. 

“I missed you Ben Ben. I don’t know how I would have made it this far without you.”

Returning the hug, he kissed the top of his sister’s head and said, “I’ll always be there for you. You have been for me. Now… is that a yes on the smoothies?”

Wiping her eyes, she pulled away from her brother and nodded her head with a smile. 

“Yes, smoothie it is!” she said, as they walked out of the elevator and into the parking garage. 

“So what do you want to do once we get to the room… after a joint of course!”

“They have a pool! Want to go swimming? I haven’t been swimming in so long! You did bring trunks like I told you, right?”

“Yes I did and that sounds like fun. After, we can go get something to eat.”

“Oh! Maybe Matthew will be done shooting by then and be able to join us later. I’ll send him a text when we get there.”

As they made their way to the hotel, they stopped at Smoothie King, and chatted about their lives the rest of the way there. When they arrived, they checked in and headed up to their two bedroom suite. Dumping her things in her room, Y/n dug out her weed box and headed to the main living area of the hotel room. Benny came out of his own room, kicking off his shoes and propping them on the table next to where Y/n was breaking her weed.

Wrinkling her nose, she shoved his feet off the table in true sibling fashion, “Eww, keep your toe jam out of the joint.” 

Laughing, Benny spun on the couch and wiggled his big socked foot in Y/n’s face. 

“Oh my god, would you stop! You’re still such a child sometimes,” Y/n said, leaning away from him and swatting at his feet.

Still laughing uncontrollably, he turned back around in his seat and planted his feet back on the floor. Y/n straightened back up in her spot, and punched her younger brother in his arm, before continuing to roll their joint. 

Still chuckling, Benny rubbed his arm and said, “Ow, I’m telling Mom…,” while his laughter died down. He noticed how his sister slightly stiffened at the mention of their mother. “I take it you two are still not talking…or, should I say you’re not talking?

“No,” was Y/n’s solid and simple reply. She was hoping he would get the hint and just move off the topic. She wasn’t in the mood to fight. 

“I’m not going to push it right now,” he said, causing Y/n to sigh with relief. “But I am going to say this. One of these days you are going to have to talk to her. Really talk to her. You can’t keep letting something that happened when you were fourteen ruin your whole life. I… I just… I’m tired of watching you let it slowly kill you.”

Y/n stayed quiet for a moment, staring at the joint in her hand while clenching her jaw, trying to stop the tears from forming in her eyes.

Benny saw the moment her look of sadness turned to anger. Her eyes hardened and her nose flared. She brought the joint to her mouth in a quick, harsh movement, and angrily flicked her lighter to life. She furrowed her brows as she pulled in the smoke, and then held it in her lungs. She passed the joint to him with a jerky movement and expelled her anger along with her cloud of smoke.

“I’m not letting what happened to me when I was fourteen kill me. It was what happened when I was fifteen. And… that would never have happened if, when I was fourteen, we would have just stayed put. That, Benny… that is her fault. So no, I’m not going to talk it out with her,” she finished, snatching the joint as he handed it back to her.

Y/n took two drags from the joint, holding each one in her lungs and blowing it out, evacuating her anger. By the time she passed it back to her now quiet brother, she had calmed down. “I’m sorry I yelled, Benny… I-I know you’re trying to help, but I’m just not there yet,” she said, looking over at him as he coughed on his drag of the joint. 

He nodded his head and passed the almost finished joint to his sister. He watched as she took two careful pulls on the tiny roach, before placing it in a glass tumbler cup they were using for an ashtray. “Sorry, I brought it up. I didn’t want to upset you,” he said, sincerely, opening up his arms so Y/n could lean into his large embrace as he squeezed her. 

Y/n started to giggle and pulled away from Benny. “We should send a picture to Matthew,” she said excitedly, changing the subject. Pulling out her phone, she scooted closer to her brother and they both smiled as they took a selfie together. They also took some of them making goofy faces. She pulled up her messages, selected Matthew, added the photo and hit send. She followed it with a goofy faced shot for fun. 

Benny leaned over just in time to see Matthew’s response. “Tell him I can’t wait to see him,” he said, as he got up and started for his room. “I’m gonna go change into my swim trunks,” he said, disappearing into the room, shutting the door behind him. 

Y/n sat on the couch a little longer and texted Matthew their plan for the evening. She waited for his response, smiling. She did pout a little when he said that he probably wouldn’t be able to join them, but she understood. She, being the dork that she was, kissed her phone as if he would’ve been able to feel it, and then hopped off the couch and hurried to her room to change.

******

Shooting just wrapped. It actually went better than expected. He was a bit nervous at first, and did forget his lines once or twice, but once the nerves passed, it just felt like any other time he acted behind the camera.

At one point, it did kinda remind him of the time that Y/n and he made out in the pool as teenagers. He had to quickly think about the abominable snowman to push it out of his mind, when he felt a slight twitch below the belt. Now that would have made the scene awkward.

Matthew was now wrapped in a robe and on his way to change into his own clothes. As he shut the bathroom door, closing it behind him, his phone dinged and he pulled it out of the robe pocket. Opening up his messages, there were several more texts from Y/n. They were mostly pictures of Benny and her by or in the pool. Then, some were just of her… alone… in her room, naked and wet. Very, very wet. Matthew swallowed, as he locked the door and quickly undressed. His phone dinged again and this time it was a little video clip. Placing the toilet lid down, Matthew sat and hit play:

Y/n was laying on her bed, chewing on the tip of her finger. 

“I just can’t get you off my mind. Maybe it’s because I know you’re making out with a pretty girl right now and I’m a little jealous, but thinking about you has made me all hot and bothered.”

Her hand slid down and out of view as her eyes slowly closed and she bit her lip and moaned.

Her eyes opened again, but they were lidded with lust. Her breathing increased and she gasped. He could tell what she was doing by the way her shoulder was moving.

As he spit in his hand and grasped his painfully hard dick, Y/n spoke again before the clip cut off. 

“God…Matthew! I wish you were here with me, baby. That I could see your face!” And the clip ended.

Quickly, Matthew hit FaceTime and waited. Hopefully, she hadn’t finished. He was still moving his hand feverishly up and down his cock, when her flushed face popped onto his screen. He bit his lip and smiled. 

“Hey sexy. I’m not too late to the party am I?” he asked, slowing his pace so they could play for a bit. He had never done anything like this, but it felt right, being it was with her.

She smiled at him and said, “No baby, I’m just starting. You touching yourself? Can I see?”

Matthew blushed a little darker at her request, “Yes, I couldn’t help it after that video. I knew what you were doing and it made me so hard.” He then swallowed, nervously and flipped the camera so Y/n could see him pumping his dick. 

She smiled like a cat that caught the canary and licked her lips. “God, you have such a great cock, Matthew. I wish I was with you right now. I would have your toes curling and your cock half way down my throat.” She whimpered when she heard his deep moan and his grasp tighten as he sped up.

“Can I see you, Y/n. Please, honey! I want to see your tits and your pussy. I want to see you play with yourself.”

Without a word, she blew him a kiss and flipped the camera, giving him an almost eagle eye view of her body. She was so fucking gorgeous. It just made his dick throb, and him whine because he couldn’t bury himself within her.

Hearing his whimper, y/n asked as she abandoned her pussy, to massage her breasts and pull and roll her nipples for him, “You okay, baby? You still sound frustrated.”

“No, I’m good. I just wish I could be inside of you right now. Your pussy feels so much better than my hand. Let me see it Y/n. God, it’s always so delicious and wet for me. Next time I see you, I’m gonna eat you until you can’t take it anymore. You think you would like that?”

“God yes! I love it when you have your head between my thighs. Hold on Matthew, I’m gonna---I need to find a way to prop my phone up so you can see how wet you make me.”

Matthew was left staring at the ceiling of her hotel room for a moment. Y/n then flipped the camera again, so he was looking at the head of the bed. He watched her climb onto the bed, situating the camera between her legs. 

When her glistening pussy came into view, Matthew moaned as his hand started a twisting motion, concentrating mostly on the head of his cock. He was so close to losing it. When her fingers made their way back to her folds, he watched intensely, as her delicate fingers circled her clit while she brought her other hand down and slid them into her entrance. As she fucked herself, he could see the ecstasy written all over her face.

“Baby… I’m close. So close. I need you to talk to me. Tell me what you would want me to do to you if I was there.”

“I would want you to fuck me, Matthew. Hard, slow, and deep. Let me see your face, love. I need to see you,” she pleaded, waiting until he complied. Once she, once again, saw his beautiful face, it pushed her closer to the edge. 

“More, Y/n, tell me more. Would you want me on top of you, or behind. Would you ride me until I filled you so fucking deep?”

Y/n smiled slightly at the images he was giving her, and her fingers picked up in speed. “Oh, I was going to say, I wanted you on top of me with my legs wrapped around you, but you painted me such a pretty picture, baby. I would ride you. I would take you so deep you would be able to see yourself bulging against my belly… ahhh, fuck! And… and you would sit up as I grind my hips down on you, watching you suck on my tits….oh god…oh god… I’m so close Matthew.”

Matthew was pumping erratically fast. He was breathing so hard, he was practically panting.

“Fuck.. yes, baby! Me too. Oh god, I can see it, Y/n. I’m going to fuck you so hard next time I see you sweetheart. You gonna let me cum in you again? Fill you up?”

“Fuck.. yes, baby. Yes… you’ll be so deep you’ll shoot it right in my womb. Is that what you want, Matthew? You want my pussy to take all your cum? It’s where it belongs, baby. Deep inside me. You’re the only one, baby. You’re the only one….ahhhh…fuck….fuck… Matthew!” Y/n came hard when she heard Matthew groan, seeing his jaw fall open and his eyes roll back.

She grabbed her phone so all he could see was her face now. When his body finally relaxed, he opened his eyes and lazily smiled at her. 

“Y/n, you’re going to fucking kill me,” he said, laughing, “I just shot the biggest load all over some rich bastard‘s million dollar bathroom.”

Y/n started to giggle. God, she was beautiful. And so fucking dirty. The things she was just saying to him, really hit him hard. He really liked hearing it, but he knew for her they were just words in the heat of the moment. 

Cringing, Y/n said, “I really hope Benny is still in the shower or his room, because I was a little louder than I intended to be. Awkward…. Anyway… are you done filming? Want to come out to dinner with us?”

Matthew should tell her about his date, but it definitely wasn’t the right time now. So, he sighed and said, “No, we aren’t quite done yet. Just on a filming break. I won’t be able to make it tonight. But tomorrow night, I’m all yours, baby.”

Pouting at him, Y/n said, “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow at work.” She blew him a kiss and was about to disconnect, when Matthew called out her name. “Yeah?”

“You said there was something you wanted to talk to me about.”

Smiling a hundred watt smile, “Uh ah, it’s more of an in-person conversation. We’ll talk tomorrow,” she said, as she winked at him, then disconnected.

Sighing, Matthew set his phone down on the counter next to him. He pulled his mouth back in a grimace when he saw the mess he had made. Standing up, he collected some toilet paper and cleaned it up, going to get dressed. He washed his hands and stared at himself in the mirror. He was feeling guilty. Not only because he didn’t tell Y/n about his date tonight, but because he lied to her about it. He also felt guilty that Vivian has been looking forward to this date, and, up until the last two days, she and him have been talking nonstop. They really had a lot in common, and he genuinely liked her. Now, here he was about to call her to meet up, after he just had the most amazing morning and then phone sex with the woman he deeply loved. Groaning, he turned away from his reflection. That’s it, he was going to cancel. He couldn’t drag Vivian along when he was clearly so deeply in love with Y/n. He worked up the nerve and then dialed Vivian’s number and waited for her to answer. She picked up on the second ring.

“Matthew! Oh my god, I’m so excited for tonight. I’m all ready. Are done filming?”

He lost his nerve. She would be so upset if he canceled now. Sighing internally, he put on a smile and said, “Hey V, yeah I’m done. Just got to turn in my wardrobe and props, then I can head out. Did you have any idea what you wanted to do tonight?”

“Well, since it’s so late I was wondering if we could just go to your place and order in. Maybe watch a movie? I can bring some wine and some weed. It’ll be fun and we can just spend some time alone?”

Matthew would rather they went somewhere, but it sounded like she had given it some thought, and she was right. It was pretty late, so he agreed, and gave her his address, telling her he would text her when he was leaving the site. They said their goodbyes and he hung up.

It was just one date. It didn’t mean they had to do anything. Or that there had to be a second one. He could just let her down easy, next time it came up. Collecting his things, Matthew left the bathroom and headed to the wardrobe and props people to turn in his things.

******

Y/n couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. Not only was that really fun, but it convinced her that she was making the right decision. They belonged together. They always had. He loved her, so much so, that he had waited for her. He didn’t hold her past against her. He just wanted her, and god, did she want him. She was tired of the game they where playing, and it was stupid of her to push him towards another woman. Come tomorrow, she would rightfully be his woman. 

Hoping off the bed, Y/n quickly got herself dressed and headed out into the living area. Noticing that Benny still hadn’t made it out, she knocked on his door and called out his name, “Hey Ben, you almost ready?”

Swinging the door open, he said, laughing, “Well I’ve been waiting on you. I came out earlier, but heard things I should never hear my sister say, so I retreated to the safety of my room. I’m sending you the therapy bill, by the way.”

Y/n’s face turned five shades of red as she covered her face in embarrassment. “I’m sorry Benny! Oh my god, I’m mortified!”

“It’s fine, let’s just go get something to eat. I’m sure you’ve worked up quite the appetite.”

“Staaap! Oh my god!”

Laughing, Benny walked over to the door and held it open for Y/n. “Hey, I’m just glad you’ve pulled your head out your ass, and that you two are getting along. At least, it sounds like you were getting along.”

Y/n smacked her brother in the chest with the back of her hand, “Will you stop?!”

Chuckling while he rubbed his chest, he said, “I hope you washed that hand,” before taking off, and running down the hall, when he saw her cock her fist back.

“I am going to get you, Benjamin,” she jokingly yelled, quickly running after him. By time she caught up with him at the elevators, she was laughing. She then kicked him in the shin. 

When the doors opened, Benny stumbled in and held his hands up in surrender.

“I’ll stop! I’ll stop! Please, no more midget kicks,” he said, laughing. 

Y/n crossed her arm across her chest, “Serves you right!” Then she broke out in a smile.

Shaking his head, Benny smiled back. “So, you have any ideas what you’re hungry for?”

“I don’t know… maybe some great diner food?”

“It's probably just the munchies talking, but yeah, I’m down for something greasy.”

Once they made it to Benny’s truck, Y/n searched for the nearest late night diner as they headed on their way.

“So, you’re planning on talking to Matthew tomorrow?”

Y/n gave him a warning look.

Chuckling, Benny raised up a hand in surrender, “Hey! Hey! Down girl. I called a truce, remember. I’m just asking when you plan on telling him that you want to be his boo.”

Shanking her head at her brother’s terminology, Y/n smiled and said, “Yeah, I was going to pull him aside first thing tomorrow morning. He knows I have something to talk to him about, and he even just asked me what it was, but, I kinda want to talk to him in person. I expect there will be lots of kisses.” She ducked her head shyly, while her cheeks flushed pink and a sweet smile played on her lips.

Despite his teasing, Benny was really happy for Y/n. She deserves someone who would treat her right and cherish her like she was worth it. Maybe then, she would realize what an amazing woman she was. She was strong and very caring. She just needed to stop blaming herself for what happened to her and understand it didn’t lessen who she was.

Benny pulled into the parking lot of the diner and parked the truck. “What were you thinking you were going to get?”

“Hmmm, I heard this place has a breakfast burger. It has a fried egg, hash browns, bacon, cheese and a hamburger patty!”

Benny gave her a look of concern.

“What?”

“How are you so small? How do you eat like that and not gain weight?”

“I’m pretty sure, the key is the vodka diet.”

“That’s not funny, Y/n.”

“I wasn’t trying to be. I’m gonna get so fat now that I’m done drinking. I hope Matthew doesn’t mind rolling me from location to location. Oh, god! I’m going to have to start eating salads,” Y/n realized with a look of horror, that turned into a pout. 

Benny laughed at her drama as they walked in the diner and said, “Somehow, I think Matthew won’t care. You could be bald, with no arms, and he would still love you.”

Y/n smiled at that as they were seated. “So, what are you going to get?”

“Duh, the breakfast burger! That sounds awesome. Ow! Why did you kick me?”

“Because, you gave me shit about the burger when you wanted to eat it too?”

“Yeah, but I’m still young. You’re quickly approaching 30. Things are gonna start to stick.”

“Oh, great, so I’m gonna be old and fat,” she said, laughing and shaking her head.

Tilting his head to the side, he raised his eyebrows and gave her the side eye, “You said it, not me. Ow! Will you stop kicking me?! Or at least, switch shins.”

“I’ll consider your request,” she said, as the waitress walked up to their table. After ordering their drinks and dinner. “So, I was thinking, maybe on Saturday, we can make a day of it and drive to Disneyland. What do you think? Some fair type foods, vomit-inducing rides, continuous walking and miserable heat?”

“Wow, you paint such a tempting picture, I’m totally down,” Benny said, laughing. “You going to invite Matthew?”

“The man loves all things Disney. Possibly even more than me. So yes, definitely inviting him,” Y/n said, then burst into laughter, “The first day of shooting, after we ran into each other, we went to the bar and he sang the Little Mermaid’s, A Part of Your World, verbatim, without even looking at the lyrics. It was insane.”

Benny started laughing, “I definitely wish I could have seen that!”

They were both giggling at the mental image of Matthew singing like a Disney princess, when their food arrived. They thanked their waitress, and continued to chat as they ate their meal. When they were finished, Y/n declared that she would foot the bill since Benny was paying for the room. 

As they walked up to the register, Y/n dug her wallet out of her bag and noticed that her birth control wasn’t in her bag. Shit! That’s what she forgot. She keeps it in the cupboard over the coffee machine so she always remembers to take it. She had meant to put it in her bag this morning after she took it, but she must have put it back in the cupboard, instead. Well, it looked like they were going to have to make a pit stop. 

“Uh, hey Benny. We’re going to have to stop at the apartment real quick. I forgot my birth control and I’m going to need to take it in the morning,” Y/n explained, while adding a tip and signing the receipt.

Benny narrowed his eyes at his sister as they left the dinner. He suspected that this was just an excuse to squeeze in a quickie, as he said, “Can’t you just text Matthew and ask him to bring them to work tomorrow? Anyway, I’m sure the condoms caught the swimmers so, you’ll be fine.

Y/n was quiet for a moment, and looked at her brother from the corner of her eye. “Yeah.. the condoms. Umm, you know, I think I’d still rather go get them. Just to be safe. Plus, Matthew is forgetful as fuck in the mornings. He is anything, but a morning person.”

She stopped and turned when she realized Benny wasn’t next to her. He was just staring at her like she was stupid. Shaking his head, he caught up with her, and said “You two are stupid. I swear its like you’re just a bunch of dumb teenagers. I mean, seriously? Get in the truck. Let’s go.”

Y/n hopped into the truck and smiled to herself. She was wondering what were the chances she could get Benny to take a drive around the block or just wait in the truck. Maybe Matthew and her could squeeze in a quickie. 

Looking over at his sister, and the smile playing on her face, Benny said, “If you think I’m gonna stay behind while you run upstairs to bump uglies with Matthew, you're wrong. So you can wipe that stupid smile off your face.”

Y/n gave her brother an offended look, “I would never do that! What kind of girl do you think I am?”

Laughing, “I could hear the gears grinding from over here. And I think you’re the kind of girl who would leave her brother alone in the car, just so you could squeeze in some time alone with Matthew.”

“Ahh!” She stared at him like she couldn’t believe he would even think that. Even though he was totally right.

As they pulled into the parking garage and parked the car, Y/n turned to Benny and said, “Seriously though, I can just run up and get it and come back. I have to get up early for work and I didn’t get a whole bunch of sleep last night. If we both go up there, it will take forever and it will be a whole reunion thing. Five – ten minutes tops.”

He gave her a death stare. “I’m setting a timer. If you're not back in ten minutes, I’m coming up there!”

“Deal,” she said, holding out her hand to shake on it. Benny shook it and watched her get out of the truck, heading for the elevator.

******

Matthew had thought the date was going pretty well, they had ordered in Chinese food, and decided on a comedy. The conversation between them came easy, and Matthew remembered why he believed that he could move on with her. 

It didn’t hurt that she was really beautiful. She was built similar to Y/n, but maybe a little larger on top. She had auburn hair, dark green eyes, and was covered in adorable freckles. She was a complete opposite of Y/n. When they had started talking, he thought that was just what he needed. 

While the date was going well, Matthew couldn’t get Y/n out of his head. He actually felt guilty for having a good time. He really should have been honest with her, and told her about the date. He also felt bad that he would much rather have Y/n on the couch, curled up with him watching a scary movie, and smoking a joint or a blunt, together. It was really the only time he smoked. So, when Vivian pulled out a pre- rolled blunt from her bag, he did get a little nervous.

“Do you smoke?” Vivian asked, noticing that Matthew seemed to tense up a little. 

Originally, she had asked if he wanted to go on a date, because they had been talking nonstop and then he had just disappeared. She was worried that she had said something wrong, or that he was losing interest because they were moving so slow. Which, they were doing, because she had gotten the impression that he hadn’t dated much and that maybe, he wanted to go slow. She was so excited when he agreed to go on a date, and even happier when he moved the date up. 

So far, she’d been enjoying it. This was probably one of the best she’d had in a while. The only thing was, Matthew seemed out of it, or a little closed off tonight. She was trying to not give it too much thought, as she knew he had a long filming day. She knew, from personal experience, how exhausting a long day of filming can be. But, he was still being pleasant and seemed to be enjoying himself.   
She just thought that if they smoked, maybe he would loosen up a little bit. Maybe they could start a little make out session. The man was painfully attractive. Especially his lips.

“Yeah… I mean I have in the past. I don’t do it regularly. I really only smoke with Y/n, and that’s when she really bugs me about it,” he said, quietly laughing.

“Oh, that’s fine, I’ll just put it up,”she said, not wanting him to feel pressured.

“No! No, it’s fine. We can smoke. I don’t mind. Really. Just be prepared, because I might get weird. It’s been awhile,” he said, a little self-consciously.

“You sure? Because it’s no biggie either way.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Hold on, let me get an ashtray,” he said, getting up and heading to Y/n’s room.

As he came back out, he shut the door behind him and sat back down on the couch next to Vivian, placing the ashtray on the table in front of them.

“Is that your room?”

“Oh… uh, no. That’s Y/n’s room. She smokes more than me, so she just keeps it in there.”

Vivian brought the blunt to her lips and lit it, pulling the smoke into her lungs. 

“So, are you two really close?” she asked, passing it to him.

“Um, yeah. We’ve known each other since we were 14. We were the weird kids together,” he said, choking on the smoke. Once his coughing calmed down, he continued, “Then she moved away and we didn’t see each other for like twelve years.”

She grabbed the offered blunt and took another pull, while she locked her eyes with Matthew, “Have you two ever been into each other?” she asked. after releasing a large plume of smoke.

Matthew’s eyebrows shot up as he laughed, nervously. He could start to feel the weed and it almost felt like she was interrogating him. He should really suggest this as an effective interrogation technique for the show. Emily and Morgan, sitting across the table from the UnSub share a blunt waiting for them to slip up. As his mind started to veer off in its own direction, Matthew started to giggle.

“Matthew?”

His attention snapped back to Vivian, “Huh? What?”

Vivian thought he was so cute, sometimes. He clearly was already high and getting lost in thought. Apparently, wherever his mind just went, it was pretty funny.

“I asked if you and Y/n were ever into each other?”

Swallowing nervously, he forced himself to focus, “Maybe, I liked her a little bit when we were kids… she is… different now.”

She looked confused. “Different? That sounds a little foreboding.”

“No! No not in a bad way… well, bad for anyone other than her. She had a rough life and she definitely has some vices she needs to work on, but she is still Y/n. Just a little rough around the edges.”

“How did you two meet again?” she asked, passing the blunt back to him.

Matthew took it and pulled in another lungful of smoke, holding it for a moment, then blowing it out. getting momentarily distracted by the smoke as it spread out into a big cloud. His mind wandered to Y/n, and how she would be laughing at him right now, teasing him, looking at him the way she does. 

Not realizing it, Matthew gave a far away chuckle and Vivian plucked the half-smoked blunt from his fingers. taking a drag, before putting it out in the ashtray. He had clearly had enough. When she sat back, he was staring at her, but looked kinda sad. 

Every part of him wished it was Y/n sitting across from him. Vivian was beautiful, funny and sweet. And Y/n may have some issues, but Vivian wasn’t her and could never replace her. 

She wasn’t sure why he looked so sad, but she wanted to try and cheer him up. She really liked him and just wanted to see him smile. Propping her head up, she leaned her arm along the back of the couch, placing her head in her hand. She smiled sweetly at him, and reached out with her other hand to brush back some of the hair that had fallen into his eyes. Which, then had locked onto her’s as he swallowed, nervously.

He knew she was about to kiss him. He knew he should stop her. But the facts where, Y/n wanted him to go on this date. She didn’t want to date him. She didn’t want to be the one sitting across from him right now. Vivian did. So when she leaned forward and her hand slid into his hair as her mouth covered his, he went with it. And it was nice.

Vivian moaned as he started to kiss her back. It was slow at first, but then, it was like something changed in him and he reached up gently caressing her face, before sliding his hand back and roughly fisting her hair, deepening his kiss.

At some point, Matthew’s mind had drifted back to Y/n, and he somehow became confused. It was as if he wished her into existence, and he was now kissing her, desperately. In his mind, the auburn hair in his hand was now y/c/h. He could smell vanilla and cherry blossom, and tasted the mint of Y/n’s mouthwash. 

Vivian moves closer to Matthew, needing more. The moans he was making, and the veracity in which he was kissing her, made her body crave more of him. Slowly, without breaking the contact between their lips, she climbed up onto his lap and straddled his hips. One of Matthew’s large hands tightly grasped her hips as his met hers, leading his erection straight into her clothed sex. Vivian moaned louder as she began unbuttoning his shirt.

When Y/n crawled into his lap, he almost lost it. He wanted it to be different this time. Slower. Gentler. He wanted to make love to her. But he also needed to feel her, so he grabbed her, so he grinded deeper against her. The friction he created, caused him to moan. In the back of his head, a voice told him to open his eyes… to stop. But, he didn’t listen. He needed Y/n… he needed this. Slowly, he started to work his hands up the back of Y/n’s shirt, scraping along the skin of her back, causing her to moan in his ear. Eyes still closed, Matthew rested his forehead against hers and said, “I’ve been thinking about this all day, baby!” Then roughly pulled her back down to his lips. 

*****

Exiting the elevator, Y/n dug through her bag and pulled out her keys as she quickly walked to her apartment door. Even though there wouldn’t be time to mess around, she was still excited to see Matthew and to steal some kisses. Sliding the key into the lock, she slowly opened the door and then froze. The cold air caught in her lungs, her stomach clenched as her heart ripped in two.

There, on the couch, with a breathtaking redhead in his lap, was Matthew. He was in the midst of a very heated makeout session, that was clearly going in only one direction.

She didn’t know what to do. She was stuck to the spot. Should she just leave? She could just get a plan b pill. Should she sneak past and grab what she needed and sneak back out? Should she say something? Tears started to form in her eyes as she began backing out of the apartment, when she heard his words. 

He had been thinking about it all DAY?!! She was suddenly filled with rage. So he was thinking about it when he was with her this morning and on the phone earlier? Oh fuck, no! Stepping into the apartment she slammed the door behind her.

*****

As soon as he pulled Y/n down into a deep kiss, a loud bang startled them, causing him to open his eyes and pull away from Y/n. Only, it wasn’t Y/n scrambling out of his lap, it was Vivian. Confusion and shock spread across his face when he turned to look where Vivian was focusing. Y/n was standing at the door with an expressionless face, but he knew. He sobered up instantly, knowing he had just fucked up, big time. 

Vivian could sense some kind of tension in the room, but wasn’t sure what it was. She assumed that the gorgeous woman standing just inside the apartment was Y/n. She didn’t realize Matthew’s roommate was going to be so beautiful. She definitely wasn’t what she had imagined. She noticed that Y/n and Matthew seemed to be having some kind of stare down. Almost like they were daring the other to say something. She decided that she would try and break the tension by introducing herself. Getting on her knees, she stretched her arm out over the back of the couch and sweetly said, “Hi! I’m Vivian! You must be Y/n. Matthew has told me so much about you!”

Y/n’s eyes slowly slid over to Vivian, and then dropped down to her hand. Lifting one brow, she pulled her eyes back up to Vivian’s face and, without a word, Y/n rolled her eyes and headed for her bedroom.

“Oh… okay,” she said, dropping her hand. Looking over at Matthew, he was staring straight ahead of himself, and his brows were furrowed. He looked concerned and confused, like he was trying to figure something out in his head. Vivian was getting the impression something big just happened, and that maybe it was time for her to leave. Reaching over, she touched Matthew’s arm, causing him to jump. 

He looked at her and said, “Hey, I’m sorry about that…. Um, I may have lied to her today and told her I couldn’t hang out… she- she can get kinda jeal-,” he was cut off by a loud banging sound coming from Y/n’s room. “What the-,” he said, jumping up and rushing to her room. 

Once inside, he found her using a giant rock that had served as a bookend, to smash at a lock on a trunk inside her closet. He rushed over to her and tried to stop her, by grabbing one of her arms, but she yanked away from him.

Turning, she said lowly, through clenched teeth, “Don’t. Fucking. Touch. Me.” She then turned back around and with one hard final blow, Y/n broke the lock and swung the lid open. Within the trunk, he saw the box of booze that used to be under her bed. Why did she lock it in the trunk? 

“Y/n… please stop. Please talk to me. Let me explain. I can explain,” Matthew begged, quietly. “Please put the vodka back, Baby you don’t need it,” he said, trying to reach for her again, but she shoved him away, causing him to stumble back.

“I’m not and never will be your baby! And you don’t get to decide what I need. Fuck you, Matty!”  
With that, she left her room and walked to the kitchen. Matthew followed her out and stopped in the middle of the living room when she put on a fake, nice tone, “Don’t mind me kids! I just forgot a couple of things. Can’t forget to take your birth control,” she said, grabbing it out of the cupboard. Walking back into the living room, she looked at Vivian, “You know what I mean. God forbid I ever got pregnant. I’m the last person in the world who needs to be a parent. I’m an absolute mess, really. Oh and, sorry about before. I can get a little moody when I’m sober,” she shook one of the bottles in her hand, “But, I’m sure Matty here has told you all about that. Anyways, you two have fun! Forget I was even here.” She shot Matthew a harsh look before plastering another fake smile on her face, quickly leaving the apartment, while the other two occupants were shocked for different reasons.

******

As she shut the door behind her, it took everything in her not to collapse outside the door. She felt like she was going to be sick. She started to walk down the hallway and she unscrewed the cap off the bottle and brought it to her lips. Just as she was reaching the elevator the doors popped open and Benny stepped out laughing.

“I thought I was going to have to drag you out by your hair,” he said before noticing the open bottle of vodka and the look on his sister’s face. “Why do you have that? What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Just then, Matthew stepped out into the hall and started walking toward them. Y/n shoved her brother into the elevator and hit the button to close the door, causing it to slide shut just as Matthew reached it and called her name. She then tipped the bottle back again and stumbled,until she was leaning against the wall. Then the doors opened again, she quickly pushed off the wall and said, “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” 

Benny matched her quick pace and once they were in the car and pulling off, he saw Matthew standing in the garage, watching them leave.

“So, are you going to tell me why you're drinking and why we are leaving Matthew alone?” 

“Because I was stupid to think he loved me and that he was going to be enough to help me get rid of the pain,” she cried, taking two more gulps of the vodka.

Benny tried to reach for the bottle, but she grabbed his wrist and said, “Touch it and I’ll break every finger on your hand.” 

Giving her a frightened look, Benny snatched his hand back, and said, “Can you at least slow down?”

“No.”

“Why not? You’re going to be unconscious by the time we get to the hotel.”

“Good.”

“Y/n, seriously! What happened?”

Turning in her seat, she set an angry gaze on him and said, “You want to know what happened? Okay, I’ll tell you. When I walked in there, he had the real-life equivalent of Jessica Rabbit straddling his lap with his tongue half way down her throat. Oh, and so we are all clear and caught up, apparently, he has been thinking about it all day. So...fuck him!”

“So he was on the date you told him to go on?”

Her eyes narrowed as she glared daggers at him. “I did not tell him to fuck her. He lied. And now I know he was thinking about her both times he fooled around with me, today. It’s all a fucking game to him!”

“Wait, they where having sex?”

Y/n growled and then snapped, “No! They were dressed!”

“So…. They were just making out?”

“Oh my god, yes! Why are you so fucking dense right now?”

“I don’t know! Why are you being such a fucking bitch to the person who is trying to help you right now? I’m not Matthew, so stop taking your fucking anger for him out on me!”

Crossing an arm over her chest, she drank some more out of her bottle, before sighing and grumbling an apology to Benny.

They were silent for the rest of the way back to the hotel. Y/n continued to drink her dreams with Matthew away. By the time they got there, she was clearly feeling it, and almost half the bottle was gone. 

Benny had to actually help her to the elevator and to their room. It was like the longer she was on her feet, the more drunk she seemed. He was hoping that once they got to the room, he would be able to get the bottle from her and get her into bed.

*****

It took Matthew a moment to snap out of it, when she walked out the door. But when his brain caught up, he realized he couldn’t let her leave without explaining. He had to talk to her.

Turning to Vivian, he said “I’m sorry, I’ll be right back. Excuse me.” He then shot out the door. She was at the elevator with Benny when he stepped out and quickly tried to catch up, before the door closed, but he was too late. The last thing he saw as the doors slid closed was Y/n tipping back her bottle of vodka. 

“Fuck!” How was he going to fix this? Could he even? Turning, he took the staircase down to the garage and just as he burst through the doors, he saw what he assumed to be Benny’s truck pulling away. 

Squeezing his eyes shut, he clenched his fists and tried to keep from throwing up. Vivian was still upstairs and he didn’t know how he was going to explain any of this. She was surely going to ask. 

Getting on the elevator, he rode it up to his floor and retired to his apartment. Upon entering, he noticed that Vivian had turned off the tv and straightened up the table the best she could, and had her shoes on with her purse in her lap. She was ready to leave. Which, honestly at this point, he preferred. This wasn’t her fault. It was his and he wanted to wallow in it. 

He smiled at Vivian and sat next to her. And they were both silent.

Then Vivian asked, “Is she really your girlfriend?”

“What? No!” Well, at least that wasn’t a lie. “We are just friends. She um… her brother is visiting, and she wanted me to hang out with them tonight. And I lied and said I was going to still be filming when really, I was here with you. I recently… like in the last two days, I found out that she has a pretty significant drinking problem.”

“Is that why I haven’t heard much from you?”

“Uh… yeah. I was trying to catch her before she took off with all that vodka. She’ll drink it all in one sitting if you let her.”

“She is so little though…”

“Yeah, I’m worried she is gonna drink too much one day and kill herself.” 

“I’m guessing you didn’t catch up with her?” 

“Nope, but Benny is with her, so I’m hoping it will be okay.”

“What was all that birth control stuff about? It was clearly directed at you… it’s not my place to ask, but you two… hook up?”

Matthew laughed nervously and lied, “No, but she did hook up with someone, and I guess they didn’t use protection… so I uh, I got on to her about it.”

“Wow that’s really risky in this day and age. I can’t believe there are still people who don’t use protection… I mean, I’m not trying to judge your friend or anything.”

He gave her a tight smile, and said, “No it’s cool. Um… so I’m sorry the night got weird.” He really just wanted her to go.

Sensing it was the end of the date, and time for her to head out, Vivian stood and started walking to the door and Matthew followed her.

She stopped right at the door and smiled up at him, “It wasn't all bad, right? We had something good going there for a moment? Maybe, we should try again soon? See where it brings us?”

Matthew just smiled at her and she lifted herself on her tiptoes and gave him a sweet gentle kiss which he half heartedly returned. She said good night, and headed home.

As soon as the door of his apartment shut behind Vivian, he locked it and pulled out his phone to call Y/n. Maybe she would pick up. He just needed her to understand. He knew she heard what he said. But he thought he was saying it to her. Walking over to the couch, he sat down and nervously bounced his leg, waiting for her to pick up. Her voicemail answered, instead. Sighing, he waited until he heard the beep.

“Y/n, please talk to me! I can explain. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I moved up the date. I did it when you left the studio with Rick. I was mad, and it was stupid, but then, there was last night and this morning and earlier on the phone. I was going to cancel. I felt bad, but you told me you still wanted me to go! What I said when you walk-,” he was cut off by her answering machine. Letting out a frustrated growl, Matthew called her again. This time it only rang twice and then voicemail.

“Y/n, please…. What I said, I thought I was saying it to you! I promise! Please talk to me. I was so high and you were on my mind all night because I kept thinking about how I wish it was you with me. Then she kissed me and I don’t know what happened. It’s like the wires in my hea-,”once again, he was cut off by her machine.

“Fuck!!”

He dialed again. This time it went straight to voicemail. 

Sighing, tears started to fill his eyes.   
“Y/n… please. Just give me five minutes. Please… I lo-,” his voice broke and he swallowed down the lump in his throat, “Y/n, I love you. I would never mean to hurt you. I was high and confused. I thought it was you the whole time. I promise. Just be safe. Please don’t drink too much… plea-.” When the call disconnected again, his shoulders sagged in defeat and he dropped his phone on the table in front of him. Leaning back, he rubbed his hands over his face, exhaling a deep breath and allowed his hand to fall into his lap.

Suddenly, a numb feeling washed over his body. The day had started out good, and hopeful. How could he have fucked it up so royally in less than 24 hrs?! He would never smoke with anyone other than Y/n, again. That is, if he ever sees her again. His eyes fell to the table and he saw that Vivian had left the rest of the blunt in the ashtray. He knew smoking it now was probably the worst thing he could do, but he didn’t care. Leaning forward, he snatched it up and fell back on the couch. He was going to need a lighter. Turning his head, he looked over the back of the couch towards Y/n’s room. Sighing, he got up and trudged his way over, slipping just inside her door. Standing there, he surveyed her room. His eyes first landed on the open trunk in her closet. Sighing, he next looked at the bed. Part of him wanted to just crawl under the blanket and surround himself with her scent, but, he remembered that she washed the bedding today. Turning his head, he looked over at her desk and scowled at a small pile of torn up paper on top. Walking over to get a closer look, he scattered the pieces out. Plopping down in the chair in front of the desk, he drew in a ragged breath when he realized what he was looking at. It was her photo booth strip from their last day together as kids. His search for a lighter was forgotten, as tears rolled down his cheeks, and he swept the tiny precious scraps of paper into his hand.


	9. Part 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 14 year old Matthew befriends the strange new girl that just moves to town after she stands up to some jocks who are bullying him. Their friendship develops into crushes and as soon as they admit it the reader’s family suddenly moves away. Several years later Matthew is starting his first day of shooting on CM and when he walks into the prop department guess who works there… the reader! They rekindle their friendship. It only gets complicated after Reader offers to help Matthew practice for his very first kissing scene.

After getting Y/n to their hotel room, Benny let her stumble her way to the couch. Tiredly, he trudged to the sofa and sat there watching as his sister, once again tipped back the bottle. When she lowered it, she stared into space with her glassy bloodshot eyes. It killed him to watch her slowly kill herself. Which is exactly what she was doing. He didn’t know if she knew it, but either way, it had to stop.

“Okay, that’s enough,” he said, loudly snatching the bottle from her hand. “I’m done watching you drink yourself to death.”

“Pffttt, don’t be soooo dramatic, my god! Now, give it here,” she slurred, reaching for her bottle. 

“Not gonna happen, Y/n. In fact...” he walked over to the sink and started to pour the rest of the vodka down the drain. 

Y/n shot up clumsily, and tried to rush at her brother, but in her drunken state she tripped over her feet and fell flat on the ground. Sitting up one her knees, she witnessed the last drops of liquor go down the drain. 

Benny watched as her shoulders sagged and began to shake as she started to sob. She then curled in on herself and laid on the floor. He walked over to Y/n, sitting next her, running his fingers through her hair, and murmured comforting words until her crying stopped. When he heard her even breathing, he quietly called her name. When she did not respond, he realized she had cried herself to sleep. Sighing, he stood and gently scooped his sister off the floor, carrying her to her room and placing her on the bed. He removed her shoes, and when he went to cover her with the comforter, he noticed that she was watching him with sad eyes.

Pulling the blankets up to her chin, he bent down and placed a kiss on the clammy skin of her forehead. 

“I’m sorry, Ben Ben,” Y/n said weakly, in a hollow voice.

“Shhh, get some sleep. I’m going to put the trash can right next to your bed.” He then brushed her hair out of her face, and watched as she closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep.

Walking out of her room, he left the door open a crack so he could hear her if she needed him. Sitting on the couch, he heard ringing coming from Y/n’s bag. Looking back at her room, Benny reached for it, but by the time he located her phone, it had stopped ringing. The screen flashed ‘1 missed call’ from Matthew. Did he really think she would talk to him right now? Benny put her phone on silent in case Matthew called back, and he did. As soon as a voicemail alert popped up, another incoming call from Matthew displayed on the phone’s screen. After a moment, Benny hit the reject button, but it didn’t take long for another voicemail alert, and another call to appear. As soon as Matthew’s name flashed across the screen, he hit ‘reject’ and a third voice voicemail was left. Benny waited with his finger on the reject button. About a minute had passed, and Benny assumed Matthew had finally gotten the hint.

Benny was about to toss Y/n’s phone back in her purse, when his curiosity got the better of him. Looking back at the room she slept in, Benny grabbed her phone and played the first voicemail. As he listened to Matthew’s pathetic excuses and explanation, the anger inside him came back. It was almost as if Matthew was trying to blame her for what happened. That if she hadn’t gone out with this Rick guy, he wouldn’t have moved the date up, and if she hadn’t told him to go on the date, there would have been nothing to walk into. What an ass. Without thinking, he angrily deleted Matthew’s first voicemail. 

Benny then played the next one, and it was even more pathetic than the first. Did he really think she was dumb enough to fall for the whole ‘I was thinking of you’ shit? The ‘I was so high, I didn’t know’ story? Yeah, whatever! Message deleted. 

Benny hit play on the final message. This time, despite himself, there was a tiny part of him that felt bad for Matthew. He was clearly crying, and sounded like he was giving up. But then, Benny remembered Matthew was an actor; one who was paid to cry on command. So, Benny’s anger returned. How dare he say he loves her or even beg for her not to drink too much? She was done with drinking before she walked into that apartment tonight. Benny couldn’t hit the delete option fast enough.

Fuck Matthew! He clearly wasn’t who he used to be. Fame must’ve changed him. Benny couldn’t believe he once looked up to, or even thought Matthew would never hurt his sister. He was clearly wrong. Turning off Y/n’s phone, he tossed it into her purse, and then checked on her one last time before heading to bed himself.

******

Y/n woke with a sour stomach and a pounding head. The moment her eyes opened, she could feel the contents of her stomach pushing its way up. Quickly, she rolled to the side and grabbed the trash can next to her bed, just as her body expelled the liquor and burger from the evening before. Once her stomach was empty, and the dry heaves had stopped, she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling while she caught her breath. The pounding in her head had only gotten worse as she felt her entire body ache. 

As she squeezed her eyes closed to calm the throbbing, the events of the night before came crashing back. She started to shake, tears her dehydrated body couldn’t afford, all at once, began to fall. She needed more liquor to numb this. Clumsily, she crawled from her bed and stood on unsteady feet. She was hit by another wave of nausea, and had to give herself a moment for it to pass before she stumbled out into the main living area of the hotel room. 

The first place her eyes settled, when exiting her room, was the mini-bar. As quietly as she could, doing her best to not wake Benny, Y/n made her way over to the tiny refrigerator and fell to her knees before it. Pulling the door open, she made quick work of opening and swallowing the contents of the small bottles of alcohol. She was almost half way through when Benny startled her from behind.

“Y/n! No! Stop!” he shouted as he ran to her, hooking his hands under her armpits, pulling her away from the mini-bar, while she flailed to get loose. 

“No! Let go! Benny, let go! I have to make it stop!” she screamed, as she struggled to get back to get away.

Benny just tightened his grip around her waist and across her chest, holding her back against his own. He tried his best to calm her with his words, and waited for her to stop struggling. 

Benny was much larger and stronger than Y/n, and she finally grew tired, her fight dissolving into full body sobs.

As his older sister fell apart, Benny fell back onto the couch, bringing her with him, holding her smaller, shaking frame, like you would a crying child. Rocking her, he promised her it would be okay, that Matthew wasn’t worth it, that she just needed to breathe.

“I have to make it stop, Benny… make it stop… please. I can’t… I can’t do it… please…,” she kept mumbling through her tears, until once again she drifted off into an exhausted sleep. 

Sitting with his sister still curled in his lap, Benny started to cry himself. He hated having to take care of her like this. It wasn’t the first time but, he always hoped it would be the last. Then, he feels guilty, because part of him doubts she will ever get better and he worries that if it is the last time, it will be because she is no longer around. The thought only makes him cry harder. 

He only allows himself a moment of tears though, pulling himself together. He needs to be strong for her, like she was for him so many years ago when they lived in fear of Larry. She protected him and he needed to return the same.

Gently, he stood up and lowered his sister onto the couch. He then headed to her room to collect a blanket, only to be hit by a strong odor; an acidic, sour smell upon entering the room. Wincing, he walked over to the trash can and tied off the bag. Grabbing a blanket and the trash can, Benny left the room and set the trash can by the door, and then returned to Y/n and covered her with the blanket. Turning, he headed to the mini-fridge and collected the array of empty miniature liquor bottles, throwing them away. He then gathered the remaining bottles and carried them to his room, placing them in the provided safe within the closet, and locked them away. Returning to the living area, he stood and stared at his sister. He didn’t know what to do next. Benny decided that he would get her some coffee and something to eat to help sober her up. He would just run down the street to the store and pick up a few things. He was pretty sure that there was a Starbucks down there, as well. Slipping on his shoes, Benny grabbed his room and car keys, and headed out. It should be fine to leave her for a little bit.

******

Matthew spent most of his night tossing and turning, but currently, he was staring at the ceiling above his bed. He was thinking about the time they dragged the ladder up the stairs to his room and stuck those glow-in-the-dark stars all over his ceiling. He also remembered how mad his mom was when she discovered the parallel scratch marks the ladder left in the wood of the stairs. 

Memories of their first year together filtered through his brain, and it was tearing him apart. It almost felt like the moment before death; when your life flashed before your eyes. Sighing, he let his head fall to the side and his eyes landed, for the fourth-millionth time, on the scraps of her torn-up photo strip, sitting on his nightstand.

He had not been able to bring himself to throw them away, but now they just sat there, taunting him. Finding the destroyed memory left him with an uneasy feeling. Like, maybe this is something that he won’t be able to fix, much like the photograph. He still had to believe he could try though. 

Giving up on sleep, Matthew sat up and collected the shredded pieces, carrying them to the living room. After placing them on the coffee table, he turned on the side table lamp and headed to the kitchen for some tape. Maybe, if he could reconstruct the photo strip, it would give him hope for doing the same with his relationship with Y/n. 

Returning to the living room, Matthew spent the next two hours carefully rearranging and fusing together the tattered pieces of one of his most cherished memories. When he was finished, he walked to Y/n’s room, gently placing the photo in the middle of her already-made bed. It wasn’t as beautiful as it had once been, but it was put back together, and hopefully, he could do the same with them.

Tiredly, he left her room and got himself ready for the day. Hopefully, he would be able to talk to her once she got to work. He had to believe, for his own sanity, that this could be mended.

*****

Y/n woken suddenly by the sounds of people laughing in the hallway. Her head was still pounding and her world was spinning. She could still feel some of the effects of the liquor from earlier, but it wasn’t enough, as long as she could still feel the faint ache of the evening before. Sitting up, she called out for Benny. When she got no answer, she walked over to his room and looked inside. He wasn’t there. Confused, she then checked her room, which was also empty. Guessing he stepped out, Y/n turned to the mini-bar, deciding that now would be a perfect time to finish it, since Benny wasn’t here to stop her.

Quickly, making her way to the bar, Y/n pulled it open to discover it was empty. Slamming the door shut, she let out a frustrated growl.

“That little shit!” She was pissed. He thought he was helping, but he just needed to mind his own business. That was fine, though. She would go out herself and find what she needed. 

Deciding that she should try to at least save her friendship with Matthew, Y/n went to her room and quickly showered and changed. She spent little time on her makeup before grabbing her bag, closing the door behind her.

As she stepped out of the hotel’s front lobby, she turned on her phone, hoping to see at least one missed call from Matthew, maybe even a voicemail. Her heart dropped even more when she saw that there was nothing. No calls. No texts. No voicemails. Y/n quickly let her sadness turn into anger as she began dialing Rick’s number. The man was an ass, too, but at least he was an honest one. As she started to walk down the road, she waited for him to answer. It wasn’t until the fourth ring that she heard his groggy hello.

“Hey you! I was wondering if you could pick me up somewhere? We can hang out. Get some drinks,” she suggested, excitedly.

“Y/n? Do you know what time it is? Not only that, shouldn’t you be leaving for work or something?”

Sighing with annoyance, she realized he was right. She was supposed to go to work soon. Well, that wasn’t going to happen. She just didn’t think she could look at Matthew’s stupid face anyway.

“I took the day off, now come get me. We can spend the day together! It could be fun…,” she said, with a hint of promise and an audible smile.

Rick’s line was quiet for a moment, but when she heard the rustling of his beer, she knew she had him.

“Where are you? Wait, isn’t your brother in town? Why are you ditching him? Does this have to do with Matthew?”

“What can I say? Benny is being overbearing and Matty can kiss my ass. I just need to get away from both of them, and spend some time with one of my most favorite guys! You don’t tell me what to do or lie to me, so, right now you're my numero uno!” Just then, her phone started to beep, telling her she had an incoming call. Pulling it away from her head, she saw that it was Benny, and she hit the reject button before returning the phone to her ear.

“Yah, I see we are turning on the flattery. Well, don’t strain yourself. I already have my shoes on, so where am I picking you up from?”

Smiling, Y/n gave Rick the address to the Waffle House she was walking into. As she took a seat in a booth, she said goodbye and hung up her phone. She was then greeted by a waiter and ordered some waffles, bacon, hash browns with a coffee. As he walked away, her phone, once again, started to ring. And, once against, she hit reject. She quickly put Benny on ‘do not disturb’ so she wouldn’t have to deal with him until she was ready. She knew she was being selfish, and that he would worry, but, honestly, she was just past the point of not caring.

As she sat and waited for her food, she debated whether or not she should call Kathryn and tell her that she would not be able to make it in. She knew that if she spoke to her sponsor right now, she would know that something was up, and would try and talk her out of her day of much needed booze, weed and fun. Who knows, Rick may even get what Matthew had previously implied he wanted.

At this point, Rick was looking like the better choice. He didn’t care how much she drank, he always picked her up when she needed him, and he clearly liked her. 

Y/n decided that she just wasn’t going to go. She couldn’t call Kathryn. If she lost her job, oh well. Again, she just couldn’t find it in herself to give a fuck. She’ll find a job that doesn’t involve seeing Matthew all day. Maybe Rick would let her come work at the bar. If there is one thing she could do, it was mix a great drink. Y/n giggled at her own thought when she heard Rick’s voice.

“What’s so funny?”

“Wow, that didn’t take you long. We only hung up twenty minutes ago. Thank you,” Y/n said, smiling at the waiter as he placed her food in front of her.

“Maybe the prospect of spending the day with you gave me a bit of a lead foot,” he said, staring at her with affection. Which then turned into a frown, as he watched to eat like a heathen. “Slow down, it’s not going anywhere.”

“Sorry,” she said, around a mouth full of hash browns.

Shaking his head at her, he asked, “So what did you have in mind for the day?”

“I don’t care, as long as it involves copious amounts of alcohol,” she said, before shoving a large bit of waffles in her mouth.

“Okay, that is definitely doable. You gonna tell me what happened though?”

Shrugging her shoulders, she finally put down her fork and said, “I don’t know. How about you get me drunk first, and then maybe it will slip.”

He squinted his eyes at her. He knew good and well, Y/n was a pretty severe alcoholic, but he still liked her. It didn’t hurt that she was great to look at. But, he was starting to wonder if giving into her was really a good idea. He knew though, the day she stopped drinking, or the day he refused her requests would be the last time he saw her. That was definitely something he didn’t want.

“Grab your bag. I’ll get your food. I’ll meet you at the car,” he said, tossing her his keys and heading to the register.

Smiling, Y/n caught the keys and hurried outside and slid into the passenger side seat of Rick’s car.

******

Benny was fiddling with his radio as he turned back into the hotel parking lot, completely missing his sister turning the corner and starting to walk down the road. Pulling into a parking spot, he collected the bags of goodies and the cup carrier of his sister’s favorite Starbucks coffee. Once he made it back up to his room, he kicked the door open with his foot. He was hoping it would wake Y/n, and that she would answer the door. After a pause, and three more taps with the toe of his work boot, Benny rolled his eyes and gently placed the cup holder of coffee down on the hallway floor and fished out his room key. 

“Swear to God, that girl can sleep through anything,” he said to himself, unlocking the door. Opening it a crack, he deposited the bags of food just inside the door. Keeping the door propped open with his foot, he then bent down to retrieve the coffee. 

“Wakey, wakey, I’ve got eggs and bakey! Thanks for the help, sleeping bea-,” he shouted, only to stop when he saw she wasn’t on the couch. Guessing she might be in the bathroom he placed the coffee on the desk, and picked up all the bags and placed them in the kitchenette area. While putting the refrigerated items away, he called out, “I got you some coffee! I also stopped and got you some waffles and bacon. Along with some comfort snacks… Y/n? Hey, can you hear me?” he asked, walking into her empty room. He saw her dirty clothes on the floor, along with a wet towel on the bed. Scowling, he picked up the towel and looked over into the empty bathroom. He then had the thought of her possibly getting into the safe, so he dropped the towel and hurried to his room. Upon entering it, he found everything undisturbed. Walking over to the safe, he put in the code and pulled the door open. It was untouched.

Closing it again, Benny stood up and pulled his phone out to call Y/n. It rang about three times before going to voicemail. Where could she have gone and why did she reject his call? Deep down, he knew though. He knew that she left in search of something to drink. 

Grabbing his car keys again, Benny decided that he was going to head over to her apartment. She could have gotten an Uber and was heading there. His more positive side was trying to hope that she may have chosen to go to work, but he knew better. Just another great job, she will destroy for a drink. Sighing, Benny climbed back into his car and headed out to look for his sister before she got herself injured or arrested.

******

Matthew arrived at the studio lot earlier than normal. He wanted to wait outside until Y/n got there. She may not answer his phone calls but it’s gonna be hard to ignore him while they are at work. So, he sat on the steps of his trailer, waiting for Benny’s truck to pull up. 

He started to bounce his knee, anxiously, as time passed on. He was starting to think she wasn’t coming. How is he supposed to fix this if she won’t stop avoiding him? If she would only just listen to him.

Pulling out his phone, he pulled up her name and hit ‘call.’ He listened to it ring, until the mailbox picked it up. Sighing, Matthew left another message, “Y/n, where are you? Are you trying to get fired?” he asked, before pausing a moment and continuing, “I really hope you're okay…. please call me back. I’m worried about you.”

“Hey, what’s up with you? Why are you out here?” AJ asked, walking by his trailer.

“Oh nothing, I was just waiting for Y/n to show up…. But I don’t think she is,” he said, forlornly, standing up and wiping off the seat of his pants, following AJ into the studio. 

“I thought you two rode in together?”

“Um, her little brother is in town. She’s staying with him at a hotel all week. She was supposed to bring him into work today.”

“Gotcha…So, how was the date?” she asked, smiling at him, excitedly. However, her excitement died down when she saw him wince. She sucked air in, through her teeth, making a hissing noise and then asked, “That bad, huh?”

“I mean the date itself was fine. Vivian’s beautiful, sweet, and funny; not to mention, very understanding. It was the end of the date that was on the painful side. Uh… we may have smoked a little bit, which I’m really sensitive to. It always hits me really hard. Anyway, we started kissing and I may have gotten a little confused… I thought it was Y/n and-.”

“Please tell me you didn’t say her name!”

“What? No! Though, I may have preferred that to what actually happened. Y/n walked in on us just as I was saying how I had been thinking about her all day…. only from her vantage point, it looked like I was saying it to Vivian.”

“Okay… so it’s okay for you to look forward to your date. Anyways, Y/n is the one who told you to go, so what’s the big deal?”

Drawing his eyebrows together, Matthew tried to decide how much he should explain. Sighing he said, “I lied about when the date would be… or, at least, I didn’t tell her I changed it. Also… we may have had a couple of pretty adult interactions yesterday and I’m pretty sure she thinks I was thinking of Vivian the whole time. Which, if she just calmed down and really thought about it, she would realize that there is no way that is possible. Yesterday felt like a turning point in our relationship… that was, before she walked in on Vivian and I. Now I’m worried she is somewhere drinking herself to death.”

When he had stopped talking, he looked over at AJ, who looked confused, if not a little annoyed. 

“What?”

“Okay, so I know she told you to go on the date, but if you have feelings for Y/n, then why did you go? Why didn’t you cancel the date? Especially, if you felt like yesterday was a ‘turning point?’”

“Well… I- I was just trying to do what she wanted. Also, I was going to cancel the date, but when I called Vivian, she was so excited. I didn’t want to hurt her. I just figured one date, then that was it, I’d let her down gently,” he tried to explain.

AJ’s brows drew in further as she squinted and tilted her head. Then, shaking it, she said, “So then why did you make out with her? If you knew that it was going to be the only date, why did you even kiss her? You say you didn’t want to hurt her, but what do you think’s gonna happen when she finds out everything? What have you even told her about Y/n? Let me guess, just an old childhood friend that you reunited with and are now ‘just roommates.’ And, how did you explain the hurt that was probably clearly visible on Y/n’s face when she found you? Really, Matthew, I would have never pinned you for one of those guys! I feel really bad for both of them…”

“I- I didn’t mean to make out with her. She kissed me, but, like I told you, I got confused. I thought I was making out with Y/n. I’m not one of those guys… really, I’m not!”

“Okay… you came out to Vivian, though, right? Apologized and told her the truth? Explained the situation?”

Matthew averted his eyes and said nothing. Feeling really ashamed of himself, he nervously shifted on his feet.

Laughing in disbelief, AJ shook her head and said, “Yeah, that’s what I thought. You know, I’m really just disappointed in you, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Y/n doesn’t talk to you again. I don’t think I would if I was in her position.” Shaking her head at him one more time, she walked away, leaving Matthew to wallow in his guilt.

Trying to blink back tears, Matthew pulled his phone out and, once again, tried to call Y/n. His call went straight to voicemail. He hung up without leaving a message. Swallowing down a sod that was threatening to escape his body, he turned around and quickly walked back to his trailer to pull himself together. 

AJ's words ripped into him and scared him beyond belief. Mostly, it opened his eyes… because he was pretty sure she was right. Y/n was wrong all along. It was him that wasn’t good enough for her.

******

Y/n was swaying at the jukebox, making selections with some money Rick had given her. They had been at the bar for about 45 minutes, and she was already four glasses in. She decided to slow down, now that she got a solid buzz. The ache in her chest had subsided, and she felt a little bit more like herself. 

Rick was standing behind the bar with a beer in his hand, when he saw her upturned phone light up. Matthew’s name and picture flashed across the screen. He waited for Y/n to notice, but the ringtone was down low and the music from the jukebox was loud. Once the call disconnected, slowly, he reached over and discretely turned off her phone and tossed it in her purse. He didn’t want her to get distracted. Today was his day. Coming around the bar, he walked up behind Y/n and in a seemingly platonic way, draped his arm over her shoulder. Turning, she looked up at him and smiled. She was so fucking beautiful and he had a good feeling about today.

Y/n slipped out from under his arm and twirled to Fleetwood Mac’s, “Rhiannon.” This is what she needed; a strong drink, and good music to dance too. Facing Rick, who was leaning against the jukebox, watching her dance, she asked, “You want to smoke? I got some weed.”

Smiling, he just nodded his head and followed her over to the bar.

Hopping up onto a stool, Y/n pulled out her box and prepared a joint. As she placed the buds in her grinder and started to twist, she turned her head towards Rick and asked, “So how long do we have the bar to ourselves before your staff shows up?”

“We open at noon, and they come in an hour early, so we have until eleven. Why, did you have plans for something?” he asked, somewhat suggestively.

Picking up on his change in tone, Y/n chose not to acknowledge it and pretended she didn’t pick up on his meaning. She still wasn’t drunk enough for that. Turning back to her task of rolling a joint, she said, “No, not really. I was just wondering how long I had before I had to interact with other humans.”

Laughing, he stepped closer to her and pushed her hair behind her ear. 

“You're interacting with me and I’m a human.”

Stepping out of his reach, Y/n grabbed her cup and finished her whiskey before lighting the joint. Putting some more distance between her and Rick, she moved behind the bar to grab the bottle and refill the cup. Leaning across the bar, she passed the joint to Rick, who now seemed slightly annoyed.  
Choosing to ignore that too, Y/n asked, “So, would you let me work here if I lost my job at the studio?”

“You want a job? I’m not gonna lie… I’d be worried you would drink more than you sold,” he said, passing her the joint.

Y/n scowled at him and snatched back the weed, before taking a long pull and holding it for a beat. As she released the smoke from her lungs, she asked in a strand voice, “So is that a ‘no?’” She then took another hit and held it while passing it back to Rick.

Taking it back, he held it for a moment and hummed, as though he was really giving it a thought. Finally, he took a pull and said, “Nah, you could have a job. I wouldn’t mind seeing you around more often.” Smiling at her, he handed the joint back, and let her finish it off. “So… you gonna tell me why you’re here with me and not with your brother or Matty?” He smirked when he said the other man’s name, knowing that Matthew hated it when people called him that.

Y/n busied herself with snuffing out the joint, before saying anything. Shrugging her shoulders, she said, “Matthew lied about when his date was and I walked in on them, with her in his lap and him telling her how he’d been thinking about what they were doing all day. Which would be fine, if we hadn’t fucked half-stupid that morning with him acting all sweet and boyfriendish towards me. Not to mention, not even two hours before that, we had really hot FaceTime sex.” Y/n grabbed her drink and downed half of it, before continuing, “I- I was planning on telling him today that I wanted us to date. I even locked up all my booze, thinking that I would even quite drinking for him.” She let out a sharp laugh before finishing her drink and refilling it.

“Okay… Mr. Perfect-Model Boy turned out to be an ass. But, what about your brother?”

“Well, for one, he poured my vodka down the drain and then wouldn’t let me drink anything from the mini-bar. I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up, he was gone and he took the rest of the contents of the mini-bar with him. Doesn’t he understand I need it right now? Like, he needs to back off and just let me make my own decisions. I am older than him. So yeah, I ditched him.”

“Okay, well I kinda feel bad for your brother. He is just trying to keep you safe and he’s probably pretty worried about you. I’m guessing you left before he got back?”

Y/n nodded and sipped her drink, still not giving a fuck. She just shrugged her shoulders and moved out from behind the bar, and started to dance to the music again.

“What about Matthew? You feel bad for him?”

Picking up her cup and finishing the rest, Rick placed the glass back down with a clunk, before pushing off the bar and walking toward Y/n. Stopping in front of her, he stopped and wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. When her body was flush against his, he looked down at her, smiled, and said, “Not a fucking bit. The way I see it, his loss, my gain. Is it my gain?”

Y/n looked up at him and tilted her head to the side, studying his face. Licking her bottom lip, and then catching between her teeth, one corner lifted in a lopsided smile. Nodding her head, she said, “Yeah. I think it might.”

Rick smiled back down at her, before dipping down to capture her lips in a kiss. A kiss that quickly became heated, as he picked her up and placed her on a table.

******

It had been hours since Benny went to the apartment and no one was there. He drove up and down the street of the hotel, still trying to figure out where she would go. He looked up all the bars and liquor stores within walking distance. He had called the local hospitals and the police station. Nothing! To say he was, at the point of panic, would be an understatement. 

The only thing he could think of now, was to find Matthew and ask him if he knew where she might be. He absolutely hated having to involve him, but what else was he to do? Quickly googling the address to the studio, he got back in his truck and headed to his sister’s job.

Once he arrived, he was stopped at the gate and was told that unless he worked there, he would not be let in. 

“I’m friends with two people who work here. On Criminal Minds; Matthew Gubler and y/f/n y/l/n. Y/n is missing, and she’s my sister, and Matthew’s roommate and best friend. They usually drive in together.”

“Sir, just because you know someone who works here, it’s not enough. Now, can you please move along?”

Sighing in frustration, Benny tried one more time, “Is there any way you can call someone on set, or at the studio that can talk to Matthew? Relay a message? If he is able to tell you I’m on the up and up, will you let me in, then?”

Narrowing his eyes, the guard asked for Benny’s name, again, and told him to pull to the side and park. He then disappeared into his booth and picked up a phone. The call almost took about ten minutes and Benny was starting to get nervous, but then the man hung up, and stepped out of the booth, walking towards his truck. 

“Okay, here is an hour pass,” he said, handing Benny a hanging rear view mirror tag. “They film on lot 6. Go straight down four intersections, and then turn right and head all the way down. Gubler said he would wait for you outside.” He then walked back to the booth and opened the gate. 

Following the guard’s directions, Benny pulled up to the studio just in time to see Matthew quickly rush out the studio door. Parking his truck, he stepped out and started to walk towards Matthew. 

Despite his concern, Matthew was excited to see Benny. He used to really love the kid. He was just as big a part of his life as Y/n had been, and when they left, he had also mourned the list of her brother. As Benny walked toward him, a large smile spread across his face. Matthew started to walk toward him as well, and as he approached him, he opened up his arms to pull him into a tight hug; but was stopped when Benny shoved him hard, causing him to stumble back. Staring at the younger man in shock, all he saw was anger radiating off of him and resisted the urge to shrink away, a little. Benny had grown into a very intimidatingly large man. Gone was the little boy he used to teach magic to. Swallowing, he asked, “How can I help you, Benny? Where is Y/n?” His eyes flickered back to the empty truck, and back to the man in front of him.

“See that’s the thing, Matt. I don’t know where she is. I’ve spent the better half of the last eight hours trying to find her. Which, I wouldn’t be, if it wasn’t for your inability to not think with your dick! So, here what’s going to happen; you are going to tell me all the places she could have gone, and then when I find her, you’re never going to touch her again. Because at this point, I pretty much blame you from the utter and complete destruction of who my sister once was! So. Are. We. Clear?”

Matthew stood there, eyes wide, opening and closing his mouth, like a fish. He didn’t know what to say, and his brain was still trying to process everything Benny had just angrily thrown at him. When he hadn’t said anything, Benny stepped closer to him and got in his face with clenched teeth, he said, “Where did she go?”

Shemar was walking out of the studio, just in time to see some big buff guy get right in his friend's face, and judging from Matthew’s expression, it didn’t look like it was going to end well for him. Quickly stepping up to the situation, Shemar pulled his friend back and placed himself between Matthew and the other guy. 

“I don’t know who you are, man, or how you got through security, but you gotta go or I’m gonna call the cops.”

Benny and Matthew started talking at the same time.

“Whoa! Whoa! Wait! One at a time!”

“I’m not going anywhere until he tells me where my sister is!” yelled Benny.

“He’s Y/n’s brother! It’s okay, he’s just upset. She’s missing. I fucked up last night and it set her off. He can’t find her,” Matthew explained, quickly.

Shemar looked at his friend with annoyance, “I told you, you were being stupid. Tell the man where to find Y/n.”

“I- I don’t know for sure, but when she is upset, she usually calls Rick to pick her up. He owns the bar we go to a lot. Well, she goes to alot.”

“Where is it?” Benny asked.

“It’s in downtown L.A. on Spring St. Crane’s Bar. I can show you where it is. Let me go with you, please?” Matthew asked, pleadingly.

“No, I’m good. I’ll find it on my own,” Benny said, as he turned and walked back to his truck.

Matthew and Shemar watched as he drove away and turned down the main road.

Turning to Matthew, Shemar just looked at him a moment, and waited for him to explain.

“What?” Matthew snapped as he walked toward his trailer to change. Benny might not want him to show him where the bar is, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t going to still go. It would be the perfect time to get Y/n to talk to him.

Following close behind his friend, Shemar said, “What? You know what, man! What the fuck you do to make her brother come here and get in your face like that? ‘Cause I’m not gonna lie man, one punch from that dude and your skinny ass would’ve crumpled.”

Matthew glared at his friend, as he changed from his ‘Spencer’ wardrobe and into his own clothes. “I just fucked up, okay! You were right. Y/n walked in on me and Vivian making out. It’s been brought to my attention, that fact that I was thinking about Y/n the whole time, doesn’t make it any better. I should have gone with my gut and just canceled the thing.”

“Man, for two people who are seemingly in love, you sure do hurt each other a lot. Maybe you should just let her go, man. That girl needs to get right with herself before she can get right with you. You can’t properly love someone if you don’t love yourself.”

Matthew stopped with his pants half way up his legs. Shemar’s words left an unsettling truth that felt like a heavy pit at the bottom of his stomach. Shaking it off, he finished dressing. “No, I love her and if she didn’t love me, last night wouldn’t have bothered her so bad. I can still fix this. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, about to leave, but was stopped by the last piece of wisdom his friend had.

“You’re a fool if you think your love alone will cure her. That girl needs help. Real, professional help. If you love her like you say you do, then show her by getting her that help, and supporting her like a best friend should. Stop worrying about ‘getting it in’ or her ‘being your girl,’ because if it’s meant to be, it will happen. But it will never be the way you’re hoping for, until she dries out and sobers up. That’s how you’re gonna show her you love her.”

Once again, his friend’s truth left him with a painful twisting feeling in his stomach. As much as he knew Shemar was right, he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to do the right thing. He wasn’t sure he could let her go.

******  
Benny and Rick’s POV 

Benny pulled up in front of the bar and parked. He could hear the music and the sound of people, before he opened the door and walked into the dimly lit bar. Scanning the patrons in the room, his eyes landed on his sister, on the other side of the room, leaning across the bar and making out with some tall ginger guy. After pulling away, he gave her a glass and filled it with what looked like whiskey. 

Quickly, Benny walked towards her as she started to stumble towards a table. Catching her by her arm, Benny pulled the glass of alcohol from her hand and placed it back on the bar.

“I’ve been going out of my fucking mind trying to find you!” Benny said loudly, over the noise in the bar. “It’s time to go.” He started dragging his sister to the exit by her arm.

It wasn’t until he felt Y/n being tugged back, did Benny turn around to see the redhead from the bar. Y/n curled into his side and was cooing, while she drunkenly played with his hair and pet his face. The guy wrapped his arm around his sister’s waist and glared at him. 

“I don’t know who you are, man, but you're not gonna bust in here and start yanking my friend around like that.”

Laughing, Benny shook his head. He was getting really tired of all the men his sister keeps company with.  
Leaning forward, he gently laid his fingertips on Y/n’s shoulders. “Y/n, come on. Y/n, this is enough now, you’ve had some drinks. I’m sorry I didn’t have the little bottles, but let's go back to our hotel room. I'll get you something to eat on the way.”

Rick, now realizing who the man before him was, loosened his grip on her waist a little, but said, “She was planning on coming home with me tonight,” before looking over at Y/n, asking, “Right?”

Benny glared at the guy who was clearly much more sober than his sister. After he confirmed with Y/n, Benny watched as she giggled, biting her lip, and gave an exaggerated head nod.

Rick looked back at her brother and said, “See, she’s made up her mind. So, you can run along. I’ll take care of her tonight. I’ll drop her off tomorrow, sometime.”

“Yeah, I think not. I’m not leaving my overly intoxicated sister with a guy who is ten times more sober than she is. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure of your intentions toward my sister, and I can’t help but think that, if she wasn’t so far gone, she might decide otherwise. Also, she has had enough. She can barely stand, and you just handed her another full glass. So, no, she won’t be going home with you tonight.”

Benny then, once again reached out to grab Y/n’s arm to pull her towards him. “Come on, look at me,” he waited until she did, and continued, “Is this really what you want, or are you just mad and trying to get back at someone?”

He waited while her foggy brain processed everything he just said, and when he saw her nose flare and her chin twitch, he knew he had gotten through to her. Slowly, she pulled away from Rick, giving him an apologetic look, before moving towards her brother. Just then, her eyes fluttered over to the door and she froze.

Turning, Benny saw Matthew standing just inside the bar’s entrance, and he was currently having a stare down with his sister. Oh, for fuck’s sake. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Rick said, mirroring Benny’s inner feelings. He assumed that the moment Y/n had a chance, she would ditch him for Matthew and find a corner somewhere to kiss and make up. But she surprised him when a cruel smirk spread across her face, and once again tucked herself along his side. 

Seeing the change in his sister instantly, he tried to draw her attention back to him, even though he now knew it would be useless.

“Y/n, come on let’s just go. Forget this guy. Forget Matthew. You’re only going to make things worse and you’re gonna beat yourself up over it. It’s what you always do. Come on! Don’t do this. Please?”

Y/n eyes flicker over to him and she held his gaze for a moment, before a giggle bubbled out of her. With a simple ‘no,’ she walked back to the bar with Rick, who poured her another drink. 

Turning to Matthew, who was still standing but the doorway, with an unreadable look in his face, Benny quickly approached him and said, “I told you I didn’t need you here. I had almost talked her into leaving with me. So she could sober up and not make any shit decisions. But you didn’t listen, and now you get to watch as she purposely throws herself at that overgrown Weasley. Hope you have fun with that, numb nuts.” Shaking his head, Benny walked off and took a seat where he would be able to keep an eye on his sister.

******

Matthew and Y/n’s POV

The moment he walked in and saw Y/n cuddled up to Rick, his stomach dropped. But then, it looked like she was going to Benny and he blew out a breath of relief, that was, until she saw him. When her glossy bloodshot eyes locked with his, he knew he had fucked up by coming to the bar.

He saw the moment she decided how she was going to play the night. She was going to do her best to make him feel the way he made her feel last night. And it was going to work. The smile that spread across her face, just before practically wrapping herself around Rick, felt like a knife to the gut. 

He quickly looked away. He couldn’t watch as she walked away with Rick. As he stared, unblinking at the floor in front of him, he tried to pull himself together. When he looked up again, Benny’s angry face was right in front of his, making him jump. He just stood there and listened, as Benny, once again laid into him, today. He deserved it though. Everything Benny just said was valid. He didn’t listen, choosing to come to the bar, anyway, and because of that, he would have to watch the woman he loves fucking Rick, of all people. 

Part of him didn’t know if he should stay or go? Logically, he knew leaving now would probably result in preventing further damage, but in his heart, he just needed her to hear him. Taking a note from Benny, Matthew took a seat in a booth on the opposite side or the bar from her brother. Pulling out his phone, he played some games and flipped through his social media, so he wouldn’t be tempted to just sit and watch Y/n’s obvious attempts at making him jealous. He was happy to see that karaoke was starting. It would give him something else to focus on. 

Every once in a while, he would feel her eyes on him and when he looked up she would look away. To be honest, he did the same thing to her several times, too. He would catch himself just watching her every move. The way she swung her legs on the bar stool, or how she threw her head back as she laughed. Even the way she bit her lip when she smiled at Rick. All he wanted to do was go up to her and spin her around and shake her. Tell her to cut the crap and just fucking listen to him.

Taking a deep breath, he refocused on the man slaughtering a Beatles song on stage. The next time he looked over, though, Rick was gone and Y/n was staring at him with her head tilted to the side. His heart started to pick up and he swallowed, nervously, as she clumsily slid off the stool and weaved in his direction. Once she got to his table, she leaned over with both hands flat on the table top. He could see down the deep V of her black Dickies jumper skirt. That dress has always done things to him. He couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to hike up that skirt and unbutton the top, fucking her while her tits bounced. That dress has been a guest star in many of his virginal masturbation fantasies.

Even in her intoxicated state, Y/n noticed the first place Matthew’s eyes went. Not that she was surprised, it’s been clear that’s all it ever was to him. He had played her pretty damn well. But that was fine, because she was moving on, because it was only a matter of time before his eyes moved back up and saw the marks Rick had left on her skin. As if on cue, Y/n giggled as the vein on his forehead popped out and he clenched his jaw.

It was then, she realized that the table he chose to sit at was the one that she was on when Rick went down on her. They would have gone further if his employees hadn’t started to show up.

Matthew noticed that Y/n drifted off somewhere in her mind, and hummed, then giggled, while rubbing her hand over the top of the table. Starting to get annoyed, he reached out and stilled her hand and snapped, “What’s so funny?”

It took a moment for her to refocus on Matthew, and when she did, she giggled again, and slurred, “Just funny that you sat here. Of all places… it's been really busy right here tonight.”

Catching on to what she may be implying, he snatched his hand off of her’s, and quickly exited the booth and started to walk towards the exit. He didn’t want to hear or know about it. 

Y/n followed quickly behind him, and asked, “What’s wrong Matty? At least you didn’t have to see it.”

Spinning around, he towered over her, and with clenched teeth, he snapped, “I didn’t fuck her. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to hear about you fucking Rick. I understand what I did was wrong, but I wasn’t doing it to intentionally hurt you. Like you are doing to me right now. If you would have listened to the messages I sent you, or answered your phone; you would have known that. All you had to do was slow the fuck down and listen to me.”

Y/n eyes narrowed, as she said, “You’re a fucking lair! You never called, and I never got any messages. You lied to me and you used me, and played fucking mind games with me. You never wanted to be with me. You just didn’t want to be a VIRGIN when it came time to fuck her!”

They were starting to draw attention to themselves as they argued. 

Matthew gave Y/n an indignant look, and snapped back, “That’s bullshit! You’re the one who wanted to fuck me! It was your idea. I even turned you down the first time because I didn’t want it to fuck up our friendship. Like it has now. Honestly, I kinda wish we never did it!”

Y/n stood there with her mouth hanging open, looking hurt. Matthew didn’t pick up on it, though, and kept going, “And for you to call me a liar is hilarious. The girl who hides fucking bottles of liquor under her bed. Also, I did call you! I called at least eight times since yesterday. I know I left at least four messages.”

“No, you didn’t! I would have seen them! And even if you had, it wouldn’t have mattered. Nothing you had to say would take away the image of her in your lap and your hands up her shirt while telling her how much you had been thinking about her all day!”

“I thought she was YOU! I was high off my ass and I wanted YOU! So when she kissed me, I closed my eyes and pictured YOU. YOU, Y/n, it got to that point, because I thought it was YOU on my lap. Those words I said were meant for YOU.” His voice lowered and softened, as his fight ran out. She either would believe him or she wouldn’t.

She just stood there, quiet with her nose flared, her head held high, and her lips pursed. She was breathing hard and he wasn’t sure what to think. Was she mad? She looked mad. The tension at this point was killing him. He just needed her to say something. 

“Y/n…,” he quietly, pleaded. He nervously reached out and placed his hand gently on her elbow before slowly letting it glide down her arm. Swallowing nervously, he whispered, “I love you. I would never hurt you on purpose.” He gently held her hand. 

Y/n couldn’t believe him. How could he stand there with his stupid gentle eyes and sincere voice? Stand there and lie to her... Spout false words to try and win her over. He never called her. Never left messages. She was drunk, not slow. So if he thinks he is going to stand here and use his newfound acting skills and give her puppy dog eyes then she would play his game, too. 

Slowly, she softened her face and moved closer to him and placed her flat palms against his chest and her forehead along his clavicle. As she hummed and gently started to sway her body, she felt his hand settle gently on her hip while his other hand settled softly on the back of her head. She could feel the tension in his body relax, and he even let out a sigh of what she assumed was relief. 

Matthew couldn’t believe he had finally gotten through to her. Just the feeling of her against his body again had his hands shaking and his heart pounding. Gently, he moved the hand that had been resting on the back of her head, using his long, thin index finger, he hooked her chin and lifted her face up so he could look into her eyes. She smiled sweetly up at him.

Y/n watched as Matthew’s eyes bounced around her face, from her eyes to her lips, and then back to her eyes. He wanted to kiss her, but was waiting for her signal. She smiled softly at him. Raising up on her toes, and leaning in toward his ear, she whispered sweetly, “I have a secret. Do you want to know what it is?”

Matthew pulled back a little so he could see her face, and with a creased brow, he nodded his head and said, “Yeah?”

Biting her bottom lip, she slid her hands up and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing her mouth so close to his that they brushed noses.

“You know that ‘really important thing’ I wanted to talk to you about?”

“Uh huh,” he said with a shaky breath.

She pulled back and looked him dead in the eyes, and smiled, but it had changed into something cold. 

“I was going to tell you to cancel your date. That I wanted us to be together. I wanted to be your girl again. Not only that… I had made it all morning without a drink. You’d made me so happy it never even occurred to me to take a drink. I had decided to stop… for you… for us, and I had made it all day. All day, Matthew. You had given me a reason to quit,” she laughed, bitterly, and continued, “You know, riding up that elevator, I was so excited to tell you. To steal kisses from your lips and finally give you what you wanted. Or, at least, what I thought you wanted. What you said you wanted. But it was all lies….” With that, her hands slid back down to his chest, and she roughly shoved off of him and stumbled back to the bar where she slid up to Rick and sipped on the drink, he put in front of her. 

Matthew couldn’t breathe. He was frozen to the spot. His chest hurt and his eyes burned. He could feel the bile crawling up his throat. Suddenly, everything around him was going a mile a minute, and he rushed to the bathroom and vomited, barely making it to the toilet. Once it had passed, he walked to the mirror and splashed water onto his face. Leaning on the counter, Matthew hung his head and in a sudden burst of anger at the top of his lungs, he yelled, “FUCK!!!”

Walking backwards, his back hit the wall and he slid down to the floor where he sat and started to cry. He didn’t care; he was sitting on the dirty floor of a bar bathroom. He didn’t give a fuck if anyone saw him. He just didn’t care. 

He didn’t know how long he was in there crying, when somebody did finally enter the bathroom. Looking up, he released a shuddered breath and wiped at his face, and in a croaky voice said, “Just leave me alone, Benny. You should be happy to know that you don’t have to worry about… about me and your sister.” When finished, he covered his face with his hands again and started to sob. 

Through the tears and the sobs, Matthew explained, “She thinks that I lied… but I didn’t. I left her messages that she says she didn’t get. I don’t understand… I never wanted to hurt her… I love her.”

There was something about seeing Matthew sitting on a bar bathroom floor, sobbing like a child, that made Benny start to feel guilty that he had deleted the messages. That, maybe by doing so, he made this whole thing worse.

“I’m really, really sorry man. I might have fucked up. I-I’ll try to go fix it. Fuck, I’m sorry man,” Benny said, before rushing out of the restroom, leaving behind a really confused Matthew. 

Getting off the floor, Matthew washed his hands and then rinsed off his face before patting it dry. He just wanted to go home. 

Benny went to the bar where he saw his sister last, not seeing her, he asked one of the bartenders where she took off to.

“I just saw her and Rick head outside.” 

“Okay, thanks,” he said, patting the top of the bar before he slipped out, and looked around. He caught sight of a car that started to rock back and forth. Hoping not to see too much, Benny walked over to the car, and without looking towards the window, he started to bang on the backseat glass. 

As Matthew left the restroom, he saw Benny practically jog out the front door. That kid got weird. By the time he made it out of the bar, Matthew’s eyes had locked on the sight of Benny banging on a car window and trying to get someone to come out. He had a pretty good idea who, too.

Y/n and Rick hadn’t been that far in, when her little brother, of all people, was standing directly outside and proceeded to pound on the window. Pushing Rick off, he let out a frustrated sigh. Y/n fixed her dress before opening the door. As she opened it, her brother reached in and ripped her out of the car, slamming the door shut behind her. 

“What the fuck, Benny? I told you I made up my mind. That I was goin-“

Benny covered her mouth with his hand and said, “SHUT UP! Just listen to me! I fucked up! I deleted the messages. It was me. Matthew didn’t lie. I just found him on the bathroom floor, completely broken. I don’t know what you said to him, but it completely destroyed him.”

Pulling his hand away, she gave him a hurtful look and quietly asked, “You did what?”

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I- I thought I was helping. I didn’t realize-,”

Sensing someone watching, Y/n turned her head and locked eyes with Matthew, causing the color to drain from her face. Of course, Rick would choose that moment to exit the car. Turning to look at him, and then back at Matthew, Y/n swallowed and self-consciously tugged at the bottom of her skirt. 

Then, as if in slow motion, she watched as Matthew’s eyes slid from her to Rick, who started to laugh. The hurt look on Matthew’s face quickly morphed to one of anger, his eyes locking on hers, pinning her on the spot. She froze. She never thought she would ever see Matthew look at her with so much contempt. 

He couldn’t believe her. It felt like she had just ripped his heart out. He watched in silence, as Benny quickly tried to explain something to her, and the look of horror crossed her face. As she turned to look at him, she looked like she might be sick. It was when the car’s other back door opened, that all the pain and sadness of the last 48 hours shifted into something else. As he saw Rick, the man started laughing and making a show of re-buckling his pants. How fucking dare she? Was it not enough to rip his heart out and stomp all over it, but she had to go and fuck Rick, too? She was practically rubbing his face in it. He never thought he would ever hate Y/n, but in that moment, he had no other way to describe how he felt.

Somehow, she was able to get her feet to work, and as she slowly moved in Matthew’s direction, he started to shake his head at her, walking towards his car, instead. Picking up her speed, she caught up to him and pleadingly begged, “Matthew, I’m sorry. He erased them. I thought you didn’t even try calling. I didn’t know. I’m sorry… please Matthew!”

As soon as she started to move in his direction, he knew he had to get out of there. He couldn’t look at her. He was so completely over all of it. Over her. She had finally cured him of his ridiculous infatuation of her. To think, he thought she actually loved him once. When she started to plead with him, he looked at her with disgust, and moved to quickly get in his car. 

Y/n’s heart shattered a little more when he looked at her like she was something filthy on the side of the road. Trying her best to get him to listen, she reached out and grabbed his arm and started to beg him again, but the moment their skin touched, Matthew yanked away from her so hard, she stumbled back and landed on her ass.

As he watched her fall to the ground, he laughed a little. Served her right. Turning from her, he started to make the rest of the way to his car, only for her to pathetically crawl after him crying and beg him to forgive her. As he finally got to his car, Rick had come up behind Y/n, and tried to pick her up, only for her to start screaming and hitting him, causing him to throw his hands up and back away. 

As soon as her ass hit the ground, she saw the corners of his mouth raise as he let out a huff; she became desperate. She wasn’t above begging him. She knew for Matthew to act like this, he must really be done with her. When she tried to get up, her coordination was off due to all the alcohol, so she fell right back down. She began to crawl after him as tears streamed down her face and she pleaded, “Matthew… please! I’m sorry… I’m sorry! Please stop! Matth-.” Someone came up behind her and tried to lift her from off the ground, but when she heard Rick’s voice tell her to forget about him, and she was better off without him, she started to screech and hit and claw at him to let her go. When he finally dropped her and backed away, she whipped around and screamed, “Don’t fucking touch me! Either of you!” 

Part of him started to waiver at that point. Seeing her so broken, he could feel himself about to cave, but he wasn’t ready to let go of his anger. So, he turned his back to her and pulled open his car door.

With a choked sob, Y/n quietly begged, “ Please… I’m sorry…. I love you… please Matthew.”

Her last plea made him pause, looking over his shoulder, he said, “ You sure have a funny way of showing it.” With that, he got in his car and pulled away from the bar, and it took everything he had not to look back at her.

As he drove down the road, he figured it was only fair, so he pulled out his phone and called Vivian. It only took her two rings to answer.

“Hey Vi, so I was thinking. We kinda got interrupted last night. I was wondering if you would like a do-over date and maybe finish what we started?”

“I would love to! Did you want me to head over now?”

“Umm…, give me like 20 minutes before you head my way. I’m not home, and I have to make a quick stop.”

“Okay, bye. I’ll see you soon.”

Matthew disconnected the call and drove to the nearest drug store. He was going to need a couple of things for the evening.

******

It had been a good ten minutes after Matthew had left, that Y/n was able to pull herself together long enough and pick herself up off the ground. Benny had tried to help calm her down, but she kept yelling at him to get away from her. He figured it would be best to give her some space. Once she calmed down, then they would talk.

After getting up, Y/n slowly made her way back into the bar and collected her things. As she was about to leave, Rick came out from behind, and tried to approach her, but she stopped him.

“No. I won’t be back here. What I did tonight crossed a line. We won’t be seeing each other again.”

Rick was quiet for a moment, and then said, “Yeah, okay. Next time you two get in a fight, or the next minor inconvenience you run into, you’ll be here.”

“No… I won’t,” she said, turning and walking out of the bar. Quietly, with her head down, she walked past Benny and to his truck, where she stood patiently for him to unlock it for her. The ride back to the hotel was tense and very silent. Benny didn’t know how to approach the subject.

“Why would you do that?” Clearly, Y/n didn’t have the same problem.

Benny sighed and said, “He hurt you… I thought I was helping. I- I was also kinda mad at him, too. I had good intentions. I wasn’t trying to deceive you.”

“Hmmm…” Y/n continued to look out the window. She took in a shuttered breath and snuffled. It was like her body was having aftershocks from all the crying. She just needed a shower. A very hot shower. She felt filthy, and needed to scrub herself. Wash away her shame. 

“What did he say?” she asked so quietly, Benny didn’t hear her.

“What?”

At first, Y/n didn’t say anything, then slowly she turned her head from the window and looked right at him and said, “What did he say? In his messages, what did he say?”

Benny shifted in the driver's seat, and relayed what he could remember, “Umm… the first one, he was pretty much begging you to talk. He wanted to explain. He tried to tell you why he moved the date up. Something to do with Rick picking you up from work. That it made him mad, so he moved it up. That after the other morning, he was going to cancel, but he felt it would be mean to the girl, and you told him he still needed to move on, so he didn’t.

The second one was him apologizing a lot, and saying that he thought it was you. That he had been high and thought of you the whole night. That he got confused. 

“The last one… he begged you to talk to him… that he loved you and that promised you were the only thing he was thinking about. Then he told you to be safe and not to drink too much.”

Y/n just nodded her head and stared at her hands in her lap.

“Did he sound sincere?”

“Y/n, I don’t know… I guess. Mostly he was crying.”

Y/n was silent the rest of the way to the hotel. Once they got there and pulled into the parking lot, Benny turn off the truck and they both just sat there. 

“I’m sorry. I really was trying to help.”

“Well… you didn’t. I would have never called Rick if I had heard them. I would have called Matthew instead.” She then opened the truck door and started walking to the elevator. When they got back to the room Y/n didn’t say anything. She just went to her room, shut the door and locked it behind her. Leaning her back against the door she squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. 

Walking to the bed, she tossed her bag into it and plopped down onto the mattress to remove her boots. Before she got up and headed to the bathroom, she dug in her purse and pulled out her phone. Matthew had said he left four messages and Benny had mentioned three. She was surprise to find it off again, but figured it must have died, and plugged it in before heading to the restroom. 

Switching on the light, she froze when she got a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She looked rough. Her neck was covered in hickies and her makeup had run all over her face. Her hair was in disarray and her eyes where red, puffy and bloodshot. She was disgusted with the sight of herself. 

Turning her back to the mirror, Y/n turned on the hot water and began to undress. Her knees where scraped and covered in dry blood and she had finger shaped bruises on her legs, along with a bite mark just inside her thigh. See it made her stomach churn and causing her empty the contents of her stomach in the toilet. 

By time the dry heaving had ended, she was crying again. No matter how hard she scrubbed herself, she would still have evidence of her betrayal staining her body. She remembered the ones on her hips, left by Matthew. They were now starting to fade into a faint yellow hue. Soon, they would completely fade away taking the only lasting evidence of Matthew on her body. The thought broke her heart, because she was certain that he would never touch her again.

Taking a shaky breath, she stepped into the shower, and hissed as the scalding hot water hit her body. Wetting her loofah, she dumped on a larger amount of soap and started to roughly scrub her skin, starting with all the places she allowed Rick to touch her. By time she was done, over an hour had passed. The once burning water was now cold and frigid, and her skin red and raw. Some patches of skin even had abrasions from the intensity in which she washed herself.

Finally, she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower shivering, chilled to the bone. Wrapping herself in the complementary robe she brushed her teeth and turned off the light and headed back to her bed.

Pushing her bag to the floor, she crawled under the blankets and grabbed her phone from the night stand. She did in fact have 3 missed calls from Matthew and one remaining message, all from today. Taking a deep breath, she hit play and brought the phone to her ear. 

It was from this morning. He must have waited for her to show up at work and when she didn’t, he had gotten annoyed. She could hear it in his voice. She could also hear worry, especially at the end when he stated so. She listened to the message at least twenty times, just to hear his voice. Every time she hit play it was like another little chunk of her heart was ripped away.

She then started to flip through her photos which were full of smiling images of Matthew. Many of them him being a massive dork. Others, he is looking at her in a way that only he ever had, it was the look that told her how much me loved her. He didn’t even need a single word. You could see it in his beautifully expressive, hazel eyes.

This was how she spent her night. She didn’t want to close her eyes. She was worried all she would see was way he looked at her, after Rick got out of the car or when she had fallen to the ground. She never wanted to see him look at her like that again.

******

Matthew quickly walked into the apartment and headed to his room. He tossed his shopping bag onto the bed and quickly changed his clothes, so he wouldn’t smell like the bar. Turning to his dresser his eyes landed on the picture of him and Y/n. Closing his eyes, he pushed away the urge to check on her, as well as, the images of her in his head. Quickly he grabbed both pictures and shoved them to the bottom of his sock draw.

Moving on, he turn back to his bed and pulled out the box of condoms and tossed them into his bedside table and tossed the bag in the trash. Looking at his watch, he realized that Vivian could be there at any moment. 

Rushing to the bathroom, Matthew brushed his teeth and hair. As he was reapplying his cologne and deodorant, there was a knock on the door. Quickly, he turned off the bathroom light and answered the door. Vivian smiled at him and held up a pizza and a six pack of beer. Smiling back at her he took the pizza from her hand and stepped aside so that she could enter the apartment. 

Walking to the kitchen he placed the pizza on the counter and took the case of beer and placed it in the fridge, removing one for each of them before closing the fridge door. Popping off the caps, he handed one to her and she giggled as she took it, causing him to smile at her. Walking over to the cabinet he took out two plates and handed one to her, as she opened the box. They each took two slices and returned to the living room and sat on the couch.

“Did you want to watch something,” he asked, before taking a bite from his pizza. 

“Hmmm, only if you want to,” she said smiling, “I’m cool with just talking.”

He gave her a big smile and nodded his head, “I’m good with that. How was your day?”

“Oh, busy. Filmed a really emotional scene today. I feel like I’ve been crying all day, you know?”

Laughing nervously, he nodded his head and cleared his throat. He definitely knew how it felt to be crying all day. But now was the time to turn it around. Setting his pizza to the side, he took a long pull from his beer and said, “Hey, V? Would I be out of place if I said I really want to make out with you right now?”

Blushing, she looked down and said, “I was kinda hoping for something like that.”

Smiling, Matthew took her plate and put it on the coffee table, then pulled her into his lap so she was straddling him, just like the night before. He cupped the back of her head, pulling her lips his and slowly begin to kiss her. 

It didn’t take long, before things began to pick up, but as they did, so did the growing feeling of guilt. Aj’s words started to reply in his head. When calling Vivian, Matthew knew that the only reason he was, was because he was mad at Y/n for sleeping with Rick. Now he felt guilty because even though she didn’t know it, he was using her. With that thought he pulled away from Vivian, leaving her somewhat confused.

“What’s wrong?”

“I… um… I think I need to tell you something before we do this…”

“Ok… what do need to tell me,” she asked, looking at him nervously?

Matthew was quite for a moment and didn’t know how to tell her that he and Y/n had actually been involved. She was sweet and if things were different, he could really seriously be into her.

“Matthew?”

“See the thing is… yesterday…,” he paused, trying to push down his anxiety. She was looking at him expectantly and he lost his nerve and gave her a half truth, “The thing is, Y/n and I did use to date when we were younger. We were best friends before though. We’re better as friends then a couple, but I think that Y/n never stop having feelings for me. That’s what yesterday was about. She was fine when she first moved in. We were just best friends. It didn’t seem like she was harboring any old romantic feelings, but after you and I started talking she changed. She started getting really weird and I think that’s when her drinking started to get bad. She wouldn’t tell me what was up, but… but when we scheduled a date, she kinda opened up to me. I… I told her that wasn’t what I wanted and asked if she would be able to handle it if we dated. She was upset, but said she understood. That she was happy for me to move on. But then yesterday… yeah. I just felt like I needed to tell you… so you would know what was going on. So, you could decide if dealing with that was still worth it. Some things went down today and I don’t really want to get into it, but I’m not even sure she is still going to be living here.”

Vivian smiled at him and ran her hands through his hair and kissed him lightly on his lips, then said, “Thank you for being honest with me. I know it isn’t always easy. I’m still really invested in this if it something you want. I really like you, Matthew.”

He let out as airy laugh and smiled nervously at her, looking down. Maybe this is what he needed. This was us opportunity to finally move on from the toxic relationship that had developed between him and Y/n. His anxiety somewhat relieved and feeling like this was more than petty payback, Matthew pulled Vivian back in for a passionate kiss. 

It felt great, and quickly built back up to the same level of intensity as before, but now there was little voice in that back of his head that keep telling him he was betraying Y/n. That even if he didn’t want to, he still loved her and he would never love Vivian in the same way. He started to unintentionally compare them, so in an attempt to push Y/n of his mind he started to chat Vivian’s name in his head. Which, thankfully seemed to work. 

Vivian pulled back and pushed the straps of her sundress off her shoulders, lowering the top half of her dress. Matthew eyes grew large ay the sight of her bare chest and he swallowed. Vivian smile at him and started to unbutton his shirt. When she had it completely undone, Matthew leaned forward and she pushed his shirt down his shoulders. Matthew ran his hand up and along her spin and to the back of her head and pulled back down into a kiss. As they made out their hand explored each other’s body and Vivian stated to grind her hips against him. Pulling away, she said, “Do you want to take this to your room?”

Nodding his head, Matthew quietly agreed, “Yeah… yeah, I do.”

Sliding off his lap, Vivian took his hand and lead Matthew to his room and he shut the door behind them.

******

Y/n was exhausted, but couldn’t sleep. Deciding that there was no point to stay in bed, she got up and wandered out into the living room with her blanket, turning on the tv, she lowered the volume. She could feel her body starting to call for alcohol, but as the shakes and cold sweats began, she silently vowed never again. If it hadn’t been for her decision to drink, last night won’t have ended the way it did. She gotten upset and was stupid and weak. 

She knew she had to go into work today, because along with her missed calls from Matthew, she also some understandably angry and worried messages from Kathryn. It was time to come clean with her. Her plan was to go in today and resign. It wasn’t just that she felt she had let Kathryn down by lying to her and pushing her away for months, but also she did not believe she would be able to work with Matthew every day after what happened the night before. She still wasn’t even sure what she would do about her living arrangements. If she couldn’t work with Matthew, she certainly wouldn’t be able to live with him.

Wrapping herself tighter within her blanket, she laid down and blindly focus on the tv. She didn’t know how long she had been staring into space, drowning in her thoughts, when she heard Benny’s door open. 

“Y/n?”

Sighing, she used what little energy she had to sit up. “Yeah?”

“You ok? Why are you out here and not in bed,” he asked, groggily?

“Can’t sleep.”

Walking over to the couch, Benny sat down and asked, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Y/n was quite for a long time and then said, “I think I need you to go home. I know you thought you were helping, but what you did wasn’t right. You don’t get to decide for me whether or not Matthew was being sincere. I’d like to think I know him a little better than you. You had no right and because of what you did… I- I will probably never be able to fix the damage I’ve done.”

“Y/n, you can’t blame all of this on me! I didn’t ma-.”

“I’m not! The choices I made are all on me, but if I had known he called. If I had heard his messages, there is a chance that I could have made better choices. But you… you took that option away from me, because you thought you knew what was best for me. So… I think I need you to go home. Because as much as it hurts me to say it… I can’t forgive you for this. At least, not right now.”

“Ok so I go home, then what? You think after last night, you’re going to be able to walk right back into that apartment like nothing happened? Where are you going to go? How are you going to get to work? Do you still even have a job? I’m sure if he is mad enough, he could have you removed from the crew. So, what are you going to do? Who is going to have your back and take care of you when you’re so drunk you don’t even know what part of town, you’re in?”

Standing on shaky legs, Y/n said, “First of all, Matthew wouldn’t do that, no matter how mad at me he is. He isn’t that kind of guy. Second, it wouldn’t matter, even if he did, because I’m going in today and resigning. I can’t work with him every day. As for where I’ll live, I haven’t figured it out yet. I have enough money stored away that I can stay at a motel until I find something. Lastly, I’m done drinking. After last night… and for you to throw that in my face isn’t fair. That was four years ago. I don’t need you to take care of me. You or anyone else.”

With that, she turned and slowly made her way to her room to pack up her things and return back to the apartment. As scared as she was to go back, she had to. All her things where there. She would just quietly slip in and go to her room, lock the door and not leave until Matthew left for work. She planned on calling an Uber to the studio, because she just could imagine having to ride in the car with Matthew. Looking over at the bedside table the alarm clock read 25 minutes to five. If she was going to get there before he woke up, she would have to get there soon. Slipping on her shoes, she double checked her room to make sure she got everything and then tapped on Benny’s door.

When Benny opened the door, Y/n gave him a sheepish smiled and asked, “Could I get a ride home?”  
He just stared at her in disbelief before rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

“Let’s go,” he said, grabbing his keys and heading for the door.

*****

Laying quietly next to Vivian’s sleeping form, Matthew spent most of the night staring at the ceiling above his bed. He was exhausted, but he couldn’t sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he would see Y/n, crawled and crying across dirty pavement, begging for his forgiveness. The guilt he felt was deafening. 

His time with Vivian was… alright, but once it was over and she had fallen asleep, he was left with his thoughts. The longer he drowned in them, the worse he felt. He felt guilty for leaving Y/n like that, for calling Vivian and not being 100% truthful, and most of all… sleeping with her. Not only does he feel like he used her, but he feels like he betrayed Y/n. Even if she had slept with Rick. She was hurt, angry and unbelievably drunk. He was just jealous and he knew damn well what he was doing. He was getting pay back and now, he hated himself for it. He just made a bad situation worse.

On top of everything else, he was also feeling a little self-conscious. His time with Vivian was nice, but definitely became awkward once they got to the bedroom. It had come so naturally with Y/n, which wasn’t the case with V. The things he would normally do with Y/n, Vivian didn’t, seem to enjoy and would try to redirect him, leaving him awkward and unsure. When he would try to spice t up and change positions, she wouldn’t want to. She was clearly more of a missionary or ride girl, which is fine. But he found their time together lacking in the passion and playfulness he’d shared with Y/n. He thinks he may have even startled with his roughness, for a moment. She was definitely more into slow and gentle, which is nice, but that’s what made him feel like he was betraying Y/n. It felt too much like making love and he didn’t love Vivian. He loved Y/n. All he could think about, was how he would rather have Y/n beneath him. Which just brought on more guilt. He hated that he found himself closing his eyes and trying to imagine Y/n. In the end he is pretty sure he wasn’t able to satisfy Vivian and while she seemed understanding and ok with it, he felt kinda bad. He had even tried to offer to go down on her, but she seemed really turn off by it and said she didn’t really enjoy that. He found that to be disappointing, being that it was something he actually really enjoyed doing. 

At that point, she had cuddled up to him, kissed him goodnight and went to sleep. And so, began his night of internal guilty thoughts. Part of him wished she hadn’t had stayed the night. Turning to look at the time, he sighed and crawled out of bed. He may as well start getting ready for work. As he collected what he would need for his shower, Vivian woke up and told him good morning.

“Sorry, that I woke you,” he apologized, “I have to start getting ready for work.” He had hoped she would take the hint and go. He didn’t want to come right out and ask. 

She smiled at him and said, “No worries, I have to get up and get back home to shower and change before work, as well. I’m probably going to be late, but I’m not worried about it. Unless… I shower here with you?”

Matthew swallowed and laughed nervously, before turning to busy himself with picking out socks for the day. “Umm… I think that would just make us both late and while it sounds fun, I have a really busy day and can’t afford to be late,” he said turning and giving her an apologetic smile.

She just smiled, and waved it away with her hand, “No biggy. I’m sure you’re right. Plus, there is always next time.”

“Yeah… um, sorry again about last night.”

Vivian gave him a confused look and asked, “Sorry for what?”

“You know… I didn’t… um… you didn’t,” he blushed and sighed.

Shocked, she slipped from the bed and walked over to Matthew and said, “Oh, no… no, just listen, it was our first time together and we are still trying to learn what each other like. It never happens for me the first time I’m with someone new. I’m sorry if you felt you let me down, because you didn’t. I had fun and it felt amazing. I will admit, that there may have been a moment where I was… surprised.”

Drawing his brows together, Matthew asked, “Surprised?”

“Well, I was ju- I just didn’t peg you for the rough and tumble kinda guy. You’re quiet and a little shy, so I figured you’d be different. I don’t mean any of this in a bad way. Once we get more in tuned with each other, maybe we can work up to it.”

“It’s just that, I’ve only been with one other person and that just the way it was with us. She never complained, so I didn’t realize… it would be surprising.”

Matthew just flattened his lips together and pulled them back in an awkward smile. Vivian giggles and raised up on her toes to give him a kiss. Giving her a quick peck, Matthew pulled away and said, “I’m gunna go ahead and get in the shower. I’ll call you later?”

“Sure! I’d like that! I’ll get dressed and let myself out. Have a good day at work.”

Smiling at her sincerely, Matthew said, “You too,” and then slipped out of the room. 

Vivian located her panties and after slipping them on, she took a moment to look around Matthew’s room. She wasn’t snooping, just some hands-free exploring. She looked at all his childhood pictures framed around his room and the drawings scattered about the room. She did notice that there seemed to be two separate drawing styles in most of the art. She recognized his from the texts he’d sent to her, share his artwork. 

As she walked by his dresser, she noticed he had left it partly open. She was about to close it when she saw a framed picture peeking out from the bottom of the draw. Looking over at the bedroom door, Vivian slowly pulled the draw further open and pulled out the picture hidden inside. 

Actually, it was two pictures. Both framed, one small than the other. She now knew who the other drawings in the room belonged to… Y/n. Quietly, she read the faded noted that was scribble in the corner of the drawing. It was a very dramatic note for a teenager, but for some reason it made her feel uneasy. 

Switching to the smaller frame, she froze. It was a picture of a much younger Matthew and Y/n. It must have been Halloween because they were dressed as the parents from the Addams Family. 

Once again, she was stunned by the beauty of the other woman. Even as a teenager she was stunning. Her costume was definitely a little over the top though. Her parents would have never let her leave the house in something so low cut.  
Once again, she was stunned by the beauty of the other woman. Even as a teenager she was stunning. Her costume was definitely a little over the top though. Her parents would have never let her leave the house in something so low cut. 

What originally made her freeze, was the way they smiled and looked at one another. She had never had a boy or man look at her in the way Matthew was Y/n. Like she was his everything. She was pulled from her thoughts as she heard a knock on the front door. Quickly she rearranged the frames back the way she found them and placed socks back over them and shut the drawer.

Spinning around his room, she realized her dress had fallen onto the living room floor when she stood from Matthew’s lap last night. Vivian grabbed a folded t-shirt off the top of a laundry basket and giggled as it slipped over her head. Leave it to Matthew, to have a Casper t-shirt. Shaking her head with an amused smile, she unlocked the front door and pulled it open.

*****

Once in the bathroom, he peed and turned on the shower. While waiting for the water to warm up he walked over to the sink and started to brush his teeth. Right when he bent to spit, he heard knocking coming from what sounded like the front door. Quickly, rinsing and wiping his mouth, he grabbed his kimono and opened the bathroom door. Only to be greeted with the worst possible scenario.

******

As Y/n rode up the elevator, she frantically dug through her bag for her keys, when she had the sudden memory of placing her keys on her desk before tearing up her picture and grabbing the bookend to smash the truck lock. Sighing, she considered walking to a coffee shop until she knew Matthew would be gone, but her withdrawals where starting to get worst and she didn’t know if she would honestly be able to do it.

So, she was going to have to suck it up and face the music. She didn’t need to really say anything. She would just keep her eyes down, skirt past him and go to her room and lock the door. 

When the elevator doors opened, she was hit by a momentary panic. She stood inside the elevator’s cabin for so long, that the doors started to shut. Quickly, she shot out her arm, blocking the doors and walked out of the elevator. Swallowing, she slowly walked to the apartment door and taking a deep breath, she knocked. When she didn’t get an answer, she assumed he was still asleep, so after a couple of minutes she knocked again, this time hearing the locks being unlatch on the door.

Casting her eyes to the ground, she waited or Matthew to open the door, but when it swung open, her downward line of sight caught a pair of small, perfectly pedicured feet. Pulling her brows together in confusion she quickly looked up, freezing on the shirt she, herself was wearing the morning before last. Her eyes lingered on the shirt for a moment, before moving up and was greeted with Vivian’s overly friendly face. Y/n stood there silently, just staring back at Vivian. She wanted to lose her shit, she really did, but she had no right. Also, she felt so sick at this point, she didn’t even have the energy. Y/n didn’t know if she should just turn around and leave or just painfully sulk back to her room.

Vivian couldn’t help, but notice that Y/n color was off and she was shivering, while sweating profusely.  
“Hey,” she greeted nicely and then sincerely asked, “Are you ok?”

Y/n watched as Vivian’s face melted into concern. It was so annoying that she was nice. Y/n was about to push past her, without a word, when the sound of the opening bathroom door cause both women to turn their heads in its direction.

Matthew stood glued to the spot, looking back and forth between the two women. He had a sickening feeling, beginning to churn in his stomach. He was waited for Y/n to come unglued, but after a moment her eyes just, fell back to the ground, and she slipped through the door and passed Vivian. She was about to disappear into her room when he said, “If you’re going to want a ride to work, you need to hurry so we aren’t late.”

Y/n, paused, supporting herself with the door frame of her bedroom. She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly changed her mind and slipped into her room, shutting the door behind her.

Vivian watched, as Matthew stared at Y/n’s door, with drawn eyebrows, worrying his bottom lip. She could tell he was fighting the desire to go after her. She had to wondered if he noticed how ill Y/n looked or if he was thinking about whatever happened the night before.

“She didn’t look so good,” she said, trying to break the silence in the room.

Shaking his head, he said, “She was really drunk yesterday, probably just a hangover. Ok well, I should finish my shower. I’ll talk to you later,” he said, finally letting his eye settle on Vivian. He startled when he saw what she was wearing, causing his eyes to slightly widen.

Noticing his reaction, Vivian blushed, and stammered, “I- I know I’m sorry, my dress was out here and I- I thought you were in the shower all ready, so I grabbed the first thing I saw.”

“No… no it’s ok. I just wasn’t expecting to see it on you,” he reassured her politely. Inside though, he wanted her to take off his fucking shirt, and go before things got even worse than they were. He watched as she collected her cloths and smiled at him before disappearing back into his bedroom. 

Before turning back to the bathroom, Matthew let his eyes settle on Y/n’s door. Every fiber of him wanted to go to her room and talk to her. He wanted to apologize for the night before, for Vivian and the stupid t-shirt. But she probably didn’t want to hear it and wouldn’t want him near her now. Sighing he returned to the bathroom and shut the door.

******

As soon as she shut her bedroom door, she leaned her shaky body against the wood. Maybe she should just call Kathryn. No, she had to do this face to face. Kathryn has always been good to her, she deserved more than a phone call.

As, Y/n tried to steady her heart beat and the intense trembling of her body, she could hear the inaudible drone of Matthew and Vivian’s voices. She was feeling so horrible at this point, she didn’t have time to fully feel or process the fact that Matthew had clearly tried to get back at her by fucking Vivian. Which she really had no right to get upset about. It was fair, but Y/n was sure once her body was done trying to killer, she would probably have a different take on it.

Steading herself, she moved to her closet and pulled out some fresh cloths. Looking down she saw the open trunk with the box of vodka. It would be so easy to make it all stop. The nausea, the shaking, the all over pain. It felt like her body was on fire.

Quickly, she slammed both the trunk and her closet closed. Moving over to the bed, she heavily dropped onto it and laid down to gather some energy to get dress. While lying there, she realized that something was sticking to her thigh. Rolling onto her back she reached down and pulled a strip of paper from her leg. When she realized what she was holding in her hand, her chin began to tremble. It must’ve taken him forever to reconstruct the photo. He must have fixed it before he found her at the bar. She was sure he wouldn’t be so down to fix it now. Sadly, she placed it on her night stand and sat up to undress and get ready for her day.

She didn’t really want to ride to the studio with Matthew. The thought of being closed in the small space of a car with him was just too painful to comprehend. So, she pulled out her phone and arranged for an Uber.

Standing, she grabbed her bag, her hoodie and her travel water bottle and made for the kitchen, but as she got to her door she stopped and turn her head slightly, giving her closet a sideway glance. Maybe just a little will help her make it through the day and settle her withdrawals. Just as she was about to turn toward her closet, she heard Matthew call out her name. Snapping her eyes shut, her face started to crumble as fought the urge to cry. Why was it so hard now? The other day she was fine, but now it was like the universe was punishing her for thinking she could better herself and be happy. As she was struggling to keep herself together, she heard Matthew call her name again, this time closer to her room and sounding a little more annoyed. Pulling in a large breath from her nose, she held it and then slowly blow out through her lips. Wiping at her face, she swallowed hard and then opened her door. Without much of a glance, Y/n walked past Matthew and slowly made her way to the kitchen, using what she could for support along the way. She guessed Vivian had already left.

Matthew was getting annoyed that she hadn’t said a single word to him or much less look at him. Just now, she passed him without so much as a sideway glance. He gets that she was probably upset with him, but he wasn’t expecting silence. He was prepared for yelling and a fight. Something to show she still fucking cared… even just a little. As his annoyance built, he noticed how she was leaning on the chairs, tables and walls as she made her way to the kitchen. Without even thinking he said, “You’re still drunk? You’re fucking kidding me. After everything that happened last night, one would think that you would try to sober up?”

Y/n paused at the archway to the kitchen and leaned against it. “Matthew… I am sober. Can you just go to work and leave me be? I just can’t do this right now… please,” she tiredly pleaded, with him. She couldn’t fight right now. She barely felt like she could breath. 

“So… what, you’re not going to work again? How are you going to pay your half of the rent? If you think you’re going to live here and pay nothing you’re wrong,” he snapped. He knew he should calm down, but part of him needed the fight. He needed it, because without it, how would they get to the part where they made up? Without a fight everything felt way too final. Like this was the end and that they would never get passed it. So, he tried to push her buttons. Make her angry. But I didn’t work. 

He watched as she sighed and pushed off the archway and made her way to the fridge. Pulling, it open she stilled and he saw her eyes focus on something before snatching a couple of bottle of water and quickly shutting the door as though she was scared of something inside. As she filled her bottle, her phone chimed and she pulled it out and saw that her Uber was down stairs. Screwing the lid back on her bottle, she slowly, made her way to the front door. 

Realizing she was about to leave; Matthew quickly walked to the door and pushed it closed as she started to pull it open and leaned on it with his large hand in the center of the wood. “If you’re not going to work, then where are you going? For fuck sakes, talk to me! What is wrong with you? You should be yelling and screaming at me! You don’t even seem to give a shit!” Reaching out he grabbed her upper arm, trying to turn her toward him, but he quickly snatched back his hand when she cried out in pain. 

His anger melted, and for the first time, he really looked at her. Her skin was unusually pale and looked clammy, while her whole body seem to shake. Reaching out again, this time he touched her forehead. She was burning up. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

Sighing, she said, “Don’t worry about it. My ride is down stairs. I have to talk to Kathryn.”

“Y/n, you can’t go anywhere like this. You look like you could drop at any second. Why can’t you just call Kathryn. You can’t tell her you have the flue and then maybe she will overlook yesterday too. But you can’t go to work like this. You need to lay down.”

Shaking her head, Y/n said, “I’m not going to be there long. It will be fine. Anyways, you don’t get to decide for me.” With that, she opened the door and somehow made her way to her Uber.

******

When Matthew made it to the studio, he took care of his pre filming tasks, but he was on auto pilot the entire time. He couldn’t stop searching every room for Y/n. He felt like an ass and was really worried about her. 

He decided he was going to check the props department again. Earlier, when he went in there, it was just some guy he really didn’t know. Entering the room again, he saw the saw guy as before and he figured he would at least talk to him and see if he knew anything. 

“Hey, have you seen Kathryn or Y/n?”

“Oh, they left a long time ago. Right after Y/n got here. Something and bout cleaning house and packing. Not that I know what that means. Try calling her man.”

Nodding his head, he thanked the other guy and made his way to set. This was going to be a long day. He was worried she wouldn’t be there when he got back. He didn’t bother calling because he was pretty sure she wouldn’t answer. He just needed to make it through the day and then he can go home and hopefully talk to her.

*****

Y/n had texted Kathryn on the way to the studio. At this point, she wasn’t even sure she would have enough energy to make to the props department. All her joints and muscles hurt, she could barely keep her eyes open and she felt like she was freezing.

When the car pulled up to the studio Kathryn was waiting for her and she quickly payed the driver and helped Y/n out of car. 

Walking her friend and charge into the building, she found the first secluded area with a chair for Y/n to sit.

Kneeling in front of her, she checked Y/n pulse. Her heart rate was up, and she was breathing fast and shallow. Fever, cold sweats, and body tremors. All sure signs that she has been drinking heavy for a while now. 

“You silly girl, what have you done?”

Swallowing, Y/n let out a small chuckle and said, “Everything I wasn’t supposed to.”

“I knew you were drinking again. I wish you would have come to those meetings with me. How long since you last drink?”

Y/n wrinkled her brow in thought, “Um…. Five or six hours ago?”

“You are choosing to detox? Or are you just out of supply and means?”

“Choosing. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve….,” y/n looked away as the tears started to leak down her face, “I’ve ruined things so horribly with Matthew that I’m not even sure I have a home. I actually came here to- to quit, because I don’t think I can work with him either. So much went down yesterday and the day before, that I don’t think it can be fixed. I’m not even sure if I’m strong enough to stay sober.” As she finished, she buried her face in her hands as she cried. 

Kathryn ran her fingers through hair and tried to calm her. Kissing the top of her head and gently pulled down Y/n hands and said, “Look at me… come on… there she is. Look, how about I go talk to Doug and have him cover the department today. I’ll bring you home and get you comfortable. Have you cleaned out the apartment’s alcohol supply?”

Y/n shook her head no. 

“Ok I’ll help you clear it out. I want to talk to you about something. Something that can really help and maybe it’s what you need. How does that sound?”

Y/n nodded her head with wets eyes. Kathryn told her to sit tight while she talked to Doug. Sitting quietly, Y/n closed her eyes and rocked herself back and forth as a way to calm her building anxiety.

When Kathryn returned, she gently laid her hand on Y/n shoulder and told her she was going to pull up her car and would be right back. Five minutes later, Kathryn was helping her into her Ford Focus. The drive back to the apartment was quite at first.

“I don’t accept your resignation, by the way,” Kathryn said.

Y/n, huffed and said, “You really don’t have a choice. I just won’t show up. I’m not going to be able to see him every day knowing how bad I messed it up.”

“It honestly can’t be that bad. It’s not like you ran over his puppy or anything…. You didn’t, right?”

Despite how she was feeling, Y/n chuckled and shook her head no.

“Ok so what happened?”

Sighing, Y/n wasn’t sure she really wanted to go all into it, but Kathryn was taking time out of her day to help her out. 

“Well, it started when we were teenagers. We-.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other that long,” Kathryn asked, interrupting Y/n.

“Yup, since we were 14. Anyway, we were best friends and then we dated. We made a packed to be each other’s first. My family suddenly moved. I didn’t keep my side of packed, but he did. After running back into each other, we became best friends again and roommates. He started taking to a girl. I got jealous and starting acting like a bitch. Then we slept together…several times, but I told him to move on even though he didn’t want to. But he did and I walked in on them making out and got upset and jealous and I slept with someone else and he saw and so he went and slept with the other girl.”

“Well, that seems all very mature. Does he know about your drinking?”

“Now he does, he found out this week.”

Vivian pulled into the apartment parking lot and help Y/n out of the car and to the elevator. Once inside, Y/n wondered over to the couch and plopped done and closed her eyes. The nausea was starting to really get to her and she knew if she had actually eaten anything since Waffle House yesterday morning, she would probably be vomiting nonstop right now. 

“So where is all the alcohol?” 

Sighing, pointed to her room and said, “there is a trunk at the bottom of my closet with a box of vodka in it. Also, the night stand has a flask of bourbon. That’s all for that room. There is some beer in the fridge. It nearly jumped out at me this morning. It must be Matthew or Vivian’s.”

“Well, I don’t care who it belongs to, it’s gone,” Kathryn said, taking long strides to the kitchen. Y/n was always taken aback with how beautiful Kathryn looked. She looked like she should be a cast member and not on the crew. She was thin and tall with legs for days. She had a beautiful olive complexion and long wavy dark hard with the greenest eyes’ Y/n had ever seen. She was in her mid-30’s, but didn’t look much over twenty-five. It was hard for Y/n to believe that Kathryn was once a homeless, call girl with an expensive drug and alcohol habit. She’s been clean going on 13 years. She had never stumbled or fallen off the wagon. She had gotten pregnant and did what she had to do. Y/n was often left in awe of her. Like she was this unattainable example of peace.

She watched as Kathryn carried the beer to her bedroom and returned with the box of vodka.

“I hope there is no fondness to this flask because I’m tossing it. Having it is only going to tempt you to fill it.”

“No, it’s ok. Throw it. There is a trash shoot in the hall.”

“Oh no, I’m pouring it all down the drain first.”

Y/n chuffed and gave Kathryn a weak smile and said, “knock yourself out.”

“I will,” she said, walking to the kitchen sink, “so before you say anything, just hear me out. There is this place two towns over, they have this really effective 30-day program. I’m willing to cover the cost if you want to go and you take it seriously.” She stopped what she was doing and turned around to face Y/n. “The place is beautiful and peaceful. They have therapy there and life skill courses. It ran by people who have all been where we have. The owner is actually my personal sponsor. I’ll get a really great discount. There is a waiting list, but if I call Barbra now, I can probably get you in tomorrow. So… what do you think?”

Y/n didn’t know what to say. This was a huge opportunity that Kathryn was willing to hand to her. What if she spent all the money and she still wasn’t able to stay clean? 

“I can see the wheels turning. Don’t think about the money or whether or not you’re going to let me down. Think in the now. Is this something you want? Something you need?”

Y/n swallowed, and nodded her head and quietly said, “yes.”

“Ok, done,” turning back to the sink, Kathryn continued to empty the bottles of liquor done the drain, “let just finish this and I’ll give Barb a call and then we can start getting you packed up. Oh! No drugs in the house, right?”

“No.”

“Ok, good. This is going to be so good for you, sunshine!” Causing Y/n to smile at Kathryn’s silly nick name. 

******

Y/n was exhausted by time Kathryn left. They had packed two suitcases full of things she my need: Clothes, toiletries and some art supplies of course. Once they were done packing, Kathryn got her settled on the couch with blankets, a garbage can (just in case she got sick), water, and the tv controller. 

By this point, Y/n was feeling pretty bad. The Advil she had taken had worn off, but it was too soon to take more and the Tylenol wasn’t even touching it. Kathryn promised that the clinic would help ease the detox process once she got there. She would have to be there by 8 am or she would loss her spot. She was lucky Kathryn had a connection, because she had been able to skip a pretty lengthy waiting list.

Kathryn, unfortunately would not be able to make it in the morning, but Y/n reassured her, it was ok. She had done more than enough, and that she would get an Uber. They said their goodbyes and Kathryn promised to visit her and bring her anything she my need. That was about three hours ago, and she was starting to feel a bit sorry for herself. She just wanted a drink to settle down the way she was feeling. 

Shivering, she pulled another blanket on her and laid down and curled her body up. Slowly flipping through the channels, she paused when she heard the door being unlocked. Signing, Y/n considered pretending to be asleep. She just didn’t have the energy to deal with everything that happened the day before. She just couldn’t fight with him right now, even if felt like he needed to resolve things. Chances are that they would never be resolved, seeing that, as of tomorrow, she will be gone for the next 30 days. 

Not mention she is pretty sure that once she is done, she will not have a place to stay. Kathryn told her not to worry. That the facility had some really nice halfway houses for people who didn’t have somewhere to return to. So, she was going to just play it by ear.

Deciding it would probably be best if she just went to her room, Y/n slowly and painfully uncurled herself and sat up. As, she was trying to stand on her shaky, weak legs, the door opened and before he even saw her, Matthew called out her name. When he turned and saw her starting to sway as she stood up, Matthew quickly rushed over to her, and reached out to steady her while dropping the take out bag he was carrying on the coffee table.

“Hey… hey, where you going? You clearly don’t need to be standing up. Sit back down,” he said, guiding her back down to the couch.

“I’m fine. I was just gunna go to my room. Get out of your way.”

He scowled slightly at that, he squatted in front of her and said, “You’re not in my way. I left work early to check on you. I even stopped and got you soup.” Reaching up he felt her forehead and hissed pulling his hand back. “Lay down, I’ll be right back,” he said before heading into the bathroom. 

Y/n sat there for a moment hesitant to lay down, but when he came out of the bathroom he pointed at her and said, “You! Lay down.” He then slipped into the kitchen. 

Rolling her eyes, then quickly regretting it, Y/n laid down like Matthew requested. She wasn’t sure what he was up to, but she could hear him digging around in the cupboards and then running water. When he returned, he had a bowl, spoons and a thermometer. 

Once again, he squatted I front of her and held out the thermometer, “Open up,” he said, placing it under her tongue. As, she shut her mouth. Matthew reached into the bowl and retrieved a cold-water wash cloth and rang it out and then waited for the thermometer to beep. 

“You should have gone to the doctor,” he said, pushing some sweaty strands of hair off her clammy forehead. “You could have the flu.”

Y/n hummed, and tried to shake her head, but it the thermometer beeped and Matthew quickly pulled it from between her lips.

“Oh shit, 103! Have you taken anything? Why the fuck didn’t you go to the doctor,” he asked, wiping at her face with the cold wet wash rag. 

“Because there is nothing they can do at the moment. It just had to run its course.” 

Wetting the rag and ringing it out, he gave her a look of confusion, “what needs to run its course?”

Sighing, y/n tried to sit up, but struggled, so Matthew gently helped her and then sat next to her on the couch.

“Y/n, what going on. Why are you sick?”

“Withdrawals, Matthew. I’m having withdrawals.”

He was quiet while he processed what she was saying, but his eyes widened and he let out a little, “oh.”

“Yeah, so I’m fine. My body is just rebelling against me. I’ll be fine in a couple of days. So, there is no reason for you to be doing… all of this,” she said, gesturing to the coffee table.

He gave her an annoyed look, “What do you mean “all of this?” I’m trying to take care of you. I’ve been worried about you all day. I could barely get my lines right. I’m doing it because, despite all the bullshit, you’re still my best friend and I still love you! I’m going to always take care of you, when you need me to.”

Y/n looked away, not sure how to respond. She felt him shift closer to her and brush the hair off the back of her neck and replace it with the cool rag. 

“I shouldn’t have left you like that the last night. I’m so sorry Y/n.”

Y/n quickly turned her head to his words, but regretted it immediately, when a wave a nausea coursed through her. Squeezing her eyes shut, she swallowed hard. While trying to breathe through the urge to be sick, she felt Matthew’s large hand cup the side of her face. 

“Are you ok?” Y/n nodded her head, but kept her eyes closed. She caught herself pushing her face against his hand. 

Matthew was quiet for a moment, but then quietly continued, “I- I was wrong. I can’t even close my eyes without seeing you like that. It’s killing me, Y/n. This isn’t the kind of man I am.” As he finished, she could hear the tears in his voice and when she opened her eyes, she saw that he was in fact crying.

Pulling, away and trying to get up again, only to be pulled back down.

“Matthew, stop. You shouldn’t even be crying over me. What I did yesterday was so beyond disgusting. I hate myself for it. I purposefully tried…,” y/n stopped and sighed, “it’s why I’ve got to stop. Why I’m detoxing. I hurt all over and I feel like I’m dying, but I deserve it and I need to do it… So no, you don’t have to take care of me. I dug my bed and now I have to lay in it.”

Matthew giggled a little despite himself. Y/n look up at him with a hurt expression and he scrambled to apologize and explain. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. You said it wrong. It was cute. It’s “I made my bed now I have to lay in it” or “I dug my own grave and I have to lay in it.” You put them together.”

Y/n huffed and shook her head, just then her phone started to ring. Leaning forward, she checked the screen and hit decline. 

Matthew, noticed the roughness in which she declined the call and asked, “overly aggressive telemarketer?”

“No! Between, Benny and Rick I’m going to shove that thing down the garbage disposal. Neither, one will take a fucking hint!”

“Wait? Where is Benny and why are you mad at him?”

Sighing, y/n leaned back against the couch and rubbed her hand over her face. “He is the reason I didn’t see your messages. He deleted them. I was passed out when you called, I guess.”

“So, it wasn’t you hitting the F U button on me then?”

“No, but to be honest… at that point I probably still would have.”

“Fair enough.”

“…. but I would have gone back and listened to what you had to say, and I would have called you instead of Rick. None, of yesterday would have happened.”

“You say that with so much certainty.”

“Because I’m certain and Benny thought he knew what was good for me. He deleted your messages and took that option away from me. Even though I know he meant well… I can’t forgive it right now. So, I sent him home.”

She was suddenly hit with a cold chill that caused her to start shuttering. Matthew grabbed the blankets that had pooled on the floor earlier and gestured for Y/n to lean forward again and then wrapped her in the blankets. 

“What would help ease this? Have you- I mean, I know this is replacing one thing for another, but have you tried smoking something?”

“That’s what I did yesterday when I tried to quit, but then I started drinking and me and Rick smoked everything I had,” she explained shrugging her shoulders as she shook. 

“Hold on,” Matthew said getting up and going to his room. When he came back, he held out the half smoked blunt from his first date with Vivian. The one that got him into all this mess. 

“Why do you have weed?”

“Well… technically it’s not mine, but it was left for me…”

Y/n narrowed her eyes and said, “are you trying to give me her weed?”

He made an annoyed clicking sound with his tongue and said, “who cares where it’s from, will it help or not.”

Sighing, Y/n reached up and gingerly took the blunt. “I don’t have a lighter. There is one in my desk drawer.

Nodding his head, he walked to her room while saying, “maybe once you’ve smoked, you’ll want to eat something. Keep up your energy. I got some chicken noddle for you. I can heat it up.” He then disappeared into her room. Once he stepped through the door though, he stopped dead in his tracks and swallowed. Sitting at the foot of her bed was two suitcases and a laid-out outfit. He snapped out of it when he heard Y/n strained voice call out.

“If there isn’t one in the desk, then check my bedside table.”

Matthew skirted around the luggage as though it would bite him and retrieved a lighter from her desk. Giving the bags one more forlorn glance, Matthew headed back out to the living room. He quietly sat down and handed her the lighter.

Y/n noticed that Matthew was now acting off and was very quiet. Just as she was about to ask him what was wrong, he blurted out, “are you moving out?”

“What? No… not unless you want me to.” 

“Then why do you have two bags of luggage in your room?”

Y/n looked at him a long time and then turned to lite the blunt. 

“Y/n?”

“I’m going to be leaving for a little while… There is this place. Kathryn said it’s really nice. Her personal sponsor runs it. She was able to get me past the waiting list. I’m got to be there tomorrow at 8 or I lose my spot.”

“How- how long are you going to be gone?”

Y/n took a hit and held it out to Matthew, who shook his head no. Shrugging, she took another hit and said, “It’s a 30-day program.”

Matthew nodded his head, while he stared into space. Then he asked, “that’s a long time. Does this place work?”

“If you really want it to.”

“Do you?”

Taking another pull, Y/n nodded her head. “I can’t be this person anymore, Matthew. They have therapists there that help you start working through to the root of the problem.”

“You need to love yourself again,” Matthew said, quietly, almost to himself.

Y/n tilted her head and looked at Matthew, who was looking down, clearly in deep tough. Leaning forward, Y/n put out the blunt. The she reached out putting her hand lightly on top of his. Matthew startled, but turn his hand so that Y/n’s palm was against his and he wrapped his fingers around her smaller hand. 

“Are you feeling like you can eat something?” 

Nodding slightly, y/n watched as Matthew stood, still holding her hand, “I’ll go heat up some soup. Get you some strength,” he said before bending to place a kiss on top of her head. 

As he lowered his face, Y/n tilted her head back, causing his lips to meet hers. At first, their lips just gently pressed together, but then it quickly intensified. Letting go of her hand and braced himself on the back of the couch, while his other hand brushed against her face, only to roughly bury itself in her hair, pulling her head back further to deepen the kiss.

Y/n reached up with both her hands, one wrapping around the arm he was using to support himself and the other found the back of his head, desperately keeping his face pressed to hers. She opened her mouth and just let him devour her, moaning deeply into his mouth, causing him to moan back. Suddenly, he sunk to his knees in front of her, changing the angle of the kiss. Reaching behind her, he wrapped his arm around his waist pulled her close to the edge of the couch and closer to his body. Y/n pulled his hair to tilt is head back, much like he had moments before, and bit his lip, causing Matthew to hissed, but also chuckled. 

God, he loved kissing her. Pulling back, he pressed his forehead against hers and said, “God, I love so much.” He then tried to slide his hand up the back of her tank top, causing Y/n to sit back.

“Matthew, we need to stop. We can’t do this. I’m not, strong enough right now and it will only make things messier. I love you. You know I do, but it’s not enough right now. I need to focus on me. I’m so sorry,” she said in a rush, tears starting to run down her cheeks.

He knew she was right, but all he wanted to do was show her how much she meant to him. How she was his everything. Closing his eyes, he pulled his hands away from her and took a deep breath. Opening them again, he reached up and wiped the tears from her face and said, “I’ll wait for you until you get back and you’re better. I’m not going anywhere. You just tell me when you’re ready.”

Y/n looked away and swallowed, “Matthew… it’s going to be a while before I’m ready for anything. I’m not even sure we should be more then friends at this point. All we seem to do is hurt each other. We’re just not the same people we use to be… maybe we just aren’t compatible anymore.”

Matthew scoffed at that, “Please, if being with some else has showed me anything it’s that you and I are very compatible. Not to go into anything, but last night was awkward as fuck. Apparently, it’s surprising that I can be little rough?”

Y/n lifted and eyebrow, and a small smirk lifted the corner of her mouth. “That bad huh? I mean you can be a little intense. I blame it on the whole, being a 26-year old virgin thing… and probably too much porn.”

“So, was it too much for you too,” he asked concerned, “you seemed to like it… a lot.”

“Oh, no I loved it. Probably the best sex I’ll ever have in my life, but if I didn’t know you like I do, I can see how it could be a little intimidating.” 

“Oh…,” he said with a contemplative look on his face.

“But I’m not talking about sexuality compatibility, because yes we have a shit ton of that. I mean us, personally wise.”

“You don’t think my personally is good with yours? What are you talking about? We have the same hobby, like the same music and like same shit on the tv. We are both undeniable dorks. We love the same foods, seasons and holidays. Hell, even like the same candle scents. How are we not compatible? You’re just scared. You’re scared I’ll see all your dark icky insides, the stuff that fuels your addiction and that I won’t want you anymore. You’re scared you’re going mess things up for me or drag me down with you. But none of that is going to happen.”

“Ok, fine. So, I’m scared and we are compatible. We go together like white on rice, but that still doesn’t change what I saying to you. It’s going to take longer than 30 days to fix me. It could be months, hell even years before I feel like I’m in a place where I could even try. That I trust that I won’t mess it up. It’s not fair of me to ask you to wait. What if once everything is said and done and I still don’t think I’m going to be able be with you and not hurt you in the end? Then what? You’ve waisted even more years of your life that you could have been happy.”

“Why do you get to decide for me though? You’re doing to me is what Benny did to you. You’re deciding what’s best for me and not letting me decide.”

Y/n sighed and looked away. “Matthew… I just don’t think at this point we will work. You’ll always be my best friend. That will never change, but I think it’s time we just admit we are not going to work romantically. Too much has happened.”

“So that’s it. You’re telling me we will never be together?” 

Y/n was quiet for a long moment, still refusing to look at him. “It’s going to be hard, but yes. That’s what I’m telling you.”

Finally looking at him, she watched as Matthew’s face started to crumble. He then closed his eyes and shook his head and stood.

“I’ll go heat up that sop for you,” he said quietly, before grabbing the paper bag from the table and walked into the kitchen. 

Y/n sat quietly, thinking about what she had just told him. Did she mean it. Would she be able to move through the rest of her life knowing he would never be hers? That one day he would marry, have children with, and grow old with someone else. Before Matthew had re-entered her life, those all had become givens. They still hurt; they were just something else added to the pile of lost childhood dreams. She had a feeling that continuing to live with Matthew would only make things more complicated, but she wasn’t quite ready to think about.

Y/n was pulled from her thoughts when Matthew walked back into the living room with two bowls of soup and sleeve of saltines under his arm. Walking up to her he handed her a soup mug and then turned and grabbed a spoon from the table and plopped it in her bowl. He then placed the crackers next to her, grabbed the remote and sat on the other side of the couch. Putting a good amount of distance between them. 

Noticing, y/n swallowed and tried to push it to the back of her head. She thanked him quietly for the soup, which he only hummed a response as he flipped through the channels, on to stop on Golden Girls reruns. She watched him from the corner of her eye as he began to eat his soup quietly. It almost felt like he was giving her the silent treatment. That was until he spoke, startling her and almost causing her to spill her soup.

“Did you want to watch something else? I mean last time I checked Rose, Blanche, Dorthy, and Sophia where must more entertaining than a skinny white guy sipping soup,” he said deadpan, without looking away from the tv.

“Umm, no… I’m sorry,” she said nervously turning her eyes to the tv and began to eat her soup. Once she was done. She wrapped herself in blankets again, as her cold chills started to return. 

“When can you take something for your fever again?”

“Around 10.”

Matthew places his bowl on the table and went into the bathroom and came back and held out his hand. “It 10:30,” he said, as she took the four Advil from his palm, she put them in her mouth and then took the bottle of water he was handing to her, as well. He sat back down, far away from her, and continued to eat his soup.

As, the evening went on, Matthew didn’t know how he was supposed to act towards Y/n. He didn’t want to seem like he was trying to push anything. She had made up her mind. He was going to have to respect it no matter how much his heart was breaking. Glancing over at her he could tell she was fighting dozing off. 

“I can help you to your bed if you’re ready,” he offered.

Without, turning to look at him, she shook her head and said, “No, it’s been a long time since we’ve hung out and just sat and watched tv. Tomorrow I’ll be leaving for a whole month and I just want to spend time with you.” She could feel his eyes on her. She hadn’t looked at him since he called her out earlier.

“Your body is going through a lot right now. It needs rest. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still be here when you get back. Or at least lay down out here.” He reached for her pillow and placed it against his thigh and patted it. Y/n, finally looking at him gave him a suspicious look.

“Don’t look at me like that! No funny business. You look like you’re going to fall down at any moment, so lay down.”

Sighing, y/n said, “Fine,” and laid down, resting her head on the pillow in his lap. It wasn’t long until she felt Matthew starting to absentmindedly run his fingers through her hair. Before she knew it she was drifting off the sound of the tv and Matthew’s soft airy laughs.

When Matthew heard quiet snoring coming from his lap, he looked down and smiled. He knew he should get her to her bed, but he totally understood what she was saying before. She didn’t want to lose the last moment they would have together for a long time. 

So, his reruns forgotten, Matthew spent the better part of an hour playing with her hair and mesmerizing her face. She was beautiful, more than beautiful and it was killing him. He watched her sleep for so long that he himself drifted off.

******

Matthew jerked awake, to a stiff neck and to find y/n still sound asleep. There were infomercials paying on tv telling him it was probably late. Reaching for his phone, Matthew checked the time and saw that it was almost four am. He decided it was probably time to get her and himself to bed. 

Gently, he woke Y/n and told her it was time for bed. Still somewhat out of it and drowsy, she let him sit her up while he collected her pillow and blankets. He then helped her up off the couch and steadied her as he led her to her room and bed. Once she crawled in he gave her, her pillow and covered her with blankets.

“What time to you need to get up?”

“Probably around 6. What time is it now?”

“Almost 4, so you should be able get couple more hours. How are you getting there? Is Kathryn picking you up,” he asked running his fingers through her hair again.

“No, she isn’t able to bring me so I’m gunna call an Uber. Mmm, that feels good,” she said sleepily, before yawning.

He smiled at how cute she was and then asked, “Can I bring you instead? I’ll just be late for work. I’ll just call and explain. Let me bring you.”

Y/n quietly stared up at Matthew for a moment, her eyes wandering all over his face. She then swallowed and then sat up and reached out to trace the sharp edges of his face with her fingers. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her finger tips. 

When her touch disappeared, he opened his eyes to see y/n staring at him. “Why are you always so good to me? Even when I can’t do the same for you? Doesn’t it make you tired?”

He swallowed hard and looked at her hands that at where now resting in her lap. “No, it’s not tiring because I love you. And you do a lot more for me then you think. “

Y/n leaned forward and said, “I want to kiss you one last time. Is that ok?”

Nodding he gently grabbed her face and pulled her to him. He kissed her like it was the last time he would ever see her and like his life depended on it. 

When she pulled away, she said, “Yes, I would love it if you drove me. Thank you”

“You’re welcome,” he said trying to lean in to kiss her again only for her to cover his lips with her finger tips. 

“That was our last kiss. I just needed one for the road. Friends for here on out,” she said, her voice cracking with emotion.

He smiled sadly at her and pulled her blankets up and said goodnight.

Leaving her room, he finally let his tears fall. She was everything he wanted and it was so far out of reach. Sighing sadly, he entered his room to get as much sleep as he could.

****** 

The ride to the clinic had been so in silence. Y/n was visibly ill and nervous.

“If you need me to pull over just let me know. Everything is going to be alright. You can do this. You’re strong,” he said to encourage her, while reaching out to squeeze her hand.

She silently gave him a small smile, and then said, “thank you.”

“I’m always gunna be here. Always!”

She smiled and then it faded and she wrinkled her brow before saying, “I want you to keep perusing Vivian. She seems nice. Like she really likes you. It will get better in the bedroom. Just take it slow and listen to what her body is telling you.”

“I don’t know if I can keep seeing her. I feel like I’ve been using her and it makes me feel guilty. Im not that guy, you know.”

“Well, if you seriously date her then you’re not using her. The feeling should past.”

The remainder of the drive was done silently as they just listened to the radio.

As they pulled into the parking lot, they were greeted by the owner who introduced herself to Y/n and helped her into a wheel chair. Matthew grabbed her bags and followed them into the facility. He quietly watched as she filled out paperwork, worrying her bottom lip the whole time. He could feel her fear and nervousness rolling off of her. Reaching out he started to rub circles on her back, doing his best to calm her.

Once the papers where done, what he assumed to be nurses, took her bags and told her it was time to go. She reached out and took his hand and squeezed it painfully tight. 

“You’re strong. You can do this. It’s only 30 days. I’ll be here when you’re done. I promise! I love you, now go get better.”

She swallowed hard and nodded her head, trying to fight back the tears. The nurse then started to roll her away, only for her to grab the wheels and yell, “wait!” Weakly she got out of the chair, causing Matthew to rush to her, worried she would fall. As soon as, he reached her however, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and pulled him down into a deep kiss. 

When they pulled away, Y/n said, “thank you! I love you! I just needed one… or another one for the road, but from this point on…”

He nodded his head in understanding, and said, “yeah I know. Got take care of yourself. You have my number. If they let you make calls, you can call me at any time.” He kissed her forehead and helped her back into the chair and waved goodbye, as she was rolled away and down a hall and disappeared around a corner.

He swallowed back the lump in his throat, as he turned to leave. Pausing before he walked out the door, he looked back to where she had disappeared down the hall and sighed. He missed her already.


	10. Part 10

Twenty-nine days. That’s how long Y/n has been gone. Come tomorrow evening, she will be home. Which is why Matthew couldn’t sleep. Lying in his bed next to Vivian, so much was going through his mind. So many mixed emotions. He was excited to see her again because he missed her terribly, but he was also nervous about her return. He had talked with her once or twice since dropping her off, and she had sounded good... happy. She had asked him how things were going with him and he had told her he was now dating Vivian, and it was going well. He wanted to gauge her reaction before she got home. While Y/n had been quiet for a moment, she sounded generally happy for him once she did respond. She had made it very clear that when she returned, she wouldn’t be ready for any kind of romantic anything with anyone. As far as she is concerned, nothing ever happened between them. She had asked him if he understood and could respect that, and he agreed. 

Matthew had to admit that having Vi around to distract him had been helpful. He even really enjoyed spending time with her. In the beginning, he was somewhat reluctant, but then he was honest with himself and knew that it was pointless to wait for Y/n. She had made it very clear that they would, more than likely, be nothing more than friends. So he decided to fully dive into the growing relationship he had with Vivian.

So, over the last month, Vivian and Matthew spent almost every day together. She was funny and sweet. She didn’t even get embarrassed when he acted like a dork in public. She would just laugh and give him a kiss. Dare he say, he was actually falling for her. He looked forward to their time together, and things in the bedroom had definitely improved. The key was to accept she would never replace Y/n, and that, in the bedroom, she had different tastes. Once he realized this, he was able to enjoy and appreciate the intimate time he spent with Vi.

Matthew just hoped his new found relationship with Vi didn’t make Y/n’s return any more awkward than it was before. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to have sex with Vivian while Y/n was in the next room over. He knows that Y/n told him to date her, but saying it and having to hear Vi scream his name, are two different things. And, as it turns out, Vi is pretty loud now that they’ve gotten comfortable with each other. Maybe they would have to spend more nights at her place. Hopefully, Y/n will be able to handle the fact that he was dating and sleeping with someone else.

He had also hoped it wouldn’t cause any tension between Vivian and himself. He had noticed that the closer it got to Y/n’s return, the clingier Vi got. She seemed almost nervous. She had actually even asked him more than once if he was attracted to Y/n or if he thought she was pretty. It probably didn’t help that he said yes, she was obviously pretty, but then quickly back peddled and said he wasn’t attracted to her like that, though. That aesthetically, yes, he could see how most people would find her very attractive. He then rambled on about how they were friends and she was like a sister. Vivian had finally stopped Matthew from talking, but by then, he was sure he dug himself a pretty deep hole. He protested too strongly and desperately for it to be truthful. Even he could see it, after that blunder of a conversation; Vivian never brought it up again, and pretended like it never happened. He knew she still thought about it, though. Every time Y/n came up in conversation, Matthew would see her stiffen slightly. He was just going to have to prove to her that she was the only girl he wanted… even if it wasn’t the complete truth.

Sighing, he turned in his bed, facing Vivian’s sleeping form. She had offered to go with him tomorrow evening to pick up Y/n, but he declined and she got upset and went to bed somewhat angry. He felt bad for saying no, but didn’t seem like it was a good idea. Not only that, he just didn’t want to have to split his attention between the two of them. Matthew hadn’t seen Y/n in a month. He just wanted to focus on her. Saturday evening couldn’t come soon enough.

******

Y/n sat on the bed that she called her own for the last month. She was excited to return to her normal life: her home, her job….. Matthew. She missed him, but she wasn’t going to let herself think about that. 

Sighing, Y/n stood and started to make a second sweep of the room, to make sure she hadn’t left anything behind. Even though she was excited to return to a normal life, she was also going to miss the clinic. She knew that it sounded crazy, but the time she had spent here was the most stable she’s felt since her dad left, when she was a kid. She had made many friends and she loved the staff. Y/n also learned that sobriety is a lot easier to maintain when your living accommodations don’t include the one thing you need to be sober of. So, to say she was nervous to leave was a bit of an understatement.

Walking over to the mirror, Y/n fixed her hair and re-adjusted her clothing. When Matthew had offered to pick her up, she was reluctant to say yes. She had actually hoped Kathryn would be the one to bring her home. She just wasn’t ready to be stuck in a car with Matthew for an hour and a half long drive home. What were they going to talk about? His beautiful new girlfriend and how totally in love he probably was with her? Or the fact that she had gained ten pounds? Maybe they would chat about all the painful memories she drugged up in therapy?

A knock on her door pulled her out of her thoughts. Barbara entered her room with a warm smile. 

“How are you feeling today?”

“Hmm… a little nervous, but also excited. I’m going to miss everyone here.”

“Well, we will still see you every week for your therapy appointment and we are always a call away. Kathryn is also always there for you as well. You will do great. It’s normal to feel apprehensive about returning to your normal life, and fighting the temptations that brought you here. But you made so many wonderful improvements and confronted many issues that you are now working on. Just take it one step at a time, and if you stumble and fall back a step, it’s okay. Simply pull yourself up and take another step forward. It doesn’t mean you failed, it just means you’re human. No one is infallible.” 

“Kathryn seems to be,” Y/n said with a quiet chuckle.

“Oh, please! Don’t let that girl fool you. Honey, I’ve seen her fall on her face at least twice. She just didn’t get it right until her little girl came along. Sometimes it takes more than one try. Hell, sometimes it takes more than five! That’s how long it took me.”

Y/n smiled at Barbara, walked over to her and gave a tight hug. She clearly understood why Kathryn had chosen her as a sponsor. As they were pulling away, Y/n could hear someone talking to the other woman through her ear piece. 

“Ok, excellent! I’ll let her know,” she turned to Y/n, smiling, and said, “Time to go, kiddo! Your friend is here to pick you up. You got this and remember, we are just a call away.”

Y/n nodded her head and swallowed nervously as she walked to her bed to collect her bags. Throwing the duffel over her shoulder and pulling up the handle on her wheely suitcase she walked back to the door. Before she left, she turned and took one last look at her room. Pulling a deep breath through her nose and blowing it out her mouth, Y/n made her way down the hall. She stopped at the community room to say goodbye to some of the friends she had made and then slowly made her way to the lobby. 

She saw him before he saw her. She stopped a moment, and watched as he bounced on the balls of his feet with his hands shoved in his pockets. He was distracting himself with the pictures on the bulletin board, but she knew that when he bounced, he was nervous. This brought a smile to her face. She was just glad she wasn’t the only one. 

Walking slowly up to him, she asked, “What are you looking for?” She giggled when he jumped, but Matthew turned to her with a smile.

“Well… I was looking for you,” he said, taking her in. He had never seen Y/n look more beautiful in his life. She was just radiant. She was beginning to look too thin before. He still thought she was gorgeous, but he always liked her with a little more meat on her bones. Now, her once hollowing cheeks were full and her skin was glowing and rosie. He had gotten completely lost in the sight of her.

“Hmm, I should be on here somewhere,” she said, scanning the board. “Oh! There,” she said, pointing at a photo of herself standing next to an easel and smiling for the camera. 

When Matthew didn’t say anything, she turned and found him staring at her with his head cocked to the side, and a small smile on his face. Her eyes widened and she leaned back a little and asked, “What?”

God, he just had to touch her. He couldn’t wait another moment. Quickly, he launched himself at her, wrapping his arms around her center. While he spun her, he buried his nose in her hair and pulled in her scent. He had missed the way she smelled. The smell of cherry blossoms, vanilla, and jasmine would forever do things to him. One of the things Matthew missed the most since Y/n had been gone, was going into the bathroom after she showered, and the room being filled with the smell of her shampoo, body wash, and perfume.

Before she knew what happened, Matthew wrapped his arms around her waist, and lifted her feet off the ground, spinning with her. She squealed in surprise and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder as she held on for dear life. It felt really good to have him hold her so close. God, she missed him so much. By the time he stopped and placed her feet back on the ground, they were both giggling and dizzy. 

“I really missed you! You’re looking really healthy!” 

Laughing, Y/n asked, “Is that your nice way of saying I got fat?”

Matthew’s eyes got big and he started to back peddle, “What! No.. no, I just meant you look well. I would never think you were fat. You look really beauti-“

“Oh my god! Calm down. I was teasing you,” she said, smiling and shaking her head.

Rolling his eyes, he let out one of his airy chuckles and turned back to the pin board. “So, where are you?” Standing next to him, Y/n reached up and pointed to her picture again.

“Do you think they will notice if I take it?” Matthew asked. She looked so happy. He really wanted that picture.

“Yeah, I think they will notice the gaping bare spot on the board,” she said giggling, walking towards the door. “Let’s get out of here, we have a long drive.”

Nodding his head, Matthew waited for her to turn before quickly snatching the photo from the board and sliding it into his pocket. He then quickly jogged up to her, and took the handle of her rolling suitcase, holding the door open for her. Y/n smiled at him as she passed by.

When they got to the car, Y/n headed for the trunk and waited for Matthew to open it. Once he popped it open, she gave him a knowing smile as she placed her duffle bag in the boot and said, “You took it, didn’t you?”

Matthew’s eyes got comically large as he said, “What!? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He then quickly put her suitcase in the trunk and slammed it shut. Skirting around her, he started to head for the driver’s side, when she made like she was going for his pocket, causing him to quickly dart out of her reach. Laughing, he pointed to the other side of the car and jokingly said, “You better get in before I leave you.”

Y/n was grinning ear to ear when she shook her head and walked to the passenger’s side, ducking into her seat. Buckling up, she said, “You know I go back next week for therapy, so I’ll be able to see if it’s missing or not.”

“Still not proof. Maybe someone will make a complaint that you are uglying up the board, and they will be forced to take it down.”

Y/n gasped and smacked his arm, causing him to burst out in laughter while he rubbed it and said, “Ow…, okay, I took it. Anyways, that was a completely improbable scenario. You could never ugly anything up. Besides, they don’t need the picture.”

“Oh, and you do?”

“I needed it more than they did,” he said, matter of factly.

“For what reason could you possibly need the photo?”

He just gave her a small smile as he pulled away from the clinic. “You just look really happy in the picture. I have only have two or three since we were kids, and you're smiling in them, but not like in this one.” He pulled the photo from his pocket and smiled at it, before tucking it into his sun visor. “Your smile reaches your eyes in that one. You look happy and healthy and… and I love it. I lo…” He stopped when she gave him a warning look. Swallowing, Matthew looked away and fell silent.

Y/n felt bad that she cut him off with the “watch it” look, but she just didn’t want to go there. Especially now that Vivian was his girlfriend. She was okay with it, even if she wished things could be different. She really just wanted him to be happy and she didn’t think she, herself, could do that for him. Maybe, someday she would be able to, but then it would be too late and it wasn’t fair to have him wait on a maybe.

“So, you go back every week?”

“Yup, then eventually it will be every other week.”

“Okay, cool, so… how are you feeling about this? You think you’re ready?”

Laughing, Y/n said, “Not that I really have a choice, but yeah, I think I’m ready. I mean, I’m understandably nervous, but I think I got this. I’m also on a new medication for anxiety and depression. It seems to really be helping me keep things clear up stairs, ya know?”

He glanced over at her and smiled. “I’m really glad to hear that. You know I’m here to talk about anything that’s bothering you, or if the temptation to drink gets too hard. No matter where I am or what I’m doing. I’m here,” he said, reaching over to thread his fingers with hers, gently squeezing her hand before reluctantly letting go.

Blushing, Y/n smiled gently at him and said, “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.”  
Ducking her head, she gazed at her hand for a moment, and then turned to look out the window. Part of her wished Matthew hadn’t let go of her hand. The brief moment that he held it, Y/n felt braver and when he pulled away, she instantly missed the warmth.

Matthew was wondering if he had made a mistake by reaching out and holding her hand. He honestly hadn’t wanted to let go. He would’ve been happy to hold her hand in his all the way home. Now, she was very quiet, and the silence was kinda making him anxious. He glanced over to see her watching the scenery passing by. Deciding he needed some kind of noise in the car, Matthew reached over and turned on the radio, but left the volume low. 

When she heard the radio switch on, Y/n turned from the window and asked, “Do you mind if I flip through the stations?”

“What? No, please. Find us something good,” he said, smiling.

As she was flipping through, she passed an oldies station playing a familiar song. Not quite registering what song it was, she passed it, only to flip back, excitedly, when she realized what was playing. “Oh my god! I love this song! I haven’t heard it in years! You remember the Benny and Joon movie we watched when we were younger?” she asked, excitedly, as she turned up the song and started to sing.

Matthew knew instantly what song it was and inwardly groaned. Not because it was a bad song, but because it was painfully relatable. It was exactly how he felt about Y/n. Though, he did have to admit, watching her sing off key at the top of her lungs, while dancing in her seat with a smile plastered on her face, wasn’t horrible to see.

“But I would walk 500 miles. And would walk 500 more. Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door.” As Y/n sang the song, she figured Matthew would join in as he usually did, but when she looked over at him, she noticed that while he had a smile on his face, his brows were pulled together and he was white knuckling the steering wheel. “What’s up with you? Don’t you like the song?”

Shaking his head, he teasingly said, “No. No, I like the song. I’m just going to my happy place to survive your singing.”

Laughing, she lightly shoved his shoulder and said, “Oh my singing? Please, I may not be Freddy Mercury, but I’m a hell of a lot better than you! You forget, I’ve heard the squawking you call singing!”

He hissed and replied, “Ouch! You’re mean. Squawking, huh?”

Y/n smiled sweetly and batted her eyes while she nodded her head at him, before continuing to sing the song.

“When I come home, well I know I’m gonna be. I’m gonna be the man who comes back home to you!”

“Oh, okay… I’ll show you squawking! And if I grow old, well, I know I’m gonna be. I’m gonna be the man who’s growing old with you,” he sang over her, exaggerating his bad singing.

Y/n folded over with laughter, but then joined him again, in singing the song.

“Da da da (Da da da), Da da da (Da da da,)” Matthew sung and then paused for Y/n to sing the next part.

“Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da!”

Then, together, they sang the chorus, “But I would walk 500 miles. And would walk 500 more. Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door.”

By the time the song came to an end, they were both laughing and smiling to the point their stomachs were hurting. They spent the rest of the drive home listening and singing oldies on the radio. 

*****

As they stumbled into the elevator, Matthew, very loudly and obnoxiously, started to sing the opening lyrics to The Tokens’, The Lion Sleeps Tonight. 

“A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh.”

Laughing, Y/n pleaded, “Oh my god, stop! The neighbors will complain. I’m sure some are calling animal control as we speak. They’re reporting a dying animal!”

Laughing, he stopped and agreed, “Okay, okay I’ll stop. Really that bad, huh?”

“Yes,” she said laughing, only to stop when Matthew tilted his head down, bulging his eyes out while looking at her from below his brow, and slowly spread a large toothy grin across his face. “Ewww! Stop that! It’s creepy. Why are you making that face at me?” Y/n whined, as she visibly cringed.

Just as the elevator doors opened to their hallway, Matthew released the very loud and very high pitched, “Wee- ee- ee- e- he- he- ee- ee- ee- e- ee- um- um- buway,” part of the song.

Y/n quickly covered his mouth with her hand, whining while laughing, “Will you stahp?! What is wrong with you? You’re like a very annoying child!” She then heard him mumbling something from beneath her hand. “If that’s you telling me to move my hand, then no! You’ll just do it again. I know you too well, Gubler!”

He then narrowed his eyes at her before sticking out his tongue and licking the palm of her hand. Y/n squealed and snatched her hand away from his mouth, wiping his spit off on his chest. 

“Gross! You’re so unsanitary,” she said, hurrying out of the elevator.

Matthew followed very close behind her, and said, “Last time I checked, you’ve never complained about me licking you.”

Y/n stopped so quickly, Matthew collided with her, causing her to stumble forward. He quickly grabbed her arm and steadied her, before walking around to see her complete look of shock. He threw his head back as he laughed, and walked to their door and started to unlock it. 

Y/n couldn’t believe he had said that. She was still in shock when she slowly started to walk to the apartment door. As she stopped next to him, he said, “You okay? Now, I kinda want to see how many times I’m able to shock you stupid. It’s kinda funny.” 

Y/n rolled her eyes and pushed past him into the apartment and warned, “You better watch it! I know where you sleep!”

Matthew just smiled at her, tempted to ask what she would do. Crawl in his bed? But he knew not to push it, so instead, he asked, “I was wondering if you wanted to go out to eat to celebrate? Or, if that’s too much, too soon, we can order in and watch a movie or reruns. I think I saw that Alf was on demand…”

Happy for the change in topic, she told him that ordering in and Alf sounded awesome. As Matthew called in their order, she collected her bags and excused herself to her room to change into something more comfortable.

It felt weird being back in her room, but at the same time, comforting. Depositing her bags on her bed, Y/n walked over to her dresser and began to rifle through her jammy drawer, when she noticed the Halloween picture sitting on her desk. Slowly walking over, she picked it up and ran her fingers over the glass covering the image. Of course it made sense for him to remove it from his room, now that he was dating Vivian, but it still saddened her a little bit. Though, she was happy that now she gets to see it everyday. Placing it, once again, on her desk, she walked back to her dresser and pulled out a pair of purple plaid sleep pants and a black tank top.

Quickly changing, she exited her room and headed out into the living room to find Matthew trying to get the on demand to work. He was so horrible at stuff like that. Giggling, she plopped down next to him and took the remote from his hands.

Looking over at Y/n, Matthew had to stifle a groan. As she dropped down next to him, he couldn’t help but noticed her ample breasts bouncing with the action. She had clearly taken off her bra, and all he wanted to do was reach over and feel how soft they were. It had been so long since he had felt her body, but when it came to Y/n, he clearly understood Spencer’s eidetic memory. He could remember every curve, edge, scar and beauty mark that made up her body. He could also remember exactly how it felt to be inside her and the way she tasted. He would sometimes have dreams filled with the moans and gasps she made the couple of times they were together. God, he loved the sounds she made.

He was so lost in thought, he didn’t even realize she had taken the remote from his hand. It wasn’t until she stood up and walked past him to the door, did he realize that the delivery person had knocked. As he completely came out of his daydream, he realized he needed to excuse himself to the bathroom… fast.

When Y/n had turned around with the food in her hands, she saw Matthew fleeing. Confused, she just shook it off and started to lay everything out on the coffee table. When Matthew exited the bathroom almost ten minutes later, she laughed and asked, “Did you clog the toilet again? You really need to see a doctor about that. Also, shut that door. I don’t want anything seeping out while I’m trying to eat.”

While making a funny face and laughing sarcastically, he shut the door. For some reason, the thought of her thinking he took a shit was much more appealing than admitting he was just feverishly masturbating to the thought of her riding him. That he was imagining the site of her bare breasts bouncing up and down, as she did so.

“Come sit down. I’m gonna grab some plates,” she said, standing, causing her pants to ride a little lower on her hips. Walking to the couch, he forced himself to look away and try and clear his mind before he had to return to the bathroom.

Re-entering the living room, Y/n noticed that Matthew was acting a little odd and he appeared to be doing his best to look anywhere, but her. “You okay? You’re acting kinda funny… Did… did I do something?”

Finally looking up at her, he saw the worry in her face. Sighing, he came clean, “No… I did. Look, you know how I feel about you and the last 30 days of having a girlfriend hasn’t changed that. If anything, you being so far away only made these feelings more intense. You know my body has always reacted to you at the most inappropriate times…”

It took Y/n a second to realize what he was saying, but when she did, a small “Oh,” slipped past her lips. “So you were just…” she trailed off pointing at the bathroom.

Matthew ducked his head, blushing, and said, “Yeah… I’m sorry. I’m a fucking perv. I noticed you didn’t have a bra on and… it was all downhill from there, but you didn’t do anything wrong. It was all me. I just need to not let my mind wander in that direction.”

Y/n was silent for a moment, then said, “No, you’re good. I’m gonna go get a sweater though. Maybe that will help.”

Quickly shooting up from his seat, Matthew intercepted her and said, “No, you shouldn’t have to do that. You should be able to be comfortable in your own home without me being disgusting.”

“It’s okay, I’m kinda cold anyway. You’re fine, really. Don’t worry about it,” she said, reaching up and placing a hand gently on the side of his face. For a moment, she brushed the pad of her thumb over his cheek bone and smiled softly at him, before pulling away and heading to her room, leaving him standing in the middle of the living room. As she was about to pass through her bedroom door she paused and turned to look at his bewildered face. “It happens to me too, sometimes. You’re not disgusting.”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise, and he asked, “Really? It does?”

She laughed quietly, “Yes, especially when you’re walking around here in nothing but boxers and a kimono… my mind may wander... So if you’re disgusting, so am I. This is hard… I know that. But us, being friends… it really is for the best. But, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re ridiculously sexy to me. And it’s hard knowing how good it is when we are together. So, just don’t beat yourself up.” She smiled at him once more, and disappeared into her room, only to return with a zip up hoodie. 

Heading back over to the couch, she smiled at Matthew as she sat next to him. She noticed he had waited to make his plate until she got back, so she collected one of the plates and asked him what he wanted. After making his plate, she handed it to him and he smiled and thanked her. As he hit play on the TV, she made her own plate, then readjusted, so she was sitting cross legged and they began to eat. As they sat and watched Alf, they laughed and joked with each other. At one point, Matthew took a bite of a cabbage roll, something they had never ordered before, and moaned at the taste. Without saying a word, he held it out for Y/n, and she leaned in and took a bite. She hummed and covered her lips with the tips of her fingers as she chewed and smiled at him after she swallowed. 

“Right,” he said to her unspoken approval.

“We’ll have to get more of those next time,” she said, before they fell quiet again and watched their show.

They had just finished eating, leaving their plates and containers on the coffee table, now halfway through their second episode of Alf. They had just gotten comfy with a shared blanket and Y/n resting her head on his shoulder while his arm draped over hers, when there was a knock on the door.

Pulling away from Matthew, Y/n asked, “Were we expecting someone?”

Pulling his brows together and standing, he shook his head and said, “No.” Walking over to the door, he peeked through the peephole and sighed. “It’s Vivian,” he said, unlocking the door.

Y/n slid to the other side of the couch, bringing the blanket with her, reaching out to turn on the table side lamp. She knew how it would look to a girlfriend if she had stayed where she was. As Matthew greeted Vivian with a hug and a kiss, Y/n decided that now was actually a good time to start clearing off the table. She really needed the distraction.

Standing, she started to close the food containers, stacking their plates and silverware. As she was about to start carrying everything to the kitchen, Vivian hurried up to her and reached into her large bag, pulling out a bottle of sparkling grape juice and handed it to her. 

“Oh… um, thank you… but, I-“

“Oh it’s completely non-alcoholic. See..” she said, spinning the bottle in Y/n’s and pointing to the label.

“So it is…. That was very… um, kind of you,” she said as politely as possible, looking over Vivian’s shoulder at Matthew, who was currently giving his girlfriend a “what the fuck” look. When his eyes met Y/n’s, he could see how uncomfortable she was holding a bottle that closely resembled alcohol, so he slipped past Vivian, taking the bottle from her.

After sharing another look, he said, “I’m just going to put this away.” Before doing so, he laid his hand on Y/n’s shoulder and squeezed it.

Vivian had caught the shared look between her boyfriend and his friend. She had the feeling they were judging her, like she had done something wrong. She was just trying to be nice. How ungrateful could Y/n get? 

Vivian was trying to be supportive and Y/n was making it hard to do so. She had been very understanding so far. She had put up with Matthew and his mopping the first week Y/n was gone. Then there was his whining that Y/n wasn’t calling more. It just felt like the first month of their relationship had been overshadowed by Y/n and her drinking problem. Vivian had hoped that once Y/n returned home and things returned to normal, she would finally get Matthew’s full attention. 

She also had an overwhelming feeling that she may have interrupted something. It was pretty dark in the room, and there was a blanket on the couch, she noticed. Not to mention, Matthew’s greeting was not quite as sincere as usual. She almost felt like he wasn’t happy to see her. She knows he said that tonight was supposed to be a transition night, but to her, that meant she should be included. Seeing as how she usually spends her free time here. Which she didn’t plan on changing anytime soon. Vivian honestly didn’t like, nor trust Y/n as far as she could throw her. She had no doubt that Y/n still wanted Matthew for herself, and she wasn’t sure he would turn her down if Y/n offered. She had full intentions to keep a very close eye on them.

Y/n sat down awkwardly on the couch. Vivian had a sour look on her face and was being extremely quiet. Y/n wasn’t very sure how to navigate this situation. So she tried once again to thank Vivian for her gift.  
“Thank you again, it was very kind of you.”

Vivian’s eye quickly darted to the kitchen, before slowly sliding back to her. She gave Y/n a cold smile and said, “Please, you clearly didn’t like it. Which is very ungrateful. I didn’t need to get you anything.”

Y/n was taken aback by Vivian’s attitude. She didn’t know how to respond. “I’m really sorry if I’ve offended you. It… it really wasn’t my intention. It’s just that… um, what you brought is meant to mimic alcohol, and could lead me to want the real thing. It’s still a struggle, everyday, to not drink. But I really do appreciate the thought. It was very sweet.”

Vivian just rolled her eyes and said, “Well, I’m sorry. I just figured after 30 days, you’ve learned some self-control.”

Y/n eyes grew large. She couldn’t believe this woman. Trying her best to keep her voice non-combatant, Y/n replied, “Well, unfortunately that’s not how it works. Alcoholism is a lifelong battle. Sobriety is something you work and fight for. In the beginning, it is very hard, and even the smallest of temptations can put you several steps back. It takes time… more than a 30-day clinic stay.”

“It sounds like it would have been easier to not have become an alcoholic. I’m sure your friends and family are very proud of you…”

Taking a deep breath, Y/n swallowed and closed her eyes. She didn’t have the energy for this. Blowing out her nose, she stood and started to continue the cleaning process. “Well, you may be right. I’m gonna go ahead and clean up and then go to bed. It’s been a pretty long day. Thank you aga-“

“Why don’t you just go now. I’m sure Matthew won’t mind cleaning up after you. Just like usual.”

Okay, this bitch was really testing her now. She was not going to get in a fight with Matthew’s girlfriend the first night out of rehab, but she was starting to understand what this was all about. Vivian was clearly feeling some jealousy. This girl really needs to watch it. The only reason Matthew was even with her, was because she pushed him there. It would take just one look, one word, and he would leave Vivian for her. If she was a different person, she would unleash on Vivian, and give her the biggest wake up call. But she just smiled as politely as she could, and said, “That’s okay, I’d rather do it myself.” With that, she placed the food back in the paper bag, tucked it under her arm, grabbed the plates and headed into the kitchen, without giving Vivian another glance.

Once in the kitchen, she passed Matthew, and placed the dishes in the sink and turned on the water. She then popped the bag of food, loudly on the counter and proceeded to fill the sink to wash the dishes. 

If the fact that she slammed the bag of food down wasn’t enough to prove that Y/n was upset, then the sight of her voluntarily doing dishes would have set off Matthew’s alarms. Watching her a moment, he quietly put away the food, and then came behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, what’s wrong? You seem really tense.” His hand then slid down and started to rub her back when she braced her arm on the edge of the counter and hung her head. “Talk to me… please.”

Y/n sighed and then straightened herself. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the comforting feeling of Matthew’s hand that was now settled on the small of her back. Taking a couple of deep breathes, Y/n calmed herself before turning to Matthew, causing his hand to slide around to her hip. “I’m fine, just tired. I tend to feel tense in the evenings. It’s when I used to do most of my drinking. I think I’m gonna go ahead and call it a night. Thank you for making my day wonderful. I had a lot of fun today,” she said, smiling up at Matthew.

“What? No… we’ve barely watched any Alf. It’s early…”

Laughing quietly, she pulled away and dried her hands, “Yeah, it’s a little crowded now, and it’s been a long day for me. I’m ready to pass out. I’ll see you in the morning.” Giving him a small wave goodnight, she turned and started to head out of the kitchen, but Matthew caught her arm and stopped her. He held one of her small hands in one of his, while the other reached up and tucked a stray hair behind her ear and then cupped the side of her face.

“I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. I knew you could do it. You’re so strong. I know you still have a long way to go, but I’m proud of how far you’ve come.”

As they stood close and Matthew spoke to Y/n, neither saw Vivian make her way to the kitchen entrance. When Matthew had finished talking, Y/n smiled and ducked her head, a blush spreading across her cheeks. Looking back up, she quietly thanked him, but stepped back when she saw him swallow and his eyes fall to her lips. She said goodnight and started for her room, only to pause a moment when she saw Vivian. The one thought that passed through her mind was “fuck that bitch,” and as she passed her, Y/n said, in a voice low enough that Matthew wouldn’t hear, “I’m done with him, for now. All yours.” She then headed to her bedroom and shut the door.

“Did I interrupt something?”

Matthew gave her a confused look, “No, not at all, I was just telling her how proud of her I was. She has been so strong and has made such an improvement. I mean, it’s still gonna be hard, but I think she can do it!” He then moved back to the sink and finished the dishes.

“You didn’t seem all that excited to see me tonight. What were you guys doing when I got here?”

Sensing that Vivian might be worried about Y/n’s return, he stopped what he was doing and turned to face her. “First, I’m always happy to see you,” he said, before dropping a kiss on her lips, “Second, we were just eating dinner and watching Alf. She just wanted a low key return…”

Vivian shifted into her feet when he gave her a look. She knew what he was about to say and she was scrambling to come up with a way to respond.

“Like I said, I’m happy to see you, but there was a reason I asked for tonight to just be me and her. Why did you ignore my wishes and show up anyway? Also, I know you meant well by the sparkling juice, but it was a little insensitive. She didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but she needs to avoid all things that remind her of drinking.”

Vivian, being an actress and all, could act her way out of anything. Letting her chin wobble, she wrapped her arms around Matthew’s waist and laid her head on his chest, looking up at him. “I know, I’m sorry for coming. I was just trying to be supportive. To show you both that I was happy she was doing better and that I was willing to help any way I could. I know how much she means to you. You’ve been so worried about her. I’m also so sorry about the bottle… I didn’t think it through. I’m such a flake sometimes. I feel really bad now.”

Matthew smiled down and kissed her. She really was sweet. “You know what, don’t worry about it. Y/n will understand. Let me finish the dishes and then we can find something to watch.” He bent down again and kissed his girlfriend briefly on her lips, before turning and continuing the dishes. 

“I’ll just go see what’s on while I wait,” Vivian said, smiling at him before she left the kitchen and settled on the couch and skipped through the channels. She stopped on the newest episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. When Matthew came into the room and settled down next to her, he wrinkled his nose and said, “This can’t be the only thing on?”

“What? I love this show. I hope I get famous enough to hang out with them someday! Wouldn’t that be so cool?”

Matthew just gave her a pained smile, and said, “I guess. Maybe not for me… I just don’t find them all that appealing. But, I guess if I hadn’t already met and worked with him, mine would be Bill Murray.”

Vivian just shrugged her shoulders and cuddled into Matthew’s side to watch the show. Within five minutes, he couldn’t watch anymore and pulled out his phone, and got on Twitter. After tweeting some ridiculous stuff, Matthew gave Vivian a side glance. Seeing she was still watching her show, he decided he would text Y/n:

Matthew📱: hey u still up?

Y/n📱:Yeah, what’s up?

Matthew📱: what are u doin?

Y/n📱: drawing… is V still here?

Matthew📱: yup… she is making me watch that Kardashian show

Y/n📱: 🤢🤮

Matthew📱: lmao! IKR 

Matthew📱: I’d rather be watching Alf w/ u…

Matthew📱: Y/n?

Y/n📱: I’m still here

Matthew📱: I miss u!😕

Y/n📱: omg stahp dork! 🙄 I’m just in the other room.

Matthew📱: I know… but still.. u don’t miss me?

Y/n📱: 🤷🏼♀

Matthew 📱: ouch!!! 🤕 

Y/n📱: lmao

Matthew could actually hear Y/n giggling in her room, making him smile to himself. Looking over at Vivian again, he decided that he needed to find a way to get her to go home. This was supposed to be Y/n’s and his night. 

Sliding his phone in his pocket, he decided to play sick. Matthew suddenly grabbed his stomach and groaned as he stood from the couch. “Excuse me, I’m suddenly not feeling so good,” he said, quickly rushing to the bathroom, leaving Vivian shocked and confused on the couch. Once the door closed, he locked it and turned on the fan to hide the lack of noises. 

Matthew 📱: don’t go 2 sleep

Y/n📱: 🤨 why? What are u up 2?

Matthew 📱: don’t worry about it. Just don’t sleep yet. 😉

Y/n📱: 😑😑😑

Quietly laughing to himself, he flushed the toilet and ran the water like he was washing his hands and splashed some on his face to appear clammy. He then used some mouthwash to give the impression he may have thrown up and exited the bathroom with his hand on his stomach. Vivian quickly made her way to him and asked, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t think my food is agreeing with me. I’m just not feeling that great. I think I need to just get to bed.” 

Putting her hand on his face, she asked, “What can I do to take care of you? Let me make you feel better.”

“Um… honestly, I just want to go to bed. Maybe you should head home. I have a feeling it’s going to be a restless night. Plus, I really don’t want to get sick in front of you.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“I know, but I usually like to be alone when I’m not feeling well. It’s nothing personal…”

Pouting, she sighed and then agreed, “Okay, I’ll head out. If you need anything though, just call me. I’ll be more than happy to help.” She then hugged him and picked up her purse, heading to the door with Matthew following behind her. Turning around, she gave him another, longer hug. 

“I hope you’re feeling better by morning so we can still go to the Farmer’s Market. We were supposed to get you some gourds.”

“Hmm, me too. Tell you what, give me a wake up call tomorrow, and if I’m feeling better, I’ll swing by and pick you up.”

“Sounds like a plan! Get some rest, baby,” Vivian said, rising on her tiptoes to kiss him on his cheek, just in case he was contagious.

Matthew smiled at her and told her goodnight, shutting the door, locking it behind him. Part of him felt a little guilty, but he pushed it to the back of his mind. He waited a couple more moments to be sure Vivian wouldn’t return, before hurrying over to Y/n’s door. Knocking, he called out her name and waited for her to respond.

“Come in,” she shouted.

Opening her door, Matthew scurried into her room and launched himself onto her bed, flopping across the foot of her bed.

“What’s up buttercup?” he asked, with a huge grin.

“Where is your girlfriend?”

Laughing a little, “Told her I didn’t feel good. She went home.”

“You seem perfectly fine to me,” Y/n said, nudging his leg with her foot. When he reached out to grab her ankle and pull her towards him, she grabbed her pillow and thwumped him in the face with it, causing him to sputter.

Tossing the pillow to the floor, he gave her a predatory look and said, “Oh that is it,” and launched himself at her, causing her to squeal and curl up. Matthew began to tickle her mercifully, causing Y/n to scream and laugh uncontrollably. As she flailed about beneath him on the bed, he used one of his hands to push her head to the side giving him access to her neck. He leaned down and blew the loudest raspberry there. The feel of his lips on her neck caused Y/n to gasp. Pulling back, Matthew grinned at her and then licked his lips.

“Do you surrender?”

“Never!” she shouted, using his break in attack to start her own. Before they knew it, Matthew was the one flailing around on Y/n’s bed. She decided to use his moment of incapacitation to slip from the bed and run out the door. Matthew collected himself and took chase right behind her.

When he caught up with her, he grabbed her around the waist from behind, lifting her feet off the ground. “Got yeah!” Y/n started laughing and squirming.

“Okay.. okay! Truce! Truce! I call uncle!”

He carried her over to the couch, setting her down near it. He then spun her, playfully pushing Y/n onto the couch. Matthew then fell down on top of her, continuing his tickle attack.

“Sorry, you lost your chance for surrender! You now have to wait for mercy!”

As they laughed and wrested on the couch, Matthew’s hips settled between her thighs. He had gotten hold of her wrists and pinned her arms down while burrowing his face in her neck, trying to blow more raspberries. Subconsciously, he began to grind his erection against her wet center, causing Y/n to gasp and lift her hips into the sensation. Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room changed from playful to a heated desperation. Groaning, Matthew let go of her wrists and buried one of his hands in her hair as he began to suck and nip at her neck while the other hand found her hip. As they continued to grind and moan against each other, he pressed his forehead against Y/n’s, slipping his hand up her tank top.

The feel of his fingers tugging at her nipple was like being hit by ice-cold water, as she realized what they were doing. Groaning disappointedly, she stilled his hand and pulled it from her shirt, and said, “Matthew, stop. We have to stop. I’m sorry, we can’t do this….”

His hips stilled and he whined, nuzzling her nose with his before pulling away, and readjusting himself by putting a pillow over his lap. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he said quietly, looking anywhere but at her.

Sitting up herself, she swallowed and readjusted her clothes. “I know. It’s okay. Don’t worry about it…. Want me to put Alf back on?”

Nodding his head, he switched off the table lamp and sat quietly, waiting for the show to start. They spent the next two hours sitting in silence, and a cloud of sexual tension.

******

The next morning, Matthew was awoken on the couch by his ringing phone. At some point, Y/n and he fell asleep and somehow ended up entwined together on the couch. As his phone continued to blare from the coffee table, Y/n began to stir and sleepy mumbled, “Answer the damn phone. Make them go away,” and nuzzled closer to his chest. Clearly, she couldn’t give two fucks in the morning. Stretching out the arm that wasn’t wrapped around Y/n, he grabbed his phone and saw Vivian’s name. 

“Fuck!”

Sitting up quickly, he pulled away from Y/n, causing her to completely wake and sit up. He got up from the couch and answered the phone.

“Hey, babe. Yeah… sorry I was in the bathroom. No, I’m feeling up for it… yeah, much better…”

Y/n rolled her eyes as she heard Matthew tell Vivian that he just had to get ready and that he would be on his way. Standing, she padded into the kitchen to make some coffee, toast, and eggs. As she sat down with her breakfast, Matthew came into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. Turning, he looked over at Y/n as she scrolled through her phone, quietly eating her breakfast. He started to chew on his lip. He knew they would have to talk about the night before, but he didn’t know how to bring it up.

Y/n dipped her toast in the egg yoke on her plate and took a bite, and without looking up from her phone, she said around her toast, “Take a picture.”

“Pardon?” he asked, not really making out what she said.

Swallowing her food, she repeated, “Take a picture. It’ll last longer.”

Matthew just chuckled, pushing off the counter and walking over to her, “You should see your hair. It looks like small woodland creatures could be living in there.” 

“That’s nice.”

“Hey, don’t be like that! Can we at least try to get past last night without being short with each other?”

Looking up in confusion, she said, “I’m not upset about last night. We were just goofing around and it got out of hand. We just can’t let ourselves get into situations where that can happen.”

“Then why are you upset?”

“I’m not.” But she was. When she woke up, it felt nice to be curled up next to Matthew. She did have to admit that the morning was probably when her resistance would be at its weakest. But, she wasn’t going to tell him that. The real reason she was annoyed was because of how early she was woken when she didn’t have to be. The staff made them get up at 7 am every day at the clinic, and she had been looking forward to sleeping in. The fact that it was Vivian that woke her up, just agitated her even more.

Matthew narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you sure? Because you seem like you are.”

Sighing, Y/n popped her last bite of toast in her mouth and stood. Walking to the sink, she said, “Well, if I wasn’t before, I am now.” Placing her plate in the sink, she turned to face him, giving him an unamused look.

Matthew took a sip of his coffee and threw up his other hand in surrender. “Okay! Okay, I’ll drop it. I’m about to head out for a couple hours. Are you going to be okay by yourself?”

Y/n just crossed her arms across her chest, raising her eyebrow.

“What? It would be irresponsible for me not to ask,” he said, pouting.

Sighing, she pushed off the counter and walked up to him saying, “I know, I’m sorry. I’m going to be fine. Kathryn is going to swing by and we are going to a meeting at noon. I’m just gonna shower and get ready. Nothing to worry about. Go have fun doing whatever it is you two are doing at this ungodly hour.”

“Ahhh! That’s it! You’re mad you were woken up so early!”

Rolling her eyes, she said, “Maybe…”

Matthew laughed as he pulled her into a hug, causing Y/n to protest and push against his chest. “Nope. I’m hugging the sourness out of you,” he said, causing her to giggle and give into his hug. 

After a moment, he allowed her to pull away and said, “We are going to the farmers market. Any requests?”

“I’ve never been to one. I wouldn’t even know what to request.”

Smiling, he said, “I’ll surprise you then.” 

Returning his smile, she started for her room and said, “you do that! Have fun. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Wait, tonight?”

“Yeah, Kathryn is gonna cook me dinner after the meeting.”

“Oh, okay. You have fun too, then.” 

Turning, she smiled at him over her shoulder, and said, “I will.” With that, she entered her room, shutting her door behind her.

Matthew sighed, smiling to himself, before heading out the door.

*****

Vivian had been driving him crazy all day. It started the moment Matthew picked her up, as she sat in his car. When she heard the oldies station playing, she carried on about how he listened to worse music than her mother, and switched it to a rap station. Which was fine, he could tolerate the music change, but he just couldn’t help but realize they might not be quite as compatible as he originally thought. Matthew tried to push it out of his mind, but throughout the day, little things started to irk him. For instance, after getting Vivian several different things like soaps, candles, and some pieces of jewelry; she acted annoyed when he saw a really cool beaded aromatherapy bracelet he thought Y/n would like. Matthew also got Y/n some fresh cantaloupe and homemade saltwater taffy; all things that he knew she loved. This caused Vivian to make comments about how he seems to think he has two girlfriends. Even though she was saying it jokingly, he could tell she was really annoyed by it.

Then there was the wine incident, which was nothing short of a temper tantrum. Matthew was actually kinda shocked by Vivian’s behavior. She just seemed really hostile toward Y/n. She wanted a bottle of wine to bring back the apartment for the two of them, but when he laughed, passing the booth, Matthew honestly thought she was joking. Vivian stopped walking and angrily called his name. Turning, he had seen that she was serious, and tried to explain to her that they would not be bringing alcohol back to the apartment. Matthew thought that after the night before, Vivian understood the importance of not exposing Y/n to alcohol, or anything that could resemble it. Vivian had then made a comment about how he should just let her sink or swim. That, if he used the kiddie gloves on Y/n, she would never learn self control. Matthew had just stood there shocked, but unwilling to relent. Once she realized this, she had huffed and walked off, leaving him at the wine booth, completely flabbergasted. It didn’t take long for her to switch back to her overly sweet self, once he caught up with her, however. 

Matthew knew that their relationship was still new, and had started off during a pretty rocky time in his life. There had been a lot going on. In the first month of their relationship, he spent all his free time with her, though his mind was often preoccupied with Y/n. And, now that she was back, he could see how Vivian may be feeling jealous, possibly insecure. So he was trying to push past his feelings from earlier today, and be understanding.

When they got back to the apartment, Y/n was still out at Kathryn’s, so when Vivian wanted to mess around, Matthew was down for it. They had gone to his room and had a pretty good time. When he left to go to the bathroom though, he saw Y/n’s jacket draped over the back of the couch, and her bedroom door was closed. He’d been tempted to knock on her door, but chose against it. After using the bathroom, he returned to his bed and girlfriend.

*****

The next morning, Matthew was woken up by Vivian kissing him and saying it was time for her to go. Following her out the room, he walked her to the door and kissed her goodbye. Once it closed behind her, Matthew stopped and looked back at Y/n’s room. He knew he wouldn’t see her until that night and he wished he could talk to her before that, but there was no way she’d be awake at 4:30 in the morning.

Accepting that he would not see her until after work, he collected his clothes from his room and headed down the hall to take a quick bath, then get ready for work. Once he was bathed and dressed, Matthew stepped out of the bathroom, jumping in surprise. He wasn’t expecting to find Y/n sitting on the couch, eating a bowl of cereal. 

“Good morning! Please tell me that the saltwater taffy that was on the counter was mine, because I already ate, like….. half of it last night,” she said, giggling.

Matthew laughed too, and nodded his head and said, “Yeah, and the three cantaloupe in the fridge are yours too.”

Her eyes widened as she looked towards the kitchen, “How did I miss those? Thank you! I know what I’m gonna be eating all day,” she said, smiling at him.

Matthew stood there and smiled back, but then remembered about the night before. He wasn’t sure if he should bring it up or not. She was acting like nothing happened and if he brought it up, then it could just upset her when she didn’t need to be.

Y/n knew that Matthew would be worried about the night before, so she tried her best to show him that it wasn’t a big deal. However, she could tell he was worrying himself about it. Pausing her show, she said, “Hey, about last night. Don’t worry about it. I’m not upset. Vivian is your girlfriend and, of course you two have sex. It would be stupid for me to get upset. I’m okay, you’re okay. So stop standing there looking constipated, and finish getting ready for work. Also, thank you for the yummy treats.”

Matthew stood there looking like a fish, opening and closing his mouth, causing Y/n to laugh as she hit play. Once his brain caught up, he said, “I was just worried you had to sit and listen. I- I don’t think I could have handled it if the roles were reversed.”

Laughing, she shook her head and said, “Oh trust me! I didn’t listen longer than I had to. Just long enough to get my earbuds in. But again, no worries.”

“Okay…,” Matthew said, and continued to stand there awkwardly. “So, do you know when you’re returning to work?

“Um… I’m not sure. Kathryn is going to let me know. I guess the network found out about the whole ‘going to rehab and drinking on the job’ thing, and they are saying that I could be a liability. Which, I understand. They are pressuring Kathryn to hire someone new, but she is being stubborn and trying to fight for my job. I'm pretty much on paid leave until it’s decided.”

“I’ll talk to Kathryn and see who, exactly, I should talk to. I’ll tell them that you’re a long-time friend and my roommate, and that they don’t have to worry about it.”

“No, don’t do that. I really don’t want you to jeopardize your reputation just to save my job. I fucked up and I’ll handle the consequences. I’ll just become, I don’t know… a stripper?” Y/n said jokingly, bursting out in laughter, when Matthew scowled at her.

“The fuck you will! That’s it, you’ve just sealed the deal. I’m going to find someone at the network to talk to.”

Rolling her eyes, she said, “Fine, whatever! Now go get ready. Not that they would fire the great Dr. Reid. You’re not replaceable like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? They could kill me off just as easy as it is to fire you.”

“Please, you totally carry the fucking show, Matthew. Everyone loves your character. Everyone loves you! And it’s not just the show. You’re just one of those kinda people. You broke the fucking mold and could never be duplicated or replaced. I, on the other hand, am not one of those people.”

The causality with which she said that caused Matthew’s heart to ache. How could she see herself that way? He couldn’t get to her soon enough. Pulling her bowl from her and placing it on the table, he reached for her hands and pulled her to her feet. She looked up at him with confusion as he cupped her face with both his hands and stared deeply into her eyes and said, “You are NOT replaceable! Do you understand? No one could ever replace you. EVER!” He then dipped down and pressed his closed lips softly into hers. Pulling away, he said, “Never…,” and then kissed her again. When he pulled away that time, he could see unshed tears in her eyes. “Do you understand me?”

Nodding her head, she wiped at her eyes and smiled, “Yeah… now go get ready for work, dork,” walking him out from between the table and couch, and nudging him in the direction of his room.

“Okay. Okay, I’m going!”

Laughing, she returned to her cereal, only to pout when she found it had gone soggy. Standing, Y/n headed into the kitchen to rinse out her bowl. Just as she was finishing up, Matthew appeared next to her, causing her to jump. “Shit! I swear you need to wear a fucking bell or something,” she said, laughing.

He chuckled quietly, then said, “I got you something else. I saw it and I thought you would like it. I thought it could help you, too.” He held out a black velvet draw- string pouch.

Y/n smiled and gently took it from his palm, surprised by the weight of it. Untying the draw strings, she opened the pouch and pulled out a beautiful beaded bracelet. It was three leather straps that had all kinds of beautiful beads. The bottom strap had a sort of locket with a porous black stone inside. 

“It’s an aromatherapy diffusing bracelet. That stone is a lava stone, and it’s apparently very absorbent. You’re supposed to be able to put in a drop or two of your favorite perfume or essential oils. I did a quick google search for the best oils for recovery…. I got three. They’re in the bag,” Matthew explained, pointing towards it.

“Matthew, this is so beautiful! Oh my god, you’re too sweet,” she said, pouring the three different bottles into her hand.

“Um… the lavender oil helps release anxiety and stress. It also helps with going to sleep. I know that’s hard for you, sometimes. The ginger oil has restorative properties, especially for the liver. It’s supposed to help heal the damage done by drinking. This one I thought would help you the most. It’s black pepper oil. I know that doesn’t sound appealing, but it’s supposed to help with alcohol cravings by boosting the serotonin and dopamine levels in your brain.”

Y/n just stood and stared at Matthew in awe. This was the most thoughtful gift anyone had ever given her. Smiling, she slipped it onto her wrist and adjusted it to make it tight enough. She then held out her wrist so Matthew could tie the strings and keep it from loosening.

“Which scent do you want to try first?”

“Hmm, let’s try the black pepper oil.” Matthew opened the locket and put two drops of the oil on the lava stone and refastened the locket. Y/n then brought her wrist to her nose and smiled. 

“Thank you! I really love it. It’s so beautiful and so, so sweet of you, really!” She wrapped her arms around his waist, and laid her head on his chest. He hugged her back, happy that she loved her gift.

******

That night, when Matthew was on his way home, he was relieved to get the text from Vivian, saying she was going to be filming late and would not be available to hang out that evening. That just meant that Y/n and he could spend some time together. When he entered their apartment, it was pretty quiet and he was worried that Y/n wasn’t even there. He didn’t recall her mentioning a meeting, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t one.

Putting his things down in his room, he walked back out into the living room and noticed the bathroom door closed. Calling out her name, he waited for a response. Hearing her call out, he hurried over to the door, only then did he realize how badly he actually had to use the bathroom. Knocking on the door, he asked, “Hey, are you decent? I have to pee.”

“Yeah, you’re good. Come on in.” 

Opening the door, Matthew paused as his eyes widened when he saw her sitting in the tub, covered with bubbles…. Naked. He couldn’t see anything, but she was naked. 

“What? I thought you had to pee?” she asked, waving him over to the toilet.

“I… uh… yeah,” he stammered, as he pulled his eyes away from Venus, herself. Y/n’s hair was wet and slicked back, while the room smelled of cherry blossoms and jasmine. All he was really able to see was her delicate shoulders and slender neck, but it was enough to make his body react. Which is why it was taking him a second to get a flow going. 

“You okay over there? Sure you have to pee?”

“Yes…shhh. Stop talking.”

Giggling, Y/n hit play on her laptop, which was situated on an ottoman she had brought into the bathroom and placed in front of the tub. The sounds of Return of the Jedi filled the small room, helping Matthew relax enough to go. After finishing up and flushing the toilet, he went to the sink and washed his hands.

While he watched her through the mirror, he saw her raise a glass filled with a caramel colored liquid to her mouth. Thinking she had slipped and was drinking a glass of whiskey, Matthew rushed over to the tub and snatched the glass from Y/n’s hand.

“I told you to call me if you felt like you were going to drink. Why would you do this?”

Her face shifted from shock to anger. “Seriously? It’s fucking sweet tea! You should have asked before you assumed. Smell it, Matthew!” She watched as he brought it to his nose and physically deflated.

“I’m sorry, I just saw the glass and it looked like whiskey and I just… I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

Rolling her eyes, Y/n used the edge of the tub to lift herself half-way out of the water to try and grab her cup back. When she did so, however, she exposed her chest to just above her pubic bone, causing Matthew to stiffen in more ways than one. Y/n’s body was covered in bubbles that slowly slid down her curves. He couldn’t help but follow one particular cluster of bubbles that slid from her collar bone down to the tip of her left nipple, only to plop down back into the tub. As she reached for her cup, he subconsciously pulled it further back out of her reach. 

“Matthew!”

Snapping out of it, he quickly handed her the glass, and watched as she sunk back under the water. Swallowing, he stood there quietly, just watching her. He was fighting the urge to crawl in with her. 

Glancing back at her movie, Y/n tried to ignore the obvious bulge that was pretty much level with her face. Exposing herself to him was probably playing dirty, but he had kind pissed her off and hurt her feelings by thinking she wouldn’t even make it two whole days out of rehab. He could have simply asked what was in the cup, and she would have handed it to him. 

“How long are you going to stand there? This isn’t Splash. I’m not about to turn into a mermaid.”

Swallowing nervously, he shifted on his feet and apologized again. As he started to turn to leave, Y/n sighed and said, “For fucks sake, sit down. You can watch the movie with me.”

Turning, Matthew had a huge smile on his face and began to pull his shirt over his head. 

“Woo hoo, not in the tub! On the floor!”

Pulling his shirt back down, slumping his shoulders, he pouted and said, “Oh…”

“Not that we could both fit in here, anyways.”

Settling on the floor next to the tub, he said, “Yes we could. Easily!”

“I think you’re delusional. There is absolutely no way we could both fit. I’ve seen the way your long-ass body has to fold to fit comfortably in here. There’s just not enough room for you and all your limbs plus my chunky little body.”

He turned and gave her an annoyed look. “One, your body isn’t chunky, it’s perfect. You have the right padding in the right places. Most men would give their left arm to see a body like yours. And two, who says all my limbs had to be in the tub? Where there’s a will, there is a way, and I can totally find a way for us to both fit in that tub.”

“Comfortably? I don’t think so. You can’t convince me, I’m sorry.”

Standing suddenly, Matthew pulled his shirt over his head and demanded, “Put this on.”

“What? No! What are you doing? If you think you’re coming in this tub, you’re dead wrong.”

Waving the shirt at her, he said with a devilish smile, “Oh I am, and I’m giving you an option to be somewhat decent. Take it or leave it. Trust me when I say, I would prefer if you left it.”

Staring at him in shock, she quickly grabbed the shirt and slipped it over her head. Matthew, in just his slacks, then told her to scoot forward as he sat down in the tub behind her, causing a tidal wave of water and bubbles to slosh over the edge.

“Oh my god! Matthew you’re making the biggest mess!”

Laughing, he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back against his chest while swinging one of his legs over the edge of the tub to give her more room.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll clean it up. I told you we could both fit. Are you comfortable?”

“Well, other than your dick digging into my back, yeah.”

“Well, that’s your consequence for teasing me. Deal with it. Now shush, I want to watch the movie.”

“Fair enough…,” Y/n said as she settled against his chest, lacing her fingers with his hand that rested on her stomach. As they watched the rest of the movie, Matthew added hot water when needed. Once it was over, they rinsed themselves of bubbles in the shower, while Matthew helped Y/n wash her hair. Afterwards, he turned his back to let her strip off his soaking wet t-shirt and into her dry pajamas. Once she was done, Y/n slipped from the room, as Matthew began to clean up the small lake they had created in the bathroom. Y/n returned with some dirty towels to help with, along with a pair of dry boxers and sleep plants and his beloved haunted tshirt. As Matthew changed, she gave him the same respect he gave her and turned her back, soaking up all the water from the floor with her towel. Working together, they had finished cleaning in no time, and they spent the rest of their evening sitting on the couch, drawing and talking, while sharing the remainder of her salt water taffy.


	11. Chapter 11

In the last three weeks, they had transitioned into their new normal. Unfortunately, it left little time for Y/n and Matthew to spend time together. He was either at work or at Vivian’s, and Y/n was at a meeting or out with the new friend she had met there. When they did see each other, it was in passing and he hated it. He missed her. The last time they spent an extended amount of time together, was the night he had ended up in the tub with her. He really needed some time alone, just the two of them.

He had started hanging out at Vivian’s because he just felt weird about having sex with her when Y/n was around. Even if she had told him not to worry about it, he did. He knew if it was him, he would not be able to handle knowing that Y/n was in the next room with another man touching her. 

Not only that, he had also sensed that Vivian had become a little insecure with Y/n’s return. She was clearly feeling hostility toward Y/n, so Matthew wanted to try and put some distance between the two. It had become clear to him just two days after the night in the bathtub. There was a confrontation that involved Y/n eating pizza with her mouth open, pretty much how she always ate. He had walked in the room just in time to hear Vivian pretty much verbally drag Y/n for it. True to her form, Y/n then opened her mouth and showed Vivian all her chewed up food, causing his girlfriend to lose it.

Matthew had to admit that Vivian had kind of pissed him off. Y/n’s eating habits have never bothered him. In fact, it had always been one of her little odd quirks that he has always found endearing. But when he had to step in, he tried to remain neutral, which only made both of the girls mad. So they started going to Vi’s to avoid issues and arguments between his girlfriend and the woman he loved. So far, it seemed to be working. Vivian had calmed down and he didn’t have to play referee.

Then there was Ziggy, the friend that Y/n had made at her meetings. When there was time here or there to spend with each other, she was always on her phone, smiling and laughing. He noticed the first time they attempted to have a movie night and she wouldn’t get off her phone. He knew he didn’t have the right to be upset, but he may have let it get to him, so he turned off the movie and went to his room. She was allowed to move on just like he did, but he still didn’t like it. 

At first, he thought Ziggy was a girl. He knew that Y/n had been with women in the past and he guessed that if she was going to be with someone, he could stomach the idea of a woman better than a man. She hadn’t been too forthcoming about Ziggy. Just that they met at her AA meetings, and that they were both recovering alcoholics. Apparently, Ziggy had just hit their one year mark, which had motivated Y/n to someday get to that goal, herself. He was happy she found someone she could spend time with when he wasn’t around, but he still couldn’t help the jealousy he was feeling.

When he came home that evening, he had hoped to be able to spend some one on one time with Y/n, only to discover the truth about Ziggy. He had been missing her and Vivian was going to be out of town the next three days, filming a small part in an indie film, allowing Matthew to finally have the time to bond with Y/n. The fall season was upon them and he knew she enjoyed it just as much as he did. He was hoping that they could decorate the apartment and watch some scary movies, maybe even carve some pumpkins.

However, his planning and daydreaming came to a halt when he walked into the apartment to find Y/n and who he could only assume to be Ziggy, cuddling on the couch, sharing a gallon of ice cream. To his surprise, Ziggy was not the small, yet masculine girl he was imagining, but a tall skinny white guy, with long black hair and a goatee. He was covered in tattoos and gave off a weird hippie rocker vibe. He also looked to be in his mid thirties. 

Turning around while looking over the back of the couch, Y/n smiled, climbing onto her knees and excitedly held out her arms and called out Matthew’s name. “Matthew, oh my god! You’re home! I thought for sure you wouldn’t be back this weekend. You should come meet Ziggy!” She was excited to see him home and without Vivian. It had felt like they had really drifted apart in the past couple of weeks and she really missed him. 

Matthew, however, just waved at them and gave a half-hearted smile. “Hey man, nice to meet you. I’m sorry Y/n, I’m kinda tired,” He then disappeared into his room. Lowering her arms disappointedly, she pouted and looked over at Ziggy, who just shrugged and said, “I don’t know. You tell me. But, I can definitely see why you’re so hung up on that boy. He is quite the snack.”

She smacked his arm and scowled to herself, saying, “I’ll be right back.” Getting up, she headed to Matthew’s room and knocked on the door. When he didn’t answer, she got a little pissed off and opened the door and let herself in.

Matthew was sitting on his bed in his pajamas with headphones on and his sketch journal in his lap. Walking up to him, she snatched his headphones off his head and said, “What’s your fucking problem? You were so rude out there! I’ve been going on and on about how cool you were and now you’re being an ass. Don’t tell me you’re tired. I can tell when you’re tired. You sir, are being a little shit.” She tossed the headphones on the bed next to him and cut him off before he could start talking, “And don’t say you couldn’t hear me. Those headphones are shit. I know, I gave them to you.”

Matthew gave her an annoyed look, “Nothing is wrong. And maybe, I am just tired… You know what? No, maybe I actually made a point to be here and hang out with you tonight, but when I get here, you're all cozy with some guy. This is me giving you space.” Picking up the headphones and shaking them, he continued, “This is me trying to block out any noises that come from your bedroom tonight.”

“Oh my god! So this is about Ziggy? Could you be any more childish? Nothing was even happening. Never in my life has a carton of rocky road and The Jungle Book led to a wild, crazy, sexy night.”

“Then, if nothing is happening, why didn’t you tell me Ziggy was a guy?”

“Why did you assume he was a girl?”

“Now you’re just dodging my question.”

“Okay… maybe because I was worried you would act like this! Which, by the way, is fucked up! You have a girlfriend! Not to mention, it doesn’t matter that Ziggy is a guy, because he loves dick just as much as I do.”

“Don’t bring the fact that I’m dat- Wait, did you just say he likes dick?”

“Yes, you moron. He is gay! He has zero interest in my lady parts. So maybe you should cool your shit.”

Matthew looked embarrassed, but then he made a face like something had dawned on him and he looked even more upset then before. Standing up from the bed, he towered over Y/n. “All that shit you said about me not being replaceable, and here you are replacing me.”

“What? Have you lost it? How am I replacing you?”

“He’s your new best friend now. You’re always with him and I just found you cuddled on the couch with him. You only used to do that with me. You-“

“First off, you are almost never home. You’re either at work or with Vivian. I was lonely! What was I supposed to do? Sit around the apartment, going stir crazy and hoping you might decide to grace me with your presence? Second, I was feeling isolated and like I was about to slip, so I went to some meetings and I met Ziggy. He understands what it’s like to hit rock bottom. How hard it is to live in fear of losing control and hitting it again. The fear that the next time you won’t even care enough to not just stay there, or worse that it will kill you,” Y/n said, cutting off Matthew. She stared at him unblinkingly, daring him to say something. 

“I told you, you could talk to me. Why didn’t you?” he asked, in a softer voice.

Laughing to herself, Y/n shook her head and looked away from him. Sighing, she said, “Because… I don’t know. You weren’t around. It was like, after that night in the bathroom, you just disengaged and disappeared. I wasn’t sure if we had taken it too far. I was scared we were getting too comfortable and that… maybe that’s why you pulled away. Also, I didn’t want to look like I was jealous, because I’m not… well… okay, maybe a little, but not enough to act out on it and try to lure you back because I’m feeling fucking lonely. I’m not replacing you… just filling the hole in my life you left.”

Matthew gave Y/n a sad look and tentatively reached out and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to leave you alone all the time. I wasn’t trying to pull away from you, I promise,” he gave her a cheeky smile and continued, “Trust me, I would get in the tub with you everyday, always. Whether I was with Vivian or not. I’m not really sure what that says about me as a person, but that’s not the point. The point is that I was trying to keep the peace. I realized that Vivian was feeling a little jealous and she kept popping off at you. I didn’t know what else to do, but I will do better, I promise.”

Tightening her hold around Matthew’s waist, Y/n nuzzled her head against his chest and drew in the faded scent of his cologne. “Do you want to come finish the movie with me and Ziggy? I really think you’ll like him. He is really cool. Please?” she asked, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes.

Matthew smiled down at her and nodded his head. “I would love to. So… The Jungle Book. Please tell me I haven’t missed The Bear Necessities. I love that song.”

Giggling, Y/n grabbed his hand and led him out the door. “Nope, but we are almost there. Oh, I’m pretty sure, you have some mint chocolate chip in the freezer!”

“Yessss,” he said, pumping his fist in the air. 

Laughing, Y/n pushed him toward the couch and said, “Sit. You’ve been working all day. I’ll get your ice cream and a spoon. And you,” she said pointing at Ziggy and narrowing her eyes, “Hands off.”

“Sweetie, that’s all yours,” Ziggy said, giving Matthew an up and down look. “Though he is tempting.”

Matthew’s eyes widened, and he chuckled nervously before holding his hand out and saying, “Sorry about earlier. I may have misunderstood the situation and, as Y/n said, was being a little shit.”

Ziggy took his hand and said, “No worries. I’m known for my bitchiness, as well. So what did she have to do to turn that frown upside down?” He gave Matthew a smirk and wagged his eyebrows.

Matthew just laughed and said, “Sadly, we don’t do those kinds of things anymore. Also, I have a girlfriend so it would be a big no-no. We just talked it out. She’s good like that.”

“So how does your girlfriend feel about the couch hump and the bathtub cuddles? Not to mention the various snogs sprinkled in here and there?”

Blushing, Matthew shook his head, “She told you?!” then as Y/n walked into the room he said, “You told him?!”

“I told who...what?” she asked, stopping dead in her tracks with a deer-in-headlights look on her face.

“About the tub… and lip wars… oh, and the dirty, dirty bump and grind that occurred on this very couch,” Ziggy informed her as he smiled naughtily and rubbed the couch cushion, seductively.

“God dammit, Ziggy! Shhhh,” she said, putting her index finger to her lips. Causing him to curl in on himself and giggle gleefully.

“Don’t mind him. He is nothing but a shit-starter and a gossip,” Y/n said, smacking her friend as she passed by and plopped down next to Matthew, practically in his lap.

Without a second thought, he put his arm over her shoulder and took the spoon she offered him and waited for her to open the carton. Putting a spoon full in his mouth, he hummed and then said, “Remind me to never let Vi meet him then.”

“Oh, no worries Pretty Boy, I would never put my girl on blast like that. Though I doubt I’d be spilling many beans. I mean look at you two,” he said, gesturing at them. “Clearly, you’re both idiots. It’s only a matter of time before you both can’t resist it anymore and you fuck. Matthew, I’ve known you all of ten minutes and it’s already clear you love Y/n and not your girlfriend. That’s why you got so upset when you thought I was dicking her.”

“Ziggy, my man, you’re singing to the choir. I’m not the wrench in this cluster fuck,” he said, pointing at Y/n with his spoon.

“Excuse me! Will you two stop?! Okay, so maybe I’m the one who said we couldn’t date, but I have a good reason. I’m way too fucked up to be dating right now. So can we just stop and watch the movie already?”

Ziggy and Matthew shared a look while Ziggy hit play.

As it started, Matthew nuzzled into Y/n’s ear and whispered, “By the way, you have me all to yourself for the next three days.”

Y/n beamed up at him and kissed him on the cheek.

“Oh yeah… just friends... Pfft,” mumbled Ziggy, from the other side of the couch. 

She was right, Ziggy was pretty cool. He was glad she made a friend she could relate with.

******

That next morning, Y/n was awoken by the sound of the alarm on Matthew’s phone. Once again, they had fallen asleep on the couch. She was laying down with her head in his lap, and he was still technically sitting, but just slumped over to the side. His back was going to be killing him today. He stirred as she reached up and wiped the drool from his face. As he awoke fully, he hisses as he straightened, causing Y/n to chuckle, sleepily. 

Groaning, he said, “We really need to figure out how to make it to the bed.”

“You mean our respective beds.”

“Says the beautiful girl who has yet to remove her head from my very numb thigh.”

“ Touché,” yawned Y/n, sitting up and stretching.

Matthew turned off his alarm, while he watched Y/n raise her arms and arch her back. She was incredibly sexy in the morning. As she stretched, her shirt rode up, exposing her abdomen. What he wouldn’t give to be inside of her. Groaning, he asked, “What are my chances of talking you into getting in the shower with me?”

Scowling, she turned and looked at him like he was stupid, but said nothing. Matthew sighed, stood up from the couch, and adjusted his morning wood. He then stretched and said, “Yeah, I figured that would be your answer. Can’t blame me for trying.”

“I’m sure Vivian would,” she said, giving him a look.

Matthew just pouted, “Well, obviously we wouldn’t tell her. Only you and I would know… oh and Ziggy. Seeing as how you seem to tell him everything. Wait… where is Ziggy?”

Y/n just chuckled and stood up, pulling out her phone. “He probably just lef- Oh… that ass. He took a picture of us and texted it to my phone.”

Matthew reached over and pulled her hand in front of him so he could see her phone. He smiled and shook his head, laughing. Letting go of her hand, he chose to squeeze past her, stopping to drop a quick kiss on the top of her messy hair and headed to his room. “Send that to me,” he said, over his shoulder as he disappeared through the door.

Y/n forwarded the photo to Matthew while walking into the kitchen to start the coffee pot. Waiting for it to brew, she sliced two bagels and put them in the toaster oven. Matthew came into the kitchen, dressed. 

“Do I smell coffee and everything bagels?”

“I thought you were going to shower?”

Shrugging, he said, “Didn’t really need one. Just wanted to see you wet and naked. Now it just sounds too lonely of an activity. I’d rather sit in here and have breakfast with you.” He just smiled at Y/n’s shocked expression. 

“Wha- what has gotten into you this morning?”

Shrugging again, he pulled the bagels out of the toaster oven and placed them onto plates. “I don’t know.. You’re just really sexy this morning.” He then licked his lips as he dragged his eyes down her body and then back up, locking them with her’s. He then gave her a flirty smirk and wagged his eyebrows up at her.

“No Sir, turn those eyes right back to your bagel. Not gonna happen. Shit, someone woke up on the horny side of the couch today.”

With a smirk, he turned back to his breakfast and began to spread cream cheese onto his bagel. As Y/n grabbed hers and started to prepare it as well, Matthew said, slowly, “You know… I would much rather be spreading something other than this bagel.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her stop just as she was about to swipe cream cheese on her food. Dropping the butter knife on her plate, Y/n stepped away from the counter. Throwing up her hands, she said, “Oh my god, I just can’t with you this morning. I’m gonna go get dressed, have a good day.” She then grabbed her cup and started to leave the kitchen. 

Matthew quickly blocked her and said, “I’m sorry, I’ll stop. I actually wanted to ask you if you would like to come to the set with me today. We can hang out between filming and you can visit Kathryn.”

“As fun as that actually sounds, I can’t. I have a therapy appointment at the center. Then I was going to run to that one little art store and get some oil paints and a new easel. Mine is all wobbly. I need some more canvases as well. Anything you need while I’m there?”

Matthew pouted, and said, “I guess a new pack of charcoal.” Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out his wallet and handed her his card. “Just put everything on that.”

“What? No! It’s going to be really expensive. I can’t use your money.”

“Yes you can, because I’m telling you to. Plus, I’ll probably end up using most of the shit you’re buying, anyway. Please, I want to buy you art supplies.”

Y/n hummed, then said, “Okay, fine. I’ll see you tonight then?”

“Definitely, did you want to go out and eat? We are just finishing up some scenes today, so I shouldn’t be too late.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. I'm gonna go change and get ready. Have a good day,” then she left for her room.

“You too,” he called out to her as she walked away. Hearing her door shut, he pulled out his phone and opened the text she had just sent him. In the picture, they were both sound asleep with her head on his thigh and their fingers tightly woven together, resting on her abdomen. They both had peaceful smiles on their face. It was his new favorite picture of them. Sliding his phone back in his pocket, he quickly finished his breakfast and headed out to work.

*****

After her therapy appointment and her trip to the art store, Y/n’s Uber dropped her off at home and she lugged all her goodies to the elevator. When she exited, she saw Ziggy about to knock on her door. “Hey, Zig! Give me a hand!” 

Turning, he rushed over and relieved Y/n of her three canvases. “Someone was busy today.”

“Yeah, my supplies were running low. So, what’s up? What do I owe the pleasure of your presence?”

“I was just gonna see if you wanted to get out the apartment and get some coffee, but since you’ve already been running around, we could just hang out.”

“Actually, coffee doesn’t sound too bad. We can just dump all this in the apartment and then head out again if you want. I was actually thinking about getting some for Matthew and surprising him at the studio. He asked me to go in with him this morning, but I had a therapy appointment. Kathryn is there, you want to come with me?”

“Sure, cutie. I’m down. So, did you get my picture? You two are so sweet, my teeth hurt.”

“Yes, I got it. You know, some would say that it’s creepy to take pictures of others when they are sleeping,” Y/n said laughing, as she dumped her shopping bags on the couch.

Ziggy propped the canvases against the back of the couch and asked, “Did Matthew think it was creepy?”

“No… he actually had me send him the damn picture.”

Ziggy laughed and said, “That boy loves you. I don’t know why you’re playing games with him. You’re going to fuck around with him for too long and once you want him, it’s going to be too late. Girl, you just get what is yours and tell him to boot the supreme cunt.”

Sighing, Y/n shook her head and said, “No, I can’t do that. I’m only going to end up hurting him.”

“The fuck you will, you think you’re not hurting him now? You keep sending that boy so many mixed signals, I don’t know how his head hasn’t exploded yet.”

“No I am not. I’ve been really clear with him. He understands,” Y/n insisted. “I’m gonna pee really quick and then we can head out,” she said, before disappearing into the bathroom. 

Ziggy just shook his head. He wishes he could just slap some sense into her. 

******

Ziggy parked his car in the studio guest parking while Y/n shot Matthew a text. She wanted to get an idea where he might be, so they would not have to search for him. She had picked up his favorite: the strongest brew with a bit of honey and a splash of heavy cream.

Y/n📱: Hey! What you doing?

Matthew 📱:burritos 🌯 

Y/n📱: lol ☕️☕️??

Matthew 📱: after 🌯

Y/n📱: Don’t get one. I’ll see you in a minute! 😁 

She then sent a selfie of herself holding his coffee outside the studio door.

Matthew 📱: 😲🥺😆😘

Y/n laughed while she slipped her phone in her pocket, as she and Ziggy walked through the door. They didn’t even make it all the way to the food carts, when Matthew came sliding around the corner, excitedly. Rushing to her, he picked her up in a one armed hug, causing him to drop his plate and burrito on the ground. 

“Aww. Shit!”

Y/n giggled at Matthew’s child-like pout and said, “Don’t worry, we’ll get you another one.”

Matthew noticed Ziggy bending down to clean up the spilled food, and said, “Hey Ziggy! Don’t worry about that man, I’ll get it.”

“No sweat, Sexy. I got it. You two just keep snuggling. It’s adorable.”

Realizing he still had his arm around Y/n’s waist and was holding her to his body, Matthew let go, stepping back and quietly apologized. 

Y/n just chuckled and said, “It’s okay, here, I got you some coffee.”

Smiling, Matthew took the cup from Y/n and said , “Thank you! You’re really the best. Are you guys hungry?”

Standing up, Ziggy threw the spoiled burrito in a nearby trash can and said, “No, I’m good, but if you can point me in the direction to Kathryn, I’ll leave you two lovebirds. Give you some alone time.” He gave them a flirty smile, batting his eyelashes and then blew them a kiss.

Matthew started laughing as Y/n rolled her eyes and pointed down a hall, and said, “If you go down that hall, it’s going to be the fourth door on your left. It says ‘props’ above the door. You can’t miss it.”

“Okay, thanks Sweetheart, I’ll catch up with you in a little bit. Try not to leave too many bruises on the boy. We don’t want him to have to go to make-up to cover them all up.”

“You- get!” Y/n said, as she playfully kicked at her friend’s fleeing, laughing form. “My god, he just doesn’t know when to stop,” she said, shaking her head.

“I think he’s kinda funny,” Matthew said, chuckling behind his coffee cup. 

Y/n started walking in the direction of the food trucks and said to Matthew, as he started to follow her, “That’s just because he is rooting for you.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t hurt,” he said, after puckering his lips and nodding his head. As they stood in line, Matthew sipped his coffee and kept stealing sideways glances at Y/n.

Y/n was trying her best to ignore Matthew’s puppy dog eyes. She knew he wanted her to do something or ask her a question. Either way, it was making her nervous. Also, she was having a hard time with the fact that he was absolutely delicious in his glasses and Spencer clothes. It would be a lie if she said she never had a roleplay fantasy involving Matthew being dressed as Spencer. In fact, last time she got herself off, that was the main theme in her head. Finally having enough, she sighed and said, “What? What do you want?”

“What? I can’t just enjoy the view? You look really beautiful today. Not that you're not beautiful every day, but something is different today.” Reaching over he lightly tugged on her French braid. “Maybe it’s this.”

“Well… you’re not supposed to be enjoying the view. The view isn’t for you… but, thank you.”

“Who is the view for, then?” he asked with an edge to his voice.

Turning her head to look at him, she crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow, “No one in particular. Just not for you.”

Matthew made an angry frog face, and then stepped up the cart and said, “Hey man, can I get another burrito? I dropped mine,” then turning to her, he snipped, “What did you want.”

Y/n just looked at Matthew for a moment, before turning to the young guy behind the cart and leaning against the edge to give him a good view down her shirt. “Hey, how's your day going?” she asked in a flirty tone, and giggled when he responded back just as flirtatiously. “Hmm, I think I would like… is the steak quesadilla any good?” She smiled her biggest, brightest smile at the poor chump. She was just trying to prove a point to Matthew, what that point was, she wasn’t sure, but she was doing it anyway.

After ordering her quesadilla, she and Matthew step to the side to wait for their food, and let the next person order. When she looked over at Matthew, she saw that he was fuming. The vein in his forehead was popping out, his neck was all red, and he was clenching his jaw. He wouldn’t even look at her. He was almost reminding her of that horrible night at the bar. Chewing on her lip, she was starting to worry she had made a big mistake.

Matthew was pissed. How dare she do that. In front of him, no less. He had been very clear to her that he cannot handle the idea of other men touching her. He knows he can’t stop it from happening, but she doesn’t have to rub that shit in his face. He was going to have to show her what will happen if she keeps fucking with him. When their names were called, they collected their food from the same asshole that took their order. He seemed confused, however, when he tried to flirt with Y/n again and she wouldn’t even give him two seconds of her time. She was fully focused on him. Good! That’s how it should be.

With his food in hand, he quickly walked away, knowing she would follow. He was headed to his trailer. They were about to need a few moments of privacy. He was purposefully taking long, fast strides so Y/n would have to practically run to keep up. 

“Matthew, don’t be this way. It was only a joke. I wasn’t even serious. Matth-,” she was cut off as soon as they entered the trailer. Matthew snatched her food container and tossed it onto the counter, then he quickly spun and picked Y/n up by her waist. Matthew then carried her to the small dining table and roughly deposited her on top. Without warning, he reached behind her head and took hold of her braid, yanking her head back, giving him better access to her neck. Without hesitation, he started to bite and suck along her neck and throat. He was being anything but gentle. The only way she could describe his actions was possessive. He was trying to make his own point now, and god, did it feel good. 

The sounds that he was pulling from her were driving him crazy. He was incredibly hard and he just wanted to push her denim skirt around her waist and her panties to the side and really show her what they could be. But that would defeat the point he was trying to make. He planned to get her right to the point of caving, then stepping away to let her stew. 

Y/n couldn’t take anymore. She just needed him. She had a hand in his hair and her other digging into his back. His hand, that wasn’t holding her braid, had a firm grasp on her thigh. When he finally let go of her braid, he slipped his hand up her skirt and roughly pressed the tips of his fingers to the moist fabric of her panties. 

Finding her clit, Matthew started to quickly rub her through the cotton, causing Y/n to first gasp and throw back her head, moaning his name. When she started to rotate her hips to increase the friction, he knew he had won. He quickly removed both his hands from her body, causing her to whine and try to grab for his pants. He roughly caught both her wrists, leaning in close to her face and waited for the frenzied haze to fade from her eyes. He then smiled angrily, and said, “You will never fucking do that in front of me again. I don’t like thinking about other men touching you.” He then let go of Y/n, collected his food, and sat down at the table to quietly eat. 

Y/n was in shock. Matthew had never done anything like that before, but she had to admit, he really got her going. She was so incredibly frustrated right now. Her skin was hot and her clit wouldn’t stop throbbing. She swallowed and licked her lips as she slid off the top of the table and stood there awkwardly, not sure if she should just take her food box and eat with him, or if he wanted her to leave. 

As though he could read her thoughts, Matthew said, “Sit. Eat.”

Y/n collected her food and sat across from Matthew and began to eat. They ate quietly for a moment, before Matthew spoke, almost as if he didn’t almost fuck her stupid.

“Hey, did you go to the art store?”

“Umm… yeah. I got a couple of things. Oh, here,” she pulled out her wallet and slid his card across the table. Just as she was about to pull back her hand, Matthew grabbed it, causing her to jump a little. But he gave her a gentle smile, leaned forward and kissed her hand.

Now that he had calmed down, Matthew felt bad about what he had done. Especially after seeing the mess he made of her neck. It was now covered in visible hickeys and bite marks. Y/n had just made him so jealous. He couldn’t help, but feel like she was his. Even if she wasn’t. Feeling like he needed to apologize and explain, he said “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I was totally out of line. It’s just… the thought of you letting that guy touch you, or even you letting him think he could... got me so mad. The way he was looking at you… I-,”

“Matthew, stop. I shouldn’t have done that. I was trying to get under your skin. I guess I didn’t realize how far under it I was going to get. You’ve just been really forward today and I guess I got a little defensive after what you said when we were in line. I’m trying my best to create boundaries so that you and I can continue to be friends, but when you say the things you’ve been saying all day, it’s hard for me not to give in.”

“What do you mean when you say ‘continue to be friends?’ Am I in danger of losing you that way, too?” 

She could see the concern in his face and she sighed. “No, it’s just… I’m trying to be respectful to your relationship with Vivian. You’re making it really hard. I understand you would rather it be a different way, but I’m not ready for that. I don’t know if I ever will be. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. It just means… I don’t know what it means. I do know that I’m not ready for it though.”

They sat in silence for a while after that. Then Matthew asked, “Are you using Ziggy as a social bumper between us, while Vi is gone? Because I was hoping that we could spend some time together just us…. as friends.”

“No, he just happened to be knocking on our door when I got home from the store. He wanted to know if I wanted to get some coffee, and seeing as I had already planned to surprise you, I figured why not. Catching a ride with Ziggy was cheaper and easier than getting my third Uber of the day. Anyways, I thought you liked Ziggy.”

“Oh, no I do. He’s cool, it’s just.. like I said, I wanted to spend time with you this weekend. You know you could have used my card to pay for your Ubers, right? I wouldn’t have minded.”

“I know, but I don’t mind paying for it. So… what did you have in mind for this weekend?”

“Well, first I thou-,” Matthew started to tell Y/n of his plans only to be cut off when the both were startled when his trailer door flew open.

“Shit, Ziggy! You gave me a heart attack!” 

“Sorry, beautiful. Someone said they say you two come in here. You weren’t answering your phone. Oh girl! Now I see why,” Ziggy turned to Matthew and said, “I should have told you not to leave bruises on her. Oh, I can't wait to hear what happened here!” Ziggy was smiling back and forth between his friends, but Y/n was glaring at Matthew and he was pulling his lips back in a grimace.

“Oh… oooh, I swear to god, Gubler! I’m so gonna kick your skinny ass!” Y/n then shot up from her seat and ran into the trailer's small restroom. The boys shared a look of worry when Y/n started yelling.

“You motherfucker! Are you fucking kidding me?” Y/n yelled as she stomped out of the restroom. 

Matthew swallowed and quickly stood as Y/n was heading straight for him. He raised his hands up in surrender and said, “I know! I know! I said I was sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking!”

“You may as well have peed on me like I was a fire hydrant.”

“It’s not that bad… you just need some concealer.”

After watching Y/n and Matthew go back and forth like a tennis match, Ziggy piped in and said, “Oh, but it is that bad. She looks like a slutty cheerleader on prom night.”

“See… slutty cheerleader! How am I supposed to walk out on set now? Everyone will know you did it!”

Matthew couldn’t help but smirk at the slutty cheerleader thing.

“I’m glad you think this is funny. Tell me, Matthew… how funny will it be when your GIRLFRIEND comes home and my neck still looks like this?”

The smirk fell from his face and he looked worried for a moment. “FUUUCK!” 

“Yeah… yeah. You didn’t think about that, did you, Chuckles? Let’s just hope it fades in time and my concealer is strong enough to hide what is there. Hey Zig, can you go out to your car and grab my bag?”

“Sure thing, cuteness,” he said, before turning to Matthew and looking him up and down, chuckling. “Kinky!” He then hurried out the trailer, leaving behind a very red and embarrassed Matthew.

Y/n could see how bad Matthew was feeling now and sighed. Walked over, she wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his chest. “It’s okay… I was just shocked. Sorry I yelled.” He wrapped his arms around her as well and apologized one more time.

That was how Ziggy found them when he returned. Matthew was slouched down and had his mouth and nose buried in Y/n’s hair at the top of her head, and she had her ear pressed to his chest with a small smile on her face. They were gently swaying back and forth. They hadn’t even noticed that he was back. Clearing his throat, he dropped her bag on the counter and watched them quickly pull away from each other.

Y/n picked up her bag and pulled out her makeup pouch. Walking back to the bathroom, she made quick work of covering up Matthew’s marks. As upset as she had initially been, part of her hated to cover them and actually liked looking at them. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little flattered by his need to mark her as his own. But, another part of her felt guilty, because he should be marking up his girlfriend and not her.

She wasn’t stupid. She knew he would never take his relationship with Vivian seriously while she was around. And she felt bad, because Matthew was horrible about hiding how he felt about her and Vivian has definitely noticed. She sometimes wondered if it was time to find her own place. She didn’t want to, but if she did, then maybe she and Matthew could escape some of the sexual tension that seems to surround them. He would also have a fighting chance at moving on and really focusing on his relationship, as much as that thought pained her. When Matthew started spending more time at Vivian’s, it had hurt at first, but then she found a way to cope when she met Ziggy. He was what she needed at that moment in her life. A friend that understood what she was going though, also someone she could playfully flirt with, without the worry of actual romantic feelings developing. 

Speaking of the devil, Ziggy tapped on the open door, pulling her attention to him. “How is the painting going?”

Turning, she tilted her head back and moved it left and right, presenting her neck and said, “I don’t know. You tell me?”

Taking her blender, Ziggy smoothed out a couple of lines and said, “You’re perfection as always. So… you going to tell me how the hell that even happened?!”

Y/n leaned out the bathroom door to see if Matthew was listening. Seeing that he was on his phone, she quietly said, “It’s my fault. I started flirting with the burrito boy and he got madly jealous. He wouldn’t talk to me and I followed him here, but once we got inside, he went all possessive-caveman on me. Practically threw me onto the table and this all happened,” she indicated to her neck. 

“Wow, little sexy got him a jealous streak.”

“Yeah, you could say that. I don’t think he normally would. Like, if we were together. I think it's more of a ‘he can’t have me, but neither can anyone else’ thing. He said he can’t stand the thought of another man touching me. He knows it could happen, he just doesn’t want to see or hear about it.”

“Hmm, well good luck with that one honey. Anyways, I was gonna head out to the meeting. Do you want to come with or hang out with the sucker fish?”

Laughing, Y/n shook her head and said, “No, Matthew and I already have dinner plans. I think I’ll catch tomorrow’s meeting and hang with my sucker fish.”

They walked out to the main area of the trailer and Matthew looked up from his phone, putting it face down on the table. Standing, he examined Y/n’s neck and saw she was able to cover his handy work. “Thank god for concealer.”

“Yes, you’re lucky I don’t have to kick your butt,” she said, jokingly with a smile. 

Shaking his head, Ziggy chuckled and leaned over and kissed Y/n on the cheek and said, “Bye girl!” He then patted Matthew on the back and headed out for his meeting.

Matthew watched the door close and then turned to Y/n and asked, “You’re not going with him?”

“I mean, I wasn’t planning on it. I thought we had dinner plans. He’s heading to a meeting. I just figured I’d hang with you and we could leave when you were done filming.”

“Oh, yeah. That sounds good. I guess I just figured that after...” he gestured to her neck and the table, then continued, “That our plans might have changed.”

Y/n pulled her brows together and pouted, shaking her head and said, “No… I mean, you said you wanted to spend time together and we both need to eat dinner at some point. Honestly, I don’t think you and I have ever just gone to a restaurant and ate together before.”

Matthew chuckled, “you know, I think you’re right. Well, I only have like two scenes left for the day, and then we should be good to go. Any idea what you might be hankering for?” he asked, opening the trailer door for her. 

As they walked into the studio, they discussed their plans for later. Matthew had completely forgotten his phone, and the conversation he was having with Vivian.

******

Matthew had spent a good part of his morning arguing over text with Vi. She was upset that he had left her on read until he woke up that morning. He had also failed to answer three of her calls seeing as though his phone had died before they even left the studio. He tried to explain that he forgot his phone in his trailer, and that he was filming. He told her his phone had also died and when she asked why he didn’t plug it in when he got home, he told her he had gone out to eat with some coworkers after work. Which wasn’t a lie, seeing as Kathryn had informed Y/n that if she felt ready, she was cleared to return to work on Monday. So technically, Y/n was his coworker again. He was able to eventually calm her down and get off his phone. 

He had been tempted to wake Y/n after, but he decided he would let her sleep in a bit while he took a bath and then cooked them some breakfast. He also wanted to dig out all his Fall and Halloween decorations, so he and Y/n could get their home in the spirit of the season. He would usually have his home decorated by now, but he had been spending so much time at Vivian’s, he hadn’t gotten a chance and it was leaving him a little blue.

Once he was in the tub, he couldn’t help but think about the day before. He had so many mixed feelings about what happened in his trailer the previous day. Part of him was kind of ashamed of his behavior, but another still got incredibly turned on just thinking about it. That part of him regrets not taking it further. He knew that she would have let it happen. Once she had started rolling her hips, it was over for her. Most of all, he wished he had taken the time to taste her. 

Closing his eyes, he laid back in the warm water of his bath and wrapped his long fingers around his hardened cock. Closing his eyes, he moaned Y/n’s name as he saw her behind his eyelids, writhing on the table-top with his head between her thighs. Slowly, he moved his hand up and down and his breathing increased. He could almost taste her on his tongue and feel her nails scraping his scalp. He could hear the sounds of her breathy gasps, and his name on her lips. As he imagined stretching her out with his fingers, he quickened the pace of his strokes. He was getting closer and couldn’t help but pump his hips as he concentrated his focus on the head of his cock. 

“Ahhh… fuck….fuuuck…. Y/n, shit,” Matthew moaned as he shot cum across his stomach and chest. “Fuck…,” he moaned one last time, as his breathing slowed down. 

Once he had calmed down, he wrinkled his face in disgust as he saw the mess he made, of not only himself, but his bath water, too. Sighing, he drained his tub and finished washing under the shower head. He decided he wanted it to be a comfortable day, so he slipped into some flannel sleep pants and an old t-shirt. Padding into the kitchen, Matthew opened the fridge to see what he could make for breakfast. Y/n was usually the one who made their breakfast, even if it was just toast or a bagel, but he wanted to go all out. If this morning's argument with Vivian had proven anything to him, it was that he needed to use these next two days to try and convince Y/n she was ready to start a life with him. He just could not picture himself with Vivian forever. She could never come close to a substitute for who he really wanted. So he was going to get Y/n to cave. 

Pulling out eggs, bacon, butter, and milk, Matthew laid everything on the counter. He was going to make his grandmother’s famous French toast and serve Y/n breakfast in bed. As he collected everything else he would need, he turned on the kitchen radio and got to work.

*****

“Want to see a magic trick,” Matthew asked her, wearing nothing but a top hat.

“Is it real magic?”

Matthew just smiled at her and somehow they were now both undressed and in her bed.

“Wow, that was amazing! How did you do that?”

Matthew just chuckled and whispered in her ear, “Silly girl, that wasn’t the trick.” 

Suddenly, Matthew pulled the sheet over their head, and as it covered them, it turned into the night sky. Her bed was now sitting in a field of beautiful wild flowers and they were laying beneath a clear starry night. As Matthew settled between her legs, Y/n noticed fireflies all around. 

“Did you like the trick?” he asked, close to her ear, as he slid within her. 

“It’s so beautiful,” she gasped, as she wrapped her arms and legs around Matthew’s body. Her eyes wanted to close with the pleasure he was giving her, but he was worried that if she did, it would all disappear.

“Not as beautiful as you, though!”

As they rocked gently together, she heard a sizzle and smelled the smell of bacon. As she pulled away, to ask if he could smell it, they were suddenly sitting fully dressed in a diner, eating the biggest pile of bacon she had ever seen.

“We worked up and appetite,” Matthew chuckled.

“How did we ge-,” Y/n woke with a start. Her room smelled of coffee and bacon and the sound of Matthew cursing somewhere within the apartment.

Rolling out of bed, she slipped on a pair of sweatpants and wandered out into the hallway. It smelled so good that her nose led her to the kitchen, where she found Matthew running his hand underwater. 

“What happened? You okay?” y/n asked, wandering over to him.

Matthew startled, but then pouted when he saw Y/n up and about. “Noooo, I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed.”

Y/n eyes widened and she smiled brightly. She then spun and scurried back to her room and shut the door. Once she was there she got back under the covers and waited. She had never been served breakfast in bed before.

When Y/n started to hurry back to her room, Matthew beamed and quickly got the tray together. Once everything was in order, he very carefully carried it to her room. Gently placing it on a bookshelf, he opened Y/n’s door and retrieved the tray, bringing it into her room. He almost dropped it when he saw her pretending to be asleep. She was too fucking cute sometimes.

When Y/n heard Matthew outside her door, she flopped down onto the bed and started to obnoxiously snore. She could hear his quiet chuckle and peeked one eye open to see him smiling at her from the side of the bed. She giggled as she sat up and clapped her hands excitedly. 

“What did you make me?”

Setting the tray down over her lap, Matthew replied, “I made you French toast, bacon, fried eggs, a banana, and some coffee. Enjoy that bacon, I’ll have you know it fought back.

Laughing at his pout, she asked, “Oh no! Do I need to kiss it better?”

Smiling again, Matthew held out his hand and pointed with his other where to kiss. Leaning forward, she brushed her lips gently against the red welt on his hand and smiled at him gently.

“Mmm, where to start,” Y/n said, looking at all the delicious food in front of her.

“Well, the French toast is my grandma’s recipe. Made with cinnamon, nutmeg, and love,” Matthew informed her, crawling across the foot of her bed and scooted up to lay on his side, next to her.

“Sold, so is it the same grandma that started your life long dedication to mismatched socks?” she asked as she started to cut into the toast. When Y/n put the bite into her mouth, she closed her eyes and moaned. “Oh my god, that is so good,” she said around her food, causing Matthew to chuckle.

“I’m glad you like it, and yes. The very same, magical woman.” He reached over and took a piece of bacon, popping it in his mouth. 

“So, what made you decide to make me this wonderful spread before me?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Matthew simply said, “Love.”

Y/n just hummed in response to his declaration and continued to eat. It was the second time in the last five minutes he had implied he loved her. Clearly the conversation they had yesterday was already forgotten. She let it go then. She didn’t want to ruin this moment. 

As she ate, they sat quietly. Matthew would occasionally steal tidbits from the tray. 

“So, I thought we could decorate the apartment for Halloween. It’s really depressing that I haven’t decorated yet.”

Smiling, Y/n took her last bite of toast. Placing the tray on her bedside table, Y/n swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stretched. She could feel Matthew shifting on the mattress behind her, but she just assumed he was just getting out of her bed. That was until she felt his body press into her back and his arms wrap around her waist and his legs framing her own. She had froze mid stretch, with her arms raised, but as his warm hand swept over the exposed skin of her stomach, she pulled her arms down and covered his hands with hers. “Matthew,” she warned, only it came out more of a moan than a warning. 

Smiling when he heard her voice, Matthew felt encouraged to push further. Leaning in closer to her, he allowed his fingertips to slip beneath the waistband of her pants, while his other hand moved north and came to rest on her rib cage just below her breast. He could feel her hips slightly rock, as her breathing started to increase. He nuzzled his nose behind her ear and moaned. “You always smell so good. I imagine it’s what heaven smells like. I’ve already touched myself to you today and I’m already hard for you again.” He ground his dick into her soft, round backside, as if to prove his words. A shaky gasp slipped from her lips in response and he pressed his lips to her neck. As he trailed wet, open-mouthed kisses along the marks he left the day before he begged, “Please… Baby…. Let me make up for yesterday… I want to see you cum… please sweetheart. You don’t know how bad I need it. Do you want to cum, Y/n?”

Y/n couldn’t think. The feel of his cock grinding into her, his mouth on her neck and his hands, that have found their desired locations. The harder he rubbed her clit, the harder she rocked her hips, the harder he ground into her ass. As he lifted her shirt, exposing her breasts, his groans sent chills down her spine, causing her to tremble. She let her head fall back onto his shoulder as Matthew gently bit down where her neck and shoulder met. 

“God, I love your tits. So fucking perfect. You need to answer me, baby. Tell me what you want. If you don’t, I’m not going to be able to control what happens next. I’m going to bury myself so deep inside you and never leave. You’re the only woman who has ever gotten to this point. Like I just can’t control myself. I fucking need you, Y/n. I can’t play this game anymore.”

She knew there was a reason they should stop. She was trying to swim her way through her haze to figure it out. Then, a single name popped into her head, but it still wasn’t enough to dampen her need for the man behind her. Nonetheless, she said her name:

“Vivian… what about V-,” she tried to ask between gasps, but Matthew’s hand left her breast and covered mouth.

“No… don’t say her name. She doesn’t matter. I’m leaving her. I’ll never love her or anyone else. All I can see is you. You’re all I want.”

Y/n started to fall back to reality at his words and tried to pull his hand from her mouth.

“Shhh, I’m not saying we date. Just let me worship you. It’s enough… no promises of the future. Just you and me doing what we do when we want to. Please baby. Let’s stop playing this bullshit game. We are both horrible at it. It’s stupid and pointless,” he rushed trying to convince Y/n of his proposition. He removed his hand and returned it to her breasts and gently squeezed. He gave her a moment to respond before slipping his other hand low enough to insert two fingers into her moistened pussy.

Y/n gasped at the feel of his fingers pleasantly stretching her walls. Who was she kidding, she needed this too, he was right. She just didn’t like the idea of fucking him when he still had a girlfriend. It didn’t mean they couldn’t still mess around though.

“Everything is on the table except actually fucking… at least until you break up.”

Matthew whined disappointingly, but said, “Agreed… wait I can still eat you out though, right? I love the way you taste.”

“God, yes! Please do! In fact I insist.” With that, they pulled apart and scrambled back onto the bed and her pants and panties were gone before she could completely lay back. Matthew had stilled though, and was watching her with wonder. 

“I love you. So. Fucking. Much!”

Sitting up quickly, y/n captured his lips in a desperate kiss. Pulling away she tells him, “I love you too. I really do, please baby. Show me how much you love me.”

Matthew pulled Y/n in for another quick, deep kiss, before pulling her shirt over her head and pushing her back down on the bed. Giving her one of his ear to ear grins he locked his eyes with hers and she returned with her own excited grin. His eyes only broke contact when he removed his shirt, pants and boxers. He then hovered over her brushing his cock against her pussy. When she was about to protest, Matthew quickly said, “everything is on the the table, but actual fucking. I’m not inside you so it’s not fucking. I’m still coming in you though, so prepare yourself for that.”

“Please, and how do you plan to do that if you can’t go inside,” she ask, with a smart- ass smirk on her face. Only it was quickly wiped off by his answer.

Matthew licked his lips and let out a low chuckle as he bit his lip. He sat back on his heels and rubbed the tip of his dick at her opening, without pushing in. His teasing was making her breathing shaky and her pussy throb. As he tapped at her entrance, he watched as she got visible wetter and how it was almost begging him to enter her, as it spasmed and clench. 

Matthew look back up at her from below his brow and gave her a dirty smirk. He let his dick slid up and rub against her clit a couple times before giving the bundle of nerves a solid pop with the swollen head of his cock. She let out a little squeak of surprise as her hip bucked of the bed, causing him to release that low chuckle again. He leaned down next to her ear and nipped her earlobe, receiving a small whimper from Y/n. 

“When I’m ready to cum… you’re going to hold that tight pretty pussy open for me and I’m going to shoot it right where it belongs.”

His words caused Y/n’s full body shutter and her to take a shaky gasp. When he pulled back he took in the sight of her. She was flushed and her eyes blown with lust. Proud of himself, he decided it was time to eat, so he started to kiss and nip his way down her body. When he got between her thighs, he looked up to see she her eyes were closed and she was chewing her bottom lip. Rubbing his hand over her pelvic bone and up to her lower abdomen he asked after giving her a tentative lick, “is this all mine?”

“What,” she asked having a hard time focusing.

Matthew pulled his head away and demanded, “look at me,” when she did, he asked again, lightly pushing down where her womb lay, “Is this mine? Tell me I’m the only one who’ll fill it. That if you decide you’re ready, that I’ll get to watch it grow. That I’ll be the only one you’ll do that with.”

Y/n looked sad for a moment and adverted her gaze as she swallowed. “What happened to no promises for the future? We both know how bad I am at those.”

Y/n refused to look him in the eye. Figuring he pushed her too far, too soon, he decided to dropped it and apologized. 

Kissing her thigh softly, he said, “Hey… I’m sorry. I just got caught up in the moment. Can we forget that I said anything and just move on from here. I feel like I killed the mood.”

She looked at him and raised up on her elbow and smiled at him while reaching down to cup his face. He turn his head and kissed the palm of her hand. “No, it isn’t what you said. You’re fine. It’s just… it’s me. I wish I could make you that promise. I really do, but I just can’t.”

“Maybe someday… and if not, that’s ok too. I’ll always love you no matter what.”

She was quite a moment, with sad eyes, then said “Maybe… I’ll always love you too.”

Moving back up her body, he kissed her tenderly only for it quickly turn passionate. Pulling away, Y/n giggled and said, “I do believe that you were in the middle of something, sir.”

A smile spread slowly across his face and he wink at her, causing her to giggle as he moved back down between her legs.

“You have the prettiest pussy,” he said, almost to himself, before he probed her entrance with his tongue, lapping her wetness, before dragging it to her clit. He then started to slowly circle her bundle with his tongue, while slipping two fingers into her pussy and starting a steady rhythm. As she started to roll her hips he looked up to see she once more propped up and was watching him work. When her eyes left where they were connected and moved up to meet his lustful gaze, she bit her lip and gave him a sultry smile, before reaching down and burying her fingers in his unruly hair. 

“You’re so good at this baby. One of these days… I’m gunna sit on that pretty face of yours.” Matthew’s eyes widened and almost glazed over while his actions stilled. Pulling away from her, the lower half of his face was covered in her juices making Y/n giggle, only to stop when he sucked his fingers clean. He smiled and said one word, “up.”

Scrambling from her spot on the bed, Matthew quickly replaced her and flopped down on the bed. Y/n couldn’t help but lick her lips when she saw his cock bounce against his stomach when he had dropped to the bed.

Matthew regained her attention with a slap to her ass and a smirk.   
“You look hungry and here I thought I feed you well.”

Y/n licked her lips again, before smashing them to Matthew’s, tasting herself in the process. It only made her need him more. “I’m hungry for something else now,” she said, pulling away breathless.

Matthew rubbed and groped her ass cheek before giving it another solid slap and said, “Then giddy up, buttercup.”

Laughing she bent and kissed him one more time before trying positioning herself over his face. It took them a minute to get the position right, and after much awkward scooting and giggling they figured it out. “Just tap on my leg if you need me to get up.”

“Trust me, I would happily die this way.”

Laughing Y/n said, “yeah, but I don’t want to be the one who has to explain it to your mother.”

Matthew just laughed as he pulled her hips down and got back to work. Fuck he was good at that. Y/n took a moment to enjoy the sensations Matthew was creating before settling on her elbows and starting her own magic.

Starting at the tip of his cock, Y/n licked the underside all the way to the base and took a moment to massage and suck on his balls. She let out a proud chuckle as his hips jerked, his thighs twitched and she heard his shaky breath beneath her. “I love the way your mouth feels on me,” he mumbled against her sex causing her to close her eyes and hum at the feeling. It was almost like they were competing to see who could get the biggest reaction out of the other. So she licked back up the length of his cock, and swirled the tip of her tongue over that sensitive spot, right under the bottom- side of the head, causing him to shudder and moaned against her clit. The sensation made her to buck her hips back into his face and Y/n gasped, as Matthew plunged two fingers into her pussy, pumped once or twice and then added a third. His pace was fast and he was hitting all the right spots. He was definitely winning.

Taking hold of his cock and pumping it a couple of times, Y/n wrapped her lips around its head. With each bob of her her own, she took him deeper, until she had him reaching all the way to the back of her throat.

Matthew pushed up on a Y/n’s hips and released a stream of curse words, “Jesus… fuck, baby…mmmm, your killing me Y/n. Oh… god. Baby, that.. oh…oh- fuuck.” The faster she moved up and down Matthew’s cock the higher the pitch of his voice got and the more that he rambled. Wiggling her hips, Y/n tried to remind him of what he should be doing. She heard a half chuckle, half moan escape him, right before he pulled her back down onto his face, but now he was playing for the win, and he began to lavished her pussy like on a mission. Before Y/n knew what was happening her whole body was shaking and the coil beep within her womb snapped and came completely undone on Matthew’s face. 

“Fuck, Matthew! Oh god… yes…fuck, yes,” she moaned as she came down from her high. Her body was spasming with aftershocks and her limbs where shaky and heavy. She used what little strength she had left, to roll off of Matthew and laid on her back, with a content giggle. “You really are way too good at that. It should be illegal.”

Matthew kneeled between her thighs once more and hovered over her as he slowly kissed her lips. Y/n reached between them and started to stroke his length, trying to help him finish. But then he pulled back and started to vigorously rub his cock up and down through the wet folds of her pussy. The sensation was actually building another ball of pressure within her and she was so close to coming again. She could tell that Matthew was too, because his breathing was becoming shallow and uneven and the thrusts of his hips where becoming jerky.

“Matthew… honey? What can I do to help you? What do you need from me baby? Let me get you there.”

Matthew quickly let go of himself and grab Y/n’s hand and placed it on her pussy. At first she thought he wanted her to rub her clit, but he hummed and shook his head. For a moment he seemed to be struggling to find his words, but he grabbed his cock in his hand again, he and finally said, “hold it open baby. No, not the lips beautiful, that cute little pussy. Put your fingers in there and spread it open for me sweetheart.”

His words, alone were making her walls begin to flutter. She had never done anything like this before, but it was incredibly hot. Placing two fingers into her pussy she opened it up for him and watched as he placed the tip of his cock between her fingers. Within seconds, Matthew had teetered over the edge and started to spill into her spread and waiting pussy. As he was filling her with his cum, she reached down with her other hand and started to rub her clit, which with the feeling of his warmth spreading inside of her, caused her eyes to roll back and her mouth fall open in a silent scream, as her second orgasm surged through her body. Matthew feel back on his heels and tiredly watched as Y/n body stiffened and shook with her release. When she finally went limp on the bed gasping for air with her eyes closed, Matthew slowly moved up the bed and laid on his side next to her. He run his hand along her skin, just taking in sight of her. She was gorgeous. He could help the words that started to slip from his lips as he began to genuinely trail kisses all over her body:

“I love you so such, Y/n. You’re so fucking perfect. Such a good girl too. Sweetheart , you did so good holding your pussy open for me. I filled you up so much. Did you like the way it felt, Y/n?” 

She smiled and turned her head to look at him and said, “I love you too, but if you keep talking like that you’re gunna kill me, Matthew.”

He chuckled as he molded himself along her body and wrapped his arm around her waist. He leaned in a kissed her tenderly. 

She smiled at him and ask, “so… we are decorating today? I did tell Ziggy I was going to a meeting this evening, but other then that, you have me the rest of the day.” 

“I can drive you to your meeting. There is this antique shop near by that I’ve been wanting to check out. When you guys are done we can all go get something to eat.”

She pulled him to her lips and said, “sounds like a plan.”

******

Y/n felt like she was on top of the world. The day before had been a great day. After her and Matthew had finished decorating their apartment, she had made them a late lunch and then heading out to her meeting. Afterward, Matthew excitingly show her and Ziggy his antique finds and then they all went out for dinner. Afterward they parted ways with their friend and went home to laze on the couch and watch some scary movies together. Only they didn’t even get through one, because the temptation to mess around had been too great. When they did finally make it to her bed, they spent hours just cuddling and talking, neither wanted to fall asleep and let the day end. But, as they did begin to doze off, y/n couldn’t help but think how nice it was to fall asleep being held by Matthew. The next morning, y/n found it was even nicer to wake up next to Matthew, especially when she is awoken with him under the sheets with his head between her legs.

Lifting the sheet, y/n peeked under to find Matthew kissing and sucking the insides of her thighs, slowly making his way to her center. In a gravelly, sleepy voice she asked, “what are you doing, sir?”

Without a glance, Matthew released a deep chuckle and said, “It’s my turn for breakfast in bed.”

Y/n started to giggle uncontrollably, as he reached up began to tickle her sides. As soon as, he started he stopped and ran his ran his hands down the insides of her thighs, pushing them down and open. 

“I know I say it every time, but your pussy is so beautiful. I could look at it for hours. Explore it… taste it. God baby, you have no idea what seeing you like this does to me,” he said, before flicking her clit with the tip of his tongue, before moving down the probe her pussy. He couldn’t stop the moan that escaped him when he tasted her wetness. “You taste so sweet baby,” he said softly, before losing himself in his slow and careful worship of her body.

Y/n reached down and wove her fingers into Matthew’s long hair. God, she could get use to this. Matthew’s mouth was beyond talented and she could feel his love for her in the slow and gentle way he tended to her pussy. It really was the perfect way to start a day. 

*****

Matthew was in the kitchen waiting on the coffee to brew when Y/n walked out of the bathroom. He watched as she silently walk to the coffee machine and make her cup. Standing up, he walked over to make his own, and before taking a sip, he leaned over and placed a quick kiss on her temple. She smiled up at him, before skirting around him and headed to the fridge. 

“How was your shower?”

“Good, but a little lonely,” she said casually, but smiling as she opening the fridge and grabbing a had full of grapes. When she shut the door, Matthew was standing right behind it, cause her to jump. She giggled at herself, while he wrapped his arm around her waist and leaned down to give her a slow gentle kiss.

“You didn’t ask me and last time I asked, you got sassy with me.”

“Well, things have changed.”

“Thankfully… so, do you want to go out and walk around town? Maybe hit some thrift shops?”

Popping a grape in her mouth, she nodded her head and agreed, “Yeah, sure that sounds fun. Just let me get changed and we can go. Do you want to stop some where for breakfast?” 

“You do know it’s almost noon right? Also, I already had breakfast. Where were you,” he asked smirking at Y/n?

Y/n rolled her eyes and smiled, as she shook her head and replied, “I don’t know. Mustn’t have been that memorable.”

“OH! I’ll show you memorable,” he said, as rushed at her, causing her to squeal and run from him and into the living room. When he caught her, he pinned Y/n against the wall and lifted her so she would wrap her legs around his waist. His hand was up her shirt in seconds and his mouth was pressed hard to hers.

“Take it back,” he said between kisses and giggles.

“Never,” she exclaimed, before lightly biting his bottom lip, causing him to hiss. “If we start this now we will never leave the apartment.”

Matthew groaned and let her feet drop to the ground, “I guess I’ll just have to work harder next time.”

Y/n eyes softened as she looked up at Matthew and cupped the side of his face, “I could never forget any time we have ever spent together.”

Matthew smiled endearingly down at the woman he loved. He lowered his lips to hers, this time kissing much softer and slower then before. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers and said, “You know I love more than life itself, right? That I could never live without you?”

Y/n blushed at Matthew’s words, and said, “I do, and no matter how much I fight it, I do too. So I guess it’s a good thing, because I’m not going anywhere,” she then gave him a sly smile and said, “though I’m pretty sure the only reason you feel that way is because I let you play out that little pregnancy kink you got going.” She then slipped past him and headed back to the kitchen, “That reminds me. I better go take my birth control.”

“Wait? What? I don’t have a kink.”

Laughing, Y/n reached into the cupboard and pulled out the slim package and popped out a pill, “you so have a kink.”

“Do not,” he said, now standing next to her. 

“Ok, please explain. How is your insistence of cumming inside of me and your calm on my uterus not a pregnancy kink.”

“Well… if it was a kink. I would want to do it no matter who I’m with and I don’t want to do it with V-… anyone else.” 

“Nice save,” she said, in a deadpan voice, before popping her pill in her mouth and swallowing it.

“Look, I’m just saying that the fact that I love you and have always imagined us having a family isn’t a kink. If anything its…. wishful thinking.”

“So… you use condoms with Vivian? Like… always. You’ve never cu-,” started to ask shyly, shifting her gaze away from Matthew.

“Yes, every time, and no abso- fucking- lutly not! I may not mind taking that risk with you, but it’s completely out of the question with her.”

For some reason, Y/n got intense feeling of relief. She had never asked him if he used protection with Vivian because it didn’t feel like it was her place and she honestly didn’t know if she wanted the answer. She knew that for them, it literally hadn’t even been a consideration. It was just an unspoken understanding that they didn’t want anything between them. Biting her lip she looked up at him as she wrapped her arms around Matthew’s waist and placed her ear to his chest and listened to his heart beat. 

Matthew rested his cheek in the top of Y/n’s head and hugged her back. “Did you still want to go out? If you’re hungry, I’ve always want to go to one of those place where you sit around a big grill and they cook your food and do tricks with it. A new one just opened down town. I hear it’s really good.”

Pulling back, Y/n looked up at Matthew with a smile on her face and asked, “You’ve never been to a hibachi grill? Oh, we are definitely going.” Pulling away, she head for her room, she called over he, “just give me a minute. I’ll be right out.”

Matthew headed to his room to get his get his wallet and keys, which he left on his night stand when he plug in his phone. Half to his room, Matthew froze. He had not checked his phone since his argument with Vivian. He had been to busy with Y/n. Closing his eyes he made a pained face. This was not going to be fun. He continued to his room and to his night stand. When he pressed the home button on his phone, he had 15 missed calls and 35 text messages. All from Vivian. Opening his text messages the last message read:

VI📱: Idk where you are or what you are doing, but you need to call me. And there better be a really good explanation bc we need to talk!

Matthew swallowed hard, while his finger hovered over the call button. He really didn’t want to have this conversation now. He didn’t want it to dampen his day with Y/n. But he had a bad feeling about that last text. Optimistically, he hoped it would just be her saying they were done and he wouldn’t have to do the breaking up himself. But, something in his gut said that wasn’t it. He wasn’t sure why, but they universe always had ways of coming around to get ya, just as things started to fall in place. His time with Y/n had come to easily and the other shoe was bound to drop. Taking a deep breath he decided to wait. He would call her to her later that night.

“You ready?”

Matthew spun around while slipping his phone in his pocket. But the sight he was greeted with left him speechless. Y/n looked amazing! She was wearing an outfit much like one she wore when they wear teens. A black mini skirt with a cut off Tool T-shirt, a flannel and combat boots. He was hit with a wave of nostalgia.

He swallowed so hard, it was audible. “You look beautiful,” he said in a gravelly voice, that was almost a whisper. Y/n made a confused face and looked down at herself and then back up at Matthew.

“Ok… thanks… I guess. So are you ready?”

Matthew still seemed a little dazed, but he nodded his head. As they made their way out to the car, Y/n could help but notice the little looks Matthew kept sneaking her way.

“Ok weirdo, what is up with you?”

Matthew actually blushed as he entered the elevator and looked away before smiling. “I don’t know… you just look so much like when we were kids. Your outfit is making me feel a bit sentimental.”

“Well, you got the mental part right,” she said jokingly, as she bumped her shoulder into his arm before exiting the elevator and entering the parking garage.

“Hey, I can’t help it if your mere beautiful leaves me simple. Maybe you should stop being so breathtakingly gorgeous and then I’ll be able to keep some brain cells.”

Y/n just laughed and shook her head, as she waited for Matthew to unlock the car doors. As she slipped into the passenger seat and buckled up, she said, “I guess I’ll work on that.”

Matthew just leaned over and quickly stole a kiss from her lips. He kissed her like it could be their last. The feeling he had in his gut was much like the one he got 12 years ago, when she walked out of math class and never returned. If there was one thing he knew, it was he was going to make the most of this day.

*****

Y/n could sense something was bothering Matthew, but whenever she asked if he was ok he would assure her everything was alright and make a joke or change the subject. He was also being very touchy-feely and affectionate. She decided to write it off and just enjoy the day.

They had so much fun at the hibachi grill. Watching Matthew experience all the tricks performed was like seeing a child watch a magic show for the first time. The pure childlike joy and excitement displayed on his face gave Y/n enough serotonin to last a year. Every time the grill would shoot up in flames he would let out a loud, “WOW!” He also held her hand the entire time and whenever he would get super excited he would squeeze her hand, as though to alert her of the amazing things going on in front of them. He also kept chatting up the cook and the strangers sitting around the grill, with them. Y/n sometimes forgot how outgoing and personable Matthew could be when out in public. He just loved people and making connections. Just watching him made her heart swell. If she ever doubted it before, she now knew she would happy marry this man someday. 

Once finished at the grill, they decided to leave the car in the parking lot while, they walked around downtown. Matthew couldn’t stop talking about how good their lunch was and how they would be going there more often. Y/n just smiled and giggled at the overly animated man before her.

Eventually, he had settled down and had draped his arm over her shoulder as they walk down the strip and peered into different shops. They had decided to pop into a little coffee shop to get themselves the caffeine fix that would get them through the rest of their day. As they stood in line, Matthew dropped his arm down to her side and enveloped her hand in his, while he told her about a possible upcoming movie role, about becoming a serial killer. 

As they got their coffee and headed out the shop, Matthew wrapped his arm around Y/n’s waist, resting his hand on her hip. They hadn’t made very far down the strip, when a man with a camera step in front of then a started taking pictures and addressed Matthew.

“Matthew! Matthew, hey man. Can we ask you some questions?”

Pulling his arm away from Y/n, Matthew seemed a little taken aback, but smiling politely said, “Yeah, hey what’s up?” Y/n quickly realizing that the guy was paparazzi step to the side and waited patiently to see what he was going to ask Matthew. As far as Y/n knew, this was the first time he had been approach like this, or at least Matthew hadn’t mentioned anything. It was bound to happen eventually, she supposed. At first the man was one asking questions that pertained to Matthew’s career, but then the personal questions started. Which were clearly making Matthew uncomfortable. They asked him about if he broke up his girlfriend Vivian and who his knew girlfriend was, at which point he turned and took a picture of Y/n causing her to jump in surprise. Matthew quickly side stepped to stand in front of her to block the man’s shot and informed him that she was just a childhood friend and that thank you, but he was done answering questions. Taking hold of her wrist Matthew lead her down the sidewalk and called out for the man to have a good day.

“Matthew, slow down! Your steps are longer then mine. Besides , the guy is gone. What’s up with you?”

Matthew slowed his pace and looked back behind them and stopped. “The skeeze was taking pictures of you. I don’t mind answering questions, but there was no need for him to take pictures of you just standing there. The one he took of us together was enough.” 

“What does it matter? Once they figure out I’m nobody important they’ll just scrap them.”

“No, you are important. You’re very important to me and that’s why I don’t want them all in your business. These people are vultures.”

Y/n reached down and took Matthew’s hand and started to walk again. “Well, if I’m so important, then why am I only a childhood friend? And why didn’t you answer the question about you and Vivian?”

Matthew sighed, “What was I supposed to say? That you’re my sun and my moon and everlasting love of my life? I haven’t technically broken up with Vivian yet and I don’t want her to find out we are over through some paparazzi article. That’s just mean.”

Y/n smiled as she blushed at Matthew’s words and squeezed his hand. “You’re too sweet. I love you too. And I guess that’s fair. That would be a pretty shitty way to find out.”

Matthew wanted to kiss Y/n, but was worried that if he did so out on the street it could be caught on film, so he just smiled and winked at her. As they walked he saw a thrift shop up ahead and said, “Let go in here and see if we can find something cool.”

Slipping threw the door, they made their way to the clothing racks and started to pick through the selections. As, Matthew was digging threw the men’s area, Y/n wandered over to the woman’s selection and pulled out a couple of funky shirts and some vintage looking dresses. She then stumbled across a black button down that had neon aliens all over it. She was pretty sure it was actually a pajama top, but she knew Matthew would get a kick out of it. Holding it up, she called him over to take a closer look. The minute Matthew laid his eyes on it, they brightened with excitement and he ran his hand over the material. 

“Oh my god, it’s so soft! Oh, I’m so buying this! Do you think it will fit me,” he asked holding it up to himself.

Laughing at his excitement, Y/n said, “I don’t know. Try it on.”

Handing his finds over to Y/n, Matthew quickly removed the shirt from its hanger and slipped it on over his t-shirt and buttoned it up. Running his hand down his chest to smooth it out, then held his arms out like a T to display it for Y/n and asked, “what do you think? Is it me?”

Y/n just beamed at him and nodded her head. “I love it!”

Matthew took it off and placed it back on its hanger and said, “Sold!”

They both continued to browse and after grabbing couple more pieces each they headed to check out. As they waited in line, Matthew looked over at Y/n and figured, “what the fuck,” and pulled her face toward him as he dipped his head and captured her lips in a slow, long kiss.

“What was that for?”

“No reason. Just because I love you,” he said pushing her hair behind her ear. Once again Y/n blushed at the sweetness of Matthew’s words.

******

Y/n was currently running herself a bath while Matthew ran out to do some top secret errand. On their way home, he had informed her that he would be dropping her off and then heading back out for about a hour. When she asked why he was dropping her off, all he said was that it was a surprise and she would see when he got home. 

So, she had decided that she would use the time to soak and relax. The last two days had been amazing, and it left her wondering if maybe she was being difficult. That she was just scared. But, she also knew that this was also a kind of honeymoon period. Once the newness wore off, the euphoria she was experiencing would dwindle and the stress of be in a relationship would start to take its toll. 

She was excited to have Vivian out of the picture though. One of the worse decisions he had made, regarding Matthew anyways, was pushing him into a relationship with someone he knew he would never be able to fall in love with. She had no doubt that she occupied the whole of his heart. As he occupied hers. 

Sinking down into the warm water, Y/n closed her eyes and tried to let her mind go blank. She must have been more tired then she thought, because the next thing she knew she was waking with a start from the sound of Matthew’s voice, calling out her name. 

“I’m in here,” she called out in a sleepy voice, turning on the hot water with her toes.

About two or three minutes passed and Matthew hadn’t responded, so Y/n sat up and turned off the hot water. “Matthew?” Was she losing it? Maybe she had been dreaming.

Then all of a sudden Matthew burst through the door smiling, “Hey baby, sorry I heard you call out just as I was walking out the door. I had to make two trips.” 

“What did you get that you needed to make two trips? And what are you hiding behind your back,” she asked giving him a suspicious look, while trying to peer around him. He just chuckled and then pulled his hand out and gave Y/n a single red rose. 

“A beautiful flower for a beautiful lady. Also, don’t worry about what I bought. You will see soon enough.” 

Y/n just leaned back and rolled the stem of the rose between her fingers and she held the bud below her nose. Her smile started to fade as something about earlier today dawned on her. The run in with the paparazzi was the first of many to come. Matthew was becoming recognizable and it would only increase from here. They would never have a normal life. He would be under the spotlight and so would she if they where together. No matter how much Matthew thought he would be able to protect her. For some reason all these thoughts were starting to make her feel anxious.

Matthew watched as Y/n clearly became lost in a far away thoughts and from the look spreading across her face they weren’t a good ones.. “Y/n, baby, what’s wrong?”

Y/n was pulled from her thoughts and her eyes meet Matthew’s concerned one. “We will never have a normal life. People will always be watching us. When we go out paparazzi and fans will always be interrupting us. That doesn’t scare you? To know your life has completely changed? That you’re losing your anonymity?”

“I mean yeah, it’s scary, but it doesn’t matter to me. Nothing will get in the way of our lives. We just need to adapt with it. And honestly, as long as you’re in my life I don’t care. That’s what’s most important to me.”

“Don’t you worry that they will look into me and the things that I’ve done? How it will all reflect on you? How people will perceive you?”

“Stop. Stop talking like you’re some horrible person, who has done horrible things. You haven’t. So many people fall victim to alcoholism and are still good people. Marilyn Monroe and Lucille Ball were both alcoholics and millions of people love them.”

Sitting up, Y/n said, “Those are talented, iconic women. You can’t compare me to them.”

“Sure I can. You’re talented. It’s one of the first things I fell in love with. The way you saw the world around you and how you then put it on paper or canvas. It’s truly amazing. I could only dream to be able to paint like you, but you know what you taught me?” Matthew squat down and leaned his arms on the edge of the tub so Y/n and he were at eye level. “You taught me that it didn’t matter if my art wasn’t as articulate or as perfected as what you or the next person made. It was still art and it was my style and that there would be someone out there that likes it. Do you know I have fans that actually like my silly doodles so much that they are getting them tattooed on themselves? Before I met you, I hadn’t really shown my drawings to anyone. I thought they were bad. I was so desperate to find a way to connect with you, I decided to show them to you and I was terrified, but you loved them. And you pushed me to continue.”

Y/n’s eyes filled with tears as she listened to Matthew talked. “I know you love me, but that’s because you knew me before I messed everything up.

“Stop! I love because of who you where and who you are now. And you didn’t mess everything up. You may have made a bad choice here or there and stumbled down a dumpy path, but you’re finding your way back.”

“But don’t you care about what they will think about you when they learn more about me?”

“Why do you care what people you don’t even know, think about you? I don’t? I couldn’t give a rats ass what they think about you, because I know the real you. And she is perfect in my eyes. Shouldn’t it only matter what you and I…. and maybe my mom, think about you? Because I think you’re the bees knees.”

Y/n laughed as she wiped her eyes, “well if I should worry about what your mom thinks about me then we are definitely doomed.”

“What? No! My mom loves you. She asks about you every time I talk to her. She actually wants me to bring you with me next time I visit. She is silently rooting for you all the way in Vegas.”

“Please, your mother couldn’t stand me.”

“No, you’re wrong. Trust me. If my mother couldn’t stand you, she wouldn’t have let you come over everyday. You want to know what my mom’s deal was? She was scared of you.”

Y/n drew her eyebrows together in confusion, “scared of me?”

“Yup, she was scared of how much power you held over me. Even now.”

“I don’t have any power over you.”

Matthew just chuckled and shock his head and reached over and took one of her hands in his. “You silly girl. Do you see this little tiny finger right here? I’ve been happily wrapped around it since the day I meet you. My mother knew. She knew that there would never be anything that I wouldn’t do for you, so you scared her. We were young and I was irreparably in love with you. I still am. I will always be happily wrapped around this pretty little finger. Even if you left and I never saw you again. There will never be anybody but you. That’s all that should matter. Not what millions of people who don’t know you.”

“How does that not scare you? Being so certain of one thing for so long? Aren’t you scared that you chose the wrong finger to wrap around?”

Matthew, just tilted his head and narrowed is eyes, then shook his head. “No never.” He then stood and started to peel of his jacket and tossed it onto the sink counter, before stepping into the tub fully clothed. Shoes and all.

“Oh my god! What are you doing! You are determined to flood this apartment,” Y/n squealed, laughing at Matthew’s antics. 

Matthew smiled down at Y/n and hummed a, “Mmhmm.” When he dropped down to his knees he was straddling Y/n’s hips and a huge tidal wave of water wash up over her and out of the tub. Y/n couldn’t stop laughing, even went he braced himself on the edge of the tub behind her and lowered his lips to hers in a languid and tender kiss.

“Gubler, you’re crazy,” Y/n said softly, between kisses as she wrapping her arms around his neck and ran her fingers him his hair. 

“Let me make love to you. I need to make love to you,” Matthew pleaded, pulling back to look Y/n in the eyes. 

She gave him a small smile and a nod of the head, “there is nothing I’d want more.”

Matthew beamed at her and chuckled as he leaned down once again to press his lips to her’s. When he pulled away for a second time, he took off his glasses and tossed them to the floor. Y/n then helped him peel his wet shirt from his body and it landed on the floor with a heavy plop. As he hovered over Y/n to kiss her again, he smiled against her lips and readjust his position so he was now kneeling between her legs and no longer straddling her hips. All the while causing even more water to spill out onto the bathroom floor. 

Y/n wrapped her legs around Matthew’s waist and dug her finger tips into the skin of his back and shoulder. She needed to feel his body close to hers. After making out for several minutes, Matthew’s hand became impatient and started to explore her body. 

Pulling back from her mouth, he reached behind her head and let her hair that she had place into a bun, down. As her hair spilled over shoulder, Matthew smiled to himself and ran his fingers through her hair. 

“I love your hair,” he said almost to himself. He then ran his hand down to her breast and started to massage and caress them gently. Every once and a while he contrasted his gental touch with a rough pluck of her nipple. He never pulled his eyes from hers. He watched her reactions and absorbed the sounds she made with every move he made. 

Y/n reached out and pulled him back to her mouth. She needed his lips on her. As they kissed, his hand made its way down her body and in between her thighs. She closed her eyes and gasped as he ran his fingers through her slick folds, before let two of his fingers sink into her pussy. As he started a slow rhythm within her, she let her head fall back on in to the rim of the tub and whimpered as she bit her lip. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful. I’ll never get over how gorgeous you are. How lucky I am to have you,” Matthew said into her ear, as he increased his pace and started to kiss an suck on her neck. “I’ll be so sad when these are gone. I want everyone to know you’re mine.

Between his words and the magic that was his fingers, Y/n was moaning and whimpering for more. She couldn’t help but wraps a leg around him while her nails left moon shapes on he bicep and scalp.

“Matthew… please, baby. Please. I need more, fuck… I need you in me,,” she whined desperately. Causing Matthew to chuckled against her neck, before pulling his fingers from her body. 

“I’m getting there baby, hold on,” he said settling back onto his heels. Slowly, he began to unbuckle his belt in an attempt to drive her a little more crazy. 

Watching him smirk down at her, she sat up and said, “ for the love of-,” and started to yank at his belt and pants, causing Matthew to laugh as she struggled with the wet material. When she was finally able to tug his pants down low enough to free his hardened cock, his laughing was replaced by a moan, as she started to pump her hand up and down his length.

Swallowing, he kissed her again and changed their position by leaning back and unfolding his legs in front of him. Y/n shifted around to allow him to maneuver and then quickly crawled onto his lap, causing both of them to giggle as she straddled his hips. She leaned down and kissed him playfully, nipping and sucking at his bottom lip. 

“I can’t believe you still have you shoes on,” said giggling between kisses.

“They will give me better traction to fuck you with,” Matthew said, chuckling as he ran his hands down her back. They then slid down and over her hips, squeezing momentarily, before moving up the front of Y/n’s body and grasped her breasts. Sitting up Matthew caught her nipple in his mouth, causing Y/n to gasp and throw her head back, while threading her fingers through his hair. 

She couldn’t help but roll her hips while grinding her pussy along his cock. The feel of her rutting against his dick cause him to moan against her breast. 

Smiling to himself he lightly bite down on one of her nipples, causing her to jump and squeak. When he switched sides and repeated the action, Y/n tightened the grip on his hair and pulled his head back, making him chuckle as she warned, “watch it.”

As he continued to laugh, he slid a hand between her thighs and pushed two fingers into her slick pussy and watched as her eye slide shut and she gasped and held her breath a moment before releasing a shaky breath. She was so beautiful on top of him with her bottom lip caught between her teeth and her brows drawn together. She was letting little mews and whimpers escape, before opening her eyes again and staring deep into his own.

“I need more baby, please Matthew. I need you inside me,” she begged as she lowered her mouth to his. 

Matthew moaned into her mouth, as he pulled his fingers from her body and lined his cock up with her opening. As soon as he was in place Y/n started to slide down, allowing him to stretch her slowly. They both breathed quick shallow breaths as she sunk down on him. It had been so long since he had been inside her and it felt like coming home. Reaching up, Matthew gently cupped the back of her head and brought her down for a slow and gentle kiss. As she started to slowly roll and rotate her hips, Matthew released a whimper of his own.

“Baby, you’re so tight. You feel so good. God I’ve missed how it felt to be inside of you. I love you so much baby. Fuuuck,” his hands were settled on her hips as he slowly thrusted up to meet her languid movements. She was make love to him and he had never experienced anything like it.

“I love you. No one has ever felt so right inside me. It’s like you where made for me, Matthew. God, you’re so fucking deep baby.”

As they rocked together they murmured words of love to each other. Their hands roamed and caressed the others body. 

“Get up baby, get on your knees and lean on the edge of the tub,” Matthew instructed. Moving around in the tub was a bit difficult but once situated, Y/n was on her knees facing away from Matthew with him on his knees behind her. He pulled her down so she practically sitting on his lap and told her to lean on the ledge.

Matthew quickly pushed back into Y/n’s pussy and bottomed out. His rough and sudden intrusion caused Y/n to hiss and white knuckle the ledge of the tub. Matthew draped himself across her back and ground his cock in as deep as he could. He wished could just stay inside her forever. With his forehead pressed between her shoulder blades, he slowly pulled out only to snap his hips and slammed all the way back in. The force of his thrusts where causing Y/n grunt and almost tip over the edge of tub.

“Ahh.. ahhh… fuuuck, Matthew. Baby… baby wait. You’re going to fuck me right out of the tub,” she said between laughter and moans.

Without skipping a beat, Matthew grabbed Y/n by the shoulder and pulled her back against his chest. He then slid his arm up and across her chest to hold in place. His other hand gripped painfully into her hip as his thrusts became almost frenzied. He couldn’t help but babble to Y/n about how good she felt and how much he loved her. 

Y/n held onto the arm secured across her chest as Matthew pounded into her. She was pretty much screaming at this point and was sure the neighbors new what was up. Matthew was quiet literally rocking her world right now. He hadn’t even touched her clit and her walls where starting to flutter. He was hitting all the right spots and she was thankful they where already in the tub because she was going to squirt. A lot! She was so close and started to beg Matthew to get her over the edge.

“Matthew… I’m so close, I need to cum baby, please I need you feel you fill me. Fill me up baby, please Matthew?”

Matthew practically growled at her words and bite down on her shoulder as his hips stared to erratically jerk and he spilled over within her. With a final jerk of his hips his teeth released her shoulder and slid his hand around to rub her clit as pressed his semi hard cock right in the spot she needed. With in seconds her body stiffened and started to tremble as her body gush a forceful stream of fluid.

“Fuck, that never stops being hot,” Matthew chuckled in an exhausted voice. “It’s much easier to clean when we are in the tub, too.” Wrapping his are around Y/n waist he sat back on his heels and pulled her tired body with him. She let her head fall back onto his shoulder. 

“I was actually having the same thought like five minutes ago. It’s like I could feel it building up. Squirting organisms feel different then the run of the mill organisms. At least to me,” she said, still struggling to regain her breath. “You fucking bit me.”

Letting out a small chuff, he bowed his head and kissed her shoulders where there was a clear outline of teeth marks. They were already starting to bruise. “I know, I’m sorry. You might need to not wear anything with straps for a minute.”

Y/n rolled her eyes with a smile and said, “of course not.” She then stood on shaky legs, causing Matthew to slip from her body, and causing them both to moan. As she carefully climbed out of the tub, Matthew drained what little water was left. Most of the tubs contents had been displaced onto the bathroom floor or absorbed by his corduroy pants. He could kiss his deposit goodbye, but it was totally worth it. When he stood, this pants where so heavy with water that they just dropped to his ankles with a loud wet plop.

Y/n, who was standing by the sink slipping on her panties, turned toward the sound only to burst into laughter at the site that greeted her. Matthew was standing in the tub, looking like a drowned rat with his pants and boxers down around his ankles. His shoulders were slumped and his arms were hanging at his sides. He was making a face that resembled a sad frog and was looking down at his pants dejectedly. 

The longer he just stood there the harder Y/n laughed. 

“So you think this is funny?” She nodded her head as she snorted, because she was laughing too hard.   
Matthew bent down and pulled up his pants and held them as he stepped out of the tub. But when he step out, his converse made a loud squelching sound. They both froze and stared at each other. When he pulled his other foot out of the tub and placed it on the floor, it also made a squelching sound. When he saw that Y/n was struggling to keep a straight face, he grinned at her and started hoping from one foot to the other: squish, squish, squish

Y/n completely lost it. She was now red faced as she laughed hysterically bent at the waist. Matthew continued to hope around the room, until he slipped and fell on his ass. He didn’t think Y/n laugh any harder, but he was wrong. She was holding her stomach and had tears streaming down her face and sounded like she about to hyperventilate. Getting up from the floor he did a funny little tip toe toward her: squish squish squish. She shook her head and turned her back to him trying to gain some composure. When he reached her he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and waited for her to settle down. Once she had stopped laughing, she turned in his arms and almost started back up when she saw him, but pressed her lips together, swallowed and shook it off.

Matthew smiled down at her. She was so beautiful and this would be one of his fondest memories of her. Watching her laugh like that warmed him to his core. It was a laugh he knew she really needed in her life. He was so happy to had been the one to give it to her. 

He brushed her wet hair from her face and leaned down kissed her slow and sweetly. When he pulled back he cupped her face and told her, “this has been the best day of my life. It will take a lot to top it.”

Y/n beamed up at him. “Mine too!,”she said wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Really?”

Y/n just nodded and pulled his lips back to her’s and when he pulled away he rested his forehead on hers for a beat before smiling and hoping three more times: squish, squish, squish.

Y/n dissolved into another fit of laughter.

*****

While Matthew had cleaned up the bathroom Y/n collect some boxers and his favorite kimono. While she was in his room, she switched her baggy t-shirt for his new alien button up. When she had slipped back into the bathroom and hoped onto he counter, he didn’t notice right away. It was only after he tossed the last towel into the hamper did her turn and see what she was wearing. He licked his lips and walked slowly toward her and informed her that if he didn’t have other things planned for the evening he would definitely be fucking her in his new shirt.

He had then told her of his plans to cook her dinner and for them to carve pumpkins afterwards. Though he did end up laying her out on the table and fucked her fast and hard while he waited for the water to boil. Once they had finished eating the spaghetti he prepared they left their dishes in the sink and sat on the kitchen floor and carved pumpkins. Y/n had put on music and they danced around the kitchen as Matthew washed the dishes and she roasted pumpkin seeds. When they were done they lite the candles inside their pumpkins and turned off the lights to enjoy them, while cuddled on the couch. It wasn’t long before they were wrapped around each other again. They made their way to her room were they made love for the third time that evening. 

*****

Matthew watched Y/n sleep. He didn’t lie when he said it had been the best day of his life, but he had a feeling that it was about to get ruined. He loved Y/n, but he had this sickening feeling that this may be the last time they would be together like this. 

He had put off talking to Vivian all day. While he was at the store he had check his phone and she was none to happy that he had texted her and then left her on read again. He was scared to see what she had to say. If she was going to break up with him she would have already. He just knew in his guts she was going to tell him something that would change their lives. 

Knowing it would probably be a loud conversation, Matthew slipped from Y/n warm bed and went to his room and shut the door behind him. He would go back once he called Vivian and told her it was over. 

Taking a deep breath, he taped on her contact and hit call. As he sat and waited for Vi to pick up, he nervously bounced his leg. When the called went to voice mail, he frowned and pulled up his text messages.

Matthew 📱: I tried to call you. I thought you wanted to talk?

He waited and saw that she was typing. It was taking forever and he was starting to think she was writing a novel. But then what popped up was not a typed message… it was an image. 

Matthew felt sick. There was no way. Tears came to his eyes and they were not ones of joy. He didn’t want this. How could this have happened? He had been so careful. 

Matthew 📱: how? 

Vi📱: idk. But it has happened. So whatever you have been doing the last three days and with whoever… it ends now.

Matthew 📱: yeah… okay

The tears that had started to collect in his eye finally spilled over. Tossing his phone onto his bed he walked out of his room to stand in the door way of Y/n’s. As he watch her beautiful face as she slept, his heart tore to pieces. He would never again be able to have what they had today. They were so close, but now so far away. He was also certain that she would hate him once she found out. 

But he couldn’t let it consume him. He had to find a way to move on. To focus on Vivian. After all, they were having a baby.


	12. Part 12

Two days prior

Vivian was pissed. Matthew wasn’t answering her calls or texts and she had a pretty good idea as to why. She was worried when she left that this was going to happen. Matthew had seemed way to excited for her to leave, like he wasn’t going to miss her at all. She wasn’t stupid. She knew that their relationship was going to be short lived if she didn’t do something. She’d been feeling him slip through her fingers ever since Y/n returned from rehab.

“What’s wrong girlie,” asked Sidney, her costar, as she sat in the makeup chair next to her. “You look pissed about something.”

Vivian sighed and slammed her phone down on the counter in front of her. “Matthew hasn’t answered any of my texts or calls in almost two days. He is off and usually always has it with him. I’m pretty sure he is fucking his roommate. God, I can’t stand that bitch.”

“Wait, you let your boyfriend live with another woman? Well, that was your first mistake.”

“They were already living together when we started dating. They’ve known each other since they were kids. They are best friends, but they also dated when they were like 14 or something, but I wasn’t told that until after we started dating. He swore that he didn’t like her in a romantic way. Even though it was clear she did. But she is like this raging alcoholic and ended up in rehab the first week we were dating. Our first month together was great, granted he was a little preoccupied because she wasn’t calling him. But other than that, it was really good… until she returned all sober and healthy. Since then I’ve been feeling him pull away. He won’t sleep with me at his place if she is around. So, we started staying at my place, but he still doesn’t seem that interested in fooling around. I’m pretty sure he is going to break up with me when I get home.”

“Looks like you need a way to pin him. Tell me, is he a family-oriented kind of guy or a fuck boy type?”

“He is all about family. Definitely not a fuck boy. He was pretty much a virgin when I got my hands on him. I think he with one other person and it was only once or twice from what I understand.”

Sidney looked at in shock. “How old is he?”

“Twenty-six. I think he didn’t lose it until this year too.”

“Wow…just wow. That’s crazy. Is he any good at least?”

Vivian just smiled and said, “He gets the job done.”

“Well, then definitely a keeper, right? So, since he is a family guy, this is what you need to do,” Sidney leaned in close and started to whisper, “I can get you these fake pregnancy tests. All you have to is wet them and wait five minutes. The answer will always be pregnant. Wa La! Trapped. If he is a family man like you say, he won’t break up with you and he will straighten up.”

“But I’m not pregnant… won’t he get suspicious, when there is no signs of pregnancy?”

Her friend rolled her eyes and talking to her like she was stupid, said, “well, duh! You get pregnant. Most guys see pregnancy as a perfect excuse to stop wrapping it. So just stop taking your birth control and fuck like rabbits. It’ll happen. Plus, here is the best part, it’s going to put a wedge between him and the alcoholic.” Sidney then sat back laughing. 

“And you… you’ve done this before? And it worked?”

“Oh yeah. I’ve gotten several good parts do this. Hook up with a producer or director, say your pregnant, blackmail them for a better part, and after there is too much footage to waste and you can’t be replaced or fired, then “lose” the baby. So easy. Men are dumb sweetie. So, do you want the tests or not?”

Vivian was quiet as she thought, chewing on her lip. She wasn’t going to lose to Y/n. Slowly, she started to nod her head. “yes, I think I do.”

******

Matthew didn’t know what to do. He was so mad at himself. How could he let this happen? He spent most of his night sitting on his bed replaying every time Vivian and he where together. He was trying to figure when is could have happened. Did she mess up on her birth control? But even if she had, they hadn’t experienced a broken condom or ever had sex without one. His dick hadn’t been anywhere near her in a sexual way without being wrapped. So how did it happen? He had considered for a moment that it wasn’t his, but that would mean she had cheated on him. Not that he cared if she did. He just didn’t want to destroy the progress he had made with Y/n the last couple days. He was so fucked.

Giving up on sleep, he decided he wanted to get himself ready for work and prepare himself for the up and coming conversation he would be having with Y/n. He wasn’t looking forward to it. He wasn’t sure if he should tell her yet. But he would need to have an explanation as to why he wasn’t leaving Vivian. Because he couldn’t now. If the baby was somehow his, what kind of guy would he be to leave her while she was pregnant. To leave and immediately start a new relationship with another woman? 

Then there was that. Technically he had been cheating on Vivian the whole weekend. He didn’t really consider it that at the time because as far as he was concerned Vivian and he were over. But… now he felt overwhelming guilt. Not only for cheating on Vivian, but for unintentionally leading on Y/n. She was going to be hurt and he was worried about how this was all going to affect her sobriety. Just three days ago she mentioned that she still struggles with wanting to drink. Which he knows is to be expected, he just didn’t want to make it worse.

Walking out into the living room of the apartment, Matthew’s feet automatically brought him to Y/n room. He swallowed back a lump in his throat, as he stood there and watched her sleep. She was naked with her back to him and she had a sheet just barely draped over her. She was beautiful and tears started to trickle down his face. Without another thought, he gently climbed into her bed, careful not wake her and molded himself to her back, while wrapping his arm softly around her waist. He then buried his face in her hair, drawing in his favorite scent in the world and held the woman he loved, one last time.

*****

When Y/n woke, she was alone and the apartment seemed so quiet. “Matthew?” When she didn’t get an answer, she slipped out of bed and without bothering to put clothes on, padded out of her room. She smiled when she saw the bathroom door closed and the shower running. Quickly, she scurried to the bathroom, but when she tried to open it, it wouldn’t budge. Making a confused face, Y/n tried to turn the knob again and it still wouldn’t turn. Y/n scowled and bite her bottom lip. Why would he lock it? He never locked it. “Matthew? Babe, you ok?” He probably couldn’t hear her over the water. She was being silly. He probably locked it absentmindedly. Shrugging it off, she just decided that she would pounce when he came out. 

Turning to head back to her room to put some clothes, she stopped half way, when she was struck with a brilliant idea. Smiling to herself, she turned back around and headed to the kitchen to start the coffee machine. Something told her that Matthew would love to find her naked and laying across the table when he followed to smell of caffeine into the kitchen.

******

When Matthew exited the bathroom, his stomach was in knots. He could smell the coffee before he opened the door and knew that Y/n was up. He considered just going to his room and staying there until it was time to leave for work, but he knew that was the cowardly way out, so he turned and head to the kitchen.

When he came to the room entrance, he stopped in his tracks. What he saw was almost enough to make him forget everything that was going on. Y/n was stretched out across the kitchen table, laying stomach down, while leafing through a magazine and drinking her coffee. Her back was arched as she was propped up on her elbows and she was casually kicking her feet in the air. The best part, was that she didn’t have a stitch of clothing on. Images from the night before, spreading her out across that very table and fucking her senseless, flipped through his mind and he could feel his pants begin to tighten. A smile started to grow on his face and his feet began to move toward her, when reality came crashing back down. Quickly changing course, Matthew headed towards the coffee machine, trying to ignore the pain he felt, as he walked away from Y/n.

With his back to her, he heard her disappointed hum, and the sound of her shifting around on the table.

“Babe, are your contacts bothering you again? Do you need me to grab your glasses,” she asked playfully?

“Um, no I’m good, but thanks,” he replied, without looking at Y/n. She was quiet for a moment, before asking, “Are you ok? Can you at least look at me?”

Matthew stopped stirring his coffee, closing his eyes, he sighed. Slowly, he turned to face Y/n, keeping his eyes train to her face. “We are going to be late. You need to go get ready. We don’t have time for this. At this rate, there isn’t even time for you to shower.”

“Well, I was going to join you, but somebody locked the door,” Y/n said, pouting.

Matthew’s darted his eyes away from hers and said, “uh… that was an accident. Can you please just go dressed? We are gunna be late.”

“Matthew, we have plenty of time. What are you talking about,” she asked, with a slight edge of annoyance?

Matthew just turned his back to her again, and said, “just go get ready. Also, if you haven’t taken it already, don’t forget your pill.”

Once again, Y/n fell silent, but he could hear her sliding off the table. He could hear her bare feet padding on the floor, as she walked towards him. His heart clenched, when her arms wrapped around his waist from behind and he felt her rest her cheek on his back. God, he loved her. This wasn’t fair.

“What’s wrong, baby? You seem really tense, is something wrong? How about… you let me help you relax,” she suggested, as one of her hand started to move down toward his belt.

Matthew pulled away lightning quick and moved to the other side of the room, leaving Y/n to stand there in shock.

“I just want you to go put some fucking clothes on! Get dressed! Get ready! Why is that so hard for you to understand,” he snapped, instantly feel remorseful.

Y/n eyes widened and her mouth dropped open at his outburst, but then her expression quickly changed to one of anger. Her eyes narrowed and her mouth snapped shut, her lips pressing together in a tight line.

“I don’t know what the fuck is your problem is this morning, but all I’ve done is try to make it better. There is no reason for you to yell at me like that! Does this shit mood have something to do with Vivian? Did you talk to her already?”

Matthew tried his best not to react, but nonetheless, he knew he visibly flinched. He wasn’t trying to be an asshole. He was just trying to fight the temptation of her naked body. All he really wanted to do was throw her over his shoulder and carry her off to his room. If he had walked into the kitchen yesterday and saw what he saw this morning, they would be exhausted and sweaty right now, building their energy for the next round.

“Matthew!”

He didn’t know how to answer. He didn’t want to tell her yet. So, he lied. “No, I haven’t talked to her. I won’t until later.”

Y/n chuffed, rolled her eyes before turning to leave the kitchen. She was half way into the living room when Matthew called out.

“Y/n.”

“What,” she snapped, spinning to face him.

“Don’t forget to wear something that will cover your shoulder and to put concealer on your neck.”

He swore he saw a flash of hurt across her face. Her chin quivered slightly, before she turned without a word, slamming her door behind her.

He was so, so fucked.

******

The ride to work had been awkward and quiet. They didn’t even put on the radio, which was weird for them. Once they had gotten to the studio Matthew simply parked the car, got out, and went straight to his trailer. All without a single glance in her direction. She just didn’t get it. It was like he was an entirely different person. The whole way here she was trying to figure out what she could have done to upset him so badly.

Sighing, Y/n made her way to the props department. When she opened the door it was still dark, like she was the first one to get there. Weird. Flipping on the switch, Y/n screamed in surprise when several members of the crew jumped out and yelled “welcome back!” Y/n started smiling and laughing as everyone came over to give her a hug and welcome her back to work. Kathryn even had balloons and a sheet cake that said, ‘Welcome Back to Hell!’ Y/n was really surprised so many people were happy to see her back, though she knew that many of them were probably just here for the cake. Once the cake was cut and passed around, everyone’s started to slip out to return to work, leaving her and Kathryn to clean up the mess. 

Just as she was throwing the last of the dirty plates away, Y/n heard the department doors open. Looking up she saw Matthew and Shemar in costume and with their makeup on.

“Hey! Looks like there was a party and no one called me! This all for you baby girl,” Shemar asked, giving her a hug.

“Yes, it was. Sorry, I wasn’t in charge of invites, but there is some cake left. You want some!”

His face lit up and said, “Hell yeah, welcome back sweet thang.”

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at Shemar, as he danced in place, while he ate a piece of cake. She then turned and glanced at Matthew who hadn’t said anything since walking in.

“Do you want a piece? It’s pretty good,” Y/n asked quietly, giving him a shy smile. 

Matthew just scowled momentary, before relaxing his face and shaking his head and licking his lips. “No, I just want to get my props and go.” The edge in his’s voice was caught by everyone in the room. 

Shemar paused with a bite of cake halfway to his mouth and raised one of his perfect eyebrows. “You okay over there, Pretty Ricky?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just tired and would like to get completely ready so I can try and lay down in my trailer for a bit,” Matthew said to Shemar, lacking the snappy tone.

Y/n huffed, walked over to the cubby holding his props and slammed them down on the counter next him. She then practically shoved the clipboard at him and said, “By all means, don’t let me keep you.” She then stormed out of the department and to the restroom where she locked herself in a stall and cried. Why was he treating her like this?

******

Matthew could feel the disapproving eyes of Kathryn and Shemar boring into him. He quickly, signed his name and took his props and fled the room. He hadn’t made it too far, when Shemar caught up with him and asked, “What the fuck? What was that, Gube? Why you being such a dick to Y/n? I thought this was supposed to be the big weekend, you convinced her of your undying love, or some shit. Because if so, I got tell you, that’s not how you do it.”

“I know ok. I’m not meaning to, but I’ve been an ass all morning. The thing is, that we had the best weekend. Yesterday was easily the happiest day of my life. I was supposed to break it off with Vivian today, but last night, I decided to get it done, quick like a band aid, but when I tried, she…,” he sighed, shook his head and started to walk away, but Shemar grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Matthew?” When he turned to face his friend, he had tears in his eyes. 

“I’m so fucked man. She is going to hate me when she finds out. I don’t want this. Not with Vivian, but I can leave now.”

“Why is she going to hate you?”

Matthew wiped at his face and looked around them and the cast and crew all around them. “I don’t really want to say here.” Shemar nodded his head in what Matthew guessed was understanding, as the older man threw an arm over his shoulder and lead him out the studio doors over to their trailers. Sitting him down on the steps he said, “we are alone. Now spill.”

Matthew swallowed and the signed. “Last night when I called Vivian she didn’t answer, but she did send me a text…”

“And?”

“And it was a picture of a positive pregnancy test,” Matthew said, staring blankly in front of him. “Maybe, if I can make her hate me it won’t hurt her so much.”

“Is that what you’re trying to do. Make her hate you? Because I’ll tell you now man, that’s not the result you’re gunna get. What’s gunna happen is you’re gunna destroy her.”

At that Matthew’s face crumpled and he covered it with his hands. Shemar stepped closer as his friend sobbed, rubbed his back. After a moment he collected himself, and sniffled as he wiped at his nose and eyes. In a hoarse voice, he asked, “what should I do?”

“I can’t really tell you what to do about the situation with Vivian and the baby, but Y/n, stop being a dick, man up and tell her the truth. The situation sucks, but it is what it is. She will be upset and hurt, but not like she is now.”

“I love her. More than anything in this world.”

“I know you do, man.” 

Matthew let out a shaky breath. 

*****

Y/n tried her best to carry on with her day. She had been hoping that Matthew would seek her out to talk. She thought that when they went on break for lunch and stage reset, that he would still want to eat with her and finally tell her what was going on, but thirty minutes into their two hours break she decided she would track him down. 

When she couldn’t find him at the food trucks or anywhere on the studio floor, Y/n decided to check his trailer. When she got there she gently knocked, but she got no answer. Thinking he might be in the restroom, she slowly opened the door and peaked in. She could see him laying on the couch, napping. So, she quietly slipped through the door and shut it behind her. Even in his sleep he looked like something was bothering him, as his brows were drawn together and a frown tugged on his lips. 

She didn’t want to wake him, because she knew he must be tired if he came here to nap, but he looked so sad that she just wanted to hold him and make it better. Y/n bite her lip trying to decide what she should do. Should she lay down with him or give him his space and let him sleep? Let him come to her when he was ready? Would he come to her? 

Sighing, Y/n turned to leave. Just as her hand was about to turn the door knob, she heard Matthew starting to sleepily mumble. Turning back to him, she tried to make out what he was saying, but when he whimpered and drew in a shaky breath like he was about to cry, her mind was made up.

‘Fuck it,’ she thought, as she pulled off her boots and gently crawled into the couch and laid down on top of him. Nuzzling her face into his neck, Y/n shushed him and began placing soft kisses onto his neck. “It’s ok Matthew,” she said lightly running her fingers through his hair. 

She then heard a moan from deep in his throat and his facial features softened, before he mumbled her name. His arms lazily came up and loosely wrap around her. She also felt his hips slightly buck underneath her. Smiling to herself, situated her legs so they were now straddling his hips and push her pelvis down toward his, pulled a moan from him as he tightened his arms around her

“Y/n,” he mumbled again, “I love you.”

Y/n rotates her hips again and slid her hand up his shirt so she could rest her hand on his chest. She then began to kiss him along his neck again and along his jaw, when she heard him whimper again and his face crumpled. He then mumbled an apology, “I’m so sorry… didn’t want this.”

What didn’t he want? Her? Them? Suddenly, tears started to trickle down his cheeks and he drew in a shaky breath. The sight of Matthew crying in his sleep broke her heart. Something was terribly wrong.

Pulling her hand from his shirt, Y/n reached up and started to wipe his tears away and gently easing him awake, while scattering kissed on his face.

“Shhh, Matthew, it’s ok… I got you. Wake up, babe. Come on honey.” Slowly his eyes started to flutter open and his arms momentarily tightened as he slides back into consciousness.

When his eyes finally opened, he looked confused for a moment and asked in a groggy voice, “Y/n? What’s going on?”

“You were having a bad dream I think,” she said, laying back down to nuzzle into him. As she started to suck and kiss along his neck, she rotated her hips, grinding into his erection. Matthew moaned as his hands side down to her hips and raised his own up into the sensation.

Y/n smiled against his neck and asked, “so, you’re not still made at me?” She felt him suddenly still beneath her.

“Get up.”

“What,” she said, sitting up, only increasing the friction over his groan.

“Please, I need you to get off,” he said, trying to push her off of him.

“Matthew,” she exclaimed, as she struggled to get up. “Stop I’m trying.” He was almost in a panic as he tried to scramble out from under her, making it more difficult for her to get up.

“Come on! Get the fuck up,” he snapped at her.

Finally, she was able to get off the couch, stumbling before she straightened herself, and stared at Matthew in shock. She watched as he turned and sat up, resting his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. She couldn’t help it, but tears started to form in her eyes. As her chin started to tremble, her voice cracked when she asked, “what did I do? I don’t understand. Please help me understand… Matthew!”

Matthew sighed, and dropped one of his hands, but dragged the other one down his face and along his jaw. “Nothing… you didn’t do anything.”

“Then why are you treating me like this? I’m so confused. Did yesterday even happen, or are you some kind of Doppelgänger?”

Matthew sat silently, bouncing his knee nervously, as he stared straight ahead of him. 

“Matthew! Say something…. Anything. Explain it to me!”

“Will you lower your voice? We don’t need the whole studio knowing our business,” he snapped.

Y/n chuckled indignantly, shaking her head. “This was supposed to be the day of our knew beginning. You were supposed to break up with Vivian. Our fut-,” Y/n paused when it dawned on her. “You’re not leaving her. You’re choosing her over me,” she said quietly, hating how her voice broke and once again, tears began to spill over. She was shaking and she felt like the ground would swallow her whole.

“I tried… last night, I tried. But something came up and it changes things, so… we can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t… can’t do what? Be together? You convinced me to give in to you with a false promise. You… you tricked me. You lied to me so that I’d sleep you and mess around while she was gone. You never intended to break up with her, did you,” Y/n asked, quickly becoming hysterical as she spoke.

Matthew was up off the couch, in front of her trying to calm her down, talking the at the same time as she was.

“Y/n, please calm down. Its not what you think. No! I that’s not what I did, they weren’t false. I want us to be together. No, no! I didn’t. Y/n please stop! Listen to me, please! I would never do that to you. I love you. I had full intentions to leave her, I did. Baby, please listen.”

“You don’t love me. If you did you wouldn’t be choosing her over me. And don’t call me baby! I’m not your baby, she is,” she said, trying to push him away from her. 

“Y/n, please listen! I can’t leave her. It wouldn’t be right,” Matthew insisted. Seeing he wasn’t getting through to her, grabbed her arms and yelled “FUCKING STOP! Just listen.”

Y/n was breathing heavy and looking at him with wet wide eyes, her chin wobbling. She looked almost feral. He had never seen her like that and it was tearing him apart. She then spoke, very quietly and very slowly, “Fine… I’m listening. Explain way you can’t leave her. Make me understand, how you can claim to love me so much, that I’m your sun and moon, but you CHOOSE to be with another woman. I’m begging you…. Make me understand, Matthew.”

Matthew was quite for a moment. He knew he had to tell her. If he didn’t, she might walk out and he would never see her again. He just knew it. Swallow hard, his eyes started to fill with tears. He couldn’t look at her when he said it, so he let go of her arms and took some steps back and sat back down on the couch and worked up the nerve.

Y/n got impatient, waiting for his excuse, so she scoffed and turned to leave. She had her hand on the door knob when she heard him and something inside of her broke.

“She’s pregnant,” he said, quietly.

Narrowing her eyes, she asked, “Excuse me? I swore I just heard you say she is pregnant? The woman who is on the pill and you always use protection with, is pregnant? So, I guess you lied about that too. You know I used to think you were a different kind of man.” Y/n just chuckled and shook her head. “I guess I should congratulate you. You finally got that baby you where angling for.” She then walked out his trailer only to have to turn back around and get her boots. When she did, Matthew was sobbing on the couch, but looked up hopefully. 

“Y/n, please,” he asked, pitifully as he started getting up again.

Holding her hand up. She gave him a warning look and once again left the trailer.

Once she was at the bottom of the steps of his trailer, Y/n stomped on her boots and quickly made her way back into the studio. She just wanted to get her things and get the hell out of there. She was in such a hurry, that she nearly ran down Aj in the process. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she said holding up her hands before spinning back around, speeding off to props.

Aj noticed how red and puffy Y/n’s eye were and realized that she was really upset about something. Calling out after Y/n’s fleeing form she asked, “Hey! Y/n you ok?” She didn’t get an answer.

Aj looked in the direction Y/n had come from and narrowed her eyes. What did he do now? She really liked Matthew, he had quickly become a very close friend and she loved him like family, but when it came to his romantic decision, he was shit. 

Making her way over to Matthew’s trailer she knocked on the door only for it to swing open suddenly, revealing her very upset and very disheveled friend. 

“Y/n, plea- Aj, sorry I thought you were Y/n,” he said sniffing and wiping at his face. Swallowing he scrunched his face, before asking, “what’s up?”

“In,” she said, shooing him back into his trailer, and followed close behind him. Once inside, she closed the door and asked, “Do you need a hug? You look like you need a hug.”

Matthew released a full body sigh and nodded his head and opened his arms as Aj pulled him into a tight hug. She was rubbing his back when, once again he started to cry. When he calmed down, Aj pulled away and asked, “What happened? Do you want to talk about it?”

Matthew moves over to the couch and sat down, while Aj pulled a dinning chair in front of him and waited for him to speak.

“Vivian is pregnant. I don’t know how it happened. I’ve- we’ve been really careful.”

“Are you happy about the baby?”

“Am I a horrible person if I say no? I didn’t want this with Vivian. I was actually about to break up with her. She is sweet… well, she is sweet to me, but I don’t love her. I love Y/n. I’ve always loved her and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love another woman, but now I’m stuck with Vivian.”

“No, you’re not a horrible person. I thought Y/n wasn’t willing to date?”

“Well, I think things changed over the weekend. We may have hooked up… more then once. And that might actually make me a horrible person, but I had fully intended to break up with Vivian. But I think she knew it was coming.”

“Wait, you think Vivian knew you were planning on breaking up, and now she is suddenly pregnant? Are you sure she is pregnant?”

“Yes, I saw the test. It said pregnant.”

“Hmmm. So, I take it Y/n didn’t take the news very well?”

“No, not at all. She thinks that I tricked her just so she would sleep with me. That I never planned to break up with Vivian. But she is wrong. This weekend was the best three days of my existence. When we are together it feels like everything in the world is right. It’s not like that with Vivian. It feels like… work, but at a boring and tedious job that you don’t like.”

Aj was quite for a moment. While she didn’t exactly approve of Matthew not braking up with Vivian before messing around with Y/n, she was surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. If she had to be honest, she was rooting more for Y/n than Vivian. It wasn’t just because her friend’s heart clearly rested with the props girl. She had seen him interact with both and a blind man could see who he loved. Not only that, despite Y/n obvious flaws, she was friendly, sincere, and so much like Matthew, it was mind boggling. They were definitely better suited for each other. The handful of times she had meet Vivian or spent an extended period of time with her, Aj found her to be a bit off putting. She was beyond fake and she also seemed a bit manipulative when it came to Matthew. She would be one way when he walked away, but when he came back, she would be sickly sweet. That’s why she wasn’t too sure of this whole pregnancy thing.

“Hey Gube, can you do me a favor? Ask her to take another test next time you see her. Also, make sure you go to the doctor visits. And whatever do, don’t stop using protection just because she is already pregnant. Same business as always, okay.”

Matthew gave Aj a confused look, but nodded his head in agreement.

“As for Y/n, just give her time. She kinda has a hot head and it take her a minute to calm down. But, once she does, she is always really level headed. I think she will understand where your coming from and even if she doesn’t like it. And just because you and Vivian might have a baby doesn’t mean you have to be together. I think that it’s really nice that you’re trying to do the right thing, but you can’t force something that isn’t meant to be.”

Matthew was quite a moment while he processed everything his friend said. It made him feel a little better. Like not all was lost. But there was one thing still weighing on him. “I’m worried she is going to start drinking again,” Matthew said, quietly.

“Yeah, that’s understandable. Just keep a close eye on her. If you think she is drinking, talk to Kathryn. Y/n seems to care what she thinks. Now, get yourself put back together and let’s get you back to makeup. You look like shit and film break is almost over.”

Matthew just laughed nodding his head with a small smile. Talking to Aj really helped. Pushing his hair out of his face, Matthew stood and fixed his clothes and slipped on his shoes. Aj was already outside his trailer waiting for him, but as he descended the stairs, Y/n came bursting out of the studio doors. As she passed him, she gave him the most intense death stare he had ever seen.

He watches as she walked over to a car leaned down and talked through the front window.

“Matthew, give her space,” Aj tried to remind, but it was too late. He wasn’t listening.

As Y/n started to move to get in the back seat, he started towards the car. First with fast long strides and then a jog. “Where are you g-,” he tried to ask, before she slammed the back-passenger side door in his face. He pulled the door back open and repeated, “where are you going?”

“Shut the door, Matthew,” she demanded through clenched teeth.

“No, not until you tell me where you’re going.” They both just stared, stubbornly at the other.

“You’ve worked so hard and are doing so good. Don’t do this,” he finally pleaded.

“For fuck sake, I’m going to Ziggy’s. Not to a bar. Even though I want to, but I’m going to a meeting instead. Because I’m stronger than that. Thanks for the faith. Now, if you would please shut the fucking door.”

“I’ll shut it when I’m ready. I have faith in you, but I know that you’re upset and that’s when you have a tendency to be impulsive. I’m just asking you to please take a moment and think before you do something stupid.”

“You mean like you? Like when you knocked up Vivian? Something stupid like that?”

Matthew leaned into the car and asked, “has it ever occurred to you, that if it wasn’t for you punishing me in her direction, because you were too scared to be fucking loved, I wouldn’t even be in this mess? You would never have walked in on us making out, because there would not have been a date.” Y/n saw the moment Matthew realize what he had just implied.

“So, it’s all my fault.”

“No! No, that’s not what I meant!”

Y/n reached out and shoved Matthew out of the way of the door and slammed it shut and lock it.

He watched as the car pulled away, realizing he had just made it so much worse.

“FUUUUCCKKK!” Several people on the lot stopped what they were doing to turn and look at him after his outburst. Aj walked over to him and lead him back inside. 

*****

Y/n couldn’t believe him. How dare he blame her for his irresponsibility. She didn’t make him fuck Vivian without precautions. He made that choice, not her. 

Y/n gave the driver Ziggy’s address, then she pulled out her phone to let him know she was on her way over. All Y/n knew, was that she was thankful Kathryn let her leave early. When she had entered the props department, her sponsor knew right away that she was upset. Y/n didn’t really tell her everything, just that she was feeling a little overwhelmed and if it be ok for to start slow with a half day. Kathryn had agreed and Y/n ordered an Uber. 

She meant it when she said she wanted to drink. This is the most temptation to drink she has had since leaving the clinic. As they made their way to Ziggy’s it was like every bar and every liquor store caught her eye. It was becoming too much, so she pulled out her phone and tried to focus on something else. But it was no good. Her eyes keep flickering up at the passing businesses.

Who was he to tell her what she could and could not do? Without another thought, Y/n asked the driver, “Can you pull into that Thrifty Liquor up ahead?”

As her Uber pulled into a parking spot, Y/n just sat and stared at the store front. Her hands were sweating and she was breathing heavy. 

“Hey, lady. Your meter is running. You going in or not?”

“Right. Sorry,” she apologized, reaching for the door handle with a shaky hand. Just as she started to push the door open, her phone dinged. It was Ziggy. That’s all it took to bring her back to her senses and quickly slam the door shut again. 

“Go. Get out of here. Go to the first address I gave. Please, just hurry.” 

The driver just rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, sure thing lady.”

Y/n felt sick with herself. That was too close for her liking. Also, she fucking hated that Matthew was right.

*****

“Let just go back to your place tonight. I’ve been on a plane all day and I’m tired. Your apartment is closer,” Vivian suggested as she buckled up her seat belt. It was almost midnight and she figured it would be a good excuse. She wasn’t stupid. She knew what her boyfriend and his roommate had been up to the last three days, but she took care of that. She honestly just wanted to see Y/n’s reaction to her. She wondered if Y/n had been given the good news. Vivian couldn’t help it. The idea of the pain it would cause the other woman, knowing she was carrying Matthew’s baby, just delighted her. Y/n deserved it for trying to steal her boyfriend. For thinking that she could ever be good enough for him. Y/n was a fucking nobody, while Matthew and herself had the makings of a Hollywood power couple. She wasn’t going to let Matthew go without a fight. It wasn’t even that she particularly loved him. Not yet anyway. She just wasn’t going to lose to an alcoholic, basket case. All she had to do now was actually get pregnant. 

“Viv, I don’t know. I mean don’t you want to just spend some time alone together,” Matthew asked, trying to change her mind. He really didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. He and Y/n had parted on not so great of terms today and he new showing up with Vivian would just be rubbing salt in the wound. He was also worried that Vivian would want to have sex. Even on a normal day he didn’t feel comfortable doing it at the apartment. Now more then ever. And to be honest, the thought of sleeping with Vivian didn’t sound appealing.

“We can still be alone at your place. We can just go to your room.”

Fuck. She wasn’t going to budge. Sighing Matthew mumbled, “Fine, whatever.”

“What’s your problem? Why are you acting like that? One would think that you would be happy to see me and want to spend time with me. Especially, after the good news. Are mad that I’m pregnant? I thought you wanted kids.”

“I do… just not now.” Or with you he thought.

“So, what? Are you going to tell me to get an abortion?”

“What? No, that’s not what I saying. I meant that I wanted to wait until I was older, but things happen. So, I’m going deal with the cards handed to me and do what needs to be done. Though, to be honest, I’m not even sure how it happened. We’ve always used protection and you said you were on the pill. Are you sure you’re pregnant? Did you just take the one test?”

“Seriously, Matthew? Of course, I’m sure. It only takes the one test to be sure. And it doesn’t exactly make me feel very secure when you response to this whole is ‘I’m just gunna have to deal.’ As for how it happened, I don’t know or care. It just did. I for one, am happy about it. I think we will make a beautiful baby and I’m excited. So maybe you need to dig a little deeper in yourself and find some fucking enthusiasm.”

“Well, maybe we should stop at the store and get another test… just to be sure, you know.”

“God, Matthew! Fine, if it means that much to you, I’ll do another test. I have one, so we don’t need to stop.”

“Ok… it’s just to be sure. Aj said it’s always good to do more then one. That they can be wrong sometimes.”

“Not normally when they say your pregnant. It’s when they say your not that can be wrong, but whatever. It’s like you think I’m lying,” Vivian said, crossing her arms and looking out the window.

“I didn’t say that.” But part of him was thinking it.

“Well, you didn’t have to. Your insistence that I take another test says everything.”

Matthew sighed in annoyance. “That is not why I’m asking. Can you just stop? It been a really shitty day and I honestly would rather drop you off at home and leave, then deal with your attitude. So stop turning my fucking words around,” Matthew finally snapped.

Vivian turned and stared at him in shock. “You’re gunna talk to the mother of your child that way? Wow… you’re being a real dick, you know that?”

“Well, you’re being kind of a bitch, so I guess we are even.” After that they drove to his apartment in a tense silence.

*****

Once Y/n got to Ziggy’s, she fell apart and told him everything. About Matthew and her’s amazing weekend, especially the day before, and how he had changed over night. She also told him about the baby. How she felt he had been lying to her all along. That he had tricked her. Ziggy wasn’t having it though. At first, she was a little annoyed that he seemed to have Matthew’s back, but once he explained what he was thinking, she was wondering if she should have given Matthew a chance to talk.

Ziggy thought there was something fishy about the whole thing. After watching Matthew with her, he had now doubt that he was honest and genuine when it came to her. That he would not have risked damaging what he had with her. Y/n, now with a clearer mind, reevaluated her earlier argument with Matthew. Sure, he had been a dick, but he had just gotten life changing news. News that essentially, took away the one thing he had been fighting for, a future with her. He was understandably upset and she didn’t help the situation. She just keeps seeing him sobbing in his trailer, lost and heart broken. Then she had added the stress of having to worry whether or not she would run off to a bottle. God, she was a bitch. She wanted to call him, but felt like maybe she should just give it a little time. She would go to her meeting and once she got home, she would call him.

After their meeting, Ziggy and herself picked up something to eat and then headed back to her place. Once, home Y/n decided she would like to shower before she ate. She just needed to wash the day’s stress away. She told Ziggy to find something to watch and go ahead and eat. She promised she wouldn’t be long, before gathering some comfortable cloths and slipping into the bathroom. 

While waiting for the water to heat, Y/n undressed and washed off her makeup and the concealer on her neck. Staring at the now fading, but still visible marks she was actually saddened. Part of her didn’t want them to go away. Even if they do make her look trashy. They just reminded her that, to Matthew, she would always be his and she was okay with that. Sighing, she turned away from the mirror and stepped into the shower. As she washed herself, she tried to think about what she would say to Matthew when she called him. 

Meanwhile, outside the bathroom Ziggy was eating a slice of pizza and flipping through the channels. When he put down his plate and grab his coffee cup from in front of him, CA he accidentally sat back too fast causing it sloshed over the edge and spilled coffee down the front of his new, mostly white shirt. “Shit! Fuck, that’s hot!” Putting his cup back down he made his way to the bathroom door and cracked it open and hollered in, “hey, luv? I just dumped coffee down the front of myself. Do you have anything I can spray on my shirt?”

Sticking her head out from behind the dancing skeleton, shower curtain, she said, “yeah, under the kitchen sink. Spray it and put it in a shopping bag, which are also under the sink, and I’ll get you another shirt when I get out.”

“Ok, thanks doll.”

Shutting the door, Ziggy headed to the kitchen and did as Y/n had instructed, before returning to the living room. Sitting down he picked up his cup once more and mumbled to himself, “second times a charm,” and took a sip without incident. As he was leaning forward to place his cup back on the table, he could hear the distinct sound of a woman’s nagging, coming from outside the front door. 

Ok he was trying to give that boy the benefit of the doubt, but he is not about to drag the bitch through here, in front of Y/n. That is just some dirty shit. That boy is either cruel or stupid. He was gunna let Y/n slap him. It was only a matter of time. It is coming and he will enjoy it. 

When the door swung open, all that could be heard was Vivian complaining that Matthew was being too rough with her designer luggage. Turning, Ziggy couldn’t help but laugh at the scrawny boy trying to carry and pull four large to medium bags through the door. “Can you just stop talking, for like five minutes please,” he snapped. “It wouldn’t have hurt to have grabbed at least one of the fucking bags. And why did we need to lug it all up here for one night anyways? You could have left like 95% of this shit in the trunk.”

“First of all, my stuff isn’t shit. Second, you live in like, the shittiest part of town because “you like the esthetic,” and third I’m pregnant, I’m not aloud to carry heavy things anymore. Maybe, you should eat some protein and hit the gym. You’re looking thinner, it actually won’t hurt.”

Matthew just stood there staring at her with a blank look a moment before carelessly dumping all her bags on floor.

“Jesus, Matthew! It is scuffed your buying me replacements!”

Matthew just laughed and said, “sure I am.” That’s when he noticed Ziggy sitting on the couch watching them amusingly. “Hey, Zig. Where is Y/n?” Matthew’s eyes widened when Ziggy just narrowed his eyes at him before turning around.

“Who is that,” asked Vivian. 

Matthew gave her an annoyed look and said, “that’s Ziggy, Y/n and m-,” pausing when he saw the look he was receiving from the other man, “Y/n’s friend.”

“Ooooh…,” she then leaned close to Matthew and started to whisper loudly, “that’s her fellow boozer buddy?” Matthew just stared at her her in disbelief.

“Bitch, you know I can hear you right?”

“Excuse me? What did you call me?”

“No honey, excuse you.”

“Are you going to let him talk to me like that,” Vivian asked turning to Matthew.

Ziggy stood up and said, “Queen cunt, if you think boy wonder over here can stop me from saying something, you don’t know me!”

Matthew called out the other man’s name in reprimand when he called Vivian a cunt, but when he noticed the other man’s lack of clothing his eye narrowed. “Why don’t you have a shirt on?”

Just, as thing where getting heated, Y/n stepped out of the bathroom with her hair wrapped in a towel and in a pair of tiny cotton shorts that sat low on her hips and a thin white beater tank, that was tight and slightly see through. “Dude, who the fuck are y-,” she paused when she saw Matthew and Vivian. 

The way Matthew’s eyes kept bouncing back and forth between her and Ziggy gave her a bad feeling. She could she the wheels turning in his head and the conclusion that he was coming up with. She tried to make eye contact with him and discreetly shake my head, but now he refused to even look at her.

“Oh my god! What happened to you? Is that a bite mark on your shoulder,” Vivian asked rushing over to Y/n, but quickly turned to face her boyfriend, like she was expecting him to answer her. Matthew decided that there would never be a better time then now to carry her luggage to his room. Realizing she was wasn’t going to get an answer from her boyfriend she pinned Y/n with her eyes.

Y/n just rolled her’s and skirted past the other woman and sat on the couch while she said, “I’m sorry, I don’t see how it is really any of your business, but if you must know I hook up with someone this weekend. What can I say they were a little overzealous.”

As Vivian started to close in on Y/n, Ziggy blurted, “It was me. I did it. We hooked up. What can I say, she drove me crazy.”

Vivian narrowed her eyes at him, looking him up and down and then shook her head and said, “No…,” she then turned back to Y/n and continued, “and it’s my business. It’s my business, because my boyfriend, father of my child, was alone with you all weekend. He was radio silence the whole time. So, when I come back and see your neck like that, I can’t help but wonder.”

“We aren’t like that. It was Ziggy.”

Vivian leaned forward and said, “then prove it. Because this guy. He is more likely to try and fuck Matthew then he is you.”

Matthew walked out of the bedroom just in time to hear Vivian’s request. She was out of line. “Hey Vivian, stop. Guys you don’t have to prove anything. Vivian, they don’t have to do that, let it go.”

But Ziggy just laughed and said, “Bitch, don’t make assumptions about me. I don’t have a problem with proving it.” He then quickly yanked Y/n onto his lap and spun her so she was straddling him before roughly pulling her face down to his. He proceeded to kiss her with every drop of passion he possessed.

When he pulled away to start working down her neck, Y/n gasped in pleasure and rolled her hips as his hand slid up the back of her shirt. Her head fell back and her eyes were squeezed closed. She was amazed at how easy it was to pretend the she was on Matthew’s lap. But she was pulled from her fantasy, by the sound of Vivian’s voice. Clearly, she had been satisfied, because she was walking away and toward Matthew’s bedroom. When she passed Matthew, she grabbed his arm and drag him with her, but just before the door closed Matthew and her eyes locked. If looks could kill, Ziggy would be planning her funeral. Matthew was livid.

******

The door slammed behind Matthew. He couldn’t believe her. She lied about Ziggy’s sexual orientation; no gay man kisses a woman like that. Not only that, they had clearly been messing around before Vivian and he had gotten there. But that was fine, he could play the same game too. 

Turning, he watched as Vivian removed her shoes and began to undress. She moved over to one of her bags and pulled out a baggy t-shirt, sliding it over her head. As she pulled back the comforter and sat on his bed, she finally noticed him watching her. Still on the defensive, she snapped, “what?” 

He wasn’t about to just lay in bed all night, listening to Ziggy fuck the woman he wanted for himself. He was going to make Y/n listen to Vivian scream his name. See how she likes it flaunted in her face. He had been as considerate as he could, thus far, but that ends tonight. She wants to play dirty? Game on!

Without much warning Matthew ripped his shirt off over his head and kicked off his shoes, before rushing towards Vivian. She smiled when she realized his intentions, removing the shirt she had just put on, she crawled back to the center of his bed. Matthew crawled over her and captured her mouth with his.

******

Y/n jumped at the sound of Matthew’s door slamming shut. Ziggy stopped kissing her neck and asked, “Are they gone? Do you think they bought it? Because I should get an Emmy for that. Not that you’re not a tasty treat, you’re like cookies and I prefer chips.”

Sighing, Y/n crawled off of Ziggy’s lap. “Yay, I know. No worries. And they definitely bought it. Especially, Matthew. You should have seen the look he just gave me. It was almost murderous. Definitely a step up from the burrito boy incident.” 

“Sorry, honey. I didn’t think that through. That bitch just got under my skin. I mean the audacity of her. I still can’t believe he brought her here after everything that happened today.”

“Oh, I’m sure he tried not to. She was probably pretty insistent. Did you see the joy in her face when she informed me of Matthew’s new baby daddy status? She probably wanted to be here to hurt me.” Y/n then fell silent a moment. “Oh, by the way, sorry I got kinda carried away. It was like my mind was all, ‘this is Matthew,’ and I got caught up in the fantasy. I think it’s because you’re both tall and lanky.”

“It’s ok, no worries. To be honest for a moment I almost forgot I was gay,” he said jokingly. 

Y/n laughed and smacked him in the chest and said, “shut up, liar! Let me get you that shirt. I’ll be right back.” Y/n got up and headed to her bedroom and opened her closet. As she was digging, through for a shirt that would fit Ziggy, she heard a thump and giggling coming from the bedroom next to hers. She closed her eyes and swallowed back the lump that was forming. Quickly, wiping at the tears on her cheeks, she snatched a baggy black t-shirt and hurried back out to the living room. 

“Here this should work. I think it’s my brothers. I don’t know how I got it, but here ya go. So, did you ever find anything to watch? I’m gunna just heat up my piz-,” her speedy ramble was cut off, when Ziggy grabbed her arm and stood and pulled her into a tight hug. 

“Why are you crying, what’s wrong? Slow down.”

“I didn’t even realize I was even crying. I’m sorry.”

“Girl, you don’t have to be sorry. You were fine when you went to your room. What happened?”

“Its nothing… I could hear… laughter and a thumping coming from Matthew’s room.”

“Asshole. That is so shitty of him. See I was really trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I really was.”

“I’m not mad. He is just acting out of anger. The minute I walk out that bathroom the idea was in his head. He probably thinks I slept with because I was mad. Which you know, is something I’ve done so I can’t get upset with him for assuming it. The kiss didn’t help,” Y/n explained, shrugging her shoulders and staring sadly at his door.

“But still. He doesn’t have to be loud about it.”

“Oh, I pretty sure the loudness is the point. But, it’s fine. He is hers and I’ll just deal. Did you want to hang out a little longer?”

“I really want to, but it’s late and I work in the morning. You can come back to my place if you don’t want to stay here.”

“Hmm… na, I’m good. I have work in the morning too. I’ll just probably sleep out here with some ear buds. It’s all gravy.”

“Ok, call me if you need me. I love you girl,” he said, kissing her on the cheek and then gathering his stuff. As he got to the door he turned, and said, “don’t forget to lock this behind me. Also, your shirt it very sheer and we could all see your nips. Good play! Keep it up.” Ziggy then winked and slipped out the door, leaving her standing there with her mouth hanging open and her hands over her breasts. When the door closed, she scurried to the bathroom and flipped on the light and faced the mirror. Despite how the evening had gone, Y/n burst out into laughter. Maybe she should just start walking around half naked with her nipples out. That be great pay back.

******

Matthew sat on the edge of his bed lost in thought. He was 26. This kind of thing shouldn’t be happening. Things had been going well, but then little thoughts started popping into his head. Like how her skin wasn’t soft enough, breast not the right size, hips too narrow, hair color wrong, smells of cucumbers and mint, not jasmine and cherry blossoms. It was all wrong and his body said no. 

No matter what they tried, he would just barely stiffen and then back to limp. Vivian was starting to get frustrated, which made the whole situation less appealing. At this point even if he could wake up his dick, he wouldn’t want to use it. He had also calmed down a bit, and realized revenge fucking was what got him in the relationship with Vivian. 

“Do you want me try a blow job again. I was kinda starting to work. Maybe we can get it almost there and since I’m pregnant we can skip the condom. I bet the skin on skin contact will really get things going,” Vivian asked trying to slip her hand back into his boxers.

Grabbing her hand, Matthew stopped her. “No, I’m actually good, but I can always try and help you get there.” 

Vivian just groaned in annoyance and snapped, “no, Matthew. I wanted you to fuck me, but whatever. Just forget it. I’m just going to go to sleep. I’ll just see you in the morning.” With that she rolled over, turning her back to him.

Sighing, Matthew laid down as well. He was just thankful he couldn’t hear anything coming through the walls from Y/n’s room. He still couldn’t believe she lied about Ziggy. Had they been hooking up all along? No, he was pretty sure this was the first time. Either way he wasn’t happy about it. 

******

Y/n couldn’t sleep. She had spent most of her night curled on the couch watching late night infomercials. Around 2:30, she gave up and decided that maybe ice cream would make her feel better. Crawling off of the sofa, she padded her way to kitchen and opened the freezer. She selected a gallon of cookie dough and grabbed a spoon. Hopping up onto the counter, she began to silently drown her sorrows in the cardboard carton. She was so lost in thought she didn’t hear Matthew’s bedroom door open or noticed him leaning against the archway quietly watching her.

Matthew hadn’t found sleep, so he thought he would find something to eat, instead. He had skipped dinner and his stomach had been growling for the last two hours. When he got to the kitchen, he discovered Y/n on the counter. She looked really adorable, sitting on the counter, lightly kicking her dangling feet and fully concentrating on her cold creamy snack. After a moment, he cleared his throat, trying to get her attention.

Y/n jumped a little when she heard Matthew. When she looked up, he pushed off the wall and walked into the kitchen heading towards her. She quickly grabbed for the cartons lid.

“Sorry, let me get out of your way. Just give me a minute,” Y/n said, getting ready to slid off the counter. 

“No. Stay,” he said coming to stand in front of her so she couldn’t get down. “Can we talk? Is there anything left in that,” he asked, with an awkward smile.

“Um… yeah, to both questions. What did you want to talk about,” she asked, avoiding his eyes and reopening the ice cream container?

Matthew grabbed a spoon from the draw, next to Y/n legs. “I don’t know pick something. There are several things we should talk about. You and Ziggy, our fight, Vivian…”

“Ok, let’s start with me and Ziggy. There is no me and Ziggy. Nothing happened other then that kiss.”

Matthew, scowled and pursed his lips, before saying, “Then way was he on our couch shirtless and you came walking out half dressed? Also, that was some kiss for someone who is supposed to be gay.”

Y/n rolled her eyes and said sounding annoyed, “well, Ziggy spilled coffee down the front of his shirt while I was in the shower. It was a new shirt so he sprayed it and I was going to find him another shirt when I got out of the shower. You just got home before I could do that. Also, I’m completely dressed, so I don’t know why you would say that.”

“Ok, fine. You guys didn’t hook up, but the kiss? There is no way he is gay.” 

“Well, he is. I can promise you that. That kiss happened for two reasons. One, to take the heat off of you and two, because Vivian pissed off Ziggy and he didn’t want to let her win. The biggest issue was probably my reaction to the kiss… if I keep my closed… he felt just like you. In my mind he was.” Y/n said the last part quietly, while digging around in the carton with her spoon. She wouldn’t look up at him, so Matthew gently took the now, melting ice cream and placed it on the counter next to her.

“Look at me,” he demanded. After a moment she did and he could see tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m sorry I got upset. I don’t like any of this, just as much as you do.” 

“I know. I’m sorry about earlier today. I should have let you talk. I was selfish and I let my emotions get the better of me.” Her tears then started to fall. “You were right about me. I’m not strong. I’m sorry.” 

Reaching up to wipe her tears away and cup her face he said in a soft voice, “I didn’t say you weren’t strong. You’re one of the strongest people I know. What happened? If you slipped it’s ok. Just jump back on the wagon. Did you drink?”

She saw the concern on his face, only making her feel more ashamed. “No… but I almost went into a liquor store. I’m so disgusted with myself,” she said, starting to cry harder. Matthew wiggled his way between her thighs and pulled into a tight hug. He shushed her and ran his hands through her hair.

When she had finally calmed down, Matthew pulled back and said, “but you didn’t go in. You didn’t drink. To me that’s prof of how strong you are. You were tempted, but you fought it. Baby, you should be proud, not disgusted. I’m proud of you.”

Sniffling, Y/n wiped at her nose and nodded her head. He had a point, so she chuckled quietly and said, “Thanks.”

“You’re always welcome,” he said, smiling back at her. He then became serious and swallowed and said, “sorry about bringing Vivian back here. She insisted. I tried to convince her otherwise, but she wouldn’t cave.”

“I figured as much. So are you two done for the night. Can I peacefully sleep in my own room?”

“Umm, well. Seeing as nothing even happened. I’d say you’ve been safe to do so all night. Have you been on the couch?” He turned and looked into the living room, where his answer was in the form of her pillow and blanket gathered on the sofa.

“Something was happening in there. I heard it Matthew.”

He sighed before admitting, “ok so we may have tried. I was mad. But for some reason… it wouldn’t work.”

Y/n made a confused look. “I’m not sure I really want to know, but when you say it didn’t work… what does that even mean?”

Matthew, laughed with embarrassment and swallowed. “Umm… it’s probably just the stress of the day, but uh… it didn’t work. Never happened to me before. So… I don’t know. Maybe it’s broken,” he laughed in self deprecation. 

“So, you couldn’t…,” y/n asked, raising her point finger up to mimic a boner.

“Um, yeah, that’s what I mean. Couldn’t get it to do that. Complete limp dick.”

Y/n made a hissing noise by sucking air through her teeth and grimaced. “I’d say sorry, that sucks, but… I’m a horrible person and that low key gives me joy. So… maybe I’m a little sorry about that… yeah, no that’s a lie I’m not.”

Matthew chuckled at Y/n, “well, I didn’t really want to do it. It was purely for pay back purposes. So, I wasn’t that disappointed. I guess that makes me a horrible person too.” 

“Maybe it was just her… I mean it was working fine yesterday day.”

“Yes, it definitely was.”

Y/n just shrugged. They stayed like that quietly for a several minutes. With him standing close to her between her thighs. They keep finding reasons to touch each other. 

Matthew’s hand eventually fell upon her thigh, while the other reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. He then slid it to back of her head and leaned forward to rest his forehead on hers.

“I didn’t want this and I didn’t lie. I promise. I was so careful. I’ve always dreamed of doing this with you. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry Y/n,” he said, his voice cracking as he started to cry.

“Shhh, I know. I believe you. You don’t have to be sorry. You were right. It is kind of my fault. I should not have pushed you to date her. I love you and I forgive you. Don’t cry,” she begged.

“I love you too,” he said before pressing his lips to hers. As they kissed, he pulled her hips to the edge of the counter while she wrapped her legs around his waist. He moaned and ground in to her center, cause Y/n to gasp in return. 

“My theory may be correct. Nothing seems broken now,” she giggled has his lips moved to her throat and she tipped her head back. “We should probably stop.” She really didn’t want to.

Matthew whimpered, knowing she right. Grinding into her one more time, he pulled her lips to his and gently kissed her. After he rested his forehead on hers, once more and said, “we can’t do this anymore. I already miss you.”

“I’m gunna miss you too,” she said, pulling her head back to cup his face. “It’s going to be hard, but I’m going to try and respect your relationship with Vivian.”

“Well, a good start would be not wearing this shirt. Or at least put a bra on under it. You’ve got glorious tits and it’s very distracting.” Matthew reached up and cupped one of her breasts, dragging a thumb over her hardened nipple.

Y/n whined at the inviting sensation. “That isn’t go to help me stay respectful,” she said pulling his hand away from her breast. “I think we should go to our separate corners now. Before things get out of hand.”

Sigh, Matthew nodded his head in agreement he stepped back and helped her down from the counter. He then raised her hand and kissed the back of it. “Goodnight. I love you.”

She smiled at him sadly, “goodnight, Matthew. I love you too.” She then slipped away, gathered her pillow and blanket and then shut her door behind her. 

Sighing, Matthew tidied up the kitchen and returned to his room for another restless night.

*****

The last four weeks had been hell. She had done everything in her power to become pregnant, but nothing she did would work. Like as in his dick wouldn’t work. If it happened once, bummer, but ok. Twice, it became worrisome. But every time? It was ridiculous. He wasn’t even interested in trying any more.

The one time he gotten hard, he was in the shower taking care of himself. So, she knew it still worked... just not with her. The moment she slipped into the shower behind him and start kissing his back, it wilted like a fucking flower. Was she that repulsive? 

When she finally worked up the nerve to ask him what he was thinking about to get hard, he shrugged and said he woke up with it. So, she had figured that was the key. To wake up before him and hop on that shit. Which worked. He even seemed really into it until he fully woke and open his eyes. He had actually gotten mad at her. Told her that it was borderline non-consent! Really, what he had gotten upset about, was that she didn’t wrap it. The fact the he still wanted to use a condom had baffled her.

So now he wouldn’t even touch her. Other then kissing and cuddling, all bets were off. So, the only option she was left with was to find someone else to get her pregnant, and fast. So, she convinced her costar, Scott, to knock her up. She promised him she would not go after him. That he would be responsibility free. She explained that her boyfriend thought she was pregnant, but she wasn’t and now he wouldn’t sleep with her, so she needed to get pregnant by someone else. It really didn’t take too much convincing. She had been ovulating so she was pretty sure it would work. 

So here she was with a real pregnancy test, waiting for the result to pop up. She was nervous. If she wasn’t pregnant, she would lose Matthew. She had no doubt about it. 

He often talked in his sleep and when he did, he talked about Y/n. She was pretty sure the only reason he stayed hard for as long as he did that morning, she crawled on top of him, was because he was dreaming of Y/n.

He is always watching her too. She didn’t think he even realized it. Whenever Y/n moved about the apartment his eyes would hungrily follow. It didn’t help that she would walk around in the most revealing things she could find. Just three days ago she walked across the living room dripping wet, wrapped in a towel. She thought Matthew was literally going to start drooling.

Vivian often caught Y/n watching him as well. It was almost like a game for them and when they played, it’s like they forgot there was even anyone else in the room. They weren’t fooling anyone. 

Which is why she had practically moved in. She didn’t dare leave them alone. She would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to find them both, sitting very close on the couch, watching old black and white sitcoms and sharing ice cream. Matthew would never do something like that with her. 

Then there were the times she would come into the room and they would be standing, once again, very close having a whispered conversation. A conversation that would come to a quick end when they saw her. They would just suddenly walk away from each other like nothing was happening. Which is why she was starting to pester Matthew about Y/n moving out. They would need the spare room for their baby. He wasn’t very receptive to the idea, as of yet. 

She was so worried about what went on in his trailer at work. The fact that they rode to work together everyday and that spent all that time durning the day all alone, just stressed her out. That’s why, whenever she gets a chance, she surprises him on set. 

As she sat and thought of ways to try and wedge some space between the two, her timer went off. Switching it off she pick up the pregnancy wand. Oh, thank god! She was pregnant! One less thing to worry about.

*****

Tonight, was the night of the Criminal Minds cast and crew Halloween party and Y/n was so nervous. It was the first time she would be in an environment that alcohol would easily be accessible, since her clinic stay. Which is why she was bringing Ziggy. He didn’t really like to be places where he was exposed to alcohol either, but they figured that, if they stayed close to each other, then they would be ok. They would keep each other on the straight and narrow. 

Besides the fear of be tempted by alcohol she had been looking forward to it. Her costume was going to rock Matthew’s world. She just hoped he would recognize the dress. Sure, she had it cut and re-designed a bit, but it was still clearly the same dress. She was surprised it still actually fit. Other then getting a little taller and curvier, she hadn’t done a whole lot of growing in the last 12 years. 

She had decided to transform her Mortica dress into and Elvira dress. The bodice was cut into a much deeper V. Almost all the way down to the waist. The sleeves were left as is, the train was removed and a slit was cut all the way up to the top of her hip. She had gone to a local Halloween store to pick up a wig and to find a belt that would work. She decided that she would wear some fish net tights with it and a pair of very high black stilettos. 

She had picked up her dress from the tailor, earlier that day and when she walked in Matthew had tried to corner her to take a peek. “Let me see this super secret costume! I’m dying to know. At least give me a hint. Is it spooky?”

“Some would say there is a spooky quality to it. But that’s all I’m going to say. You’ll just have to wait for the big reveal,” she said, slipping past him to her room. She felt kinda bad for him. He wasn’t getting to be spooky this year, on account that Vivian didn’t like scary costumes. They gave her nightmares. So he choose to be Doc from Back to the Future. While Vivian was going to be a sexy nurse. Excuse her eye roll.

She had about two hours before Ziggy would be there to pick her up. All she had to do was shower. Apply her makeup and wig, then get dressed. Heading into the bathroom all she brought was her makeup bag, a change of underwear, her fishnet tights, and the clothes that was on her body. Once she was done her shower, she dried off and put on her lace thong and her fishnets stockings. She then dryer her hair and applied her Elvira makeup. When she was done, she went to grab her robe off the back off the door, only to discover, it wasn’t there. Fuck, she must have for gotten to put it back. Sighing she grabbed her crop top she had been wearing before her shower and pulled it back on, before slipping out of the bathroom and quickly walking to her room.

The sound of her boyfriend chocking on a sip of coffee, is what drew Vivian’s attention to Y/n scurrying across the living room, painted up like a whore, in a skimpy thong and fishnets. Practically leaving nothing to the imagination. She really could not believe this bitch. She was getting bold. Well, once Matthew saw her, in her costume, he would forget all about Y/n, because she is going to look so hot. All men fantasize about a dirty nurse. Plus, he was going as a doctor so they were going to be adorable together. Maybe, the costume would fix his little problem. Get some drinks in him, loosen him up, maybe come home and play doctor. 

“Now that she is done hogging the bathroom, I’m gunna start getting ready. I can’t wait to see your costume, doctor.” With that she winked, before collecting her things from his room and shutting herself off in the bathroom.

Matthew waited until he heard the lock engage before shooting up off the couch and practically running over to Y/n’s room. Quietly, he rapped on her door, while adjusting the hard on he developed at the sight of her ass in those fishnets. He was honestly hoping to catch another glance, but when her door cracked open, she was encased in her fluffiest of bath robes. 

Y/n just chuckled to herself when she saw Matthew’s little pout. Clearly, he was hoping for a second glance. Smiling innocently at him she asked, “can I help you sir?”

Matthew’s dick twitch at her words. God, could she help him? The last several weeks have been torture and she kept teasing him. At first it was fun and even a little funny, but now he felt like he was barely restraining himself from throwing her over the nearest surface and fucking her within an inch of her life. He didn’t think he would even care if Vivian was in the room. They were always flirting and you could cut the sexual tension with a fucking knife. 

“Open up the robe, let me see again.”

“Hmmm, I better not. I’m sorry about before. That time was not intentional. I thought my robe was in there, but I never brought it back after my last shower.”

Matthew literally, whined and his pout deepened. “Baby, please. It will give me something to think about when I’m taking care of this,” he said, grabbing her hand and placing it over his erection.

Y/n gasped and would be lying if his forward behavior didn’t just make her pussy throb. She sallowed before looking at the closed bathroom door. Looking back at Matthew, she locked her eyes with his and gave his cock a squeeze. She watched as his eyes fluttered shut for a moment and he moaned.

Before she knew what had happened his hand shot out and pulled the loosely tied belt undone and pulled her robe open. She had taken off her shirt so he now also had the view her breasts. “Squeeze me again, Baby.”

She didn’t know why, but she did as he demanded, this time with more of a rubbing motion. Which he must really liked because he pushed his way into her room and she found herself with her back pushed against the door. His hands were trying to push off the robe and when he was finally successful, he spun her so she was now facing the door. She felt his palm flattened between her shoulder blade pushing her upper body flush against the wood. He then undid his belt and pants with one hand, while one nested between her shoulders, slid down her spine and over her hips. He roughly pulled her hips so her ass was sticking out.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” 

“Are you going to fuck me? Because if so you better hurry. I don’t think there is much time.”

“No, I’m not going to fuck you. I’m going to jack off to the mouth-watering sight in front me. Do me a favor baby, move that thong out of the way so I can see that wet pussy.”

Something about this whole situation was making her extremely turned on. Her legs were even trembling. Doing as he requested, Y/n moved her thong to the side and tilted her hips back even more, so Matthew could get a better view. When she heard his moan, it sounded further away. He must be sitting on her bed. She could hear the sound of him moving his hand along his cock, only increasing her ache. He really needed to touch her.

“I want to see you finger yourself, baby. Shove those sweet little fingers in your pussy. Let me see you scissor them. That’s my girl. So good. I want to hear you. I miss the sounds you make when I’m fucking you.”

Y/n gasped and moaned as she quickly brought herself to the edge. Her whole body started to twitch. His final words were what pushed her over the edge.

“Let me see you come, Y/n. I want to see you fail apart so I can lick it clean. When I cum, it gunna be on that delicious ass, you’ve felt it necessary to tease me with.” Matthew watched as she came. God, he loved it when she orgasmed. 

He was very close and being true to his word he got back up walked over to her. Squatting behind her he licked her from clit to entrance. And she let out a desperate keening noise. He decided that the fishnet was in the way, so he momentarily let go of his dick and ripped a hole in her stockings right over her pussy. He then continued to taste everything she had to give him. When he was about to cum, he quickly stood and shot his load all over the globes of her ass. 

When he was spent, he clumsily stumbled back and grabbed a towel off her floor and shuffled back over to her to gently wipe her clean. When he was done, he tossed the towel back to the floor and quietly said, “turn around.”

Straightening herself, Y/n slowly turned to face him, leaning her back against the door. “You feel better now?”

Matthew didn’t say anything, just put himself away and then looked up at her. Her hair was a mess and her skin flushed. She definitely would have to touch up her makeup. But mostly, she was beautiful. It was almost physically painful how beautiful she was. Slowly, he stepped closer to her and dipped his head, pulling her into a slow and passionate kiss. When he pulled away, he nuzzled her nose with his. “Are you good? Do you need me to help get off again? I kinda forgot I was eating you out,” he chuckled at his own forgetfulness.

“No, I’m good. I can take care of it. You should probably go get ready.”

“Nope, I don’t except that,” he said, sliding two fingers inside, and started pumping while pressed against her clit. He could tell it would take too long. Her walls were already fluttering. He pecked her lips once more and then dropped back to his knees. He removed his fingers long enough to lift her leg and place her thigh over his shoulder. When he reinserted his fingers, he added a third and wrapped his mouth around her clit.

“Oh! Fuck! Ahhhh, Matthew!”

“Shhhhh,” he said pulling back, only to quickly continued his attention to her clit. He moaned as both her hand tangled in his hair and she started to grind her pussy against his face as her walls tighten and her legs began to quake. After her orgasm had past, he supported her as she slid down door to the floor in an exhausted and satisfied mess. He chuckled at her dazed smile and kissed her again. She lazily kissed him back and when he pulled back, she mumbled, “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too baby. Hey, but honey I really have to go now. I’m sorry. I’d really love to stay in here with you forever.”

Nodding she got one all fours and started to crawl around him over to her bed. The site causing him to whimper. “Fuck Y/n, your going to kill me.” Quickly looking away from the tempting sight she was giving him he stood and peeked out the door. The bathroom was still closed, looking back one more time he blew Y/n a kiss, and said, “I love you, see you in a little bit.” He then winked and slipped out her room. Running to the kitchen he washed his hands and face and then gargled some water. After drying his face, he ran to his room to get ready.

***** 

Matthew seemed oddly chipper, when she came out of the bathroom. She knew the Halloween was his favorite holiday, but he now had a smile on his face that he couldn’t seem to wipe off. It was definitely suspicious. Not to mention annoying. Like someone told a joke, but she wasn’t in on it. 

She was also annoyed by the fact that, when he said he was dressing up as Doc, he didn’t mean a doctor, but the old guy from those stupid time travel movies. Nor did he seem as impressed with her costume, as she thought he should be. When she came out and did a little spin for him, he just gave her a little half smile and said, “cool.” That’s all she got before he turned back to his sketch pad and that infuriating smile returned to his face.

But it only got worse when he heard Y/n’s door start to open. He quickly dropped his book on the coffee table and stood up and faced her door. When she walked out, she actually heard him draw in a shaky breath. Who was she even supposed to be? She just looked like a gothic vampire bimo. It’s like her boyfriend didn’t even care she was in the room anymore. 

When Y/n did a little pose, exposing the full length of one of her legs and stretching her arms out, as if to say, “ta da,” Matthew made a chocking sound. Y/n threw her head back and produced and evil laugh. Which was appropriate considering she was evil. 

“Wait! Oh my god. Is that,” Matthew rushed towards her and she just beamed at him, as he ran his hand down the belled sleeve of her dress.

“It is! Can you believe it still fit? I mean I did have it altered a bit, but yes it’s the same dress.”

Matthew laughed, and asked, “Can you imagine what my mom would have said if you came to the car like this?”

“She would have sent me back in the house and told he to find a sheet. That I was going to be a ghost instead. She could barely handle Mortica. She would not have been able to handle Elvira.”

“That or she would have yanked me back in the car and drove away as fast as she could.”

They both started laughing. “You look amazing. I mean really!”

“I’m just happy I found another pair of fishnets in the back of my dresser drawer.”

The corner of Matthew’s mouth twitched up ward and without skipping a beat he asked, “oh no, did you get a snag in the other ones.” 

Y/n eyes sparkled mischievously and she replied, “you could say that.”

Neither were aware of the death stair they were receiving from Vivian from across the room. She just knew something happened while she was getting ready. That was the reason for Matthew’s shit eating grin. She also didn’t like how her boyfriend kept finding reasons to touch the other woman. She was very thankful when there was a knock on the door, dragging Y/n’s attention away from Matthew.

As she was walking to the door Y/n acknowledged her by saying, “Oh, Viv, I like the costume! It’s very… original.” She then gave her an insincere smile and opened the door. 

“Oh my god! Gurl look at you! I could just eat you up! You are so tasty,” Ziggy gushed when he saw her.

“Why thank you! I love your costume as well. If I know you were If I know you were going to dress up a Billie Butcherson from Hocus Pocus I would have dressed up as Sarah Sanderson.”

“No, you make a much better Elvira!”

“Well, thank you again. Just let me grab my purse and we can go.”

“I really like your costume, Ziggy,” Matthew said giddily. “I usually go spooky too.”

“Hey, Doc is the shit! You pull him off well!”

Matthew laughed, and said, “thanks man!”

“No problem, sexy,” Ziggy said winking at him.

“Ready? We’ll see you guys there!”

When the door shut behind them Matthew started to slip on his shoes while he asked, “you ready?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you still knew I was here. Did you really have to gush over her costume like that? All I got was a half-hearted ‘cool’,” Vivian nagged.

Matthew sighed, and said, “look, I’m sorry. I thought it was cool that it was the same dress she wore to our Halloween dance when we were kids. She put together an awesome costume. Sexy nurse is kinda played out. I’m sure there be at least three other sexy nurses at the party. But you look good, really. Very beautiful.”

Vivian rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse and said, “let’s just get this stupid night over with,” before storming out the door. She completely missed Matthew scowling at her. 

******

Matthew had decided he wasn’t going to let Vivian ruin the night. He tried to make it fun for her, but all she wanted to do was sit at a table and complain. So, he told her he was going to go mingle and that she could come with him if she wanted. She chose to stay and pout. Fine by him. 

As he made his way around the party, he talked to Shemar, who was dressed as a beach bum. So, basically, he was wearing swim trunks and an open shirt with a pair of flip flops. Any excuse to show off his abs. Once he started to talk about how hot Y/n looked, Matthew decided to was time to move Son. He even chatted with Aj and Kirsten about their costumes. Aj’s being an Angel while Kristen’s a female Mad Hatter, but he had to admit, he was a little preoccupied trying to scope out where Y/n Ziggy had gone. He really wanted to hang out with them. So, after he had given the girls a respectable amount of mingle time, he asked, “hey have either of you seen Elvira and a tall, skinny zombie any wear?”

“Yeah, they were over by the Dj booth earlier,” Kirsten told him. Smiling, he gave her a peck on the cheek and hurried off in that direction. “Do you think they are still sleeping together,” she asked Aj.

“Knowing them, probably. She literally makes him stupid. But I think she is better for him then Vivian.”

As Matthew moved through the crowd, his eyes scanned the area for Y/n. He was about to give up and look else were when his eyes locked on her. Smiling ear to ear, Matthew hurried over and came up behind her. He slid his arm around her waist and blew a raspberry on the side of her neck, causing her to jump, but then fall into a fit of giggles. 

Turning in his arms, Y/n look up at him and asked, “where have you been all night?”

“Sitting at a table with Debbie downer. What have you and Ziggy been up to? Wait? Where is Ziggy?”

Leaning back, Y/n scanned the food table and pointed. “He he has become smitten with that caterer,” she said, laughing.

“Then who was keeping you company,” he asked, looking over her shoulder to see who she had been talking to, when he butted in, “Doug, from the sound crew?”

“Maybe… he was just telling me he liked my costume. That he is a big Elvira fan.”

“Yeah, I bet he is,” Matthew said, glaring at the back of the other man’a head.

Y/n giggled and reached up to turn his view back to her. “Don’t be that way, I’m not even interested.”

He smiled slowly and rubbed his hand along her spine and dipped close to her ear and asked, “then who are you interested in?” When he pulled back to look at her, she was looking at him from beneath her lashes and had caught her bottom lip between her teeth. He couldn’t help but release a moan, she looked amazing. His hand slid down to her lower back pulling her pelvis against his. 

Y/n smiled as she felt the erection being pressed against her hip. Hissing, she licked her lips, before saying in a seductive voice, “Well, I think it’s safe to assume whom you’re interests lie.”

“Forever and always. What can I say? I’m feeling nostalgic. Remember the last Halloween party we went to? I believe I finally got to second base. It would have been so much easier if the dress looked like this.”

Y/n laughed and said, “maybe we should sneak off this time, too. I’ll let you get to third this time.”

“Only third? I was kinda hoping for a home run,” he said, giving her a dirty smirk and bouncing his eyebrows.

Y/n just raised an eyebrow of her own and gave Matthew a look.

Matthew pouted, and agreed, “fine, third it is.”

Y/n just giggle at his bottom lip sticking out and leaned forward and captured it between her teeth. Matthew groaned and she released his lip, only for him to grab the back of her head and kiss her hungrily. When they pulled away for air, she breathlessly said, “actually, how about we play those bases by ear.”

Matthew threw his head back in laughter. God, he loved this woman. Taking her hand, he said, “let’s go tell Ziggy we are stepping out and the find somewhere to sneak off to.” Y/n just nodded her head enthusiastically and they took off. 

They had both forgotten that they were surrounded by many eyes, during their exchange. One pair, in particular, was not very happy about what they had seen.

*****

Vivian hadn’t been feeling well, her morning sickness tended to be more of an evening sickness. After throwing up in the restroom, all she wanted to do was go home and curl up with Matthew. Not that he really did that with her anymore. She often felt invisible when Y/n was around. And even when she wasn’t, he only seemed to tolerate her. Sex had been completely off the table for a while now and she couldn’t remember the last time he kissed her. She was starting to think she made a mistake putting all her eggs in the Matthew basket. 

Which was why she still had Scott as a back up. They were still sleeping together on occasion. The pregnancy hormones have made her increasingly horny and since Matthew wouldn’t touch her, she figured what did it matter. The only problem was, Scott was starting to get a little attached. He would constantly follow her around set or be waiting outside her trailer. He always wanted updates on the baby. If only Matthew was as interested. But Scott’s peeking interest was making her a little nervous. She just hoped that, if she could get Y/n out of the picture, then maybe she could get Matthew to refocus on her and the baby. 

After leaving the restroom, she planned on finding Matthew and asking if they could go home, but she couldn’t find him. That was until, she saw him talking to the two blonde women from his show. She could never remember their names. But as she started to head in their direction, Matthew shot off into the crowd.

Huffing, Vivian quickly followed in the direction Matthew headed. She had lost sight of him momentarily, but when he fell into her sight again, she saw him wrap his arms around Y/n waist and kiss the other woman’s neck. Vivian was frozen in rage. She wanted nothing more then to stomp over and rip Matthew off her, but part of her was curious to see how far they would go. If could get more ammo, she would have enough to demand that she move out. So, Vivian decided to sit back and let them hang themselves and they did just that. The moment he ground himself into her and they kissed she had them. There was no doubt in her mind they had either fucked or where still fucking, behind her back. 

Vivian watched as they ran off, and started to follow a little way behind. She picked up her pace as they were heading for the back-door entrance and right when Y/n pushed the door open, she called out, “Matthew! We need to talk NOW!”

The pair spun around in surprise, and Matthew yanked his hand from Y/n’s. He opened his mouth to say something, but Vivian cut him off.

“No! I said now!” She watched as he swallowed and looked back at Y/n. The other woman slowly shut the door. They at least had enough sense to look ashamed. Matthew slowly walked towards her and when he reached out to touch her arm, she pulled away to avoid him. Walking out of the hallway that lead to the exit, Vivian found a quiet corner for them to talk. 

“Vivian, it’s not what it looked like. We-,”

“Stop! I saw everything thing. I saw you walk up behind her and wrap your arms around her waist. I saw you kiss her neck. I-,”

“I didn’t kiss her neck.”

Vivian just glared at him a moment before continuing, “I saw you with your hands all over her. Grinding her up against you. I saw the lip bite and the kiss that followed. So really, it doesn’t matter if you kissed her neck or not. Because I saw so much more. You can not sit here and look me in the eye and tell me that you two have never fucked. In fact, you know what I think? I think that other then me, she is the only other person you fucked. Which is way she lost her shit when she found out about me.” Matthew wouldn’t look at her. His gaze was trained at his feet. “I also think that you two where fucking the whole time I was out of town. That you’re the reason her neck looked the way it did. I’m also pretty sure that you’re still fucking her.”

“We’re not. We- we hav- “

“So, you’re going to stand here and continue to lie to me?”

Matthew rubbed his face with his hands and swallowed. Licking his lips before he began, he said, “Ok... yes we’ve slept together. She… she was my first. It was only supposed to be a one-time thing. But it wasn’t. Then you and I started dating and nothing happened between her and I… until you left. I- I was going to break up with you. I didn’t want to hurt you or lead you on. But you told me you were pregnant and I’m trying to do the right thing. Really, I am. Me and her haven’t done anything since… I- I just got… I don’t know. Anything I say at this point is going to sound bad, but when I saw that dress it reminded me of when we were kids. Before everything got fucked up and I just wanted to feel that way again. Vivian, I’m sorry.”

“Well, if you want to do the right thing, then this is what’s going to happen. You are going to go find Y/n and you are going to tell her that she has until Monday to be out of that apartment.”

“WHAT? NO! I- I can’t do that! She has no where to go!”

“Sure, she does, she has a sponsor. She has Ziggy. Hell, she even makes enough money to get her very own place if she wanted. She doesn’t have to live with you. You want her to. But not anymore.”

“You can’t make me kick her out, Vivian. She is in recovery right now. Something like this… it could totally rock her. She barely made it threw the pregnancy news.”

“Too bad, so sad. She should have kept her hands and her cunt to herself then.”

“I’m not going to do this. I refuse!”

Vivian was quiet a moment. Angrily smiling at Matthew, she warned, “tell me, what do you think the media would say if somehow they found out about you, cheating on your pregnant starlet girlfriend? Do you think they would take kindly to you or the drunken home wrecker? Do you think they wouldn’t dig into her past? It’s not hard. Hell, I already have a little bit.”

Matthew started at Vivian in horror. She was going to use his love for Y/n against him. She new he would never let that happen to her. “Wha- what are you talking about? You can’t do that to her. She… she doesn’t deserve it.”

Vivian completely ignored Matthew and continued, “Did you know she has a criminal record? Four DWIs. The last one she hit a cop car. Why did you think she doesn’t drive? That it was a personal choice? Oh no, she is actually lucky she didn’t go to jail. She had to pick up trash in an orange little jumpsuit by the side of the road. I’m sure she looked cute. She was also on probation for a year and lost her license for five. I’m sure if I kept digging, I’d find so much more.”

Matthew didn’t know any of that, but he didn’t care. She was getting better and trying to move on from her past. He loved her no matter what. 

When Matthew just stared at her she said, “Look she either goes or her life and your career are going to be destroyed. I don’t particularly care if you love her or me. But I’m not going to share you and I’m not going to be pregnant and alone, so you either start acting like you care about me and your baby or I destroy you and your precious Y/n. You make the choice.” Vivian just stood there and stared Matthew down hard. His eyes started to water and his chin started to tremble.

“Of for fuck sake! Why are you crying? Be a fucking man! Do what you need to do. Make a choice, Matthew!”

Swallowing, he wiped his face and nodded his head. In a shaky voice he said, “I’ll go talk to her. I’ll be right back.”

Slowly, Matthew headed over the the food table, where Y/n was talking to Ziggy.

“Hey! Did she break up with you? Are you finally free to live your life the way you want,” Ziggy asked, when Matthew approached them? 

Matthew just looked at the other man sadly and subtly shook his head. He then looked over to Y/n’s nervous stare. Quietly, he said, “We need t-to talk.”

Ziggy watched as they walked away to find somewhere quiet. He had a bad feeling about this. 

Matthew led Y/n back to the hall they were previously confronted in and when he turned to face her, he wouldn’t look directly at her. They stood there silently for what felt like forever. Y/n wished he would just say something. For every second that passed in tense silence, the worse the tight, ball of fear, seeded in her stomach.

“Matthew,” y/n asked, in a tentative voice. His name seemed to shake off whatever was blocking his ability to speak, but once she heard what he had to say, she wished she could shove it back in place.

“Y/n, I’m sorry, but you have until Monday to be moved out of the apartment. Vivian said that you couldn’t live there anymore.”

“You- you’re kicking me out? I- I don’t understand. I have no where to go, Matthew. I’ll need more time then Monday. Why are you letting her do this?”

Matthew sighed, “she is threatening to expose us to the press. It won’t be pretty if she does… especially not for you… and I don’t want that to happen. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m doing this for you.”

“For me? That’s a joke Matthew. Just tell her no. Stand up to her!”

“I told her no, but she’s been digging into your past.”

Y/n looked nervous, and asked, “What did she find?”

“That you have a criminal background. It doesn’t matter to me, but why didn’t you tell me? I would have rather of found out from you.”

“Because it’s old shit. Just some DWIs, petty theft, public intoxication. I paid my dues for all of them and I didn’t want you to see me differently.”

“And I don’t. I know things have been difficult for you. Which is why I’m doing this. I might know that you’re more then your past mistakes, but people who don’t know you won’t. If she goes public, they will tear you apart.”

“I’m nobody, Matthew. They won’t care. I don’t matter.”

Matthew shook his head and chuckled in frustration. She wasn’t listening. “You might be nobody, but I am. I’m considered an up and coming star. And while that doesn’t mean a damn to me, it does other people. The paparazzi will be outside our door and outside the studio, just waiting to bombard you with questions and scathing remarks. They will dig up every little piece of dirt that they can find and they will throw it in your face. I know you’re strong baby, but I don’t know if you’re strong enough for that.”

“That day in the tub, you yourself told me I should worry about what other people thought about me. Just you. You know me and that’s all that matters.”

“That was before I knew she was pregnant.”

“So, what? It doesn’t apply anymore?” Y/n was starting to get angry, but she was trying to keep her temper at bay so she could make him reconsider. It wasn’t working.

“Don’t fucking be like that! Why can’t you see I’m trying to protect you? I don’t want this anymore then you do.”

“Then don’t do it! I want to be with you. Just you and me. Leave her and we will get through it together,” she pleaded, stepping closer to him, reaching for his hand.

Matthew quickly backed up, out of her reach. He knew if she touched him, he wouldn’t be strong enough to do this. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Love you? She doesn’t love you. I do. That has never and will never change. Be with me…”

Matthew turned away from her and ran his hand down his face. When felt her hand his back, he spun around and snapped, “I said stop. Why do you have to make this so fucking hard? We wouldn’t be in this mess if you wouldn’t have been fucking teasing me the whole time. Giving me the come hither looks and walking around half dressed.”

Y/n stepped back. “Oh no! You are not going to put the blame on me! You were enjoying it just as much as I was! If you didn’t you would have told me to stop. Nor did I tell you bust in my room today and cum all over my ass or shove you face in my pussy! That was all you! Maybe you shouldn’t have knocked her up!”

“Well, I wish I didn’t, but I did and now you have to leave!”

Y/n just pinned him with angry eyes and said with clenched teeth, “You know what? You’re a fucking coward. We could get through this together. It doesn’t matter what people thought about us. We would have each other, but fine. I’ll leave. But you can, just forget I exist. Fuck you, Matthew. I wish are paths never re- crossed. At least I knew what to expect from Ian.” She then shoved passed him and ran out of the hallway.

“Fuck! Y/n!” Matthew called after her, but she was already gone.

*****

Y/n pushed her way throw the crowd on her way to the bathroom. She was not going to cry in front of all these people. When she broke through a cluster of dancers, she found herself standing right in front of the bar. The bar that was currently unmanned. It took her only two beats to rush over to it and lean over the counter and snatch the first bottle of liquor she could reach. Quickly, slipping it into her purse, she hurried to her previous destination.

Once she was locked away in a stall, Y/n placed her purse in her lap and just stared at it like it was going to bite her. She was breathing hard and her stomach was in knots. 

What was the point of not drinking? The main reason she quite was to better herself, so she felt worthy of Matthew. She had just practically begged him to be with her. What he’s been saying he wanted all along. And now… Y/n choked on a sob and then blow out a shaky breath, in an attempt to calm herself. She swallowed as she slowly opened her purse and pulled out the stolen bottle. It was tequila. A very cheap one at that and even though it was her least favorite kind of alcohol, at that moment, she didn’t care. Fuck sobriety!

Just as she was about to open the bottle, Y/n heard the restroom door open and Aj’s voice called out her name. 

“Y/n, you in here?”

Y/n’s hand froze, and she answered, “Y- yes.”

“Ok, I was just asking because your zombie friend was looking for you. I told him I thought I saw you hurry in here. You ok? Do you want me to tell him you’ll be out in a minute?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be right out.” When she heard the door close, Y/n quickly refastened the bottles lid and slipped it back into her purse. If she drank it now, Ziggy would know. She decided to go out there and ask him to bring her home and once she was locked away in her room, she would drink herself into a stupor.

After cleaning up her face, she headed for the door, pausing as she realized that her earlier thought was incorrect. It was no longer her room or home. Closing her eyes, Y/n swallowed back a sinking feeling, then headed out to find Ziggy.

*****

Matthew found Vivian where he left her. “I’m hope you’re happy. You’ve just cost me my oldest, closest friend.”

“Well, then you shouldn’t have stuck your dick in her.”

“What do you think you’re going to achieve from all of this? Did you think by getting rid of her, you would somehow win me over?”

“I was hoping so. I’m not a bad person Matthew. You never really gave me a chance. I’m just trying to fight for what is mine.”

Matthew laughed bitterly and stepped close to Vivian and said through clenched teeth, “well, you can kiss that hope goodbye. And just so you know, you were never going to have a chance. I was never going to love you. You were just a place holder until Y/n could except that she was good enough to have me. She pushed me to you, hoping I’d move on from her. She thought she would hurt me. But look who is hurting who now. So, to clarify, I was never yours. I never will be. I am forever and always hers. If you weren’t pregnant you would have been out our lives a two months ago.”

Vivian just stared at him unblinkingly. He had actually really just hurt her, but she wasn’t going to show him that. So, she pretended he didn’t just shred her heart. She wasn’t quite in love with him, but she had hoped that some day it would get there. Clearly, she was wrong.

“We will not be staying at your apartment this weekend. We will stop and pick up some things then go to my place. We can return on Monday when she is gone. Now, let’s get out of here. I fell like shit,” she said, before turning and heading for the door. Matthew followed, begrudgingly behind her.

*****

“You sure you don’t want me to say with you? Just for tonight? Or maybe come stay at my place tonight and we can come back tomorrow and start packing,” Ziggy asked, as he pulled into a parking spot at the apartment. He was concerned about Y/n. After calmly and quietly explaining what had happened, she asked if he would help her pack and move the next two days. She was then worryingly still, as she stared out the window.

“No, I’m good. I just want to be alone tonight. Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said opening the door and climbed out.

“Hey Y/n, are you o-,” she slammed the door before he could finish. He watched as she walked quickly to the elevator. As she waited for the door to open, she stepped out of her heels and held onto them and as she was stepping into the cabin, she pulled off her wig and dropped it to the floor as the doors closed her in.

Ziggy debated whether he should wait to confront Matthew, but he knew it would probably only make things worse. So, with a sigh, he pulled away from the apartment and hoped his friend would be ok.

*****

Y/n was feeling numb inside. As she exited the elevator, she didn’t even bother picking up her wig and left it where it laid. When she got to the door, she dropped her shoes in front of it and dug out her keys. Unlocking the door, she swung it open and entered stepping over her shoes. Not bothering to retrieve her keys from the door, she kicked it shut behind her and went straight to her room. She had only one thing on her mind since leaving the party. It was to get incoherently drunk. 

Shutting and locking the bedroom door behind her, she walked over to her stereo and turned on music that fit her mood and made it loud. She then started to stripe from her dress and stepped out of her fishnets, before removing the tape she used to create the perfect cleavage. 

Sitting at her desk, in nothing but her panties, Y/n pulled the bottle from her purse and placed it down in front of her. Dropping the bag to the floor, she leaned back in her chair and stared down the bottle. She didn’t know what she was waiting for. Reaching forward she unscrewed the bottle and brought it to her lips. She paused a moment, before finally giving in and taking a long swig.

******

Matthew and Vivian hadn’t said a single word on the way to his apartment. He was too busy thinking about Y/n. He wasn’t sure if she had left the party, if she went to Ziggy’s, or had made it back to the apartment. He got his answer when the elevator doors slid open. There, in the middle of the cabin, laid her wig. His brows furrowed, as he bent to pick it up. 

Vivian chuckled and said, “Clearly, she doesn’t have the same problem as you,” she said, taunting him with a droopy finger. “Didn’t take her much time at all, did it? I guess you don’t mean as much to her as she does you.” 

“Shut up,” he snapped.

Vivian just laughed at him, as his hand tightened on the wig and his jaw clenched. She wasn’t with someone else. This was something different. He could just feel it. This was her giving up.

His fears only deepened, as the elevator doors opened and he could see her heels laying in the hall outside the door, with her keys dangling from the lock. As they walked closer to the door, he could hear angsty, heavy metal blaring from within the apartment.

“She is going to piss off all the neighbors with that music. But oh look, she already turned in her keys,” Vivian said, with a smile. Matthew reaches out and snatched them before she could grab them. She would not be getting a key to his home.

Entering the apartment, the first place his eyes went was Y/n’s closed door. Without thinking, he started for the door, only for Vivian to catch him by the arm and shake her head. 

“Better get packing. Oh, and don’t forget a tux. We have that network party tomorrow. Now hurry, her shitty music is giving me a head ache.

Matthew yanked his arm from her before heading off to make a bag for the weekend. Once in his room though, he pulled out his phone and quickly shot Y/n a text: 

📱Matthew: Are you ok in there? Please don’t do anything stupid. I’m worried about you!

He started to pack up some things when he saw she was responding. But what she sent back didn’t relieve any of his worries. Neither did the smashing sounds coming from her room. Sighing, he knew that he needed to just leave well enough alone and he finished packing. Leaving the apartment, knowing that she was hurting and angry, was one of the hardest things he has ever had to do.

***** 

📱Y/n: GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!

After hitting send, Y/n threw her phone against the wall she shared with his room, causing it to smash into pieces. It actually felt pretty good so she started throwing anything she could get her hands on. 

Once she ran out of things to throw, she tore everything off the walls and the sheets from the bed. When there was nothing else to destroy, she stood exhausted, in the middle of what was once her room. Grabbing the bottle, she stepped over the debris and out of the bedroom, pausing just outside the door and listened. Silence. They were no longer here.

Y/n smiled bitterly to herself, as she took a long pull of tequila. Slowly she sauntered over to Matthew’s room. She had the intention to destroy his room as well, she was going to tear it apart. But as she pushed open the door and stepped into his room, the desire left her. Instead, she was drawn to Matthew’s closet. Opening the door, she was surrounded by his smell, causing her heart to ache. Right in the front, hung the shirt they had found at the thrift shop. Pulling it off the hanger, she held it to her face and inhaled. It was missing something. Turning, her eyes traveled around the room until she found a bottle of cologne. Stumbling slightly, as she moved across his room, Y/n took another sip from the bottle, before placing it down and grabbing his cologne and spraying it on the smiling little aliens. Once again, she brought it to her face and inhaled.

Holding back a sob, she slipped the shirt onto her body. Savoring the way, the soft fabric felt against the tips of her breasts. Reminding her of the last real good day they had together and how he fucked her whiled she wore it. With her liquor in hand, she left his room, as it was too painful to stay.


	13. Part 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hotel scene in this chapter is heavy influenced by Halsey’s “Is There Somewhere?”

Y/n woke up to the sound of pounding. Groaning, she peeled herself, with shaky arms, off the cold bathroom floor. With the help of the counter, she was able to pull herself unsteadily to her feet. Which she regretted, immediately, when she saw white and everything that was in her stomach pushed itself upwards. Quickly, but without much coordination, she stumbled her way to the toilet, barely making it in time. When her body had rid itself of the remaining poison it was no longer accustomed to, she rested her cheek on the cold seat of the toilet. She was suddenly very aware of the pain that bloomed across the side of her face and head. She must have hit the floor hard when she passed out. Closing her eyes, she pulled in a slow breath and steadily blew it out. Why wouldn’t the pounding in her head stop? Groaning, she tried to cover her ears, but she could still hear it, only now it was muffled. It was at that moment that she realized that the sound was coming from outside, the cold and bright room that currently assaulted her senses.

Once again, Y/n stood on trembling legs and shuffled back to the bathroom sink. Upon seeing her reflection, she sighed. The left side of her face and shoulder were substantially bruised. Disgusted with herself, Y/n turned away from her image and tried to collect her thoughts. 

What the fuck was that banging?

Suddenly, the cloud lifted from her head and she realized that the noise she was hearing was someone at the front door. That someone, probably being a frantic and worried Ziggy. Fuck. Grabbing her robe off the back of the door, she covered her mostly-naked body, as she had lost Matthew’s shirt at some point, leaving her in nothing but her panties. 

“I’m coming! I’m coming! I’m sorry,” she said, as she ripped the door open, only to be greeted by her friend's concerned face.

“I’ve been out here for almost 15 minutes. I tried calling and all I get is a recording?! What the fuck is going on, Y/n?” As he pushed his way into the apartment, Ziggy suddenly stopped and took a step back, covering his nose, then stared at her with sadness. 

Y/n looked away, ashamed. It was then that he noticed the purple bruises that spread across her face, and sighed. Walking past her, he headed for the kitchen and grabbed a bag of peas out of the fridge, tossing them to her. Unprepared, she fumbled with them until they fell at her feet. Groaning, she bent down to collect them and delicately placed the bag on her face with a hiss.

“Hit the floor hard, didn’t you?“

Y/n just nodded and croaked, “Just woke up on the bathroom floor.”

“Well, you look like shit and you smell like shit. So, I hope you’re happy with yourself.”

Y/n glared at him. She knew she fucked up, but he didn’t have to be a dick about it.

“Don’t give me that look. I didn’t make you drink. So, where did you get it? Did you go out after I dropped you off?”

“No… I may have nicked it from the bar at the party before we left.”

Ziggy just rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Why would you do that, though? You’ve been doing great. Now you have to start all over. We are going to a meeting tonight. So you better get your ass in the shower so we can get some packing done before we need to head out. Do you got any boxes?”

Rolling her eyes, Y/n tossed the bag of peas onto the coffee table and wandered past him into the kitchen. Reaching under the sink, she pulled out a box of trash bags and returned to Ziggy, pushing the box into his chest. 

Looking down, Ziggy gave her an unamused look. “Seriously? Garbage bags?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Was I supposed to have a backup supply of packing boxes, you know, just in case I should be prepared for when the man I love evicts me?! You're right, totally my bad.”

Sighing, Ziggy now felt like an ass, “Okay, that’s fair. I’m sorry…”

Y/n sighed as she headed back to the bathroom to shower, “I’ll be out in a little bit,” she said, before closing the door behind her.

Taking the box of trash bags to Y/n’s room, Ziggy came to a halt at her door as he looked on at the utter destruction that was her room. The floor was covered with ripped up posters, her art, bedding, clothing, and various other objects. As he worked his way into the room, he picked up whatever seemed salvageable and placed it on the desk. While Ziggy was sifting through the debris, he came across her shattered phone. Well, that explained why his calls wouldn’t go through. Sighing, he dumped the remnants of her phone in the nearby trash can. Turning back around and taking in the room again, his shoulders sagged. This was going to take a long time.

******

To say that Matthew was worried would be an understatement. After Vivian had gone to bed, he had snuck out onto her balcony and tried calling Y/n, but all he got was a recording that said the number was currently unavailable. Every fiber of his being wanted to get back into his car and go home. He wanted to check on her. He missed her. Sliding down to the balcony floor, Matthew sat outside and just stared out into the night, hoping that Y/n was sound asleep and happy in her bed. But he knew she wasn’t. He wished she just understood that he was trying to protect her. His circulating thoughts caused him to break out into tears every so often, but eventually, he dozed off only to be awoken the next morning when Vivian threw open the door with a slam.

“What the fuck are you doing out here? I’m not so bad that you had to sleep outside.”

Rolling his eyes, Matthew groaned as he stood up from the cement balcony. His ass and legs were numb and he cringed as the pins and needles started working their way through his lower half. “Please, don’t flatter yourself. I just went out for some fresh air and dozed off. I actually totally intended to sleep on the couch.”

Vivian scoffed as Matthew slipped past her and back into her apartment. She watched as he shuffled over to said couch and stretched out along the length of it. 

“What are you doing?” 

Matthew just opened one eye to look at her before pulling the blanket on the back of the couch down over himself, saying, “I’m cooking a three course meal. What the fuck does it look like I’m doing? Now go away.”

Vivian just stood there with her jaw hanging open, for a moment, before stomping her way over to the couch and tearing the blanket from his body. “You are not going back to sleep. We have to get ready for the network party. You need to get a haircut and do something with your face.”

“My face? What’s wrong with my face?”

“Well, for one your eyes are all red and puffy. Don’t get me started on how blood shot they look. Secondly, you look like you have two black eyes. All because you decided to stay up all night stargazing.”

“I wasn’t stargazing. I was up worrying about Y/n. My eyes are red, bloodshot and puffy, because of the crying. So this,” he said, gesturing to his face, “is all your fault.”

“Well, either way, we are going to be walking down a red carpet, so you need to get up, get that mop you call hair fixed, and for the love of fuck, get a facial or something while you’re at it. What will people think of us if you roll in looking like a hot mess?”

“I don’t really care what they think of us. I don’t think you do, either. I think you’re worried what they will think of you,” Matthew said, getting up and getting in her face. “In fact, I think that this entire relationship was about what it could do for you. I think that, for some reason, you have it in your head that dating me would somehow escalate your fame. Which is why you are clinging on to this shitshow. This isn’t about you liking me or loving me. I also think you got pregnant on purpose. Hell, I’m even starting to wonder if it’s even mine.”

Vivian stepped back with an indignant look on her face. “Why would you even say that?”

“Because that’s what I think.”

Vivian pouted and walked closer to Matthew, trying to act like his words were, in fact, hurting her. “I know you say that you never really wanted to be with me, but I don’t believe it. No one starts dating someone if they don’t like them, even a little bit. It hurts my feelings that you think of me that way. Just because I don’t want my boyfriend’s mistress living with him, doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or that I would cheat on you...or even try to trap you. I did what any girlfriend would do, I think. You think if the tables were turned, and you were dating her and I lived with you, she would be any different?”

Laughing bitterly and shaking his head, Matthew stepped back, putting distance between them. “If I was dating her, you wouldn’t even be in the picture. The only reason I even slept with you was because she and I got in a fight, and she slept with someone else. I was jealous and trying to even the score. I’m not proud of it and I wish it had never happened. “This,” he gestured to her belly, “was only supposed to happen with her. She is the only woman I’ve ever even considered starting a family with. When I’m with you, I feel like I’m cheating on her. She and I, we are meant to be together. We always were. Dating you? I did that for her, because she wanted me to. She wanted me to try and move on because she thought she was ‘too damaged’ for me now.”

“Well, that’s not how it worked out, so get over it,” she snapped. “I’m going out to get my hair and makeup done. When I get back, I expect you to at least be showered and shaved. If you’re not going to get your haircut, at least run a damn comb through it or something. You look fucking homeless.” With that, she grabbed her keys and headed out the door.

Once she was gone, Matthew, once more, tried to call Y/n, only to get the same message as before. Sighing, he laid back down on the couch and pulled the blanket back over himself. He didn’t care what Vivian wanted, he was going to go back to sleep. As far as he was concerned, he didn’t even care if they went to the network party. He would much rather curl up and forget everything that was going on.

*****

When Y/n made her way to her bedroom, she found Ziggy sitting on her floor, throwing away things that couldn’t be salvaged. He had a stack of uncrumpled artwork sitting next to him. 

“You can throw that all away. Most of it is things that will only remind me of him,” she said solemnly, as she sat on the bed.

Picking up the stack, Ziggy was quiet for a moment. “If you don’t mind, I’ll just hold on to these for you. I think you’ll regret throwing them out.”

“I won’t, but whatever. I just want a clean start from him. Pretend that we never met. You ever see that movie with Jim Carey and Kate Winslet? Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind?”

Ziggy thought a moment and nodded his head, “Yeah, I think I’ve heard of it. Don’t think I’ve seen it though. Why?”

Sighing, Y/n closed her eyes and quietly chuckled. “Nothing, never mind.”

“No. What were you going to say?”

Y/n hummed and explained, “It’s about a couple whose relationship starts to sour, leading to them breaking up. As a result, the girl has all memory of the man erased from her mind with the help of this new procedure. When the man finds out, he does the same. I just feel like if there was a way, Matthew and I would benefit from something like that. That way, we could both move on and just stop hurting each other.”

Ziggy just sat and stared at her. “I know right now you think it's over, but I think that if you just wait it out and not do anything drastic, it will all work itself out. I don’t think you two are over. This is just another hurdle you need to get over. He is going to realize that he made the wrong choice.”

“That’s a really sweet thought. I just don’t think I believe it,” she said, getting up and moving to the dresser, pulling out a pair of panties and some leggings. Slipping them on under her robe, she walked to her closet and grabbed an off-the-shoulder sweatshirt. Removing her robe, Y/n heard Ziggy squeak and spin around on his butt while continuing to sift through the destruction surrounding him. 

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Oh, nothing. I just wasn’t expecting the sudden exposure of tits is all.”

Laughing, Y/n said, “You don’t even like tits. So what’s the big deal?” She slipped her top over her head as Ziggy just shrugged his shoulders.

“No big deal, just wasn’t expecting it. Also, just trying to be respectful.”

Smiling softly at her friend’s back, Y/n said, “You can turn around now. I’m all covered.” 

Ziggy spun back around on his butt again, “Oh, that’s a cute top. I might have to steal it from you someday.”

Despite her current mood, Y/n laughed and sat on the floor with her friend. Together, they were able to clear the floor quickly.

“So, is the furniture yours or was it here when you moved in, because I’m not going to be able to help move those things.” 

“They are Matthew’s,” she said, quietly, as she started pulling her clothes from the closet and laying them on the bed.

As Ziggy removed the items of clothing from the hangers and folded them, he asked, “Do you have any plans on where you’re going?”

Y/n just shrugged her shoulders before moving away from the empty closet to the dresser, holding her undergarments. Taking a bag, she started to fill the bag with the drawer’s contents. “I guess I just figured I would find a very cheap hotel until I can find my own place.”

Ziggy scowled in thought before saying, “I don’t think I’m comfortable with that. It doesn’t sound safe. I don’t have a spare room, but I do have a couch, if you’re interested. Just while you’re looking for a place.”

Y/n turned and looked at him with affection and shock. Quickly making her way across the room, she wrapped her arms around his waist,hugging him tight. “Oh my god. Thank you. I really didn’t want to stay at a seedy hotel. They are just so gross.”

Ziggy chuckled before pulling back and giving Y/n a serious look. “I have one request. No drinking or bringing alcohol into my flat. It’s my number one rule. Maintaining my sobriety is very important to me, and even though I love you through and through, I will not let you jeopardize my progress.”

Y/n eyes fluttered as she swallowed, nodding her head. Even though what he said seemed harsh, she knew it was necessary, especially after her slip-up the night before. “I won’t, I promise! You’re one of the best things to happen in my life, Ziggy! I’m not going to ruin it!”

“I don’t think you will. And even if you fall off the wagon, I’m still your friend. I just can’t be around it. It almost killed me last time, and I know if we are hanging out and you are three-sheets, I’ll want to be, too. I can only imagine the kind of fun and trouble you and I could get into. The fact is, that scary-as-fuck thought is still appealing is my point. I wouldn’t be strong enough to not give up a years worth of sobriety to have a fucking insanely good time with you.”

“We would get ourselves in quite a bit of trouble,” Y/n chuckled.

Ziggy smiled at her and tightened his squeeze around her body, making her squeal. “How about we finish the rest of this tomorrow, and you and I go get something greasy in you and then hit that meeting?”

Nodding her head in agreement, Y/n smiled and said, “I could definitely use something greasy.”

As Ziggy was about to leave the bedroom, Y/n stopped him. “Hey… do- do you think I could stay with you tonight? So I’m not tempted?”

“Of course! Make an overnight back and we will come back in the morning and finish.”

“Okay, thanks Zig! I really love you, man!”

“I know, I love me too, princess,” Ziggy called out as he left the room, leaving her to collect what she needed.

*****

When they pulled up to the party, Vivian was still extremely annoyed. When she had gotten home, not only had Matthew not showered or shaved, but he had gone back to sleep and was still curled up on the couch where she left him. To make matters worse, when she had finally gotten him to wake up, he’d refused to do anything but slick his hair back and brush his teeth. He also took forever to decide what he was going to wear and when he did, he had insisted on wearing a suit that hung on his thin frame, making him look even sloppier. By the time he was done getting ready, it was too late to argue over it, so Vivian had no choice but to be seen with this hobo-version of Matthew. She was pretty positive he was being purposefully passive-aggressive with her. 

Matthew wasn’t even in the mood to go to this thing, and he sure-the-fuck wasn’t going to be Vivian’s arm candy. So he may have dragged his feet a bit when it was time to get ready, and he didn’t put too much effort into his appearance for the night either. He could care less about what she wanted or how she thought they would be perceived. So, when they pulled up and stepped out on the red carpet, he refused to act like they were a happy couple. Sure, he stood next to her and smiled for the cameras, and was jovial with the interviews as he normally would be; that was, until he noticed that Vivian kept placing her hand over her stomach to draw attention to her developing bump. When an interviewer asked if she was pregnant, his smile faltered while she beamed and announced the “good news.”

“So Matthew, are you excited to be a new dad?”

The interviewer caught him off guard while he was giving Vivian a “what the hell” look. Quickly turning to address the question, Matthew plastered a fake smile on his face, nodding his head and said, “Um, yeah. Yeah...sure. If you could excuse us?” 

Taking Vivian by the arm, Matthew guided her past the remaining interviewers and through the doors of the reck hall that was hosting the party. Once inside, he spun her around and asked, “What the fuck was that? Why did you do that? I haven’t even told my mother yet!”

“Well, how was I supposed to know that? You didn’t tell me. Anyways, you’ve had plenty of time to tell her, so that’s on you. Do you even care how bad your response looked?”

“That announcement was something we should have discussed before you went off and told the world. I like to keep my personal life as private as possible. What you just did was wrong.”

“Why is it wrong? Because you didn’t tell your mommy or because you don’t want your precious Y/n to hear that you’re happy to be a daddy?”

“No, it's wrong because you did it without telling me you were going to do it. As for Y/n, she knows me well enough to know I was lying through my teeth.”

“So you’re not happy to be a father? That’s real sweet, Matthew. Good to know that our child’s father doesn’t love them.”

“I didn’t say that!”

“You may as well have.”

“Ugh, whatever. I’m not doing this with you. I’m gonna go find the bar and people I actually like to be around. Enjoy your evening,” Matthew said, before heading off into the crowd.

“Fine, go get a drink. Become just like that alcoholic loser!”

Matthew’s shoes literally squeaked to a halt, he stopped so fast. Spinning around, he stomped right back up to Vivian and leaned down into her face, and said through clenched teeth, “Watch your fucking mouth. Addiction is an illness and that doesn’t make her a loser. You will never measure up to her. She is smarter, kinder, and 10 times more attractive than you. The way you manipulate and treat people makes you hideous.” He then turned back around, once again heading off to find a badly needed drink and some friends. He felt like his world was falling apart. All Matthew really wanted was to find Y/n and hold her. He missed her, horribly, and he didn’t know how much longer he was going to be able to put up with Vivian.

As she watched him walk away, her chin started to wobble as her eyes began to water. This wasn’t turning out like she planned. He hated her. He had made that perfectly clear. How was she supposed to convince him to raise a child with her, if he couldn't even look at her without disgust written clearly across his face? She didn’t know how to fix it. Forcing him to kick out Y/n has seemed to push him over the edge. She just had to find a way to pull him back from said edge. Wiping her face quickly, she blew out the bad feelings and told herself to pull it together. She was stronger than that, and she was not going to let them win. 

As Vivian made her towards the restroom to tidy up her face, her path was blocked by Scott.

“Can we talk? I’d really like to talk.”

Sighing, Vivian asked, “Is that a euphemism for sneaking off for a quickie? Because, as tempting as that may be, I can’t. Matthew is here.”

“No, it means I want to talk. Also, your boyfriend didn’t seem too pleased with your little announcement.”

“It's just cold feet. He’ll warm up to it.”

Scott just gave her a doubtful look before taking her hand, and leading her to the refreshment table. “Do you want something to drink?”

Against her better judgment, Vivian smiled sweetly at Scott, nodding her head. “Thank you,” she said when he handed her a cup. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

Scott’s eyes dropped down to Vivian’s belly. “I want to talk about the baby… and us.” 

Huffing, Vivian stepped closer to him and talked in a hushed voice, “This is neither the time nor the place. There is no us. We just fuck from time to time. I have a boyfriend.”

Pulling his eyes away from his growing child, Scott looked her in the eye and said, “Yes, one that won’t touch you. One who clearly doesn’t even want you. That is my baby and I’m not sure I want a man who could care less about it, being the one raising it. I’ll take care of both of you. We could be together. Raise our baby together.”

“No!” 

“But, why? You seem to enjoy my company well enough between shoots, as well as in my trailer.”

“That’s just sex. A relationship is different.”

“If you think what you have with him is a relationship, you’re delusional. The way he was with you just now, it’s clear he cannot stand you. If that’s what you want, then so be it, but I can tell you he isn’t going to be around long. You can’t force him to stay. But, as for me, I’m here, wanting what he has. I want us to be a family,” Scott said, gently placing his hand on her lower abdomen. 

Vivian almost got sucked into what Scott was saying, but when he softly caressed her bump, she quickly swatted at his hand and backed up, looking around to see if anyone saw.

Matthew made it to the bar and ordered a whiskey with coke. As he was waiting for his drink, he surveyed the room. He was trying to see if he could locate someone he knew. That’s when he noticed Vivian talking to one of her co-stars. The other man was very close to her and talked animatedly, it almost looked like he was pleading with her. When his drink was set down on the bar behind him, Matthew quickly turned to thank the bartender. When he turned back around, it was just in time to see Vivian’s co-star reach out to gently lay his hand on her baby bump. Matthew watched as her domineer momentarily softened only to be replaced by sudden panic, as her eyes darted around the room.

“That’s pretty fucking interesting,” Matthew said to himself, before throwing back his drink with three large swallows. Placing his glass back on the bar, he strode off in their direction. Once he approached them, the other man seemed to try and inflate, like he was trying to intimidate Matthew, causing him to only chuckle. “Chill out man, I just need to talk to her. You’re more than welcome to take her off my hands for the evening. Though, I do have a no return policy, so you’ll be stuck with her all night.”

Vivian clucked her tongue in annoyance before asking, “What did you want to talk about? Not even five minutes ago, you said you were done dealing with me.”

“Oh, I still am. I just have a question to ask you,” he said with a falsely sweet voice. Matthew watched as Vivian looked worried for a moment and swallowed, before nodding her head.

“Don’t wander off, man. She’ll be right back,” Matthew told Scott, before following Vivian a couple steps away. Coming to a stop right in front of her, he stood there silently just smiling.

“What? You’re being weird.”

Matthew just laughed and asked, “So, is he the daddy?”

“What? No! You’re the father. Why would you even ask that?”

“Hmmm, well you two looked very cozy, and he seemed pretty touchy-feely with your stomach. Which makes me wonder...why would he do that? The only thing I can come up with is that, maybe, he’s the father.”

“Well, he’s not. He is just a friend. A friend who has personal boundary issues.”

Matthew just smiled and shook his head, “We’ll just have to wait and see. When the baby is born, believe me when I say I will be taking a paternity test, and if it reveals that your child is not mine, I’d like to remind you my father is a lawyer. You will be hearing from him. But, until then, I guess we can keep playing your little game,” with that, Matthew walked off to find another drink. He was so over this evening.

*****

It was almost 10:00 when they had gotten back from their meeting after going out for dinner. Ziggy had decided that he was tired and wanted to head to bed, so after getting some bedding for the couch and helping Y/n make up her bed, he said goodnight, heading off to his room for the night. Y/n still wasn’t quite ready for bed, so she decided to turn the tv on quietly, and channel surf until she was tired.

As she was flipping though, she passed TMZ right as a picture popped up on the screen. It had taken a second for her to register that the picture was of her. Quickly going back, she turned the volume up to hear what was being said, as she stared at an image of Matthew and herself, on a sidewalk downtown, holding hands. Then two more images flashed by of just her and then one of Matthew kissing her while they waited in line at the thrift shop. They were talking about how they had assumed that he had split from Vivian months before and was dating some new mystery woman he claimed to only be a childhood friend. But then, they started talking about reports from that evening at a network party, and how Matthew was, once again, with Vivian. Clips popped up showing her announcing her pregnancy. It also caught Matthew’s none-to-pleased reaction. When he was asked if he was excited, Matthew gave a painful smile and a very unenthusiastic response of ‘yeah’ and then dragged Vivian away. After the clip played, the reporters started to discuss how, at the time, the pictures of Matthew and herself were taken while Vivian was out of town filming. They also discussed how they had found out that, not only did she work with Matthew on the set, but that she was also his current roommate. They had done some digging and discovered they had gone to school together as teens and even found a yearbook picture of them sitting under their tree. They started to speculate how Matthew had been cheating on Vivian, and was painting him out to be the bad guy. They continued talking very sympathetically regarding Vivian, and the situation, how Matthew didn’t seem happy about the pregnancy, and the rough way in which he pulled Vivian away. 

Once the segment was over, Y/n sat in shock. She had this bubbling feeling of panic rising up within her. This was what she had been worried about. Because of her, Matthew was getting a bad wrap. She wondered if he even knew what was being said. 

Quickly, Y/n jumped from the couch and ran to Ziggy’s room, banging on the door, not caring if she woke him. When he swung the door open with a concerned look, he asked “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I need your phone! I need to call Matthew!”

Heading back into his room to retrieve his phone, Ziggy asked, “ Why? What is going on? Why are you so upset? You’re literally shaking!”

“It’s all over the news. He needs to know! They were tearing him down,” she exclaimed as she hurriedly dialed Matthew’s number. 

Ziggy still didn’t understand what was going on, but he knew Y/n was on the verge of losing it. The longer she stood there waiting for a response, the harder she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. Tears also began to collect in her eyes. 

“Come on! Answer your fucking phone,” Y/n yelled as she redialed Matthew’s number. She closed her eyes and whispered the mantra, “Please pick up. Please pick up. Please pick up.” When she got his voicemail again, she released a deep guttural groan of dismay. 

Ziggy watched as her face crumbled and she began to sob. Quickly pulling her into a hug, he held her until she quieted down enough for him to ask, “I’m sorry, dove. I just don’t understand why you’re so upset. Can you explain it to me and maybe I can help?”

Y/n shuddered in a breath and sniffled her nose. She, then, nodded her head and said, “I always knew I was going to ruin his life. I told him and he didn’t listen. Couldn’t leave well enough alone and now it’s too late.”

“But how did you ruin his life? You’re not explaining why you think that.”

Huffing, Y/n pulled away and silently walked to the living room. She plopped on the couch and asked, knowing that he followed her, “How do I rewind this?”

Ziggy sat next to her and rewound the show she was watching. He had to admit, he was a little worried when he saw it was TMZ. 

“Stop,” she said, suddenly. When he hit play, they quietly watched the report that had Y/n so upset. Ziggy reached over and held her hand as she started to cry again. She wasn’t wrong… it wasn’t good. Matthew didn’t make it any better by the way he reacted in the clip, either. He looked like a massive asshole. Ziggy knew Matthew wasn’t, because he knew him, but the world didn’t know and neither did his fans.

“See? I ruined his life. Everyone is going to hate him and it’s all my fault. What happens when they start digging deeper into his life? That he cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with an alcoholic who could also be a common criminal?”

“It’s okay. It will be okay. It’s not all your fault. If I remember correctly, Matthew was a willing participant in y’alls’ little affair. And you don’t live there anymore. This could all blow over. So, let’s just take a deep breath and calm down. I say we go to bed and just see what tomorrow brings.”

Y/n’s chin wobbled as she swallowed, nodding her head as she stared at the phone in her hand.

“I tell you what. You hold on to my phone, just in case he calls it back. Okay?”

She looked up at him and gave him a sad, teary smile. “Thank you,” she said with a hoarse voice. 

He pulled her into another hug and kissed the top of her head. Standing, Ziggy turned off the TV and said, “Enough TV for the night. Lay down. Get comfy.” As she laid down, he plucked the phone from her hand and placed it on the coffee table. He then pulled the blanket over her, and once again told her goodnight and headed to his room. He just hoped it really would be okay.

Hearing Ziggy’s door click shut once more, Y/n laid on the couch, staring at the ceiling. After a while, she closed her eyes and tried to will herself to sleep. Before she knew it, an hour and a half had passed and she still had not found sleep, and even worse; that little voice in the back of her head started to whisper. The one that told her she needed a drink. Just one would make it better. It would help her sleep. Dull the throbbing on the side of her face from the night before, and the ache in her chest from the devastating news report she had witnessed. Maybe, if she could just hear Matthew’s voice. Maybe it would push back down. Reaching for the phone, she dialed his number once more and again, got no answer. The voice was getting louder and harder for her to ignore. Sitting up, she looked in the direction of Ziggy’s room, then back at the phone in her hand. Slowly, she started to swipe through his phone until she found his Uber app. She hovered her finger, hesitantly, over it before sighing in disgust, and tapped the app.

After ordering a ride, Y/n quickly changed into the jeans and crop-top she had packed for the next day, slipping on her boots and her leather jacket. She then sat quietly, bouncing her leg, waiting for the text to tell her that her ride had arrived. As she waited, she kept chanting to herself to cancel it, but she never got the nerve. When Ziggy’s phone lit up the room, she swallowed nervously and texted she was on her way. Grabbing her bag, she walked to the front door and struggled with the lock for a moment, before slipping out into the night to find a drink.

Ziggy hadn’t found sleep. He was worried about Y/n and when he heard a clunking sound coming from outside, he sat up and tried to figure out what it was. When he heard the front door open and close, he realized it had been the locks and he hurried out of bed. Running out of his room, Ziggy saw that his phone was still lit up on the table. Grabbing it, he saw the Uber alert and slipped on his slippers, grabbing his keys. He hoped he could catch up with Y/n. He knew damn well what she was about to go do.

*****

By the time they got back to Vivian’s, Matthew was sufficiently drunk. He had a pretty good time once he ditched Viv. He and Shemar were really putting them back. Matthew giggled to himself as he stumbled to the couch, flopping himself across it.

“What’s so funny?” Vivian asked with annoyance. Matthew just lifted his head and looked at her before dropping it again while giggling. 

“My life and how it’s turned out. It was going so good… really good. Then I met you and everything went to hell in a handbasket,” he then burst into another fit of laughter, “Handbasket… it's just so weird.”

Vivian simply rolled her eyes and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

As Matthew laid there, pleasantly numb, his phone started to ring in his pocket. It took him so long to wrestle the device from it that he nearly fell off the couch in the process. He had missed the call. Looking at the screen, he squinted, trying to get his eyes to focus. When they finally did, he noticed that he had missed a total of six calls from the same number. How did he not hear that many calls? Matthew suddenly had a sinking feeling. Sitting up, he hit the call back button and waited. It took less than two rings for the person on the other end to pick up.

“Matthew? Man, where are you?”

“Ziggy? What’s going on? What’s wrong? Is she okay?” Matthew asked, feeling suddenly sober.

“Well she isn’t sober. She is currently inside a bar on Spring Street. I tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t listen. She drank last night, too. Passed out in your bathroom and smashed her face up. Someone needs to go in there and get her. I can’t go inside the bar.”

Upon hearing about her lapse in sobriety, and her injuring herself, Matthew was already up and looking for his keys.

“Okay, man. I’m on m-,”

“Where are you going? There is no way you are going anywhere, much less driving. You could barely make it from the car to the door.”

“Is that the cuntcake?” Ziggy asked.

Disputing the current situation, Matthew started to drunkenly giggle again, and said, “Yup,” popping the P. 

Guess he didn't sober up as much as he thought. As much as he hated to admit it, Vivian was right. He had no business driving.

“Hey, I’m gunna call for a ride. I’ll be there soon,” and he hung up without a response.

“You’re not going anywhere, Matthew.”

Without looking up from his phone, he scoffed in response.

“I mean it!”

“Done,” he said, as he confirmed his reservation. Looking up at Vivian, he raised an eyebrow and asked, “How do you plan on stopping me?”

She just stared him down, stubbornly, before sighing and asking, “Can you at least tell me where you’re going? So I won’t worry.”

“Ziggy needs help with something.”

Vivian narrowed her eyes, “Ziggy or Y/n.”

“Both, what does it matter? They are my friends and they need my help.”

Vivian walked to the front door and blocked it. “You’re not going.” 

Matthew just laughed and ran for the balcony. 

“What are you doing? Where are you going?” she asked, following him. By the time she got outside to the balcony, Matthew was already two-thirds the way down the fire escape.

“ Matthew! Are you fucking kidding me?” 

“I’ll be back later… maybe.”

Vivian watched as he hurried over to a car and discussed something through the window, before siding into the back seat and disappearing into the night.

*****

Y/n was now standing at the bar, three shots in, when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“I thought you were never coming back? That we would never see each other again? So, what happened? Let me guess, you and Matthew have another little squabble?”

Turning, Y/n gave Rick a bitter smile and said, “Nope, just needed a drink. Why is none of your business.”

“Jesus! What happened to your face? I would ask if you were back with Ian, but he was in here the other night with his new chick.”

Rolling her eyes, Y/n said, “I passed out and hit the floor too hard. But, again, that’s not really any of your business.”

Giving her an annoyed look, Rick replied, “Well, just so we are clear, you're paying for every drop tonight. Your free ride has ended. Seeing as though you refused to answer any of my calls the last three months.”

“I’ll happily pay, and you're right, I didn’t answer because I didn’t want to hear what you had to say. I still don’t.” With that, she turned around and threw back her two remaining shots. When they were gone, she ordered another mixed drink and headed off to find herself a secluded corner. 

Sitting back, she watched the small crowd of people moving about the bar. It was weird. Places like this used to be her natural habitat, but now she just felt out of place. Not only that, she had been so desperate for a drink, she had forgotten how her face looked, that was, until Rick had mentioned it, and now she felt very self conscious. It would just be best if she kept to the dark corners. 

About an hour in, she had three cups in front of her. She had caved at the third cup and just requested the bottle, as the trip to the bar was becoming a bit stumbling. As she filled her fourth, a beautiful girl with caramel skin and short brown hair sat down in the booth, across from her.

“Hey Cutie! Why are you si- oh, did someone do that to you?”

Y/n smiled nervously, trying to cover her face with her hair. “No. It would probably be less embarrassing if someone had. It was all me. I ah- tripped over the dog and smashed my face into the floor.”

She hissed, sucking air thru her teeth and said, “Ouch. Yeah, my cat is trying to plot my death as well.”

Y/n smiled and started to laugh with the other woman.

“I’m Kelly, by the way!” She held her hand across the table. Y/n took it and politely shook her hand. 

“Y/n.”

“So… why are you sitting over here, getting drunk in the dark all by your lonesome?” she asked, pulling one of the empty glasses towards herself and filling it half-way. Y/n just lifted an eyebrow and smiled, before answering.

“You have seen my face, right?” Y/n asked, chuckling. “But seriously, it's just one of those days. Things haven’t really been going my way. Got kicked out by my best friend, whom I’ve been in love with since I was fourteen. They’re with someone else and expecting a baby, but both thespians, and the fact that we’ve been messing around with each other, was just on TMZ. They had pictures of us and everything. I’ve completely ruined my best friend’s career and future. So, here I am, in the dark, drinking away my sorrows.”

“Oh, wow, so you’re banging someone famous?”

Y/n wrinkled her nose and said, “I wouldn’t say famous. They’re newly discovered. Well, not newly because he was a model long before we started working on the show.”

Y/n watched the other woman pout slightly, “HE huh? Also, you said ‘started on the show,’ too. Are you an actress and what show?”

Y/n started to realize that this girl may be interested in more than just a friendly chat and a drink, by the way she disappointedly took note of her friend’s pronoun. Choosing to ignore that for now, Y/n said, “No, not an actress, just a crew member and… I think it would be best not to say what show at the moment.”

“Fair enough,” Kelly replied, sipping on her drink. “Mmm… so, are you just into guys, or do I have a chance of keeping you company tonight?”

Y/n laughed nervously, “Wow, you just got straight to the point. Um… I mean, we can definitely play it by ear.” Y/n threw back the rest of her drink, pouring another glass, already draining half of it.

Kelly watched in amazement, “It’s like you’re just drinking water.”

Y/n covered her mouth after letting a little burp escape. Blushing with embarrassment, she said, “Sorry, old habits are hard to kill.”

Kelly just smiled at her, throwing back the rest of her drink as well, “Let’s find some good music to dance to while we get to know each other a little better.” She then gave Y/n a flirty smile and slipped out of the booth, and headed for the jukebox. When she was half-way there, she turned back and called Y/n’s name, beckoning her to follow. Finishing the rest of her glass, Y/n got up and clumsily made her way to the other woman.

*****

When Matthew’s ride pulled up to the bar, he could see Ziggy standing outside, giving the building a weary look. He looked like he was struggling with something as he bounced on his toes, with his hands shoved in his pockets.

Asking the driver to keep the meter running, Matthew slipped out of the car and quietly approached Ziggy. 

“Hey man, you okay?” Matthew asked quietly, though still startling the other man.

“Hey! Yeah, I’m fine. I just… um, it’s just that this is the closet I’ve been to a bar in over a year so... yeah,” Ziggy said, swallowing and giving the door a sideways glance.

Matthew could see his friend fighting the temptation, so he put his arm over the man’s shoulders, walking toward his car. “I got this from here, how about you head home. I’ll drop her off in a little bit.”

“Oh, no. She can’t come back to my place. Not if she’s drunk. I warned her. I told her she could only stay with me if she was sober. Don’t get me wrong, I love her like a sister and I think the world of her, and it hurts me to have to push her away. But, I’m starting to feel things and thoughts that I haven’t felt in a long time. Right now, I would kill to go into that bar and it is taking everything I have not to. I can’t let that happen. I’ve worked too hard. Once she has started the steps over, and has a couple weeks under her belt, we can talk, but right now I can’t! I’ve done all I can do to help her. Please tell her I said I’m sorry. That I love her. That I know she can do it, and to give me a call when she does.”

Matthew felt kinda guilty. Like he had caused all of this. She wouldn’t have started drinking again if it wasn’t for him, and Ziggy wouldn’t have to feel like he had to abandon his friend. Swallowing, Matthew nodded his head and said, “I’ll tell her. I’m sure she’ll understand. I’m really sorry, man. This is all my fault. I didn’t mean for this all to happen. I just wanted things to be... simpler.”

“Aww, man. It’s not all your fault. Things just got complicated. If it wasn’t this that set her off the edge, it would have been something else. That’s the thing about being sober. You really, really need to want it. Me? I want it. I can’t live the life I was living before. She hasn’t gotten to that point yet. That, or she has decided that she just doesn’t care, and is self-destructing. I’m not gonna lie… I think that may be where she’s at. Which is why I called you.”

“I was just trying to protect her, so she wouldn’t start spiraling. Clearly, I caused it to happen anyways. I just didn’t want this all to go public. The media won’t be kind to her. I thought that it would be what pushed her over the edge.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, but tonight’s adventure is because it did just go public. They even had pictures of you two. Hell, they even found some of you two as kids. The media definitely doesn’t think too highly of you right now. Especially, after your response to that mega-bitch being pregnant. Y/n thinks she ruined your life.”

“Fuck,” Matthew said, pushing his hair back. “Why didn’t she call me? I actually tried calling her a couple times, and I couldn’t get through.”

“She did call you. Three times, from my phone. Hers… well, let’s just say she may have had a moderately-sized temper tantrum last night. Her phone, unfortunately, was a casualty.”

Shaking his head, Matthew looked back at the bar and mumbled, “Of course it was. I should probably get in there before she drinks herself to death.”

“Okay, yeah, that sounds good. Give her a hug for me, and don’t forget to tell her I said sorry, and that I love her. I hope to see her at a meeting soon.”

“Yeah, sure thing. Drive safe and thanks for calling me Zig,” Matthew said as he started toward the bar entrance.

“Oh, hey! Just a heads up… her face,” Ziggy gestured to his own, and grimaced. “Yeah, she fucked it all up.”

Matthew just closed his eyes and his shoulders slumped with a sigh. “Thanks for the warning. Night, man.” He waved off his friend, and headed into the bar to retrieve his girl.

His buzz had, pretty much, worn off at this point, and he’d be lying if he wasn’t tempted to get a drink; but now wasn’t the time. Standing in the entryway, Matthew scanned the room. He didn’t see her, so he headed to the bar to ask if anyone had. Unfortunately, the only person behind the bar was Rick. Anger suddenly started to bubble up in Matthew at the sight of the other man. 

Seeing Matthew, Rick started to laugh and said, “It was only a matter of time before you showed up. Here, I was hoping I’d get a second shot at her. But sadly, she doesn’t seem to be driving stick anymore.”

At Matthew’s confused look, Rick laughed and gestured toward the jukebox where Y/n was, dancing and laughing with another woman. She was draped all over the brunette, while her hands were all over Y/n.

Matthew raised an eyebrow as he watched the two women. He knew Y/n had been in several same sex relationships, but he never took the time to visualize it. While he didn’t feel as jealous as he would be if it was, say Rick, he still didn’t like watching someone else groping Y/n’s body. 

Slowly, Matthew made his way over to the dancing women. The closer he got, the more he could hear their giggling and whispered conversation. Y/n had her back to him, but the other woman noticed him, shooting him a grossed-out look.

“Hey Creeper, take a picture. It’ll last longer. Now, get lost.”

Matthew didn’t even glance her way, instead, his eyes stayed locked on Y/n’s back.

“Hey Y/n, Ziggy called me. He told me what’s going on. Baby, it’s time to go. Come on. You can start over.”

He slowly reached out to touch her shoulder. The other girl, seemingly understanding that he wasn’t your run-of-the-mill bar sleaze, took a step back. When Y/n turned to look at him, Matthew literally whimpered when he saw the purple and red bruises that covered the right side of her face.

“Oh, baby. Shit, what did you do?” he asked, gently pushing the hair from her face and cupped her cheek. He then leaned his forehead against hers, and started to place soft kisses on her busied face, causing Y/N to wrap her arms around him and melt against him. Seeing that she had been forgotten, the other woman slinked off.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t strong enough. And now, everyone knows everything, and I’ve ruined your life just like I said I would. I'm so, so sorry,” Y/n rambled against his chest as tears started to run down her face.

Matthew pulled back and shook his head, “No, don’t worry about all that. It doesn’t matter. God, does it hurt?” he asked, refocusing on her face. 

“Not so much anymore, just tender.”

“How did you even do it?

“I- I stole a bottle of tequila from the party and drank the whole thing. I don’t really remember what happened. My best guess is I passed out in the bathroom, and hit the floor pretty hard. My collarbone and shoulder are sore and bruised as well.”

Matthew clicked his tongue as he slid his hand down to the neck of her crop top, stretching it to see what she was talking about. When he fixed her shirt, he had a pout on his face. “I feel like this is all my fault. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I made the choice not you.”

Sighing, Matthew spoke quietly, “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

“Ziggy isn’t going to let me stay with him now, is he?”

“No, but he said he loves you and he hopes to see you at a meeting, soon. You should go tomorrow, after work.”

Y/n just avoided eye contact and mumbled, “Yeah, sure.”

“Do you think Kathryn will let you stay with her?”

“I would rather not, I can just get a motel room or something.”

“Ok, we are gonna make a quick pit stop on the way,” Matthew said, lacing his fingers with hers and headed for the door.

Y/n quickly yanked her hand from his and he turned to give her a confused and somewhat hurt look. “I just need to get my jacket and bag.” She then turned and hurried back to her booth, where she chugged the small amount remaining in the bottle, and collected her things. When she returned to Matthew, he reached for her hand again, but she pulled it out of reach and slipped past him and said, “Come on, let’s go.”

Following Y/n outside, he almost walked into her when she stopped suddenly. “Where is your car?” The parking lot wasn’t very full, making it clear to see that his car wasn’t there.

“Oh, I had a little too much to drink, myself, at the network party. Why won’t you hold my hand?”

“What? Don’t be silly. So how did you get here?” she asked, trying to avoid and move past his question.

“No I’m not! Stop trying to change the subject. Why won’t you hold my hand?” he asked again, reaching out for her right hand, only for her to, once again, step out of reach.

Sighing, Y/n whined, “Will you stop? They already have a picture of us kissing at the thrift store. We don’t need to give them more ammo. Especially now that they’re actively looking. I just don’t want to make matters worse.”

Matthew just laughed and stepped closer to Y/n. “You think I care about that? I don’t. Let them think what they will. I’m like 85% sure it’s not my baby. I saw Viv with one of her costars at the party tonight, and he looked like he was trying to rub her belly, as well as convince her of something. Also, you know, when you look at two people and you just know from their body language that they are either fucking or at least have fucked in the past?”

“You mean like us?”

Matthew chuckled and nodded his head, “Yeah, well they had it too. So, I couldn’t give a fuck if all the paparazzi in the world knew that I love you!”

“Shhhh! Jesus Matthew!”

Matthew, feeling a bit bold and goofy, hopped up on a giant planter and yelled, “I, Matthew Gray Gubler, love Y/f/n y/m/n y/l/n!”

Y/n looked panicked as she tried to pull him down from the planter. “Will you shut up and get down!”

Matthew dropped down right in front of her, and smiled that stupid sexy smile of his. “Kiss me and I will.”

“No! That’s what got us into this mess!”

Matthew licked his lips as his smile grew, tilting his head to the side. “Please? I really need you to kiss me.”

Rolling her eyes and huffing, Y/n turned from Matthew and started to walk away. She began to ask, “Is that your Ub-,” but was cut off when Matthew grabbed her arm and spun her back around to face him. His hand found the back of her head as the other wound around her waist, his lips planting firmly over hers. He kissed her with so much passion, Y/n had to clutch the lapels of his dress coat just to steady herself. He had never kissed her like this and she almost felt like she was in a movie.

When Matthew pulled away, Y/n was in a daze. Smiling to himself, Matthew’s voice softened. “I love you and I’m not going to hide it. Let them report it. Let them think whatever they want. Now, let’s get out of here.” Successfully taking her hand this time, he led her to the waiting car.

As they slid into the back seat, the driver said, “Hey, buddy. I hope you got a lot of money on you, because your fair is getting high.”

“I got it. Don’t worry about it. Can you stop at the closest gas station? I got to pick something up.”

When he looked over at Y/n, she looked confused, but also a little annoyed. “You okay? What’s wrong?”  
She just crossed her arms over her chest and looked out the window. “Okay….”

The ride to the gas station felt tense, considering Y/n’s sudden mood swing, and refusal to talk. Sighing, Matthew got out of the car and headed into the store. After quickly buying a burner phone and some extra minutes, Matthew returned to the car and started to set up the phone and save his number in it. He even called his phone so he would have her new number.

Holding the phone out to her, he said, “Here, so you can contact me.” Y/n snatched it from his hand and threw it in her bag. “So, you going to tell me why you’re so upset, or am I going to have to guess? 

“You shouldn’t have bought me a phone. I would have been fine without it. Just so we're clear, I’m paying for the room. The last thing I want is to be questioned as to why you're buying me hotel rooms. Also, you’re not coming in with me. Drop me off and go back to Vivian.”

“Okay, fine. Are you mad about the phone? I just was trying to give you a way to contact me, if you need me.”

“No, I’m not upset because of the phone. I’m upset because you abused the power of your evil lips to try and sway me. I told you ‘no.’ I’m trying to minimize the damage and you're over here, inviting it in for dinner. Just because you think the baby might not be yours, doesn’t give you the ‘go ahead’ to do whatever you want. You should have seen your response at the party tonight. Your answer was dripping with sarcasm, even if you didn’t mean it to. You looked like the biggest asshole. Then, you grabbed the arm of a pregnant woman and practically dragged her past at least ten reporters, with the angriest look on your face. That’s not who you are and you're right, they don’t know the whole story. So, that just means they have to go off what they see and tonight, you gave them a lot to look at.” Y/n sighed, as she tightened her crossed arms over her chest.

Matthew sat there quietly and thought about what Y/n had said. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired of not being able to have what I want. I just feel like everything is falling apart lately, and the only thing I’m sure about is you. I just want there to be an us, but I’m starting to feel like you’re slipping away, too. I don’t want to lose you. Not again. I would exchange everything I have, just as long as you were by my side.”

Y/n visibly softened at Matthew’s quiet confession. “I know, but, up until you can prove otherwise, you need to think of that baby as yours. You can’t just write it off on a feeling. You might not want to believe it, but right now at this moment, I’m not what you need,” she said, sadly. “I love you more than I could ever express, and you know that. At least, I hope you do. But right now, it doesn’t matter, I’m sorry.”

*****

It was almost 3am by the time Matthew got back to Vivian’s last night. Which, she had not been all that happy about. But he hadn’t cared. He just shuffled himself to the couch and laid down. 

After finding a relatively decent and safe hotel for Y/n to stay at, Matthew had still tried to follow her to the room. He just wanted to make sure she got to her room okay, but she wouldn’t let him in. She had meant what she said. It was so hard to leave her side, almost as if someone had ripped a chunk of his heart out. 

He laid awake until the sun started to peek through the windows. He just couldn’t get Y/n off his mind. He was sure that, if left in a hotel, she would continue to drink herself into a hole. 

He had finally dozed off somewhere around 5:30- 6am. All he knew as he drifted off was, he needed to find a reason to go see her today. He needed to be near her, to ease the ache he has in his chest when she’s not around. He smiled to himself as images of Y/n floated through his head as he slept.

*****

It was 11am when Y/n stepped out of her hotel room and into the bastard sun. Groaning while flinching from its brightness, she slipped on a pair of sunglasses, and made her way to the Uber she reserved. She had to head back to the apartment and collect the things she planned on bringing with her. A lot of the shit, she was going to just leave. They could do what they wanted with it. She could care less. 

After giving the address to her driver, Y/n leaned back and closed her eyes. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but she did and was awakened by the driver when they arrived at the apartment. But when she had opened her eyes, she noticed he had driven to the front of the building, which currently had at least five paparazzi parasites, sitting outside. Almost as if they sensed her, they whispered amongst each other and clearly came to the conclusion that she was who they were waiting for. All at once, they rushed to the car, and in a panic, Y/n locked the door and shouted for the driver to go. 

“Can you just circle a block or two, and I’ll tell you how to get into the parking garage. I just have to run upstairs and grab my things, so if you can keep it running, I’d appreciate it.”

“Sure thing, lady.”

“Thanks… I’m gonna have to make a couple of stops on my way back to the hotel, also.”

“ I’m on the job all day, so if you got the money, I got the wheels.”

She smiled thankfully at the man. After going around the block, she directed him to the parking garage gate and gave him the code to enter. He then parked close to the elevator as requested, and Y/n headed back upstairs. Luckily, the scavengers were not allowed inside and were not congregated outside the apartment, like she was worried they would be. 

Quickly, she let herself into the apartment and locked the door behind her. Heading to her room, she went through the remaining clothes in the bags that she and Ziggy had started the day before. Grabbing a fresh bag, she began to fill it with miscellaneous things that had meaning to her. She also grabbed some art supplies, and removed the Halloween picture from when they were kids out of the frame, and slipped it into a sketch book. She then headed to the bathroom to collect her robe, bath products, and her cosmetics.

As she was heading back to her room, something on the floor, between the couch and coffee table, caught her eye. It was Matthew’s alien shirt she had been wearing. Slowly, she made her way to the sofa and sat down as she picked it up. As she held the soft cloth in her hands, tears came to her eyes. That fucking news report had to ruin the last good day they had together. They had taken a beautiful private moment, and made it ugly and dirty. Y/n wasn’t sure if she should be sad or angry, but what she did know was that she was keeping this shirt. She was keeping it to remind herself that that day was much more than what the media had painted it out to be. She also wanted to always remember Matthew’s child- like glee upon discovering it.

Collecting the other two bags, Y/n placed her keys on the door side table. Turning back, she looked over the apartment she had shared with Matthew for the better half of the year. Her heart broke as she remembered all of the late night movies, tickle fights, and arguments. She was going to miss her home. She was going to miss Matthew.

Sighing, she grabbed her bags and stepped out of the apartment, locking it behind her. She then dragged her things down the hall and into the elevator. Once she was in the garage, she loaded her bags into the trunk of her ride, and climbed into the back.

“You okay, miss? You look like you’ve been crying. You trying to run from a bad relationship?”

Y/n laughed, begrudgingly, and shook her head. “I know that’s probably how it looks, judging by my face, but no. The man I’m running from practically worships me. I’m leaving for his own good. He just can’t see how bad I am for him and all I’ve done to only bring him down.”

The man just nodded, then asked, “Where to next?”

“First and foremost, take me to Hope’s Market Liquor on W. 7th St. Then I need to stop at the bus station. Then to Goodwill, for some luggage. Then back to the hotel.”

“All right, sounds good. Hope’s it is.”

***** 

Matthew got up mid- afternoon and trudged to the kitchen, where he made himself a cup of coffee. As he was sitting at the table, sipping from his cup, he decided to bite the bullet and look up the TMZ report from the night before. Pulling it up on his phone, he watched, slack-jawed, with his coffee halfway to his mouth, understanding it wasn’t necessary for Y/n to move out now.

Getting up, he chugged the rest of his coffee and called out to Vivian, who came out of the bedroom.

“Yeah? Is something wrong?”

“So, the cat is out of the bag. The media already knows of my wandering behavior, and already thinks I’m a major dick, so the way I see it, you can no longer hold it over our heads. So, this is me, letting you know Y/n isn’t moving out. She will be staying. She slipped, and now it’s time for her to get back up and on her feet. She is going to need a support system, and I plan on being that for her.”

“No she is not! I don’t care if everyone knows or not. I do not trust you alone with her.”

Matthew just laughed and shook his head, “Yeah, you probably shouldn’t, but honestly you're going to have to. That is my apartment, with my name on the lease and I’ll decide who lives there. If you don’t like it… leave.”

Matthew then slid past her into the room to get a change of clothes from his bag and headed to the bathroom for a shower. 

“Are you going somewhere? I was hoping we could go shopping for the baby…”

“Do you really think that you and I are capable of going on a civil shopping trip together?”

“I was hoping we could try for the baby.”

“Fine, but afterwards, I’m going to go find Y/n and tell her she doesn’t have to move.” He saw Vivian stiffen, opening her mouth to object, but he cut her off before she could, “It’s that or I don’t go on your little fantasy shopping trip.”

Vivian’s mouth snapped shut, but she still looked pissed. He couldn’t care less, just as long as he got to bring his girl home.

*****

When he and Vivian returned to her place from her little shopping trip, it was already dark out. Matthew suspected that Vivian was doing her best to drag it out as long as possible, but he finally put his foot down and said enough was enough.

She had tried to argue of course, but Matthew just rolled his eyes and headed for the check out. He guessed she realized it was no use, as begrudgingly started to follow him to the register. While their items were being rung up, Matthew pulled out his phone and sent a text to Y/n.

Matthew📱: hey what are you up to? Can I come see you? I need to talk to you about something.

It took a good three minutes for him to receive a response, and he was loading the car when he heard his phone ding. Pausing, he pulled it from his pocket and read.

Y/n📱: 🥃🥃🥃

Matthew sighed when he saw her response. 

Matthew📱: At the bar or room?

He was about to slide his phone in his pocket when the three bullets popped up indicating her incoming response.

Y/n📱: room 203

Well, that was the closest thing he would ever get to an invite, he supposed. Putting his phone away, he quickly finished loading the car and climbed into the driver's seat.

“What took you so long? Who were you texting?”

Matthew just kinda scoffed at Vivian as he backed up out of his parking spot. “As soon as we get back, I’m unloading the car and heading back out. I can’t guarantee I’ll be back tonight. You should call your friend. He, at least, seems interested in spending time with you.”

Vivian just sighed and looked out the window, quietly. It wasn’t until he heard a quiet sniffling that he realized she was crying. 

“What’s wrong with you?”

“I know you hate me… you’ve made that perfectly clear. But do you have to go out of your way to be mean? Why is it so bad that I want to be with the man I made a child with? Why am I the bad guy? Is it because I said you couldn’t live with the person you were having an emotional affair with? You’re sucking all the joy out of this experience. Having a child is supposed to be happy, but I’m not happy. All you’ve done in the last week is either ignore me or tear into me. I can only take so much of your cruelty,” Vivian said with tears in her eyes.

Matthew swallowed. He definitely felt like an ass. He had been purposefully mean towards her. Trying to drive into her head that they would never be a couple like she wanted. He also had a lot of resentment towards her due to making him kick Y/n out. But, he now felt really bad about it. He had never been outwardly cruel to someone like he had been to Vivian. She was right, there was nothing wrong with her wanting those things. It’s just the way she went about trying to get it.

“Viv, I’m sorry. I’ll try not to be unnecessarily mean anymore. We can be civil. But, I still can’t give you what you want. I never will. You need to understand that.”

“Okay..” was her only response and she stayed quiet for the rest of the ride back to her place. When they parked, Matthew slid out of the drivers seat and loaded his arms with as many bags as possible, to reduce the number of trips he would have to make before he left to meet up with Y/n.

Once he was done dropping everything just inside the door of her apartment, he headed to the bedroom to grab his backpack, filling it with a change of clothes and his sketchbook. He then headed to the bathroom to quickly freshen up, and grab his glasses and contact solution. Though he planned to try and talk her into staying and not moving out, he had a feeling that she wouldn’t cave. He also didn’t plan on coming back here tonight. Something deep within him told him this may be the last chance he would ever have with Y/n. Whenever he got that feeling, it was always right.

Vivian had noticed Matthew packing an overnight bag. She was surprised that he wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was leaving to spend the night with another woman. She was hoping her tears in the car would have changed his mind. “Can you at least stay for dinner?”

Matthew paused as he was about to toss his deodorant in his bag. Turning, he looked at Vivian sadly leaning against the door frame.

“I would, but I’m already late,” he lied. He hadn’t even replied to Y/n that he was on his way, nor set a time to be there.

Closing her eyes, tears rolled down her cheeks as her chin quivered while she swallowed back a lump, before saying, “Fine.” She then pushed off the door frame and left him in the bathroom, feeling like a jerk. 

Dropping the deodorant in his bag, Matthew zipped it up and headed for the door. As he put his hand on the knob, he sighed. Placing his bag gently on the floor next to the door, he walked to the kitchen and sat down at the table. “So, what were you going to make for dinner?”

Vivian turned around surprised, her mouth opening and shutting a couple times, before she said, “I just put a meatloaf in the oven.” 

Sighing, he pulled out his phone and texted Y/n once more.

Matthew📱: I’ll be there no later than ten. Please don’t leave or pass out.

Y/n📱: I’ll be here.

*****

Y/n sat at the table in her room, rolling a joint and wondering if Matthew had decided to change his mind. It was 10:25 and still no sign of him. She knew he was just going to try to make her come home, but she had no intention of going back. She had already bought a bus ticket to Las Vegas for the following evening. She honestly could live like this anymore, and she knew she would only continue to cause him problems if she stayed. 

Y/n was pulled from her thoughts by a knock on her hotel door. Guess Matthew didn’t change his mind after all. Getting up, she grabbed her bottle, and took a swig as she walked to the door and swung it open. She then leaned against the door frame, the bottle dangling at her side.

“What took you so long?”

Matthew stood on the other side of the open door and took in Y/n’s appearance. Even despite the bruises marring her face and body, she was a sight to see. She was wearing his alien shirt, which was buttoned with two buttons halfway down the shirt, exposing much of her chest and smooth abdomen. Oddly enough, sY/n also appeared to be wearing a pair of his neon-green briefs. Her hair was loose and disheveled. She was clearly already very drunk, judging from the half drained bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand. Even despite that fact, she was painfully gorgeous.

Looking back up at her emotionless, bruised and blank face, he sighed, then swallowed his nerves. “I kinda got caught up at Vivian’s. Took longer than I thought it would, but I’m here now.”

Y/n lifted one eyebrow at him before rolling her eyes as she pushed off the door frame and walked back into her room, leaving the door wide open for him to enter.

Matthew stepped into the room and gently closed the door behind him. 

“I see you stole my shirt and my underwear. Why are you wearing my underwear?” he asked, drawing his eyebrows together. 

Y/n shrugged her shoulders as she thunked down the bottle on the table, grabbing and then lighting her joint.

“Because… why not? They look cuter on me anyway, don’t ya think?” She did a little wobbly twirl on her toes, before steadying herself on the edge of the table, giggling while she took a hit of the weed.

Matthew knew he shouldn’t encourage her, but she was the cutest drunk ballerina he had ever seen, and he had to stifle a chuckle. When she held out the joint, he hesitated for a moment before reaching to take it. Pulling in a couple of drags, he looked around her room and then passed it back, coughing. 

“So you're smoking again, too? Where did you get it?”

“From the guy at the liquor store, like I used to,” Y/n said, taking it back. She then clumsily wandered over to the radio and turned up her music, before saying, “I’m not coming home. So don’t waste your breath.” She then took a couple more pulls on the weed and handed it back to him before making her way back to her bottle. 

Coughing on the smoke again, he cleared his throat, and said in a horse voice, “Yeah, I guessed as much, but I figured I would at least try. Can I have some of that?”

Giving Matthew a surprised look, she took another swig and then exchanged the bottle for the joint.

“I’m kinda surprised you’re not scolding me for drinking. Or trying to stop me,” she said, as she took the last hit and watched Matthew take three chugs from the bottle. She chuckled when the harsh liquid caused him to balk as he pulled the bottle from his lips.

Putting the roach in the ashtray, she said, “You better slow down before you make yourself sick.”

“Gotta catch up, don’t I? Plus, the more I drink, the less you can,” he said in a strained voice.

Cutting her eyes at him, she reached for the bottle, but Matthew raised it high above her head and laughed, “Nope. Mine now.”

Her hand shot out, lightning fast, pinching his left nipple while twisting it, causing Matthew to shriek and laugh simultaneously, bending and curling in on himself. Y/n quickly grabbed the bottle and sauntered over to the desk, hopping on top with a triumphant smile on her face.

Laughing, Matthew straightens up, rubbing his assaulted nipple. 

“You Ma’am, play dirty,” he mumbled, starting to feel the effects of the weed and Jack.

Smiling sweetly, Y/n placed the bottle on the desk between her spread legs. As she started to swing her feet back and forth, she asked, “Your point?”

In a daze, Matthew stood and stared at the location of the bottle and her bare legs. He shook his head, looking back up and distractedly stated, “You don’t have pants on.”

Y/n smiled lazily as she swayed on top of the desk, “Nope, but we already covered that. Do you want me to put on pants?”

“No… Can I have another drink? I promise not to hog it… I’m in fear for my body parts,” he slurred, as he rubbed his nipple again.

Y/n giggled and said, “Only if you take your pants off. You see, you’re violating one of this room’s vital rules.”

Swallowing nervously, his hand started to slide down his chest, as though it had a mind of its own.

“Which is?” he asked, his voice slightly cracking.

“This is a strictly a no-pants room. Only comfortable attire here,” she said, spreading her arms out as if presenting the room. The movement pulled his shirt further open, exposing more of her breasts and allowing a hard, perk nipple to peak out from under the fabric. 

With his eyes glued to her mind-blowing tits, Matthew cleared his throat, and said “And want if I refuse? You going to kick me out?” His hand stopping on his belt buckle.

Y/n stared at him for a moment as she dropped her arms, pulling his eyes back to her face, and replied, “Yup,” popping the P.

Matthew then hurriedly kicked off his shoes and unfastened his belt and pants, pausing after.

“You’ll let me have a drink if I do?”

“It’s my only stip- stipulation, yes,” Y/n slurred.

He then quickly removed his pants, throwing them onto a chair by the table. Standing in the middle of the room in a t-shirt, a pair of Mickey Mouse boxers, and a pair of mismatched tube socks, Matthew held his hand out for the bottle.

“Na uh, you will have to come and get it,” Y/n said, biting her lip and smiling.

His eyes flicker back down to the bottle resting between her spread, bare thighs, and he involuntarily swallows. Slowly, Matthew made his way over to Y/n, stopping directly in front of her.

She let go of the bottle and spread her legs a little wider, leaning back on her hands. She watched as he reached between her legs, carefully retrieving the bottle. He then put it to his lips and took a long slip. His eyes never once left her’s.

“I like the Mickey Mouse boxers. Next time, I’ll steal those,” she said, scraping her nail along the elastic waistband of his choice of underwear. She watched as he shivered and goose bumps spread along his abdomen. There was also a distinct twitch beneath the thin cotton as he began to swell. 

“Better not, they’re my favorite,” he said, slightly slurring his words and swaying as he took another sip. She was right. He should probably slow down.

Seeing how Matthew’s eyes clouded over for a minute, Y/n reached up and took back the bottle. Taking a long swig of her own, she finished the liquor. 

Matthew’s eyes refocused to notice that the bottle was now empty and he pouted, causing Y/n to giggle. Matthew then looked down to where he stood between her legs and up at her exposed stomach. God, how he wished it grew instead of Vivian’s. Without realizing it, he had laid his hands on the outsides of her thighs. Looking back up at Y/n’s face, he noticed her breathing had quickened and she was staring at him, daringly. Just as Matthew started to lean closer to her lips, an old familiar song started to play on the radio, pulling Y/n’s attention away from him.

As “Old time Rock N’ Roll” started to play from the radio, Y/n’s face lit up and she gave him the biggest smile he had seen on her face since Vivian’s pregnancy. Sliding off the desk, she brought them dangerously close together, and she looked up at him, gleefully, and said, “Let’s dance!” Pushing past him, she scurried to the radio, turning it up as she started to dance, much like she did in his childhood bedroom, thirteen years ago.

Holding her hand out to him, she encouraged him to join her. Laughing, he started his own crazy dance moves, causing Y/n to go into fits of laughter. As they danced, she became lost in the music. Closing her eyes, she pretended they were in a different time. She didn’t notice when Matthew stopped dancing and stood dead still in front of her, watching as she danced. Nor did she see, as his bottom lip started to wobble and tears started to trickle down his cheeks.

It was probably the weed and liquor, but watching Y/n so happily dancing was making him emotional. Why couldn’t she had let them happen sooner. This is how it could have always been. He hated his life now. All he wanted was for her to be his. But that’s not how it played out and here they were in some shitty hotel room, playing pretend.

In that moment, he had to touch her. He couldn’t be away from her any longer. So, he wrapped his arm around her slender waist and pulled her towards him, ducking his head, and resting on her shoulder.

Y/n yelped in surprise as, Matthew quickly yanked her to him. At first she started to giggle at his antics, but then realized he was crying. Confused, but concerned, she reached up, placing a hand on the back of his head, lacing her finger in his long hair.

“Matthew…,” she asked quietly, trying to pull back to see his face, but he only held her tighter.

“Shhh…,” was his only answer, before his lips found the side of her neck. 

As Matthew kissed, sucked and nipped his way up her jaw, Y/n’s eyes slid shut and she gasped, before letting her head tip back with a moan. The things this man could do with his mouth. Her grasp on his hair tightened, as her other arm wrapped around his back, her fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt. 

Feeling her nails bite into his flesh, Matthew moaned, and placed his forehead against hers and nuzzled their noses. His name slipped, so softly from her lips, it was barely audible and he moved his hands up to cup her face, as his lips finally found hers. 

He couldn’t get enough of her taste, her smell, or the whines and moans that pulled from her. He knew he had to stop though, but she needed to give him a reason. He wasn’t strong enough on his own. 

Reluctantly, he pulled away, his face only inches from hers. He stared into her lust blown eyes, pleadingly and with a tight emotional voice, he begged, “Tell me to stop… I can’t if you don’t tell me.”

Looking up desperately, into his wet eyes, Y/n own tears started to fall. She shook her head subtly and with a wavering quite voice, she whispered, “I can’t… I’m sorry.”

Taking a shaky breath, Matthew crashed his lips into hers and they kissed with a renewed desperation. His hands moved to the two buttons, fastening his shirt to her body, but in his haste to undue them, they popped off, leaving her chest exposed to the room’s cool air. Quickly, he pushed the shirt off her shoulders and pulled away long enough to pull his own shirt, with her help, over his head. He then cupped the back of her head and drew her into another desperate kiss. Her hands sprawled across his chest and moved up to wrap around the back of his neck, as he reached down and lifted her up, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist.

Matthew carried Y/n over to the table, causing empty bottles to tumble and roll down to the carpeted floor with a thud. They both giggled between kisses and her hands started to move down to his waist, but he stopped her and suddenly pushed her down onto the table. 

“Not yet baby. I need to taste you. God, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he whined as his hands practically clawed at the briefs she was wearing. Pulling them down a off her legs, he dropped to knees and yanked he ass closer to the edge. The sudden movement caused her squeak in surprise and old table groan in protest. Y/n giggled and propped up on her elbow, to watch as Matthew licked her from her ass to clit and began fingering her mercilessly.

“Fuck, baby. You’re killing me with your mouth. Ahhh, god yes… Matthew.” Reaching down she brushed his messy hair from his eyes and then knotted her finger within his hair

Matthew loved the way she tasted. If he could bottle it he would. Crooking his fingers, he started to strum that spot that he knew always got her going. As if one cue, her grip on his hair tightened and her thighs began to quiver. Her moans and desperate please for compilation made a thought pass through his mind. Smiling, he removed his fingers, sucked them clean, and then stood. “Matthew… w- why did you stop? I was so close baby. I was right there.”

Leaning over her body, Matthew cupped the back of her head and pulled her mouth to his, letting her taste herself on his lips. “I know,” was all he said, smirking as he pulled away from her. 

She gave him a confused look, before whining in frustration and reaching once again for his the waistband of his boxers, only for him to stop her again. Licking his lips, he shook his head no. “Not yet, plus I don’t think this table could handle us.”

Y/n laughed know he was probably right. “What game are you playing with me Gubler,” she asked with a pout.

“No game, just drawing it out. I thought you would think it was fun.”

Reaching up she ran her fingers through his hair and sweetly said, “Do you know what’s fun? Orgasm!”

Matthew chuckled, before he started to hungrily kiss her. Groaning into her mouth, he once more lifted her, this time carrying her over to bed. When his knees hit the edge of the mattress, they both collapsed onto the bed in a giggling heap. Their hands moved desperately over each other’s body. Matthew pulled away and kneeled between her legs. Once again, he was taken back by how beautiful she was. He had seen her naked body so many times now, but it still always left him in awe. Never had he been more attracted to a woman in his life.

“Matthew… I really need you to come back to me. I need you against my skin,” Y/n pleaded, reaching out for him. 

Finally riding himself of his boxers and socks, Matthew climbed back onto the bed and lowered his body above her’s, but with touching her. As he hovered over her, he spoke quietly, “You know I love you, right? That I will never stop.”

Closing her eyes, Y/n made a choking noise and nodded her head, then open them again and whispered, “I know, but you should.”

He scowl at her in annoyance and roughly said, “shut up,” and as she opened her mouth to respond his mouth crushed fiercely against her’s, effectively quieting her. When he pulled away he moved to her neck, leaving a trail of saliva and nip marks down to her clavicle. He was almost frenzied as he moved his mouth across her skin.

One of her hands cupped the back of his head tugging and tangling in his hair, while the other was laced with his and pressed into the mattress next to her head. Y/n arched her body into the pleasure he was creating and as he shifted to the side she gasped, as his erection pressing into her hip.

Laying one his side next to her, Matthew trailed his hand from her neck, down between the valley of her breasts, stopping to tug and roll her hardened nipples, before gliding over her smooth stomach, and coming to a rest between her things. Pulling his mouth from her skin, he looked up into Y/n eyes and ran the tips of his fingers along the outside of her moistened lips. When she releases a hitched breath in anticipation of his touch, he whispered, “You’re so beautiful. You’ve always been so unbelievably gorgeous to me …. It’s sometimes like looking into the sun… almost painful.” 

Y/n pulled his mouth back to hers and as they meet, he side his fingers between her folds. She moaned against his lips as his fingers gently teased her entrance. Slowly, he then slide his fingers up to gently pinch and then massage her bundle of nerves. Her legs involuntary spread, as her hips lifted with the sensation. 

Matthew hummed at her body’s reaction, as his mouth swallowed her moans. Decided he would rather hear them he pulled away from her lips. Moving to kneel between her legs again, he let go of her hand and moving it to massage her breast. Leaning over her, once more, he wrapped his lips around her nipple flicked the tip with his tongue. His fingers then slid back down and as he locked his eyes with her hooded gaze, as he slowly slid two fingers into her pussy.

As he filled her with his long fingers, her mouth hung open in ecstasy and her eyes fell closed. 

“No, open you’re eyes. I want you to watch me,” he demanded as he kissed his way to her other breast and pumped his fingers faster within her.

Whining, Y/n forces her eyes open and got lost in his heated stare. When his thumb came up to circle her clit, her hips jerked as she swore and started to rock them along with his rhythm. Propping up on her elbow, she reached down between them and wrapped her hand around his cock and started to stroke him slowly, causing Matthew to curse. His own eye slid shut, as he rested his forehead against her chest. 

Humming, she smiled to herself, and said, “Eyes up here baby. I want you to watch me.”

Matthew chuckled low, and lifted his head to be meet with her smug smile, “touché,” he said reaching down to pull her hand from his erection. “I said not yet, baby. I want to make you feel good and I still have to have on you my tongue again.”

Y/n breath hitched at the thought of him returning his mouth to her sex. The way he was always licking and biting his lips, was beginning to slowly drive her mad. His mouth was literally a weapon of destruction and he kept using it to completely reck her. It was probably a good this he didn’t do it when they were younger, because she would have never survived it. 

She clutched at the bed linens as he crooked his fingers, once more finding her gspot, and he started to slowly coax her to the edge. As he increased his the speed of his hand, her hips frantically tried to keep up and her moans got louder. She was so close, she drew in a deep breath and held it as her body stilled, waiting to feel the tension snap, but once again Matthew pulled his hand away from her pussy, causing her to literally sob.

“Omg, Matthew! Do you hate me?”

He just smiled at her sweetly, and said, “I really love the sounds you make when I touch you. Even when we were young, you use to drive me crazy with those little breathy gasps. The dreams I would have about you….” Matthew said, completely ignoring her building frustration. 

Y/n couldn’t take it any longer, he had completely stopped touching her. Her hip were still rolling, as if to beg for any kind of friction. Reaching up, she harshly gripped back of his head and crushed his lips to hers. Their kiss was hard and demanding. All teeth and tongues.

He hissed as she roughly, as pulled him away from her by his hair, and in dangerous voice she said, “you need to fucking touch me. If you don’t, I might actually kill you. Please stop torturing me.”

At first, he was shocked by her words, but he then chuckled and smiled down at her and said, “As my lady commands,” and started to kiss his why back down her body, causing Y/n to sigh in relief. As he passed her breasts, he gave each one a quick moment of his attention, before continuing down her stomach.

Over the years he had thought about what would have happened if she never left. He imagined they would be married with kids. And not for the first time that night, he envisioned what she would look like carrying their child. He had become so lost in his thoughts, he had completely stopped his journey down to her mound. With his forehead resting above her navel, he spread his large hand across her lower abdomen.

Confused by what he was doing and why he had stopped, Y/n reached down and ran her fingers through his hair and questioned, “Baby?”

The word alone jerked him out of his fantasy and he momentarily looked up at her, their eyes locking. She looked confused, but sympathetic to whatever he was struggling with something. Somewhat ashamed and not wanting to explain, he quickly looked away and continued down to nip her hip bone. He was probably a little rougher then he should’ve been and there would definitely be a mark left behind, but he be lying if he said he wasn’t a little bitter about how things had turned out for them. He just needed to push the fantasy out of his mind, because at this point, that’s all it would ever be. He wasn’t stupid, he noticed the luggage in the corner of the room. She was leaving and any chance they ever had at a future would be leaving with her. So he left her with a parting gift, a pretty little bruise to add to the ones she had stupidly given herself. 

Still confused by his gentle reverence of her stomach, Y/n was left even more dumbfounded by the sharp, stinging bite he gave her. She had yelped in pain, but he just silently moved down and settled between her thighs. She didn’t have time to question him before he gave her pussy a long, flat tongued sweep and then wrapped his lips around her sensitive bud. He then roughly, thrusted three fingers within her and began a hard, fast pace. Y/n, for a third time that night, was close to reaching climax. As Matthew fucked her with his fingers, he worked magic with his lips and tongue. Her legs began to shake and she grabbed the back of his head so he couldn’t pull away this time. All the while, she unconsciously ground her pussy against his face. She threw her head back, as a loud keening noise slipped from deep from her throat.

As her walls tightened around his fingers, he could feel her release gush over his palm and forearm. The first time they had done this, she had told him he was the only man to make her body react that why. He always felt proud when he was able to make her squirt and he smiled around her clit, while continuing to flick it with his tongue.

Matthew’s continued attention to her clit was becoming almost painful, but she was so weak from her first orgasm she was unable to push him away. As he continued to pump his fingers and lick her clit, Y/n released a pained moan before seeing white. Her body tensed as she was hit with another wave of intense pleasure. Once again, she bathed Matthew in her release. Her body, working on its own accord, rolled away from Matthew’s touch and snapped her legs shut. As the fog lifted from her head, she could hear Matthew chuckling, as he crawled up the bed to spoon her. They laid silently, as he softly kissed her shoulder and back, while running his hand gently along her side, waiting for her to recover. 

Finally able to feel her legs and breath at a semi- normal pace, Y/n rolled over to face Matthew. Pushing the hair from his face, she smiled at him. 

“You ok? I thought I broke you there for a minute. Did that make up for teasing you,” he asked jokingly. 

Blissfully giggling, she said, “oh no, I’m good. It was mind- blowing and explosive, as usual.”

Matthew chuckled, “Can I just say, I take pride in the fact that I’m the only one who can get you to explode like that.”

Giving him a breathy laugh, she said, “yeah, I noticed.”

“You’re just so gorgeous when you come. I wish I could watch it for the rest of my life. I love you.”

She leaned in and gently kissed him, tasting herself on his lips. He moaned as she rolled them so she was on top. As she stared to move down his body with her lips, he stopped her and looked her deeply in the eyes. 

“I just want to feel you, I need to be inside you… please,” he asked pleadingly. With a nod, Y/n moved back up his body and captured his lips another tender kiss as she situated herself over his hips. She then rubbed her pussy along his erection, pulled a deep moan from Matthew as his hands tightly gripped her hips. She reached down between them and lined him up with her with her entrance. Without warning, he thrusted up into her, while pulling her down by her hips. She was so shocked by the sudden invasion, she fell forward. Her eyes closed and her hands landing on either side of his head. When she opened her eyes, Matthew was staring lovingly up at her, making her heart clench. As she started to slowly rock up and down on him, Y/n had to close her eyes to protect her heart. She knew that if she continued to stare into his eyes, she would never be able to get on that bus tomorrow. She would return to the apartment and continue to tear his life apart. 

“Please, Y/n don’t. Please stay in the moment with me. Let me make love to you? Like it should have been twelve years ago… like it should have been all along. Please sweetheart, open your eyes.”

Hearing his desperation, she steeled herself, she opened her eyes as he requested and looked down at the gorgeous man beneath her. His mouth was hanging open in ecstasy as she started to pick up the pace. Their eyes locked and she knew the charade was over. She loved him and she was not going to be able to let him go after tonight. She hoped that this was a turning point. She was unable to express these feelings clearly with her words, so she decided to show him with her eyes and body. 

Without taking her eyes off of his, Y/n sat up and braced herself by placing her hands on his stomach. She started to twirl her hips as she moved up and down his now slick cock. The moans and grunts coming from him only egged her on and she started slamming down on his pelvis harder. She threw her head back, but still kept her eyes lock with his. His hands where now moving all over her body leaving goose bumps in their wake.

“Yes, baby. I love it when you touch me. You feel so good when you’re in me. You fit me so well, Matthew. Like you where made for me.”

“It’s because I was,” Matthew gasped, as he sat up and wrapped his arm around her waist, matching her rhythm, and pulled her into a messy kiss. Pulling away he looked deep in her eyes like he was searching for something.

Nervously, he asked, “Do you still love me?”

Y/n stopped moving and stared into his gaze with confusion.

“My whole life… forever and always,” she quietly, placing a hand right above his heart.

“Then way are you leaving me,” he asked in a pained voice.

When she just looked at him, her mouth opening and closing, unable to give him an answer. 

Realizing that she had no response, Matthew suddenly flipped them, causing her to yelp in surprise. He would just have to try and change her mind. So, from his position on top or hers, he smashed his lips to hers, while pulling her legs around himself. Slowly, he started to move within her and when he pulled back from her mouth, he peppered her face with kisses as he started to desperately ramble, “Fuck, ahhh.. I love you so much….please don’t leave me…shiiit … you feel so, fucking good…. Baby, you’re my whole world… please stay.” 

His thrusts became slow and hard. Causing Y/n to grunt and slide up the bed with the impact. Trying to keep herself from hitting the headboard she clutched his arms, which were on either side of her head.

“Yes… Matthew… fuck, baby… oh, god yes. Ahhh… ahhh, shit… you’re so deep… ahhh,” she screamed when he got up his knees and pressed her legs together and draped them over his left shoulder. While white knuckling her hips he started to quickly piston his own hips, roughly slamming into her.

Y/n had to push against the headboard, as to not slam into it. He had never fucked her this hard, but she was loving it. Just the right amount of pain and pleasure.

As her walls started to quiver around him, Matthew slowed his pace again. Lowering and spreading her legs so he could lay between them. His rhythm was now agonizingly slow and gentle. A place opposite to just moments before. His lips were all over her, anywhere he could reach and he in twined their fingers and held her hands above her head. 

Y/n wrapped her legs around Matthew and tilted her pelvis allowing Matthew to bottom out and hit her sweet spot. She arched in to him and pleaded with him to make her cum. 

“Please baby.. please… I’m so close… I need to feel you fill me. Please Matthew, let me feel you cum, baby.”

Matthew groaned at her words and covered her mouth with his. He new that she was on birth control, but so had Vivian. But he would happily welcome it with Y/n, so his mind slipped back to his earlier fantasy and he couldn’t help but hope that maybe… just maybe. Pulling away from her lips he pressed his forehead against her’s, released one of her hands, and began to rub her clit. 

“You ready sweetheart? I’m so close… god I love filling you baby. I don’t think… I could ever have it… ahhh… fuck… any other way,” Matthew said, in a strained voice, his thrusts becoming shallow and uneven.

“It’s how we’ve always been. You’re the only one baby. The way it was the first time and it’s how I want it this time… you’re the only one I’ve ever let do it. The only one I wanted to feel. Please baby… I need all of it. I need you Matthew.”

Her words were what pushed him over the edge, with three staggered thrusted he emptied deeply inside Y/n, triggering her own body, recking orgasm.

Matthew collapse on top of her, with his face buried in her hair. His fast and uneven breaths tickled her neck, as the weight of his slim body, pleasantly pinned her down. She could feel their combined release leaking from her body as he softened within her. With her legs and arms still loosely wrapped around him, she had never felt so complete in her entire life. This is how it could be if they hadn’t made such a mess of everything. How it should be. She had, had a moment, while they were making love, where she thought that she would stay and try, but now that she had come down, she knew it wasn’t how it was going to work out. He also clearly knew she was leaving, but she felt he deserved to hear still say it, “Matthew? Baby….?”

Moaning, he sleeping mumbled an apology and rolled off her causing them both to groan as he slipped from her body. Snuggling up to her side, he pulled her face to his and gently kissed her lips. 

“Do you have to get back,” Y/n asked quietly, as she watched sleep slowly take hold of Matthew.

“No, I told her I wouldn’t be back tonight,” he mumbled, as he wrapped his arm around her waist. “I love you,” he whispered against her skin, as he feel fast to sleep. 

Smiling sadly to herself, Y/n turned in his arms so he was spooning her. “I love you, too,” she said quietly, closing her eyes and following him into sleep. They could always talk in the morning.

*****

The next morning, Matthew woke with a groan and the intense sensation of Y/n’s mouth around his dick. Opening one eye, he hissed and then whimpered as she looked up at him and winked, before taking his whole length in her mouth and down her throat. He watched as she bobbed her head, causing her eyes to begin to water. Propping up he pushed the hair from her face and guided her up off of him. “As good as the feels baby, and it feels really good, I hate seeing tears in your eyes. You don’t have to swallow me whole, baby.” 

“Maybe, I get a sense of pride in being able to swallow you whole. It no small feat, believe me.”

Matthew laughed and sat up pull her towards him so she could crawl up on his lap an straddle him. Reaching down, he ran his fingers through her folds and moaned at how wet she was for him. 

“I haven’t even touched you. How are you so fucking wet,” he asked, as he started to kiss along her shoulder and neck. Y/n gasped, as she exposed more of her neck to him and threaded her fingers through his messy hair.

“Ahhh… maybe I just like sucking you off… or I had a really great dream. Fuck… baby,” she grunted and leaned back, arching into his mouth as he latched onto her nipple. “It’s also possible, I played with myself while watching you sleep and again while you were half way down my throat.”

Matthew chuckled against her breast, and released her nipple with an audible pop said, “you’re such a creepy little girl. Playing with yourself while watching me innocently sleep.”

Y/n bite her lip and gave him a lopsided smile, as she reached down and gently grasped his cock. “Is that the scenario you’re choosing?” She pumped him a couple times, before lifting her hips and gliding the swollen head of his dick through her moist folds. Matthew hissed at the sensation, looked down to watch as she lined herself up with him. As she slowly sunk down his length, he raised his eyes and locked them with hers. She was looking down at him with her mouth hanging open as she released a shuddered breath.

She was like a goddess, beautiful beyond belief. He would never find a more perfect woman. He truly believed that he would never be able to love someone more then the woman above him.

As she started to move, Y/n place her hands on his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around her waist. They moved together in a steady pace, enjoying the way the other made their body feel.

When they were both close, Matthew pulled her mouth down to his and kissed her deeply, as he rolled them, so they were laying down and he was on top. Without skipping a beat, Matthew rocked within her, pulling delicious sounds from her body. As they both worked towards their climax, they clung tight to each other, as if they knew this would be their last time together. As they fell over the edge, they were both silently crying. This was the end. He would return to a loveless relationship he was chained to by a baby and she would be once again be running from a painful situation.

Once he had finally caught his breath and his muscles were willing to cooperate, Matthew removed himself from her body, causing Y/n to groan. He then reluctantly, rolled out of the bed and silently started to collect his clothes. He refused to look back at Y/n, even though he could feel her eyes burning into his back. After gathering his cloths, he slipped into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As he waited for the water to heat he stared at himself in the mirror. He wasn’t sure he would be able to walk out of this room, knowing he would probably never see her again. Everything about this felt wrong. Turning away from himself, he sighed and step into the now warm shower, to wash away the pain and evidence for their last time together.

*****

Hearing the click of the bathroom door stung. Y/n didn’t know what she expected, that they would cuddle the morning away? Spend the day together? No, none of those thing were going to happen. They both knew what this was. It was goodbye.

Wrapping the top sheet around her body, Y/n shuffled over to the table and pulled out her stash of weed and quickly rolled a joint and lite it. She then wander over to the fridge and pulled out another bottle of liquor and twisted the cap off. Taking a couple of long pulls, she set the bottle on the desk next to the empty one Matthew helped her finish, and located both his alien shirt and briefs. Dangling her joint from her mouth, she quickly folded both articles of clothing and placed them neatly on the desk. Grabbing her new bottle, once again, Y/n made her way back to the bed and sat up against the head board, while flipping through the channels on the tv. Every once and a while she would take a pull from her joint or a swig of her booze, which is how Matthew found her when he exited the bathroom.

Finally working up the nerve to look in the direction of the bed, he was greeted with the cold and emotionless face of the woman he loved. It wasn’t even 10 am and she was already numbing herself with drugs and alcohol. Swallowing, he asked, “when are you leaving and for how long?”

Her eyes momentarily flickered from the tv to him and she said, “tomorrow and I won’t be coming back. You know that. Don’t ask dumb, pain- inflicting questions.” She knew she was lying about when she was leaving, but she knew he would show up and try and stop her. She didn’t want to risk it. She would be long gone by time he came back.

“Can you tell me where you are going at least?”

“No, because I don’t know. I just bought a one way ticket out of here.” Another lie.

Matthew stood there awkwardly staring at his feet. When she heard him sniffle, she pulled her eyes away from the tv and glanced at him. It was a mistake. Her heart shattered at the sight of him. He looked so much like the young, lonely boy she first meet. 

Sighing, she stubbed out her joint and still wrapped in the sheet, made her way over to Matthew and wiped the tears from his face. 

“Don’t cry. You went 12 years without me and you were fine. You will be fine this time too. The pain will pass and you will move on. You’ll be so busy with the dad thing that you won’t have time to think about me. I promise. Your career is taking off. It’s only the beginning for you. I am such a small molecule of your life. Fifteen years from now you will be married to someone and have bratty teenagers. I’ll be so far from your mind. So don’t cry. Don’t make this hard.” She knew she was being unfair to ask him not to cry, but it made her want to cave.   
She also knew it wouldn’t be wonderful for her. All she saw in her future was empty bottles and stained hotel rooms. A one night stand here or there. 

“Please, don’t leave me. What about you. Who is going to take care of you?” He reached up and pushed her hair out of her face. “I love you and I need you. Don’t leave.”

She just smiled sadly at him and walked over to the table and collected his stolen clothing items. Walking back to him she held them out and said, “Trust me, you don’t need me. Goodbye, Matthew Gubler. I will love you forever and always.” With that she leaned forward and place a chaste kiss on his lips. When they touch Matthew let out a silent sob and took the bundle of clothing. Y/n stepped back brushed the tears from his face and then walked past him, shutting herself in the bathroom.

******

Matthew was late for work that morning. It didn’t help that the front of the studio gates had several paparazzi posted out front. He just didn’t want to be there. So, he kept to himself for most of the day, just studying his lines and doing his best to get Y/n off his mind. He felt gutted and empty. 

When he entered the props department, his heart clenched as he realized he would never again walk through those doors and be greeted by her beautiful smile or stolen kisses. The worst part however, was having to inform a worried Kathryn that, not only would Y/n not be returning because she was leaving town, but she had also fallen off the wagon.

“What! Why didn’t she call me? She has been doing so good. What could have set her off like this,” she asked, pulling out her phone.

“Don’t bother, that number doesn’t work. She destroyed her phone. I can give you the number to the burner phone I bought her, but she is dead set on leaving. So, I doubt she will even answer,” Matthew explain scratching down the number on a piece of paper. 

“Do you know how this happened,” Kathryn asked, as he started to leave the room. Pausing, he looked back with tears in his eyes. “Because of me. Because we just keep hurting each other,” he said, with a quiet, shaky voice, before slipping through the door.

*****

Y/n had finished packing up her things and putting the remainder of her alcohol in her backpack. She planned to drink the entire way to Vegas.

She had contacted Benny the day before and told him she was coming and that she would need a place to stay. Their relationship was still on the mend, so he was happy to do anything to rebuild the bridge between them. He didn’t even tear into her about drinking again… well, not much, anyway.

Her bus didn’t leave until 7 pm, but she wanted to clear out from the hotel, just in case Matthew decided to show back up. She wasn’t so far from the set that he couldn’t just pop in during a lengthy filming break or lunch and set change. She just figured she would stop at Ziggy’s before she left. She wanted to slip a note thanking him for everything he had done for her and to apologize for letting him down. She told him that when she got a new permanent phone, she would send him a text every once in a while to let him know she was ok. Only if he promised no to tell Matthew where she was at.

She had gotten a text from Kathryn, whom she also thanked and apologized to. She was so grateful for the time and effort she put into Y/n, trying to make her a better person. 

Looking over the empty hotel room one last time, Y/n shut the door behind her. She stopped by the front office, just for a moment, handing the clerk something, asking them to give it to someone who needs it more than her. Once outside, Y/N took in a deep breath, feeling the bright, mid-afternoon sun heat up her entire body. On the way to the bus station, she grabbed a bite to eat, hoping it would be enough to soak up all the alcohol she’d drank, but she was only kidding herself. No amount of food could absorb that much. Especially when she didn’t plan on slowing down her drinking. While waiting for her bus, Y/N napped on the nearest bench, occasionally listening to sad songs on her MP3 player and doing various crosswords and word searches. All the while, sneaking sips whenever possible.

When 7pm came along she was pretty drunk and when they call for loading she practically stumbled onto the bus. She made her way to the very back and plopped down, piling her stuff in the seat next to her. As, the bus pulled away from the station, Y/n was surprised that it wasn’t all that full. Which was ok by her. Pulling another discrete sip from a bottle, Y/n settled down and stared blankly out the window, as the city passed by her. Moving her further way, from her home.

***** 

Vivian texted Matthew durning her lunch hour. Just seeing her name flash onto his phone screen made him want to be sick. If it wasn’t for Viv, Y/n would still be a part of his life. 

She wanted to inquire on wither or not Y/n made herself cozy at home. Matthew hated, that she had won. He hated telling her even more. She was definitely very happy to hear that the thorn had been officially removed from her side. 

Vivian informed him that they would be meeting at his apartment tonight. Though, next time, she may want to change her mind about coming here, once she is greeted by the welcome wagon just outside the gate. He thought for sure that the trash reporters were going to follow him in the garage, but they didn’t. That didn’t stop them from taking his picture and shouting questions through the gate, as he got out of his car, though. He just waved and gave a polite smile and made his way to the elevator.

Once he got inside his apartment he could feel her absence. Looking to his right, he saw her key chain sitting on a side table. Shutting the door behind him. He collected the keys and slipped them in his pocket before Vivian tried to take her claim. 

Stepping into his living room he paused and listened to the eerie silence that filled the apartment. He couldn’t help but think that it no longer felt like his home. In fact, he didn’t think it would ever feel like home again. 

With a sigh, he turned and headed into her room. She had left it a complete disaster. He wasn’t even surprised, nor did he blame her.   
Shuffling over to her bed, he plopped done on the edge and surveyed the room around him. He noticed that she had left a lot behind. Vivian will want to through it all out. He just wanted squirrel it all away. Preserve every last bit of her, he had left.

Sighing, he wiped at his eyes not even realizing that they had become wet. He climbed into her bed and buried his face into her pillow and inhaling what lingering scent it had to offer. Which is how, Vivian found him. 

Scoffing at how pathetic he was, she looking at the room with disgust and said, “I should talk to my lawyer and see if there is a to hit her with a clean up costs. Because once again, she’s left you to pick up her mess. Only it’s literal this time. Anyway, I’m gunna go start dinner. I guess I’ll leave you to your blubbering.”

Not even phased by Vivian’s jab, Matthew just rolled over into his back and started at the ceiling, noticing for the first time, that Y/n had recently stuck glow- in- the- dark stars above her bed. He couldn’t help, but smile to himself and the childhood memories that came with the discovery. He closed his eyes so he could imagine her smiling face and the way she laughed when he panicked only four steps up the ladder. She was beautiful.

It was then, he realized he had to stop her. She couldn’t leave! He wouldn’t let her! Jumping up out of her bed he hurried out of her room and grabbed his keys.

“Matthew! Dinner is almost done. Where you going?”

Matthew paused with his hand on the door. He then laughed to himself and swung around to face Vivian. Looking at her he knew what  
He needed to do. He didn’t… no wouldn’t let this be the rest of his life. 

“Vivian, I think it’s time to call this done.”

“Done? What’s that supposed to mean?”

He looked at her like she was stupid. “Done. As in, we are over. Like, it’s time for you to collect your things and go.”

“You’re breaking up with me? Even though she is gone?”

“Yes and she isn’t gone yet. She doesn’t leave until tomorrow, but I plan to convince her not to go. You being out of the picture will help.”

“What about the baby? You just going to abandon your child?”

“Fuck no, definitely not. This, the way we are, isn’t how any child should grow up. Our whole relationship is fucked and toxic and I’m not going to be a part of it anymore. When the baby is born and proven to be mine, I’m going to be crazy involved in its life. But that doesn’t mean I have to be with you to do it. I will get partial custody and Y/n and I will love the baby like it is our own.”

“Like hell am I going to let some alcoholic slut bag, help raise my baby.And if-“

“Don’t call her that,” he interrupted, angrily.

Vivian just laughed and continued, “And if you break up with me I will destroy you. So, you may want to take a minute to reconsider.”

“I don’t need to. I’m pretty sure about this decision. Hell, I fantasize about kicking you to the curb at least three times and hour. If you’re going to take me down, then do it. I don’t care. As long as, I have her, nothing you say or do will hurt me. S, go turn off the stove, oven or whatever you have on and get your things. I’ll box up the rest of your shit this weekend and we will figure out a good time for you to pick it up.”

Vivian just stood there and stared at him for a long moment, before scoffing and storming into the kitchen. Matthew watched has she turned everything off and grabbed her purse and headed for the door.

“Suite yourself,” she said, as she walked out the door and thank god, his life.

Releasing a sigh of relief, Matthew fallowed her out and into the elevator. It was an awkward ride to say the least, but he didn’t give it much thought. He was just happy that he was about to go sweep his girl off her feet. He was going to convince her to comeback and that they could work through it together. 

*****

It was almost midnight, when her bus pulled into the Las Vegas bus stop. Y/n was so plastered, she could barely make her way to the front of the bus. It had taken her so long to get to the door, that she was the last one off. So the fact that Benny was standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her was a blessing. Especially, when she tripped and he caught her and saved her from eating concrete. 

With a sigh, he supported her as she collected her luggage and practically carried her and her bags to his truck. He helped her get into the passenger side seat and then loaded the truck. 

“You better not throw up in my truck. I’ll make you clean it,” he said, slipping into the driver’s seat, before noticing she was passed out.

“What am going to do with you,” he asked himself, as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to his home.

*****

Matthew ran up the hotel stairs and to Y/n’s hotel room. He tried to text her, but she didn’t answer him, so he hope that he could catcher her in her room. If not he was going to swing by the bar and drag her hone.

Knocking on the door, he quietly waited for the door to open, but when it did it was a heavy set middle aged man in boxers and a undershirt. Matthew had clearly woken him up and he was none to happy about it. Checking the number on the door again, he confirmed it was the right room.

She didn’t bring this guy home did she? “Where is Y/n,” he asked, trying to look around the guy and into the room and called out, “Y/n, you in there “

“Excuse me! Excuse me, sir! I don’t know who you are looking for, but she is not here. I just checked in two hours ago. Now if you don’t mind, please leave. You show up again, I will call the cops,” the man said, before slamming the door in Matthew’s confused and concerned face.

“I’m sorry,” he quietly, mumbled to the man through the closed door, before distractedly wandering to the front office.

“Hello, can I help you, sir?”

Matthew looked up and asked, “yeah, the girl in 203. Did she check out and when?”

The girl behind the desk, tapped on the keyboard in front of her and said, “Um, it looks like she checked out around noon. That’s about all I can really tell you.”

She had lied. She knew is she had told him she was leaving tonight he would try to stop her, just like he was trying to do now. She was probably long gone by now. God only knows where. His heart felt like is was dissolving in his chest. As he was about to walk out of the office and back out to the parking lot the girl behind the desk called out to him.

“Oh sir, wait! She did leave this behind though. She said to give it to someone who needs it more then her. It was a little odd, actually. I’m mean, who just gives away their phone.” The young woman held out the burner for him, but he did not move to take it. It was useless to him now.

Sighing, and in a sad and defeated voice, Matthew said, “yeah, she can be a little odd. Just keep it, or just throw it out. Thanks anyway.” He then left the office and trudged back to his car, where he quickly fell apart.

*****

It had been five weeks. Five long weeks, since she had left. Not a sign, not a word. He had tried asking Kathryn and Ziggy both if they had heard from her, but they both refused to tell him. They would just insist that they were sure she was fine.

He had pretty much been running on autopilot. His friends and family were all concerned for him. His mother even came and stayed with him a couple of days, two weeks back.

She had told him to hang in there, that she believed that they would cross paths again. She also told him not to mess it up the next time they did. 

The only good thing to happen in the last month was getting to voice Simon and the fact that, all the baby stuff with Vivian, had blown over.

True to her word, Vivian tired to throw him under the bus. She also shared tons of dirt about Y/n. She even lied and said he had a drinking problem himself. But karma was a bitch and it all back fired on her. After hiring about their split, Scott tried to snag Vivian for himself. He wanted her to come clean and tell the world it was his baby, but when she refused, he in turn, exposed her. He told everything. How she knew Matthew wanted to end their relationship and how she lied about being pregnant. But when she tried to get pregnant and was unsuccessful, she had gone to Scott for help, so that her boyfriend wouldn’t find out she had lied to trap him. The media was having a field day with the new development and they were not all that kind to Vivian about it. She had even been written of her show. Now that the tables had turned, the press had thankfully, gotten off his ass.

He just wish he could hear Y/n’s voice. He missed her so much. So, when he started getting calls in the last week, from an unknown, Vegas number, it dawned on him that it might be her. So he started answering. Whoever was on the other side of the line never spoke, but he knew they were there. When he would say her name and plead with her to speak, there would just be shuffling on the other side and then the call would disconnect. Sometimes he would just say, “I miss you,” or, “I love you,” but there was never a response and they would just disconnect. 

He even texted the number on occasion, but they would always be left on read with a time stamp. Wherever he went to Vegas he would still send one out just to say:

Matthew 📱: I love you and I miss you! Please Y/n, if this is you. Please baby, say something. I’ll be at my mom’s for a couple of days. I hope you come and see me. 

*****

The last six weeks have been a blur. Well, the first three where anyways, she had been doing a lot of drinking and a lot of bar hopping. She was hooking up with a lot of women too. She had sworn off men. There was only one she wanted and he was no longer an option. But, she was lonely and having distractions kept her from doing stupid things like calling his phone just listen to his voice. 

But she got bored with it all pretty quickly, and the woman she was hooking up with could tell she really wasn’t into it. They couldn’t even get her off anymore. Though that could have just been the alcohol, but she doubted it. 

About the fourth week in, was when she started feeling exhausted all the time. Not to mention, the constant vomiting. Certain smells would set it off. Like, she could stand the smell of cooking hamburger. 

It wasn’t until two weeks later, when her breast started to swell and hurt that it dawned on her. She was laying in her bed, tenderly rubbing her chest, when she shot up in bed. It dawned on her that she hadn’t been taking her birth control. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had seen it. She wasn’t even certain if she packed it when she left California. Thinking back, she realized that she had not taken her birth control since… well since she started drinking again. Everything was making sense now, exhaustion and vomiting, the tender breasts, the unprotected, hotel sex-a-thon with Matthew. Fuck!

Jumping up out of bed, she called a cab, as she quickly got dressed and grabbed her coat and wallet. She couldn’t believe how stupid she had been. As she waited impatiently in the parking lot for her ride, all she could think about was what she was going to do. What was she going to say to him? She wasn’t even in the same stat as him and she was still complicating his life.When her cab arrived, she jumped into the back and asked to be brought to the nearest convenience store, where she bought three different types of home tests and returned home.

Which brought her to her current situation. Sitting on the bathroom floor, surrounded by various forms of positive, and her phone to her ear. It rung twice before he picked up, “Y/n? Please say something… I miss your voice, Baby… please? Just talk to me. Let me kn-.”

The minute the word baby came out his mouth, she panicked and cut him off as she hung up. She couldn’t put the burden of another child in his lap. She also worried that if he knew, it would diminish what little involvement he had with his other baby. She hadn’t been following up on him, but she knew Vivian had to be at least four or five months now.

I’ll just have to do this on my own, she thought , as she looked down and gently laid her hand above her growing baby.


	14. Part 14

Stepping out of the bathroom, Y/n slipped the one wand she was keeping, into her sweatpants pocket and wandered over to Benny’s bedroom door. Standing outside his room, she nervously worried her hands and tried to decided if she should wake him. 

The reason she needed him, was to help clear out her room of all the alcohol. Being a creature of habit, she had once again, squirreled away several bottles. And while she was pretty sure her discovery and the building worry and guilt of having been drinking as late as that day, would be enough to motivate her to stay sober, she honestly didn’t trust herself. 

So, here she was, trying to work up the nerve to knock on his door. They had gotten in an argument earlier, as they often do these days, and their already strained relationship was on the rocks. Maybe, this would be something that could help mend that bridge. Taking a deep breath, Y/n tapped on the door, quietly rapping at first and then a little louder when she didn’t initially get a response. Y/n dropped her hand when she heard rustling on the other side of the door.

“Benny? I’m sorry… I- I know it’s late, but it’s important. I really need your help with something… Benny?”

The door swung open to reveal her very tired and very unamused younger brother. “What do you need,” he snapped.

Y/n swallowed and open and closed her mouth a couple times, while she tried to figure out what she was going to say. When Benny rolled his eyes and began to shut the door in her face, Y/n suddenly blurred out, “I need you to help me clean the alcohol out of my room, because I just found out I’m pregnant.”

Benny paused, with the door half way closed, and then slowly reopened it. “Did you just say you are pregnant?”

Y/n just nodded with wide, watery eyes.

“Oh, shit,” Benny said, looking shocked.

“Yeah,” she said, with a nervous laugh.

“So… I assume it’s…,” Benny trailed off.

“Matthew‘s? Yeah, of course.”

“Have you told him?”

Y/n shifted her gaze, guiltily to the floor, again starting to ring her hands. “N-no… not yet. I mean… I tried, but I…,” she shifted on her feet and sighed. “I’m going to tell him… just not yet.”

Benny just quietly stared at her and sighed when she risked a peek at him from under her brow. “You better, because it be shitty if you didn’t. Now, let’s go clean out that room real quick. I’ll grab a box.”

*****

Y/n pretty much spent the next day in bed. Her morning sickness and her body’s plea for alcohol, made it hard for her to keep much down and she felt extremely weak. However, between naps, she was able to do searches for low cost clinics she could visit and make sure her baby was developing properly. She was concerned about how heavily she had been drinking up to that point, as well as, what the effect suddenly stopping could have on the baby. So, she found herself googling that as well. 

After locating a low- income woman’s center that helped with outpatient detox for pregnant women, she called and scheduled an appointment. After hanging up, Y/n placed her phone down in front of her, on her bed and just stared at it. She was mentally tried to talk herself into having the courage to call Matthew. Benny was right, it would be shitty if she didn’t tell him. She was just so scared to tell him. She had left L.A. for a reason and here she was, once again, throwing wrenches into the mechanics of his life. 

Groaning in frustration, Y/n flopped back onto her bed. Grabbing a pillow, she covered her face and screamed loudly into it. After her lungs had expelled all they could, she tossed the pillow to the side and took a deep inhale and blow it out forcefully, before sitting up again. Glaring at her phone, she whined before picking it up and dialing Matthew’s number. She chewed her chapped, bottom lip as she listened to the line ring. He didn’t pick up. He must be filming. She had never been more excited to get a voice mail, but instead of leaving a message she hung up. This wasn’t the kind of thing you left in a voice mailbox, she thought, trying to excuse her avoidance. 

As she was about to lay back down, a thought occurred to her. It would be nice to have someone with her durning her detox to help keep her strong. Sure, she had Benny, but he was at work durning the day and didn’t truly understand what detox felt like. Picking up her phone once more, Y/n dialed another number she new by heart. It took two rings and she smiled at the sound of his voice. 

“Hey Zig! How have you been?”

*****

Y/n had been in the bathroom soaking in the tub, since Benny had gotten home from work. She said she was achy and cold and just wanted to soak her body. She didn’t mention that anyone was coming over, so when there was a knock on the door, Benny was confused as to who it could be. People didn’t knock on his door often. 

Pausing his game, Benny got up off the couch with a groan and made his way to the door and opened it. On the other side, was one of the most gorgeous men he had even seen. He had always been attracted to both men and women, typically leaning more towards women, but whoever this was had definitely caught his eye.

He was tall and thin with long dark hair and the sexiest green eyes he had ever seen. Realizing that he was staring, Benny cleared his throat and asked, “C-can I help you?” 

Ziggy gave him a slow knowing smile and raised his brow and said, “My… I should have known Y/n would have a sibling just scrumptious as she is.” He then slipped past Benny into the apartment and looked around, “so… where is the beautiful mother- to- be, anyways?”

Benny still couldn’t get his brain to work and stood there stupidly stumbling over is words, causing the other man to chuckle and blush. He actually blushed. “Let’s start with, hi I’m Ziggy! I’m your sister’s best sobriety buddy, though clearly, I suck at my job. I’m gunna go on a limb and assume you’re her beautiful baby bother, Benny.” Ziggy then laughed and said, “say that five times fast: beautiful baby brother Benny. Woo, that’s a mouth full.”

Watching the other man ramble and seemingly becoming more nervous as he talked, a charmed smile grew across Benny’s face and he chuckled. Ziggy nervously chuckled as well, and said, “so… Y/n?”

“Oh… yeah… Umm, bathtub. Something about chills and body aches.”

“Aw, yes. She has reached the shittiest part of detox. Where’s the bathroom?”

Benny looked confused for a moment, then pointed to the bathroom door. Ziggy loudly clapped his hands together and exclaimed, “excellent,” cause Benny to jump in surprise. He then watched as his sister’s did an exaggerated about face and headed to the door, where he paused, took a deep breath and swung the door open.

Marching into the room, Ziggy loudly said, “Come on bitch, out of the tub. I didn’t drive my fantastic ass, from five hours away, so your skinny, knocked-up ass could soak in some bubbles. You’re going to get out, get dressed and we gunna walk off that detox.” 

Y/n shrieked when the door flew open and frantically tried to shut the curtain to maintain some of her modesty. “Jesus Ziggy! You gave me a fucking heart attack! Shit!” She could hear him chuckling from the other side of the curtain.

“That was the point, sweetheart. Now come on, I got your towel and my eyes are closed.”

Carefully standing, Y/n unplugged the tub and pulled open the shower curtain. She grabbed her towel from Ziggy and wrapped it around her body, “ok, I’m covered. Help me step out?” 

“Sure thing, but first… you didn’t tell me your bother was such a muscly yummy snack. He got the whole beefy rocker boy look going got him. And he is so tall. He clearly got all the height genes.”

Smiling and rolling her eyes, she took Ziggy’s hand and stepped out of the tub. “Clearly… also you do know you’re almost old enough to be his dad, right?”

Ziggy bit his lip and gave her a scandalous smile, and said, “I’ve never been a daddy before. Oh, you know, I think that could be fun. Plus, he didn’t seem to mind. There was a definite moment shared.”

“Ugh, whatever. I just don’t want to hear you and my little brother doing… things. Oh my god, that would be traumatizing. Though, good pay back from the time he overheard Matthew and I having phone sex.”

“Oh, I bet that was hot!”

Y/n just laughed and said, “I can assure you; Benny did not agree. I’ve really missed you!” She said, pulling her friend into a tight hug. 

“I’ve really missed you, too. I’ve been really worried about you,” he said sincerely, returning her embrace. “Come on, let’s get you dressed and we will go out. Find somewhere to get you something to eat. Maybe find a group to go to. That sound good to you?”

“That actually sounds wonderful and just what I need. Thank you again for dropping everything and come all this way.”

“For you, I would do anything. Also, it’s not like I had much to drop,” he said, with a overly charming smile and wink.

“You’re so weird.”

“So are you, dove. I reckon its way we get on well.”

They smiled at each other and headed out of the bathroom. When they entered the living room, Benny was sitting on the couch playing video game again, but paused it and asked with an amused smile, “so, is that how you two always greet each other or was this a special occasion.”

“Oh, no. I always try to surprise her in her most vulnerable state. Keeps her on her toes,” Ziggy said, seriously. 

Y/n laughed and said, “Shut up Zig. No, he was just being a dick, because it the only thing he is good at. I’ll be back in a minute.” 

“Really? I’m wounded… wait, no I’m not. Well, you know what they say, you are what you eat.”

“Jesus, Ziggy!” Y/n said, laughing as she rolled her eyes and disappeared into her room.

Benny was just sitting there staring at Ziggy with a shocked look, who wiggled his eyebrows, in response. He then walked over to the couch, plopped down dangerously close to Benny, causing the younger man to laugh nervously.

“So, what are we playing?”

“Umm… it’s a fighting game, Dead or Alive. It’s really fun… have you ever played,” Benny asked, leaning forward and grabbing another controller.

Ziggy smiled and said, “Nah, can’t say that I have, but I’ll give it a try. Never really played many video games so I’ll probably be horrible. So, be gentle with me… I’m very delicate.”

Benny licked his lips and looked Ziggy up and down. “Can’t make any promises. I’m probably going to kick your ass.”

Ziggy just laughed as the character selection popped up. “Oh, wow! There are so many boobs.”

Benny burst out laughing, “yeah, the game is kinda known of it.”

*****

When Y/n exited her room, all she could hear was Ziggy and her brother laughing and bantering as they virtually fought each other.

“Omg, how are you doing that! There is no way you’ve never played before!”

“I’m just mashing random buttons, mate! You must really suck at this,” Ziggy said excitedly, as he laughed when the announcer declared K. O.

Benny groaned in frustration, but then laughed along with Ziggy. 

“Good to see you boys are getting along.” Both men jumped in surprise, as they were lost in their own little world.

“You ready to go,” Ziggy asked, still lightly chuckling.

“Yeah, just got to get my jacket and shoes on.”

“What do you guys got planned,” asked Benny.

“Not much, I’m gunna feed your sister and then we are gunna find a local meeting to crash. I also thought we could drive through and look at casino lights. I’ve never seen them in person, and I think it would be fun.”

“Oh cool, well have fun. I’ll probably be asleep when you get home, but see y’all tomorrow.”

Ziggy smiled at Benny and handed him his controller and quietly said, “I’ll look forward to that,” then placed his hand above the other man’s knee and gave it a light squeeze, before standing up and meeting Y/n at the door.

“Bye, Benny I’ll see you tomorrow,” Y/n said, before slipping out the door. Ziggy just smirked at Benny, with a wink and shut the door behind him.

Benny smiled to himself, as he turned off his game and the tv. “Oh man, I’m in trouble, but I’m gunna have some great dreams tonight.” He then turned off all the lights, locked the door and headed to bed.

*****

“So, have you made an appointment with a doctor yet,” Ziggy asked, before taking a sip of his coffee.

“Mmm, I don’t really have a doctor yet, but I did find this woman’s health clinic that has nurse practitioners that will do the first check up and ultrasound. They also have a program that gives medications to help lesson detox symptoms so it doesn’t stress the baby as much. My appointment is tomorrow… I was actually, gunna ask you if you would come with me? If that’s too weird for you though, that’s fine. I’ll understand,” Y/n said nervously, as she popped a fry in her mouth. 

Ziggy smiled at her and said, “No, it’s not weird at all. I’d love to go. Though, I’m kinda surprised you haven’t called Matthew and told him. I’m pretty sure he would love to be there with you. He is really worried about you, you know.”

Y/n just quietly played with her food in front of her. 

Ziggy frowned at her silence, and asked, “you are going to tell him, right?”

Y/n sighed, and said, “yeah, it’s just… I don’t know. I mean I tried calling him today, but he didn’t answer. Have…. have you talked to him?”

“Not in the last couple of days, but he has called me once or twice trying to figure out if I knew where you were. Which I didn’t until today.”

“You can’t tell him. You know that right. I’m just not ready. I- I can’t deal with it all right now. I just think I need to get past detox and get myself in good health for the baby. He already has one baby and baby mamma to worry about and I don’t think is fair to dump more in his lap. Honestly, just talking about it is making me feel nauseous, can we just change the subject?”

“Wait, you do know that Viv-.”

“Ziggy! Subject change. Please.”

“But, yo-,”

Y/n huffed and stood from the table. Pulling out her wallet she took out some money and dropped it on the table. “I’m going to the bathroom. We can find a meeting after I get back,” she said, before turning and waking away from the table, leaving behind, a bewildered Ziggy.

*****

They had found a meeting at a local community center near by. It had been just what Y/n needed. She met a lot of nice and caring people there. After opening up about what had happened and about her current situation everyone was very supportive and encouraging. It gave Y/n strength and hope for the not only her detox process, but the future, as well.

Ziggy had only shared a small portion of his story, as he was there more for support. But he did agree the it was a great group with wonderful people. He really thought she would benefit going to several meetings a week, then maybe down to one a week when she felt stable enough.

As they walked to the car, after the meeting, Ziggy cautiously broached the earlier conversation. “So… don’t get mad, I just have one question. Are you his secret silent caller?”

Y/n sighed, as her eye nervously shifted to the side to glance at him. “Uh… maybe. Before, I would call because I was drunk and just wanted to hear his voice or I wanted to tell him that I miss him, but I always chicken out and just hang up. He will usually just text me, but I never answer because, by then I’m just too anxious.”

Ziggy didn’t say anything as he unlocked the car and the slipped into the front seats, but once the doors were shut, he reached over and took Y/n hand and turned to face her. “All I’m saying is, the man is a wreck. I consider you both my friends and I think you should just at least google what’s going on in his life. He has a right to know.” Ziggy then let go of her and rested it on her stomach and said, “this would make him the happiest man alive and I feel bad that I’m gunna be there for the first peek and not him. It’s not too late to call him. You think I dropped things fast to get here, he would probably jump on a plane and be outside your door in an hour.”

Y/n covered his hand and squeezed it before letting her had drop to her lap. She gave him a tight, sad smile and said, “I’ll think about it. I promise.” Even though she knew it was a lie.

Ziggy returned the same sad smile and pulled his hand away from her still, flat stomach. He sighed as he started the car, knowing good and well she was lying.

******

The next morning, Ziggy was awoken by Y/n frantically jumping from the bed and running out the room. He was confused as to what was wrong, so he quickly got up and followed her, only to find her in the bathroom hunched of the toilet. 

“Oh, sweetie,” he said sympathetically, as he held her hair back and rubbed her back. When she was done, she sat back on her heels and whined, “How long is this going to last, because I’m over it already. I literally, almost threw up in the bed.”

“I might be have to start sleeping on the couch… or in Benny’s room,” Ziggy joked, trying to lighten then situation.

Y/n laughed pitifully and groaned as she stood up with Ziggy’s help. Walking over to the sink to brush her teeth she said, “sorry I woke you up. You can go back to bed if you want. My appointment isn’t until eleven.”

“No, I’m up now. I’ll probably just get something to eat and have some coffee.”

Y/n groaned as she brushed and said around her tooth brush, “please don’t talk to me about food.”

Ziggy chuckled and apologized, “sorry, I’ll just let you do what you need to do. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

Y/n just nodded her head in response and spit into the sink and rinsed her mouth.

As Ziggy entered the kitchen, he found Benny leaning against the counter, dressed for work and flipping through his phone, as he drank his coffee.

“Is she ok,” Benny asked, without looking up from his phone.

“Oh yeah, just a little morning sickness. It will pass. So… what do you do for work? Judging from your work cloths I’d say construction, but higher up. Definitely not a grunt worker.”

Benny chuckled, as he slipped his phone into his pocket and took in the other man’s bare chest and bed head. How is he so fucking attractive? “I’m a construction manager. So, I like run the projects and do the planning. Things like that.”

“Wait, how old are you again? How is that even possible?”

Benny laughed and said, “I’m nineteen, almost twenty. I graduated early and worked construction while I was in college. I did mostly night classes and online courses, but I got it done.”

“How old were you when you graduated,” Ziggy asked, as he poured a cup of coffee.

“Sixteen.”

“Oh wow, so you got the height genes and the smart genes… not that Y/n isn’t smart. She just doesn’t…apply it well.”

Benny laughed, “you’re not wrong there. She got all spontaneity and creativity genes. I’m pretty predictably boring and can barely draw a stick figure.”

“Well, running with your sister has made me appreciate predictably, boring. Doesn’t sound so bad to me,” Ziggy said, smiling with a blush.

Benny ducked his head, and smiled, before asking, “so what do you do of work?”

Ziggy just chuckled and said, “well… I kinda don’t. I mean have a part time job a nursery, plants not kids, but it’s more to pass the time then to survive. My grandfather use to be one of the great Hollywood producers back in the day. So, I guess you could call me a trust fund baby or an heir. Even though I no longer have any connection to my family. I’m a little too gay for their conservative ways of life.”

“Oh wow… so you’re what? Independently wealthy?”

“Oh no, I wouldn’t say wealthy, maybe comfortable. I’m surprisingly good with money investment so I know how to make it last,” Ziggy explained, taking a sip from his cup.

“So why plants?”

Ziggy just smiled for a moment and then said, “because I’m good at it and it gives me peace. When I first got clean, one of my favorite activities at the facility I was staying, was to work in the garden. When I went home, I missed it and I live in an apartment with no where to garden. So, I found a nursery and applied for a job.

Benny nodded his head, as he finished his coffee and looked at his watch, humming in disappointment, “sadly, I have to start heading out, but we should all order in tonight.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a great plan. What kinda things do you like order in? We can have it here when you get home.”

Benny, feeling bold and pretty confident in the sparks flying between him and the other man, he walked closer to him, letting his eyes travel up and down Ziggy’s slim frame. He then locked his blue eyes with Ziggy’s green and smiled. 

“To be honest, what I’m hungry for isn’t on a menu… it’s standing right here,” Benny said, pushing a stray curl from Ziggy’s forehead, before leaning in placing a soft kiss on the other man’s lips.

It took a moment for Ziggy to respond, but when he did, he cupped the back of Benny’s head and deepened the kiss. When they pulled away, they were both breathing heavily with goofy smiles plastered on their faces. 

“That was... wow,” Benny said, still trying to pull himself together.

“It really was. We are definitely going to have to do that again.”

“Yeah, like tonight. After my sis goes to bed.”

Ziggy, swallowed and licked his lips in anticipation. “I would really like that.”

Benny brushed Ziggy’s hair back once more before stepping back and saying goodbye. Ziggy was left behind, standing in stock, by what had just played out.

“What’s the funny smile about,” Y/n asked, as she shuffled into the kitchen and headed to the pantry for saltines. 

“Umm, your brother just kissed me.”

“Wait, he what,” she asked, sticking her head out the food closet.

“He kissed me goodbye and pretty much said we would continue after you went to bed tonight. I’m not gunna lie, I thought I would have to be the one to take the lead, but he pretty much just swept me off my feet. I- I think I might be in love with your brother.”

Y/n just chuckled and rolled her eyes and said, “just don’t hurt my little brother. He is more of a relationship kind of person and not about the hook up lifestyle. I’m also pretty sure he has only dated one other guy, so all I’m asking is that you be honest about what you want.”

“Damn, I’m kinda insulted. What makes you think I’m not a relationship person? When have you ever seen me do the hook up thing? I’ve literally been single since getting sober.”

“Oh god, no! That’s not what I meant. Zig, I’m sorry. All I’m saying is, I don’t want to lose my best friend over a weekend fling between him and by brother.”

“Don’t worry about it. I knew you didn’t mean anything by it. I was just fucking with you,” Ziggy said laughing. Y/n clicked her tongue in annoyance and swapped at him, but he dodged her and said, “hey if this works out, I could end up being your brother- in- law.”

“Oh, gawd.” 

Ziggy just laughed at her, while he slipped from the room to get ready for the day.

******

Matthew was getting tired of pretending he was ok. He no longer could keep up the façade by plastering on a fake smile between shoots. So, instead of hanging out with his friends like usual, he now opted to go to his trailer and wallow in his misery alone. He just missed Y/n so much. It actually, physically hurt, like a part of his soul has been ripped from his chest and taken far far out of his reach.

With a sigh, he laid down across the trailer’s couch and pull out his phone. He thought about calling the mystery number, but he knew she wouldn’t answer. He just knew, deep down in his gut, it was her. 

Instead, he went back to there old messages and found the picture Ziggy had taken of them sleeping on the couch. He started at it for a long time, zooming in on her sleeping face and tracing its shape with his finger. He knew he was just torturing himself, but he couldn’t care less.

As he started to scroll deeper into their messages, he came a video clip, along with several pictures, she had sent him the day he filmed the pool scene. Most of the pictures were of her and Benny swimming and having a good time. But then there were pictures of just her, naked and spread out on a bed. He couldn’t help his bodies reaction to the images, despite the bittersweet memories of that day. 

Their morning together and their FaceTime interaction was mind blowing. He had so much hope only for it to be ripped to shreds in just minutes. He’d like to blame Vivian, but he knew it was his fault that time. 

As his finger hovered over the clip’s play button, he tried to push it all to the back of his mind. When the video began, Matthew practically sobbed with how beautiful she was, starring back at him, flushed and naked, seductively biting the tip of her finger. Just as the first time seeing the video, the need to alleviate the pressure he felt within his pants became too great, and he moved his hand down to undo his belt and fly.  
He did not release himself however, choosing to only palm his erection through the fabric, for now. As he watched her, his eyes filled with tears and it was almost too painful to look any longer. So, he let his eyes slide shut and listened to her talk about how she couldn’t stop thinking about him and how she was jealous of the scene he had been filming. 

When he heard her starting to moan and gasp, he couldn’t help but open his eyes and watch as her face contorted in pleasure, as she began to masturbate off frame. He couldn’t help it any longer. He reached into his slacks, slipping his hand beneath his boxers, and began to pump his hand up and down his dick.

There wasn’t much left to the clip, just her wishing he was with her so she could see his face, which was exactly how he had been feeling every day since she left. As the video ended, he hit replay and did so until he reached completion. Afterwards, he rolled to his side and buried his face in the back or the couch and cried.

Once, he had finally calmed down, Matthew stood and, as though he was on autopilot, he walked to the restroom and cleaned himself off. When he returned to the couch, he picked up his phone and sent out a text to the mysterious number. It didn’t take long, only a couple of seconds, before a read time stamp popped up. If it was her, she had at least seen his message, but he knew not to expect a reply back. He then found Ziggy’s contact and hit call. Maybe he would want to hang out tonight. He somehow felt closer to Y/n when their friend was around. 

******

Y/n was sitting in the waiting room next to Ziggy when her phone chimed. Pulling it out, she released a ragged breath and swollen back her anxiety at the sight of Matthew’s name. Opening up the text, she quickly read it.

Matthew 📱: I miss you so much, baby! Please! Please talk to me. I need to see your face. I need to hold you in my arms. I feel like I’m dying. Y/n, please!!!

Y/n fingers hovered over the keyboard a moment, before she lost her nerve and slipped her phone back in her pocket with a sigh.

“Who was that?”

“No one, don’t worry about it,” Y/n said, bouncing her knee with agitation. She was upset, with herself and her own cowardice.

“No body… you mean-,” Ziggy was cut off by his phone ringing. He chuckled when he saw who it was. “No body as in Matthew,” he asked showing her his phone.

Y/n eyes grew wide with panic and she quickly began to beg, “No, don’t tell him. Don’t answ-,” she stopped talking and covered her mouth, as her friend answered his phone. She looked at him pleadingly, in which he just rolled his eyes and mouthed for her to calm down.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Ziggy sat quietly while he listened to Matthew on the other side of the line.

“Yeah, I would, but I’m not even in town. I’m in… Colorado with some family. I’ll be back next week though.” Y/n watched as Ziggy once again listen to Matthew. She couldn’t help notice how his face looked sad and sympathetic. When he gave her a sideway glance, she looked away, feeling shameful and guilty.

“I know man, I’m sorry. Just give her time. I’m sure she will come around. She is probably just trying to figure things out…. Yeah, I told you, she is fine. Last I heard, she wasn’t even drinking…. No there is no one else. She still loves you; I promise…. Dude, take a breath, you’re working yourself up… that’s right, deep breath. You ok?”

Y/n couldn’t handle, what sounded like Matthew coming unglued, on the other side of Ziggy’s call, so she hoped up and hurried to the restroom. Once she had locked herself behind a stall door, she began to cry. Several minutes had pasted, when she heard her phone chime again. Sniffling, she wiped at her face and pull out her phone.

Matthew 📱: I’m sorry… I know I’m probably bothering you, but I just wanted to let you know I’ll be at my mom’s this weekend. So… if you decide you want to see me, you know where to find me.

This time she was about to type a response. When she got a second text, this time from Ziggy. 

Ziggster📱: hey they are calling your name!

“Oh, shit,” she said, out loud as she quickly ran out of the stall, out the bathroom, and into the waiting room. Ziggy was waiting outside the door and said, “here she is!”

Y/n smiled and gave the nurse an awkward little wave, before being led back into the exam room. There they got her weight, temperature, and blood pressure, before asking her health questions and informing her someone would be in shortly to collect blood and urine samples. Ziggy and herself waited in an uncomfortable silence, before she finally asked, “is he ok?”

Ziggy just gave her an annoyed look and said, “Do you really care? Because if you ask me, you’re being really selfish. He loves you with everything he has. Most people never find that. The one person they are meant to be with. Because that’s what you two are… you do know that right?”

“Of course, I care. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t. I’m not being selfish; I’m trying to protect him. So, if anything I’m being selfless. Do you think I don’t want him here right now? That I don’t want to wake up next to him every morning? Because I do. More than anything in the world. But all I’ve ever done since re-entering his life, is make it more complicated.”

“Have you even googled what was going on, like I told you to?”

“No… I-,” Y/n was cut off by a knock and the door opening. After her blood was drawn, they sent her to the bathroom with a cup and when she returned, they took her samples and gave her a gown to change into and told her to get comfortable on the table. That an ultrasound technician would be in shortly. Once again, Ziggy and herself sat quietly in the tension filled room.

It wasn’t until the technician enter the room, rolling the ultrasound machine with her, did the tension begin to melt. Ziggy stood and walked over to the table and took Y/n’s visibly shaking hand. 

“Congratulations, mom and dad! The tests came back positive!”

Ziggy held up his free hand and corrected, “oh, no… not dad! Just very gay, best friend. Here for the support.”

The tech just laughed and said, “well congratulations mom and supportive friend.”

Y/n gave the older woman a nervous smile and thanked her. 

“So, you are still very early in your pregnancy, which means we will need to do a vaginal ultrasound. If I could just get you to put your feet in the stirrups, and scoot your bum down a little, we will begin.”

Y/n swallowed nervously, but nodded her head and did as instructed, letting out a shaky breath when complete.

“It’s going to be ok, sweet girl,” Ziggy said quietly, squeezing his friend’s hand reassuringly.

The tech just smiled at him and then to Y/n said, “this may be a little cold,” before squeezing lubricant onto a wand and inserting it into her body. It didn’t take long for the room to be filled with the quick and steady heart beat of Matthew and her’s baby. The technician turned the screen and pointed to a little   
Kidney bean blob in the very center of the monitor. 

“Is that my baby,” Y/n asked, as she protectively covered her abdomen with her hand. Tears were streaming down her face and she stared in amazement at the little life growing inside her. 

“That so amazing,” she heard Ziggy whisper at her side. She took a moment to glance at him and notice he too, had wet eyes. Though he himself wasn’t crying. She then glanced back at the screen and asked, “is there a way I can get pictures?”

“Oh, yes of course! We also burn a recording of you first ultrasound onto a disc so you can actually watch it.” Y/n gave the other woman, her first genuine smile of the day, and thanked her. 

When the exam was over, the nurse practitioner came in and talked to her about her addiction and prescribed some medications to help with her detox, along with some prenatal vitamins. They also, set the next appointment for two weeks out so that her due date could be set. As they left, she was instructed to stop at the front desk to collect a first- time pregnancy care package the clinic gives first time moms. 

Once they were in Ziggy’s car, he turned to her and said, “I’m sorry about earlier. I know this is hard on you and that there is a lot on your plate right now. That was unfair of me. But I really do think telling Matthew is the best decision you could make right now.”

“I just have to work up the nerve. I am going to tell him. I want our baby to know him, to be able to recognize his voice when it is born. I want to be a family. I just don’t want to make his life harder.”

“You won’t… trust me. Just don’t wait too long. He had already missed to much. That should have been him in there today… not me.”

Y/n bite her lip and quietly looked out the window as they pulled out of the clinic. She knew Ziggy was right, but it was too late for that now.

*****

As the week passed, Y/n was surprised by how well the medication had helped her detox. Even more shocking to her, was her complete lack of interest in the idea of drinking alcohol. It was like ever since she heard her baby’s heart beat, her perspective on the need to drink completely shifted. No longer did she feel like it was a necessity for getting through the day to day pain. All she knew was, she needed to focus on her baby and keep it safe. Non the less, Ziggy still accompanied her to a couple more meetings. 

When he left that weekend, she was sad to see him go, but not as much as Benny. Their goodbye had taken forever. In that short week her friend had visited, he had become completely smitten with her brother and vice versa. He had actually started sleeping in his room the second night. She guessed they were dating now and there were several promises for future visits. 

She did have to say though, watching them cuddled up on the couch definitely made her miss Matthew more. He had texted her a couple more times. She suspected that Ziggy had confirmed that the mystery number was in fact hers, but when she asked him, he had refused to answer her and just change the subject. Either way, with every text she received from Matthew, the more tempt she was to respond. 

The night Ziggy left, as she readied herself for bed, her phone dinged on her night stand. She had ignored it at first, assuming it was just her friend letting her know he had returned home safely, but as she was about to slip into bed it binged again. Picking up her phone, she unlocked it and saw two messages from Matthew.

Matthew 📱: I’m at my mom’s. 

Matthew 📱: I can’t stop thinking about you. Miss your face and the smell of your hair. I starting to forget the sound of your laugh. Please come see me… I need to see you, Y/n. Please!

She chewed her lip as sh reread his texts. Should she go? No… she wasn’t ready for that, but maybe she could at least message him back. Just to work up to seeing him. Taking a deep breath, she began to type.

*****

While Matthew always hoped to get a response from Y/n, he never really expected it. So, when three little bullets popped up, indicating that something was being typed, he held his breath in anticipation. All he knew was, it had to be her because it was taking forever. Whatever was being written was being given a lot of thought. Every once in a while, the bullets would disappear and his heart would sink a little, but then they would appear again. He could help but smile to himself, as he pictured her typing something out, then cursing as she decided she didn’t like it and deleting it and starting over.

When the bullet disappeared again and didn’t start up again, his smile slowly faded. After a moment, he excepted she had changed her mind and closed his eyes with a sigh. He was trying to will away his tears when his phone pinged.

His eyes popped open and he quickly grabbed his phone and read.

MyGirl📱: hey… I just wanted to say that I can’t come see you. I’m not ready for that, but I wanted you to know that I miss you, too. That I love you. I’m sorry I can’t give you more. You’re always on my mind. I close my eyes every night and I see your smile. It will be okay, I promise!

It wasn’t what he was hoping for, but it gave him hope. She responded which is the most he had gotten from her in the last two months. 

Matthew 📱: where are you? You’re in Vegas, right? Can I call you? I want to hear your voice.

He hit send and he waited, but to his disappointment she never responded. So, he gave it one more try, before excepting she said all she would say.

Matthew 📱: Y/n… Baby?

After several more minutes, his shoulders sagged as he sighed. While he was disappointed, he wouldn’t let it envelope him. She had spoken to him. She heard him and responded. And most of all she said she still loved him and that filled him with joy. Slipping his phone into his pocket, he rejoined his family as they sat around the table with drinks and cards.

*****

A month had pasted and Y/n had received her due date and the baby was growing quickly. All signs said their bean was healthy and happy. The morning sickness was starting to get better, as she approached her second trimester, which she was thankful for.

It was the week of Christmas and Ziggy had chosen to spend it with Benny and herself. They were totally head over heals for each other and it didn’t take much for Ziggy to make his way to Vegas. She was actually really happy for them and they really seem to compliment each other. She didn’t even notice the age gap at this point. The only thing that bothered her was how they would gang up on her about Matthew. Ziggy just wanted both his friends to be happy, while Benny want her to be happy and to start the family, he knew she wanted. 

As for Matthew, he still texted her often, if not every other day. She on occasion would send and I love you or I miss you his way. He would also tell her about the episodes he was being allowed to direct or the signing to the second chipmunk movie. She would always congratulate him and tell him that she was happy for him.

It was the late- night texts that where the hardest, though. She could feel his depression and loneliness through his texts. He would beg for her to talk on the phone. Tell her how beautiful she was and how he missed her smile and the sound of her laugh. She once, in a moment of weakness, responded how she also missed the way he was always able to make her laugh and how goofy he could be. 

The most difficult part though, was when he would talk about how badly he wanted her and how he missed they way her body felt against his. She had just been so horny lately. She knew it came with the pregnancy, but she had made the mistake of confiding that she also felt the same way. That she missed how he always knew how to pleasure her body. 

He had taken her confession as a green light to start talking about what he would do to her if they were together. How he would give up everything just to be able to taste her again and how, if given the chance, he would send an entire evening with his face between her things. He would go into detail about how he would make her cum until her whole body would quiver and her legs would fail her for days. She made a point not to respond to any of it, but would find herself urged to masturbate as she read of all the things, he wished he could do to her body. The thought the he was more than likely doing the same as he conveyed his needs, only seemed to turn her on more.

Afterwards, he would disappear, only to reappear days later he to profusely apologize for his behavior. He thought he had upset her because she didn’t respond. She had assured him that he was fine and that she wasn’t made, but he once again disappeared.

It wasn’t until the day before Christmas Eve that she heard from him again. 

Matthew 📱: I’m at my mom’s for Christmas. I was hoping you would grace me with your beautiful presence, as my present. Seriously though…please. It’s been too long.

Y/n sat on the couch next to Ziggy and Benny, while they played their game, and stared at Matthew’s text. She was seriously contemplating his request. It would be nice to spend the holidays with him. But the more she thought about it, the higher her anxiety built. So, she decided to, once again ignore his request. However, when she was about to put her phone away, it dinged again. 

Matthew 📱: If you’re unwilling to come see me then can you send me a picture. Something recent. I miss your smile, baby.

Reading his text made her smile and she got an idea. She quickly sent him a text, before jumping up and heading to her room to change. She then applied some light makeup and braided her hair to the side. Walking back to the living room she found that her brother had Ziggy pinned to the couch and they were making out heatedly. 

Rolling her eyes, she cleared her throat to get the boy’s attention. “Excuse me! Benny! Ziggy!” They both popped up quickly and gave her matching innocent smiles. Like they weren’t little boys caught with their hands in a cook jar. “I’m sorry to interrupt kissy- face time, but I was wondering if one of you could help me run a couple of errands?”

“Umm... yeah, we can go for a drive.” Both men raised off the couch and they all got their coats and shoes on and headed out. First, she requested to stop at a CVS where she quickly ran in and purchased a cheap disposable camera. There next stop was to Matthew and her’s old middle school.

“Why are we at a middle school,” Ziggy asked, completely confused. 

“We are here for a tree.”

“A tree,” Benny asked, giving his boyfriend the same confused expression. 

They walked towards the baseball field, Y/n snapped random pictures and several of the boys, trying to kill the roll. Once they got to the tree, Y/n went around the back and ran her fingers across the faded carving.

“Benny, do you have your pocket knife?”

“Yeah, why,” he asked, moving around the tree, as he pulled out his knife.

“Our initials are starting to fade. I want to touch them up.” Benny just smiled at her and handed her his pocket knife.

“This is THE tree. I forgot about it. This is the one you two use to sit under.”

Y/n just smiled at him from over her shoulder. “This is where it all started.”

When she was done, she blew on her work and rubbed at it with her hand and stepped back. Folding the knife, she handed it back to her brother. She then turned and hand them the camera and asked, “how do I look? He asked for a picture and I want it to be perfect.”

“Beautiful.” “Gorgeous.” The boy’s said simultaneously. Y/n just smiled brightly.

“Ok try to get me and the carving in the picture. There should be five left.”

She stood next to the tree and smiled like she would, if he was standing in front of her. When they were done, she took back the camera, turned and kissed her fingertips, before pressing them to their initials.

Afterwards, they headed back to the car and back to the CVS, where she developed the pictures, bought a frame, and a holiday gift bag. When she got back to the car, she flipped threw the photos, selected the best one, and placed it in the frame. She then fixed up the gift bag and asked to be driven to Matthew’s mother’s home. 

When they got near, she asked Benny to pass by the house so they were not parked in front of the living room window. She then slipped out and scurried up to the porch and gently place the bag on the stoop, leaning against the wall. Quickly, she turned and hurried back to the car and told Benny to get them out of there. Her brother just rolled his eyes, but turned the car around and headed back home. While they drove away Y/n sent Matthew a text.

*****

When he asked her to come see him for Christmas, Matthew knew she wouldn’t say anything. That she would read his message and then pretend it didn’t exist. But he kept asking in hope that she would someday agree.

So, when it became clear she would not be joining him for the holidays, he asked her to at least gift him with a picture of herself. He wanted to see her face to be sure she was well. He was also truthful when he said he missed her smile. He wasn’t sure she would even comply to sending him a selfie, but when she texted back a smile spread across his lips.

MyGirl📱: I think I can do that. Just be patient. ❤️

So he was. He wasn’t sure why it was taking her so long, but he was just happy she agreed to send him one, at all. So, he went along with his day. 

He helped his mom do early cooking in the kitchen and they all decorated the tree while listening to Christmas music. Every once in a while, he would check his phone just in case he didn’t hear it go off, but every time he found himself disappointed. 

By time four hours had past, he had given up hope. It was actually dark outside and his family was sitting around the fire, drinking spiked eggnog and talking. He however, was uncharacteristically quiet.

Taking notice, his mother asked, “Honey, are you ok? You haven’t said much since dinner.

“Umm, yeah no, I’m good. Just tired, I guess. Hey, would it be ok if I-,” he was about to excuse himself for the evening, when his phone interrupted him. A huge smile broke out on his face as he excitedly pulled out his phone. 

MyGirl📱: check the front porch. 😉❤️

Hoping she had come to see him after all, he practically hurtled over his mother’s coffee table, dashed out the room and swung open the front door.

“Matthew! What in the world. Where are you going,” asked his mom, as he happily bolted from the room.

“Y/n,” he called out, excitedly, as the door opened, but his shoulders sagged as he was greeted with an empty doorstep. Looking up and down the street, all he saw was a pair of tail lights, disappearing into the dark. Did she lose her nerve? He then looked down, and propped against the wall was a Christmas gift bag. Looking up again, he looked around once more, before picking up the bag and heading back inside. 

“What’s that,” his sister asked him.

“Y/n left it on the front porch. I thought she was here, but I think she was driving away when I got to the door,” he said, sitting back down on the couch. He started to slowly pull the paper from the bag and looked inside to find a framed picture. Pulling it out, he gasped shakily. 

She was more beautiful then he remembered. Her face was healthy and full with an indescribable glow to it. She smiled for the camera in a way she usually only smiled for him. Her face was flushed, probably from the cold, it just made her all the more gorgeous. Her hair had grown so long and was braided over her shoulder. She definitely looked like she had put on some weight, but it looked good on her. 

He was so busy soaking in every little detail of the woman he loved, that it took him a minute to realized were the picture was taken. When he finally noticed the tree with their initials in the background, he chuckled to himself. That woman was amazing. He loved her so much and he missed her just as much, if not more.

“Can I see the picture,” his mom asked.

He smiled at her, before nodding and passing it to his mother. He then pulled out his phone and sent Y/n a text.

Matthew 📱: I got your gift. I love it! You’re so beautiful, you take my breath away. When did you take the picture?

It only took a couple moments for her to respond.

MyGirl📱: today… that’s why I said to be patient. 😁 I’m glad you like it. Mercy Christmas, Matthew! I love you.

Matthew 📱: wait, so you went to the tree today? Also, I more then like it. I cherish it. You just look so healthy. You’re glowing. I wish I had something to give you. Merry Christmas, Baby. I love you too. Forever and always.

MyGirl📱: don’t worry about a gift… you already gave me one. 

Matthew was confused by her response. He was about to ask what she meant when he heard his mother hum, still examining the picture with narrow eyes.

“Mom, what is it?”

“Oh… it’s nothing. She just had a certain glow about her, is all. She also, looked like she has put on quite a bit of weight. She must be taking some great vitamins too judging from her hair, skin, and nails.”

“She is glowing,” he agreed taking the framed picture back, “she looks amazing. She had started losing weight again, before she left. I think she looks good with a little weight on her… healthier. Honestly, I think this is the best I’ve ever seen her.”

His mother just smiled and knowing smile. She was pretty sure; she now knew why Y/n was avoiding her son. She would have to find a why to search her down and get her to come clean. 

*****

It had been two months since Matthew had told her he was in Vegas. He had been off in Canada, filming that serial killer movie he had mentioned a while back. Apparently, there had been some funding complications that delayed filming, but everything was back on track. He had told her he would be done by early March and planned to be in Vegas for his birthday.

At first, she had thought his silence was due to Vivian having their baby, but when she brought it up, both Ziggy and Benny practically yelled at her. They decided enough was enough made her google Vivian on her phone. What she read made her livid. 

“That bitch! How could she do that to him… to us! Who does shit like that? Psychopaths, that’s who,” she ranted as she paced the living room. Her brother and friend waited patiently for it to all connect. That this whole time, while she was stubbornly missing Matthew, she could have been with him and sharing the growth of their child with him, all along. 

When she suddenly stopped and looked at her phone again, they shared a look. When they heard a sob, a saw her shoulders begin to shake, they got up and enveloped her in a tight hug. 

“He has missed so much… it’s all my fault,” Y/n said, through her tears. “You both tried to tell me. I wouldn’t listen.”

“Yes, but honey, now you know. He will be coming for his birthday, soon,” Ziggy said, trying to be positive. 

“Yeah! Surprise him. He is always wanting you to go see him. So, do it this time,” Benny added.

Y/n bite her lip as she thought about what they suggested. Slowly, she started to nod her head in agreement. She wasn’t going to make Matthew miss another moment of their baby’s development. She just hoped he wouldn’t be too angry with her.

She was about four and a half months and would be right at 16 weeks when his birthday came around. At least, he wouldn’t miss the anatomy appointment, when they determined the baby’s sex.

*****

Matthew hadn’t even been at his moms for two hours, before the down pour started. It was supposed to rain for the next three days, but it was fine, Nevada needed the rain. 

He was sitting with his mom at the kitchen table, telling her about his latest roll and drinking some hot tea. She then started asking him all kinds of questions about Y/n. Some of them extremely personal. Like whether or not they had ever been intimate. He tried to slip around the question, but then she asked if he was cheating on Vivian with Y/n, like the paparazzi had reported. He just became quiet and averted his eyes. 

Sighing he explained, “She was my first… right before I started dating Vivian. We… it just kinda happened. But I guess I had been waiting for her. I’d never really been interested in anyone else. Even when I was with Vivian, I was only with her because Y/n wanted me to try and move on… which is stupid, because I can’t. Probably never will. Then she went to rehab and got sober. When she came back things… things between us changed. So yes, technically on paper, I did cheat on Vivian with Y/n, but it didn’t feel that way. I was planning on breaking up with Vivian, but she was out of town and I didn’t want to do it over the phone. Y/n and I tried to wait… we did, but things happened. Then when I was about to break up with her, Vivian told me she was pregnant. After that I felt like I couldn’t breakup with her, so I told Y/n that we couldn’t be together… You pretty much know the rest.”

His mother looked confused, “that was the last time you two where together?”

Matthew’s eyes widened, a little uncomfortable with his mom wanting to know the last time Y/n and he had slept together. “Umm… no. The night before she left. I didn’t think I was going to see her again.”

“So, you would say about five months?” Matthew just scowled in confusion.

“Yeah, I guess. Why?”

“Oh, no reason honey. You should text her. See if she will come over for your birthday dinner.”

“Yea, ok. I was planning on it, to be honest,” he said, pulling out his phone, but just as he did, it pinged and message from Y/n popped up.

Smiling he opened her text and quickly read it. It wasn’t often she texted him first and it made him unbelievably happy.

MyGirl📱: hey! I was wondering if you were still coming into town for your birthday?

Matthew 📱: yeah! I just got to Vegas today actually. I was just pulling out my phone to text you. I know you will probably say no, but I was wondering if you wanted to come to my mom’s tomorrow around 3pm for my birthday dinner?

MyGirl 📱: sure… I actually need to talk to you about something.

Matthew 📱: ok…. What?

MyGirl 📱: tomorrow 

Matthew📱: Ugh… really? Come on, don’t do that. What is it?

MyGirl📱: look, if you’re patient. I think it will be worth your while.

Matthew📱: like with the picture? 😁

MyGirl 📱: But better then a picture… or a least I hope you’ll think so

Matthew couldn’t help wonder if she was suggesting sex, but then why would they need to talk about it? She could just say birthday sex and being so secretive. He kinda wanted to ask if that was what his surprise would be, but didn’t want to upset her and make her change her mind. So, he kept it to himself and just reassured her that he would definitely like whatever it was 

Matthew 📱: I’m pretty sure I’ll think it’s the best. 😉😘

MyGirl 📱: I hope so…Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then. 3pm

Matthew 📱: saying I can’t wait, is an understatement. It will be my best birthday yet! I’m dying to just hold you!

“Matthew, can you go to the garage and get my spare crockpot out of the storage closet,” asked his mother, as she moved about the kitchen prepping for the next nights dinner.

Laying his phone face down on the table, Matthew said, “sure thing mom, I’ll be right back,” and he head out to the garage.

Marilyn waited until she heard her son close the garage door behind him, before sneaking over to his phone and quickly located Y/n’s number. Hitting the number down on a sticky note, she flipped her son’s phone back around the way she found it, she returned to her previous tasks.

“Where do you want me to put it?”

“Oh, just over there will be fine. Thank you, honey.”

“No, problem. I think I’m gunna go take my sketch book up stairs and doodle in the tub. I’ll talk to you later mom.” Matthew then kissed his mom on her cheek and headed upstairs.

Pulling out her phone, Marilyn sent her own text to Y/n.

****** 

Y/n was in her room trying to figure out what she should wear to Matthew’s birthday dinner tomorrow. She wanted it to be cute, but not too revealing since his family would be there. As she was digging through her closet her phone chimed from her bed and she smiled to herself. 

Assuming it was Matthew she opened the message without looking. But once it was open, she realized it definitely wasn’t.

Unknown📱: so how many months along are you?

Y/n📱: who is this?

Unknown📱: how rude of me! I’m sorry honey, this is Matthew’s mom, Marilyn. You are pregnant with his baby, right?

Y/n was in panic mode. How did his mom get her number? How did she know she was pregnant? Did Matthew know too? Running out of her room she ran into the kitchen where the guys where sitting at the table eating lunch. 

“Oh my god! What do I do? His mom just texted me and she knows!” Her phone dinged again and she screeched tossing it onto the table. “What do I do? What do I say!”

Ziggy picked up her phone and calmly read the texts while he took a bite of his sandwich. He chuckled and showed it to Benny, who chuffed in amusement.

“She wants to know if you’re still there,” Benny said.

Groaning dramatically, she snatched her phone from Ziggy and said, “neither of you are any help,” before stomping off. She could hear them both whispering and giggling to each other. “So annoying,” she yelled before slamming the door to her bedroom behind her. Sulking to her bed she plopped down and sent a reply text.

Y/n📱: yes, I’m here. I’m at 16 wks, right at five months. Yes, it’s Matthew’s. How do you know and does he know too?

Unknown 📱: I knew the moment I saw the photo you gave him. You had all the tell- tale signs of a women about to hit her second trimester. You had the glow; weight gain and your prenatal vitamins are doing wonders for you skin and nails. I know a pregnant woman when I see one, even if my son doesn’t. So no, he does not know. But he deserves to…

Y/n📱: You’re right. He does… and I plan to tell him tomorrow. I thought he was still with Vivian and the baby was his. I didn’t want to complicate things. I now know the truth. I didn’t want to tell him over the phone, so I was waiting until he came back into town.

Unknown📱: good. Be here by three tomorrow. Dinner is at five. He is going to be very happy to see you.

Y/n 📱: I’m really happy to see him too! I’ll be there!

*****

She meant it, when she said it. She had full intentions of going… yesterday. But the problem was that the closer it got to the time to get ready, the more nervous she became.   
Matthew’s continuous streams of texts weren’t helping.

He just kept going on about her beauty and how he couldn’t wait to see her. Then he would talk about what he would do to her when they were alone. 

It all left her wondering if he would feel the same way once he found out about the baby or once he had seen how her body was changing. Once he found out Vivian was pregnant, he could even get aroused by her anymore. And while, logically she knew it wasn’t because of the pregnancy itself, but the person who was pregnant, she couldn’t listen to reason.

She was also concerned he would be mad that she didn’t tell him right away. That in her stubbornness, she had forced him to miss out on the entire first trimester, including the very first ultrasound, when she heard the heartbeat. Could he or would he forgive her for her foolishness?

So as the day went on, she started to psych herself out and eventually she stopped responding to Matthew’s texts, all together. When she went together in the shower, she had a small breakdown and decided that she just couldn’t go. It was all too much and too late. So, she ended up locking herself in her room, and despite the boy’s best efforts, she would not come out.

She knew when three had passed, because Matthew had once again begun to text. She refused to look though. She knew she was breaking his heart, but she just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t tell him. She didn’t want to see the anger or disgust in his face when he learned the truth. So, Y/n buried her head beneath her pillow and drowned out the sound of Matthew’s texts. 

Eventually they stopped. When Y/n peaked out from under her pillow and looked at the alarm clock by her bed, she noticed it was almost 4:15. She should have been there over an hour ago. He had clearly accepted that she wasn’t coming. 

Turning towards the wall, Y/n curled in on herself and began to cry as she whispered an apology to her baby. “I’m so sorry little bean. I want you to know your daddy. I love him so much, but I’m worried he will change his mind and not want us. I can’t bring myself to seeing him look at me like that again. I’m so sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry….” As she sobbed, she continued to chant that single word of apology, as she rocked herself. She lost track of if it was for the baby or Matthew or both.

*****

She must have fallen asleep, because when she was awoken by her phone ringing, her room was shadowed by darkness. Looking out the window she noticed that the sun had set and the rain had picked up. Still half asleep, she reached out for her phone and answered it.

“Hello,” she croaked, with a sleep strained voice.

“This is enough! This will be the last time you break my son’s heart. It’s time for you to grow up. You about to be a mother!”

“Mrs. G?”

“You have 45 minutes to get here. You are going to tell my son about his child. If you don’t, I will.” His mother then hung up the phone, not giving her much time to respond.

“Fuck!” She really didn’t want him to find out that way. So, taking a deep breath she looked at the time and groaned. It was almost seven. His mother didn’t really give her much time to get ready. She pretty much just had time to throw on shoes and brush her teeth and hair. 

Sighing she slipped on her KEDs and rush out her room. Benny and Ziggy where cuddled up on the couch and when she passed by, she said, “I’m gunna need a ride. I don’t have much time, so get your shoes on,” then disappear into the bathroom.

When she saw herself in the mirror she groaned at her appearance. She was wearing an old torn- up, baggy sweatshirt and a pair of leggings. Her face and eyes wear all puffy from crying and she had pillow lines imbedded in her face. 

She was actually tempted to call his mom back and request more time to get ready, but the lady already sounded pretty pissed and she didn’t want to push her luck. So, with a whine, she quickly brushed her hair and teeth. She took a couple of seconds to spray herself with the perfume she knew Matthew loved and applied some lip gloss, then hurried out the bathroom. When she got to the front door the boys where already waiting for her. 

“What changed your mind,” Benny asked. 

“Mrs. G called me. Pretty much told me to pull me head from my ass and grow up. If I’m not there by 7:45 she is going to tell him herself. So, we got to go.”

“It’s storming pretty bad, I hope we can get there in time,” Ziggy said, looking up at the sky, as they hurried to the car.

“We will make it! We have to!”

*****

Matthew had been excited all day. It was supposed to be the best birthday yet. He was supposed to finally have the love of his life, his fucking soul mate, back in his life, but she never showed. He didn’t understand. Why didn’t she come?

His mom did her best to console him, but eventually she took his phone away when he started to get angry. She told him, sending angry texts were not going to convince her to come. She tried to assure him that maybe she was nervous or had cold feet. That she could still show. But the hours past by and they had diner without her. 

It was now approaching 8 and he sat in the living room with a coffee in his hand, staring out at the front window. His mom came up to him and sat down next to him, placing her hand gently on his knee. Finally turning away from the window, Matthew faced his mother and gave a sad smile.

“Honey, sometimes people can be going through things that scare them. She might not know how to tell you bu-,” she paused as she saw a car pull up in front of the house and after a moment, Y/n stepped out and started to cross the yard. Matthew noticed his mother’s gaze was fixed on something past his shoulder. Turning, he saw Y/n just as she turned and stared back to the car. Jumping off the couch, he nearly spilling coffee all over his mother’s living room. 

“She is here. Mom, she is here!” He said handing her his cup, before he bolted for the door.

*****

The closer they got to Matthew’s mom’s house; the more Y/n’s nerves got the better of her. The doubt started to seep in again and by time Benny pulled up to the sidewalk she was shaking with fear. She knew she had to do this though. So, she took a deep breath and collected herself and stepped out of the car and into the pouring rain.

She had only made it halfway across the lawn, before she the panic became too great, and she turned in retreat. Maybe she should just let his mom tell him. When she made it back to the car and tried to pull the back door open, but found it locked. As she started to bang on the window, she heard Matthew call out her name. She froze, took a deep breath and turned, vaguely aware of Benny pulling away from the curb. There was no way out now, so she stared at Matthew standing on the stoop, with a desperate look on his face. 

Matthew could see that she had become frozen on the spot, so he quickly ran out into the storm. When he reached her, his mouth failed to produce the words he so badly needed to say, so he grabbed her face and pressed his lips to hers and kissed her with everything he had. 

As the rain and thunder crashed down around them, he spoke to Y/n the only way he could, with his desperate need to consume her. When he finally pulled way, everything he had been dying to tell her since she left, dislodged from his throat, and he yelled it loudly over the ranging storm around them.

“These past five months have been hell. Since you left, I’ve felt more alone than I did when you left when we were kids. Y/n, we love each other. We both know it. Neither of us could ever deny it. So… please, I never want to be without you again. I want- no, I need to wake up every morning next to you! I need to be able to give leave butterfly kisses on you shoulders and make you heart- shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I want to make out in the car before work or on the street standing in the fucking rain. And I know that it’s all so fucking cheesy, but I don’t care, because when I’m with, you make me smile so much it physically hurts, but it's a pain I never want to be without, again. I want you more than life itself. I have always been in love with you. Since the first time you walked around that very corner. I knew it was going to be you. Even as you practically ran from me. I still loved you. Only you, Y/n.”

When he was done talking, she was smiling up at him, with her hair plastered to her head and face. Though he couldn’t differentiate tears from rain drops, he knew she was crying, but he was pretty sure it was from happiness. Especially, when she reached up and pulling him down for another kiss. This one was slower… gentler. They savored the feel and taste of the other. When they broke their kiss, they pressed their foreheads together, not quite ready to separate.

“I love you, too,” she shouted, so he could hear her. 

“Promise to never leave me again?”

Nodding her head, Y/n sobbed and laughed at the same and then said, “I promise.”

Matthew smiled brightly at the women her loved, as he cups the side of her face and leaned in for another kiss. Just as their lips touch, lightning struck near by, causing bone shaking thunder to suddenly boom loudly. Y/n pulled away and shrieked, then covered her face in embarrassment.

Matthew just chuckled and grabbed her hand and shouted, “let’s get inside before we get struck by lightning,” and then pulled her to the front door, where his mother was waiting with towels. He noticed a curious look being past between Y/n and his mother, as she passed over the towels.

“You must still be hungry, how about you to go upstairs and change into something dry. I’ll heat you up some hot chocolate and dinner. Don’t take too long.” She then shooed them off and headed towards the kitchen. Stoping to, once more, share a look with Y/n, as she turned to look over her shoulder, while following Matthew upstairs.

*****

As soon as, the door shut behind them, they where surrounded by a new found awkwardness. They both stood there, silently waiting for the other to say or do something.

Matthew would be lying if he said, he didn’t crave a full body reconnection with Y/n. Every fiber of his body wanted to pick her up and toss her onto the bed and become reacquainted with her body. To make love to her, so he could reconfirm that she was really there. Really his forever. But he could also sense that something was still bothering her. She seemed nervous and tense. Her eyes kept darting around the room as she tugged on her soaked sweatshirt.

“Let me get you something to change into. I’m sure I have something,” he said, moving to his dresser drawers. 

As he dug through his old high school clothes, Y/n mumbled a quiet thank you and began to roam around his room, looking at different things. It surprised her how different, but also, how unchanged his room was from when they were kids. This room held so many memories. Most of them being the best of her childhood. Looking up, she saw that there were still a couple of glow- in -the- dark stars stuck to the ceiling.

“Do they still glow?”

“Pardon,” Matthew asked, turning to face her with a pair of gym pants and a baggy t-shirt in his hands.

Pointing up, Y/n clarified, “the stars. Do they still glow?”

Matthew smiled a small amused smile and said, “yeah, a little. Most have fallen off with time, but those one are hanging on strong.” He then walked over to her and handed her the dry cloths. 

Looking down at the garments in her hand, Y/n was worried that the pants might not be lose enough for her growing belly, so she asked, “do you possibly have anything with a drawstring?”

Matthew gave her an odd look and repeated, “drawstring?”

“Yeah, these aren’t going to fit, I don’t think,” she said, handing the pants back to him.

Still slightly confused as to why the tiny woman in front of him didn’t think the pants he gave her would fit, he took them back and said, “I’ll look again, but I’m pretty sure these would fit.”

Y/n knew it was now or never. She had to tell him. She just couldn’t find words. So, she decided, maybe she should just show him. With his back, once again, turned from her, she kicked off her KEDs and slipped out of her wet leggings. Next, she pulled her wet sweatshirt over her head and dropped it on the floor with a wet plop. Now, standing in the middle of his room in a pair of plain white cotton panties and a lace burgundy bralette, Y/n reached for the shirt he had just given her and clutch it to her chest, covering her swelling abdomen.

“Matthew? I- I need to please turn around. I have something I need to show you. W-we need to talk.”

“I found some sleep pan…” he trailed off as he turned and saw Y/n standing, apprehensively half- naked, at the door of his bed. “W- what do we need to talk about? I-is it bad?” He watched as she began to shake and chew on her bottom lip.

He started to take a step towards her, when she took a deep breath and said, “I hope not.” She then dropped the shirt to her side, exposing how her body had changed.

Matthew paused as his eyes followed the shirt, as it fell to the ground. When they moved back up her body, drew in a breath, as his eyes stopped on her stomach. Y/n watched as his eyebrows drew together in confusion and his head slightly tilted, like the different angle would make it more understandable. Then he finally exhaled, his chin started to quiver and his eyes feel shut.

Matthew shallowed past the burning lump in his throat and asked, “l-is it... A-am I-.”

“Yes! Of course, it’s yours,” she said, quickly. She watched as the tension melted from his body and was replaced with relief, as his eyes fluttered open and landed on her belly again. He was still crying, but it was different now, because he began to giggle. With three long strides he was in front of her and once again, he was kissing her like she was the air he needed to survive. 

Pulling away, with his forehead pressed against hers, he giggled again and said, “drawstrings,” like it was the funniest thing he had heard. He then dropped another light kiss on her lips, before sliding down to his knees, in front of her. Resting his forehead against her body, like he just was her head, she heard him whisper, “hello” to her belly. His hands spread across her small bump, as he dipped down to kiss it. He then looked up at her in reverence and awe. 

“You’re so beautiful. I always tried to imagine what you would look like pregnant with our baby, the reality is so much better than the fantasy.”

Y/n blushed and looked away, but gave him a shy smile. “So, you aren’t upset with me then?”

Matthew just chuckled and gave her a look like she was stupid and then something shifted in how he was looking at her. His stare was almost predatory, causing her to draw in a shaky breath. He licked his lips, before a slow smile spread across his lips, and he started to drag his eyes along her body.

“You’re not just beautiful, you’re down right sexy. Just look at you,” he started running his hands along Y/n’s body as he spoke, “these thighs and these hips, fuck baby! You look so good.” Slowly standing back up, he ran his fingers through her hair. “Your hair has gotten so long, so beautiful.” His hand moved to cup Y/n’s face, swiping his thumb pad along her cheek bone, before sliding it down along the side of her neck and onto her shoulder. He plucked that the thin shoulder straps of her bralette, before sliding them down and off her arms, leaving the garment to hang down beneath her breasts. When she moved to cover them, Matthew stopped her and gently whispered, “no, they’re perfect. I want to see them.”

“My nipples have turned into dinner plates,” she self-consciously, whined.

Matthew just smirked and said, “well, then I guess it a good thing I have a big mouth.” He then kissed her, picking her up and guiding her to wrap her legs around his waist. She then gasped and let out a little squeal, when his wet cloths came in contact with her skin. Matthew quickly and gently, deposited Y/n top of his bed, giggling.

“Your cloths are so chilly. You should definitely take them off,” Y/n said, scooting to the middle of the bed and under the covers. Matthew just smiled at her, before pulling his wet shirt over his head. Kicking off his slippers, his pants and socks followed shortly behind. Y/n held open the covers and Matthew quickly joined her beneath them.

Crawling on top of her, they both giggled. “It’s definitely nice and cozy under here,” he said, before dipping down to capture her lips in another languid kiss. She moaned into his mouth as his hands stated to travel over her body. She wrapped an arm around his neck and the other around his torso, running her nails down his back, as his mouth move across her jaw and down her neck. “We are so breaking the no bed rule,” he mumbled against her skin, causing her to giggle.

But it quickly died on her lips as she tipped her head back and she gasped as Matthew nipped at her collar bone. Then a thought popped into her head, and it stared cutting through the lust fog. “Ahh, s- should we be doing this right now? You know, with your fami… oh god…,” she momentarily lost track of her thought, as Matthew demonstrated how he could still fit her whole nipple in his mouth. Her fingers threaded into his now, long hair and her breathing increased, as her eyes slid shut. She had almost forgot how good he was with his mouth. Her previous thoughts now completely forgotten; Y/n lost herself in the sensations he was causing.

Matthew moaned against her body, as he felt her nails bite into his scalp. He was barely able to control himself, but continued his slow deliberate exploration of her new body. Honestly, he was fighting the urge to ripe her panties from her body and just slam into her. He was dying to feel her wrapped around him once again. Sliding his hand down the side of her body, he massaged her hip, before pushing his fingers beneath the fabric of her panties.

“I can’t wait to feel you baby. God, you’re so fucking wet. I’ve been so lonely without you. I wonder if you still taste the same. Do you want me find out now do you want to wait til later,” he asked, his face once again level with hers, as his fingers glided through her moist folds and he ground his erection into her hip. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard, baby. It almost hurts. Please… baby tell me what you want. I just need you touch me Y/n.”

Without hesitation, Y/n pulled Matthew down for a hungry kiss, while she started to push down his boxer the best she could. When she got them low enough, she used her feet to push them the rest of the way down and took his dick in her hand and started to slowly pump up and down.

“Ohhhh, fuuuck. Baby…,” Matthew then whimpered. “I love you so much. Y/n I need to be in you, Baby. Please… please.”

Pulling her hand from him she lifted her hips and started to push her panties off. Getting the hint, he stopped rubbing her and helped remove the fabric. “I love you too, baby. Please, hurry. I need you.” Matthew groaned at her words, leaning forward to kiss her again, while rubbing his dick through her folds and then lining himself up.

Just as he was about to push into her, there was a knock on the door, swiftly cutting threw the mood and causing them to both jump in surprise. Y/n may have even squeaked in shock.

“He dork, mom said Y/n’s food is getting cold. So, hurry up!”

They both waited until they heard Laura walk away and then Matthew picked back up where they left off. He slowly pushing into Y/n, causing her to moaned as he stretched her out, filling her completely. “Wait, Matthew we should stop.” 

He just scoffed and said “I’m not scared of my mom. I’m a grown man approaching 30. What’s going to happen? I’m going to get you more pregnant? We’ve been apart too long to stop now,” he said before hissing in pleasure. “God baby, you’re so tight. I almost forgot how good you felt,” Matthew whimpered, as he started to pull back out, just as slowly as he pushed in.

“Not that it doesn’t feel good, so so good, but shouldn’t we wait. Your mom wants us come down stairs,” Y/n tried to reason, even as she rolled her hips, seeking more friction.

Matthew just buried his face in her neck and chucked. “Trust me baby, this isn’t going to last long. I’ve been missing you so bad.”

Gasping, as he hitched her legs around his waist and picked up his pace, Y/n said with amusement, “is that something you should really advertise?”

“Don’t worry, honey, I’ll get you there, too. When have I ever left you wanting?”

An airy chuckle left her lips, as she confirmed, “that’s true… ahhh…fuck, I missed this so much. You have no idea how horny I’ve been.”

The pace Matthew had set was starting to make his childhood bed bang against the wall, and when he started groaning loudly, Y/n giggled then shushed him. “Baby, the whole neighborhood going to hear you,” she warned, pulling his lips to hers to swallow his moans.

He pulled away from her lips and said, “sorry… sorry, y-you just feel so good. Oh… I love you, baby. I’m so c-close... so close,” he stammered as he reached down and stared to rub her clit. “I need you to cum for me baby, I need to feel you cum.”

Just as the worlds slipped from his mouth there was a bang on the door again. All movement stop and Matthew literally growled in frustration and yelled, “get lost Laura, we are talking! We will be down in 10 minutes!”

“Matthew Grey Gubler, you will be down in five minutes. This whole house knows that more then pleasant conversation is happing up here. If you both are not down stairs in five, I will be back up here and I will come into this room. If you thought, me walking in with your hand up her shirt was bad,” his mother warned, from the other side of the door.

Both Matthew and Y/n’s eyes widened and, she whispered, “I don’t think we locked the door.”

She had never seen Matthew move so fast, as he let out a womanly screech and pulled away from her and out of the bed. Y/n was laughing, as she rolled out of the bed and started to collect the clotes, he had given her earlier and began to dress. “What was that about you being a grown man not afraid of his mother?”

Matthew was quickly dressing himself, when he said, “I lied. I’m in so much trouble.” Y/n just pulled her shirt over her head, as she started to laugh even harder. “Shut up! It’s not funny!” 

She walked over to him and pulled him down for a quick kiss and said, “it kinda is. Let just go down there. I’ll eat and then we can go back to my place and finish. Because I don’t know about you, but I’m extremely frustrated, now.”

“Oh my god, right! Actually, I have a better idea, lets find a fancy hotel room, with a big bed and a even bigger bathtub. No chances of interruption that way.” 

“God yes! That does sound so much better! We can have a bubble bath and, in the morning, after fantastic morning sex we can order in bougie room service breakfast!” 

Matthew smiled down at her and kissed her one more time and let out a little whine as he pulled away. “I forgot how cute you you could be when you’re excited about something. I love you, so much it hurts.”

Y/n smiled back up at him and brushed his now drying, curls hair his face. “I love you, too. I’m so happy that we are finally able to be together, again. That we are having this baby and we will be able to raise it together.” Matthew rested his forehead against hers as he placed a hand over their growing child. 

“This is the best birthday I’ve ever had. Thank you.” She just smiled at him and covered his hand with hers, before pulling his hand to her mouth and kissing his knuckles.

“No, thank you. For giving me a reason to live again and for never stopping loving me. Even despite everything.” Tears started to fill in her eyes and she laughed wiping at them, “oh my god, these damn hormones.”

Matthew chuckled and said, “I can’t wait to experience all your hormonal mood swings with you. You are so beautiful, when you’re pissed off and feisty.”

Y/n just rolled her eyes and led him to the door. When it she opened it without having to unlock it, she turned, raising an eyebrow and smirked. When Matthew gave her a slightly frightened look, she started to laugh again as she pulled him towards the stairs.


	15. Chapter 15

As they reached the bottom of the steps, they were greeted by Matthew’s, very unamused mother.

“Y/n, your meal is in the dinning room. Though it is more than likely cold now.”

Y/n shifted uneasily, from foot to foot and said, “Thank you Mrs. G. It perfect, I’m sure. I-I’m sorry that we… took so long to come down stairs.”

His mother just lifted and eyebrow and pinned her eyes on her son. “Matthew, I need to talk to you in the the kitchen, now.”

Matthew swallowed nervously and nodded his head, before glancing over at Y/n and grimacing as he followed his mother to the kitchen.

“It will be ok. I love you ,” she mouthed to him, as she sat at the table and started to eat the salmon and asparagus his mother had warmed up for her. Just as Matthew disappeared through the kitchen door, Laura sauntered over and sat in the chair across from her.

“So, that was pretty entertaining and not at all awkward,” Laura said, chuckling. Y/n just blushed, as she looked down at her plate and pushed her food around.  
They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a moment when Matthew’s sister asked, “Am I getting a niece or nephew?”

Y/n glanced up at Laura and took another bite of fish before answering, “I’m only sixteen weeks. I won’t know until my anatomy ultrasound in two weeks. But we will let you know.”

“Are you moving back to L.A. with Matthew?”

Y/n paused in thought, before saying, “we haven’t really talked about it… or much of anything yet.”

“Yeah, I know… we heard.” Y/n ducked her head in embarrassment again. “Oh my god, relax! I’m just teasing. Anyways, you do know he isn’t going to leave without you right. Honestly, I’ll be surprised if he ever lets you out of his sight again.”

Y/n smiled to herself and munched on an asparagus. She really kinda like that idea and definitely felt the same. “I’ll happily go home. We’ve been away from each other for too long.”

As Y/n sat and quietly ate her dinner, Laura smiled at her. She was happy for her and her brother. Anyone, who has ever seen them together knew that they were made for each other.

******

As soon as they were alone, Matthew started to apologize, “Mom, I am so so sorry! I don’t even know what to say. We just got caught in the moment. She just gave me really great news and it’s been so long since we—.”

“Stop. Matthew, just stop. It’s fine, I understand. I really do. I was young and in love once and you two are not children anymore. You’re an adult, in an adult relationship. I do, however, wish you could have gone about it a little quitter. Let’s just not let happen in my house, again. I don’t care if you almost thirty. I will remove that door, if I have to.” Marilyn was glad to see her son had enough sense to look ashamed, as he looked down at his feet. “But none of that is why I wanted to talk to you.”

Matthew looked up at his mother with confusion. “Then what did you want to talk about?”

“You have a child on the way and you finally got the woman you love… don’t mess it up this time, son. I’ve known since the two of you met that this was where it would lead. I never once doubted it. Which, is why I was so strict about you two not being left alone. I was worried we would get here much sooner then necessary. I didn’t want you both to ruin your lives. I assume you plan to get married at some point?”

Matthew actually got a far away look in his eye, as he imagined Y/n in a wedding dress. The thought bring a smile to his face. Nodding his head, he finally focused back on his mother and confirmed, “most definitely. Probably not right away, because I don’t feel like we need to rush. But when the time was right, yeah. I’m definitely going to marry her. I can’t imagine not doing so.

Marilyn steadied her gaze on her son a moment before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small plum- colored, velvet box. She looked down at it for a moment, before walking over to Matthew, reaching out for his hand and placing the small box in his palm. Matthew once again gave his mother a confused look. 

“What is this,” he asked, as he slowly opened the box. When he saw what was inside his breath hitched and he swallowed back a lump in his throat.

“It’s your grandmother and grandfather’s wedding bands and engagement ring. When the time is right. I want you two to have these.”

“Aww, mom! They are beautiful! Thank you! I love you. You are literally the best mom a boy could ever ask for,” Matthew said, as he pulled his mother into a tight hug and kissed her check. He then pulled away and looked at the rings within the velvet box. They were perfect! He smiled to himself as he slide the box into the pocket of his sweat pants. He couldn’t wait until these rings were nestled on Y/n beautiful finger.

“How about we go out there and see how Y/n is doing with her dinner. I also, have so much more to ask her.”

As they were about to exit the kitchen, it dawned on Matthew that his mother knew Y/n was pregnant, even thought he knew he didn’t tell her. “Mom wait, how did you know Y/n was pregnant?”

Turn back to her son, Marilyn had an amused smile on her face, and said, “Honey, I’ve suspected since Christmas and that picture she gave you. You may not be able to recognize a pregnant woman, but I can. I didn’t confirm it until yesterday though.”

“H-how did you confirm it?” 

His mother just laughed and explained, “well, I may have distracted you with the crockpot, yesterday and stole her number from your phone.”

Matthew’s eyes widened in shock, “mom, seriously?! Hold on, was that what all the painfully personal questions were about? You were trying to figure out if it was mine.”

“Yes, I was and I’m sorry I went through your phone, but I had to know. So… I texted her and just asked. She admitted it and I told her that she needed to tell you. She said she already planned on telling you today. I did have to call her and light a fire under ass tonight, but here we are. All fixed!” She then smiled at her son, and patted him on the check, before exiting the kitchen. Matthew just chuckled in disbelief and shook his head. He couldn’t even explain how grateful he was. 

As he entered the dinning room, Y/n looked up from her plate smiled at him and it was contagious. Walking over to her, she tipped her head back as he dipped down and stole a quick kiss. “How is your dinner?”

“Mmm, so good! Neither Benny or I can really cook to save our lives, so the only time we get a decent meal is when Ziggy is visiting.”

“So, the mystery boyfriend was really you?”

Y/n just laughed and shook her head, “Ziggy might have started coming here to see me, but I can promise you it has nothing to do with me now. There is a, “mystery man,” as you say, and it is Benny.”

“Wait… Benny? As in, your brother Benny?”

“The one and only. They are totally in love.”

“Well, good for them. Maybe Ziggy will stop hitting on my now,” Matthew said jokingly, as he sat down next to Y/n and reached over to grab a stick of asparagus. 

Reaching between them, Marilyn slapped his hand, causing Matthew to drop the veggie and snatch back his hand. “Ow! What was that for?”

“Don’t steal your babies food,” his mother sassed, causing Y/n to raise and brow at him and giggle. She then picked up the stock he tried to steal and started to munch on it.

Matthew just rolled his eyes, but smirked and said, “sorry!”

“So, have the doctors said if the baby is developing ok,” Marilyn asked, settling down at the table.

“Umm, so far everything seems to be going well, but we will know more at my next appointment. It’s when they do that extra long sonogram and do all the measurements.” She then nudged Matthew and smiled before saying, “it’s also when we find out if it’s a boy or girl.”

A huge smile spread across his face and he leaned over and stole another kiss and gently said, “I love you.”

Y/n blushed and returned his smile and said, “ I love you , too.”

“So, are you hoping for a girl or boy,” Laura asked.

“I really don’t have a preference. Just as long as the baby is healthy. What about you? Pink or blue,” Y/n asked, looking at Matthew.

“I think I’ll be happy with either. Though, I wouldn’t mind having a little girl to wrap me around their finger. Just like her mom,” he said, smiling at Y/n.

“All I know, is you’re going to be an awesome dad. Which is good, because I’m gunna be honest, I’m a little worried about my own parental skill set.”

“That’s nonsense. I saw how good you were with your little bother. I think you’ll be fine,” Marilyn reassured.

Matthew reaches over for her hand and pulled it to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “She is right. You did everything in your power to take care of and protect Benny back then. You’re going to be the world’s best mother… next to my mom, that is.”

“Ugh, don’t listen to him. He is still trying to kiss my butt, because of the earlier indiscretion,” Marilyn said, causing Y/n to to blush, but also chuckle.

“Anyway… Y/n and I are going to head out soon. We are gunna get a fancy casino hotel room and spend some alone time together. Talk some things out and make plans,” Matthew informed, rubbing his thumb over the hand he was still holding.

“Yeah, talking and plan making. That sounds legit,” Laura teased, as she got up from the table.

“Shut up,” Matthew called out to his sister, as she slipped out of the dinning room.

Ignoring her grown children, Marilyn said, “Well, when you are all finished eating let me know. I’ll get you a piece of cake for the road.” She then stood up and left Matthew and Y/n sitting at the table alone.

“Mmm, cake. I’m actually kinda excited for that.” Matthew chuckled at her and then quietly stared at her. After a moment, Y/n asked, “what?”

“You’re just so beautiful and I’m so happy you’re here. I really, really missed you. I felt empty without you,” Matthew said quietly, in a gravely voice. He sounded as though he was close to crying. “I was starting to think I was never going to see you again.” Y/n watched quietly, as he look down at their connected hands and swallowed. “Why did it take you so long to tell me? I’ve missed so much,” he asked, finally letting go of her hand, only to softy lay it on her abdomen.

Signing, Y/n put down her fork and turned in her chair so she was facing Matthew and waited for him to turn so he was mirroring her. She was nervous, but she knew they were going to have this conversation eventually. He deserved to have answers.

Taking a deep breath, she began, “I- I… no. When I left, I did so because I knew that you wouldn’t be able to focus on what you needed to do to be a father to what we thought was your baby. I didn’t feel like it was fair of my to do that. I also was in a dark place personally. I had fallen off the wagon and wasn’t exactly proud of myself. I didn’t feel like I could do you any good like that. The night you came to the hotel… was on of my best and one of my most shameful nights of my life. You are a decent and… good person. That night I felt like I had somehow defiled that because I seduced you down to my level. I-.”

“Now, wait one minute! You didn’t do anything that night. I went there with a packed overnight bag. I knew what was going to happen when I walked through that door. Fuck, I was hoping for it. Sure I drank with you and smoked with you, but I’ve done that with you before. It wasn’t like you made me. If anyone was in the wrong it was me. I shouldn’t have encouraged you. I should have taken away the alcohol and weed. I should have waited until you were sober before I carried you to that bed. All you did was tell me to take off my pants and to dance. I’m the one who practically begged you to sleep with me. I- I saw the luggage and I knew you where going to leave… I needed to be with you one last time, before you left me for good. So, just so we are clear. You didn’t do anything wrong that night. You were beautiful and the memories of that night have been one of the things that have kept me warm at night. As for the baby… I was having a hard time connecting with it, because I couldn’t stand Vivian. I felt almost resentful towards her and it all just felt so wrong. The whole thing. I was starting to doubt it was mine long before I actually found out it wasn’t. That had very little to do with you. So, don’t take the blame for it.”

Y/n wiped at her eyes and nodded her head, as she swallowed past the lump in her throat. Taking a shaky breath, she continued her explanation, “when I got here, I was a mess. I could barely make it off the bus, I was so wasted. The first six weeks were a blur. I partied and drank and parried some more. I did everything I could, to try and distract myself from thoughts of you or anything going on back in L.A. I refused to look up anything about you or Vivian. I didn’t want to know, because it hurt even thinking about it. But then I kept getting sick and I was so sensitive to certain smells. Once my breast started hurting, it just clicked and I realized I hadn’t had a period in over two months. I also realized that I hadn’t been taking my birth control since I started drinking again. It just never occurred to me. Hell, they are probably still sitting in the cupboard in your kitchen.”

Matthew chuckled and said, “now I’m gunna have to check when we get home.”

Y/n picked up on his, “when we get home,” but decided not to touch that just yet. “Anyways, I took a shit ton of tests. All positive and I stopped drinking that day. I did call you, but you didn’t answer… I can’t really guarantee that I wouldn’t have just hung up if you had. I was so scared. I still thought you were with Vivian and I didn’t want to dump more in your plate. I was also really worried and ashamed. I thought I could have hurt the baby with all the drinking I had been doing. Part of me still does…,” Y/n confessed quietly, as tears continued to roll down her cheeks. She couldn’t look at Matthew. She didn’t want to see his disappointment or disgust. But when he suddenly slid down onto his knees in front of her and wrapped his arms around her waist and looked up into her eyes all she saw was his love for her. No judgment or anger. She drew in a ragged breath, before she closed the space between them and kissed him slowly. 

“You didn’t know. If there was something wrong they would have figured it out but now. And if something does pop up, then we deal with it. I would never love you or our baby any less. I just wish I could have been there for you. You must have been so scared.”

“How are you so perfect? It’s really not fair.”

Matthew smile a lopsided smile and said, “we both know that is some bullshit. I’m not perfect. I have stumbled through this relationship like a blind bull in a china shop. I’ve have fucked up so many times, it is almost comical. Neither of us are perfect, that’s what makes us perfect for each other. So… I get why you didn’t call me in the beginning, but it’s been five months…”

Y/n cringed and groaned. “Honestly… you know how stubborn I am. Benny and Ziggy kept trying to tell me about all the Vivian bullshit and I wouldn’t listen. I refused to hear any of it. So… I thought you were still together… that she must have had her baby. But then they had enough. They sat me down and made me watch news clips. I was so angry, but then I came undone because I realized all the time we had missed because of my hard- headedness. But you were off filming and I wanted to tell you in person. So I waited until you came here for your birthday.”

“That’s why you texted me first.” Y/n just nodded her head.

“I’m sorry I messed it all up. That I made you miss so much. If it any consolation, all you’ve really missed is a lot of mood swings and vomiting.”

“Have you have an ultrasound yet?”

“Yes, I actually brought it with me and the burned disk of the first heart beat… but I think I left it in the back seat of Ziggy’s car. I completely forgot to grab my purse.”

Matthew smiled and reassured her, “that’s ok. I’ll see it tomorrow. Im not going to lie. I’m sad I missed out on so much. Even if it was just mood swings and vomit. But, I’m more happy that you’ve told me and that I can be there for the rest of it. I can’t wait to go on first midnight craving run.”

Y/n laughed and held his face in her hands as she bent forward to kiss him. “I love you and I so don’t deserve you. Promise to never get tired of me? Even if I am batshit crazy?”

“Please, that is like humanly impossible. I will only love you more from this point on.” He looked over at her plate and then asked, “are you finished eating? I’m so ready to find a room and finish what me started. I don’t plan on letting you leave the bed for a week.”

“We better bring water then. Or else we will get very dehydrated.” Matthew laughed as he stood and collected her plate. “I’ll have my mom put some cake in a tuber-ware and then we can go up stairs and pack a quick bag. Did you want to stop at your place to get some clothes?”

“No, I can wait until tomorrow. I just want to get to our room,” she said smiling seductively. Matthew’s tongue swiped across his bottom lip, before he bit it and gave Y/n a smirk, causing her to blushed as she giggled gently.

“While I go find my mom, you pop on up stairs and get your things. I’ll meet you up there in a minute.” Matthew, then quickly gave her a peck, before turning around and disappearing into the kitchen, while calling out for his mother. Shaking her head with an amused smile, Y/n headed up stairs, like directed.

******

Y/n was excited when the pulled up to the hotel. She had never stayed at a five start hotel, at least not one like the Waldorf Astoria. But as they walked into the hotel lobby, Y/n felt really out of place. Everyone around them were dressed to the nines and Matthew and she looked like a couple of kids that just crawled out of their parents basement. To say that they were getting some strange looks was an understatement. 

Leaning closer to Matthew, Y/n whispered, “maybe we should have changed into better clothes… or picked a hotel that wasn’t so classy. Can you even afford this place?”

Matthew turned and smiled sweetly at her. “Yeah, I pretty sure I can cover it. That chipmunk movie brought in a lot of money… like really. As for all these snotty people, fuck’m. You’re still the prettiest girl in the room.”

Y/n smiled and said, “stahp!” Matthew just laughed as they approached the service desk.

After checking in, they headed to the elevator and crowded into the lift with several other guests. As the doors started to close a woman’s voice could be heard to calling for someone to hold the door. Matthew, being polite, reached out and grab the side of the door causing it to open again. Standing there was a beautiful blonde, dressed in a skimpy dress, grinning ear to ear and staring directly at Matthew.

“Omg, it is you! You play Spencer Reid! I know it was you,” the girl said, as she hurried her way into the elevator. “I’m such a big fan! Is there a way I can get a picture with you?” 

Matthew just glanced at Y/n and then chuckled awkwardly and said, “oh hey! Yeah sure. I can take a quick picture. No problem.” The girl then got close to Matthew and pulled out her phone and pulled up the camera and practically shoved it at Y/n. She watched as the other women snuggled in close to her boyfriend and place an arm around his waist and her other hand on his chest. Matthew raised an eyebrow at Y/n, before putting his hand on the girls shoulder and gave a toothy grin for the camera.

After taking two pictures, Y/n handed back the phone and waited for the woman to take her hands off of Matthew. Unfortunately, she only removed her hand from his chest, but kept her arm loosely around his waist. Even after Matthew tried to put some distance between them. She kept it there and chatted with him until they reached the third floor. She thanked him and stepped out of the elevator.

Matthew could tell that Y/n was a little annoyed with what had happened, so he moved closer to her and whispered, “you ok?”

“She was very pretty,” she said, crossing her arms across her chest. She couldn’t help, but feel a little self conscious in comparison to the other woman.

Matthew just chuckled and reached down and grabbed a handful of Y/n’s ass and pulled her flush to the side of his body. Bending down he kissed her neck, just beneath her ear and then said, “still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

Y/n couldn’t help but smile. Glancing up at him, she found him staring at her lovingly, causing her to practically melt into his side. “Good.” Matthew shook his head as he laughed, squeezing her closer to him. 

“What floor are we on?”

“Thirty- two. I got us one of the really nice rooms. They are supposed to have these big bowl tubs.”

“Here I thought you where trying to pamper me. I should have know it was all about the tub.” Matthew just raised an eyebrow and leered at her, causing a warming sensation to spread across her body. “Oh…”

“Yeah.”

By now, there were only one other person on the elevator and when they stepped off on the twenty-fifth floor, Y/n didn’t know what hit her. One moment she was standing there and the next Matthew had her pinned against the wall, while his hands and mouth attached to anything they could. She gasped, as he bit the junction between her neck and shoulder, while simultaneously slipping his hand down the front of her flannel sleep pants. “Oh god… aaah, fuck. This thing need to go faster.”

“I can go faster,” Matthew said, as he sped up the tempo he was using, as he vigorously rubbed her clit.

“Oh shit! Fuck… Matthew!” She clung to his shoulders as her legs started to tremble and she closed her eyes. Y/n’s breathing became labored as she teetered on the edge. With just a quick twist of her clit, she came undone. As she climaxed, Matthew had to practically hold her up as her legs tried to give out on her. 

“I told you I’d get you there. Wasn’t gunna leave you hanging for long.” When she came down, her face was buried in his chest and the elevator door slide open with a ding. “We are here, baby.” Y/n mumbled something against his chest, that he couldn’t quiet understand. Chuckling, he scooped her up and carried her to their suite. When they got to the door, he gently placed her on her feet, “you good now, Baby?”

“Yeah, I think I got it. That was… unexpected, but appreciated. I really hope there wasn’t any cameras in there.”

Matthew chuckled, knowing that there more then likely were. He quickly unlocked the suite door and held it open for Y/n to walk through. When she passed him she gave him a quick peck, before entering the room.

“Holy shit! This is practically an apartment. This place is huge! Oh my god, look at this view,” she said, running over the the ceiling to floor window, that overlooked the Las Vegas strip. “I’ve never seen the city like this. It’s so pretty, you can almost forget about all danger and crime.”

Matthew hummed in agreement, as came and stood behind Y/n. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her shoulder. “Do you like the room?”

Y/n turned in his arms and wrapped hers around his neck and smiled up at him. “I really do. It’s amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever been anywhere this nice before. Oh, I should FaceTime Benny and Ziggy! Show off the room!” She then lifted up on her toes and gave Matthew a quick kiss, “I love you!”

He smiled down at her and brush some hair from her face. “I love you, too. Do you want me to start running a bath while you call the guys?”

“Oh, yes please,” she said excitedly, as she broke away from him and pulled out her phone. 

As she made her call, Matthew wondered off to the bathroom to prepare a romantic bath. He was incredibly happy. Nothing could bring him down at this point. The little velvet box was burning a hole in his pocket. He wanted to give it to her at just the right time. He couldn’t wait to be able to tell everyone she was his wife. 

Slipping out of his clothes, he plugged the tub and adjusted the temperature of the water to hot, but not too hot. He remembered from the books Vivian had purchased, that pregnant woman weren’t supposed to take really hot baths. Looking around, he found some supplied bath oils, and after taking a sniff he added some to the water. 

“Wow, that is huge,” Y/n exclaimed from behind him. 

Smiling at her, he joked, “Why, thank you. Though, you’d think that by now it wouldn’t be all that surprising.”

Y/n rolled her eyes and said, “Though impressive, I was talking about the tub, not your dick, dweeb.” 

Matthew just smiled at her as he turned off the water and walked over to her. He wrapped an arm around her waist and wove his other hand in her hair as he cupped the back of her head and kissed her deeply. Pulling away he, in a breathless voice, he said, “ you have on entirely too many clothes.”

“Than maybe you should help me with that.”

“Gladly,” he said, letting his hands fall to the hem of her shirt and lift it over her head. He hummed at the sight of lace bralette and said, “I was to rushed earlier to appreciate this. Very sexy.” He then placed a kiss on her neck, moving down to her shoulder and clavicle, before removing it from her body. He ran his hands across her exposed skin, enjoying the sight of the goosebumps that appeared with his touch. “So beautiful,” he mumbled, as his hands moved to the waste band of her sleep pants and pushed them down her hips. As they pooled around her feet and she stepped out of them, Matthew let this eyes move along her body. “How did I get so lucky,” he asked, as he pulled her to him, so he could feel her skin against his. Once again he pulled her into a deep kiss, savoring the way she tasted on his lips. 

Y/n pulled away and whispered, “The water is going to get cold. Help me get in,” she asked, as she pulled him to the tub. He held her hand with one of his and steadied her with the other on her lower back.

“You look like Venus,” he said , staring at her standing in the tub. 

Y/n just rolled her eyes and giggled, “You’re so cheesy. Hurry up and get in here.”

As Matthew climbed in, he asked, “What? I can’t appreciate my woman’s goddess like form?” As he sat down, into the water, he laughed when she just clicked her tongue. He soon stop though, as she nestled her ass between his legs with her back resting against his chest.

“Mmm, the water feels good and smells even better. What did you put in it? …. Matthew?”

“What,” he asked. He had been too distracted, by the feel of her pressed against his body. He started to run his hands along her wet skin, causing him to begin to harden.

“I asked… what is was… that you put in the water,” she asked again, only this time she found herself a distracted. Mostly by Matthew hard cock now pressed against her ass.

“Umm.. I think some lavender bath oil,” he said, as he pulled her wet hair to the side and stared to pepper kisses along her shoulder. He found a breast and started to pluck at her nipple, as he rolled his hips up against her backside. “We should finish what we started earlier,” he whispered, as he nuzzled the back of her ear with his nose. He then slide his hand over her belly and asked, “I really want to see what you look like riding me. Can you do that, Baby?”

He watched Y/n bite her lip and smile, before rising up and turning to straddle and sit on his thighs. “Do you really think I’m pretty like this? You actually find this attractive?”

“Yes, definitely! I’ve dreamt about it forever. It was actually one of my biggest fantasies all those virginal years. Just sitting around, pining over you. I would dream about us being married and having kids. I would try to imagine what you would look like all grown up and how you would look pregnant.” He ran his hands down her body and rested them on her belly. “You’re more beautiful then anything my imagination cooked up. I almost feel like I’m dreaming. I can even explain how happy you’ve made me tonight. How much I love you and how excited I am to start this family together. To me, you couldn’t get any sexier.”

Y/n looked at him through her lashes and smiled sweetly. He tilted his head to the side and gently smiled back and then jokingly asked, “Do you still find me sexy like this?”

Y/n threw her head back and laughed loudly. “You look the same, dork and yes I still think you’re sexy. You sir, will never, not be sexy to me. Fuck, you don’t even try. You could be a vegetable and I still would want what you got.” She then leaned forward and braced herself on the tub, behind his head. As he tilted his head back to look up at her, she pressed her lips to his, in a slow and seductive kiss. Matthew moaned into her mouth as one of her hands moved down his chest and wrapped around his rigid cock and slowly started to pump up and down.

He pulled away with a hiss and his hand gripped her hips. “Fuck, Baby. I love the way your hands feel on me, but I really need more, Honey. I need to be in you. Please, Y/n.”

“Ok, got you,” she said, returning her lips to his, as she lifted her hips and scooted over his. She quickly lined him up with her opening and slowly sank down onto Matthew. She closed her eyes and gasped, once she had him fully seated within her and balance herself with her hands now on his chest. He started to massage her hips and ass as if to urge her to move, but she stayed still. As she tried to adjust to his size, it never fails to amaze her how full he always made her feel. 

“Baby, please,” Matthew pleaded, beneath her. 

Opening her eyes, she saw him desperately staring up at her. The firm grip he had on her hips and the tight, twitching muscles of his abdomen, told her, he was trying so hard not to take control. God, Matthew was so beautiful. Taking pity on him, she started raised up while simultaneously rotating her hips. It felt amazing and once again her eye flutter shut, as she released a shuttering breath. She began an agonizingly, slow tempo. With her eyes still closed, she focused on the way Matthew felt inside her and how he was pulling and pushing her hips. He had began moving with her and it was making her feel like she was going to melt. The sounds of slashing water and their gasps and moans filled the bathroom.

“Y/n… please sweetheart, open your eyes… let me see you… I need your mouth baby,” Matthew begged, through his labored breath and moans. Y/n opened her eyes and stared deeply into his, as her mouth hung open in pleasure as she moved. 

Leaning forward Y/n, whispered against his lip, “I love you,” before pulling him into a deep and frantic kisses. Matthew reached up and cupped the side of her face, in the why that always gave her butterflies. He also wrapped his other arm around her waist and stared to increase he speed and force in which he moved within her. They pulled away, resting their foreheads together, as they both moaned and grunted through the pleasure. It wasn’t long before Matthew started cursing and rambling, poetically about her beauty and the way she felt around around him. 

Y/n sat back up and stared to bounce faster and threw her head back and made keening noises, as she grew close to climax. Matthew also sat up, clinging to her as he pulled a nipple into his mouth and beginning to circle the bundle of nerves between her thighs. She clutched onto he head and shoulder as she began to whimper and quiver around him. “Oh.. god, Matthew… I’m so close, Baby. Yes… yes.. please… ahhhh, fuck!” Her body tensed as she came and her mouth open in a silent scream of pleasure. Matthew released her nipple with a pop and groaned as he buried his face in her chest, his movements became staggered with his own release. They stayed clasped together like that, breathing heavy with his face nuzzled between her breasts and her cheeks resting atop his head.

“I love you,” he mumbled against her skin.

“I love you, too,” she gently, returned.

Once they had calmed down, they quickly washed up and drained the cooling water and wrapped up in the provided fluffy robes.

Y/n yawned, as she wandered back into the main part of the suite, still quite blown away by how luxurious the room was. Walking over to the king size bed, she pulled back the covers, removed her robe and slide beneath the sheets. She hummed as she was encased in the expensive linens. “Even the sheets feel too good for me,” she joked, only to yawn again.

“You tired, Baby,” Matthew asked, as he grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge. 

“Yeah, a little. It’s been a long stressful day. I spent most of it freaking out about going to see you.” 

Handing her a bottle and placing his on the night stand, Matthew removed his robe and slid under the sheets with Y/n. As, he snuggled up to her slide, she pecked him and then turned so he could spoon her. Wrapping his arm, gently around her abdomen he kissed her shoulder and ask, “aren’t you glad that you did though?”

Y/n hummed sleepily, as she snuggled even closer to Matthew, “I’m so happy I did.”

Matthew propped his head up with on hand and watched as another yawn escaped Y/n and she quickly feel to sleep. Carefully, he brushed the hair from her face and place a soft lingering kiss on her temple. He smiled to himself, as she she giggled and mumbled something unintelligible in her sleep. He had never been this happy in his life. Everything was finally falling into place.

Letting his hand settle back over their baby, Matthew felt tears start to collect in his eyes. He understood why she didn’t tell him right away and he wasn’t mad, but he was sad he had missed so much. That the baby didn’t know his voice. Stealing a glance at Y/n, he wondered if she talked to the baby. He was sure she did. He himself couldn’t wait to read it stories.

As Y/n shifted in her sleep and rolled onto her back, Matthew took opportunity to kiss her forehead before he side down beneath the blankets and laid his head on her chest. He found the sound of her heart comforting. She was home to him and he never wanted to lose her again. He placed his hand on her belly and smiled to himself. He wanted to talk to the baby, but he wasn’t sure what you said to a growing fetus.

Sighing, Matthew started slowly, “hi little bean… so, I’m your dad. From here on out you’re going to hear a lot from me… I’m sorry I haven’t been around till now, but trust me, when I say, there will be no getting rid of me now. I love you and your mum so much. I’ll do anything I can for the both of you. I’m going to teach you everything I know… even if that isn’t much…,” Matthew said, quietly chuckling. It was then, the blankets lifted up off his head, causing him to look up surprised.

“What ya doing down there,” Y/n asked, in a sleepy tone. 

She was smiling softly at him, causing his heart to melt even further for her. She really was perfect to him. Smiling back at her, he said, “just having a one on one with the bean.” He kissed her belly and told the baby he loved it, before moving back up the bed so he was face to face with Y/n. 

She turned on her side so, they were almost nose to nose and she ran her fingers through his now wild hair. He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen and the sweetest. She had woken up the moment he had laid his head on her chest, but had stayed silent, curious about what he would do next. When he had started talking to the baby, it took everything she had not to start crying. It was one of sweetest things he had ever done and it reassured her that he was truly happy with how things have turned out. That he was just excited about the baby as she was. She couldn’t love him more.

“Sorry, I fell asleep. It’s our reunion night and I’m passing out on you.”

Matthew just laughed and said, “Well, seeing as how you’re literally growing a human being inside of you, I think I can give you some slack. I’m sure it’s pretty exhausting. Not to mention, we did just expended a lot of energy earlier.”

Y/n smiled at him and said, “I’m feeling a little hungry again. How about we order some room service and I take a little cat nap while we are waiting for it to get here. Once we are done eating, maybe we can expend some more energy.”

Matthew just smirked at her at her with a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’ll get the menu.”

*****

The next morning they woke up late and ordered fruit and waffles for breakfast. Matthew insisted on a side of bacon, because he thought the baby also needed some protein. 

Y/n just shook her head, as she giggled at him. Even though, she was annoyed that her wouldn’t let her have any coffee and had handed her juice. He was at least polite enough to quickly drink his out of site. Though she was pretty sure he did it out of fear and than politeness.

After eating, they lounged around the room a bit just enjoying each other’s company. It amazed Y/n, how even after so much time apart, they could pick up right where they left of, like it was yesterday. While she was lost in thought, Matthew startled her when he suddenly started talking.

“So, what do you want to do today? I know we need to stop by your place. Get you, your prenatal pills and some clothes, but after that any ideas?”

“Umm… not really. Do you?”

“I for one would like to go to the mall.”

“The mall… why?”

“I want to see if it still has that photo booth.”

Y/n just smiled, slowly at him and said, “I really love that idea.”

“And maybe after we can… I don’t know, got to the tree together. I want to take I picture there, too.” 

Y/n stood up from the couch and walked over to the table he was sitting and crawled onto his lap, with her legs bent so her feet were on the seat between his thighs. He then reached up, threading his fingers within her hair and pulled her into a slow gentle kiss. When they pulled away, he once again, declared his feelings for her.

Getting up, Y/n pulled her shirt up over her head and shimmied out of her panties, causing Matthew to licked his lips as his eyes moved over her body. “Do you want to take a shower with me?”

“Do I ever,” he said, pulling off his shirt and taking chase, as she scampered off towards the bathroom with a giggle.

*******

As they walked up to Benny and her’s apartment, Y/n pulled out her phone and called Ziggy. Matthew gave her an odd look, being that she had the keys in her hand.

“Why do have to call them? Just unlock the door.”

Y/n just laughed and shook her head and was about to explain, when Ziggy picked up. “Hey, we are outside. Everybody dressed or at least not naked in the common living areas? Cool,” she said hanging up and unlocking the front door. “You don’t want to know what I walked in on last week. So, now I call Ziggy, because he more likely to answer.”

Matthew threw his head back as he laughed and followed Y/n in to her apartment. “I’m gunna have to hear about that later.” 

As he shut the door behind him, Benny and Ziggy stepped out of the kitchen to greet them. “Hey guys,”Matthew said, waving awkwardly.

“Pretty boy, Matthew! Buddy of mine! I’m so happy that you two have talked and worked it out! I was starting to feel like a kid bouncing back and forth between his divorced parents,” Ziggy said, making his way across the room to pull the other man into a tight hug. “All the secrets where starting to turn me grey!” 

Matthew laughed and patted him on the back. “Hey, don’t look at me, it wasn’t my idea. I actually tried to catch her before she left. She lied about when she was leaving and was gone before I even got there.”

In a small, quiet voice, Y/n apologized and tried to bolt from the room, but Matthew caught her by the arm and quickly apologized, “hey, no. I’m sorry. That was insensitive. I told you, I’m not mad. I understand why you did what you did. Baby, don’t be upset. I just didn’t think before I spoke. I. Love. You,” he said, holding her face in his hands, “I’m sorry, I promise.”

Y/n looked up at him with a sigh, “I know… no, I’m sorry. I just still feel really guilty… and hormonal.”

“Ha… she ain’t lying,” Benny mumbled as he plopped on the couch, next to his now grimacing boyfriend. Y/n to glare at her brother, while Matthew started to laugh, causing her to then turn her glare at him. 

Matthew just started to laugh even harder and despite her struggle to break lose, he pulled her into a tight hug. “Like I said before, I can’t wait for all your mood swings and weird food cravings. All the good and bad.”

“I’d be careful man… you haven’t experienced the pregnancy gas.”

“Oh my god, Benny! Will you stop,” Y/n whined, as she blushed with embarrassment, burying her face in Matthew’s shoulder. Matthew on the other hand was just as red, but only because he was laughing so hard he could barely breath. Y/n pulled away from her giddy boyfriend, as he tried to calm himself down. When he took another look at her standing there with a glare and her hands on her hips, he busted out in another fit of giggles and hitched over grabbing his side.

“Ugh, I’m gunna go change and pack a bag,” Y/n said, as she slipped out to of the room and into her room.

Pushing off the wall, Matthew said, “hey, wait,” as he followed quickly behind her. Shutting her door behind him, he moved to stand behind her, as she dug through her closet. “I’m sorry, I laughed. Don’t be embarrassed. I little gas isn’t going to scare me away.”

“Can we not talk about it?”

“Ok… ok, subject changed. Pick something out that will show off your belly. So, our tree photo can be a family photo,” he said, resting his chin on her shoulder while wrapping his arms around her.

“You’re not worried about being caught with a very pregnant me, by photographers or paparazzi?”

Matthew scowled and asked, “No, why would I? I’ll gladly announce our baby and our relationship. Hell, I want to shout it for the world to see.”

Turning in his arms she asked, “Are you sure? Because everyone will know that you did actually cheat on Vivian with me. That, that part of the story was true.”

“Honestly, I’ve pretty much already admitted to it. After it all came out they did ask about you. I told them you where my best friend and childhood sweetheart. I’m pretty sure I may have thrown around the word soulmate,” Matthew confessed chuckling. “So, I doubt anyone will be surprised if you resurfaced pregnant. Or that we are together. And if they are I don’t care. It’s not important.”

Y/n bite her lip and smiled up at him. “I really love you.”

“I know… so, what where you thinking about wearing?”

*****

They had decided to eat lunch at the food court, before tracking down the photo booth. Y/n choose Chinese food, while Matthew opted for pizza. As they sat and ate there lunch, Matthew figured it would be a good time to discuss how they were going to work things out. Clearly, he wanted her to move back to California with him, but they hadn’t discussed it and he wasn’t sure if it was something she wanted to do.

“So… I was wondering if you planned to stay here or…?”

“I don’t know. Did you want me to stay here?” He gave her a look like he thought she might be stupid and she chuckled. “I’ll take that look as a no.”

“I mean, I don’t want you to come if you don’t want to… but I would prefer if you did. I’ll miss you and more of the baby if you don’t.”

Reaching across the table, Y/n grabbed one of Matthew’s hands and squeezed it reassuringly. “I want to come home.” 

Matthew smiled and lifted up from his seat, just enough to be able to lean across the table and give her a gentle kiss. When he sat back down, he chuckled and said, “you taste like orange chicken.” 

Y/n just licked her lips and said, “I’ll have to find another low budget woman’s clinic in L.A. that does pregnancy care.”

Matthew paused with his pizza half way to his mouth. “Is that all you do now? You don’t have an actual doctor?”

“Well, the place I go has some nurse practitioners, but no I don’t have an actual doctor. I don’t have insurance and I’m still trying to figure out how to get Medicaid.”

Matthew just slow blinked in disbelief and said, “Monday your calling around to doctors. You need a real check up. I’ll pay out of pocket so, don’t even think of arguing. We are also going to get you some insurance. I’ll pay for that too. I’m not going to lie. Hearing all this does kinda annoy me. I understand why you didn’t say anything, but now that I know you’ve just getting minimum pregnancy care… I’m a little concerned.”

Y/n looked down at her plate and quietly pushed her food around, while trying to blink back her tears. She knew he wasn’t trying to be mean, and that he wasn’t really mad at her, but she had tried her best. She was learning as she went along. Nor did she feel like the care she had received was inadequate. “I’m sorry… I was doing my best.”

Noticing that Y/n sounded like she was about to cry, Matthew regretted his harsher tone. “I know that you were doing your best. I’m sorry. It’s just, I hear that and then I worry about the baby and your health. So, can we just agree to head home and find a real, licensed doctor?”

Sighing, Y/n looked up from her plate and nodded, “yeah, we can do that.”

“Y/n, I’m sorry I just sounded like an ass. I’m not upset with you. I just want you both to be healthy and safe. You both mean so much to me… I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you both.”

Y/n saw tears start to form in his eyes and got up from her seat and walked over to stand in front of him. He tilted his head up to look at her as she ran her fingers through his hair and bent to kiss him. When she stood back up he wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head on her chest. “I love you,” she said, her simple words mending the tension. 

“Are you done eating? Let’s go find that photo booth,” suggested Matthew. Y/n smiled down at him and returned his excited smile. Stepping back, she reached out for his hand and they cleaned up their mess and headed out to find the booth. 

*****

“So which one do you want,” Y/n asked, examining the two photo strips, from the passenger seat of Matthew’s car. 

Glancing over, he plucked one from her hand and said with a smile, “the one with me kissing your belly.”

“How did I know that’s the one you were going to pick?”

As, they pulled up to a red light, Matthew pulled down his sun visor, causing another photo to flutter down onto his lap. Picking it up he smiled as he flashed it at her, placed it back in his visor with his photo stripe. 

“I still can believe you stole that from the clinic’s bulletin board.”

“How could I not? You’re so beautiful in it.”

“Flattery will only get you so far, Gube.”

“Not flattery, if it’s the truth,” he said. “So… I’m going to have to head back to L.A. no latter the tomorrow evening. I wasn’t sure how you wanted to do this. I know you’re planing on moving back with me, but did you want to head back tomorrow?”

“Umm… I mean I’d like to. I really don’t want to be away from you again, but it’s gunna take some time to pack up my things… so I don’t know.”

“Well… you could pack what you’re going to need for the week and we can come back this next weekend and get the rest for your things… if that works for you.”

“Yeah, we can do that,” she said smiling at him, “I like that plan a lot.”

Matthew smiled back at her, as he pulled into their old middle school parking lot. “I’m actually really excited to see our tree. Were we began.”

“Technically, we began with you having your ass handed to you behind the bleachers, but who is splitting hairs.”

“Thanks for reminding me, sweetheart,” Matthew said, sarcastically.

“You’re welcome, Baby,” Y/n replied, grinning at him.

He just chuckled and shook his head as got out of the car. As they walked to their spot, Matthew was hit with a wave of nostalgia. He swallowed back the lump forming in the back of his throat and took her hand and held it as they walked. Y/n glanced over at him and flashed him another smile as she gave his hand a tight squeeze. He thoughts fell to the velvet box in his pocket and he wondered to himself if it was still too soon. Was this the moment he should ask her? Sighing to himself, he decided no. He wanted to wait just a little longer. Once they were settled back home and the excitement of their reunion had past. Part of him was worried if he did it too soon, he would possibly cause her to panic and scare her off.

“What wrong? You’re all quiet and you just let out the biggest sigh.”

“What? Oh, nothing. I’m good. Over the top happy,” he said, before leaning down to steal a quick kiss. 

When they approached the tree Y/n let go of his hand and moved around to the back of the trunk and traced her fingers of their initials. “You know, I’m surprised we never got in trouble for carving into the tree.”

Matthew chuckled and said, “me too actually. I was totally expecting to be called into the office.” He then pulled out his phone and motioned her to stand next to him. The arranged themselves so that both of their faces and the carving would be visible in the photo. Tilting the camera up so he could also work in her belly, Matthew said, “smile, Baby,” and took the picture.

*****

Once they made it back to Benny’s, Y/n excused herself to the bathroom while Matthew sat on the couch next to Ziggy.

“Where is Benny,” Matthew asked, watched the other man pick a controller and turn on the game system.

“He had to go do a work thing. Some kind of emergency at the site. You want to play,” he asked, holding out the other controller.

“Uh… sure. For a little bit,” his eyes darted to the bathroom door and back. “What are we playing?”

“Benny calls it DOA. It’s a fighting game. I’ve become completely addicted. You’ll like it though. Tits everywhere.”

“I don’t really know how to play.”

“Oh, it’s super easy… just mash all the buttons. That’s what I do.”

Chuckling, Matthew nodded and said, “I’ll give it a try.” 

Just as they had picked their characters and the game began, Matthew’s attention was pulled from the screen in front of him, when the bathroom door opened and Y/n appeared.

“I’m going to quickly pack a little suitcase. I’ll be right back.”

Starting to rise from his seat, Matthew asked, “do you need any help?”

“No, sit. Stay and play with Zig. I’ll call for you if I need you,” she said, as she started to head to her room.

Matthew let his eyes follow her retreat, with grin on his face. “Hey, Y/n,” he called out just as she was about to disappear through the door.

Taking a couple steps backwards she asked, “ yeah?”

“I love you.” 

Y/n smiled brightly at him and replied, “I love you, too!”

“Oh, hey,” he called out again.

Once she stepped back and ask, “yeesss?”

“Pack a bathing suite. We can do some night swimming at the pool.”

“Ok, will do. Now is there anything else?”

“No, I just wanted to see you back your ass up one more time,” he said, bouncing his eyebrows at her a toothy grin.

Y/n just shook her head and chuckled, but slapped her ass before she disappeared into the room, causing Matthew laughing. When he turned back around to the tv, he suddenly pouted. “Awww, I’m dead already?”

“Got keep your eye on the prize my friend,” Ziggy said, teasingly.

“I pretty sure that’s what I was doing,” Matthew said, glancing back at Y/n’s bedroom door.

Ziggy just smiled at his friend. “I’m really happy for you two. I haven’t seen either one of you this happy in a long time.”

“Thanks, Zig. I think we are finally in a good place. Can… can I show you something? You would have to promise not to tell Y/n.”

“Ugh, more secrets?”

“Yes… but a good one,” he turn to look at her door again, as he dug out the velvet box from his pocket. “They where my grandparent’s rings. My mom gave them to me last night.”

“Dude! When are you going to ask her? I’m kinda surprised you haven’t already, to be honest.”

“Shhh! I’m waiting for the right moment. I want us to get home and settled down. I worried if I ask her too soon, she will freak out. What do you think,” Matthew asked, in a quiet voice, slipping the ring box back into his pocket.

“I mean… I-,” Ziggy started to say, but was interrupted by the front door opening. “Hey! You’re back,” he said excitedly, standing to great his boyfriend. 

They shared a quick kiss and as they pulled away Benny noticed Matthew sitting on the couch. “You guys are back already?”

”Umm, yeah. She had to pack a bag for the week.”

“For the week?”

“Yup, she is going back with me, tomorrow. But we will be back at the end of the week.”

“So what? You just come here and wisp away my sister just like that?” Matthew’s eyes widened at Benny’s annoyed tone and he started to open and close his mouth unable to come up with a response. Ziggy started to chuckle, causing Matthew to give him a confused look.

It was at this point that Y/n wandered into the room, asking, “Benny? Is that you?” When she saw everyone’s expressions, she raised an eyebrow in question. When none of boys answered her, she asked, “what did miss? Because it feels awkward as fuck in here.”

“Oh, well… Benny here, is trying to scare Matthew, by pretending to be angry that you’re leaving with him.”

“Aww, Babe you ruined my fun,” Benny whined at Ziggy.

“Wait… so you’re not mad? We are good?”

Walking over to her boyfriend laughing, Y/n said, “he is totally pulling your leg. He has been waiting for me to leave and go back to Cali. I can hear him and Ziggy whispering through the walls. He wants to move there as well, so they can live together.”

Matthew just clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes as he pulled his laughing girlfriend down onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a quick peek and said, “I’m almost ready. I’m gunna need some help with my suitcase though.”

“Ok, lead the way,” he said, as she slide off his lap and help pulled him up off the couch by on of his hands. As they walk to her room she peeked over her should at him and smirked. Matthew raised his eyebrows to question her, but she just wink in return and turned back around.

When they entered the room, Y/n stop by her bed with her back to him and said, “shut the door and don’t forget to lock it this time.”

“And why am I shutting and locking it? I thought you just needed help with your bag,” he asked, but still doing as she instructed. He watched as she shut and zip up her luggage. She then easily lifted it and placed it by her night stand. 

“Come here.”

Matthew swallowed nervously, not quite sure what she was up to. Had she over heard him talking to Ziggy about the ring?

“Drop your pants and sit in the bed. I got an incredible urge to give you blow job and I’m acting on it… so sit.”

Looking back at the door, Matthew whispered, “your brother is right outside and I’m pretty sure he could kick my ass.”

“Then I guess you better stay quiet then, huh,” said with a giggle. “Now drop’m and sit.”

Smiling and shaking his head, Matthew quickly undid his pants and walked over to her bed. Before sliding his pants down his legs and settling down on her mattress, he asked, “why did you want to do this again?”

When Y/n dropped down in front of him, his eyes followed her movement. She then swiftly tugged his pants down and shoved him so he stumbled back onto her bed. “You’re asking a lot of questions for a guy about to get his dick sucked, but as for you question… I don’t know. Blame it on the pregnancy hormones. Now, do us a favor and lift,” she said grasping at the bottom of his boxers. She waited for him to raise up his hips, before she pulled down his underwear and ran her hands slowly up his thighs. She smirked at him from her place between his legs, before she took his half hardened dick into her hand.

Bowing her head, Y/n started to kiss and nip his thighs, causing Matthew to release a shaky gasp. Leaning back, he rested on his elbows and watched as she worked her way up. 

“Remember, you have to be very quiet.”

“I can be quiet… maybe,” he said chuckling.

“We will see,” she said, before swiping her tongue up the bottom- side of his cock, from the base to the tip. Matthew’s head tipped back, as he pressed his lips together to muffle a groan. Y/n smiled to herself, before she twirled her tongue around the head and sucked it into her mouth.

Matthew’s head popped back up to watch as she started to twist and bob her head. He hissed and his eyes fluttered as he wove a hand through her hair. “Fuck, baby… you feel so good.” 

Y/n chuckled around his cock, when one of his legs started to twitch. His quieted noises only pushed her further. Part of her kinda wanted to make him loss control. It almost felt like it had became a game and judging from the look in his eyes, they were on the same page. So, as she took him deeper, she hummed. It only caused him to bite his bottom lip in determination, but also to tighten the grip he had on her hair. Deciding it was time to upped the ante, Y/n slipped a hand beneath Matthew’s shirt and scraped her nails down his chest and stomach. 

Matthew grunted as he tried not to buck his hips. “Fuck! Y/n you’re playing dirty… better watch out…oh…shit…or I will- ahhhh,” Matthew tried to warn, but Y/n began to deep throat him and his ability to communicate was momentarily lost.

Y/n knew she was winning, but didn’t want the game to end just yet, so she lifted her head up and released his dick with a pop. “All is fair in love and blow jobs,” she said, as she smiled at him sweetly and slowly pumped his cock in her hand. It was at this point that she slide her other hand beneath her leggings and through her wet folds. “You said I’d better watch out…mmm… or what,” Y/n asked, as she sank two fingers into her pussy and began to pump them to the same rhythm she was using on his cock.

Matthew’s eyes had closed the moment he had hit the back of her throat, but he opened them now, only to notice the way her left shoulder was moving. He started to sit up, Y/n let go of him and pressed against his chest.

“Stay,” she said firmly.

Matthew narrowed eyes and licked his lips, but did as he demanded. “What you doing with that other hand,” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not really any of your business,” she said, matter-of-factly. She then slowly pulled her hand back down his body, and once more began to move it up and down his erection. As she focused her attention to the head of his cock, by spitting on the tip and twisting a closed fist around it, Matthew started to grunt lowly, as his hips started to jerk and he clutched the sheets.

“If you do stop playing dirty, I will not hesitate to plow you into this mattress. I don’t give a fuck who is on the other side of that door. You will be the one making all the noises, as you scream my name and beg for more, Baby,” he warned, through clenched teeth.

Y/n just chuckled and said, “we’ll see about that.” In response, Matthew just did that cute little nose twitch he does, that she loves so much. She would not let him win. So, she suddenly sucked him into her mouth and quickly worked him back down her throat. Every time she got most of his length down, she would hold it there as long as she could, and either swallow around or hum against the head. She watched from beneath her lashes, as her man came completely unglued.  
Just when she thought he was about to completely lose it she would back off and slowly bob her head up and down or remove him from her mouth completely and just use her hand. Every time, she was rewarded with his desperate whimpers and pleas. 

“Please… Baby… please. I’m so close. Stop teasing, Y/n. You win honey… please. Let me cum or let fuck you…. Oh god…. ahhh…. Sweetheart… I need to feel you, Baby.”

Just as he started to calmed down, she took pity on him and once again, took in his whole length. “Oh Fuck! Y/n… Shit… ahhh… ahhh… yes, Baby! Fuck… yeah, like that! Oh god… oh god… your mouth feels so fucking good, sweetheart,” Matthew rambled loudly, as he could no longer control himself. When he final tipped over the edge, his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth hung open as he whimpered and gasped, spilling himself down her throat..

Y/n, who had been also working herself this entire time, took the opportunity to pull her fingers from her drenched pussy and run her wet fingers along his bottom lip, before slipping them into his mouth. Matthew reflexively, sucked on the digits and moaned when he tasted the sweet, tangy favorite he had grown to crave over the last year. 

After licking him clean, Y/n pulled her fingers from his mouth and sat back on her heals. She couldn’t help but feel proud of herself, as she took in the image of her completely recked boyfriend. He was laying down completely drained and breathing heavy with his hair in disarray. Once he started to come down from his high and his lust blown eyes found her face and he licked his lips as is dick twitched against his thigh. She knew that look… he wanted more. 

“Come here,” he said, firmly but softly.

Y/n smiled and crawled onto the bed and sat next to Matthew. Using his arm furthest away from her, he reached up and cupped the back of her head. He then proped up on his elbow, as he pulled her mouth to his and kissed her breathless. He pulled away, he nodded his head in the direction of the head of the bed and said, “Scoot up, Baby. It’s your turn.”

She just shook her head and said, “no thank you. I’m good. But thank you.”

“But you didn’t cum. I know you’re all worked up. I could taste it… which is why you let me have a little sample. Just let me taste you, Baby. I want to make you feel just as good as you just made me feel. Let me take care of you.”

“Really, Babe, I’m ok. I can wait till later. If we do anymore, we will never leave this room. We always have tonight. Let’s just go back to the hotel swim, eat and then you can spend the evening making me feel good.”

Matthew just pouted at her, “Please, Baby? At least let me finger you. I hate the thought of this being one way. I’ll feel like a selfish ass all night.” He then turned on his puppy dog eyes and boyish charm, causing Y/n to chuckle and shake her head as she caved.

“Fine, but put that away,”she said, point to his dick. Which was starting to harden again. “If you don’t you know we will end up fucking. We always do.” Matthew just laughed as he got up and pulled up his boxers and pants, fastening them shut, before crawling back on to the bed next to Y/n. She had move to the head of the bed and he laid down along her side. He then helped her push her legging just far enough down her thighs that he had easy access to her pussy. 

As he began to slowly kiss her his hand moved down to first cup her mound, before he let his fingers slip past her folds. He ran his fingers up and down her pussy, before momentarily concentrating on her clit. He started a steady pace as he rubbed circles around the little bundle of nerves. As he worked her, she started to breath heavily and her legs began to tremor. Matthew decided that was a good time to change it up, so he moved his hand down and slowly pushed two of his fingers within her. Y/n moaned as he stretched her and started to pump his fingers in and out. “Does that feel good, Baby?”

Y/n hummed and nodded her head. She licked her lips, before making a request, “faster Matthew.” She bite her bottom lip, as did as he was asked. Her hips started to roll and buck in time with his rhythm, desperately trying increase the friction. 

As she began to moan louder, Matthew chuckled and said, “god, I love the sounds you make, but you got to quiet down, Sweetheart.”

“Says the man who- ahhh… who was just screaming and begging, himself.”

Matthew chuckled again, “that’s fair.” He began to apply pressure to her clit with the heal of his hand and bent his fingers inside her and started to strum against her sweet spot. Y/n hips raised off the mattress as she got even louder. Matthew pulled her lips to his in a attempt to quiet her down, but she was so lost in the pleasure he was giving her, she could barely concentrate on kissing him back. As she reached her climax, she tightly grip the wrist of the hand pushing her over the edge and fought to keep her eyes locked on his. “You’re so beautiful like this,” he quietly, mumbled to her, as he watch her ride out her pleasure. “I love you so much, Y/n,” he said, as he started kissing her face and neck.

When she finally came down, her breath was labored and her body sagged into the mattress. Her eye fluttered open, only to find Matthew’s coffee colored eyes watching her lovingly. In a breathless voice, she said, “hi.”

He smiled sweetly down at her and said, “hi. You feel better now?”

“Oh yes!”

“I can’t wait to watch you come undone like that for the rest of our lives. You’re so beautiful.”

She smiled shyly and reached up and pushed his hair out of his face, “I love you, Matthew Gubler.”

He gave her a million watt smile and dipped down to capture her lips once more. When he pulled away he hummed to himself as he hopped out of the bed. “You wanna get out of here?”

Sitting up and getting out of bed, Y/n pulled her leggings back up and stretched. “Yeah, let head back to the hotel. Though can we find a way to sneak out the window, because even I’m scared to go out there.”

Matthew walked over her and straighten out her shirt and kissed her cheek before bending to grab her bag, “let’s go face the music.”

“Hey, maybe they didn’t even hear anything.” Matthew just stoped at the door and gave her a look that asked, “seriously?”

“Yeah, you’re right… they heard everything.”

Taking a deep breath, Matthew open the door and stepped out of the room. Looking around he didn’t see Benny or Ziggy anywhere. Y/n peeked out from behind him and whispered, “maybe they left. Quick let’s get out of here.”

Unfortunately, just as they were about to slip out the front door, they both jumped when Benny startle them when he stepped out of the kitchen and said, “Y/n, just so you know, I’ll be sending my therapy bill to my new rich, future brother-in-law. Also, when and if you ever get a bigger place, talk to me first. For the sanity of my niece or nephew, I’m willing to install free sound proofing to either your room or their’s. I’ll see you next weekend. Love you. And you. You take care of her. Don’t let her do anything stupid.” 

Matthew just nodded his head and said, “yeah… of course.” 

Y/n started to make her way over to Benny to give him a hug, but he put his hands up and took a step back. “I know where your hands and mouth have been. I also know you haven’t washed them. So if it’s cool, I’ll pass. Air hug,” he said, mimicking the motion of a hug. “Love you, sis.”

“Ok… you’re right. I love you, too. I’ll call you when we get to L.A. tomorrow.” 

Waving goodbye, they headed back to their room to order in dinner and enjoy an evening swim.


	16. Part 16

The next morning, Y/n woke up before Matthew and quietly dressed. While he slept, she ordered breakfast and coffee, she was hoping to be able to sneak in a quick cup before he woke. As she waited for the food to arrive, she sat in quiet contemplation. The last two days had gone by really fast and now her whole life was going to be uprooted and changed all around. Hopefully, for the good, this time. She was excited to be returning home, but part of her was still worried. What if they still didn’t work out? She really didn’t think that could happen, but part of her was waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was just going to smoothly.

Sighing, Y/n tried to push her darker thoughts to the back of her mind, as not to stress herself out. She was so lost in thought she didn’t here Matthew slip out of bed and walk up behind her.

“Hey, what are you doing out here? I’m sad when I wake up and you’re not there. I was very lon-,” he was cut off by a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it,” Y/n said, quickly popping up from the couch, but Matthew pushed down on her shoulder and squinted suspiciously at her.

“I’ll get it,” he pointed at her, as he slipped on his robe and headed for the door, “you are definitely up to something.”

“Its just breakfast, Matthew.”

He smiled at her and pulled the door open. Turning he was greeted by a room service attendant, whom had a cart of covered plates and two cups of coffee. Matthew couldn’t help, but chuckle loudly when he saw the second cup. He now knew she was trying to sneak in the caffeinated beverage and he had to admit, he thought it was kinda cute. He would let her have it, but not without giving her a hard time. He tipped the attendant and wheeled the cart back into the room.

See, I told you it was just breakfast,” Y/n said, smiling innocently.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. You were just acting so weird. Oh, thanks for getting me two cups of coffee. That was really sweet of you, Baby.”

“Oh… yeah. I uh, thought you might want a second cup. Keep you nice and alert for the drive home,” she agreed, laughing nervously. 

Matthew could hear a note of disappointment in her voice. Smiling to himself he picked one of the cups and silently walked it to her. “One in a blue moon won’t hurt. I’m sorry, I was an ass about it the other day. You shouldn’t have to be sneaky about it” 

Y/n looked at him with widened eyes, as though she was trying to determine if he was pulling her leg. She decided he was being sincere, but grabbed the cup quickly, just in case he changed him mind. With the first sip, relief flooded her body and moaned in delight. “Oh, thank god! You have no idea how bad I needed this coffee. I probably would have cried as you drank it.”

Matthew just chuckled and dipped down and stole a quick kiss. “All I can say is, I couldn’t do it. Just cut off coffee like that. You deserve a cup here and there. So… what are we having for breakfast,” he asked, as he walked over to the cart and removed the lids. “French toast and fruit! Wow, these are huge strawberries. Do you see these things?”

Y/n smiled at Matthew’s child-like excitement over the above average berries. “I even got some bacon, see,” she said pointing. She then took another sip of coffee and hummed, letting her eyes slid shut. “Oh… that’s almost as good as sex.”

“Shit, thanks!”

“I said almost. Sex with you is much higher up on the chart, then this coffee. Don’t worry,” she said, reaching over to cart to grab a blueberry and popping it into her mouth.

“Better be! If you would have stayed that cute ass of yours in bed this morning, we could have tested the theory.”

“I mean… after I finish this cup and my breakfast, we still could. That is if you’re up for it?”

“Sweetheart, I’m always up for you. You would think after all these years you would know it,” he said, laughing as he handed a plate to her and sat down to eat next to her.

When they both were finish with their food and coffee, they clumsily made their way back to the bed and tested out their theory. Turns out sex was definitely way better then the coffee.

******  
After a well-deserved nap, Matthew called his mom to let her know that they were going to be heading home that evening.

“Have you asked her yet?”

Matthew looked over his shoulder, to catch Y/n with earbuds in and dancing around, as she packed up their bags. He smiled to himself and responded, “no, not yet, but soon. I want to get settled at home first.”

“I better be the first to know. I don’t want to find out through an interview.”

“Again mom, that wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know Vivian was going to do that.”

“Either way, I expect a call. Anyway, what time do you two plan to head out of town? Do you have time to go out for lunch?”

“Uh, yeah. I think we have time. I figured we would leave around three or four, but we can go to lunch and then head out after.”

“Let’s meet at the Honey Salt around 1:30.”

“Sure, thing mom, sounds good. We’ll see you there. Love you.”

“Love you, too. See you soon.”

Matthew disconnected from the call and walked over to Y/n. She was in her own little world, swaying to her music as she sung to herself and tried to find a place in the luggage for their dirty clothes. She was so focus on her task that she didn’t even notice him standing behind her. Matthew took the moment to watch her. She was standing at the side of the bed in a pair of sweatpants, that sat low on her hips, and a sports bra. Her posture was relaxed and slightly slouched, accentuating her bump. He smiled to himself at the sight. He couldn’t wait to watch her tummy grow. Unable to keep his hands off her any longer, Matthew stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Y/n jumped a little, in surprise and removed her ear buds. She turned in his arms and draped her’s over his shoulder. “Hey, what are you up to?”

Matthew chuckled as he nuzzled his face into her neck and started placing small kisses before saying, “Not much. Just watching a beautiful lady.”

“Oh, did the maid come to clean. I must have missed her. She didn’t do a very good job, either,” she said, as she giggled because his scruff was tickling her neck.

Pulling away from her neck, Matthew cut his eyes at her, and warned, “you better stop that. You are gorgeous! Like really, really gorgeous. I don’t know how to make you see what I see. You literally take my breath away! I was just thinking about how I couldn’t wait to see your belly grow. I think this,” laying his hand on her belly, “is the most beautiful you’ve ever been to me. That fact that you are growing a fucking person is so awesome and unbelievably sexy. You’re amazing! I mean it, so stop… please.”

Y/n blushed as she nodded her head in agreement, “ok… I’ll stop. But let it be said, that I will remind you of your words when my ankles and feet swell up, making me look like I have that elephant disease. Or when I get so big, I look like a beached whale.”

“Well, when that happens, I promise to rub lotion on you elephant feet and spritz you with water, Willy. I can guarantee one thing though… I’ll still find you beautiful and still want you crazy bad. As it is I can barley keep my hands off you.”

Y/n chuckled and agreed, “yeah, I can tell.”

He just smiled at her and changed the subject, “so I was just talking to my mom. She wants us to meet her at the Honey Salt at 1:30. We are gunna head out of town after.”

Y/n glanced at her watch and quickly pulled away from Matthew. “Well, we need to get ready. It’s already noon.” She quickly dug threw her bag and selected some clothes before heading towards the bathroom. “Once you’re dressed can you finish packing? I’m gunna hop in the shower really quick.”

“Yeah, sure. I got it.”

“Cool… oh and Matthew?”

“Yeah, Babe?”

“Call me Willy again and there will be pain,” Y/n warned, with a sickly-sweet smile.

“Duly noted… no Free Willy references.”

*****

They had a really pleasant lunch with Marilyn. It wasn’t as awkward, as you would’ve assumed it to be, considering what happened the last time they all saw each other. They said their goodbyes and were on the road by three. 

The drive was pretty uneventful. As they spent most of it playing the license plate game and singing to music. The drive it self, took around four and a half hours, but would have been sooner if they didn’t have to stop for Y/n to pee three times. After the third stop, Matthew joked and said she wasn’t aloud anymore water until they got home, but all she had to do was pout and he handed the bottle back over to her. 

It was a little after seven- thirty, when they pulled into the apartment parking garage. Matthew had noticed that the closer they got to home, the quieter Y/n became. As he parked his car, he reached over and cupped her face and asked, “you ok, Babe?”

Y/n smiled at him and just nodded her head, before unbuckling and climbing out of the car. She then moved to the trunk and waited for Matthew to pop it, but when he reached the back of the car, she was staring off towards the entrance of the parking garage. “Y/n… what’s up?”

She turned back towards him and apologized, “I’m sorry… sorry, I was just thinking about how last time I was here to gate was covered with the paparazzi. It’s just been so long since I’ve been here. It just feels weird. I didn’t think I’d ever see this place again.”

Matthew reached out and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her body. She slipped her own around his narrow waist. With her arms around him and her cheek pressed to his chest, Y/n was starting to feel better. “We will be together forever, right? We will never split up again? Because I don’t think I’d be able to handle it.”

“Look at me,” he gently requested, waiting for her to lift her gaze, “only death itself could drag me from you. You’re it. You always have been. I’ve just been waiting for you to realize it. We are going to grow old and grey together. Causing mayhem in the senior living community center and breaking our hips doing the nasty. Don’t worry, Baby. There is nothing in our way this time… I promise.”

Y/n smiled up at him and sighed, “ok…. I have to pee. Can we go inside now?”

Matthew threw is head back in laughter and gave her a quick squeeze, before letting her go and popping the trunk. He then handed her the keys and said, “head on up. I’ll get the bags.”  
She gave him a quick kiss before scurrying off towards the elevator. “Hey! Excuse the mess… I was kinda… down and not in the mood to really do a lot of cleaning before I left. I wasn’t exactly expecting to be bring you home either.”

She just smiled and rolled her eyes as the elevator closed and carried her to the second floor. When the lift opened, she quickly made her way to their apartment and opened the door. It literally smelled like a boy’s locker room. She reached over and switched on the light, causing her eyes to widen. A little messy her ass. It looked like he hadn’t cleaned it in the last five months she had been gone. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath (which she quickly regretted,) and headed for the bathroom. 

When she came out, Matthew looked up and he was clearly embarrassed. “It was worse than I remembered and I didn’t realize it smelled this bad in here. I’m so sorry. I opened some window and I’m cleaning as we speak,” he speedily said, as he scooped up the dirty clothes scattered everywhere.

Walking over to him, she put a gentle hand on his forearm, and said, “Hey, it’s ok. You should have seen me before I was force to pull myself together. I was a reck too. It’s ok. Anyways, it my fault you were hurting so long. I should have told you sooner.”

Matthew dropped the dirty clothes he was holding, before pulling her closer to him, “no… it’s not your fault. I don’t blame you. I let it get this way. I’m sorry. I was… I guess, I was a little depressed. But I’m going to take care of all of this. Just let me clean up the couch and you can sit and watch tv while I clean.” He then released her and moved to the couch.

Y/n turned, following his movements. Sighing, she headed to the kitchen to grabbed trash bags. 

“Y/n? Where you going,” Matthew asked as she walked out of the room. When she returned with a box of garbage bags, he shook his head and said, “No… this isn’t your mess. I’m gunna clean it. Look I got a spot for you. Come sit, Baby.”

“No, you have cleaned up so many of my messes. I’ve actually lost count. And whether or not you want to blame me, I did play a part in you getting depressed enough for this,” she indicated the room, “to happen. So… no. I’m not going to sit, while you clean. We will do this together, because that’s what you would do for me.” She walked over to him and reached up to cup his face. She brushed a stray tear from his from he’s cheek bone and whispered, “I love you. We are in it together now.”

Matthew nodded his head and sniffled as she slid her hand around the back of his head and pulled his lips to hers. When they pulled away, he rested his forehead on hers and whispered, “have I told you how much I love you?”

Smiling up at him she replied, “only a million times a day.” She reached up and rubbed his face again and said, “I’ll bag up all the clothes. You start on those dishes in the kitchen, because no matter how much I love you, that’s where I draw the line.”

Matthew laughed and said, “yes ma’am,” and headed off to do as she commanded.

*****

It was around ten when they got the apartment clean enough to comfortably relax for the even. So, they ordered some pizza and settled down to watch late night reruns as they ate. 

“I have to head to the studio in the morning. Did you want to come with me or hang out here and try to make some doctor calls?”

“Umm…. I think I’ll stay here. I’m not sure I’m quite ready to face everyone at the studio. Plus, I’ll do some laundry and finish cleaning between calls. Is that ok?”

“Yeah, no that sounds good. I’d probably just be too distracted if you were there anyways.” 

“Maybe I can come see you for lunch some day this week.”

“Yeah, I like that idea.” 

Y/n nodded her head as she yawned. “I think I’m gunna head to bed. It’s been a long day. Did you want to come with me or were you going to stay up a little longer?”

“No, I’m pretty tired. Let me just put up the food and I’ll meet you in there.”

Y/n got up and stretched and said, “sounds good,” and headed off to get ready for bed while Matthew cleaned up.

By time he had gotten to the room, Y/n had already changed into her pajamas and was pulling back the comforter. Matthew went over to his dresser and began to change when he heard Y/n gasp and place her hand on her bump. 

“You ok?”

“Oh,” she exclaimed, as a large smile spread across her face and she spun to face Matthew. “Oh my god, quick,” she said, excitedly waving him over. When he reached her, she snatched his hand and placed it over the spot she just had hers. 

A few moments passed, and nothing happened. Confused, Matthew asked, “I don’t get it. What are w-,” then he felt it. It was weak, but from the inside of her belly came the smallest tap. Matthew, gasped and then chuckled, staring at Y/n in amazement. Then he dropped down to his knees in front of her and said, “hey, little bean! What you doing in there? Mommy and daddy are so happy that you said hi! We love you small stuff.” He then looked up at Y/n with a toothy grin and said, “I can’t believe she kicked! She is so strong!”

Y/n just giggled, as she wiped away some happy tears. “So, you think it’s a girl?”

Standing, he shrugged and replied, “I don’t know, but she just feels right.”

As they climbed into bed, Matthew curled his body behind Y/n’s and once again, placed his hand upon the spot they felt their baby kick. It was the happiest night of both their lives and as they feel asleep, they both knew that everything had finally fallen into place.

******

The next morning, Y/n woke to the wonderful feeling of Matthew still wrapped tightly around her and the not so wonderful sound of Matthew’s phone incisively ringing. 

“Babe, get the phone,” Y/n said, sleepily. When he only snuggled closer and mumbled something she couldn’t understand, against the back of her neck, she sighed and grabbed the phone off the night stand.

“Hello,” she asked, sounding tired and annoyed.

“Gube-man, where the f- wait! Who is this? Did I call the right number? Yeah, I did…. Wait. Y/n?”

“Hi Shemar. Let me wake him, hold on.” Y/n turned in Matthew’s arms and gently shook on his shoulder. “Baby, you need to wake up. I think you might be late for work. Shemar’s on the phone.”

Matthew’s eyes suddenly shot open as he jumped for the bed, “fuck, I forgot to set alarm…”

“Matthew...”

“They are goin to be so pissed…”

“MATTHEW!” He turned to Y/n and saw her holding out his phone to him. “Shemar, he is on the phone.”

“Oh shit, sorry,” he said, taking the phone from her as he dug through his draw. “Hey man, I’m sorry. I got a little-.”

“Is that Y/n?”

“Uh… yeah. Anyways I got a little distracted when we were getting ready for bed and forgot to set an alarm.”

“Yeah, I bet you did. Look I’ll make an excuse. I’ll tell them that dumpster on wheels you drive, needed a jump.”

“Thanks man! I really owe you one. See you soon,” Matthew said, but before he could hang up, his friend called to him.

“Matthew! Don’t get distracted again.”

“No that’s n-,” he tried to explain, but all he could hear was Shemar’s laughter, before the call disconnected. Shaking his head, he hurriedly got dressed. 

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah, just late. Shemar is gunna try to cover for me though. I think he thinks I’m late due use being up all night.”

“I mean we did do that the night before last, so it’s not completely out of the realms of possibilities,” she said, laughing.

“I guess that’s true. I’m gunna miss you today,” he said, as he sat next to her and slipped on a ducky sock and then a banana one.

“I’ll miss you, too,” she agreed, leaning over to steal a kiss, before he got up and headed to the bathroom to finish getting ready. Stretching, she got up as well, and made her way to the kitchen where, as if it were just yesterday, resumed her usual morning routine of making him a bagel and coffee.

While she was waiting for the coffee to brew, a thought popped into her mind and she turned to look at the kitchen medicine cabinet. Walking over, she pulled it open and peered inside. Sure enough, tucked into the back corner was her unfinished pack of birth control. Reaching in, she grabbed it and pulled it out, quietly laughing to herself.

“What’s so funny,” Matthew asked, as he poured some coffee into a cup and started to fix it the way he liked.

Turning she flapped the package of pills in front of her, before tossing them onto the counter in front of him. He paused a moment and chuffed in amusement. 

Turning to face her, he took a sip of his coffee before saying, “I’m not going to lie. I’m kinda happy you forgot them. I think it’s one of the best things to happen to us.”

Pushing off the counter, Y/n padded across the small kitchen to stand in front of her best friend. His hand instinctively sprawled across her small belly, before sliding around to her lower back to pull her closer. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she tilted her held back to look into his coffee-colored eyes. “I have to say… that I agree.” 

Matthew smiled down at Y/n and placed his cup down to slide his now free hand into her hair and bent to kiss her slowly and gently. When his tongue brushed across her bottom lip, she moaned and parted them, allowing him to explore her mouth with his tongue. As their kiss became heated and passionate, he echoed her moan and spun them.

Y/n, catching on quickly, let her hands drop to the fastenings of his pants and quickly undid them, while he pushed her silk pajamas bottoms and panties down her legs. “You’re already late.”

“I’ll just say I got distracted,” he said, before pulling her into another frenzied kiss. Pulling away from her mouth, he spun her, so her back was to him. “Lean over the counter, spread your legs a little, and stick the gorgeous ass out.” 

“Yes, Sir,” she said in a sultry voice. The way he was making demands made her pussy throb. His deep chuckle, that followed her response, only made it worse. She was expecting him to start fingering her or just rub his cock threw her folds to spread her moisture, so when he dropped down and licked her from clit to ass she jumped in surprise and squeaked. 

Matthew worked her quickly and deliberately. It didn’t take him long before he had her legs quivering, while she loudly begged for release. Just as she was about cum, he quickly stood and spit in his hand and used it to give his cock a couple pumps, before lining it up with her entrance and swiftly pushing in. He didn’t really give Y/n much time to adjust to his size as he gripped her hips and began to frantically piston in and out of her. 

Y/n was trying to find anything to hold onto and Matthew completely recked her… but in a good way. “OH… FUCK…. FUCK! MATTHEW.... YES!” The closer she got to cumming, the less she was able to even form words and all she was left with was high pitch squeals, whimpers and grunts. 

“Ahhh… god, Baby…. I love the… fuuuck… the noises you make when I’m inside you.” Reaching forward, he grabbed her shoulder, pulling her up so she was standing upright with her back flush to him. 

The new angle caused her to have raise up on her toes as Matthew thrusted behind her. She was so close and when the hand on her hips loosened and slipped around to find her clit, her body first clenched and then began to spasm as she teetered over the edge.

“Yes, Baby… let me feel you cum on my dick. You feel so-… ahhhh…. ahhhh … so fucking good, shit… Y/n …. ahh... ahh...ahhh,” Matthew ramble, as he filled her with his cum.

Once they had both calmed down, they felt like they could melt to the floor, but Matthew didn’t have time for that and as though she could read his mind she said, “you’re so late. You really need to go.”

Matthew whined as he carefully pulled out of her. As he started redressing, Y/n pulled her pants back up and leaned heavily on the counter. Swallowing nervously, he stated, “was I too rough. I didn’t hurt anything, right? I’ve been trying to be gentler, but I got really into it, just then.”

Seeing his worried look, Y/n was quick to reassure him, “if at anytime you’re doing something that’s hurting me or if I think it will hurt the baby I’ll let you know. You’re fine really. It was amazing. But now is not the time for this, you got to go.”

“Ok! Ok! I’m going!” He leaned it and gave her a kiss. “I’ll call you on my lunch break.”

“Ok, talk to you then.” He stole one more kiss before he hurried out the door. 

Once he was gone, Y/n set a two-hour alarm and crawled back into bed for a little more sleep.

*****

When Matthew pulled into the studio lot, he quickly parked his car and ran into building. Once inside he rushed to the makeup and costume departments and got ready for his day. 

He had yet to see any of his cast members, but he knew when he did, there would be a lot of questions. Matthew had no doubt that Shemar has already told everyone that Y/n had answered his phone. This suspicion was confirmed, upon entering the props department, when Kathryn bum rush him at the door.

“Shemar said she is back. Is she ok?”

“Yeah… yeah, she is back and she is great. More then great. She has been clean for awhile. Really healthy. She… um, well she is pregnant, actually.”

Kathryn just stared and him in shock. “She... wait, when did that happen? Were you two secretly meeting up? I don’t understand. Is it even yours?”

Matthew made an offended face and said, “Yes! Of course, it’s mine. We hooked up the night before she left. Apparently, that’s when it happened. I just found out myself two days ago.”

“So, she is far along then…,” he could see her doing the math in her head, “at five months.”

“She is 16 weeks this week. So, I guess second trimester.”

“Does this mean you two are together now? Is she visiting or staying?”

“Yes, we are together. Like together, together. We have to go back to Vegas to get the rest of her things this weekend, but yeah, she is here to stay.”

Kathryn suddenly squealed and she jump and down, excitedly clapping her hands. Then before he knew it, she had wrapped him up in a tight hug. “Oh! Ok… yay,” he said awkwardly.

Kathryn released him and laughed, “I’m sorry. I got excited. Congratulations, by the way. Wait, you are happy about it aren’t you?”

For a moment, Matthew got a far away look, as he smiled contently. He gave his head and affirmative nod and said, “I’m over the moon happy.”

“I’ll have to text her. I even talked to her once or twice and she never said anything. She wouldn’t even tell me where she was. Just the she wasn’t drinking and she was ok, but I was still worried about her. Do you know when we will be able to see her? I bet she one of those tiny cute as a button pregnant girl.”

Matthew just laughed and nodded, “yeah, I think she is adorable. As for seeing her, I think she is still nervous about seeing everyone, but she did mention coming to spend lunch with me sometime this week.”

“Well, I can’t wait. You should go though. Before you get yourself in any more trouble. I think they are on stage 3.”

“Sweet! Thanks, Kathryn. I’ll see you later,” Matthew said with a wave over his shoulder, as he headed off to film.

When he made to the appropriate stage, he could she all his friends standing in a crowd talking. He didn’t know why he was so nervous to approach them, but he was, so he slowly made his way to the group.

“Hey, lover boy! There you are. What took you so long,” teased Shemar, with a knowing smile.

“Omg! Is it true! Is she back and is she officially your honey bee,” asked Kristen.

Matthew blushed a little, as he nervously laughed. “Yeah… you can say that. It’s actually pretty amazing. I’m gunna ask her to marry me soon, I think.”

Shemar pointed at Matthew, and said, “that’s smart, man. Lock it down fast.”

Aj smacked his chest and gave him a disapproving, mom face. “Are you sure you want to rush into it? How is she doing with her dependency? Maybe taking it slow, would be a good idea.”

“Ok so, I’m gunna say it once. She is sober… and she is going to stay clean this time. Nor do I have to marry her to lock it down. Its pretty much locked down, as it is. Getting her back has been a dream come true, it was literally the best birthday in the history of birthdays. Especially, because I got a whole lot more then just my girl back.”

“What’s that supposed to mean,” asked Kristen, sharing a confused look amongst the group.

“Well, the night before she left… we spent it together, and… I kinda… got her pregnant.” The minute he broke the news, his friends started taking, all at once.

“What!?!”

“Oh, for fuck sake! Not again, we talked about the condoms, man!”

“Aww, a baaaaby!”

“Guys... guys, stop! It’s a good thing and we are very happy. I know it a surprised. Imagine how I felt when I turned around and bam… belly.”

“Do you know what you’re having or how far along she is,” Kristen asked, excitedly.

“She is right at six months and so we should find out at the next appointment. We actually felt the baby kick for the first-time last night. Which Shemar, is why I was late. I got distracted before I set my alarm.”

“Yeah, but it also took pretty long to get here,” his friend replied, with a cocky eyebrow and a knowing smile.

Aj laughed and agreed, “He does have a point.”

Matthew just gave them all a frog faced smile, before sighing through his nose and saying, “so… I got distracted. It’s hard when she’s around. What do you want me to say? We are making up for lost time.”

His friends started to laugh when Shemar, smacked him on the back and joked, “I’m sure IT is hard when she is around, Kid.”

“What? No that’s not wh- I mean yeah, but no, that’s not what I was saying.”

Aj still lightly laughing, reassured Matthew, “we know what you meant. If you’re happy, we are happy for you. I think we all knew that, once you two got through the bullshit, everything would work out. Congratulations and let Y/n we are all excited to see her.”

Matthew smiled at his friends. “Thanks guys. It means a lot to me. And she will love hearing that you guys are excited to see her.”

Just as he was about to pull out his phone to show his friends the tree picture from the week end, the director called places. They all went to their separate spots and began their long day of filming.

******

After waking up around eight, Y/n made herself some eggs and toast. It was pretty much all he had in the apartment, so she would take time to run to the store and pick up some groceries. After, finishing her food, she started on the laundry. 

It was going to be monumental task seeing she had the clothes they brought back with them and the bag and a half that she collected from around the apartment. Who would have thought Matthew had so much clothing. Granted, half of what was strewn around was dirty towels. Once she had everything sorted and separated, she packed her first two loads into a rolling hamper, along with Matthew change jar and laundry soap, and made her way to the basement laundry room.

When she returned, she made a mental game plan. She decided she would start with a deep clean of the bathroom then the kitchen. She planned to give the floors and baseboards a good cleaning, as well. 

Y/n couldn’t explain why she felt the need to scrub every nook and cranny of the apartment. Maybe it was a way to wash away the not so pleasant memories she had left here. That and the thought of Vivian. Part of her wishes her and Matthew could just start somewhere new, but she knows that would be asking too much. 

Matthew was already willing to foot her medical expenses. She didn’t have much money left, but what she did have she would use to help out while she could. She really needed to find a job. She was pretty sure she had burned her bridge at the studio, which might be for the best. Now that Matthew and she where together, neither of them would ever get any work down if she worked there. Maybe she could offer art lessons to children. She would run the idea by Matthew and put out an ad tomorrow if he agreed.

Once she was done the bathroom and kitchen, she brought two more loads down and switched the wet to the dryer and put the spoiled into the washers. As, she made her way back up, her stomach started to growl so she checked the time. It was almost noon. It would be a good time to call Matthew and eat some lunch.

Grabbing some water and a slice of pizza, Y/n settled onto the couch and FaceTimed her boyfriend. Just when she thought the call would time out, Matthew answered.

“Hey Babe! Sorry it took me so long. My hands were full. How’s has your day been?”

“You’re good. My day has been busy. I’ve done some laundry and I scrubbed the bathroom and kitchen top to bottom. Sweep and moped. I’m about to go online and order groceries for delivery. You have no food in this apartment,” she sassed, lightly chuckling.

“Hey, I can do that, it sounds like you’ve done a lot today, as it is. If there is anything in particular you want, text it to me. I’ll have it delivered so you don’t have to lug it all in.”

“No, I can do it. I don’t mind. I kinda wanted to pay for it. You know, do my part.”

Matthew just smiled at her and shock his head, “nope, right now your part is to grow our baby. Don’t worry about all that. So, make a list and I’ll make it magically appear.”

“You know, when you say my job is just to grow your baby, you sound super sexist.”

“Please, you know I don’t mean it like that.”

Y/n just laughed and said, “yeah, I know. I’m just fucking with you. So, did you get into a lot of trouble?”

“No, they hadn’t actually started filming yet, but if I had been any later, I probably would have. Kathryn is really excited to see you, by the way. Hell, everyone is. You should come see me for lunch tomorrow.”

“Are you sure everyone is excited to see me?”

“Kristen is through the roof excited about the prospect of there being a baby for her to coo at. Everyone is happy for us. The girls may have even threatened me with bodily harm if I fuck it up again. Those two have been on team Y/n all along.”

“What about Shemar?”

“What about him? He just happy that I’m happy. I know you think he doesn’t like you, but you’re wrong. He likes you.”

“If you say so… so, what are you having for lunch?”

“The burrito. What else?”

“Oh, that does sound good. I am going to go see you for lunch tomorrow. If not for you, then for one of those burritos.”

“Oh, thanks, Babe.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“You make any doctor calls yet?”

“Umm… no. I was planning on doing some digging around when we got off. I’m just not really sure what to look for or what questions to ask.”

“You know what I think you should do? When we hang up call Kathryn. She has done all this before. She is still your sponsor. She is going to want to help you. Hell, she may even know a good doctor off the top of her head.”

Y/n drew in a deep breath and nodded her head. “Ok, yeah. That sounds like a good idea. I’ll do that. So, I’ll send you the list, start another load, and then call Kathryn when I get back up stairs.”

“Well, it sounds like you got the rest of your day planned out… hey, Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“I miss you,” Matthew said, looking at her with his big puppy dog eyes.

She smiled sweetly at him and sincerely said, “I miss you, too.”

“Honestly, I can’t wait to come home and cuddle with you. I don’t even need sex. Just a nice long snuggle.”

“Yeah, that does sound nice, but it’s is okay if it leads to sex, because I for one do need it. Every time I walk in the kitchen, I get wet thinking about this morning.”

Matthew’s smile grew wider and developed a devilish quality to it. “If you need me to fuck you, all you have to do is ask. You know I’m down.”

“Good, because I’m definitely going to need it. But I’m going to have to let that thought fuel me through my day. Which I should get going on. The laundry should be ready the switch out and fold.”

“Ok, Baby. You know you don’t need to finish it all today. You can even leave some for me this weekend. How about you just finish what’s already started make your calls and then take a bath.”

“You run a hard bargain sir, but you’ve convinced me. Bubbly bath it is!”

“Good. I love you and I’ll see you tonight.”

“Love you, too. Oh, and Matthew…”

“Yeah?” Y/n giggled and quickly lifted her shirt and flashed him. Matthew started to choke and sputter, completely unprepared for her to do that. Looking over his shoulder to make sure no one else had seen, he turned back only to see her blow a kiss and disconnect.

******

It was around eleven p.m. when Matthew finally made his way home. He tired to call Y/n to tell her he was on his way, but hadn’t gotten an answer. So, he was little worried as he rushed up to the apartment. When he walked inside, the apartment was dark, except for the glow of the tv. He was about to call out to her, when he saw her, sound asleep and lightly snoring on the couch. He smiled to himself, deciding to let her sleep a little longer. 

After a quick shower and sandwich, Matthew turned off the tv and on the lamp next to couch, filled the room with its dim light. He then squatted in front of the couch and brushed the hair from her face before, gently rubbing her arm. “Baby, let’s get you to the bed. Come on, sweetheart.”

As Y/n slowly woke, she looked up at Matthew, with a sleepy smile. “You’re home. I can get up. What time is it,” she asked, her voice gravelly.

Matthew stood up and scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom, loving the way she nuzzled into his neck. “It’s late, Baby. I’m going to bed, too.”

“Awww, but then there be no sexy time.”

Matthew chuckled, as he settled her into the bed. “There is always the morning. I’ll set an early alarm.”

“But I’ve barely seen you today. I missed you,” she pouted, as she snuggled into the blankets.

Matthew quickly climbed in next to her and held his arm out so she could put her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and said, “I missed you too,” before giving her a gentle peck. “You had a busy day. Get some rest.” Y/n just hummed in reply.

Though, as Matthew started to drift off, he felt her hand slip beneath his sleep pants. He smiled without opening his eyes and asked, “what are you doing?”

“What does if feel like I’m doing? I’m not sleepy anymore,” she said, as she started to palm his cock. Matthew moaned as he started to harden, only encouraging her gently wrapped her hand around the shaft and begin to pump. I wasn’t long before she felt his hand slip beneath her tank top and begin to massage her breasts.”

“Turn on her side, Baby.”

She pulled her hand for his pants and quickly pushed hers off, before turning her back to him and settled on her side. She could hear fabric rustling behind her and then felt Matthew’s thin body press against hers. He stared to kiss her bare shoulder and neck, as his hand settled on her hip. He slid it down her thigh and then back up between her legs.

“Mmm, you’re so wet,” he mumbled quietly, before removing his hand. He then positioned himself, so he was at her entrance, and slowly began to fill her with his length. “You always feel so good.”

Y/n moaned as he set a lazy pace. She rolled her hips with his upward thrusts, causing the most delicious friction. His hand then found its way to her abdomen and reached up, pushing her tank top out of the way to reveal her breasts. He propped up on an elbow and moved his free hand her face to turning it towards his so he could kiss her. Y/n twisted at the waste, so she could deepen their kiss, and Matthew’s hand returned to her chest so he could massage her breasts and pull at her nipples. He started to pump his hips a little faster, causing her to gasp against his lips.

“Does that feel good, Baby?”

“God, yes,” she whispered, breathlessly as she arched her back, changing the angel of his penetration. He was now hitting her gspot, causing her thighs to begin to quiver. 

Matthew bent around her body pulled the nipple closet to him into his mouth, as he ran his hand down the side body and pass her hip down into the apex between her legs. He then started to circle her clit with his long fingers, pulling desperate cries from Y/n.

She began to grind her ass into his pelvis behind her, as she reached around and grabbed his ass, urging him to fuck her harder. He pulled his lips from breast and moved back up to her neck, where he nuzzled in and began to nibble and suck through his moans of pleasure. 

Y/n was so close, all it took was a quick pinch of clit and her body stiffened and then began to quake with the ferocity of her orgasm. She breathlessly chanted his name, until her body finally relaxed.

Matthew, some point durning her release, had shifted their position. She was now laying flat on her back and he had her limp and heavy legs pushed up to her chest, as he knelt between her thighs and thrusted widely into her. She watched him with heavy lidded eyes. He was truly beautiful with his eyes closed, mouth parted, as he breathed heavily, and his long wild hair stuck to his forehead with sweat. She wasn’t sure if it was her pregnancy hormones or the intensity the building pressure of her second impending climax, but tears started to form in her eyes. She needed him closer to her. She needed to feel his skin against hers. 

Finding a renewed strength, Y/n push her legs away from her chest and quickly sat up, hooking her arms around the back of his neck. The shift of her weight on his pelvis forced him to fall back onto his heels and his eyes popped open in momentarily shock. He then smiled as she wrapped her legs around his back and roll her hips and moved her body in the way one would ride an electric bull. Matthew’s hands tightly gripped her hips as he ground his up into her motion. They were both panting and grunting wordlessly, with their eyes locked on the other’s, as they frantically worked their way to climax.

Y/n giggled, as she twists her hips in circular motion, causing Matthew’s eyes to roll back and his mouth hung open as he gasped shakily. His movements were becoming jerky, as he got closer to his release. 

Y/n pressed her body against his and pulled an earlobe into her mouth and sucked, before letting it go and whispering into his ear, “aren’t you glad we didn’t wait til’ morning?” She didn’t know what to expected, but it wasn’t for Matthew to literally growl and fisted his hand into her hair and smash her mouth to his. The kiss was desperate and borderline violent. Before she knew it, she was once again on her back, with her legs pressed to her chest, but now they where hooked over his shoulders. Matthew was hovered over her, desperately slamming into her with his face buried into her neck, were she was sure would have a substantial bite mark in the morning. She truly couldn’t help the guttural cries that emanated from her body, as her love continued to fuck her at a hard, brutal pace until her second climax suddenly hit her like a wave. As she tightened around him and flooded their bed her juices, Matthew’s hips began to slow and stutter as he spilled his own release inside her. 

For a moment, he kept his face pressed to Y/n’s neck and hidden within her wild hair. Even though he was exhausted, he was sure not to lay his whole weight upon her body. They were both still and content, as they listened to the other’s labored breath. 

Gently, Matthew kissed the marks blooming along the side of Y/n’s neck and then shifted so he could roll off her body and onto the mattress next her. They both hissed, as he disconnected from her body and fell onto his back. Y/n would not allow the distance however, and nuzzled herself along his side. She rested her head in the center of his chest and happily hummed when the beating of his heart filled her senses. The sound felt like home. He was her home. Matthew started to comb his fingers through her hair, causing Y/n’s eyelids to began to slowly drupe, as she was lured back to sleep.

******

Y/n awoke the next morning to Matthew peppering her chest with nips and kisses. “Good morning. What time is it,” she asked, tiredly.

Matthew tugged on a nipple, taking a breast in each hand and pushed them together as he nuzzled his face between them. “Early,” he replied, muffled. “God, I love your tits,” he proclaimed before wrapping his lips around one of her nipples, sucking it to a hard peak, before switching to the other one. “They just so pretty and soft. So perfect… I love them,”

Y/n just giggled and tangled her fingers into his hair, as he continued to lavish her breasts with his divine attention. “So, you’ve mentioned. Why are we up so early? I know it’s not just so you can play with my tits.”

Matthew’s head popped up for the first time since she woke and he looked at her. “I set an early alarm, remember? So, we could play before work.”

Y/n’s smile grew devilish, as she winked at him. He moved up her body and pulled her lips into languid kiss. As they kissed, Matthew’s hands started to explore her body, quickly moving between her legs. However, when he tried to push two fingers inside her, she suddenly tensed and hissed pulling her lips from his. He froze and looked down at her in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

Y/n reached down and pulled his hand from her, flinching once more. “I’m sorry. I’m a little sore. We’ve really been going at it a lot lately. I hadn’t had sex in the last six months and we aren’t exactly gentle. Not to mention you’re no where near small. Can we just put a hold on it until tonight? I’m sorry.”

“No, Baby. Don’t be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just expected to get something started. I should have asked. I didn’t realize we were doing it too much. So, I’m sorry baby.”

“No stop. I’m not complaining about how much we are having sex... trust me. And I was totally down to get something started, I just didn’t realize how sore I was until you started poking around.”

Matthew just chuckled and said, “ok, fair enough. I’m sorry you’re sore.” He leaned down and gave Y/n quick kiss. We will give it a rest and try again tonight. How about you go back to sleep and I’m going to go get in the shower and get ready for the day. I’ll see you a lunch, right?”

Y/n yawned and nodded her head, “yup, see you at lunch. I love you. Have a good day.”

“Love you too, baby.”

Y/n fell back to sleep pretty quickly and Matthew head to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. As he was reaching for the shower knob, he noticed his pointer and ring finger had something red dried on his knuckles and under his nails. Confused he pulled his hand back and inspected them closer. When a slight metallic smell reached his nose, his stomach dropped and he spun and ran back to the bedroom. 

Y/n was suddenly awoken by Matthew frantically ripping the blankets from her body and running his fingers through her folds. “Jesu- ow! Matthew what the fuck are you doing!”

“Get up! Get dressed! Hurry,” he said, in a panicked voice as he started pull on any clothes he could find. When he saw she still wasn’t moving he started to throw clothes at her and yelled, “get dressed! You’re bleeding! We have to go to the doctor!”

“What,” she exclaimed, reaching down herself and pulling back her hand, she saw that her fingers were coated in blood. “Oh my god,” she said, starting to cry as she quickly dressed.

After grabbing the keys and slipping on their shoes they rushed out the door and headed to the emergency room.

The drive to the hospital was made in eerie silence, as both were lost in their own terrible thoughts. Y/n couldn’t help but think this was caused by her heavy drinking early on in her pregnancy. She had always felt like she was just waiting to see the outcome of that. Maybe it had harmed the baby’s development so much that she was now losing it. So, she sat, quietly crying and staring out the passenger window. 

Matthew, on the other hand, was blaming himself. He hadn’t exactly been gentle the last two times Y/n he had been together. Especially, the last time, the night before. He had been very rough. It’s just how it had always been with them. They both seemed to like it like that. He knew though, with her being pregnant, that they would need to be more careful and he has been trying, but he sometimes gets caught up in the moment and would forget. Like last night. Matthew worriedly chewed his lip as he drove them to the ER. 

Every time he heard Y/n sniffle next to him, his heart would break a little more. If they lost the baby, because of him, would she ever forgive him? Could he forgive himself? What would he tell his family? 

Reaching over, Matthew took her hand and held it. She didn’t pull away from him, so maybe that was a good sign. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, before letting go to turn into the hospital parking lot. 

Pulling up to the emergency entrance, Matthew parked the car but kept it running, as hurriedly ran to the passengers side. Helping Y/n out of the car, they quickly rushed through the front door and to the desk. Reaching into his wallet he gave her his credit card and whispered, “I’m going to go park the car. I’ll be right back.” He then kissed her temple and hurried back outside. 

When the person in front of her took a set in the waiting room, Y/n shuffled to the desk.

“Can I help you?”

“Um… I’m just at six months pregnant and when I woke up this morning I was bleeding,” Y/n quietly explained, as new tears began to form in her eyes.

“Ok honey, it’s ok. Just fill these out really quick. I’ll need your ID and insurance.”

“I have my ID, but I don’t have insurance. We are going to be paying out of pocket.” 

Momentary leaving her ID with the woman, Y/n took a pen and the clip board and settling down in a seat. She was halfway through the first sheet when Matthew rushed back through the doors. Sliding his phone into his pocket scanned the room until he saw her. Sitting next to her, he asked “what are you doing? Why are you sitting over here? They should have already brought you back. I’m going to go talk to the person behind the desk.”

As he went to stand, Y/n grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down. “Don’t, I’m almost done filling this out. They will still have to triage me.”

“What do you mean triage? This is an emergency,” he said loudly, shooting up from his seat and marching over to the window.

“Matthew… wait!” Y/n huffed and quickly finished the form and signed it, before following him to the desk.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” Matthew asked drawing the woman’s attention from her computer. When she looked up at him, he saw a look of recognition flicker across her face as her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. Typically, Matthew would not use his growing fame to his advantage, but this was an emergency. “Yeah, hi. My girlfriend is pregnant and bleeding. We need to see a doctor now. Can you somehow find a way to possibly move this along? I’m really freaking out! I don’t know what I do if something happened to Y/n or our baby. Please?” The woman behind the counter just numbly nodded her head and picked up the phone. 

As the lady talked to someone on the other line, Y/n assumed, “moving things along,” she slide the clipboard and filled out form across the counter, through the window. Matthew then pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head.

“It’s gunna be ok,” he mumbled into her hair. He wasn’t sure if he was saying it more for her or himself at this point. He felt her take a big shaky breath and squeezed her tighter to him. 

“Someone is one their way up. I’ll get everything entered in now. I hope everything is ok,” the woman said, hanging up the phone and grabbing the clip board. 

Matthew reached out and grabbed her hand as she did and very sincerely said, “thank you. I’m mean, really… Thank you.” She smiled and slightly blushed and nodded her head, as nurse pulled up next to them with a wheelchair.

“Y/f/n Y/l/n,” they asked.

Y/n nodded her head as Matthew guided her into the chair and as they started off to an ER room, he wave one last time to the woman behind the desk and then followed closely behind the nurse.

Once they were settled in the room, Y/n’s vitals were taken and she was given a gown to change into. She changed and sat on the edge of the bed, when Matthew, who had be very silent since entering the room, voiced his main worry. “What if this is my fault?”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“I was too rough with you yesterday. I know better. I read it in the books… I just get in the moment and forget though.”

“This isn’t your fault. It’s probably mine. There is probably something wrong with the baby because I drank so much in the beginning,” she said, looking down at her hands, as she nervously picking at her nails. 

Matthew scooted the chair closer to the bed and took her hands in his as he looked up at her. He could see the tears collected in her eyes. Reaching up he wiped them away just as they started to fall. “Look at me,” he said gently, waiting for her eyes to meet his. When they did, he could see all the doubt and fear she was feeling. “You did not do this. They would have noticed something off was wrong by now. Not only that, a lot of women drink regularly before finding out they are pregnant. You figure out pretty early on, too. You didn’t do this… I’m pretty sure it was me. Both times yesterday, I was unnecessarily rough. If I hurt you or the baby I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Stop! Ok, it wasn’t you… and I was drinking more then “regularly.” It was a solid steady consistent intox-,” she tried to explain, but was interrupted when doctor knocked on the door and entered.

“Hello Ms. Y/L/N, I’m Dr. Fiona Cox. I see that we are…” she checked her chart, “sixteen weeks pregnant and spotting?”

Both Y/n and Matthew anxiously answered at the same time, “yes!”

“Ok we will do a quick vaginal exam and then do a sonogram and check in on the baby.” The doctor walked over and pulled out stirrups at the end of the bed and asked, “Gone ahead and lay down, scoot your butt to the edge and put your feet up.” She then dug through the draws in the room, pulling out everything she would need for the exam. She then washed her hands and dried them, before putting in a pair of exam gloves and sitting on her rolling stool and moving to the end of the table. “Ok, scoot down just a little more for me Y/l/n … perfect. Now, how long has the bleeding been going on?”

“I noticed it this morning,” Matthew answered quickly.

The doctor gave him a surprised look, and asked, “You noticed?”

“Umm… well, we had just woken up and we were… well, I reached down and… touched her, but she said she was sore so we stopped and then I noticed there was blood on my hand.”

The doctor nodded and started the exam. “I’m sorry, this may be a little cold.” 

Y/n hissed in pain and clenched her hands around the fabric of her gown, as the doctor inserted the speculum and began to open it.

“How long have you been experiencing the tenderness and has there been any painful cramping?”

Y/n shook her head and replied, “no… no cramping and the soreness just started today. I just originally figured it was just sore from having sex the night before.”

“Ok, you can put your legs down and sit up, deer.” Once Y/n had sat up and situated herself the doctor continued, “Well, everything looks pretty superficial to me,” she informed them.

“Superficial… meaning what,” asked Matthew.

“Well, I do see some blood, but mostly I see swelling and bruising of the cervix. Other then that, the mucus plug seems to be intact. We will still do a sonogram to check the baby, but with the absence of cramping I’m sure we will find that everything is just fine.” She paused and took in the relieved faces before her, but she still had some questions she needed to ask and she was sure it was going to be pretty awkward. “So, you said you thought you were sore from the night before? Tell me would you consider last nights coupling anymore vigorous or… rougher than usual?”

When Y/n quickly turned her head to look at her boyfriend, the doctor noticed, for the first time, the bruises and bite marks on the girl’s neck, that clearly answered her question. When she turned to look over at the young man, she found him with his eyes glued to the floor. His chin was quivering and he looked as though he was about to cry. She watch as the girl reached for his hand and quietly said his name. Both she and the girl were startled when he suddenly jerked away from her hand and quickly left the room, leaving her with her patient. 

“I- I’m sorry. He was already worried that it was his fault. But it’s not… we both enjoy it and we’ve always made love on the rougher side. We… we just get really into it and kinda loss control. It didn’t feel any rougher than usual.”

“Believe it or not we do see this often. Usually, in the second trimester. There is nothing wrong with having a… vigorous sex life, but as you move further along in your pregnancy your body is going through a dramatic change. The cervix begins to thin an stretch to accommodate the growth of your baby and to prepare you body for its birth. It more sensitive and can be injured or damaged if not careful. I would recommend maybe toning it down between the sheets. If that is hard for him, maybe suggest letting you being in control of the force and pace of the coupling.”

Y/n nodded her head and said, “I can do that… if he ever touches me again. He is going to beat himself up over this.”

“Just give him a moment. He will be back. Trust me. He will want to be here for the sonogram. I’m going to be back shortly with a nurse and the equipment. Just relax. Everything is fine.” 

Y/n, once again nodded her head and thanked the doctor before she left the room. Alone, she sat quietly with her hand resting on her bump. “Mommy, hopes you’re ok, little bean. I’m still worried about you. Now would be a great time to kick again. Let me know all is good on the other side.” 

She sighed when nothing happened, but quickly looked up, as the door cracked open and Matthew slipped back in the room, his face red and blotchy. He wouldn’t look her in the eye and he shuffled to his seat and sat, scooting it back to its original spot. “Matthew?” 

He just sniffled in return and started to bounce his leg and chew on his thumb nail as stared off into the distance. Y/n bite her lip in thought, before she hopped off the bed and made her way over to Matthew. Pulling his hand away from his mouth and pushing him back on his seat she quickly crawled into his lap and nuzzled her face into his neck and light bite the skin there. She felt his body slightly relax, as his gasped despite himself. “Please look at me.”

“I hurt you… why didn’t you tell me I was hurting you,” he ask, finally looking at her.

“Stop… I love you. You didn’t do anything wrong. Doctor said this happens all the time. You didn’t hurt me… I enjoy the way you make love to me. The way you touch me. My body is just changing and we need to be gentler. We can do that. Right?”

Matthew sniffled again and swallowed. “Yeah… I think so. This will always be in the back of my mind, so I’m pretty sure I won’t forget next time.”

Y/n cupped the side of his face and brushed her thumb alone his cheek done. She then leaned in and gently brushed her lips against his. When they pulled away, she rested her forehead against his and whispered her love for him.

Matthew returned it and then wrapped his arms tightly around Y/n.  
They sat in silence tightly wrapped around each other, for what felt like forever.

Y/n eventually pulled back and brushed his hair from his face and gave him a million dollar smile. “What’s that for,” he asked, unable to resist returning an equally radiant smile back. 

“You are going to finally get to see and hear the baby. Are you excited?”

His smile wavered a little, as he was still worried about the baby, but he didn’t want to dampen her happiness, so he said, “definitely! Maybe they will be able to see if the bean is a boy or a girl.”

Y/n grew more excited at that thought and happily kissed him again, only for it to be interrupted by a knock on the door. Y/n quickly scrambled off Matthew’s lap as and bashfully laughed as the doctor walked in pushing the sonogram machine. 

“I’m glad to see everything was worked out! Hop back on up the bed Ms. Y/l/n. Let’s have a peek at your baby. 

Matthew stood up and help Y/n climb back up on the bed and took her hand as he stood by her. They waited as the doctor squirted a clear gel on Y/n tummy, causing her to shake with a quick chill, and watched as the doctor began to move the wand. Within seconds, the room was filled with the strong and steady beat of their baby’s heart. Matthew almost chocked on the knot forming in his throated as he started to cry again. This time tears of relief and joy.

“Everything looks great. Just as it supposed to.”

“Is there a chance you can see what we are having? Or is it too soon,” Y/n asked.

“I’m sure we can. Let’s take a look. Ahh, well it looks like you are the proud parents of a little girl See right here? It’s a hamburger and not a turtle.”

“Hamburger,” Matthew asked, sharing a confused look with Y/n.

“If it’s shaped like a hamburger it’s a girl. If it is shaped like a turtle it’s a boy. It’s how we tell the difference.”

Matthew just laughed and then turned to Y/n and said, “I told you “she” felt right.” 

“You did. You called it,” y/n said laughing. 

“Is there a way I can get a couple of pictures,” Matthew asked the doctor.

“Already done,” she said ripping them of the machine and handing them over. Matthew looked down at them grinning madly.

Dr. Cox then, handed Y/n some tissue to wipe her belly off, before saying, “I recommend you give yourself three or four days to heal up before you resume any sexual activity. You should also call your regular doctor to follow up.”

“Um… I’m actually looking for a doctor. I just got into town two days ago and prior to that I was only seeing a nurse practitioner at a woman’s clinic in Vegas.”

“Oh, well, now that you’re further along you definitely need to find OGBYN to continue your care. There is a doctor who works in this building and she is taking new clients. She is very good. Her name is Dr. Platt. I’m going to give you her name and office number and you should give her a call this week. She is a friend of mine. I’ll let her know to be expecting your call.” She quickly jotted down the name and number and handed it to Y/n. “Good luck you two and congrats on the girl! Just remember only gentle loving for now. You can return to your regularly scheduled program once you’ve given birth and it’s been ok’d by your doctor.”

Both Matthew and Y/n blushed, but nodded their heads in understanding and thanked Dr. Cox as she left the room. Y/n began to change back into her clothes as Matthew returned to staring down at the ultrasound pictured in his hand. He couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off his face.

*****

“Did you want to get something to eat,” Matthew asked, as he drive them home.

Y/n scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion and asked, “Don’t you have to get to work? I’m kinda surprised they haven’t been blowing up your phone.” 

“Oh, I called in when I was parking the car. I told them it was a family emergency.” He glanced over at Y/n, just in time to see a small smile tug at the corner of her lips. “What was the cute little smirk about?”

Y/n let her eyes drift over to him, before she blushed and looked down, becoming almost bashful. “I don’t know… you referred to us as a family and I really liked the sound of it. Made me fell all warm inside,” she explained, quietly giggling.

Matthew smiled softly, and reached over and took Y/n hand, bringing it to his lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “We are a family. Dad, mom and baby daughter.”

She quietly nodded her head in agreement and then said, “I had also realized I would get to spend the day with my most, favorite person.”

Her words caused Matthew to beam at her, before asking, “so do you want to grab food or get something at home?”

“Mmm, let’s just go home. I’ll make us something.”

“Y- you mean you’re going to cook? You do realize we just left the ER. Are you trying to make us have to go back?”

“Matthew… the doctor just no sex. Not that I had to be bed ridden.”

“Oh I know… that’s not what I was referring to. I was talking about the ingestion of the food you plan on trying to cook,” he said laughing, trying to avoid her hand as she swapped at him.

“Keep that shit up, the only person who will need to go to the emergency room is you, ass!”

Matthew just continued to chuckle. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m just kidding. I’ll eat anything you attempt to cook. Though we better hurry up and get married so when we die of food poising or salmonella, we can be buried together,” he said, again trying to drive while dodging her attacks.

She then suddenly stopped her assault and stared at him slack jawed.

“What?”

“Did you just say we should get married?”

Matthew swallowed nervously, as he was having a hard time reading her reaction. He didn’t mean to say what he did, but since it was out there maybe he could test the waters. So, he decided to try play it off by saying, “Trust me, you will know when I’m asking. It will be much more dramatic and probably involve a skeleton or two. Why? Did you want me to ask you? I just figured we would eventually get there… unless that’s not something you don’t want.”

Y/n relaxed and nervously laughed. “It’s not something I don’t, not want… that doesn’t make sense. What I me is I don’t object to the idea. I just assumed we would eventually get there, too. I was just worried you were serous and I responded by slapping you.”

Matthew laughed and said, “honestly, babe. I wouldn’t expect any less from you.”


End file.
